Counselling Conversations - Julie Thomas

The need to affiliate with and be accepted by a group involves more than simply being acquainted with other people. Belonging concentrates on gaining acceptance, attention, and support from members of the group as well as it being reciprocated. Groups studied through a social psychology lens, such as sporting, friendships, and political groups are defined by traditions of common traits, language, culture, and ideology. The thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of individuals influence each other, as people strive to conform to the standards and norms of the group. Norms are standards of behaviours that group members are expected to display. Norms can also extend to a range of group behaviours such as greetings, handshakes, dress codes, and language. These are often unspoken rules and rituals that drive an individual’s behaviour. Groups are identified as a cohort of individuals who share certain beliefs or characteristics. This definition includes groups such as your neighbourhood, city, or town, and smaller groups like the family unit. The observable actions of a group make up the definition of group behaviour. For example, how and why do some groups act out of a collective sense of kindness, inclusion, and acceptance, while others seem motivated by prejudice, exclusion, and violence? An understanding of group behaviour helps explain why individuals might make certain decisions under the influence of a group, a decision they would not have made alone. This kind of personality change is based on group membership and belongingness. Belongingness refers to a fundamental human emotional need to be accepted by others. The need to belong can lead to changes in behaviours, and attitudes. Belongingness comes from a perception of quality, meaning, and satisfaction with social connections. A sense of belonging can also relate to a special place or a life event. It is therefore a complex and dynamic process unique to each person. However, an absence of belonging has negative effects on people, both physically and psychologically.

The motivation to seek out specific groups is the need to belong to certain social groups that share some point of commonality. For example, teenagers who share the same taste in clothing, music, and other common interests. Other factors that can lead individuals to seek out groups include pop culture interests, shared goals, socioeconomic status, and religious beliefs. People often present themselves in a particular way to belong to a specific social group and compare themselves to other members of the group to determine how well they fit in. This social comparison might lead an individual to adopt some of the same behaviours and attitudes of the group’s most prominent members to gain greater acceptance whilst conforming their behaviour.

The need to belong prompts and motivates us to seek out stable connections and relationships with others. Studies have found a positive link between a sense of belonging and greater happiness and overall well-being, as well as an overall reduction in mental health outcomes.

There are steps you can take to increase a sense of belonging; these do take effort. Seek out activities with people who have common interests and engage with others. Be patient, as it might take time to gain acceptance, attention, and support from the group. Practice unconditional self-acceptance and self-love. Focus on the similarities that connect you to others, remain non-judgemental, and be open to new ways of thinking. Start your inner healing work to achieve a sense of belonging. Seek counselling to help you identify and become aware of behaviours, relationships, or mindsets that need changing. Remember you are worthy of love and acceptance. Belonging is feeling secure and supported when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and sense of identity. It is when you can bring your authentic self to all areas of your life. Julie Thomas MCouns, BPsychSC, BEd(ECTeach) Member of the Australian Counselling Association Member of WPATH, AUSPATH

with JULIE THOMAS

FROM BEYOND THE SURFACE COUNSELLING

Munro Group McDonald's

Polding PSSA Cricket State Champion 2019. Under 14’S State Challenge 2021. Under 14’S State Challenge 2022. North Coast Cricket Council Representative 2018. -2022. Nambucca Valley Inter-district Representative 2018 - 2022. North Coastal Zone Academy Fairfield Liverpool Green Sheild U 16’S 2022 - 2023.

Quinn loves his cricket and has trained hard to make his achievements possible. Quinn will be travelling to Sydney for training in the lead up to the competition in this seasons Green Sheild Competition. We will have a lot of fuel and accommodation costs to cover. Any help from your company would be greatly appreciated.

Quinn’s goal is to get himself established in a Sydney team. As he gets older he hopes to play 1st grade in Sydney and representative teams.

My Coaches.

Coffs Harbour • Kempsey • Nambucca • Grafton

Senior marketing specialist, Rhonda Locke has worked for companies such as Australia Post, The Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority and Japan Airlines and has channelled that experience into launching her own business - Price Attack Hair and Beauty, in Toormina Gardens. Melbourne’s harsh pandemic conditions were the catalyst for Rhonda’s sea change last year. “Lockdown made me realise it was time to revisit what was important to me, and my son and I moved here to start afresh, including settling down with a long-term love and becoming part of this wonderful Coffs Coast community,” Rhonda said. “I love hair and beauty and want women and men to have the opportunity to look and feel their best. With the benefit of bulk buying power, we stock the largest range of professional hair care products in the district, and we’ll have a hair and beauty salon instore.”

Visit us for all your haircare needs & more.

We are located near Woolworths!

SJPC has officially opened their new LIBRARY LEARNING CENTRE AND OTHER BUILDINGS. WE SPEAK TO SHARON BRENNAN the Teacher Librarian about the new space.

Our first plan was to refurbish the original library. However, it became obvious that the existing facility was no longer fit for purpose given the changing role of libraries and the need to cater for a growing school population. It was decided to reconfigure and refurbish the existing library space in order to locate all staff to a more centralised, collaborative space. A team of staff visited a number of schools and public libraries both here and interstate. We gained valuable insights into what worked and what didn’t work in their spaces and transferred some of their ideas to our final design.

library? The ground floor houses our fiction collection, two seminar rooms and the staff work space. The first floor has three larger seminar rooms, a class teaching space, and a large open area with conference table, booth seating and comfortable lounges - something for everyone! Our timber staircase is a major feature of the building. It doubles as an ampitheatre and is a great place to speak to a group of students before they go off in groups to continue their work. Our rooftop has already hosted several events including year assemblies, concerts and individual classes.

Classes come in once a fortnight to read in comfortable surroundings. They elect to read either a hard copy book or an eBook or listen to an audiobook. We have a number of online students studying subjects that we are not able to offer at our college. These include students studying Engineering Studies, Software Design and Development and in addition to our Japanese classes at school, we will have senior students studying French, Italian, German, Spanish and Korean online next year. These students have a dedicated space in our library for their lessons. During break times you can find students studying, reading, playing chess, card or board games, completing

Our furniture is homework or simply very flexible finding a space away and for the first couple of months the from it all. Our diocesan Mario Kart eSport champions even used students rearranged the library space leading the furniture to suit up to their eSports their needs and this competition. informed our final floor plan. Do the students enjoy working in the library? As the build was progressing, students were asked about the furnishings they wanted in the library. Our furniture is very flexible and for the first couple of months the students rearranged the furniture to suit their needs and this informed our final floor plan. They didn’t want a traditional library setting but instead flexibility and access to technology. A number of digital screens around the library allow both students and staff to project and share their work with others. Judging by the numbers of students accessing our library each day, we would certainly say that our students are enjoying working in our new library spaces.

Our rooftop has only been open since early November. We have already used the space for music concerts, year group assemblies, morning breakfast, Extension History classes and reading groups. We envisage next year that some sport classes like yoga and meditation will be held here. Our Drama teacher has said this is a fantastic space for monologue and group performance practice. The Science department is planning opportunities around astronomy and stargazing evenings as well as a large open space for some larger scale Physics experiments. We have a BBQ and entertainment area which allows for various functions and hospitality events where our students can meet some of the required competencies in the VET courses and for social gatherings for both staff and parents.

The Library space is part of a larger school plan and vision for contemporary learning spaces. As can be found in the new PDHPE precinct, the spaces encourage collaboration, problem solving and active use of learning spaces rather than passive rooms where the teacher ‘does all the work’. The glass walls allow for a more open feel and more importantly allow staff to learn and observe each other in order to continually improve practice. In addition to these new buildings, all existing general classes have been refurbished to allow for agile spaces and to encourage the deprivatisation of classrooms. These changes are all part of the Phase 2 building program at the College. So as well as a new library the College has a new PDHPE precinct? Yes, stage 1 of the precinct is complete and has 3 new learning spaces that link to our covered basketball courts, cricket nets and hockey fields. The new spaces allow for theory and practical classes to be located side by side in a purpose built area of the College. The second of the new PDHPE buildings which complete the precinct are almost finished and include a further two learning spaces, a new indoor and outdoor gym as well as a multi purpose external area to be used for spectator seating, outdoor concerts, presentations and alike.