Workplace and adult bullying looks a little bit different than the bullying on the playground. However, the intention behind it remains the same. Instead of outright laughing at you or tripping you in the lunch room, adult bullies do things called “gossip” and “back stabbing.” They are often nice to you in front of your face, but as soon as you turn around, they are talking smack about you. They often create lies and try to get your other co-workers to not like you for their own personal gain or agenda. It is plain and simple; bullies cannot survive on their own. They need to form a “crew” to help them do their dirty work. This also creates a campaign to force their victim out of their job. Corruption and power need followers or they would never sustain themselves. This is why bullies seek out others like them and gather the troops. This leaves the victim vulnerable and an easy target. So pay attention - when a certain someone walks into the room and you see a demeanor change, you just sniffed out a bully. According to the ERC (an organization that provides Human Resource support for organizations): Bullying is often done by: intimidation, deceit, aggression, taking credit for others’ work, ignoring, isolation, seduction, shame and guilt, undermining, blaming, making others feel useless, mood swings, blaming, withholding information, revenge, punishment, or embarrassment. Often these bullies have really perfected their craft and they will “silently” bully people. They will say and do things to you when
no one else is around, so that you don’t report it and it remains their word against yours. They try and gain power and control over you. They manipulate you and others around them. They also will do anything in their power to silence you when you speak up for yourself. Trust your gut and when someone starts to make you feel “less than” or uncomfortable, pay attention to their actions toward you. So what do you do with these bullies in the break room? - Don’t be afraid to call the perpetrator out in a respectful manner. Be assertive. Say something like, “John, when you make comments about my attire it makes me uncomfortable. Please stop doing that.” - Document, document, document! Document everything. Be specific in your documentation. Make sure to put date, time, place, names of people (and their title) involved and be specific in how you describe the event. - Talk to your manager (if you trust them) and follow your chain of command. - Utilize your resources such as your Union (if you have one) or your EAP (Employee Assistance Program). - Take care of YOU! Self-care is so important. Don’t let these actions consume you. - Leave work at work; try not to take it home with you.
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