Nilikom ni Charisse L. Vitto
By Katrina C. Surla
In the Filipino childhood game bahay-bahayan, children assume roles as husbands and wives. But what if the cast list is no longer dress-up-doll-players and water gun shooters? Some people find sheer happiness and plain love despite the absence of a ring, vows and veils or simply put, marriage. First of the many Every parent wants the best for his/her child, but at the end of the day, it is the soon-to-grow up child who would choose his/her future. Nicole (not her real name), a Tourism Management student of Far Eastern University, came home from abroad where her family established a business, and decided to stay in the Philippines to continue her studies for good. This is in turn, leaves her living in the Metro solitarily. As Nicole breathes the new environment, she admits that her boyfriend Bryan (not his real name) was the first person she got along with since her arrival from the airport. “Well kasi, galing akong abroad… Dito sa Pilipinas, wala akong kasama. N’ung una, tulog-tulog lang pero umuuwi pa rin. Hanggang sa nasanay kaming lagi kaming magkasama pati pagtulog (I came from abroad… Here in the Philippines, I don’t have someone to live with. We were only sleeping together at first then we would go home, until we got so used to being together even when sleeping,” she narrated. With the ruling out of role playing in the ‘game of love’, decision arises, Nicole and Bryan decided to live under the same roof. But these young adults, now living as a real-life couple, knew from the start what they are casting themselves into. “Oo, alam naming ‘yun both na mali pero wala eh, ‘yun pa rin talaga gusto namin. Gusto naming magkasama lagi at pinilit naming hanggang sa nangyari naman talaga. Natanggap nalang ng parents namin. (Yes, we both know that it was wrong, but this is what we wanted. We wished that we were always together and pushed it, until it happened. Our parents then accepted it),” she shared. Without the existence of the holy matrimony, what Nicole and Bryan decided to pursue is something that society abhors. Exposition In a ‘bahay-bahayan’ everything sis about pleasure and enjoyment, but in adult relationships, up and downs, conflicts and clashes in situations are inevitable. “Number one worry mo pa, p’wede ka mabuntis kasi lagi kayo magkasama. Ayun ‘yung risk eh. Pero nasa tao naman ‘yan. ‘Di porke’t live-in, masasabi na ng iba, ay mabubuntis na ‘yan sooner or later. Nag-live in lang naman kami kasi d’un kami masaya. S’yempre, we love each other (My number one worry is getting pregnant because we’re always together. That’s the risk; but it really depends upon the person. Just because you live together, doesn’t others give the right to judge and say you’ll get pregnant sooner or later. We just lived together because it was where we drew our happiness from, because we loved each other),” Nicole added. “Nagka-conflict sa side ko na bakit nagsasama na kami. Well, sa kanya rin naman. Kasi, sinasabi nila , Well, on his side as well for his parents we’re questioning why we were living together. (Conflict rose when I began to question why we were living together. Our parents were asking why we are doing that),” Nicole admitted. Though the parent-issue has been present in the relationship, friends-issues stirred up as well. “Kunyari, ‘pag aalis ako kasama friends tapos ayaw niya na sumama ako. Pero madalas kasi, ‘pag niyaya ako, package kaming pupunta. So kung wala isa sa amin, walang pupunta (For example, when I could not go out with my friends, unless we go together),” she furthered. The negative view from both parties that was pictured in the relationship is reasonably comparable to cat fights that arise from children who play the game of bahay-bahayan. These cat fights, no matter how little may either make or break the ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ scene – one may tighten the connection or loosen up the bond. “Happy” ending “Well, ‘di ko masasabi (I can’t tell), who knows? In the end kami pa rin pala (it will still be the both us). Pero (but) as of now, (this is) okay na ito, na (that we’re) good kami,” was Nicole’s last hit of optimism towards her unsuccessful yet heartfelt, and a year and a half long relationship with her former live-in partner, Bryan. After accepting the fact that “it’s over,” Nicole did not run out of positive atmosphere. She also disclosed that anticipating their future together was part of their plans as real-life partners and confessed that breaking up was nowhere to be felt at those moments they were together as a couple. “’Di ko in-expect na magbe-break pa kami. Kasi kilala na naming ang isa’t isa eh. Ultimo ‘yung mga bagay na hindi alam ng magulang namin, alam naming dalawa (I didn’t expect that we will break up because we know each other very well. We even know the things that our parents don’t know about us).” Like every seriously taken relationships, every little change is an adjustment after the never-thoughtof break up. “Sobrang malaking (It was really a big) adjustment. Una sa lahat, gigising ka sa umaga wala kang katabi, (First of all, you’ll wake up in the morning with no one beside you).You’re all alone. You sleep alone, you eat alone.” “Napagkasunduan na lang naming na kahit wala na kami, good kami. Hindi na kami bata eh. Kasi kahit naman nangyari ‘yon, mas marami pa rin kaming magandang pinagsamahan (We just agreed to end our relationship. We are not kids anymore. Because even though it happened, there are still more good things that happened between us),” Nicole proudly shares with a smile on her face. Even though it is not the typical “happy ending,” Nicole found it by seeing her past relationship with Bryan as exceptional memories worth coming back to—a happy ending of her own. Entering in a not so childlike game called love, despite all the fairy-tale words of vows, the ring, symbol for eternity, and all sorts, at the end of the day, Nicole knew that tying her own knot is what matters most—finding bliss in her life with the mindfulness that she was once fond of combing dolls’ hair but she’s now doing it with her own crowning glory.
Isa sa mga natatanging simbolo ng pagiging matatag ng bawat Pilipino ang mga pader ng Intramuros. Saksi ito sa patuloy na pagbangon at pagiging matibay ng ng ating lahi sa kabila ng maraming pinagdaraanang pagsubok simula pa noong panahon ng pananakop ng mga dayuhan. Halika’t balikan natin ang ilan sa mga mahahalagang kaalaman sa makasaysayang lugar na ito. Sa isang banal na lugar ng Fort Santiago, kung saan naroroon ang watawat ng Pilipinas, namalagi si Raja Sulayman kasama ang kanyang mga tauhan.
Inabot ng 250 taon ang paggawa sa Intramuros (1590-1830). Dating nasa Intramuros ang mga kilalang unibersidad gaya ng Ateneo de Municipal (Ateneo de Manila University), Colegio de Nuestra Senora del Santisimo Rosario (University of Santo Tomas) at Adamson University. Nailipat ang mga ito nang atakihin at masira ang Intramuros noong Ikalawang Digmaang Pandaigdig (1937-1945). Gawa sa volcanic tufa o mas kilala rin sa tawag na adobe ang materyal na ginamit sa pagtayo ng Intramuros. Ang materyal na ito ay mala-kahoy kung basa ngunit napakatibay at pangmatagalan kapag tuyo.
Ang tanging orihinal na natira sa bahagi ng istraktura ng Fort Santiago ay ang dalawang pakurbang bato na nasa gilid ng tarangkahan nito. Sa pasukan ng Intramuros ay makikita ang isang moat bridge. Ito ay hindi nakahanay sa pasukan upang magsilbing depensa sa mga namamalagi malapit sa Pader. Sa ngayon, ito ay ginagamit na lamang upang daanan ng mga turista at magsilbing palamuti sa naiwang bakas ng kasaysayan. Ang Dalubhasaan ng San Juan de Letran, isa sa mga paaralang makikita sa loob ng Intramuros, ay dating bahay-ampunan at naging eskwelahan lamang noong taong 1620. Ang pinakauna at pinakamatandang simbahang bato sa PIlipinas ay ang San Agustin Church (kilala rin bilang Inglesia de San Pablo) na itinayo noong 1589. Ang Postigo Gate sa likuran ng gusali ng Land Bank (Palacio del Gobernador) ay ang pribadong pasukan at labasan ng mga arsobispong Espanyol at gobernador-heneral tungo sa “Walled City” noong unang panahon.
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