SHORT FUSE
Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll Going to my first festival was a lot like the first time I had sex. Despite seeing lots of footage on television and the internet I had no idea what to expect, how I was going to cope, how long I would last and whether my dignity would remain intact at the end of it. But, regardless of these concerns I knew it was something I had to do. As a teenager, few occasions hold such prominence as a right of passage as going to your first festival. Going to a festival is all about living in the moment so don’t plan or think too much about what you think you ought to do. If you lose your friends, instead of meandering through an endless stream of people for six hours trying to find them again, see it as an opportunity to go and do something or see a band you normally wouldn’t. Get out of your comfort zone, go with the flow and enjoy it. Obviously, people go to a festival to have a good time and festivals essentially become semi-organised chaos. One reason for this is that some people will inevitably spend their entire month’s wages on ecstasy, cocaine and ketamine. If you’re less well paid, or connected, you may choose to buy some ‘legal’ substance at the limits of scientific knowledge. This will probably be bought from some guy called Jim with less of a clue than you have about what exactly it is you’re going to spend the rest of the weekend snorting.
However, a word of warning, if you indulge in the ever increasing varieties of ‘plant foods’ and ‘bath salts’ there is the chance you could wind up naked, covered in vomit inside a Portaloo contemplating your mortality in a methoxetamine fuelled conversation with God. After that has happened, you may spend months wishing you could have your old life back, but you can’t because you will always be that guy. Nevertheless, nobody goes to a festival to be massive square either. If you’re the guy who takes a book and sits reading all weekend alone in their tent then you can expect your ‘friends’ to fashion ‘bookmarks’ for you out of used condoms. The last night of the festival is always memorable. It is an actual scientific fact that everyone will have brought at least three gas canisters too many. Fires will be started and canisters will be thrown upon them. The entire campsite will begin to resemble an apocalyptical battlefield with explosions ripping through the night sky. The following morning the campsite will be one barren, smouldering tip. Going to a festival can be a liberating experience and can change your outlook on life. They provide an opportunity to meet new people, see different bands and try new things. You could even justify throwing a beaker full of your own urine at Razorlight if you think you would find it
liberating. Just remember, don’t over do it and end up a quivering, shivering wreck coiled up in the foetal position covered from head to toe in your own masticated filth. There may be some people in the welfare tent who will take you in, give you a blanket and tell you you’re not going to die, but everyone else will disown you. Mark Mckay
Social media has enabled a generation of teenagers to create massive online cults obsessed with celebrity. In this world of rapid technological change, celebrities and social media have a closer relationship than ever before. The twittersphere is a fanatical network of beliebers, directioners and little monsters (they actually call themselves these things). Spell check highlights twothirds of these fandoms, surely this fact alone would make anyone uneasy. Lady Gaga has the most followed account on Twitter with more than 20 million followers, beating Justin Bieber into second with more than 18 million and Katy Perry into third with more than 15 million. Barack Obama is down in eighth (nearly 13 million followers) and Stephen Fry is lingering down at 77th (nearly four million followers). Lady Gaga recently won the NME award for Best Band Blog on Twitter.
Fuse.
Friday March 16 2012
The 140 character obsession
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Since when did this even become an award? A day doesn’t go by without topics about performers or other celebrities trending around the globe. Most notably, trends concerning a certain Justin Bieber seem to be inescapable and wholly unavoidable. Surely it won’t be long before Twitter introduces a way to weed out the trending topics an individual user doesn’t like. That day can’t come soon enough. The Twitter accounts and Facebook pages of these public figures might widen their fan base, but it isn’t all sunshine and mounting numbers of followers. When social media opens up the lives of celebrities, revealing true selves can be rather risky. Ashton Kutcher tweeted about the firing of an American coach and felt the backlash from his followers. He then deleted the tweet and has since handed his account over to be managed by others.
Charlie Sheen is “winning” in terms of numbers of followers, but it is safe to say that a fair few are probably just there for the tweets that make headlines, especially after he was fired from his role on Two and a Half Men. There have been numerous socalled ‘Twitter Wars’, such as Nicola McLean and Natasha Giggs, after Nicola commented on Natasha’s decade long affair with her brother-in-law. It is hard enough being a teenager with a Twitter account while going through a break-up, but for Miley Cyrus it was all too public. Ex-boyfriend, Justin Gaston, tweeted: “People mistake stupidity for bravery way to easily.” Miley responded with: “Yeah. I love it when people mistake bravery with writing a few stupid tweets trying to make it seem like they don’t care. You’re afraid to love.” We like an insight into other people’s lives, but it comes at a high price for some celebrities. This is all thanks to the beloved internet; the medium which al-
lowed Dubstep DJ and producer, Skrillex, to ask out Ellie Goulding via email. The internet is littered with tips on how to get a celebrity to respond to you or to follow you. Twitter’s @ response system is so simple that contact with an idol is supposedly easier than ever before. Maybe that is why Facebook, Twitter and other examples of social media have exploded into being. An opportunity for contact with those we respect, admire or simply have a crush on is seemingly irresistible. In the 21st century, we can access celebrities as easily as our neighbours and, if your favourite star has Twitter and your neighbour doesn’t, you’ll probably know more about the celebrity. Stephanie Mullins
Cover
This issue’s front cover was designed by the very talented Tim Rooker. If you’re an artist, photographer or designer and would like to see your work displayed in Fuse get in touch with our team and show off your talents. Email: fuse@forgetoday.com