Lessons in helping your child improve their mental health

If your child is struggling, here’s how to help them access mental health support at school by Louise Baty

Nobody should suffer in silence. If your child is struggling with their mental health, they don’t have to cope alone and neither do you. There are people out there who can help.

This year’s Mental Health Awareness Week (9th to 15th May 2022) focuses on the theme of loneliness. Struggling with mental health can make you feel incredibly isolated and lonely and, if your child has confided in you that they’re unhappy about something, be proud of them for taking that first step. By confiding in you, your child may already feel less weighed down and lonely. After all, there’s a reason why that old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ is so well known.

However, while you can offer love and reassurance, you may not be able to give them the practical support that they need - and it’s important to know where exactly to access it.

Many parents’ first point of call will be their GP. However, you may decide that your child’s school teacher or tutor is the first person you’d like to approach, given that they spend considerable time with them and are responsible for their pastoral care at school.

Once you’ve approached your child’s teacher or tutor, they might pass you on to a mental health professional working within the school system.

There are many professionals working under the umbrella of Children and Young People’s Mental Health Services (CYPMHS), which may also be known as Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) depending on where you live, and is the multi-disciplinary UK-based NHS services that assess and treat young people with emotional, behavioural or mental health difficulties along with neurodivergent conditions. These professionals include: • School nurse - works with school children and their families • Special educational needs (SEN) teacher - supports pupils with specialist educational needs • Social worker - works within the community supporting families and children • Occupational therapist - helps people who have physical, sensory, or cognitive problems • Counsellor - helps people overcome their problems with talking therapy, listening to them and encouraging them to make changes to their lives • CBT therapist - counsellor specialising in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), a talking therapy that helps you make positive changes to your thought and behaviour pattern

Before your child has their first appointment with one of these professionals, they may feel daunted by the prospect of speaking to someone new about their mental health. Reassure them that addressing their worries is the best way to eventually overcome them. You might be allowed to attend their appointment or they may attend alone. Either way, you can help them prepare for their appointment.

Firstly, having some notes prepared can be helpful so that they know what they want to talk about and can also jog their memory if they lose their train of thought, as can happen if you’re feeling emotional.

A mental health professional will ask questions, such as why your child thinks they have been referred for help and how they’ve been coping with the issue up to this point. They may be asked how things are at home and school, along with anything from their past that might be affecting how they’re currently feeling.

Your child may be given tasks such as filling in a form with questions about how they’re feeling now and whether they’ve ever thought about harming themselves. This may seem overwhelming, especially if it’s the first time they’ve opened up to someone they don’t really know. Impress on your child that it’s important they answer honestly so that they get the right support.

Your child may be given ‘homework’ to do between appointments, such as practising mindfulness exercises or jotting a daily record of their feelings. If they complain that they ‘already get enough homework from school’, remind them that it’s important to do this work because it will help them get the most out of their mental health support.

It’s also worth being prepared for a somewhat bumpy ride, as your child works towards recovery. They may wake up some days and feel that they’re not going anywhere. Reassure them that everyone who’s experienced a mental health issue has felt like this at some point but that things will get better.

During this process, it’s also important to remember your own wellbeing and mental health. As a parent, you may find it hard to cope when your child is having a tough time. Don’t be afraid to seek support for yourself and never underestimate the positive power of a quick ‘how are you doing?’ phone call or hug from someone who genuinely cares for you and your child.

A great way to boost your spirits and your child’s sense of achievement is to mark your successes, no matter how small. Encourage your child to make a note of good days and try not to dwell too much on down days. Believe in your ability to get through difficult times as a team. Above all, be kind to yourselves - always.

Mental Health Awareness Week 9-15 May 2022

Louise Baty is the author of In My Head: A Young Person’s Guide to Understanding Mental Health, published by Vie, £10.99

£15.00 per person

rumblelive.co.uk

Located at beautiful Grafham Water, Huntingdon in eight acres of beautiful woodland, Rumble Live brings video games to real life with team based fun - scavenge your environment to find utility boxes containing extra ammo, respawns and special weapon upgrades to take down the other team. • Experience state of the art technology with the best laser rifles and grenades • Rack your performance against friends • Unlock kill streaks and compete with friends and family on the scoreboard • New bases, hides and missions for this summer • Optional shock bracelets available for 18+