Table of Contents Editor’s Corner Who is Nisha Ray _________________________________________________ 1
Cover Story Princess Keisha Omilana____________________________________________ 5 Empowerment Lounge Tffney Cambridge: From Reality Star to Little Girl that Lost Her Smile_________ 16 Melissa Lebron: Nascar Mom Building a Legacy___________________________ 20 Dana Vana: Journey to Living Limitless__________________________________ 24 Darlaina Rose: The Diary of a Real Mad Black Woman______________________ 30 The McBride Sisters: A Passion for Wine ________________________________ 36
Just Come Home by Krista Pavy________________________________________ 39 Fashion Corner How to Walk in High Heels by Genevieve Muwana_________________________ 43 Fashion Editorial: Pono Fashion Meets Art Museum_______________________ 50 Beauty Lounge Face It! by Chelle Dunmeyer__________________________________________ 53 In Focus by Chelle Dunmeyer_________________________________________ 68 Sex and Relationships Union Unbroken by Latoya Lewis_______________________________________ 58 Art of Seduction by Latoya Lewis_______________________________________ 65 Health and Wellness ADHD is it a Real Epidemic or Just Misdiagnosed by Noelle McFadden__________61
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WHO IS NISHA RAY?
I’ve known this woman for a long time, and yet I don’t know this woman at all. I first met this crazy, fun-loving, in your face, over the top personality one day back in the early 1990’s as I was walking down the street with a friend. As the friend and I walked and talked about nothing of importance as girls our age often did, we noticed a girl about our age walking down the front lawn of one of the houses in our subdivision. “Hi, I’m Nisha!” she said, as she firmly but expectantly planted herself directly in front of our path! I didn’t know it then, but that day started the beginning of an adventure that is still unfolding today, more than 20 years later. Over the next few years I laughed, cried, screamed and dreamed, with Nisha Ray riding shotgun in my old, white, 1985 Toyota Corolla. Oh the memories! As I take time to reflect, I marvel at the twists and turns life sometimes brings, and how things often seem to come “full circle” without even a hint of warning.
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As those twists and turns play out in our lives, we find ourselves dealing with a myriad of challenges, obstacles, setbacks, and failures. Many of us accept defeat, and retreat with our proverbial bubbles burst, nursing our wounds until the time comes when we feel we are strong enough to face the music, get back in the ring, and face the world all over again. So continues the cycle for many who would rationalize themselves as being “normal”. But I never said Nisha Ray was normal. Nisha Ray doesn’t fit any mold or type that you’ve ever seen, and she repeatedly and defiantly dares to break through the limits that seemingly try to define her. She consistently reinvents herself each time emerging more victorious than last, embodying the beloved symbol of the Phoenix that rises from the ashes! I’ve had the intense pleasure of taking a balcony seat to the events that have transpired in her life just as we were both transitioning into womanhood, then motherhood, and now as we join forces professionally to ignite the inner passions of women all over the globe. And what a show it has been! Who knew that the audacious teenage girl that literally stepped into my path that afternoon would become the gracious and perseverant success that I see before me today? I have seen her battle homelessness; selflessly lending herself to the aid of single mothers by contacting congressmen, and serving as an advocate for homelessness while enduring her own battle with the political red tape of the inner workings of America’s social services housing system. Rallying support for the same sector of people that she found herself a part of, then traveling from one end of the state to another with no personal transportation to pass out collected diapers and food to other mothers who found themselves unable to provide for their children. I’ve seen her place personal impediments in the back seat while she tirelessly launched a 24 hour hotline for frustrated mothers who needed a judgement free zone to unleash verbal assassinations regarding their own battles with life’s unexpected and often relentless trials. I’ve enjoyed brainstorming sessions, as I sat on the phone from a different state and built ideas with her as she walked through the rain, on her way to do the things for her children that other women often take for granted every day. She has written and co-authored books through the looking glass of pain, both emotional and physical in an effort to bring clarity and inspiration to women who have allowed their own dreams to lie dormant or die completely. This unrelenting perseverance has morphed into several successful written works and appearances. She has co -authored “Congratulations You Just Lost Your Job”, which was compiled by author LaSean Rinique, and “Prayers For a Single Mom”, compiled by author Jennifer Pink. She is a Tony Robbins trained Strategic Interventionist, a highly sought after motivational speaker and the author of “The Focus on You Self Image and Confidence Workbook and Journal”; and when she is asked how she managed to go down into the smoldering fires of life and ascend without even a trace of charred clothing, or even the slightest hint of coal’s aroma, her profoundly simplistic reply is “But God”, reverently reflecting the underlying cause of her unyielding tenacity. She is the poetically rhythmic reflection of the ministry that she founded entitled: “Faith That Endures”. She is the jumper cabled inspiration to dead dream batteries everywhere, allowing herself to be used of God to pour regenerative lighter fluid on the flames of passion inside every woman’s stagnant pursuit of success! She is Nisha Ray!
By Chelle Dunmeyer Beauty Editor Vice President of Operations
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REGAL BLACK WOMAN SERIES:
PRINCESS KEISHA OMILANA By Nisha Ray
Definition of Regal: 1 : of, relating to, or suitable for a king 2 : of notable excellence or magnificence
Did you know this is the decade for people of African Descent? You didn't know that did you? Did you know there is a spotlight on Women who are birthing the Decade? Bet you didn't and don't feel bad because I had no clue of this either until an associate advised me to check out the United Nation site and see all of the things coming.
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The United Nations declared 2015-2024 to be the International Decade for People of African Descent December 10, 2014. While everyone was fussing that Black History is only one month a year they were not aware that all people of African Descent across the world will not only be celebrated but policies will be created across the world on behalf of Black people.
Part of this initiative will be the UN holding a talk on Global African Women Birthing the Decade which I will be attending. As I looked into this I started thinking that African American women have been making a stance and being a voice for people in their industry that look like them. Out of these thoughts and research my series on the Regal Black Woman was born. Focus on You Magazine will be shining a spotlight on these women who are not only the definition of Regal as defined by Webster Dictionary but meets my standards of being a woman who is beautiful, smart, talented, has faith, and is active in her community and puts her family first.
As I looked for this woman I came across Princess Keisha Omilana who is wife to Prince Kunle Omilana of Nigeria . Yes, an actual Princess who is not just royal in name but royal in manner.
Princess Keisha Omilana, from Inglewood, California and earned her fashion degree in Chicago and is now a successful model. She is the known as the "Pantene Girl" the first African American woman to be featured in three consecutive commercials. The Working Princess as she is called has worked with major brands such as L'Oreal, Maybeline, Revlon, and Cover Girl. She has walked runaways internationally as well as for Dubai Fashion Week. Read on to discover what makes Princess Keisha Omilana a Regal Black Woman beyond her title.
Nisha Ray: For all of our readers out there can you tell them who Princess Keisha/The Working Princess is?
Princess Keisha: Everything there is to know about me is in my bio on my website. Please visit www.keishaomilana.com to see who #TheWorkingPrincess truly is.
Exposure: Can you tell Exposure readers about the businesses that you and your husband Prince Kunle of Nigeria own? Princess Keisha: My husband and I own Wonderful Media LLC and we are working on several new projects that I can not mention just yet. But please follow me on Twitter and LIKE my Facebook page for all of our upcoming announcements.
Nisha Ray : How is it being married to a Prince and working with him as well?
Princess Keisha: *It is a blessing to be able to work with your spouse. My strengths are his weakness and his strengths are my weakness. You can't get anything past him because you have to get past me and vice versa. The fact that he is a
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Prince is really just a bonus. The truth is, he is my Prince not because he was born into royalty, but because of how he treats me and always puts family first.
Nisha Ray : You were born in a normal family in California how did your life prepare you to be who you are today?
Princess Keisha: My life was very normal however, there was NOTHING normal about me! I was such a little pre Madonna and my sister and Mommy love to tell stories of just how prissy I was. They did not understand me then but they see my life now and they both agree it all makes sense. If your child has something special, different or corky about them, let them be. Please do not try to change them. They are more than likely preparing themselves for who they will become when they grow up.
Nisha Ray : If anyone told the younger you that you would grow up to be a Princess would you have believed them?
Princess Keisha: *NO! However, that is only because I would have said, "But I'm already a Princess." I truly thought I was, behaved like I was and told everyone I was a Princess. It was very annoying for my family I'm sure.
Nisha Ray : What was the hardest thing you have had to endure or overcome and how did you get through it?
Princess Keisha: I must admit that I have been extremely blessed to not have had to endure much. It was hard for me to continue to be told, "No thank you. We already have a black girl." by EVERY top modeling agency in NYC. When I finally signed with an agent I then had to endure being shut out of certain fashion shows, add campaigns and commercials because of their lack of diversity. I simply kept at it, I never gave up, I kept my faith, I knew that I would have favor in the eyes of man and I wasn't afraid to leave NYC to travel and work where the love was. Nisha Ray : I see you are on panels and events about Diversity in your industry why is that important to you? Princess Keisha: Being Black in the fashion industry can be depressing at times if you let it be. So, it's very important to express the need for diversity in everything that I am passionate about. Particularly the arts as I'm an Artist.
Nisha Ray : Princess Keisha I applaud your efforts in speaking out for others who look like you and I see you have even taken a stance on social media about social issues beyond your work such as #blacklivesmatter why did you feel it was important to add your voice to such issues? Princess Keisha: Well, I have a black son who is lovable and cute as a button now, but in ten years’ time he will be 18. The thought that there are people in this world who think his life has no value because of the melanin in his skin is totally unacceptable. I will fight until the end of time for him and every other black child to feel and know they matter.
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Nisha Ray : As a Mother myself your heart for children and philanthropy work on their behalf was important reason why I thought of you as a Regal Black Woman. Tell our readers about your philanthropy work. Princess Keisha: I try to be a voice speaking for children who are voiceless. I work with various charities here in the US, in Africa, Asia and Europe. One of the main reasons why we decided to make Cyprus our hub is that it is centrally located to all four continents. As an artists, I also support the arts along with education, building self-worth, ADIS and Malaria awareness as well as health care for women. A few of my favorite charities are Same Sky, Kechie's Project, Princess Grace Foundation and iGirl co-founded by my sister Missy Bolden.
Nisha Ray : Most celebrities and people in the entertainment industry did not speak out on the issue you speak of on diversity or #blacklivesmatter because of endorsement deals and fear of how it will affect their brand. How did your comments and stance effect your brand?
Princess Keisha: As a public figure one must always be very careful and "politically correct" which I try to do. Nothing that I have spoken out about has affected my brand in a negative light.
Nisha Ray : Princess Keisha you mentioned your son and speaking of him as I look through your social media most of your pictures are of your family so I can tell that your family is very important. How do you keep that balance with your children and give them a strong foundation to grow on?
Princess Keisha: Family is very important and my husband and I have a family first policy. So there really is nothing to balance because if whatever is brought to me will not benefit my family, I want no part of it. My husband feels the same way. My children see and feel this so their foundation is strong and set for life.
Nisha Ray : What is the legacy you are looking to leave behind for your children and the world?
Princess Keisha: Good name is better than silver and gold. I want my children to know that I always put God first, worked hard, lived out my dreams, never settled for less than I was worth, never sold my soul and provided the keys to success, good health and great wealth.
Nisha Ray : Your faith and the spiritual principles you are looking to instill in your children stick out to me. Tell me how your faith has helped you to get to where you are and where you are going?
Princess Keisha: My faith is the center of everything I do. Thank God for that because in the fashion, media and art industry there are many disappointments and let downs. I pray and thank the Lord first thing every morning. I do not
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sleep without giving thanks. So when the enemy, haters and naysayers flex their muscles to try to stop or block me from achieving my goals, I soar far above the very goal they all tried to block. My faith is the only reason I am where I am today and have achieved what I have and will in the future.
Nisha Ray : Your relationship with your husband is very important to you. How does a Princess and Prince with busy schedules keep their spark alive?
Princess Keisha: Prince Kunle tells me he loves me about 50 times a day. For over ten years now no matter how busy he is or where he is traveling, he has never let a day go by without saying, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world. You are my dream girl." It's impossible to not have sparks when your man communicates this to you EVERYDAY.
Nisha Ray: Father’s Day is around the corner what are some of the items that are befitting your Prince?
Princess Keisha: I would first like to say Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's, Daddy's, Father's, Stepdad's and Grandfather's. You are appreciated and weather you realize it or not, your role and presence is needed, necessary and noted. My Prince loves to relax and be with his family. He is the most low maintenance royal I have ever met. The complete opposite of me! My top ten Father's Day items for him would be mixture of items and gifts. Moments and memories are always better and more appreciated than "things".
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Top 10 Father's Day items for my Prince 1. A gentleman's full day spa treatment. 2. Anything our children have created at home. 3. A weekend getaway to Bora Bora. 4. Brunch at Dorchester in London 5. Dinner at Nobu in Paris. 6. Custom made one of a kind cuff links. 7. Custom made slim fit Italian suit. 8. Prada sunglasses. 9. Private box premiership tickets to any Arsenal FC game. 10. New portrait of all five of our children.
Nisha Ray: You’re a wife, mother, philanthropist, model, business woman...How do you manage to juggle all of these roles and still have time for yourself?
Princess Keisha: That is the magic question! I read the book The Artist's Way when we moved to Dubai from NYC. The book introduces "Artist's dates" and explains their importance. One day a week I leave the house and spend a few hours all to myself. This helps me not to ever feel overwhelmed and I am always excited about knowing I will have time for myself. I also write three pages freehand every morning after I pray.
Nisha Ray: Being a busy and successful woman how do you maintain relationships with girlfriends as you moves through life juggling business and family?
Princess Keisha: I actually do not have many girlfriends. I know a lot of woman and I have many acquaintances but I can count on one hand how many true and real friends I have. When you are in the "industry" and you are driven, about your business, confident, know your worth and have a no tolerance for jealousy, envy and competition between friends, you find yourself with very few. The few friends I do have, I cherish and give my undivided attention and presence whenever we are together. Which is not often enough!
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Nisha Ray: I understand how that is so tell me with the few friends you have what is your favorite thing to do when it's girl day or night out?
Princess Keisha: Oh my favorite thing to do is EAT! Girls day or girls night out we are most definitely eating at a favorite restaurant. Then of course pampering ourselves is a must. Side by side mani's, pedi's and full body massage. My sister, who is one of my best friends, and I do this every time she comes to NYC.
Nisha Ray : When you take time for yourself what luxury items are on your list of must have for any girl who is a princess or want to feel like one?
Princess Keisha: Luxury is defined differently for every woman. For me, designer accessories always make my day. I could never give a list however, anything from Chanel and Dior makes me smile!
Nisha Ray: What is next for The Working Princess?
Princess Kiesha: I am living in Cyprus now and I am totally enjoying the island. Before I moved to the island, I was in Dubai for six months where I opened and closed top fashion shows. I built a lot of relationships in this period which now allows me to travel between Cyprus and Dubai. Prince Kunle and I will be launching our new project and I am so excited. I'm also working with a few new designers on the island and I have just been asked to be a celebrity judge for an upcoming fashion show.
Princess Keisha Thank very much for taking time out for me and the Focus on You Magazine Readers
How can our readers connect with you?
I would love to connect with all of your readers. I'm on Twitter, Instagram and my team just created a Facebook fan page that everyone can LIKE. You can also reach me through my website. Facebook:HRH Princess Keisha Omilana Twitter: @keishaomilana Instagram: @keishaomilana www.keishaomilana.com
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Tiffney Cambridge: From Reality Star to Little girl Who Lost Her Smile By Nisha Ray
As a person who doesn't watch a lot of Reality TV Tiffney Cambridge of “Marrying the Game� is the only one who ever caught my attention. It wasn't because of chaos, back biting, fighting or the other drama that keep millions entranced with Reality Shows. It is because she is a regular woman who knows who she is, and what she wants; she is an educated woman with her own career as a teacher who just happened to fall in love with a celebrity. Tiffney is a breath of fresh air for reality TV. She is a woman that made others believe in fairytale endings. So I along with many other women rooted for her, cried with her and cheered her on. As Focus on You Magazine caught up with the Reality Star turned Children's Author we couldn't wait to ask a few questions to share with our readers.
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Nisha: Who is Tiffney Cambridge? Tiffney: I'm an independent, strong woman, a mom, not perfect, but trying to do the right thing and live my life right; and a woman who tries to see the good in others.
Nisha: Tiffney, seeing the good in others is a big part of who you are. Being in the public eye and going through a lot publicly, how did you not lose that part of you that can still see the good in people and situations? Tiffney: I always have to stay true to me and who I was raised to be. At heart I am a positive and private person. I try to mind my own business and not get caught up in anything negative.
Nisha: What is a day in the Life of Tiffney Cambridge like?
Tiffney: It's Long!!! (She laughs) I get up at 6am so I can mediate then get the kids up and dressed, they have to be at school the same time I have to be at work because I am also a teacher. After we all get out the door from 8 am -2:30\3 pm I am teaching and I get two to three hours of down time that I use for prayer, to work on my books and do something for myself. After that I pick up my children and part two of my day happens.
Nisha: I'm tired just hearing about your day. How do you keep your children involved in your business?
Tiffney: It's very important to me that my children are involved in what I do and more importantly it makes me happy to have my children with me. They also get excited to see what mommy is doing and it makes them feel important to me. Nisha:Tiffney how has your faith helped you during your journey? Tiffney: I was born and raised in church so I've learned to trust the plan God has for my life and it keeps me moving forward no matter what life changes I go through. It keeps me focused and motivated to be the best Tiffney I can be.
Nisha: Tiffney what is your book project about?
Tiffney: The Little Girl Who Lost Her Smile was written for my children and other children to provide reassurance and comfort to children experiencing divorce or separation.
Nisha:Tiffney, How can your book help?
Tiffney: My book can help children obtain a better understanding of what it means to be a child living and being loved in two separate homes.
Nisha: Tiffney, What's next for you.
Tiffney: The Little Girl Who Lost Her Smile is a three part series so more writing.
Nisha: Tiffney, one of my favorite questions to ask is: What do you need to get to your next level? If someone was reading this and could help you get to where you're looking to go, what would you want?
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Tiffney: A Publishing Deal. Having a publisher who can help with the book to make it readily available and easily accessible would take the books to the next level.
Nisha: Awesome! Tiffney thank you for taking time out to speak to me and share a piece of yourself with our readers. Can you tell our readers how to purchase your book and follow you on social media?
Tiffney: Thank you. The Little Girl Who Lost Her Smile can be purchased at http://www.thelittlegirlwholosthersmile.com/ And anywhere books are sold. Social Media Instagram, Facebook and Twitter: @LoveTiffney
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Melissa Lebron: Nascar Mom Building a Legacy By Nisha Ray
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As mothers you sometimes sacrifice your dreams for your children but what if your dreams and potential can be lived out and not only fulfill you but ignite a passion in your children that will create a legacy for your family? For Nascar mom, Melissa Lebron, that is not a question it’s her reality. Melissa went after her dreams and in seeing her pursuing her goals while being a mother to seven (7). Yes you heard me right seven (7). Melissa pursuing her passion has not just been history changing making her the first African American Woman to own a Nascar Development team but it has opened up the door for two of her sons Eric (20) and Enico (19) to drive for Melissa.
Nisha Ray: From Corrections to Music to Owning a Nascar Team how did you make that jump and why? Melissa: I began my love for the entertainment industry on the music video set of Request Line, produced by Dwayne Hayward. I sang and released asong "Love Patrol" produced by Jay Ellis. But my true love was behind the scenes. The powerful and creative aspects, I was hired as aproduction assistant and extra in Roxanne Shantè's video and I was hooked. Over the decades my roles have changed from music engineer,intern at Sony and working at Epic under true music industry vets,Laverne Perry & Hank Cadwell. But I ended up getting a "Real Job” with security and benefits at NYCDOC and retired a Captain. I never fully left the industry, I managed and produced several projects over the years. I was contacted to handle an artist development deal for what I would later find out was an aspiring race car driver. This was my first introduction to NASCAR. As our professional relationship developed, so did my interest in NASCAR and the lack of a relatable image. I attended an executive board meeting in Daytona and my marketing plans truck a serious interest. I was strongly encouraged to activate it with an authentic driver.
Nisha Ray: What made you step out and continuously recreate yourself? Melissa: The fact that my children watch everything I go through as a singlemom, the obvious struggles raising 7 children and entering a male dominated southern sport. Believing in a dream, having strong faith in God and making it a reality. I am creating the perfect examples of humility, respect, perseverance and tenacity. I cannot stop, no matter what. I will not enstill the comfortable option of quitting because it may be hard or you receive a "No" or a failure. They are just as much a part of any success story. Dedication and hard work and patience always prevails.
Nisha Ray: How has your faith helped you in this process?
Melissa: I rely on God to direct my path. When I was being stripped of everything it felt, when God was getting my full attention. I was carrying my 3 young babies on my back as a single mom, all I had was my faith in God and I had to get off my face just to get up on my knees. Because my children were witnessing and if I gave up because it got hard they would carry that into their lives also! I assure you there is a brilliant sunshine after the rains that brings clarity.
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Nisha Ray: What are your inspirations and what keeps you motivated?
Melissa: Knowing that my children will pass on to the children the examples that they witnessed first hand. I can see the humility and respect that they possess and the determination to succeed! If you want it, Go Get It! Make an investment in yourself to achieve your goals
Nisha Ray: How do you juggle your different roles and responsibilities?
Melissa: Purely by the grace of God, I am a severe asthmatic, I am frequently hospitalized for long periods of time to get stable. As a single mom with 7kids ( 3 biological ) it is an enormous challenge everyday. As a businesswoman in a male dominated sport it's exhilarating, I am competitive by nature. I can not stop pushing forward. I have to take time out for me and the things that I enjoy to recharge my battery. I use makeup as a quick pick me up. I have become obsessed with it, I have quite an impressive collection.
Nisha Ray: You've mentioned your sons and wanting to keep them grounded so they don't get caught up in the celebrity lifestyle. How do you do that?
Melissa: I show them the reality of the entertainment industry, I don't sugar coat anything.
Nisha Ray: What’s next for Melissa Lebron?
Melissa: Finding Sponsors for the races and developing the team further.
Nisha Ray: Melissa Thank you for taking time out to speak to Focus on You Magazine .
Melissa: Thank you for this opportunity to be featured in your magazine
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Dana Vana The Journey to Living Limitless By Nisha Ray
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Sometimes you look around your circle and you see friends or acquaintances that inspire you to push your limits and just jump into life and your dreams without holding anything back. For me that person was fellow Tony Robbins Strategic Interventionist, Dana Vana. In our community there are some of the most talented, passionate, life changers from around the world. Dana stood out to me because of her love of life and her fighting spirit. Her road to building her dreams did not come without sacrifice, doubts or fears. But Dana figured out how to push past the doubts, push past the fears, to break through the limits that life and society tried to place upon her to Journey to the Place of Limitless. The place where she could be all that she was created to be. Dana a native Israeli has traveled without money from Isreal to London to India and back again. Dana shares her story with Focus on You Magazine on how she has broken through limits to live her dream.
Nisha Ray: Who is Dana Vana?
Dana: I want the world to know that I am limitless I am full of Passion I want to entertain people to Inspire them to make them feel as if a kid carefree and get them to listen to their own voice to know what they want and to go after a simple but limitless life.
Nisha Ray: Dana what started you on your journey? Dana Vana: At one point I realized that not even money would stand in my way if I want to do something. I don’t come from a wealthy family and even if my family had it they would tell me to find my own way because I was at that age. So I made up my mind that I would go see Tony Robbins and I wanted to go to US but I couldn’t get a VISA because they thought I would go to work and I was so upset and angry that they denied me and the world is mine as well so who are they to tell me that I could not go? So right there the concept of limits frustrated me and I decided to develop a life without limits. So when my friend told me Tony was coming to UK it was like a blessing from God no worry about VISA I found my ticket at a good price and I wanted a VIP ticket because I wanted to be close to Tony and talk to him. I was able to get the plane ticket on my last bit of credit on my Visa but after that I was stuck.. SO what do I do.. I contacted friends and they were already staying with people and I was turned down time after time. Until I was told that there was a website that had people who would house you for free. It was my heart wanting something. It was me being full of energy, knowing what I wanted. Knowing that God was with me.
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Nisha Ray : How was your experience was it everything you expected? Dana Vana: In the middle of the night in the UK and I found myself crying and scared because the gentleman I was going to be staying with looked like Indiana Jones and I judged him and it so scared me it was the middle of the night and I had never stayed anyone before with strangers and I had to tell myself that I am not going to be scared God is with me. I got a call from someone saying they knew my host and he was a good person. So they host called me back and he turned out to be a great guy and we are still friends today. I got a chance to meet Tony Robbins and talk to him, I met great people and made new friends and experiences. I had good experiences and bad ones but I made up my mind and I did it.
Nisha Ray: Tell me about your journey to Bollywood
Dana Vana: My Bollywood experience was pretty similar I had a dream that I would be a Bollywood star with the romance, the dresses the experiences! I was talking about and dreaming about and one day a friend said to me Dana I think it is time for you to take action. My friends have been crucial in my dreams. I gave myself 3 months to get to India I started making videos to get people to contribute and I got enough money not enough.. It wasn’t what I asked for there was a big gap but I was willing to do
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what it took to make up the difference. I was able to get my ticket and find a house and they wanted to make a documentary on my journey for $500 I was able to get to India I had times when I was lonely and far away from home . I didn’t know anything that was going on it wasn’t like London when it was for 8 days this was different. Millions of people where wanting what I wanted and I had to believe in me and through the help of friends I was able to get a meeting with MTV. They liked me but I didn’t have a work VISA and I went back to Isreal and called India and I got in as the only foreigner who is from abroad this isn’t totally Bollywood for me because for me Bollywood is the movies and this is a GREAT accomplishment on my way to get to Bollywood.
Nisha Ray: Do you have plans to come to the States? Dana Vana: I would love to see the life in the States and see how the Jewish community is in the STATES.
Nisha Ray: Do you have fears? And if so what has caused you to push past them? Dana Vana: I do have fears I am fearful of roaches lol ..watching the movie limitless and reading the book the Alchemist has encouraged me to live beyond limits and to keep pushing yourself even when you are scared to keep challenging yourself get beyond fears and hang-ups. I had to overcome the fear of not knowing what is waiting for me … I had to get past uncertainty no one knew my name before I got there and I had to ask how would it be.. what would I do.. I don’t know how much money I have.. How will I make it? It was basically the unknown facing the unknown. I had to sit down and hear my mother and talking to her about being nervousness. My mother didn’t want me to go to India she wanted me to have a family in Isreal and to have a normal career and the life she wanted for me but when it came to my nervousness she told me it was natural and she told me to show everyone the warrior I am and I would do great and the world will see me. That alone made me feel more comfortable and confident.. Even if your mother doesn’t tell you this I believe that God will send you someone who will tell you at the right time and the right place. We are all capable of being limitless. If I am special we all are special and we all created by the same God.
Nisha Ray: Dana How has faith helped you? Dana Vana: Faith is absolutely important it is EVERYTHING if you do not activate your faith it is so challenging. My dreams are manifesting that I am in a good place. I like how things look these days. I like the energy and friends around me. Career wise I am closer to Bollywood and being an actress. Not just Bollywood but just being an actress however it happens. I am more relaxed because I know it is going to happen now so I am not rushing and I am enjoying the journey. There will always be something else to do if its career or family so I am more relaxed because I know my friends will all come true because I see everything that I want just coming to me right now. We have to watch out that we are not becoming a
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slave to our dreams that we are not focusing on just the dreams and losing sight of all the important things going on.
Nisha Ray: What is next for you? Dana Vana: The Next thing for Dana Vana is I am writing Scripts with Professional Writers so I can develop and act in my own movie while I auditions for other. I came back to Isreal so I can relax and not chase anything but just get refocused and take time for myself and family. I will be going back to India and practice my Hindi and meet with casting Directors. I am not sure about Hollywood. I have not figured out yet how to do this or if it is something that I should do. I love coaching teens and I am coaching people from all over the world on how to Live Limitless and how to go after their dreams.
Dana Vana : What I need to get to the Next Level : Good Question but I don’t have an answer because I think whatever it is will come to me maybe I need to practice more and put myself out there more and to be more humble and take smaller roles if I need to . So I guess the next level would be more enjoying the ride and being more playful and light.
Nisha Ray: What is the legacy you wish to leave behind?
Dana Vana: What Legacy would you leave behind? So many people are trying to walk after others like Tony Robbins, Dalia Lama, Buddha and so on but just because something worked for them doesn’t mean it will work for you so you have to make your own path and find your own way.
How can I readers get in touch with you?
www.DanaVana.com https://www.facebook.com/danavanatv
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The Real Diary of A Mad Black Woman By Nisha Ray
Have you seen the Tyler Perry Movie, “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”? In this movie Helen McCarter (Kimberly Elise) and her husband Charles (Steve Harris), an attorney, had it all: money, success, and a fine home. Their lives were perfect—but they only looked perfect to the public. Helen is unemployed and Charles has been having multiple affairs. On their 18th anniversary, Helen awakens to find all of her belongings packed in a U-Haul truck with Charles kicking her out of the house in favor of Brenda (Lisa Marcos), his young mistress, the mother of his two children. Fast forward and you will find Charles being shot by one of his clients and on life support. His mistress chooses to let him die and Helen rushes to his side and commits to nursing him back to health. During this process we watch Helen become bitter and vindictive. We don't agree with the torment she unleashes on Charles but we understand. We understand the pain and anger that can drive a woman to become so cruel and mean. I always wonder if I could be a better woman. I honestly can't say how I would react faced with this situation. For Darliana Rose the movie became her life story. Darliana had to make a decision if she would become bitter or if she would rise above the occasion.
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Nisha Ray: Who is Darlaina Rose? Darliana Rose: Darlaina Rose is many things. A mother, survivor, sister, daughter, ex-wife and friend to the end. I have lived my life for others and have now given notice that I am putting myself first. I am a woman of substance and many layers. I share my life story now with others. Sharing my life so transparently I hope to help others see that no matter how bad it is or how bad it gets (Les brown) you will still make it! I did!
Nisha Ray: You mentioned that you are the REAL "Diary of a Mad Black Woman", why do you relate with the movie?
Darliana Rose: I am the living, "Diary of the Mad Black Woman". Tyler Perry wrote the story, but I lived that life. I relate because she took care of a man that was not deserving of her time or love. So did I. I lived through a cheating mate. He cheated multiple times one time a baby resulted. We should I say I worked through that betrayal and I forgave him. It was for not, because a few years later at year 26 he said that he no longer wanted to be married any more. I was blind-sided by that. I knew things weren't
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perfect but I didn't think we were that bad. I decided to move out of our marital home. It was much to large for me to maintain alone. I purchased a smaller home for myself and my young daughter. 8 months after I moved out he called me and said that he was sick. I couldn't figure out why he would call me of all people. Long story short he was diagnosed with stage 4 Nose and throat cancer. I didn't want my children to bury their father. So I packed up moved back home and took care of him for 9 months. Losing everything in the process. We chose a very labor intensive holistic treatment called the Gerson Therapy. It was hard work. He was deemed cancer free August 2011.
Nisha Ray: In the movie she tormented him. After hearing what you've gone through I had to question myself and ask if I would have enough peace to not be a little spiteful or vindictive. How did you keep your peace? How keep from being vindictive, or bitter and not make his life a living hell for putting you through what he did?
Darliana Rose: She did torment him in the movie. My heart ached for what he had to endure. I felt that it was punishment enough to be faced with a terminal illness. He was sometimes so sad and said he was sorry for all that he did to me and our family as a whole. A few times there were incidents where his anger reared it's ugly head. Those were the times I depended on the support of family to get me through it. One of those times he smacked me in my lips and I forgot he was a cancer patient and smacked him back. Reflexes I guess. He fell straight down. I felt horrible. I was afraid that I had hurt him. However, The only thing that was hurt was his pride. We never had another incident after that one.
Nisha Ray: You nursed your ex-husband back to health how did you do it?
Darliana Rose: We decided on a holistic approach. We used the Gerson Therapy. A very labor intensive therapy. 35 herbs, high dose vitamin c was added, (not a part of the original therapy) 13 fresh pressed juices for every waking hour. We had a Norwalk juicer. It is a grind and press system. It grinds the fruits and veggies then pressed the grinded material with 500 lbs. of pressure. This removed every ounce of juice, enzymes and vitamins. Then a vegan diet, 5 raw coffee enemas day. They had to be prepared every morning from water I distilled every night. 3 hot baths a week. They consisted of water as hot as he can stand 35% peroxide added to the water. A thermometer on his head. Mary j Blige just fine on repeat and as many family members as I could get to sing and clap (we needed family to do that because he felt he was drifting away. He needed to know that he was still alive. side note: At night he asked me to hold his hand while he slept because he had dreams of him waving good bye. He felt that if I held his hand I could pull him back from dying in his sleep) while we covered his head with a hat then covering the tub with a yoga mats to hold in the heat. Once his body temperature reached 103 he was picked up by my son or cousin placed in a bed of cotton white sheets and white towels to dry him off. The entire house was transformed. No plastic anything even the fridge had cotton clothes and wooden baskets to hold the 75 lbs of fruits and vegetables we juiced weekly. No nonstick pots only stainless
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steel. A whole house filter was added because the largest body organ is skin. Chlorine from the shower was a risk. We had a alkaline water machine to help with alkalizing the body. I kept away all negative energy. Anybody that had beef with me or him could not bring that energy into the house. I didn't allow people to eat outside food in the house either. I ran a tight ship. Lol!
Nisha Ray: After your ex-husband recovered what happened with your realtionship? Did you reconcile?
Darliana Rose: We did not reconcile. He gave me the final divorce papers right after he was deemed cancer free. He told me later he divorced me because I hit him. I was devastated a second time.
Nisha Ray: So he left again..how did you deal with it the emotional rollercoaster of him leaving, coming back and you forgiving him and helping and then leaving again? Did you grow bitter this time?
Darliana Rose: It was very hard. I was too hurt to be bitter. I knew that bitterness would not hurt him only me. They say it’s like drinking poison and waiting for that person to die. When in reality they are living their life not thinking about you and your issues
Nisha Ray: What did you learn about yourself in the midst of the back in forth?
Darliana Rose: I learned that I was so forgiving sometimes to a fault not with just him but with everyone in my life. I learned that if I put myself and my feelings first that more than likely I could not be hurt so much by others.
Nisha Ray: One thing my grandmother always told us is never let anyone drive you crazy..... what are your keys of keeping your sanity in the midst of so much emotional turmoil?
Darliana Rose: In the midst of craziness, God is key! You must have a higher power working for you in your behalf. I can see God in all that turmoil. The bright spots in the people who came to me to offer kind words, prayers and thoughts. The folks who celebrated me when I couldn't celebrate myself.
Nisha Ray: Right now there is a woman reading your story who is going through a divorce and\or health issues and may even have to work with the person causing her emotional grief or trying to destroy her peace. What do you want to tell her?
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Darliana Rose: I would tell her to find peace in God. I would tell her to find a great friend. One that will provide her a no judgment safe space. If she doesn't have that. Then she needs a coach like me. She needs someone that will help her to see her life for what it is right now. Then help her to determine if she is satisfied with that space. If not then we can come up with a plan together to change it one baby step at a time. SUPPORT IS KEY! She must know and FEEL that she is not alone! Nisha Ray: What's next for you? Where is this journey taking you in life?
Darliana Rose: What's next/ wow so much is presenting itself. First things first I an cultivating a Coaching practice where I can help others like myself get to their greatest gifts. My speaking career is growing. I amazed that people want to hear my story of Love, betrayal and holistic health. I am completing my book of success principles. I have an inspirational t-shirt line and jewelry created from gratitude rocks. I am looking forward to the second half of my life with love and God's light. I am in my second half having just turned 50 feeling like 25 the sky truly is the limit for me.
Nisha Ray: What is the Legacy you are looking to leave behind?
Darliana Rose: I'm looking to leave a legacy of "Who said you have to be the same?! Be you! Be Different! Its OK! I want to leave a legacy that we do not have to live a life of scarcity and lack to be close to God. Godliness is not brokeness. Is that a word...I don't think it is but it is truly the state of being for too many people. I want to teach others to depend on their gifts to bring wealth. To not be afraid to just try! So far so good!
Nisha Ray: How can our readers connect with you?
Darliana Rose: Readers can Connect with me by email at info@darlainarose.com, my website www.darlainarose.com, on social media: Facebook Darlaina Rose, Instagram Darlaina Rose Twitter @lifecoachrose or Just call my office at 267-521-2001 Can I just say thank you so much for this opportunity to share. I am empowered to continue the work. Thank you so very much.
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The McBride Sisters: A Passion For Wine By Nisha Ray
Nisha Ray: What do you want people to think when they hear the names AndrĂŠa and Robin McBride?
Mcbride Sisters: We want them to think that if they can follow their dreams, so can I!
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Nisha Ray: You have an amazing story of being separated – can you share what discovering each other was like? Mcbride Sisters: Obviously, find out about each other and meeting for the first time was life changing and very emotional. Once we met, we felt like as long as we had each other - there was no stopping us!
Nisha Ray: What made you both decide to go into business together?
Mcbride Sisters: After connecting for the first time in 1999, we both discovered we each grew up in wine regions over 7,000 miles apart and appreciated the craft of winemaking. What started as a shared curiosity for wine became our true passion as we began a wine import business, and later, a sustainable wine company.
Nisha Ray: What were your biggest obstacles and how did you overcome them? McBride Sisters: Winemaking is traditionally dominated by men – both in the United States and abroad – so it has its challenges. We strive to bring a refreshing outlook to the industry by breaking the mold and letting our wines speak for themselves.
Nisha Ray: What is your legacy that you both want to leave behind? McBride Sisters: I think that we hope to leave a legacy of the power of the entrepreneurial spirit.
Nisha Ray: What do you want to do next with your Truvée label? Mcbride Sisters: Currently, our main focus is the successful launch of Truvée’s two varietals, our Chardonnay and Red Blend; however, we are always exploring new ways to bring additional tastes to life in the coming year so stay tuned!
Nisha Ray: What do you need to get there? Mcbride Sisters: Support from wine lovers and those curious about our wines! Lots of love will help us bring these two varietals and any future wines to everyone from coast to coast. Nisha Ray: Are you active in your community? If so, how do you give back?
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Mcbride Sisters: Yes, we actively participate in and support several non-profits and local organizations. Right now, we are both very excited that we are in a position to start mentoring young women and people of color who are ready to follow their dreams!
Nisha Ray: What tips would you give to other families or girlfriends who want to go into business together? Mcbride Sisters: Honestly, it may not be for everyone, our advice is to have the real hard talks before starting a venture with friends or family. For us, it’s a little different because we missed out on our childhoods together, but that means that we aren’t carrying any baggage either. You have to agree to be 100% honest, and agree to accept that honesty and do what’s best for the company.
Nisha Ray:
What have you learned about yourselves and each other from working together?
Mcbride Sisters: Family first, we're stronger than we thought and we're a great team.
Nisha Ray: What do you want to leave our readers with? McBride Sisters: Dream it, build a plan and don't ever let anyone or anything deter you from accomplishing your goals.
Nisha Ray: How can our readers purchase Truvee McBride Sisters: Focus on You readers can go to www.truveewines.com and click on the store locater to find their nearest store.
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I remember my mother and father sitting me down to deliver the news. The last time my parents had sat me down in such a fashion was to let me know that I was going to be a big sister. As a middle child, it wasn’t unusual for me to be out of the loop. I thought maybe that I was getting ready to learn that my parents were going on a trip or maybe, could it be? Another sibling? What my parents were about to divulge to me, would alter the course of how I was to view the world forever after that day. A part of my life, that eternal feeling of summer in the soul that you feel, as a child, was gone and so was my big sister. She was my idol, my friend, my tormentor (as any good big sister would be), the one who would let me sneak in her room when I was unable to sleep and who would let me sneak out of our parents camper on lake trips for secret late night stargazing. I wanted to be like her in every way. Maybe I should have told her. Maybe things wouldn’t have happened that way. My parents, hesitant to share the news, tried to break it to me easy. They were sure she was just with friends or that she was just being a teenager but I could hear the panic in their tone. I knew they were trying to convince themselves just as much as they were trying to convince me. The truth is, that my parents had no idea. In the days before cellphones and GPS systems, pictures on milk
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cartons and most certainly before social media campaigns of missing children, all they had to go on was the local rumor mill. Teachers, schoolmates, close friends, family, church kids and even all the old boyfriends were questioned. They felt that she had decided to leave with a new boy she had become acquainted with, but were not exactly sure and definitely didn’t know why. It was hard to get help form the authorities because it appeared she had chosen to leave. Law enforcement did their best but they were also at a loss. Truth is that it didn’t matter how or why she was gone, all that mattered now was where. Where was she? How could we find her? “Please, just come home…”
In the months following my sister’s disappearance, little was said. My parents didn’t want to talk to me about it. They thought it would only upset me more when all I wanted was someone to say something…anything. My sister was a true natural beauty with jet-black hair gifted to her courtesy of our Cherokee heritage, and green eyes from the Irish we also shared. What I really remember most was my sister’s room and like all big sisters, her room was super cool! Her room was exactly how you would picture the room of a 70’s teen to be. A rainbow of sunset colors, teenage heartthrob posters like dreamy David Cassidy and Andy Gibb along with a beautiful glass amber lantern in the corner over her bed and macramé plant hangers to add an earthy touch. She was a decorated pom-pom girl and she had her trophies displayed like Oscar Awards! She loved to sleep in her sleeping bag and I often would tease her about being a caterpillar in a cocoon. After my sister disappeared, I would often go into her room, crawl into her sleeping bag and close my eyes as if it were a time machine, in hopes that if I tucked myself away for long enough, I may awake wherever it was that she had gone. “Please, just come home…”
My Dad was a hustler of a man. Always on to the next big thing and the kind of person that could make it happen. Growing up poor, he wanted us to have more. Nothing, especially things like sleep and naysayers, could stop my Dad. He was gone a lot and I knew it was because he was taking care of us. He used to come home, no matter how late, and always make time to spend with his girls. It may have only been 30 minutes snuggling in his recliner through a sitcom or the Late Show but he wanted us to always know he loved my brother and us too. He became much more serious during that time. The light hearted man I once knew, for the first time, showed more signs of frustration and sadness than I had ever seen in him. Throughout my whole life, my Dad always had a quiet determination. I knew, just like I knew when my Dad left for work, that he was taking care of us, I also knew, somehow, through some means, that he was searching for her. I also knew he would never stop looking. “Please, just come home…”
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My mother was petite in stature but strong in will. She was quiet most of the time but not to be confused with demure. She had spirit about her. She had already seen hard days early in her life and though I know she wasn’t a stranger to tragedy, this was taking its toll. It truly is strange the things you can and can’t remember when you are going through a storm. I have to work to recall my exact age and I have to think hard to remember what was happening in the world. I don’t remember Christmas that year and I don’t know if we got snow. I can’t think of what I chose for an Easter dress though it was a tradition to go shopping with my mom for spring clothes and shoes and to pick out the dress. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. I knew enough to know that my parents knew she was alive. Of that, I was glad. It was only a few short years before that three young girls had gone missing at a Girl Scout Camp less than an hour away which resulted in me realizing two things: first, my mom was not ever going to allow me to be a girl scout, and that is something I wanted very much to be, and secondly, children could die. Until then, I was unaware. My mom became very protective after that incident. That was always confusing to me. I couldn’t understand how my sister could be missing when my parents were so careful after that incident. “Please, just come home…”
Probably the thing I do remember most vividly was the landline phone in the kitchen. We lived in a nice one-story home with a split-level and I can still remember when my parents purchased an extra long cord for the phone. In the months that my sister was gone, my mother would pace about the house, doing chores and rarely leaving. It wasn’t until I was older that I was able to understand why. Every time the phone rang, my mother would race across the house to answer it. Nothing was going to get in her way. My mother who stood all of five feet tall would leap over furniture and skid across the breakfast bar to reach the phone in hopes my sister was on the other end. Inevitably, she would hang up the phone and tears would well up in her eyes and she would melt into the floor, at the foot of the bar, in the corner. That is where she chose to release many of her tears. Sometimes she would sit in that corner, inconsolable, for hours. She was becoming more and more unreachable every time my sister wasn’t on the phone. As for me, I spent a lot of time playing with my baby brother. He was a joyful distraction to what otherwise seemed like a constant stabbing pang in the heart of my family. He was much younger than me and I latched on to him and made sure that he had a really good big sister, like I had, so that he would know how lucky I felt provided she never was to come back around. I had to carry the torch and I had to be strong. Everyone felt they had to be strong. But all we wanted was to see my sister’s face and have her home. “Please, just come home…”
Fall had turned to winter and winter had turned to spring and spring turned to summer and what seemed impossible to accept became our reality. We would hear rumors from time to time that she may be here or might have been spotted there. Nothing seemed to pan out. I remember sign-ups for church camp and all I could think of was how much I had wanted to be a Girl Scout. I was sure I was not going to be allowed to go because
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being away from the safety of my home was scary and I should have been very wary of these types of activities. I was a timid child and I still don’t know why I asked to go. I didn’t feel safe in my own bed much less away from my family. I asked to go anyway. I remember packing and having thoughts that were far more morbid than I knew my mind could conjure and I even tried to back out at the last minute. My parents were torn as to whether to let me go or to keep home. You see, that is always a situation when you are a parent of a missing child. How far do you allow the others to be away? As anguishing as it was for me, I am sure it had to be absolute hell on my parents. I mustered up the determination anyway. I made it through that week at camp. I even learned some really great things about God and about stuff I had wanted to learn as a Girl Scout. I learned to canoe and shoot arrows, but my favorite was working with the horses. I learned to groom, saddle and ride horses. It was a dream come true… until nighttime. I didn’t sleep much that week, but I did feel pride in my accomplishment of going to camp. When the church bus arrived back home, I felt it was a reunion like none I had ever known; but little did I know, it wasn’t the only reunion that I would have that day. As we pulled in the driveway, my parents told me that they needed to talk to me. It was a déjà vu. I was instantly very afraid. All I could think of was that if my sister were ok, she would have come with them to greet me upon my return from camp. What I was about to learn was that sometimes things can be good and bad all at the same time and there aren’t always answers to everything in life.
This time, I wasn’t the one waiting for my sister to come home; my sister was waiting for me. Almost a year later, my sister had come home! My dad had been searching and my mom had gotten the call. I ran in the house and on her bed, in her sleeping bag cocoon, lay my sister. She had been through a lot in the last year. That isn’t what was important now. What was important was that she just came home. My life has taken many twists and turns but now I help others whose family members have gone missing. I look for those that are lost; because to the ones who love them, all that really matters is that they just come home! Krista Pavey Private Investigator Investigative Reporter Owner, Tulsa K.O. Private Eyes, LLC www.tulsaprivateeyes.com www.spygirl.dotcom.com
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How to rock High Heels After attending a live talk last week end in London by Mr Red Sole himself Christian Louboutin, I have been inspired in writing a blog about how to rock those bad girls! Yes, how to walk in high heels. Ladies, there is a science to it believe me! You surely know that models have lessons where they learn to walk in heels so why shouldn’t we? After all, we are worthy of Louboutins too right? Why should you choose high heels in the first place? 1) They help you to stand up taller 2) You will look slimmer 3) You will feel more confident. Nevertheless, it can be a bit tricky to walk in high heels when you are a newbie but there is nothing a bit of practice will not fix. Soon you will be fearlessly rocking it a la Carrie Bradshaw! However, safety first and how to avoid shoepidity:
• Limit your heel frequency. • Always carry a pair of flats. • To find the right heel height for you, stand on your tip toe and •
then have someone measure the distance from your heel to the floor. That’s the height you should aim for. Invest in your shoes, your feet are worth it! 42
• Be confident in your heels Step 1: Improve your posture
The better your posture, the better your walk will be in your heels and the more comfortable you will be. If you're slouching and shuffling as you walk, it kind of defeats the purpose of wearing high heels in the first place—the aim is to look confident! To get the perfect posture follow these steps:
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Imagine you are carrying a book on top of your head or like a puppet which head is held upright by a string. Align your head and spine. Your chin should be parallel with the floor. Do not look down when walking in your heels. Christian Louboutin mentioned in his interview that nobody could walk in heels the way the showgirls at the Folies Bergere (link) do because they train for hours walking down the stairs without looking at their feet. maybe that is something you could try too. Put your shoulders back and down and keep your arms loose. Swing your arms slightly as you walk. Keep your core engaged; that’s your centre of gravity and will help you get grounded. Pull your belly button towards your spine and squeeze your pelvic floor. This will help your stand up straight while at the same time making your look thinner. Bend your knees slightly, they should never be locked when walking in heels. Keep your legs close together as you walk and point your toes directly ahead. Step 2 Can you stand your heels?
Not only do you need to learn how to walk in heels, but you should also be aware of how to stand in heels. It may sound simple, but many women just don't know what to do with their feet when posing for pictures or standing around chatting at an event. 44
This is where having comfortable shoes becomes very important, as you don't want to spend your evening shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. Sounds familiar? ◦
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To stand correctly in heels, stand with with the heel of one foot touching the middle of the other foot, while cocked at an angle from it. Put your weight on the toe of the foot in back, and as soon as that foot gets tired, switch feet so that your weight is on the other foot.
Step 3: Imagine walking down an invisible line or like a funambulist
Give some movement to your hips by slightly putting one feet in front of the other on top of that, you will look sexier. That’s why we love our heels right? 45
You should emulate the way funambulist walk on those tight ropes, pointing toes one foot directly in front of the other. It will take a little practice but believe it worth the effort. Nothing is more awkward than a woman trying to walk in heels when she can’t or is uncomfortable. Why not watch some fashion shows for inspiration? 1 Step 4: Take baby steps
Not literally but you know it will not feel natural at first. Just start by taking small steps slowly but surely making sure not to bend your knees more than you would normally do. Avoid taking big steps, high heels tend to reduce your stride and the higher the heels the shorter your steps will be at first. Just go with the flow. The comfortable you get, the sassier you’ll walk and soon you’ll be running in those heels! Step 5: From heel to toe
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We are trying to achieve a walk as natural to your natural walk but in high heels. Put your heel to the ground initially, followed by your toes. At that point, once your weight is on the balls of your feet, move your weight forward as though you're strolling on your tip toes, and push forward for the following step simply like you would do when you walk in your flats, you don't put the ball of your feet first.
Step 6: Practice wearing your heels indoors to break in
Wear your heels for a day around the house before you wear them out. This won't just permit you to get used to wearing them, yet it will likewise make scrapes on the base so that they're less slippery. It will also help you avoid a blister attack and stiffness plus the shoes will take the shape of your feet. Get used to every kind of surface you can possibly walk on. Try dancing in your shoes and last but not least, walking down the stairs.
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This is one aptitude you'll certainly need to ace, as stairs are the site of most high-heeled setbacks. Place your whole foot on every venture as you descend the steps, however just place the ball of your foot on every venture as you go up. Clutch that railing effortlessly, you know, just in case! Step 8: Wear your heels outside. Walking around heels inside is different to walking around them outside. You have more safety and support inside the house with the soft surfaces. When you walk outside, just make sure you stay away from uneven surfaces as they can be lethal to your shoes and yourself. Voila, you are a queen heel. Rock on!!
By Genevieve Muwana Fashion Editor
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PONO by Joan Goodman: How Art Imitates Life- The New York Life From the Hamptons to Brooklyn and Manhattan In and in Between A Museum Staple & Statement People often say that art imitates life. In the case of PONO that would be quite true for NY life -and all kinds of New Yorkers. Beyond its vast boutique business, Manhattan based jewelry brand, PONO by Joan Goodman, can now be purchased in over 30 museums nationwide. Three of these museums are in New York, in a trio of very uniquely fashionable locales. From the Parrish Art Museum in Watermill out east, to the Museum of Arts and Design on Manhattan’s Columbus Circle to the Brooklyn Museum, PONO has become a museum shop fixture. Made mostly of Italian resin, the colorful and often chunky statement necklaces and bracelets seem to excite everyone from mod and mature hamptonites to burgeoning, blogging brooklynites and other Apple dwellers in between. So what is the secret to its success in such venues? Franci Sagar, representative from the Museum of Art and Design has been carrying the line for six years and explains.
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“Our museum store customers want to connect with the artist and our goal is to build a bridge between the work and the customer. Joan Goodman is constantly pushing the limits with the materials she uses, always evolving her designs; coming up with new introductions that keep PONO fresh. Joan’s pieces celebrate the materials she uses which is important for our museum store customer, as celebration of materials is a part of the Museum’s mission. Customers are drawn to the positive energy in Joan’s pieces, as well as her clean shapes and color sense.”
PONO’s involvement with New York’s art community does not stop there, pieces from the collection can be seen on such forward New York filmed television series as the hipster HBO “Girls”, the defunct yet dashing “Lipstick Jungle”, and the ultra-elegant, “Good Wife”. In fact the connection to the latter was so strong that the series’ award winning costume designer, Daniel Lawson, is currently in his second season of collaboration with Joan Goodman on a capsule collection titled “DL for PONO”.
It is no mystery how New York plays so prominently in the pieces. Designer, Joan Goodman and her sister Barbara who leads operations at PONO are the quintessential New Yorkers. Yankee season ticket holders, frequent fixtures at the NY Ballet and avid museum goers. “PONO is truly art imitating our lives,” explains Goodman.
The newest museum to carry the brand is the Brooklyn Museum which will be hosting a trunk show for PONO by Joan Goodman on April 23rd. The event will coincide with the highly anticipated Basquiat: The Unknown Notebooks exhibition. “Our customer has come to see art, to experience culture and everything we do has to relate back to our collections and exhibitions,” explains Brooklyn Museum’s Michelle Beshaw. “PONO offers an abundance of opportunity to make those connections.”
Focus on YOU: What inspired you to not only start designing your own jewelry line but to make it into a profitable business?
Joan Goodman: I began designing jewelry as a fortunate offshoot to Bobbi Trim the family button business for which I worked and still work. About 12 or so years ago, much of the button manufacturing
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began moving overseas to China and beyond. With interest in our beautiful Made in Italy buttons and components becoming cost prohibitive, it was imperative for me to find a new outlet that would allow me to continue to enjoy working with the wonderful creatives and craftsman I had been collaborating with for years. Born of this passion was a jewelry company called PONO- the Hawaiian word for righteousness. With PONO I was able to use my knowledge of amazing, complex, Italian materials like resin and horn, and to develop a special line of jewelry in the same ethical and sustainable fashion we had been employing for years.
Focus on You: Why do they feel it is important for other women to find their passion?
Joan Goodman: In all honesty, it is imperative that all people find their passion. I believe that if we all did so, the world would be a more peaceful place. In this day in age, we are experiencing so much unrest, this sense of peace and self-understanding has never been more critical.
Focus on You: What legacy do they want to leave behind?
Joan Goodman: I would hope that I created an awareness about the importance of caring for our planet‌ beyond what I am capable of doing myself-and that I had an influence on making others think more consciously. I believe that all beautiful things come from love, kindness and compassion, and treating our planet with the same respect is critical to our success here. The truth of the matter is that if we don’t have a healthy planet, we will not be able to experience health, or love or joy.
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! T I E C FA _________________________________ Step By Step Instructions to transform your look for a more beautiful you! _________________________________ Let’s face it, all we really want to do is look our best. Not everyone can afford to go and spend their hard earned money on ridiculously priced skin treatments and plastic surgery. Those that can are extremely fortunate, but most of us are just trying to live comfortably and keep the bills paid (let the church say AMEN and cue the choir director). So just how do you achieve a polished high fashion look on a frumpy budget? I’m glad you asked! Sit back, release your insecurities, and enjoy the read because the Beauty Oracle will give you the answers that you seek! The oracle wants you to know that it is important to first understand that true beauty is an inside job. The perfect complement to any look is a winning attitude. We’ve all run into that woman with the perfectly beat face that we wanted to beat up; not a good look. So let’s not mask a shady personality underneath foundation and try to blend it in. No one looks good that way. Elevate your sisters, celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage each other because a pleasant demeanor is the true mark of beauty.
Step 1- Fresh Face Oily skin responds well to gel based or foamy cleansers. They don’t contain the emollients which can exacerbate sebum
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production, and they are great at washing away excess oil. Dry skin, is the type that responds best to the creamy emollient rich cleansers, especially those containing hyaluronic acid and/or glycerin, as they are quite helpful in adding the much needed moisture that thirsty dry skin needs. Women who have sensitive skin should look for fragrance free cleansers that contain glycerin as well, as it gently gives the skin the right amount of moisture without causing irritation. The normal skinned ladies are at a real advantage because they can use a wide range of cleansers without much of an issue. Ladies in the 30+ crowd who are starting to see signs of more mature skin emerging can benefit well from cleansers that contain alpha hydroxy acids because the acids help to keep fine lines and wrinkles at bay. Once you’ve properly cleansed the face (remember to pat dry, not rub), follow with a good moisturizer that contains sunscreen and is specially formulated for your skin type. Following these tips will prepare your skin for a flawless makeup application. Step 2- Primarily Speaking Now that we have prepped the skin we are ready to begin our journey to Flawlessville. After you’ve given the skin some time to absorb the moisturizer, you’re ready to prime your face for makeup application. The purpose of primer is to smooth out the texture of the face and make your foundation appear smooth. Primers come in a nice range of options that tackle common problems like oil control, pore minimizing, and “blurring” which helps a lot in hiding minimal discolorations. Primers also come in a wide range of prices to fit every budget, but in some cases, you get what you pay for so it may be wise for you to treat your skin like an investment. The thing to remember with primers is that you want them to work well with your foundation, so if you choose a water based primer you don’t want to mix it with an oil based foundation if flawlessness is your goal.
Step 3- Foundational Truths Foundations are designed to improve and even out the overall look of the skin, and serve as the anchor to which your color products stick. This is a crucial stop on your way to Flawlessville. Foundation can make a world of difference in how you look; which will in turn make a world of difference in how you feel. When choosing a foundation take into account your budget, your skin color, your undertones, as well as your skin type. Many women of color tend to be lighter towards the middle of the face and darker around the edges of the face, and it is not uncommon for makeup artists to use 2 different foundation colors to get a perfect match for these areas.
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Foundation formulas can be found in powder, liquid, and cream with varying degrees of coverage. For women with normal skin and little to no flaws, the rest of the world hates you! Relax, I’m just joking, we actually love and appreciate the beauty that you add to the world with little effort, and the rest of us strive to make our skin appear like yours. You are the ladies that opt for light coverage, just a little dab will do because you don’t need much. Products like Makeup Forever, MAC, and Revlon, offer so many options for you. The makeup section of any store is your oyster! For those with discolorations, we have to put a little extra work into our routines but can achieve the same results.
Calling all of my sisters out there with multiple areas of hyperpigmentation! Should you decide to wage war with us and help us take over Flawlessville so that we can rule the kingdom right alongside of our normal skinned sisters without anyone being able to tell the difference, keep reading you’re almost there! We benefit well from cream foundations and thicker formulas that cover well but do not make us look like we have a ton of gook piled up on our faces. Cream based formulas are easy to work with on the skin, and they can be customized to any level of thickness that we need just by mixing them with a bit of our favorite moisturizer. You can even apply them directly to the skin with a damp cosmetic wedge or blending sponge for amazing results! If you’re on a budget, try Ruby Kisses 3D Face Creator it comes in a convenient compact with 2 shades and gives you a great amount of product at a very low price. My olive skinned, sisters may be able to find shades for themselves with this line as well. Black Opal foundation sticks are an oldie but goodie for women of deeper color, and are available at most beauty supply stores and online. Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse is another foundation that offers really good coverage at a nice price. If you’ve got a bit more cash to invest; products like Dermablend, can be found in department stores, and Sheer Cover or Cover FX are wonderful options as well. If you prefer a foundation that has a great consistency right out of the bottle, head over to Sephora and try out my latest obsession, Kat Von D’s “Lock it” foundation. It covers so well that I barely need concealer at all (although they make a great one). And best of all, it stays put, lasts for hours and doesn’t break me out. I have super oily skin and once this foundation is set, I only need to blot once or twice a day. Oh, and it’s a great choice for hot and sunny climates! Powder foundations could be a really great option for us too. They offer buildable coverage so we can decide how much we need and when and where we need it. Oh, and don’t forget to set your makeup. There are a plethora of setting powders and sprays available almost everywhere nowadays. Okay now let’s make a right on Concealer Drive and pull over for a bit. Ladies, we need to chat, too many of you are opting to skip the concealer and go straight to the foundation and then wondering
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why your makeup never looks as good as ….(insert beat face name here). What’s the issue? Are you scared of concealer? Are you unsure of how to use it? Pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you. Are you ready? Ok, here it is…CONCEALER IS YOUR FRIEND! It’s was invented by the benevolent makeup fairy godmothers and sent as a little tubes and pots of love just for you. The oracles’ message to you is, if you need it, USE it! I won’t call any names, but you know who you are and so do we. We can all see it. Concealer is applied differently depending on what you want to conceal. For under eye circles try a concealer with a lifting agent like Vitamin A, it may not settle into the fine lines under the eye as much as the other concealers. Concealers with a liquid consistency are easy to use in this area of the face as they do not require as much pulling and tugging of the delicate skin under the eyes. But for spot and scar correction, you may want to get a hold of a cream concealer and dab a bit of it just on the spot or scar only. If you prefer cream or liquid foundation, apply your concealer on top of the foundation. In many cases the foundation will cover some imperfections and reveal exactly where you need concealer the most. If you choose a foundation with a powder finish like a liquid- to- powder, or mineral powder foundation, use the concealer first so that it doesn’t interfere with your flawless finish. Try using a damp sponge, dipped in setting powder to set The general rule for color matching concealer is that concealer should be 1 -3 shades lighter than your foundation. Please remember to consult a professional to get the best suggestions for your skin. Knowledgeable makeup artists can be found at makeup counters in almost every department store. It is always a good idea to ask questions, after all, this is your first impression we are talking about. No matter what concealer you use you must carefully blend the concealer into the surrounding skin for a seamless look. Ok, we can now continue our journey.
Step 4-Icing on the cake Your look should now be ready for finishing touches. For the no makeup look, keep it simple, line the eyes with soft smudged liner instead of harsh lines like the ones most frequently made with liquids and gel liners, and skip the jet black cat eye. Instead, use natural looking lashes that extend at the ends to create the cat eyed effect. Please do not choose the lashes that will allow you to fan the Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt; they really don’t look nice with the no makeup look. And remember to make sure that your mascara is free of clumps. I love Rimmel’s Lash Accelerator for the budget beauties, Benefit’s “They’re Real”, and Kevyn Aucoin’s The Essential Mascara for the beauty investors and those who love the opulence.
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Swipe a hint of blush on your cheekbones to give the face warmth. Not enough to look like you’ve been slapped in a cat fight, but just enough to bring balance and a soft pretty look to the face. Low cost brand Nicka K makes really pretty blush mosaics that give you the choice of sweeping on a mixture of colors at once or selecting one color to work with. MAC and NARS also make great long lasting cheek color in an array of shades.
Moisturize the lips well, and leave the crust to Pizza Hut. Add a nice color that works well with your overall look or keep the lips neutral. There are so many fantastic lip products out there to choose from and I will be highlighting all of my must haves and telling you how to get them in the future so stay tuned! Welcome to Flawlessville, ladies. You look amazing!
By Chelle Dunmeyer Beauty Editor VP of Operations
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When I hear the word union I think of how two people come together, and become one. Close your eyes and remember that very moment when you fell in love with your spouse for the first time. Ask yourself what has my marriage survived? Often times we give up to easy on the person we promised to stay with through everything. Many people don’t make it through the times that were meant to test their union. The day you say I do is also the day that union becomes under attack. If you don’t have the word than you have no shield of faith to protect this union daily. If you leave a crack in a window a burglar will eventually find their way in. This is how marriage works if you don’t work together Satan finds his way in. Try to seek out help when you and your spouse are going through hard times. Marriage seminars, retreats, family trips, and marriage counseling are very helpful examples of rebuilding a shaky foundation. Over time you grow with each other. You have to accept a person for who they are before you get married, because what is a relationship if all your energy is spent on trying to change your spouse? When dealing with people outside your relationship you have to learn that you can’t trust the intentions of others. Letting go is a very important concept. When you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with others will try to get between that, and that’s when you have to just let those people go. Being transparent with your spouse allows one another to be open. Every couple has their story, and Dayle Perry goes back in time when he first laid eyes on the women that would open his heart forever. Dayle and Brenda Perry dated for seven years before they officially decided to get married. Growing up together gave the Perry’s a chance to form the greatest friendship that was built on trust, and love. Working full time jobs the Perry’s are also Pastor and First Lady of Greater Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Houston, TX. It’s been 38 years since they walked down the aisle, and now 4 children, and 6 grandchildren later they are still succeeding at keeping their marriage together. Pastor Perry agrees that his marriage has changed him by becoming
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more of a man, a great father, and growing gracefully into a good grandfather as well. “Marriage has really made me have the care and concern for family,” says Pastor Dayle Perry. A “Union Unbroken” doesn’t mean that the marriage is perfect by any means, but that everything meant to break the two apart has actually made them closer. Often time’s people like to uphold the image instead of keeping the flame lite. The Gibbs family has been through a lot, but have weathered through their storms. After being married for twelve years, and dating for 3 they can testify that love, patience, strength, prayer, and being honest has gotten them this far. Over the first few years of Clarice and James Gibbs relationship things had started to become pretty rocky even before saying “I do.” James met Clarice through a mutual friend while at a college graduation party, and they hit it off so quickly. “What got me was that smile, and a connection I’d never experienced before,” said Clarice. We talked about everything, and spent hours up on the phone each night. Going into the second year sex only complicated everything much more. The two of them agree they needed to grow up in a lot of areas, and learn how to communicate a lot better, but the end of that third year Clarice found out she was pregnant. This baby changed the dynamic of their relationship all at once. Honestly Clarice says “James had recently been secretly seeing someone”, and this broke her trust for him. She couldn’t make a decision on exactly what to do, and her beliefs ruled out abortion completely. A few months into the pregnancy Clarice lost the baby to a miscarriage, and James was more than supportive. Clarice decided to focus on her plate. There was so many sleepless nights that I cried, and fell into a hole nobody could understand. One night I asked God to reveal to me in complete detail if this was the man for me, and to give me the strength to get through our loss. “The next day I got my answer so clearly,” said Clarice. During the hardest times I kept busy, and took up some more classes to throw myself into focusing on me. James sat down with me one day to talk, which was the decision that would change their lives forever. Mr. Gibbs describes how he knew he had to fight for Clarice, but didn’t know how he could fix his wrongs, or losing the baby. Rebuilding trust took some time, but James showed his love through actions. He proposed, and shortly after marrying Clarice he bought their first home in a city outside of their hometown. They named their unborn baby Hope, and visit her often. The love for Hope made us invest so much into the 4 kids we had in the years after marriage. One thing you can’t do is erase the wrongs, or forget the hard times. You have to embrace them, and make each day count, Clarice says smiling. The Smith’s advice to married couples, and couples planning to get married is to make sure you can agree to disagree, and have your spouse’s back through every vowel. Know your vowels, and mean them when you speak them out loud because things happen, but you can make it if you hold strong together.
By Latoya Lewis Relationship Editor
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ADHD - Is it a Real Epidemic or Misdiagnosed? "I remember in school feelings of frustration and embarrassment from not being prepared with homework to not being able to solve a problem or answer a question from a lesson that was just taught in class. I remember getting picked on by kids in my class, ridiculed and laughed at, which compiled with
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my own insecurities of not understanding why I could not "get it" as easy as other kids in my class and the mockery that came from others who were too young to understand my struggles left me dreading the thought of school. I remember asking for help because I didn't comprehend the lesson or the instructions that I read countless times for myself; I could read but didn't comprehend what I was reading. Long nights at the dining room table, going to bed at 11:00 on a school night, being fussed at, plenty of punishments, failing grades.... I remember the tears! Then I remember the day my feelings of inadequacy didn't quite disappear but someone finally understood me. That was the day that I was diagnosed with ADHD. I was 9 and in the 5th grade. I still struggled and had really bad days but I was far from stupid (actually have a very high I.Q) but my teachers and mother now had a little more patience. They gave me a little more time, they didn't think I was being disobedient anymore. I was still the same kid, just needed a little more guidance than others. Then, when I grew older I remember thinking was it really ADHD or was it just an excuse for me???" Did you know according to the CDC that 6.4 million children between the ages of 4-17 have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder? The number of kids diagnosed each year continues to rise at approximately 16% since 2007 and 41% in the last decade. So what has changed? Is it a lack of parenting, overstimulation, or a misdiagnosed medical condition? No matter what the cause, it is time to step back to take a closer look, as our children are being diagnosed at alarming rates. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is defined as a chronic condition including difficulty with attention, hyperactivity and/or impulsiveness – ADHD is typically found more often in males; whereas, ADD is found more often in females. There are no definitive tests to determine if a child has ADHD/ADD which makes it easy to be misdiagnosed. To diagnose there are several steps that are taken which includes gathering data from multiple sources. Typically a child is diagnosed after they have shown six or more specific symptoms of inattention or hyperactivity regularly for more than six months. 3 different type of ADHD in children – as defined on WebMD.Com are: Combined type (inattentive/hyperactive/impulsive) -Children with this type of ADHD show all three symptoms. This is the most common form of ADHD. Hyperactive/impulsive type. Children show both hyperactive and impulsive behavior, but for the most part, they are able to pay attention. Inattentive type. Formerly called attention deficit disorder (ADD). These children are not overly active. They do not disrupt the classroom or other activities, so their symptoms might not be noticed. Treatment for ADHD includes behavior modification and medication. It is believed that children treated with the combination of both do better than when treated with one alone. Numerous theories have been presented as to what actually has caused the continued increase of diagnosed children. It is imperative that parents advocate on behalf of their children and look into ruling out all possible issues prior to accepting a diagnosis. There are approximately 20 different conditions that mimic ADHD: Hypoglycemia, Allergies, Learning Disabilities, Hyper – or Hypothyroidism, Hearing/Vision Issue, Lead poisoning, Diabetes, Heart Disease, Anemia, Bipolar Disorder, Spinal Problems, Toxin Overload, Metabolic Disorders, Sleeping issues, Infection, Diet, Prescription Medication,
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Brain disorders, Intestinal Imbalance, and Lack of Exercise. In addition to these illnesses there is a thought that relaxed parenting and overstimulation has contributed to the rise of diagnosed cases. Nowadays most children often have access to the latest technology - video games, cell phones, and the internet. They spend countless hours mesmerized by the ever-changing advances in graphic design and ability offered by these devices and too often they are used as a babysitting tools. It is thought that this type of overstimulation can cause a lack of attentiveness and make it hard for a child to focus on particular task that are not presented in this manner. It takes away from time that could be spent concentrating on school work, spending time with family, and learning how to interact with people. Another issue thought to contribute to a misdiagnosis of ADHD is inconsistencies in parenting. For example, lack of discipline leads to children acting out, exhibiting impulsive behaviors and rebelling if they don’t get their desired results. This is an outcome of children who does not receive consequences or when parents are not consistent with following through. Idle threats are viewed as such and as a result teach children that they can get away with inappropriate conduct. Behavior modification is a good resource to correct this type of deportment; however, the modification is in the parenting style which in turn will work to correct inappropriate behaviors of a child. I spoke with Rosanne Murray a License Professional Counselor and Certified K-12 School Counselor states that some parents these days don’t teach their children to manage frustration and are sometimes too quick to rush to their child’s defense. Previously, children were held to consequences and now have more rights than before. However, she believes that while some children may be affected by misdiagnosis that a lot of them exhibit signs of ADHD and that most diagnosis are valid as professionals are held to a strict guidelines when analyzing children. She goes on to state that it is a continual process that incorporates the child’s medical history, teacher and parent interviews, and a series of questions and observations. Ms. Murray believes after a child is diagnosed it is unfortunate that getting a child with ADHD help (in a small percentage of household)it is complicated when parents receive disability for their child as the resources are not always used to get the child help but is incorporated into the household so that parents can survive. Because the additional funds are beneficial to have, there may be lowered desire and/or conflict with regards to fixing the issue and believes that this definitely sends the wrong message. Ms. Murray added that parents should seek additional help with resources but encourages them to utilize the assistance to ensure that their child receives the treatment that is needed to assist with minimizing the effects of ADHD. She encourages parents to know their rights and understand federal laws in place to protect their children from discrimination or limited resources in their schools. Not all children are misdiagnosed with ADHD; however, something definitely has changed. It is time to take action, time for us to educate ourselves about what ADHD and modify our behaviors because “our” inattentiveness to all of the many factors that may contribute to children’s ability to learn may be affecting our children’s futures. Take it from a child who suffered and an adult that lives with ADHD - That child is me! For more information on ADHD and federal regulations please visit: http://www.parentcenterhub.org/repository/idea/ http://www2.ed.gov/policy/elsec/leg/esea02/index.html http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml Parents should seek assistance on how to effectively cope with children with ADHD. Please seek the services of a licensed professional or find a support group in your area.
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Imago Life Counseling 160 South Progress Ave Suite 1C Harrisburg, PA 17109 http://www.imagolifecounseling.com/ This article is dedicated to my mother Gloria J. McFadden - she chose not to have me medicated but chose to work towards an alternate solution. While her decision may not work for everyone, it worked for me! While I still struggle with ADHD as an adult I am able to identify my behaviors and work to focus and stay on track. Not everyone that knows me knows that I deal with the effects of ADHD everyday - but where there’s a will, there’s a way! If only she could see me now.....
Images: http://www.shamokindamhealthcenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/ADHD-300x231.jpg
By Noelle McFadden Health and Wellness Editor
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Art of Seduction: Making Your Bedroom Your Own Private Playhouse
Often times women who have a lot to take care of on a day to day basis start to ignore their own needs for intimacy with their spouse. Here are a few simple tips on how to make your bedroom your own playhouse. These tips will have your bedroom transformed in no time! After putting them into action your spouse will come crawling
back for more. Demand quality time outings at least twice a month, and make sure you’re having sex more than twice a week. This night starts way before the sun goes down, and once he’s home take control. Get your spouse worked up throughout the day by sending sexy pictures, messages of how you can’t wait to see him. Unleash your inner freak. Candles, drapes, and rose petals will set a tone as soon as he walks in. If you’re trying things out for the first time you might want to blind fold him before you transform into your role play outfit. Your husband needs to see your confidence despite your insecurities. Strip teasing is a very seductive mood setter. Make sure you pull out all the stops by making him scream for more. Live your fantasy whether it’s making a sex tape, tying him up, having sex on the beach, or just switching up your positions. If you want to record a strip tease and send it to your partner before he gets home this will definitely have you on his mind all
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day. Submit yourself whole heartedly to your man, and make him feel like every desire he needs met can happen in your bedroom. Most men wander outside the home for something that his spouse is more than capable of performing for him. Be open minded but also take things into your own hands so that whatever role play, toy, or setting you have is at your control. Being comfortable is always important so plan ahead, but add spontaneous adventures during the moment. Women have the ability to meet every need a man has, but lack the tools to do so. Depending on what your partner is into at least five of these eight tips can come in handy in the bedroom. When your partner enters the bedroom he should feel like he’s went into another dimension. The goal is always challenge yourself little by little one week it could be a small strip tease dance routine, and another week a more romantic session with candles. Anything you don’t know much about you can learn the basics especially strip teasing for your spouse. With technology one of the good things is having access to YouTube, because most people are visual learners. Opening up your mind, and bringing new things to the bedroom keeps your spouse happy, and let’s not forget yourself. The bedroom is not supposed to become the dungeon it’s supposed to be your playground, and anything goes. Set reasonable rules, and make sure you both are comfortable with whatever limits you set. One night drop the kids off with the babysitter, and open your home to endless possibilities when able to. Sex can become so fun once you stop limiting it. One of the most popular toys for the bedroom is the bullet which is a small vibrator that stimulates the clitoris. Using this can also expand sessions with your partner if you can’t go past one or two orgasms. Keep in mind while using sex toys that these can become addictive.
Ladies let’s be honest! Women to women what did you do at the beginning that intrigued your man so much that you won him over? Whether it was keeping up with your daily looks, or taking him on the ride of his life. What are you doing differently now? Victoria Smith has been married for six years, and she found herself in a deep depression after her second child last year. One thing women are faced with is the world’s perception of them having to be small to be attractive to their men. How do you balance your life when faced with depression, weight gain, and low sex drive? Victoria didn’t have all the answers, but with her own experience she shares what worked. Mrs. Smith finally found a way to reach her peak, and come out of the slums. It’s very hard to go through an emotional breakdown after such a beautiful moment like giving birth. When I looked in the mirror all I could do was cry, and when my husband would want sex I would do the basic routines afraid that I was no longer sexy to him. He encouraged me daily, and it did help me through, but overall I was stuck in my head. When you have a toddler running around, and a baby who needs nursing every two to three hours it’s hard to manage your sex life. After seeing my doctor I started my healthy way of living plan. There was no way I could just let this get the best of me, and I wanted to improve my health. I started a pole dancing class that gave me the chance to get sexy, have time alone, and improve on some new skills for the bedroom. My muscles weren’t the same, and kugels helped me daily. Your body changes drastically after having a
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baby, but you have to choose your results. So after I started seeing results I went out, and got my own pole for the bedroom. After my mom came by and got the kids for the weekend I decided I was going to make it a routine to put aside time for my husband, and this new found self-esteem I had. I went to the sex shop looking for the perfect role play outfits showing as much skin as possible. I wasn’t perfect, but exposing my favorite areas boosted my confidence even more. My husband was scheduled to arrive so I had the pole set up in our room, along with his favorite desert. This night was going to be spontaneous, and while I was standing in my sexy maid outfit cooking he opened the door. I went into immediate role play letting him know his wife was out, but I was going to be taking care of every need he had this weekend. I had took some very sexy photos that week, and placed them on the floor leading to the bedroom for our desert session. He was so intrigued, and I had to take control not allowing him to pounce on me until I gave him everything a man could ever desire. As I pleasured him in the kitchen he couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. I felt so good, and I never knew adding some spice could light a fire in me I never knew I had. After I washed him up I told him to follow the clues, and I’d be right in. The candles lite his way as he gasped at each photos intensity. I used our pod camera to take images that would prepare him for my next role play character Magic, and she knew how to make fantasies real. I changed, and freshened up my make-up. I looked in the mirror not even believing this was me, but I was hot, and these long black boots complimented my legs a lot. I put on my wig, and proceeded to the bedroom where I showed off my pole skills to seductive tunes while he sat in disbelief. The feeling gave me a high that was unimaginable than ever. As I gave him a lap dance I blind folded him while feeding him fruits, whipped cream, which later turned into a sex session we both enjoyed. We used positions I looked up that were different, never doing one position more than twice. Our weekend put the passion back in our marriage, and emotionally we were able to be more open. When you are going through a hard time with your self-image, or emotions try to seek help through counseling, exercising, writing, and constantly communicating with your spouse.
By Latoya Lewis Relationship Editor
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In Focus Fierce and Fabulous All Summer Long! Summer is upon us and let’s face it, no one wants to be caught looking like they belong to the “run amuck” club. So here are some tips that will keep you looking like you just stepped off the Paris runway no matter where you are.
Muy Caliente’! What makes this summer’s trends so hot is the fact that they allow you to be just that; uniquely you! The looks that worked the runway at New York’s Fashion Week for this season were all about individuality. Over and over again, top designers like Givenchy, Marc Jacobs, and Roberto Cavalli, turned to the natural face as the perfect complement to their unparalleled genius. For now, the days of over-contoured, super structured sprayed on faces are gone. The era of the natural beauty has returned! Many of the looks this season featured no makeup at all, just clean canvased glowing skin; and those that did include pops of color made sure to compliment the face with simple strokes of well-placed hues of all this summer’s hottest colors which included various shades of purples, blues, greens, oranges and rustic browns. So ladies, make sure to stay hydrated, and enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables that are in this season, because we all know that true beauty begins beneath the surface, the glow comes from within! And on the outside, a good moisturizer and a
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broad spectrum sunscreen of SPF of 15 or higher will protect your skin from the harmful rays of the sun.
The emphasis for this season was placed on the” windows of the soul” and can easily be obtained by using your favorite eyeliners. Use them to sweep and smudge trendy shades of greens across the lash line to bring out beautiful brown eyes and accentuate the eye shape. Or if you prefer to stick with black, playfully extend the length and thickness of the line at each eye’s outer corner. Eyeshadows, when seen, were soft and smoky, and the single color looks dominated the runway so if you are one of the beauties who struggles with knowing which color to place where…don’t fret! This season you are totally free, hooray!
Cheek colors were kept muted and in line with the natural skin color, with only a hint of color to accentuate the cheekbones. Peach tones for lighter skin, and warmer orangey tones or shades of brick can be lightly dusted on to bring a soft daytime glow to darker skin tones, Illuminators, highlighters, and bronzers can still be used, but keep in mind, less is more and do not make the mistake of putting them in the wrong place, the result of this can be disastrous!
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Illuminators are products that are designed to give your skin radiance. They are usually in liquid form, contain shimmer particles, and can be mixed with moisturizers and foundation to give the skin a healthy glow. Highlighters also contain shimmer particles in many instances, and are normally used to give the face dimension. They are most often placed on the raised areas of the face such as the brow bones or bridge of the nose. Bronzers are used to give a sun kissed glow and are most often applied in smooth strokes along the cheekbones. These products can be wonderful additions to many looks but should be used with subtlety. The lips can be soft or bold this time around, so this is where your creativity can really shine. You may want to show the world, your freshly moisturized natural pout, or elect for a more polished look with a complimentary shade of lipstick and a touch of gloss, If you’re a siren you may want to opt for the show stopping ultimate red lip which is inching its way into a massive comeback! Lip liner is optional, just remember that it should complement, not contrast with your lip color, Whatever you choose, make sure that the goal is to achieve harmony on the face and you will undoubtedly be a force to be reckoned with!
By Chelle Dunmeyer Beauty Editor VP of Operations
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