Teachable Moments
B y Emm a K r e s s
Why Rewards Don’t Work Self-directed learning is the best kind
T
he best way to get kids to be successful in school and life is to build up intrinsic motivation. This is the drive that comes entirely from the individual, as opposed to outside forces such as parents, grades or status. If a student works only for the “A”, he’ll never find the joy in learning for its own sake. If a child cleans her room only for the allowance, she will begin to expect money whenever she helps out around the house. The problem, of course, is that it’s a lot easier to threaten to take away a privilege for bad behavior or to reward good behavior. We’re all overworked and overwhelmed, and extrinsic motivators— rewards—get the job done quickly. Unfortunately, the research suggests that the more we use extrinsic motivators, the less likely we are to build intrinsic motivation in our children.
So what do we do? How do we raise children who are motivated to learn, contribute to our society and considerate of others? Set parenting goals. Start by thinking about the values, traits and skills you want your child to have as a grown-up. What’s most important to you? Perseverance? Kindness? Empathy? As you create your list, you’ll begin to see what really matters to your family. This is how teachers plan their year. It’s much easier to create learning experiences when you have some goals in mind. Nurture curiosity. Curious kids love to learn, and kids who are intrinsically motivated are curious. Pay attention to your child. If he begins to express an interest in animals, get him a subscription to a magazine like National Geographic Kids, take him to the zoo or volunteer at an animal
shelter. When you plan family activities, try to feed his interests. Develop relationships. Research suggests that we’re more likely not to require rewards when we feel connected to the people involved in the task. If rooms need to get clean, you might create some family time where that’s what everyone does. Perhaps make a game out of who can find the most items in unusual places (socks under the couch cushions), or blast music and dance your way through. Then, when you’re all finished, you can do something fun together. If social studies is your daughter’s least favorite subject, perhaps set up a regular study date with a good friend and turn memorizing dates into games they play for popcorn. Build perseverance. Several years ago, Carol Dweck, a renowned Stanford psychologist, conducted research that
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