Ten Tiny Toes
BABY GEEK Miriam McCaleb is a teacher, writer and parent, and ‘a geek’ whose specialist subject is babies. A voracious student of child development, and an obsessive thinker on issues relating to parenting and family relationships, she loves nothing more than to provoke thinking about children’s well-being. She shares ideas and info about children, science, families and life on her blog baby.geek.nz.
But you have to work up to that. When our babies first arrive, and we are thinking of ways to be that receptive guide, we see that she has ways of letting us know that she’s hungry. Or tired, or over-stimulated, or hot. The mature guide in this relationship must pay attention. You see, when babies are brand new, their experience of the world is entirely sense-based. Those incomplete brains of ours develop in a bottom-up way, with the more simple functions being wired up before we learn the complex stuff. We learn to roll before we learn to make cinnamon rolls. Dig? The way Baby experiences the world will develop and mature just as her other abilities will. In terms of experiencing her world, Baby will one day be able to think about it, talk about it, and sing about it. She will use her hands and the rest of her body to interact with it. But for now, Baby is sensing the world. That’s what she’s doing. So let’s do our best to un-think about that. Which is to say, one of the more useful gifts you
can give to your baby (and yourself!) is to carve out time to be together, heart to heart. Your challenge: to try and meet her in this neurobiological space, where thinking dials down, and senses ramp up. Let go of the to-do list, distract the toddler, and wrestle this bit of time for you both. Really give in to the scent of your baby. Take time to sniff that neck. Notice the feel of her sweet soft blanket and look closely at the profound perfection of her skin. Those pores! That glow! Bask in the sounds of her breath – all hail those sweet snuffles! Being together in a space where the senses reign puts you on an equal footing as you begin the vital dance of developing your relationship. And friends, there is nothing more important than that relationship. In the words of neuroscientific rock star Bruce Perry, ‘the attachment relationship is as important for development as the umbilical cord is in utero’. So while Baby is tiny, take the time to connect with her on a sensory level. Cherish that relationship, and use all your senses to do so.
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mozarts.co.nz Autumn / 2018
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