The importance of routines

Families Education The importance of routines for young children

by Claire Burgess

Routine is important for all of us. It provides safe, comfortable boundaries and keeps

our lives on track. But it also means different things to different people and needs to fit each individual family, adjusting as children grow. Some families benefit from more structure, while others work well with more flexible routines. There is no right or wrong in a routine, other than when it doesn’t work for your children or for you!

WHY DO BABIES AND CHILDREN NEED ROUTINE?

As humans every day of our lives is made up of various mini routines. These are the little routines which we have perfected over time and repeat daily, all of which help us to manage our day, many times without even really thinking about it.

Routine is also another word for security. By having a routine it helps our children (and us) to feel secure and we are at our best when we feel safe and secure. This is when we are able to concentrate, cooperate, negotiate, listen and ultimately learn.

Being able to tell the time gives adults the ability to develop routines but babies and young children don’t have this luxury. So they are relying on us to help them understand how their day is going to be structured.

It’s worth being aware that if this timing changes day to day, your child will be constantly unsure of what is happening next. In turn, this may lead to them displaying challenging behaviours, their eating habits fluctuating and their sleep being disturbed.

HOW DO I KEEP MY CHILD ON TRACK?

It is all about watching for the signals. These can be subtle and can sometimes be easily missed; observation of your child is key. Look for those little indicators such as wandering off around the house and not being able to focus on things, becoming clingy when they were happily playing, staring into space, getting cross, frustrated or fidgeting, upset or boisterous. These can all be indicators that things are not quite right and your child needs you to help them find the way back into their routine. Once you have recognised this, you can put a plan into action.

TOP TIPS

Make the routine fit for your family. Every family is unique and has their own way of structuring their day; what works for your friend might not work for you.

Don’t make it too rigid. But do have two key times of the day: the time your children get up in the morning and the time they go to bed. If you aim for and stick to these two points of the day, it will help to regulate your child’s sleep hormones at night and ‘get up and go’ hormones in the morning. Between these times you should schedule regular mealtimes (and snacks dependent on the activity of the day) and possibly naps. This gives you a constant structure to the day which will give both you and your children the security and safety to approach each day with confidence.

Consistency. For something to become a habit it needs to be consistent. When implementing a new routine or an adjustment, it can take at least two weeks to stick, so persevere!

Claire Burgess is a director and family consultant at Bespoke Family (www. bespokefamily.co.uk), which offers tailored support from newborns to teens.

Making it work

A completely rigid system leaves little room for spontaneity and can be selfdefeating. Don’t be afraid to nudge your routine when the need arises. For example, if lunchtime is usually one o’clock on a normal day, but today you have been swimming and your little one is showing signs of being really hungry and tired, take the hint and bring lunch forward. Just half an hour might be the difference between the biggest ‘I’m hungry and tired’ meltdown and having your little one eating well and feeling happy (meaning that you are happy and relaxed as well!) The one routine that’s always worth sticking to is the fixed bedtime. Proper sleep is as important to children as a healthy diet. Including naps, experts recommend up to sixteen hours’ sleep for infants and up to twelve hours per night for older children. While it might be tempting to keep your little one up later than normal to fit in with your own plans, sleep time is when kids grow and rest so that they are ready for everything tomorrow brings.