Party Time
Overwhelmed and Melting Down CHILDREN’S PARTIES
Third in a series of educational parenting articles on ‘Raising Bright Sparks’. How to recognize, support and extend our brightest kids.
I
t’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to! This may be the refrain from a ’60s pop song, but the equivalent message is frequently heard as a plaintive wail emanating from a child’s birthday party. With a child emotionally overwhelmed and melting down, parents are left wondering whatever happened to the ‘happy’ birthday.
“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!” 18
Your Local Families Magazine – Brisbane Issue 4 - June/July 2014
Occasional upsets can occur in any gathering of young children. Why is it that gifted children often get so distressed in the midst of a celebration, whether attending a birthday party or large family event? A common, but incorrect, belief is that gifted children are socially and emotionally immature. The child who is intellectually advanced has a discrepancy between chronological and mental ages. Research shows that social and emotional development is usually placed half to two-thirds between the child’s two ‘ages’. Social and emotional maturity is aligned with mental age, the way a child thinks. The ability to think in complex ways leads to emotional depths, so gifted children are often sensitive and intense. Environmental sensitivity may extend to difficulties with sound, touch, taste and visual stimuli. Linda Silverman’s research indicates increased levels of food intolerances and allergies within this population. Characteristics prevalent among the gifted will be more apparent in situations where children become emotionally aroused. A child may be advanced in several areas but with limited life experience, has not had sufficient time to develop the skills to manage overwhelming stimuli, thoughts and emotions. Parents, who want their child to experience social activities but not become overwhelmed and distressed, can prepare with these characteristics in mind.