November 2005

ne of the blessings of my ministry is the chance to walk awhile with people on their faith journeys. Often, that journey is a quest for healing- sometimes physical, but more often spiritual. Those who are ill request prayers for a cure - from me, from their parish community and through the sacrament of anointing of the sick. Sometimes, in ways we do not always understand, they are cured of their ailments. Cancer goes into remission, tumors shrink and the gift of time is granted. But just as wonderfully, there is the gift of healing. The cancer stays, the tumor grows and time is short- yet the person is filled with peace and serenity, a sense of their place in God's amazing plan. It is this healing of spirit that God promises us in the sacrament of anointing.

Another sacrament of healing is that of reconctliation. Many of us are dealing with hidden wounds cause:d by broken or damaged relationships. Perhaps we are estranged from family or friends- perhaps from God. We have all experienced the offering of an apology and the acceptance of forgiveness; when it happens, we are grateful for the chance to start over in the relationship. The sacrament of reconciliation is God's invitation to another chance- it is an offer to heal us. As we speak our sins out loud, excising them as surely as a surgeon removes an unwanted growth, we release them into God's loving hands. In the words of absoluuon, God assures us of his continuing love and his desire to be one with us again. Suzanne Fales was the instrument of another chance for Grace Drake -physically and spiritually. Suzanne's gift of a kidney renewed Grace's body and also renewed her spirit so that she could serve other kidney patients as a nurse. Nancy Schertzmgs quest for healing was not physical , it was a search for hope - hope to repair the tattered fabric of her marriage. Through Retrouvaille, she and her husband, Eric, were able to heal the breach m their relationship and find faith that they could have a future together as loving partners. Like Harry Butler and his son, Kendall, those whose lives were torn apart by Hurri~ canes Katrina and Rita are also looking for mending. For them, the approaching season of Advent will truly be a time of new beginning, of making their lives whole again. As they struggle to do so, God calls us to be his hands and heart- reaching out in love and generostty to offer an opportunity to heal. And so, our journey in FAITH continues.

- Fr. Dwight E:op Is cdilor or FA ITil Magazine and pas111r or the Catholic Community or St. jude.

The sacrament of reconciliation is God's invitation to another chance - it is an offer to heal us. As we speak our sins out loud, excising them as surely as a surgeon removes an unwanted growth, we release them into God's loving hands.

what you'll get out of this issue Dear Fr. joe: What is the dif· ference between TV evangelists and the sacrament of anointing of the stck? 6 in the know with Fr. Joe my

story From despair to hope - how RetrouvaUie brought new life to our ma~

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riage.Nancy Schertzing and her husband Eric experienced a Retrouvaille weekend last year. Find out how their troubled marriage became a relationship filled with hope. - Nancy Schcruing

exclusive: AmyGrant - Three Wishes. FAITH's exclusive conversation with singer Amy Grant, who talks about her new show, Three WIShes, a program that makes dreams come true.

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Eli:~hcll1

Snlshurg

Special Supplement: Hurricane Katrina 1 Hurricane Kabina devastated the Gulf ~ in late August Find out how our ~ CathofiC churches and agencies are bringing healing and comfort to ctims of this horrendous storm.

28 Harry Butler lost everything - find out how he's fanng m Lansmg. 30 What are our parishes dorng to help?

- fr. jnscpl• Krupr

Uver and onion magic- the healing of a relationship. 1 0 from the bishop - lnccrvlcw hy Fr. Charles Irvin

Is it a date? How to deal wilh romance in the workplace. 17 work IHe - Tim Ryan He spends, she saves - how to deal with your joint debt. Take time for a family meeting - to plan fun !. D-A-T-E tips, pan three - time. 3 tips for inter· church marriage. 18 your marriage matters Mom loves me better! how to deal with sibling rivalry. 19 the journey - Dr. Cachlccn McGreal

Being peeled to be healed uncovering layers of your soul. 20 spiritual fitness - Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

Hurricane Katrina reveals our need for reconciliation. 31 the last word

~005 • Volume 6 =l::suc 110

Rev. Dwill,ht Ezop 1Uiml111lt CHIEF

P~trick

M. O'Brien

IIAIIAIIING EllmJII/CIIDll'll! DIIIEcrull

the doubt and the opportunity to do good. just like our God. TI!C teachers at Hogwarts have different skills, just like we do, and are 10 use them to build up the body of Christ. Dumbledore dies, just like jesus 01rist died. No one can believe that Dumbledore died, just like the Apostles couldn't believe jesus died. Harry, it seems to me, represents "us. ~ And with Dumbled01c~ dcatl1, our job now is to continue tl1c fight against evil with love. Sounds like tl1e basic jesus st01y to me. Thank you for the opportu nily to share this with you.

FAITH Magazine: I have just finished reading the most recent Harry Potter book. As I was reading it, I was struck by the incred-

Elizabeth Martin Solsbun!.

&IIIIIIT&HT EllnolllliTAI'I' WR~Tti!

JillaneJob SUUCJIIPYIONSilllCI!ItT&RY

ible message of love that is contained in it. Dumbledore is forever telllng Hany tl~at it is only I.nve tlwt overcomes evil. In one part of tl1e book it describes lww ugly the human condition becomes as it gets drawn into more and more evil. /likened tl1e school, Hogwarts, as our human community. Hogwarts is supervised by Dumblcdore, not unlilw our God. Dumbledore is always giving eve1yone ti!C benefit of

Patrida Oliver ltCIIIti&RY

Rev. William Ashbaugh Mlc.helle Difranco Tom and JoAnne Fogle Marybeth Hicks Bob Homing Elizabeth Johnson Rev joseph Krupp Cathleen McGreal John Morris Pat Nischan Rick and Diane Pei!Ter Patnck Rinker Tim Ryan AllenaTapia Sara Teller COtmiiBUTING WRITI!Rll

Derek Melot Ma~rct Perrone PIIOOfiii!ADING

TomGennara Christine jones James Luninll. (cover)

COfftiiiBUTING PltOiOGIIAPHtRS

Tell us what you think. We want to hear your opinions - about articles in the maga· zine, happenings in our church or anything you want to share. Send your letters to: EdHor FAITH Magazine 209 Seymour Ave. Lansing, Ml 48933 Or send us an e-mail: esolsburg@

- Marge Novak

in the beginning

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The Ocdrcat•on of the Ba

Blessed Eugene Bossllkov, Bishop Feast: Nov. 11 Born: Nov. 16, 1900 Died: 1952

Claim to fame: In a time and place when being Catholic wasn't even legal, Eugene Bossilkov was renowned as a preacher for the faith. He was a popular pastor in Bulgaria and was ordained Bishop of Nicopolis in 1947. In 1952, Bishop Bossilkov was arrested as a Catholic subversive, found guilty and executed.

~~~~~----~

he worst part of this moment, as the urine runs down my girlfriend's leg, is the fact that the dog who put it there is mine. He's never done this before, and as my husband will probably set him loose on the expressway when he hears about this episode, it's unlikely to happen again. But here, in this moment, while my girlfriend laughs and tells me its really OK that my dog has peed on her, I know this will forever be ''the Lime my dog peed on your leg" and our friendship will never be quite the same. With four kids, a job I do at home, and an unpredictable, if not deceased, dog, its a miracle I have girlfriends at all. The reason I have friends, however, is that I've chosen the kind of women who don't ex-pect much, and if l don't come through with the 'if f ager acts of friendship they do ~-peel, they forgh·e me. Case in point: a recem lunch

date with my two closest gal pals, which I missed while writing a column, or checking e-mail, or folding laundry while avoiding writing a column and checking e-mail. I can't recall what I was doing, but I wasn't at the restaurant with Cathy and Theresa at 12:15 where I said l would be, and when they called at l :15 and asked, "Where are you?" I gasped a combination of air and guilt that became a lump in my throat. "I'm SO sorry," l said. But it was too late. This would forever be "the time l stood Cathy and Theresa up for lunch" and our friendship will never be quite the same.

Read the rest of Marybeth Hicks' article, along with other exclusive essays, features and news briefs only on FAITHmag.com. I Sts Peter and Paul Apostles •,a . I "

St Rose Phoilppone Duchesne, Vir g1 n ' •<. I "

Why he Is • ulnt: Bulgaria had been invaded by the Soviet Union after the retreat of German troops in World War II. The Soviets began a round of religious persecutions aimed at wiping out anything that might oppose the power of the new Communist regime. After the apostolic delegate to Bulgaria was expelled, and laws were passed confiscating all church property, Bishop Bossilkov preached dynamic missions to prepare for the persecution he knew was imminent. He was arrested while on vacation in Sofl8, along with 40 other priests, religious and Catholic lay people. The charge was being the chief of a Catholic subversive spy organization. The official sentence condemned Bossilkov to death by firing squad, and ordered al his goods confiscated. The sentencing document said Bossilkov "convoked a diocesan council in which it was decided to combat Communism through religious conferences, held in Bulgaria, activities caled 'a mission~ No appeal of his sentence is possible~ Best quote: Just before his execution in the prison at Sofia on Nov. 11, he said, "Don't worry about me; I have been given God's grace, and I am going to remain faithful to Christ and to the church~

How he died: After execution, Bossilkov's body was thrown in a common grave for criminals; the precise location of his burial place and his body are unknown. Rumors of his death reached Rome, but his death was not verified until1975, when the Bulgarian chief of state, in reply to a direct question from Pope Paul, said, "Bishop Bossilkov died in prison 23 years ago:• Prayer: St. Eugene, you were faithful to Christ and to the church even to the point of death. We ask you to pray for us that we too may stand up for what we truly believe, regardless of the cost. Amen. - Ell:abet h Solsburg

Our Lord Jesus Chrost the Kong '• . • · '

~c Prescntatoon of the B lessed Virgon Mary t, . . I

/ Dear Fr. Joe: The TV coverage of Hurricane Katrina showed a lot of people I stealing from stores and other places. Was l that OK? ow- good question. let's stan the answer by looking at the Scriptures; no better source, right? We read Exodus and find that the Sevemh Commandment says, ''You shall not steal." Seems pretty straightforward, right? Well, maybe. One of the words we have I to pay attention to in that commandment is "steal." What does that mean exactly? According to another great book, the .!:!:;;;:::::;~=~====::;::=:.....=----_. Catechism of the Catholic Chwth, stealing is "unjustly taking or keeping the goods of one's neighbor and wronging him in any way with respect to his goods." The key question is this: Do we think the victims of the hurricane were unjust in taking things they needed to stay alive? 1 Common sense, charity and the church all tell us the same thing- no. Ownership of propeny is a gift- we are simply stewards of the things we own and we're supposed to use our gift to benefit our brothers and sisters. Obviously, in a case such as the hurricane, it should be our desire to help those people who are in desperate need. If we don't want to share, then we've got our priorities out of whack. According to the catechism, theft is the "usurping of :mothers propeny aganst the reasonable will of the owner. There is no theft if consent can be presumed or if refusal is contrary to reason and the universal destination of goods. This is the case in obvious and urgent necessity when the only way to provide for immediate, essential needs is to put at one's disposal and use the propeny of others." Thats pretty clear, right? Someone who is Statving is not stealing if they take food. On the other hand, stealing a 1V is a different story - its not an immediate, essential need, especially when 1 theres no power!

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.... A man was drivmg down a muddy country road and got stuck. He paid a passing farmer $50 to pull hts car out w1th a tractor. After the car was back on dry ground, the motorist said to the farmer, "At those pnces, I should th~nk you would be pulling people out of the mud ntght and dal "Can't," replied the farmer 'At ntght I haul in water for the hole!'

Dear Fr. Joe: I've seen TV evangelists laying hands on people and "healing" them. Can you explain how this is different from our Anointing of the Sick? ometimes 1V evangelists make it seem as if physical healing is guaranteed if the sick person just believes- I'm not always sure if they're supposed to believe in jesus or in the evangelist! In any case, no person can guar-

St Cccilaa Virg on and Martyr V ••' .' I Sl Clement I, Pope and Martyr ',o, :' .'

Sl Columban, Abbot r, • -

antee physical healing to another person. Even the Apostles ex"perienced illness and death. What jesus did leave us is his comfon in time of sickness and frailty- a comfon we can experience in the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick. When jesus healed the sick during his eanhly ministry, he was giving us all a sign that the Kingdom of God was near- that God had extended compassion to his people. That compassion is still with us today - and we are supposed to act like j esus by comfoning the sick

Blessed M•g uc: Agu stan Pro, Prest ana Martyr •.

• _ I 5: A

FAITH asks: what needs healing?

.,. FAITH asked sixth-graders in Mrs. Mickelson's class at Resurrection School, lansing, the following question: What in our world do you think needs to be healed and why?

Here's a sampling of what they thought -

Michael:

"Hurricane Ka· trina victims. Because there are people there with no shelter, food, water and maybe no place to go:•

nnd caring for the elderly. Jesus used s1gns, like spiule nnd the lnying on of hands, to henl those who came to him in fnith . Those snme signs and gestures arc repeated in the Anointing of the Sick The priest lays hnnds on the ill person, pmys over them and anoints them with holy ml blessed by the bishop for this purpose. This

rite comes right out of the Bible - in the early church, the nposllcs did the snme thing. CcfJamcs5 H·15l Amazing physical henlings have been nttributcd to thiS sncmment, but whether or not there is a physicnl result, the major effect is one of spititunl henling and peace. The sncmments particulnr gift is to strengthen the faith nnd trust of

"I think our earth needs to be healed, because soon we will have our earth really polluted, and our trees will be cut down, making it hard to breathe.

the person whos ill. It also unites the sick person to the sufferings of jesus. Anyone who is senously ill, or in dnnger of demh, or just fmil from old age can receive the sncmmcnt. And, unlike the old days when we called It Extreme Unction, thiS sncmmem is not reserved for the deathbed anymore. Anointing of the Sick is not magical mumbo-jumbo, but it is an awesome gift from God. Enjoy another day in Gods presence.

Send your questions to: "In the Know with Fr. Joe" FAITH Magazine 209 Seymour Lansing, Ml 48933

Or: JoelnBiack@prlest.com

Molly: "The sick, dying, poor and all who need help. Everyone needs help and God our Father is the only one who can heal them~ - Allen;~

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efore I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you." (Jtr 1 4>

~ve always thought of

- -the Benedicttne priests at St. jeremiah$ call as my own, be- Scholastica Parish in Detroit, cause my love alTair with God and certamly by the example of my parents and extended and the church came very early in life. Fonned by the family, !loved to pray, to atAdrian Dominican sisters and tend daily Mass and to hear

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the stories of the saints. By the time I received my first Communion in the second grade, I knew I wanted to spend my life serving God. I was very serious about becoming a nun - one of the Adrian Dominicans, of course! But, by the time I entered the eighth grade and ~discovered" boys, I knew God wasn't calling me to that vocation. Still, I wanted to be involved in the church any way I could. As an eighth-grader, I became a catechist in both our Saturday and Sunday morning religious education programs. That ministry continued for more than 25 years and I gradually added the titles of pan-time parish and religious education secretary, and then youth minister. In my current parish, St. joseph Shrine in the beautiful Irish Hills, I am a pastoral associate and director of religious education. In September 1995 I was privi-

leged to be commissioned as a lay ecclesial minister for the Diocese of Lansing. And it is with the help and support of my wonderful husband, Marion, and my two sons, Michael and Richard, that I have been able to answer Gods call to serve the people of my parish, the diocese and the universal church. What an awesome priVIlege it was to stand before Bishop Kenneth Povish in St. Mary Cathedral -to be called forth, to know the church officially recognized my call, a vocation I had received long ago. l was filled with joy as the bishop, in the name of the entire church, accepted my declaration of commitment and then commissioned me to serve. My familys support was invaluable, but just as important was the support from the parish community of St. joseph Shrine. As part of the commissioning ceremony,

hrough our baptism, we enter into the priesthood of all believers. We are called to serve the entire people of God. For some of us, that service is expressed through sacramental ministry as a priest or deacon, through vowed community life as a religious, or through service to our family as a married couple. But for some people, single or married, there is an additional call - a call to serve the church in a specific, commissioned ministry.

T t[.)._was actually presented lO

'l~hop Povish by a parish

representative, my mentor jean Hausmann. These words were used, "In the name of Stjoseph Shrine, I ask you to commission Diane Dover for service to us, and we promise to assist her by prayer, encouragement and support. Jean was one of the people from the parish who called forth my gifts and challenged me to go deeper - to see how God might be calling me anew. That led me to the diocesan ministry formation program, at that time called Church Ministries Institute (CMI). The faith community continually encouraged and supported me through three years of formation that included day-long classes every Saturday in Lansing, ctreats, spiritual direction 1 (}d a mentor program. And ot only was I commissioned by Bishop Povish, I was also commissioned by the faith community of Sl. Joseph Shrine at each of our Masses

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that September weekend. What a powerful symbol of acceptance, affirmation and sending forth! I will never forget that experience and their love. I wear two rings that I never take off- one that my husband put on my finger the day \Ve were married. ll continually reminds me of our love and our commitment, our vocation to each other. The other is a '1esus" ring that l took the day I was commissioned- to always remind me of my call as servant to Gods people, a call I received so very long ago. -DI:lne

Most of you have encountered these people in your parish. They are the directors of re19oos education, the coordinators of youth ministry, the liturgists, the pastoral associates. Many of them have been commissioned by the bishop in a ceremony at the cathedral, sent forth to serve their parishes in a variety of roles. These people are more than volunteers who have become church

employees; they are people whose desire to

serve has resuked in discernment, formation and then authorization by the church. In many dioceses, including the Diocese of lansing, candidates for lay ecdesial ministry engage in an adapted version of the four pillars of These people are priestly more than volunformation teers who have - human, become church spiritual, employees; they

intelec-

are people whose

tual and desire to serve has pastoral. resulted in discernMany of ment, formation our lay and then authorizaecclesial tion by the church. ministers have obtained master's degrees in their fields, have discerned with spiritual directors and have answered the church's call for more workers in the field of the lord. In November, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops will address the topic of lay ecclesial ministly in their document, Co-worl<ers in the Vineyard: a Resource for Guiding Development of Lay Ecclesial Ministers. With the bishops, the priests, the religious and the deacons of the church, lay ecclesial ministers have stood before God and said, "Here I am, Lord. Send me~

arish priests frequently meet parishioners for the first time in surprising situations and unexpected places. I The most usual, yet still surprising, is the hospital. I This ordinarily happens I because the priest was notified by a relative, friend l or neighbor. Whats liver I and onions got to do with I this? In one such meetinm they are a turning point iK4' a drama about forgiveness 1 and healing. Of course, the older generation grew up with j liver, onions and fried potatoes in the '30s and '40s, during the Depression and the war. While pondering this months topic of forgiveness and healing, I was not alone; I sensed a constant companion. An elderly parishioner from years ago, whom l first met in the hospital, was on my mind. This ladys story was an eye-opener for m then and is still a vivid reminder of how much we humans need forgiveness and healing.

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the only petition in the lords Prayer with a condition - "Forgive I met her in the hospital. While introducing myself, she seemed hesilant and somewhat surprised. The brief visit was us our trespasses as we forgive others." mostly a monologue from me. Her few cautious words were jesus teaches, "If you forgive the sins of others, your heaventinged with distrust and anxiety. With hesitation, she wid me ly Father will forgive you. If you do not forgive others, neither a little about herself- widow, no children, relatives distant in will your Father forgive you." c~r ~!ilno I ~) every way, and very much alone. She described herself as an in· Peter asks jesus, "How often must I forgive? Seven times?" active Catholic, because "no one at the parish cares about me. I jesus replied, "No1Not seven umes; I say, 70 times seven was out to sea at that point and speechless. The Holy Spirit then times." This prompted Jesus' story of the debtor who owed an took charge in a remarkable way. I smiled and said, ~After you're astronomical debt and was forgiven. That debtor then refused home and recovered, I'd like to come for dinner." to forgive a piddling debt that another owed him. With a kind of grin she asked,"Whats your favor· Thanks to the heal- j esus concludes, ~My Father \viii treat you in ite meal?" ing power of love, the same way unless each of you forg1ves your brethren from your heart.·· I asked, "Can you cook liver, onions and fried po· even the most tatoes?" She said, "My husband was nuts about that." wounded heart can Please read Matthew, Chapter 18. Forgive· What a miracle! Not just for her, but for this priest know the freeing ness forgoes taking justice into our own hands and leaves it in the hands of the One who said, who learned much about the power of forgiveness encounter with and healing. Her sad story was filled with resentforgiveness. It sets ~vengeance is mine, I will repay." Forgiveness is power - freeing us from the past. When we try to ment, anger and bitterness, which ruled her mind us free without ,{ f a nd heart like ruthless tyrants. This mix of negative wanting anything hide the past and forget its pain, we allow these ' l ll'motions had spawned decades of tragedy, pain and in return. memories to paralyze us. Healing is possible heartbreak. She bore many serious wounds and when everything comes into the light. their scars. Her detailed memory of these hurts kept them The astronaut john Glenn writes in The Waniors, "I am afraid ever-present. They became grudges that poisoned everything. to forget. I fear that we human creatures do not forget cleanly Any notion of forgiveness was angrily rebuffed and ridiculed as the animals presumably do. What protrudes and does not as one-sided and unfair. When it became apparent that her fit in our past rises to haunt us and makes us spiritually unwell slavery to grudges and hatred was destroying her, she longed in the present." Many search for healing from their brokenness. to be free for a new and happy life with God and everyone. Countless lives have been deeply wounded by childhood abuse By the graces of God and a strong will, she put herself in the -mental, physical and the most tragic, sexual abuse. Child lords hands and accepted the way of forgiveness and healing. abuse is the most difficult sin to forgive. The victim is always Her story had a happy outcome. A happy outcome for me a completely innocent child and the abuser is always guilty. was a delicious dinner of liver and onions. Yet, for this ... Sadly, many victims wrongly feel they are at fault and priest, there was a far more valuable outcome. I gained feel guilt. Some even feel they caused the abuse. They many beneficial insights, which I now share with you. falsely think this is what forgiveness means. Some think it Forgiveness is about being free from, so one can be free means forgetting and condoning the evil. Forgiveness for. Its a freedom from death for life. Deep down, we is none of these. It is a decision to stop hating. yearn to get our long-held grudges, with the hatred, Thanks to the healing power of love, even resentment and bitterness they spawn, off our the most wounded heart can know the freebacks. Grudges surface quickly when people arc ing encounter with forgiveness. It sets us wronged and wounded. They boil over the more free without wanting anything in return. a person bitterly recalls every wrong and hun in Pope John Paul II has the last word, "With minute detail. Self-pity and resentment erupt in deep conviction I appeal to everyone to animosity and rage. The poison that consumes us seek peace along the path of forgiveness. l also poisons everything else. am fully aware that forgiveness can seem We have two choices when we are wronged and contrary to human logic, which often yields l·ounded: vengeance or forgiveness. Revenge \viii to conflict and revenge. Forgiveness is inconsume a person with anger and bitterness. The spired by the logic of love, the love God has Gospel is clear about the damage done by hatred. for every person, for every people and nation, It takes root in the soul and spreads evil. Our hatred and for the whole human family." and rancor extinguish the fire of love. Thats why jesus demands forgiveness as a hallmark of his disciples. Its - Most n(\·. C:Jrl r: Mcngding Is lit.: fuunh bishop of lansing.

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hris, her husband, was struggling, too. Concern for Graces health was taking its toll. He was constantly wondering if someone who was the right match would be willing to donate. He and Graces brother had been tested but were not compatible donors. "It was trying my faith," he says. "I needed to learn to be a supporter, an encourager, a motivator." Grace quoted Romans 8:28 to herself often: "For all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purposes." Three weeks before Christmas 2002, that verse was fulfilled for Grace. In Howell, Suzanne was eager to go ahead, but wanted the go-ahead from her family. Looking back, Suzannes husband, Tom, says the whole thing "hit me by surprise. I didn't even want to talk about it." However, Suzannes unwavering attitude and a lot of reading about the transplant process broke down his reserve and, after a year, he became a supponer. With Suzannes mother, it just took some salesmanship to overcome her immediate "No." "But, Mother, you are the one who taught me about sacrifice," Suzanne said to her. "And you know that if you could do it, you would be the first one in line." Her mother was trapped, and after a silence, the only thing she said was, "Make sure you drink a lot of water." Suzannes daughter, Michelle, responded immediately, "Go for it." That left Catclyn, Suzannes granddaughter, who was 8 at the time. For

Tom and Suzanne, she had to give the final OK. After the situation was explained to Catelyn, she agreed. "And if my brother or mother need a kidney some day, I will give them one of mine.~ she added. flWe received her response hke a message from God sent through an angel, a selfless angel," Suzanne said. hroughout the prepara~ tion time, Suzanne said fear and emotion were not the most difficult things to cope with. ~It was all the tests -the EKGs. blood tests, psychiatric work-up. And along the way, the medical people kept giving me every opponunity to back out, like

I didn't know what! was doing. I guess they wanted to be cenain that 1was serious." At one point, shonly before the surgery, Suzanne did begin to fear going under the knife. But, as she was praying in church one day, she looked up at the crucifix and thought, flThis is a no-brainer. He died for us \vithout a whimper." Her excitement and commitment returned. During a three-hour laparoscopic surgery by Dr. Abdelkader Hawash Suzannes kidney was removed. It was then placed into Grace by Dr. Henry Oh, chief transplant surgeon at St. johns, during a slightly longer surgery. Dr. Oh said it was major,

but not dangerous. "Anyone can undergo it with minimal discomfon.~ he said. He noted later that, "We had screened two dozen potential donors who had the right physical match, but Suzanne seemed the best as far as overall willingness and psychological makeup." He pointed out that the rigid screening and testing beforehand is essential because there are some people who donate organs for ulterior motives -like a lonely person looking for attention, or someone who might do it in order to get money from the recipient afterward. "Suzanne deserves applause for what she did- giving the ultimate gift of life, pan of her body to someone else," Dr. Oh said. "She carried out what the Bible teaches." As a result, Grace not only had a new kidney, but she and her family ( ,., vould soon have a new life.

ot everyone is so fonunate. According to the Gift of Life Michigan, a non-profit full-service organ and tissue recovery agency in Ann Arbor, there are 2,075 persons in the state waiting for a kidney transplant Last year, 663 of them received a transplant. One hundred fifty died while waiting.

What does the church teach about organ transplants? The church recognizes the value of organ transplants as a means of saving lives. However, it is vital that the donor's life is not shortened nor the functionality of her body impaired in order to provide a transplant for another. It is important that the risks to the donor be in proportion to the good the recipient will experience. The donor must give full

and informed consent to the procedure. Organ donation after death is considered meritorious and should be encouraged. It is critical that organs not be taken from those who are in a persistent vegetative state or who have not died. (CCC 2296) Pope John Paul II said, "The Gospel of fife is to be celebrated above aft in daily living, which should be tiDed with selfiJiving love for others.... Over and above such outstanding moments, there is an everyday heroism, made up of gestures of sharing, big or small, which build up an authentic culture of life. A particularly praiseworthy example of such gestures is the donation of organs, performed in an ethically acceptable manner; with a view to offering a chance of health and even of life itself to the sick who sometimes have no other hope~ (Ewngali.m ~no. 86) Suzanne worked for Gift of Life as a coordination specialist until recently, and still speaks for them al some functions. Within a week of the operation, Suzanne was driving a car. She was back to work in four weeks. "God has given me incredible health all of my life,Âˇ she said, "and \vithin six weeks l was feeling as good as ever. When llook at all that Grace had gone through compared to me, l consider her a hero. I am grateful that God showed me one of the major purposes of my hfc- why I am here -to donate a kidney." The second woman? Her life was totally transformed. Today, Grace states that she is 100 percent better. ~I have much more energy, cat whatever I want, the hypenension is gone, the lupus m remission. I am grateful to God, and have an increased faith in him. Her career, not surprisingly, is taking a new path. A registered nurse, she now intends to focus on workmg \vith kidney patients. "My hcan bleeds for them," she says. "Though I'm not sure exactly what yet, there is a work for me to do." Even her attitude has changed. "I see how precious hfc is,

and l have more compassion and tolerance for others." Fifteen days after the transplant, at Graces request, she was able to meet Suzanne. Suzanne had never intended to learn who the reciplÂˇ ent was because it was "a personal, private thing for me." But her husband and others convinced her that meeting Grace could lead to some positive publicity for organ transplants, and be an opponunity to educate the public and reduce fears about the procedure. This was especially true since Graces transplant was the first one in Michigan by a li\'e donor to someone who was not a friend or relative. The two of them hit it off immediately. Grace calls Suzanne her angelic hero. "I love her. Her priceless, selness act of mercy gave me a second chance at life," she says. Tom Fales, who has been married to Suzanne for 25 years, says. "She is a saint in my mind. She answered the age-old question of why God gave us two kidneys. She is the most selness person I have ever met. I admire and respect her for what she did. I \vish I could be more like her." .J

._.. For more information on organ transplants, go to www.giftoflifemfchigan.org or call 1.800.482.4881.

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Friday, 8 p.m. he couple facing us talks tearfully about their once-failed marriage, now vibrant beyond their wildest dreams. My husband, Eric, and I listen in silence with nearly 50 other couples in the room. We're all awkwardly longing for our own happy ending, but fear we can never achieve it with the partner who let our marriage whither away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Retrouvaille (pronounced "retro- vie") weekend has begun. While we don't know it, seeds of hope are lying dormant in the broken hearts and hurting souls around us - within us. A spiritually-based program for healing troubled marriages. Retrouvaille was developed in 1977 at a Catholic parish in Quebec, Canada and has spread all over the world. The term Rctrouvaillc is French for "to find again or rediscover." Thousands of couples have used the process to rediscovFAITH Maga~inc

N1~ttl'llâ&#x20AC;˘or 2005

er and strengthen their marriages after years of neglect, infidelity and even divorce. After our own years of quiet desperation and emotional distancing, Eric and I are here at the retreat center seeking to rediscover the joy and connection we once felt in our marriage. The air conditionmg spews chilled air under fluorescent lights, and icy silence dominates the room. The host couple asks us to remove watches and resist the temptation to call home to check on kids. "This weekend is for working on

your marriage," they explain. They say they will guide us through the process as it unfolds, so we won't need schedules or agendas. Still silent, we all face forward, stiffiy ltstening and writing as directed, emotions carefully in check.

Friday evening, later After a session designed to focus on our own lives and feelings, the host couple introduces a process called Dialogue - a combination of letler-wriling about personal feelings on an incident or

topic and discussion about those feelings as a couple. In our leuers, we must rank the intensity of our feelings, assign our emotions a color, or describe some element of nature that illustrates our feelings. This yields vivid and clear imagery, easily understood and shared, which helps us more fully understand each other as panners. After modeling Dialogue, the host couple invites everyone to try the process. They assign the first of the weekends many questions and send us to separate places to write. When our writing time expires, we head ofT to share our leuers and listen respectfully to each other. Eric and I exchange leucrs and discuss their meanings until we are both confident we have been heard and understood. Soon we fall into an easy slumber side by side.

By Nancy Scltcrtzing I Plwtogral'''Y by Tom Gcnnara 1

Saturday mor11ing Saturday mommg dawns early. As Eric and I walk mto the dining room, a more relaxed atmosphere greets us. Most couples still refuse to make eye or physical contact with each other, however, and a few look as if they waged full-blown battles through the night. I feel secure enough to trust the process and allow my'if to lloat along without an ~ genda or ex-pected outcome. Something inside me has loosened up and made room for growth. We spend the morning listening and in Dialogue. The host couples honesty and the Dialogue questions have helped me open up and constructively ex'Press the anger and disappointment that has been brewing for years. Eric listens, asks questions and talks about my writings until he clearly understands what I'm trying to say. Then I take my tum reading his letter, once for my head and a second time with my hean, as directed. Uke me, he has revealed resentments and longings that have lain buried too long. By lunch we feel something taking root inside us, something that eels like hope. Saturday, afternoon and evening Maybe its my imagination, but the dining room seems warmer for the lunch meal.

talk late into the night. Sunday, mon!ing

Even if they aren\ talking to each other, many couples are at least chatting with strangers seated at their table. Smiles appear on faces more easily, some emanating from the eyes. Except for an hour dinner break, we work as couples the rest of the day, wrestling with various issues and revelations until ll p.m. The host couples use such poetic language in expressing themselves and their feelings. I enjoy listening to their vivid and richly textured imagery. I also relish the poetry and honesty that !lows through my pen from the deepest recesses of my hean, enabling Eric to really share my experience and feel my emotions. I put extra elfon into finding the perfect image or colorto illustrate my feelings and help Eric understand my thoughts. As I tend to this elTon, I can feel hope growing inside me, gaining strength and height - like the rose bush on the side of our house that emerges from the frozen ground each spring and climbs the trellis outside my kitchen window. By the time Eric returns to our room, I greet him warmly. Though its ll :00 p.m., I'm looking forward to talking with him about his letter and sharing mine with him. We

Sunday breakfast features many smiling couples talking together at their tables. I find myself lookmg across the room to guess who maintained their distance through the night, and who came together. Many faces seem to glow as if something in their relationships had blossomed in the night. For some, however, the icy walls stand firm. As the women are dismissed from the conference room to write the longest Dialogue, many individuals remain visibly angry and distant. Alone in my room, as I write and rellect on the question, tears stream down my face for the first time all weekend.

Sunday, ajten1oon At lunch, I wonder at the other tear-streaked faces and red eyes and noses around me. Those tears seem to have washed away many of the ice walls. Couples are openly touching, talking and smiling -sometimes for the first time all weekend. In the closing session, the presenters invite anyone to share thoughts or feelings about their Retrouvaille ex-perience. One woman speaks up immediately. "I feel we've turned a comer," she says. "I can put the past in the past, and leave it there to stay.~ Another woman e~'Plained that she and her husband had

only been married one year. ~we're both on our second marriages and I feel as if I lost my husband in this past year." She paused, ~This weekend here with you, I have found him again." Immediately a man spoke up. "The only reason I came here was to satisfy my daughterÂˇ in-la\'l.. Motioning to hJS wife he continued, "We've been separated for six months, after 35 years of marriage. This weekend has been galactic as far as reconnecting myself and my wife. I plan to live to 100, and even though my first 60 years have been mostly unhappy, I want the next 40 to be happy." The following weelt Looking back over our Retrouvaille weekend, I don't understand how it happened, but healing really did blossom in our marriage over the course of those three days. Some claim its the work of the Holy Spirit, it may be Love. I don't honestly know. I do know some powerful force worked on us and other couples who had once recoiled from one another. Something enabled them to reach out to touch their panners face and smile into each others eyes. Uke a rose, by any name, it is sweet. Though Eric and l will face challenges as we rebuild our lives together, we are profoundly grateful the once-dormant seed of hope has flowered within our marriage.

he spends, she saves how to deal with your joint debt .,... A key factor for a couple to control debt rests in whether spending habits are ~ similar. Some of us have a higher tolerance to carrying debt loads than others. However, woe to thee who comes home with surprise j purchases and debt, or consistently blows the monthly budget with frivolous spending. Take a time out, regroup and revisit your goals as a couple- or else married life can get grim! To dig out of "our" debt that "you" put us into makes the sacramental "we" cringe. As in everything else in a strong marital partnership, acquisition of debt must be deliberate and agreed upon in advance. It should follow your family's plans and goals, which must work within your sacramental covenant for the good of your family A spender and a saver can live peacefully in a marriage with some planning. constraint, and some occasional wellplaced grace.

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take time for Ia family meeting to

, · e

some fun!

_... To make time to discuss what:S important to you, conduct a 30-minute family meeting. • Set aside one meal during the next 30 days when all family members living in

your household come together . • Break bread together. The meeting should

have a single agenda item given out and posted on the refrigerator door five to seven days in advance. Title: Family fun Day. Attendance and participation arc not optional -they are required!

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Prior to the meeting, all electronic household equipment must be turned off and visitors must leave. The

meeting, conducted during the meal, must answer the what, when, where, and how of a Family Fun Day. • Follow through! Whatever you've planned, make sure you do it- and do it as a family.

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NtwcmlJ<r 2005

_... Inter-church couples face some unique challenges in their faith lives, but they are also models of Christian unity- members of divided Christian churches joined together in the sacrament of marriage. As with any marriage, communication is key, particularly in the arena of religious practices. Consider these tips: 1 Talk early. The time to talk about your differences is before you are in the midst of a major decision. For example, what are you going to do about Sunday mornings - attend church together? Separately? 2 Focus on the essentials. Talk with your spouse honestly. How important is your faith to you? How important is it that your children are members of your church? Make sure you're on the same page regarding family planning - it can tear a marriage apart if one spouse wants to use contraception and the other is morally opposed, or if one advocates abortion in the case of an unplanned pregnancy. 3 Pray together as a family. Concentrate on those things that you hold in common - Scripture, the Lord's Prayer. Make it a daily ritual to read the Bible or pray together. It will strengthen your marriage and your faith! -

Ell:ab~lh

Sulsburg

hen Billy Carter was just 6, his brother Jimmy joined the

Navy. Billy and his father were close, and many people assumed Billy would take over his dad's business when he grew up. But when Billy was 16, Earl Carter died and Jimmy came home to keep the business on its feet. A PBS show on Jimmy Carter's life reported that Billy was Kmad as hell~ As he entered adult life, Billy's life choices were shaped by sibling rivalry. Seventeen-year-old Billy manied his girlfriend and joined the Marines. Uttle did he know that Jimmy was destined for the White House. Most siblings don't have to endure public scrutiny of the heart of their relationships. But many enter adulthood in need of healing and forgiveness. Childhood patterns continue Into adulthood. In Brothers and Sisters, Jane Mersky Leder notes that reality Is ''filtered through yesterday's memories!' One-third

P-t;~;;;---::---:;:::::::;::;::;:::;:---;:--.:---------:;:_::;:::;;::;::::;:;-1 of the adults she interviewed reported a sibling relationship characterized by rivalry or emotional distance. This unhealthy style of LMiiiKe interaction emerges over time, with parental behavior influencing the filters that children create. Siblings observe how parents treat each child and, if parents make comparisons, the tendency toward rivalry is enhanced. Some statements encourage communication: KThis is a lower grade than you got last term. what do you think I r omilnc:c was different in math class this time?" Other comments set the It+- In our previous issues, we talked about the stage for sibling rivalry: "Your sister never got a score this low, why first D·A·T·E principles, concepts for a can't you study like she does?" long-lasting romantic relationship in your Facilitate positive lnteracUons. marriage. This month, we present more When our children were young, we started "Special principles, and some questions for you to nme" so that each child had time alone with a parenl consider about your own marriage~ As teens, Ryan and Shannon created KSibling Bonding" time. I suspect the initial intent was to have me pick up the tab when '"T' means time together is a priority. This won't they ate at a favorite restaurant But they approach me happen by accident. With today's busy lifestyles, with twinkling eyes to make the request and return from you must have some determination. Allow the the meal in good spirits. Overall, it seems like a good challenge of planning and making arrangements investment to make now and thenl Family rituals for a date to become part of the fun and anticifocusing on siblings are atypical in our culture, but pation. But don't miss those opportunities to be they can nurture mutual affection. spontaneous that also may come along. Finally, Unexpected events change relationships. set aside some time to pray as a couple and Ufe Isn't fair. Billy Carter might have run the attend retreats like Marriage Encounter. family business H Earl had lived for another decade. Many families deal with Kif only..: situations like this. Questions for discussion: Regrets can paralyze us because we cannot change the past One sibling may encounter serious difficulties and be How do we make time for each jealous that life is smooth for the others. Parents can't make other now? How could we find life fair for each child, but they can model trust in God. more time together? Sibling relationships are dynamic, with different challenges How comfonable am I praying at each stage of the life cycle. Within famUies, "each and with my spouse? Could I pray every one should be generous and tireless in forgiving one some prayers like the rosary or another for offenses, quarrels, injustices, and neglect:' (CCC Our Farha with him or her? 1tlll7) -Cathleen McGrc~l

a D·A·T·E romance

how to keep the spark on fire

walked into the kitchen and there was my mother, sniffling and crying her eyes out. Had I done something to cause this? Through reddened eyes she replied, "You forgot to peel the onions, so I had to do it."

I do not know about you, but peeling onions is not my favorite thing to do. The more you cm imo the onion, the more you cry. This is also true in life. But peeling onions is necessary if you wam them to give up their gift to the sauce. The same is true of us - we must be peeled in order to offer a more sincere gift of ourselves to God and others. "Peeling~ of the sou\ leads to healing of the soul. Peeling of the soul is a process of turning oneself over to the care of jesus Christ. The Lord is the one who strips away the dead layers in us, and uncovers areas of hun and pain to get at the deeper levels where his grace can make us new. We all can accumulate layers around our souls that are a result of repeated choices about how we cope with life. Painful experiences can leave memories that continue to enclose and

bind us. Scars and wounds from our own sins, or the sins of others, can run deep. They never seem to heal. We end up doing "the evil I do not want." (R<'m 7. 19) We relate to others in ways that can repeat the sinful patterns we have\earned,orinwaysthat protect us from being hurt again. Love is stifled within us. The husk surrounding us must be shed for us to grow. By Gods Jove and forgiveness, these layers are peeled away. We grow and experience healing, and find new love for God and neighbor. It IS an ongoing process of being more and more reconciled to God and others. Personal prayer and the sacrament of reconciliation are two grace-filled parts of th1s process. Both help us to recognize the many layers of our soul , to turn to God and to entrust ourselves to Christ$ loving care.

Spiritual Exercise: Obstacles to being "peeled"

hat do you do If you run Into an obÂˇ stacle with personal prayer or with the sacrament of reconcJIJatlon? For example, some have said, "I have gone to the sacrament, but I still feel guilty." That is frustrating to say the least\ A person can then feel even more guilty because she knows she should not be feeling guilty! And

FAITH Magazine

No .. cr.sl!iÂˇr 2005

then he gives up personal prayer because he begins to think, "What's the use?" Persistent guilt can hamper healing. A layer needs to be peeled. Here is an exercise that can help you work through guilt or any feeling that presents itself as an obstacle to prayer or reconciliation. Rather than being a block to God, feelings can open us up to deeper healing.

T Find a quiet place to pray. Start by considering Jesus. He loves you and died to save you. He wants your eternal happiness. Trust him. Read MaHhew 11 :28-30 a few times. 2 Ask Jesus to help you understand why you feel guilty. You can also substitute any feeling that poses an obstacle. The feeling is the symptom. If you are feeling guilty, here are some questions to help you explore those feelings: • Am I still feeling guilty because I am not truly sorry for what I have done? Or because I am only partially sorry? Do I feel guilty because I know I will probably do the same old sin again? One remedy for this is to pray for greater contrition and hatred for sin. ifhink deeply While Jesus' offer of forgiveness is not about the sacriconditioned on our sorrow, to receive 5ce of Jesus and deep healing we need to have a good is love for sinawareness of the evil of sin. Think .{lers. Guilt can be deeply about the sacrifice of Jesus and r ift from God to his love for sinners. Guilt can be a gift move us to from God to help move us to greater greater contrition. contrition. It can help us be honest with ourselves and not absolve ourselves of responsibility for the sin. When we dismiss sin and do not consider its true effects - within us or what it's done to others - we will not find healing. • Guilt can be rooted In a false Image of God. When I consider God, .W.t Is going on within me? How do I relate to God? Do I believe God forgives my sin? Do I believe in a merciful God who is "slow to anger, full of loving kindness?" (cf Exod. 33: 12· 34:9 ; Luke 23 33-47) Or does God have a club and is looking for an opportunity to strike me? Reconciliation was at the heart of Jesus' ministry. {cfAda 10:42-43) When he healed people, Jesus often said, "Your sins are forgiven~ Those healed would dance and praise God for joyl Their relationship with God was restored. Jesus offered a number of stories about forgiveness - the father who offered forgiveness to a wayward son, the master who wrote off a gigantic debt belonging to his servant, the woman charged with adultery whom Jesus forgave. Consider them for a while. Let the truth of God's mercy sink in. God's mercy was not just for them - it is for you I Guilt can also be a result of holding on to a grudge or faRing to forgive. Have I forgiven others for perceived slights, poor treBtment, put-downs, or more serious offenses? Sometimes we bury our own hurts within us, and they become a source of further guilt or anger. Have I forgiven myself

for what I have done in my life? We may be holding on to guilt as a sign that we still feel the need to be punished. We have not properly paid our debt and feel we do not deserve to be forgiven. How truel But that is the great mystery of God's grace and forgiveness. Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. No one deserves mercy - otherwise it would not be mercy. • Guilt can also be due to a past abusive situation In which we were constantly told we were unlovabl~~t or that something was wrong with us, or that nothing we do Is right. In order to compensate, we are driven to perfection and yet, of course, we never measure up. Guilt is always there. This can occur in the sacrament of reconciliation. Check out whether you catch yourself second-guessing how well you made your last confession. "Did I do it right? Was it perfect enough? Did I have enough sorrow?" This is often why people feel guilty even after going to reconciliation.

3 Have a conversation with Jesus about the guilt you are carrying as you consider the reasons for lt. He is with you. Talk to Jesus.

4 Give up the guilt. Surrender It to Jesus Christ. Pray: "Lord, I believe in your love for me. I surrender my guilt and shame to you. Hide me in your wounds and set me free~ Usten to what Jesus says to you.

5 Spend a good deal of time In thanksglv· lng. Thank Jesus for loving you. Thank Jesus for dying for you. Thank Jesus for removing your guilt and shame. Read Psalm 32. 6 Resolve to do whatever Jesus tells you. Inner healing is a process. We must be resolved and determined to follow Jesus by obeying what he tells us during our personal prayer. Maybe the Lord will have you prepare for your next reconciliation in a new way. Do not be afraid to bring to the sacrament the roots of sin and not just the scars. For example, I could confess that I get angry often with my husband or wife. The deeper question is "why?" Do not blame others for making you angry. Look within and find the root of the anger and bring it to the sacrament. - Fr. SUI Ashb~ugh

f you could have any wish at all, what would it be? For the Castleberry family, it was reconstructive surgery for their daughter, Abby, who had been severely injured in a car accident. For the Sonora, Calif. cheerleaders, it was a new and safer football field for their team. For 13-year-old Bobby, it a chance to be adopted by his stepfather.

all of them, NBCs new series, Three Wishes, starnng Amy Grant, was the answer to a prayer. Amy and her crew came into Sonora and made wishes come true. FAITH talked with Amy recently about the show, which airs on Fridays at 9 p.m. Amy believes Thrn Wishes is a teaching tool. "We live in an age where people are not connecting the way they used to. They are not meeting each others needs the way they used to." Making dreams come true publicly is about setting an example. ~My hope when I first went to NBC was that

people see this show and feel inspired One woman finally to reinvest. Things happen in the town got to me and I that don't make it to the 1V show... the said, 'Tell me ~ atmosphere in the town becomes so your wish is todt.._;} giving. It happens with the crew, the She paused and people in the town ... people are com- got quiet for a minpelled to be involved on some level." ute and then said, For Amy, the goal is that everyone 'My wish is that the wish would can make a difference in their own come true for the communities, even if the television cameras are not rolling. She says, "You woman who was cannot believe the ripple effect." When standing in line in she was in Clovis, N.M., standing in front of me:" front of the "wish tent," more than a thousand people were lined up to ask her or one of the other hosts for their hearts desire. "It took hours to get through that line. One woman finally got to me and I said, Tell me what your wish is today.' She paused and got quiet for a minute and then said, 'My wish is that the wish would come true for the woman who was standing in line in front of me.'" Amy's television appearances have generally revolved around her music. As a hit Christian recording artist who made a successful crossover into the pop genre, she is regularly featured on Christmas specials and concerts. But she got involved with NBC just for this project - "I was in the middle of the Steven Covey book, The Seven Habits of Highly Succcsiful People, and I had just gotten to the part where it said how important it is to have a life plan and to take a while designing it." Amy's life plan is based on her faith . "Most days I wake up and I'm fairly optimistic .... There arc so many things in life that have built my faith. Its everything. It's every day that I wake up feeling kind of useless and something happens before the day is up that is necessary and meaningful By Eliz:abctlJ Solsburg

e've all heard that it may not be a good idea to date people with whom ~.-~_.....;;..;.__.._ __ __._...;:..::!~ you work, because it could become a distraction and cause problems if you break up. I'm certainly not in a position to advise against it, because my wife and I met at work. After all, the workplace can be one of the best settings to meet someone with whom you share similar interests, and to get to know one another better. However, you have to be careful with these relationships. In order to minimize any problems and potential animosity if you break up, you need • to be mindful of how you treat each other right from the start. Our 1 catechism and the Gospels provide excellent guidance when beginning a dating relationship with a co-worker:

11Abstain from sexuallnteracUons. for me and somebody else. ''I called my mother and said, 'Mom, I have never in my life elt so equipped for a job ever [as being the host of this show[.' 1 feel as if every day that! have spent with a Make-a-Wish child, every time I've tal<en my guitar into the lobby of St. Jude, every 1 Habitat for Humanity build that I've done, every green room that happens before and after a concert, people have decided to tell me their life stories and share very intimate details; ... because of the kind of music I've written, from the time I was 17 years old, people have felt comfortable opening up their lh·es to me. Three Wishes is meeting needs and when needs arc met, the walls come down between people. When needs are met, people allow themselves to be vulnerable. Things are happening that are important and necessary. These conversations are as familiar to me as getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. I am so glad Andrew and Jason lthc producers[ called me. I do think, in some very natural way and some very spiritual way. this thing was orchestrated in just the way it was supposed to happen." During this interview, Abby Castleberry had just gone into surgery for her second reconstructive opera· tion. Amy had gotten up early to ask her own family to pray. NBC is still footing the bills for Abby's surgertes and for the therapies and rehabilitations in other stories for Abby. Even if there is no viewership, those changes are very real. says Amy. "There arc no fingers crossed behind anybodys back nd there's no other foot ready to fall. This show is exactly what it is. It's an amazing usc of network dollars to do amazing philanthropic things in people's lives. "It's not about how much cash you leave in a town. Do you do something that affects a person or a group of people in a way that the effects arc long-lasting?~

(CCC 2353) Practically speaking, once you become sexually involved, the emotional attachment is intensified and any problems are magnified. 2 Get to know each other spiritually rather than sexually. Discover each other's beliefs and dreams. The act of chastity leads to friendship and spiritual communion. (CCC 2347) 3 Simply honor the Golden Rule. Treat each other as you would want to be treated. (Luke 6 :31) 4 Slow down. Working closely with someone can foster an infatuation, so don't ad rashly; be prudent and patient to see if a true connection develops. (CCC 1806) By keeping the relationship honest and chaste, you accomplish three things: • You determine if the two of you are truly compatible. • If you decide to break up, you reduce the risk of hurt feelings and animosity. • If you stay together, this approach will strengthen your relationship over the long term.

Furthermore, as a couple, you must realize that your relationship influences more than just the two of you. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which men and women comple· ment one another and support each other's needs. (CCC 2333) In other words, the positive or negative manner in which you treat one another will resonate throughout the workplace. - Tim Ryan

things to do Father Bryan Hehir, is scheduled to speak Fri., Nov. 18, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at SL Agnes Church, Fowlerville. He will address the life issues: abortion, stem cell research and capital punishment particularty as they involve the Catholic politician and Catholic voter. Call the Office of Forma· lion at 517.342.5666 for more information. REFRESH is holding a week· end encounter Nov. 11-13 in Brighton. REFRESH is for and about single young adults who want to know themselves better and revitalize their relationships with family, friends and God. Call Scott at 989.593.2850 or~ mwl refreshteam@yahoo.com for more information. Marriage Enrichment Evening, including dinner, will be held Nov. 11 , 5:45 p.m.·9 p.m. at the St Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt. Experience the Great Things of Msniage, including fun, friendship, intimacy, and spiritual connection. Led by Tony Sperendi, marriage trainer and writer. Cost is $49. Contact Tony at 734.678.4781 or tsperendi@globespeed.net to register. Sl Patrick School, Brighton is hosting its 1 1th annual auction

and dinner dance on Nov. 4 , 1 november readings 6 p.m. at Crystal Gardens in Tuesday, November 1 Howell. TICkets are $85 per Feast of All Saints person and proceeds benefit the (lroly day of obligation) students. Call 810.220.2738 Rev 7:2-4,9-14 for more infonnation or to purPs 24: 1·4ab,5-6 chase tickets. 1 John 3:1-3 Matt 5 : 1-1 2a Pure Style Fashion Show, a showcase of modest fashions Sunday, November 6 for teens, will be held Nov. 12 Tllirty-second Sunday In Ordinary Time at Crystal Gardens in Howell at Wis 6:12·16 either 10 a.m. or 2 p.m. There Ps 63:2·8 will be a brunch at the earlier 1 Thess4:13·18 or4:1 3· 14 show and a taco bar at the later Matt 25: 1·13 one. Call Pregnancy Helpline at 810.494.5433 for tickets or Sunday, November 13 more information. Tlrirty-tlrird Sunday in Ordinary Time Bible Study for the Sight· Prov 31:1 0·13,19-20,3Q-31 Impaired or Blind is held on 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Cost is $45 the second and fourth Mondays and includes lunch. For more inof each month, 1-3 p.m at formation, visit www.pmyer-in-moRiverfront TowenJ in Lansing. tion.com or call 734.429.7754. Call517.342.2500 for more information. Healing the Heart's Cry, a weekend of healing for women Vldorious Missionaries conduct mini-retreats on the third Sat· who are survivo111 of sexual abuse, will be held Nov. 18-20 at urday of each month for perBOns the SL Francis Retreat Center in with developmental disabilities DeWrtL Cost is $150 per person. and their famaies. Retreats are Call866.669.8321 to register at the St Pius X Parish Center or visit www.stfrancis.ws. in Ainl Call Jean Haines at 81 0. 732. 1068 or JoAnn Davis A contemplative retreat for womat 51 '7.342.2500. en, The Threads of Our Uves, will be offered by Sr. Suzanne Praying with Body, Mind and 8chom and Sharan Egan on Nov. Spirit, a program for praying 18-20 at the St Francis Retreat with the Scriptures, will be held at Center. Join them for prayer and Manresa Jesuit Retreat House in creative stitching. Cost is $1 25 Bloomfield Hills on Nov. 19 from 7-8:30 p.m. at St. Mary Pansh in Charlotte. Call 51 7.342.2587 for more rnfonnallon.

C·uholicAduhr·onn.-uion&F.ducalion

november cafe events Love and Responsibility Discussion Group meets on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month

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At the Heart of Prayer, a series of workshops for those who teach and lead others in prayer, w1ll be held at St. Francis Retreat Center in OeWrtt on Nov. 10, Feb. 9, March 2, Apnl 20. Each session is $30. Explore the process of developing a deeper, more personal relationship with God.

Jackson Region catechist Formation w1ll be held Sat., Nov. 1 9 at Queen of the Miraculous Medal Parish in Jackson. Topics include Jesus Christ, New Testament: Acts and LeHers, Liturgy and Worship and others. Contact Tony Shaughnessy at 51 7. 782.3609 for more infonnation. Lansing Region Catechist Formation Program presents a fall schedule of topics. Sessions will be held

Ps128:1·5 1 Thess 5:1·6 Matt 25:14·30 or 25:1415,19-21 Sunday, November 20 The Feast of Our Lord jesus Clrrist tire King(last Sunday in Ordinary Time) Ezek34:11·12,15·17 Ps 23: 1-3,5·6 1 Cor 15:20·26,28 Matt 25:31·46 Sunday, November 27 First Sunday of Advent lsa 63: 16b-17, 19b;64:2·7 Ps 80:2-3, 15·16 1 Cor 1:3·9 Mark 13:33·37 per person. Call866.669.8321 or vis~ www.stfrancis.ws. An Advent Day of Prayer is

being held on Thurs., Dec. 8, from 9 am.-2,30 St ........ Retreat Center. Msgr. William Frtzgerald (Filz)I spiritual director and Irish storyteller, will lead the day. Cost is $30 and includes lunch. Call866.669.8321 or visit www.stfrancis.ws.

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Exploring a Great Spiritual Pradlce - Meditation, a morning to explore the ancient prayer form of meditation, will be held at the SL Francis Retreat Center on Sal, Dec. l 0 from 9 8.m·12:30 p.m.. Call866.669.8321 or visit www.stfrancis.ws. Oct 24, Nov. 7 and Nov. 14 at St. John Student Parish in Lansing. Call AI Weilbaecher at 51 7.337.9778, ext. 24 or Al@stjohnmsu.org for infonnation or registration. Theology of the Body Discussion Group, sponsored by the Catholic Medical Association, is held on the second Tuesday of each month in Ann Arbor. Dr. Janet Smith leads the discussion. Call 517.342.2587 for more information.

We remember those who have gone before us, marked with the ,gn of faith:

Mr. Larry C. Alben Mrs. Wtlma Alben Damel- Danny Arambula Peter F. Atkms jr. Chfton L. Badgley Mary Kay Badgley Ronald L. Beldyga Sadte Ahsse Bergeon Thomas Boudreau Ahce Bucholz Net! Bucholz Lonmar Bunwetler jack L. Butler joseph Candela Loutse & Paul Chaney Bnan - Bernard Cheladyn Ketth A. Cunis Carlo DeVIta Baby Bethaney DeWolfe Mrs. Dorothy M. DeWolfe Mr. Rtchard F. DeWolfe josephine Doyle joseph F Durish ' onald F. Duso

Gary Etchman Rlchard j. Everest Msgr. joseph Fadden Mtguel Fernandez Cums M. FogULh Catherine Mary Fosdtck Gibby Roman Garbek Davtd Garvey Russell j. Giesken Wallace j. Goron joyce A. Gosbeth Marian Halm Leo D. Hellner Amy Ann Hill R1chard F. Hmman Herman A. Hoffman Jeffery A. Hoffman Daniel R. Horan Marie C. Hufnagel Walter P. Hufnagel Clarence Huhn joseph]. Humemk Donald A. lrrer james Ketth jackson Howard F. jeffery Mrs. Cecilia R. Kechak john Keyes Mims Keyes Walter F. Ktlian

George Roben Kirby Lynne Pearl Ktrby Margaret Adeline Ktrby Agnes Alfreda Klockziem Rebecca Sue Klockziem Robert Lewis Klockztem William Lewis Klockziem Anna Rose Koenigsknecht jerome F. Kramer Lambert F. Kuhr Jr. Roben j. Leadley Alyce Lemon Matjone F. Lindsay Derwin Loper Dorothy Lovell Janis Marie Marchyok john David Mireles Sr. Momca Helen Morrin Frederick C. Mulcohy Elizabeth O'Brien Francis O'Brien Joseph F. Olsansky Richard A. Pariseau Donald & Patricia Perkins Rayetta Marie Pesch james Plane john P. Ryan Thomas P. Ryan Valena K. Reynolds

Mtsty Rosefears Dame! Shaw George A. Sheridan llhomas Shewchuck Effie Sieczka Mary Simko james Steven Stmons Daniel V Smith john W Swagler Emily Elizabeth Szidik Mary Gwara Szlachetka Alvin J. Thelen Phillip jay Trimborn lilhan Urbanek Dewam j. Valhe Sr. Marion Van Stce Dorothy Vanerasian j ames M. Walters Michael j . Walters Darrell Wahher Jr. F. Alben Walton Bryan Wick james Dean Wtlhs Kathryn Wmes Laura Anne Wtzgtrd john]. lack Elste Zelenka Caroline & Larry Ztewacz Please remember these souls in your prayers.

Siena Heights students participate in World Youth Day2005

St. Vincent Catholic Charities opens its newly remodeled facilities

.._How did you spend your summer vacation? Several Siena Heights University students can say they spent their vacation with nearly a million other young people. Several thousand young people traveled to Cologne, Germany to take part in the World Youth Day 2005, Aug.1521, 2005. Among the travelers was a group representing Siena Heights University and the Adrian Dominican Sisters. Those participating in the week-long assembly connected with Catholic youth from around the world in a sacred spirit of solidarity and community. Siena Heights University senior Ricardo Valdez described his experience at World Youth Day as an amazing and energizing adventure. Ricardo said, "Being there reminded me that the Catholic Church is so much bigger than my home parish, the state of Michigan, or even the United States. I met people from at least 30 different countries...we had an automatic connection - our faith." Siena Heights University is sponsored by the Adrian Dominican Sisters. It offers associates, bachelors, masters, specialist degrees and theological studies degrees in part· nership with the Diocese of Lansing.

..,_ St. Vincent Catholic Charities (formerly known as Catholic Social Services of Lansing/St. Vincent Home) opened their new St. Vincent Catholic Charities Service Center with a blessing by Bishop Mengeling on Thurs., Sept. 15. Bishop Mengeling told the staff that, in the land of milk and honey promised by the Lord to his people, they were providing the honey of God's love for the people they serve. Following a service of blessing and the presentation of the keys and building plans, Bishop Mengeling moved through the newly-renovated building blessing each room. A reception and tours of the building followed.

Youth to Youth catholic Evangelization at World Youth 1 Day .,.. Youth to Youth Catholic Evangeliza· lion Teams (YtY) participated in World Youth Day 2005 in Cologne, Germany. This trip was the group's first time presenting catechetical sessions in a coun· try that was not primarily English-speaking. YtY also took part in Days of the Diocese by presenting a program on Aug. 15, in the city square in Bad Honnef, where a stage was set up. The people were very responsive and filled with excitement about Pope Benedict's impending arrival. Members of YtY were greatly honored and surprised when asked to participate in the Stations of the Cross on Friday evening, Aug. 19. One member read the English narration, two were asked to carry the cross for the tenth and eleventh station, and others were asked to hold flags of the nations. FAITH Mugu~inc

N()vcmbcr 2005

Right to Life Memorial Dedicated ..,_ On Sept. 11 , a Right to Life Memorial, designed and built by the Knights of Columbus, Charlotte Council 11875, was dedicated on the grounds of St. Mary Parish in Charlotte by Bishop Carl Mengeling. The bishop opened his remarks by thanking the Knights of Columbus for their impressive gift to the parish and surrounding community. He commented on the statues of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Pope John Paul II and Fr. McGivney, which are situated in the memorial. "Look to them for inspiration in your spirituallifel They are butterflies, who lived their lives, not for themselves, but for others. We caterpillars must learn to stop crawling about with our own petty concerns. The totality of Christian life is living for others. Once we learn this, we too shall become butterflies, and soar to the heights for others!" Pastor of St. Mary Parish, Fr. Denis R. Spitzley, thanked the bishop and all in aHendance for sharing in this special ceremony. The day ended with a luncheon reception. - Theresa Hurd

t 51 years of age, Harry Butler was well settled. A single father of one son, Kendall, age 11, Harry was a plastics fabricator who owned a comfortable home, drove a car he says was "immaculate," and enjoyed a full and busy life in the city where he was born and raised.

But that city was New Orleans, and now, Harry and Kendall live in a place they never dreamed they would visit, much less settle - lansing, Mich. Thanks to St. Vincent Catholic Charities, Harry and Kendall are piecing together a life that feels temporary, but in fact has been forever changed. The journey from the Big Easy to Michigans capital city was harrowing and heanbreaking. When Hunicane Katrina threatened offshore winds of more than 150 miles per hour, Harry assessed his risks but decided to stay in his home to oversee and protect his propeny. "l had ridden out storms before," Harry says. "We had had so many false

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Nowmha 2005

alarms in the past," Harry explains. "The storms always took a last minute tum one way or another. l just thought this was another case where it would miss us." While people poured out of the city or moved from their homes to the Superdome and the Convention Center, Harry and Kendall stayed put for three difficult days. "When the water in my house finally reached the box springs on my bed, we decided to get out," he says. Behind his house, they climbed atop a levee and walked it for two miles to the home of a friend. This house was vacant since the friend had earlier Oed to Mississippi. It was also dry

stifling heat was slightly more bearable. "I stayed up all night playing security guard, watching my son sleep," Harry says. "It was too dangerous with all kinds of people running around out of control." In fact, Harry says the infamous looters were everywhere, creating a sense of danger and insecurity among those who tried to stay in New Orleans and suf\ive. Harry and Kendall stayed put for seven days. When they had arrived at this home, they believed help would be imminent. But as the days wore on, they.. began to reahze that the ai was paralyzed by devastaÂˇ tion. ~we had no idea what really happened during the storm or in the days that followed ," he says. Depression set in. One day during this time, Harry decided to walk the two miles back to his neighborhood to ~~===:=;;;:=:::.~:..J check on his home. By now, the Oood waters reached the roof of his house, while his since it sits on higher ground. precious car sat submerged They stayed for seven days, stranded on a pocket of dry in the driveway "My son had land surrounded by the stench asked me to check on his pet and sorrow of a city tom apan. geckos. I had to go back and Naturally, they had no tell him they were gone," Harry says. ~That was the hardest electricity, no runmng water, thing. That:S when we knew and little food . The Red Cross dropped meal packets and we had lost everything." By the seventh day, Harry bottled water on some nearby railroad tracks, where Harry says they had waited long and others fought each other enough. A passing fire truck took them out of the neighfor the minimal rations that borhood and carried them to would keep them alive. At night, Harry covered the New Orleans Convention Center, by now emptied of the Kendall m mosquito repelthousands of e\Âˇacuees who lent and set him up to sleep had taken refuge there during on the front porch, where the By Mmybctlt Hidrs I Pltotograplty by Tom Gcnnan!

the storm. "When we saw how disgusting it was there, we realized we were bener off staying where we were. They took us right out of there and got us to the airpon, so we never had to endure those conditions with thousands of people.~ A helicopter ferried them to louis Armstrong International Airpon, where a plane awaited to take them to an unknown destination. "At first we were told we were going to Chicago," Harry says, "but when we landed in Chicago, the captain came on and said we were going to Battle Creek, Michigan." ~Yith no idea of where or how ( • is journey would end, Harry and Kendall buckled their seat belts for another tal<eoff. In Battle Creek, they received a heros welcome. "It was like we were on a football team and we won the Super Bowl," he says. "I never knew there were so many loving, eating people in the world." Harry calls his arrival in Michigan "the best time of my life. The place is like Mayberry, the town on the Andy Griffith Shom" After the chance to shower and eat, Harry and Kendall were taken to the Fon Custer army base, where they stayed until being resettled in Lansing. St. Vincent Catholic Charities took in nearly 100 Louisiana evacuees like Harry and Kendall, providing them with fully-furnished apanments ( (}d the suppon they needed to enroll their children in schools, find work and receive medical auention and social services. Harry sits in his two-bed-

What is the Diocese of Lansing doing to help? IJl+ As we went to press, the parishes of the Diocese of lansing had raised more than $435,000 for Catholic Charities USA (CCUSA), which is organizing relief to hurricane victims. CCUSA provides long-term resettlement help, including job placement, permanent housing, medical and drug assistance. • St. Vincent Catholic Charities has resettled lll evacuees into approximately 60 housing units. Read Harry Butlers story to learn more about how St. Vincent helped hurricane victims. • Catholic Charities of jackson has provided resettlement assistance to evacuees who were uncounted by FEMA . • Catholic Charities of Flint offers foster care, counseling, bilingual services, personal hygiene items and food. • Cristo Rey Community Center offers Spanish language interpretation,job training, counseling, food and medical help. room apanment, recalling his arrival in their new home, where the kitchen was already stocked with food and the beds made up for them, evidence of the care and comfort offered by his three sponsors. He talks about what it will be like in the winter. He wonders if they'll stay beyond the six months of support he will receive from Catholic Charities. "New Orleans is my home," Harry says. "They'll rebuild it and we'll go back.n His hope is grounded in a lifelong faith that has never failed him, not even in the face of Katrina. In the meantime, Harry believes God has a purpose for bringing him to Lansing. Smiling and slowly shaking his head, he says, "We'll just have to sec what happens next."

• Livingston County Catholic Charities offers counseling and critical-incident stm s debriefing. • Catholic Social Services of Washtcnaw offets storage, counseling, adoption help, Habitat for Humanity and household goods. • St. Mary Student Parish partnered with the University of Michigan to "adopt ~ a student.

k jude Parish in DeWitt_se_n_t-fiv_e_t_ru_c_k-lo_a_d_s_o_f_re_li_e_f I items to St. Vincent Catholic Cha_n·_u_·e_s·- - - - - - - - - 1 ---1

• St. Robert Bcllarminc Parish in Flint is waiving tuition for some resettled students. • Holy Family Parish in Grand Blanc was already partnered with the Alexandria Parish in Louisiana and will be hosting a drive in December. Their schoolchildren have raised $5,000. • St. Michael Byzantine Church is working with other aid organizations. • All the parishes in the diocese have taken up a special collection, and are conducting drives to raise money or aid.

Archbishop Paul Cordes, president of the pontificnl council Cor Unum, said after a four-day visit to a!Tected areas in louisiana and Mississippi that he was afraid "the superpower may isolate itself and stay isolated" in the wake of the natU· rat disaster. As a sign of his personal solidarity, Pope Benedict XVI sent Archbishop Cordes to the United States Sept. 10-14to meet \vith victims of the hurricane and with church and government officials. In a Sept. 17 interview \vith Vatican Radio, the archbishop said that, while he had seen "terrible scenes" during his visit, he had also witnesscd"gestures of great humanity." He said many people had been shocked by the discovery of poverty in the country- a poverty, he said, that in some places was "shameful in rich America.n He said members of the church had a duty to not abandon those in need in the United States. "It is not only our communio with members of our church and our human solidar-

ity: There is more that impels people to reach out to the United States at this time: he sa1d. "The weakness experienced by the United States in the face of this cntastro· phe" can "destroy our conviction of selfsufficiency,· he said. He said Catholic Charities had made $6 milhon available for rchef e!Tons from the very beginning of the disaster, but he suggested more was needed. He said his visit to New Orleans, Baton Rouge, La., Biloxi, Miss., and other places "awakened re· newed attention" to the need for additional humanitarian assistance. Meanwh1le, the worldwide Catholic charities organization, Caritas lntcrnationa· lis, announced Sept. 16 that it was to hold a think-tank session Sept. 20-21 in Rome

Give Katrina aid regardless of legal residency status, says bishop . . Slipping between the cracks of federal disaster aid programs are Hurricane Katrina victims who entered the country illegally or who are in the United States legally but arc here on a temporary basis. Under current rules they are ineligible for material and monetary aid under federal programs. Compounding the situation is the fear many illegal residents, mostly Hispanics, have that if they even seek aid they run the nsk of being de· ported. The situation has prompted calls by several Catholic or-

about how to boost its e!Tons in areas hit by the Dec. 26 tsunami. The Vatican-based agency said Caritas officials from India, Indonesia, Sri lanka and Thailand were to meet with other Caritas agencies to hammer out strategies to best utilize millions of dollars in donations for rebuilding homes, creatingjobs and providing assistance.

ganizations for an expansion of federal rules governing eligibility for disaster aid and safeguards that people seeking help \viii not be subject to deportation procedures. "In a natural disaster of this scope, we firmly believe that benefits and services should be provided to Katrina victims regardless of an individuals immigration status," said Bishop Gerald R. Barnes, chairman ofr the U.S. bishops' Committee on Migration, in a Sept. 20 letter.\...,; to members of the U.S. Senate. "Now is the time to serve our common humanity and not discriminate against victims of the disaster because they are not U.S. citizens," said Bishop Barnes, who heads the Diocese of San Bernardino, Calif.

Mississippi Catholic parish sheHers New Orleans group-home evacuees

unicane Katrina blew the roof off of our coDective complacency and denial, exposing the faces of poverty In our land. What better place to have an honest reality show than the Superdome, a coliseum that symbolizes our entertainment industry? IJke the ancient coliseums in the Roman Empire, we have found our collective way to avoid facing the truth about our drugged and complacent social .,.. ~God cominorder. Our society keeps the poor hidden from view. Katrina stripped ues to show up and away our denials. show out,Âˇ said When we realize that our relationships with others are broken, Dorothy McKnight ~isn't enough to simply give words of sorrow and regret More is as Steve Walton, a needed. Repentance, forgiveness and healing are all needed in order to make our relationships right and wholesome again. Our "hidden parishioner at St. Paul Church in Brandon, delivered lunch Sept. 13 to the clients and staff of Clara House of New Orleans. McKnight is poor" need restoration of their social and economic rights, and they program director of Ciara House, a group home that offers housing need to have their God-given dignity recognized and restored. w1th supponive services for adults in treatment with the Office of The process isn't easy because~ begins with an acknowledgeMental Health in New Orleans. Staff members and clients of Clara ment of sin, an admission of fault Swallowing our pride is a tall order House left New Orleans Aug. 28, as Hurricane Katrina bore down for many of us. Those who have an Imperial Self controlling their n southeastern Louisiana and the Mississippi Gulf Coast. When thoughts and feelings face the toughest challenge. The Imperial Self earlier storm had threatened New Orleans, Ciara House staff had believes~ knows all the answers and is always righl Our Imperial contacted the parish and made arrangements to temporarily stay Selves need to be dethroned. there. It proved unnecessary then. But, when Katrina threatened, Once the acknowledgment barrier has been removed, sin and the group from Ciara House again asked the parish for shelter. error have been openly admitted, and forgiveness both asked and With parts of New Orleans still Oooded, the group did not ........""" received, another major obstacle is faced. Will there be a sincere know when it will return there. "The generosity and kindand genuine attempt to change the way we will live and act with ness of the people here make us feel so safe and welcome, each other'? WiD the "firm purpose of amendment" be genuine absolutely," McKnight told the Mississippi Catlw/ic, newspaor will ~simply be words? Talk, after all, is cheap. Probation and per of the Jackson Diocese. behavioral change are costly. As bad as it hurts to admit we've wronged others, to adm~ that we've sinned, ~ is $3 million in missions money pledged perhaps more difficult to actually change the way we act, to hurricane-affected dioceses to change the way we treat the ones we've wronged. The temptation is to blame the victims. Another ..... The U.S. bishops' Committee on Home temptation is to lapse into finger-pointing and Missions received approval from the bishops' play the blame game. What is to be done after Administrative Committee to spend more than $3 blame has been assigned? The blame game is million from its reserve funds to dioceses dealsimply another form of denial, another ing with Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. The escape from reality, another block to funds will be spent in both mission and non-mission the restoration process. dioceses- a situation that required approval of the All of which ought to cause Administrative Committee, which handles the busius to pause and reflect on the ness affairs of the U.S. bishops in between their general value and meaning of asking for meetings. The approval, given during the Administrative forgiveness. Then we need to Committees Sept. 14-15 meeting in Washington, allows begin working at the restorafor aid to be distributed to non-mission dioceses, such as tion of our damaged relaew Orleans, Baton Rouge and Lafayette, La., and Mobile, tionships, both amongst Ia., as well as to mission dioceses in the hurricane area, ourselves as human besuch as Biloxi, Miss., and Houma-Thibodaux, La. Grants ings and in our relationships will be made to dioceses affected by the hurricane as well with God. as to other dioceses incurring substantial costs in offering - Fr. Ch:!rlos Irvin relief to hurricane evacuees.

For parish information and resources for returning Catholics: www.welcomehomesunday.com - or for a one·on·one conversation, call 1.877.82.FAITH•

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.faitt1. 209 Seym'"' A•<.

Lansing, Ml -f8933 Online:

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