Health & Wellness
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here are some people who, when you first meet them, it feels like you have known them forever. Mamie Fryar is one such woman. Her smile was warm and open as she spoke candidly with me about her journey with Cancer. Her first diagnosis came when she was only thirty-three and, after a lumpectomy and radiation, she got back a clear report. Though it sounds simple for all that Mamie went through, that is exactly how she made it seem - as if Cancer was just a minor interruption in the flow of her life. Mamie remembers the day of her second diagnosis like it was yesterday. She was forty-seven and this time it seemed more serious. She had just come home from a tough day at work. She sat down and started to tell her husband about her day, when she felt a lump. It was in the same breast she had cancer in before. She immediately told her husband, Kenneth, who reassured her that it was “…probably just scar tissue.” She had had a mammogram just three months prior with a clear result. However, she called her doctor, Dr. Montoya, who said, “Mamie, it probably is just scar tissue but with your history and your family history, let’s check it out.” Mamie had two aunts who lost their battle to Cancer before they reached the age of fifty. Because the result of the second mammogram was unclear, she was sent for an ultrasound which revealed not one, but two masses. Ironically, this appointment was on Mamie’s birthday, May 18th. A biopsy was ordered next. Mamie went to her biopsy appointment and then went on to work. Dr. Montoya called her at work with the results. Mamie knew when she heard her doctor’s voice, that the news was not good. She was right, but she didn’t fall apart or cry. She was alone in the break room when the call came in. After the call, Mamie says she remembers looking up and saying out loud, “God, you did it before, you can do it again.” She said that her faith helped her not to be fearful. Her questions were not, “Why me?” or “How did this happen to me?” but rather, “What is the plan?” and “When do we get started?” Mamie shared that the hardest thing about this cancer was telling her husband,Kenneth, the second time. In fact, she found it so
difficult that she didn’t tell him. She just called him and said they needed to go to Summerville to the doctor’s office right then. He said, “OK.”, and was ready to go when Mamie arrived home. It was in Dr. Montoya’s office, while she was explaining to Mamie what the next steps were, that she realized Mamie’s husband didn’t know why they were there. It was actually Dr. Montoya who broke the news to him. When I asked Mamie why it was so hard for her to tell Kenneth, she said something that, in all the years I have been interviewing survivors, I had never heard articulated this way, “When you go through cancer, everyone who loves you goes through cancer, too.” Mamie had already accepted whatever outcome God had in store for her but, with a husband who had already been through this with her once before, and a mother who was caring for her sick father, it was hard for Mamie to add another worry to her husband’s plate. This time it was determined Mamie would need a mastectomy and more radiation. Mamie also had chemo with her second battle and said, “Yes I knew I was bald headed and cute!” Mamie said when she found out she was going to lose her breast, she was okay with that. “I chose to live,” she said. She also shared with me how she talked to her husband and told him, “I love you with all of my heart. If you can’t handle this, I won’t hold it against you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I am okay with it.” His response to her was, “Let’s do whatever we need to do to keep you here.” (Though I have never met Kenneth, I really like him.)
Mamie’s oncologist is Dr. Douglas Michaelson at the Charleston Cancer Center, which Mamie says is “The BEST Place.” Mamie called Susan Appelbaum, RN, OCN, her angel. “She made it so easy to understand what was happening and to deal with (and be prepared for) the side effects of chemotherapy.”
If you have strong faith, you can conquer anything. Fear cripples you. I did not want fear to cripple me, so I allowed no fear. While Mamie does have some lingering effects of her chemo, she is survivin’ and thrivin’ by all accounts. I asked Mamie what she wanted our readers to know about her journey. “If you have strong faith, you can conquer anything. Fear cripples you. I did not want fear to cripple me, so I allowed no fear.” One of her favorite scriptures is “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” “I am a happy person; I like making others happy,” she remarked.
will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment, you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD. Isaiah 54:17” and “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? Romans 8:31” Mamie said, “Don’t focus on yourself. You are just the vessel he is using. He has a purpose and a plan and your job is to stay in that plan.” Out of Mamie’s experience she has created something called, “Especially for Women.” This is a women’s conference for all women. Not just women who have had cancer, but women who have gone through any battle. If they are struggling with self-esteem or if they have trouble making good choices for themselves or if they, too, have had a life threatening illness, this conference is for them. Mamie Fryar is a woman who loves the Lord, her husband and her family. She is a woman who has found true joy. “Even in the midst of adversity and when people didn’t understand, I was so thankful just to see another day.” She celebrated her 50th birthday this year and I am sure with her attitude and faith she will celebrate every single day of her life!
The other scriptures Mamie shared were along the same vein. “7The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him. Psalms 28:7” “No weapon that is formed against you www.flower townwomanonline.com
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