October 2002

every couple

that gets

mamed

makes history

n Aug. 24 of this year, my parents marked 45 years of married life. 1 often wonder, when they married in 1957, if they had any idea of what the future would hold for them. There were their first jobs- dad as an en~ with General Motors, mom as a nurse at one of Saginaw!; large hospitals. In 1964, they finished construction of their first home and then suffered through its loss to fire later that year. There are two sons - yows truly and Mark, two years younger than me. There were the turbulent and busy years of school and college. Sadness would visit from time to time- most profoundly at the deaths of both of my dads parents and my momS father. There has been retirement for both mom and dad. More recently, there have been health challenges and the care of my momS aging mother. That5 just a little bit of the 45 years of shared life and love that have been part of my parents, covenant of maniage. Each time I witness the exchange of vows between husband and wife on the day of their wedding, I tty to help them realize that together •• •••••• •••• • •• • • ••• • they are opening a new chapter of history. Each cou· In a time when we have ple will follow a unique path, guided by God, as they made it easy for couples to seek to live out the promises they make to one another as throw in the towel at the they begin their married life. In my wedding homilies, I first sign of trouble, couples try to remind each couple of the promise that unfolds like the Mahoneys, the before them as they pledge their love to one another- for Johnsons and the Kruegers better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in show that couples can face health, until they pan at death. There is no way to accu~ and overcome a whole host rately anticipate what lies in store for any couple, but of challenges. every couple, trusting in God and guided by faith, can • I ... . . . . e • • • • • • • • • . e • live a unique and beautiful story. Bob and Jennie Mahoney have their own story of married life and love to share. Imagine, though, tackling the challenges of married life without the sense of sight. Bob and jennie, both of whom lost their vision at a young age, offer a beautiful wimess to the ability of wife and husband to overcome challenges that few of us must ever face. Married for more than 60 years, they worked very hard to raise a family of 10 children. Theirs is a beautiful and faith ~filled story. When it comes to marriage, we often say that opposites attract. That was true in the case of Vernon andjoanjacksonjolmson. For 32 years they have blended their many talents into a marriage that has raised live children and have supported one another through the inevitable twists and turns of life - and faith. They candidly acknowledge that their partnership with one another and their mutual reliance upon God have seen them through. Cheryl and Charlie Krueger have a unique relationship that has weathered many ups and downs, including a six~year separation. A marriage broken by substance abuse has been healed and their covenant has been reaffirmed. The Kruegers affirm that all things are possible with love and trust in God. In a time when we have made it easy for couples to throw in the towel at the first sign of uouble, couples like the Mahoneys, the jolmsons and the Kruegers show that couples can face and overcome a whole host of challenges. Their commitment to one another and the central role of faith in their maniages serve as an inspiration for all as our journey in FAITH continues. Fr. Dwight Ezop ls Editor In Chief or FAITH Magazine and pastor or lhe Calho\k: Community of Stjude, DeWitt

contents

From the Bishop

Marriage Triumphs

Couples Shower

George lopez

From ring bearer to parish priest to bishop - Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling reflects on marriage's most effective virtue - fidelity. And, he remembers lessons from his parents' marriage. Bishop Cart Mengellng 10

Opposites at first, Joan and Vern's maniage blossomed inlo a common I'TlissDl1o ~the poor. 19 I manied my ex: the Kruegers learned the value of love and tried marriage for a second time. 22

If it takes two to marry, why not include the guys in a shower? Three great ideas plus recipes. Culture 24

Comic George Lopez's serious side of faith has helped him and his wife deal with a difficult pregnancy: "If God wants us to be parents of this ch~d, we will be~ 30

In the know with Fr. Joe

Why go to a celibate priest for help in marriage? And, why does the Church make couples wait so long to get married? Fr. Joseph Krupp

e Journey

Is there reality in "happily ever after?" Dr. Cathleen McGreal

Spiritual Fitness

Ways to recommit to God and each other. Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

last Word

Why does true love wait? Bishop Kenneth Povlsh 31

Cover Imagine being married for more than 60 years, raising 10 kids - an impressive accomplishment in anybody's book. Now imagine doing all that while being blind. Find out how the ahoneys did it

S facts about annulment what is it

Most Reverend Carl F Mengeling PUB USHER

Rev Charles Irvin fOUNDING EDITOR Volume 3 : laaiHI 8 October 2002

really?

Rev Dwight Ezop EDITOR lfil CHIEF

Come back to the lire or the Church. Contact the tribunal or your parish priest to fmd out about a process that many say is very healing.

Annulment Inquiry Workshop: Nov. 23, 8:30 to 1:45 p.m. at Diocesan Center, Lansing. Call (517) 342-2465 or (517} 589-8487.

Patrick M. O'Brien MAHAGING EDITOR/CRI!ATIVE DIRECTOR

1 An annulment Is not a "Catholic divorce:' A divorce

Kathy Funk .UIISTAHT EDITOR

is the end of a contract. From our grounding in Scripture and theology, the Catholic Church believes marriage is a covenant - a permanent commitment between a consenting man and woman before God. An annulment is a declaration that the marriage covenant was entered into invalidly. 2 Consent Is key In deter-

Alton Pelowski a EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

CREATIVE

WEB MASTER

jillanejob SUBICRIPnONS/SECRET&IIY

Evelyn Weitzel SUaSCRIPnONS

Rev William Ashbaugh Douglas C:ulp Elizabeth Johnson Rev. Joseph Krupp Ronald l.andfair Patricia Majher Most Rev. Kenneth J . Pm~sh Duane Ramsey Carolyn Smith

mining a valid marriage.

These four factors must be present in a marriage covenant: • the good of one another • open to procreation and formation of children • exclusive relationship • understood to be indissoluble

cotmuaunNG WAITUS

Margaret Perrone PROOI'AEADING

Christine jones james Luning (cover)

3 The Church recognizes two types of marriage:

COHTRtBunNG PHOTOGRAPHERS

Wayne Case David Fenech Rev Matthew Fedewa Patricia Garcia Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone james Rhadigan Ricardo Rodriguez David Rosenberg Rev. james Swiat Peter Wagner Sharon Wimple

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1 Sacramental: between two Christians and 2 Natural: Non-sacramental marriage between non-Christians. The Church considers both perms· nent and indissoluble. No one can dissolve a valid marriage.

4 A Church ntbunal can be petitioned to determine the validity of a marriage. If the

tribunal determines that a marriage is invalid, an annulment is granted - the persons involved are free to remany in the Church.

annulments:

after an annulment Is granted. FALSE There are no civil impli· cations with Church annulments. 4 An annulment wipes the marriage away. FALSE Actually, "annulmentwis not a 1 A divorced person can1 good word. The Church grants rac:elve lhe sacramenls FALSE a Declaration of Nullity which - if he or she has not remarried. means that essential elements 2 It Is cost prohibitive to were missing on the day of the get an annulment FALSE wedding. It does not mean There is a fee but no one is there was no relationship. denied or delayed due process For more Info; contact the for financial reasons. Diocese of Lansing ntbunal 3 Children become OlegiUmate (517) 484·8870.

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t some point we all learn that the circle is the one geomemc figure that has no beginning or ending. That symbol, transformed into beautiful rings of precious metal and some times adorned wnh prectous stones, serves as a visible reminder or the commitment that husband and wife make to one another. In the rite of marriage, the blessmg and exchanging of rings follows the couple's vows. Husband and wife say to one another, ~Take this ring as a sign of my love and ftdelity .. . " Lmle btts of gold or silver take on huge signif-

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icance. An ever-present reminder of spouses· mutual commitment to each other, wedding ringc; also symbolize Gods fidehty to us, and God's steadfast willingness to accompany us on hre's journey

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From FAITH Magazine:

~e new e-mail

~dian angels:

~lnagazine just for

FAITH een

teens is here: FAITHteen

AIThteen is packed with features, questions and answers, teen 2 teen discussion forums, news and info on youth ministry and, of course, something from Fr. ~• joe. Its fun and its free. So, all t:.~ 111 ~ you teens out there, log on to FAITHteen.com and sign up today. Then next month, your inbox will be filled with faith: FAITHteen!

IFAITHt.,.., the e-ziile for t~ens. 1t's ~. free antf faith$ ed. Sign up at FklTHteen.com

FAITHmag.com Web Exclusive

do you believe could never in love with another person?

full T

..................

hat question was posed to a young man during a marriage preparation meeting after he chat· lenged the relevance of having to go to a priest for instructton. "If this person next to you were to break off the engagement or pass away suddenly, can you honestly tell me you would never marry someone else, especially since you arc so relatively young?" "Well, no," replied the man sheepishly, almost ashamed to make eye contact with his fiance seated beside him. ··So, then, maybe marriage isn't simply about the ling of falling in love with another person, but about a loving ommitment to that person -and commitment is something I do know something about," concluded the priest. Read the rest of Doug Culp's story only on FAITHmag.com

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fad.l ~ction

or wthful helpers?

ave you noticed that angels are everywhere? The angel fad that began a decade or so ago shows no signs of fading there are angel pins, angel plaques, angel apparel, entire stores and Web sites devoted to angels. There are even folks out there who claim to be able to ~ channel" your guardian angel- for a fee, of course. But in the autumn, the best place to find angels is on the calendar of Guardian angels are not the saints. Guardian angels have their just for children. EVERYONE own feast day Ocl. 2, just a few days after the late September feast of the has a guardian angel whose Archangels Gabriel, Michael, and job it is to help him or her Raphael. You may remember, as a child, along the path to salvation. learning a prayer to your guardian angel: "Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits me here, Ever this day be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide." But guardian angels are not just for children, and that's what this feast celebrates. By God's plan, EVERYONE has a guardian angel whose job it is to help him or her along the path to salvation. Even the Catechism of the Catholic Church spells it out. ~ From infancy to death, human life is surrounded by their (the angels') watchful care and intercession. Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life." There's something reassur· ing about the idea that God has entrusted us to the care of angels. In fact, it's one of their three main jobs. (The other two are praising God and acting as Gods messenger - you know, that whole "behold, I bring you tidings of great joy· and · gloria in excelsis Deo" we remember every Christmas.) Guardian angels have been pan of our faith history as far back as the book of Genesis, when an angel saves Lot and his family, and an angel intervenes when Abraham is getting ready to sacrifice Isaac. In Exodus, God tells the Israelites, "See I am sending an angel before you, to guard you on the way. • (Exodus 23 20) Angels were right there to help out prophets like Isaiah, E%ekiel, Daniel, and Zechariah. And in the Acts of the Apostles, guardian angels played important roles in the lives of Peter, Paul, and Cornelius. jesus mentions angels several times, including a reference to children's personal angels: "See that you never despise any of these Uule ones. I assure you, their angels in heaven constantly behold my heavenly Father's face." (Matthew 18:10) The feast o£the Guardian Angels began in Valencia, Spain, in 1411, as a local feast of the guardian angel of that city. But it grew in popularity and spread throughout the Church in Europe unul Pope Paul V added the feast to the: Roman calendar in 1608. So, for nearly 400 years, we've been able to celebrate the wonderful idea that someone special is watching over us all. just remember, don't drive faster than your guardian angel can flyl - Elizabeth johnson

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why does the Church make couples wait so long to get

in the know with Fr. Joe

mamea?

Dear Fr. joe: Why does the Church require nine months preparation before marriage? If couples feel they are ready, why is the Church making them wait?

the couple a chance to be exposed to the beauty of the Church's teaching. The testimony of many couples who practice NFP was enough to convince me that it can be an incredible, life-changing experience. If a couple is hustled through marriage preparation, they may miss this amazing teaching. And, frankly, a couple that feels they are ready for marriage may be w~ong .. Howt many umes m you, own life have you been sure you were right about something, only to discover you were not? Now, that never happens to me, but 1 have •••••••• • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• heard about it from people about marriage that are preensure the couple agrees with who come to talk to me. A that vision (at least in princi- marriage preparation prosented to us there. We have ple) and are willing to Jive it gram may help a couple been so "catechized" by the determine whether they are lV that nine months of as best they can with the ready or not. exposure to Catholic catech- help of God. Again, much Next question! esis seems nowhere near the same as 1 did in my preparation for priesthood. enough. You see, getting married in One of the best examples of Dear Fr. joe: Why should I go to a the Catholic Church is not to this vision is the Church's teaching on the life-giving be done lightly. The Church priest to talk about has a vision for marriage and aspect of marriage. Most coumarriage when a ples that 1 have met \vith do family. By marrying in the priest doesn't have not understand why the Church we are saying we Church has such a "problem" want to be a pan of that any experience in vision. So, in the nine \vith anificial binh control. marriage? They have heard of Natural months of preparation, Family Planning (NFP) only engaged couples learn about ot too long ago, 1 that vision - the vocational through critical and mocking was reading an anireferences in the media. aspect of marriage. It is in de in the Detroit Free Press. this preparation that we Marriage preparation allows

A couple was having some trouble so they came. to sec me in my office. After some time, 1 felt that 1 had discovered the root of the problem. 1 stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. 1 looked at the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment and then said, "OK, what time reat question! Let's take a look at a cou- do you want ple of ideas that will help in me to bring answering your question. her back First of all, like priesthood, tomorrow?"

...............

marriage is a vocation. Training for a priestly vocation is an eight to 10 year process. We study the meaning of the priesthood; we practice different elements of the priesthood; and, we take time for prayer and discernment so that we can keep ourselves centered in jesus Christ and His Church as good spiritual leaders. It's a long and difficult process that helped me tremendously, despite al1 evidence to the contrary. When we look at the state of marriage in our country, can we honestly say that more preparation isn't necessary? We give hours of our day, days of our week, weeks of our month and years to television and the ideas

Fr Joseph Krupp leaches al lansing Calholtc Ccn1111l and Is 1hc sacramcnllll mlnlsler or S1. Funds Xavier, Ollsvillc

............., N

what has kept . yourmamage together? In Familiaris Consortia, Pope john Paul ll wrote that marned love becomes purified and ennobled through time, and ts "the opportunity of offering to others, in a new form, the kindness and the wisdom gathered over the years ... To learn from their wisdom, we decided to ask roamed seniors in a rosary group at Sl Rita Parish, Clarklake, "What has kept your marriage together?" H

In it, a married man wrote an The reality is, we all have article about the priesthood. gifts of wisdom from two He had several thoughts sources: experience and about what priests should be, observation. Which one can a and he chal• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • priest offer? lenged the We all have gifts Both. You see, celibacy of despite the ferpriesthood. At of wisdom from expert- vent expresone point, he ence and observation. sions of denial asked, "How Wh'1ch one can a pnest · on my parents' can a celibate part, I was man tell my offer? Both. raised in a wife and me • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • home with a anything about marriage?" Is mother and father, some sisters there an irony here? and brothers, etc. I saw and I learned much about my experienced many elements of priesthood in the seminary. I married and family life. Also, have also learned about my in the seminary I was taught priesthood from the thoughts, many ideas on how to help 11'\teas and support of the larger couples that have proven effec~tholic community including live in my time at parishes. married couples, single folks, From observation and experiand other religious. ence, I have some idea of what

Whet do you think about marrlaga preparation? DIKU" on FAITHmag.com

"Honesty. No matter what. Even when it's painful." Gloria Hafner

"Perseverance, and love for our eight children." Delores Jonesz

"Love and affection, faith, and family." Bud Kennedy

married 49 years to husband]lm

married 52 years to husband Paul

married 53 years to wife Gertrude

works and what doesn't. And I I am also taking this opporam happy to share that with tunity to ask for your help. couples who ask. Would you consider helping By immersing themselves in the engaged couples in your the wisdom of • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • parish prepare the Church, By immersing themfor marriage? engaged couples selves in the wisdom of Contact your will find that priest to learn they are better the Church, engaged how or contact prepared for couples will find that Sandra Millar marriage psyat Family chologically, they are better prepared. Ministry, spiritually and • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Diocese of emotionally. Couples want Lansing, (517) 342-2471. their marriages to succeed, Enjoy another day in Gods right? Why not enter into it as presence! strong as possible? Send your OuesUons to: Once a couple is married, "In the Know with Fr. Joe" please remember the Church. FAITH Magazine We are here for you - please come to us when you need 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, Ml 48933 Or: JoelnBiack@priesLcom help. We all get by with a little help from our friends.

Baptism Part 1

Baptism Part 2

Reconciliation

Eucharist

r chrti~l)

Confirmation

p l

Holy Orders II

Marriage

Anointing

October

•

Read the whole f

~e:

a~of

ChDst5love

n his letter to the mystery, a sacraEphesians, Paul mentum (Eph 5:32). reminded his flock In the love of a man and that the love of hus- woman, united in marriage, we sec most clearly reflectband and wife was a ed the indissoluble bond

Paul sees love

Moses pennits divorce

due to the Israelites' ness of hearts "

~hard~

• Arranged rnarri8ges, polygllmy untillO BC when

Kingdom of Israel splits • Adultery ~en

because it VIOlated the property rights of the lhther or husband • Song of Songs (Solomon) a love poem between two lovers . . •llegory to the fdhful love of God • P'!fecl rel8tlolistilp is .one man

and one woman in love w..u A spouse calls the other back to

c:oveunt -1 3

of husband and

and fruitful love of the Bridegroom and His Church. like Christ, man and woman help each other to attain holiness, teach their children to know and serve God, and give witness to the love of the Father among the people of God. Man and woman minis· tcr this sacrament to one another. In the marriage rite, they exchange vows or yconsent" to give love freely to one another. They promise to be true to each other "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health .. . '' until death parts them. How

perfeclly this mirrors the love of God - unconditional, faithful. steadfast, sacrificial, compassionate. God is love (I John -1 8) and wants us to share that love with one another. Matrimony is a "sacrament of vocation." Too often. we only associate that word with Holy Orders or with religious life - one receives a "calling" to be a priest, deacon, or vowed religious. But most pro· foundly, those of us who have chosen marriage also experience a wcall." God wants us to participate in

P·12'-C8ntu... • 529 Code of Justln18n advocated permanent mamage, bur law allows for

• Pope Alex•ncler Ill (11661181) consent is true mar-

dluolutlon

Church l - . ., Jl • Jesus giVes a radical posi~ tion on dtvorce ~o~" M t9 .).9 • A wife Cllll win her husbllnd over to the Gospel by

her conduct ,.,.

• Priest or bishop begins to bless·the 1Uri18ge as a fam~ ily honor • M8rrfages moved from home to chureh • To avoid polygamy. ~ts

were to see If couples were free to marry Chrisoans many accoaiing • 1,000 mam ages in Europe become jurisdiction to their culture - divorce of the Ghurch not entirely prohibited • 110 Anlloch • Pnests eventually offered

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.must~get permisston from

onesbiShop to many Augustine sees

marriage as "sacrament~ like baptism - only once and

nupual blessings/Masses • 1140 John Gnttl8n

"TDecretum Grauanum~ consent made the mar~ riage, but it could be dissolved if not consummated

riage requirement • Pauline privilege no divorces except a nonChristian marriage could be dissolved if one spouse wants to become Cathohc 1_~·161"~

Marriage gradually becomes recognized as a sacrament Matter: reality of living the institution. Form: spoken consent of the spouses. • Hugh of SL VIctor (10901141) consent more Impor-

tant than consummation, I e.g., Mary and joseph • Duns Sc:otus (1266-1308) couple were ministers of the sacrament, not the priest

1 FAITHmag.com

"' h cJ t

c p ray i s ,,. h a L

His divine plan and to work for the building of the kingdom. In welcoming children into our lives, we share in God's work of creation. In every home, we arc the first teachers of those children the Good News is preached at the kitchen table; God is praised at bedtime prayers; and an understanding of God is perhaps best promoted in quiet conversations in the living room. Most of all, in our generous gift of self to each other, our children and our society itness an incarnation of

c /J c !1 r v (

the selfless love of Christ for humankind. In the midst of driving to soccer practice, balancing the budget, and eating meals on the run, perhaps it is good to be reminded now and then, that marriage is not just based on two people, but is part of a greater whole. Through the Church, each "domestic churchn is supported by the grace of Christ - He strengthens our unity, perfects our love, and is always present "in good times and in bad." a') For RHa lhlron's full article: FAITHmag.com

theology 101

.Nuptial .......Blessing ............. Father, by your power you have made everything out of nothing. In the beginning you created the universe and made mankind in your own likeness. You gave man the constant help of woman so that man and woman should be no longer two, but one flesh, and you teach us that what you have united may never be divided.

the world, an ongoing sign • 1439 Council of Florence Anglican Church prohibited cieoius that maniage is a saara- divorce until mid-19th of Gods presence • Edward century ment, divorce is prohibited SchlllebHckx we can 1852 Plus•IX union between Ghristians is a feel di\line love 1&-·20" centuries sacrament and an tHrough human love • Council of 1Nnt (15451563) affirmed marriage as a indissoluble contract; • Karl RMner sacrament, defined marriage ovil marriage is concu• marriage is an binage, not a sacrament incarnation of divine love as a contract between two 1880 Leo XIII reaffirms • 1989 Rite of Merrt.ge people for the purpose o£ marriage as _,__~ revised (funher creating and educating contract revisions 1991) children • V.tlam II • 1982 Pope john Paul Luther maintained better theology, II writes On,the Fllmlly that marriage is a natu· new rite • >1994 Pope john ral institution, so civil (new vows} Paul II writes a Utter law is more imponant • Gaudlum et.Spes (#48) to Femllles during the Year than Church law • Calvin argued that Scripture God is the author of marof the Family riage and has endowed passages allow two it with various purpos'lr'f\r_ounds for divorce es Marriage as :.Jidultery and desenion Even after Henry VIII covenant, not a consplit with Rome over tract. Marriage as sign issue of divorce (11.588), of mystery o£ Christ in

..................... Rita Thiron, associate director of the Office of Worship continues with Part 7: Matrimony

• ••••••••••••••••••••

Bishop Mengellng: "Weddings were one of my favorite priestly duties ... a continuity of pastoral care before, during, and after the wedding. That's because 'the wedding is only a day, but the marriage is for a lifetime."'

A young Bishop Carl Mengeling pictured here as a ring bearer for a relative's wedding

For this 8-year-old ring bearer and, I guess, for most girls and boys, Dad and Mom:S marriage was already "there," a "given." Perhaps a little awareness of marriage happened for myself as a ringer bearer at a relative's wedding, but more was going on than I realized. Later I became aware of the deep impressions my parents' marriage made in me as a child and youth. With the help of seven decades of hindsight, its great to recall these impressions and the pauem of their dynamic innuence in the daily crucible of personal differences and challenges of my parents' 37 years of marriage in this world. From first impressions and those of 37 years, 1 experienced and observed that fidelity was the most dominant and effective virtue in their marriage. It was the "glue~ that tied it all together.

Most Rev. Carl F Mmgcltng Is the founh bishop of l..aMing.

This appreciation of the primacy of fidelity in my parents' marriage was continually confirmed and strengthened during my 45 years as a priest. In my pre-bishop life, I was pastor for a total of 25 years in two large parishes. From 1971 to 1985, it was a parish of 2,000 families and from 1985 to 1996, one of 3,000 families. This meant lots of all that happens in parishes, especially weddings and, naturally, lots of baptisms. Weddings were one of my favorite priestly duties. Of course, it was the pastoral ministry for marriage more than the wedding itself. There is a continuity of pastoral care "before," "during," and "after" the wedding. That's because "the wedding is only a day, but the marriage is for a lifetime." Theres one song 1heard before most weddings in those years. It was almost a "must." It was the all-time favorite: We've Only just Begun. How true for couples on their wedding day who said "yes" to the power of Divine Grace transforming, deepening and uniting them in love as they became more and more married. Their continuous "yes" to each other in the love of Christ was the dynamic that brought to fullness the sublime words of the marriage rite: "You will be one in mind, one in heart and one in affections." On their wedding day, couples promise to be faithful to each other before God and

from the bishop

all assembled at the liturgy representing the entire Church. They will be faithful to the words they speak. In sacred consent, Catholic couples across the globe say: "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." Couples in the United States say: ~I take you for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." The rings they lovingly lace on each other's finger 'II be a constant reminder they belong to another. As the bride and groom exchange rings, each says: "Take and wear this ring as a sign of my fidelity." Fidelity and love are inseparable. Both are open to the fullness of marriage. Fidelity, too, is a many splendored thing. It is personal adherence to one's promises. It means keeping faith through one's self-dedication and devotion. It is loy· alty to another in an intimate relationship that is steadfast in all trials and temptation. At the nuptial Mass, newlyweds, and everyone else, enter jesus' way of loving fidelity. jesus' total fidelity, even unto death, and His being and life are at the heart of every Mass - "This is my body, given up for you." A usband and wife are to be the same total gift for each other and their family. At

every Mass, a couple can enter more into jesus' way of total gift. Popular song lyrics echo the human longing for true love and fidelity: You belong to my heart now and forever; I love you truly; All or nothing at all; Half a love never appealed to me. But there's the sobering strains of: I Didn't Promise You a Rose Garden coupled with a reminder: We've Only just Begun.

in 1923 and met a year later in the Chicago area. Mom was 18 and Dad 21. In the hype of the Roaring 20s, they were married by a judge in 1925. They had many differ· ences. Mom's family was from eastern Germany. They were strong Catholics and a closely knit family of 12 children - friendly, expressive, affectionate and generous. Dad's family, with seven children, was from northern Germany. They were nominal hat brings me back to Lutherans -industrious, my dad and mom. In thrifty, strong-willed and marriage and all vocations, reserved. For almost the first dozen fidelity is never cheap. Dad and Mom's fidelity to their years of their marriage, religion promises and each other was was mostly on the back burntested, proven and deepened er. Since Dad was boss, his as they experienced, accepted notions of religion won out: go and appreciated each other to church on the big holidays. During the 1930s, Mom's as a gift. strong and devout Catholicism They were among the millions who left war.ravaged was surfacing. Europe after World War I. A German-speaking priest, Both immigrated with siblings

does religion make a difference in marriage?

43°/o of all first maniages end in divorce ••••••••••••••••••••

21 °/o of Catholic marriages end in divorce •••••••••••••••••• • •

41 °/o who attend of those who had no religious affiliation were divorced within 10 years

church weekly say divorce is acceptable compared to 77°/o of those who seldom or never attend church

Fr. Leo Hildebrand, had a consuming mission: to get the many fallen-away immigrants back to their faith. At many Catholic and Lutheran parish picnics, he met with people. In 1937, Mom came back to the Catholic Church. Dad remained neutral and never participated. By God's grace, he became Catholic shortly before my ordination. There were great person· ality differences. Mom was warm, outgoing and empa· thetic. She loved people and made friends easily. She was hospitable and a great listener. Dad was the opposite. He was reserved and kept his feelings hidden. He was tight and always paid with cash. At home and in the yard, he was enterprising - a jack of all trades. It's too bad he never had the chance to visit places like Home Depot! Mom went along with his way but she was never satisfied. There was a "tug-ofwar" in the '30s when they bought our home on Lincoln Street. Dad had cash in hand for a wood frame home. Mom had her heart set on a lovely brick house on the same street that cost only $500 more. Dad would not risk going into such a debt. The many times we went past that brick home, everyone paused but said nothing. Yes, fidelity worked its miracle in this difference as well as many others. And, we were all blessed. D For more from Bishop Mengeling: FAITHmag.com

-2002.~PIII.~:I<m

Find W.b video Ue.fllla of Bishop Mengellng'a homUies end press conferences only on FAITHmag.com

FAITH Magazine

By Carolyn Smith

Ho.v'dthe Mahoneys SaJ ~manied

60yearsand ~JEe 1Q kids

Yktile IJiild'?.

Photography by ) ames Luning

Meet Bob and] ennie Mahoney of mast Lansing. He is 80 anctl she is 82. They are members of St. Martha Cat'blolic Church, Okemos, where tihey abtend Mass almost daily. They love each onher madly. Married for 60 years, nhey have had to work very, ve1y hard to raise 10 children. Why so hard? When t!hey tiecl. tihe knot back in 1941, Bob and jennie were totally blind . It may be difficult to imagine bringing 10 kids into the world and raising them ~o resp>onsible adulthood. But to <do so in the dark shadows of blindness would seem almost miraculous. This special couple did just tlhat. And it wasn't easy.

her voice, touch her hand, feel her cheek on mine when we danced. When I was with her, she was an oasis in a desert of darkness." With rent payments and a baby on the way, Bob took "that stereotyped job of the blind man," selling mops, brooms, and brushes door to door. He worked for another blind man at a company called Blind Product Sales, in Detroit, where he would remain for 12 years. He enrolled m leader dog classes in Rochester. After a month of training, Bob and his German Shepherd, Patsy, wem on their Detroit sales route, taking two or three buses a day. jennie gave birth to Gary, the couple's f1rst, and was delighted that her mother-in-law was there to help out for two weeks after bringing the baby home. The following year, jennie had their first daughter, Roberta. Their family increased rapidly with the births of Rosemary, Dennis, and Colleen in three successive years. Bob talks candidly about the hardships of raising their kids: uWhen our children were babies, they would literally have bells on their toes. jennie would tie little bells to their shoes so that when they were crawling around, we wouldn't step on them and we would also know where they were at all times. Sometimes,

Bob lost his sight in his early teens and jennie lost most of hers by the age of 3. He grew up in Duluth, Minn.; she came from a farm in Bannister, near lansing. They met at the Michigan School for the Blind in lansing, when Bob was just 17 and jennie was 19. jenme Kubinger was the valedictorian of her class where she became a demonstrator at reading Braille. She wem on to Adrian College, studying home economics. The daughter of a hard working farmer, blacksmith and salesman of farm tmplemems, jennie didn't have enough money for her edu· cation. So, she earned it by washing dishes at the college. After a year of courtship, Bob and jennie married, despite warnings from people who said they shouldn't. Two of them were jennie's parents. But according to Bob's book Living Out of Sight (1995), he had his own motivation: "I loved to hear

Bob as a young man with his leader dog. Bob was the first blind man ever elected to the Michigan House of Representatives. He made a habit of attend· ing daily Mass at St. Mary Cathedral with some fellow legislators.

You've heard of •books on tape- • How about "FAITH on tape"? Tlull'a rl11ht, tapea are pn~duced for the blind by the Dloceae of Lanalng Office for Peraonl w ith I

ur house just rang!" Bob also mentions that they had to teach the kids to close all doors and cupboards and to pick up their toys. "Many's the time jennie or 1 were severely bruised because of the inadvertence of one of the children." Because blindness is never inherited, their kids were all born sighted. Providing for his family was on Bobs mind constantly. He was selling door to door during the day and mixing and bottling bleach in his basement at night. He wanted his day customers to buy Leader Bleach by the case, complete with a picture of Bob and Patsy on each label. He signed up some 1,200 customers. The tricky part was siphoning the bleach from 30-gallon crocks. It splashed everywhere and the smell of bleach filled the entire house. Sales continued to climb, but Bob sold the bottling part of the business to a bottling company. By the time he paid the bottler, the delivery driver and the supplier, he wasn't clearing much money. So he sold the business. Bob's sales route got longer and his sample case got heavier. Eventually, he became more and more exhausted. His family doctor at Henry Ford ospital said he had to quit his sales job. Two of is heart valves were too damaged to continue the door-to-door work. As Bob recalls, "I was in a desperate Bob and jennie as newlyweds in Detroit The whole Mahoney clan - Bob and Jennie with their 10 children

state of mind. I was 30 years old with five children, an ailing heart, and my wife and 1 were both blind. What was 1 going to do? After all, I'd spent 10 years at door-to-door sales, trying to come up with a better career alternative. How was 1 going to come up with something overnight?" In a little while, Bob and his sister, Vivian, collaborated on a new way of doing business. They bought a cross-indexed telephone book and an oldfashioned Dictaphone machine. Each morning, ViVJan would dictate to Bob the telephone numbers of 100 of his former customers. He would call each person, reintroducing himself as ~the blind guy who used to call on you with my leader dog, Patsy. • Bob would tell customers about special sales or convince them they could use something else. He took the orders down with his Braille machine and gave Vivian the orders at the end of the day. She would come to Bob's house on Saturdays to help make deliveries. Bob was still looking for other ways to make a living. This led to thoughts of politics. .,.

ae t1pe1 .,. elso good for anyone who h.. trouble "'adlngsmall print or even to p..a the time on long drives Order FAITH on Tllpe at (517) 342· 2500 • $2.50 each

Bob felt very bad about being a hundred miles away in Lansing five days a week. He called jennie every night and just let her talk about her troubles and little triumphs. That helped. On a lighter note, Bob had a standard quip to those who often asked about his large family: "That's what comes from not being able to watch television!" He ran for precinct delegate in Detroit and lost. Two years later, the district chainnan urged Bob to run again. This ume he ran and won. His 12 years of door-to-door and telephone sales really paid off in grass-roolS contacts. In 1952, jennie and Bob added son joseph to the Mahoney clan. In 1954, Bob was elected state representative of the 11th District - East Side Detroit, bordered by Eight Mile Road on the north and the Detroit River on the south. He was the first blind man ever elected to the Michigan House of Representatives. Life had taught Bob lO be prepared. After moving to a Lansing hotel to start his new job, he enrolled in an insurance course at Michigan State University in nearby East Lansing. His notes consisted of tapes made on a heavy reelto-reel recorder. He didn't study enough and failed the msurance test. A Republican legislator who had his insurance license decided to help Bob. This time, he passed the test. But his legislative duties took precedence over any thoughts of selling insurance. Meanwhile, a son, Mark, joined the family in 1956. One year later, Bob used his insurance training to stan a new business, Michigan Notary Service. This was a mail-order finn that supplied seals and bonds to the states 100,000 or so notaries. The business is still going strong today. From 1958 through 1962, jennie gave birth to three more sons, Michael, Bill, and Robert. Though the older kids

Outreach to people who are sight Impaired

Deaf and Disabilities Ministry

The role of Catholic Deaf Ministry Is to:

Sr Marlene Taylor, AD, does outreach to people who are Sight impaired in the Diocese of larlS!ng. Here are some examples of her ministry: • Annual Retreat for the Blind • Scripture Study on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month

Joann Davis and Rose Smnh have taken charge of the Ministry with Persons with DisAb1liues and Catholic Deaf Ministry, respectively, following the retirement of Dr. Richard Strife. DaVIs pomlS out that she spells disAbilities \vith a lowercase d and a capital A to emphasize the abilities of people. not the disabihties. "I see my role at this pomt in my new position as an advocate for persons wnh disAbilities in their parish life," she says. "Our office provides resources, in-services, consultations, retreats and suggestions on making facilities accessible to all."

• Offer more signed and interpreted liturgies • Encourage parishes to provide assistive listening devices at parish functions • Coordinate religious education for deaf children/students • Provide infonnation on interpreters and make interpreter referrals for specific events • Sponsor an annual retreat for deaf adults • Consult on concerns related to deaf/hard of hearing individuals For more information on these ministries, call (517) 342·2500 or VISit

• FAITH Magazine on Tape for those who are

outreach to people who are blind, deaf and/or

disabled

helped care for the babies, jennie was discouraged and running out of energy. Her ninth pregnancy at the age of 40 was LOugh enough. When jennie was pregnant with her lOth child, Robert, she sought the advice of a visiting priest. Instead of consolation, the priest gave her a lecture on having too many babies too late in life and not exercising enough restraint. Some of her friends and relatives were not supportive, either. However, in keeping with the Church's teachings, Bob and Jennie did not pracuce artificial birth control. Bob felt very bad about being a hundred miles away in Lansing five days a week. He called Jennie every night and just let her talk about her troubles and little triumphs. That helped. On a lighter note, Bob had a standard quip to those who often asked about his large family: "That's what comes from not being able to watch television!" In Lansing, Bob made a habit of attending daily Mass at St. Mary Cathedral with some of his fellow legislators. With his faith as a guiding force, he would always harbor this belief: "Whether one is illiterate, mdigent, sick, old, or mentally ill, one must be allowed to have dignity.'' Bob's Detroit district had some 400 Blacks in a populauon of 80,000. During his 16 years as a state representative, the one issue that got him m deep trouble in his distnct was fair housing, to which 82 percent were opposed. He was subjected to countless phone calls, threats, and rock throwing through his home's windows. His sons sustained black eyes

sight impaired and want to enjoy FAITH Magazine If you or someone you know is interested in any of these programs or m helping those who are bhnd find out more about the Catholic faith . contact Sr. Marlene Taylor, AD, at (517) 342-2500.

www.dloceseonanslng.org

nd bloody noses. Still, Bob managed to get re-elected. Constituents in his heavily Catholic district did agree with him on two other issues: He supported Parochiad, which called for tax support for parochial schools. He opposed aboruon. As chairman of the House Policy Committee in 1972, Bob learned that busing was another hot issue. Busing was already the law, so Bob refused to take any busing resolutions - pro or con. His district took this as a pro-busing move because he d1d not openly oppose it. All politicians -even the drain commissioner - ran on a pro- or anti-busing platform. Many were fanatical. But in his heart Bob decided busing would do then what fair housing would do many years down the road. Bob campaigned hard but he knew this one was going to be tough. His opponent was a police officer with 10 children who won the 1972 election on his anti-busing position. Bob felt a little down, but not for long. He still had a burning desire to be involved in politics and in 1974 he was tapped to serve out a term on the Wayne County Board of Commissioners. Later, he ran for the post and won. When he ran for a second term, he lost- again to a policeman. In 1977, Bob became a lobbyist for the states ophthalmologists and later for the Michigan Hospital Association. The problem of separation from jennie again was worse than it was when he was a state legislator. So the couple sold the house in Detroit to their oldest son, Gary, and moved to a condominium in East Lansing. Bob retired from his lobbying duties in 1984. It took him 15 cars to write and publish his book, Living Out of Sight, from which were taken many of the details for this story. He plans one day to rewrite some parts of it and have it reprinted. In 1994, Bob had his two bad heart valves replaced with mechanical ones. No longer out of breath, he can walk a couple of miles a day. The couple now has 24 grandchildren, including three who were adopted. And they have five great grandchildren. When faith first contacted the Mahoneys, jennie answered the phone. Bob was at Mass and would return any minute. As we waited, jennie offered the names and ages of nine of the 10 children and included their ages that range from 40 to 58. Daughter Rosemary died of cancer in 1991 at the age of 43, said jennie. Their children all live in Lansing or metro Detroit. When Bob arrived home, he emphasized that reading the book would be helpful, "but the real meaning of the book is stated in its last five words. And don't you peek!" Knowing from the book that the family is still very close, FAITH wanted to get a perspective on growing up sighted with blind parents. Acting as a spokesman for his siblings, joseph Mahoney, the sixth child, was happy to oblige. He is vice president of finance for the Michigan Catholic Conference, in Lansing. He offered these memories: "When you're around my folks long enough, you get the sense that they're not really blind. One of us would ask, 'Where arc my shoes?' Mom would respond, They're under the couch."' Their mom was and still is a great cook. "There is nothing she can't make. Corned beef and cabbage on St. Patricks Day. Roast beef and mashed potatoes with all the fixings on Sundays. She would bake cakes on our birthdays and saints' days. The kids • Take our -kly online Poll only on FAITHmag.com

the reality

of'hap_p~y

everalfer

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ur wedding guests followed a winding road past a cemetery before reaching the church in which we were married. Mingling among our friends at the reception, my hus· band and I were surprised by the number of remarks concerning the gloom evoked by driving past a graveyard on the way to a wedding. Perhaps, with reminders of death so close at hand, it was difficult to picture young lovers riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Of liberty and limitation. Born in 18 74, G.K. Chesterton came of age in a society concerned about the rapid increase in "domestic liberation." In an article on divorce, Chesterton used the example of a house to illustrate his views. Windows were magical, capturing the "para· dox of limitation and liberty." Yet a home cannot be all windows, there must be walls as well. In other words, if you want a house, it will have walls as well as windows.

"Ever after" isn't a life of

sheer pleasure. Instead, it nurtures joy as wife and husband walk together on God's path to life.

•••••••••••••••••••••

Of walls. Marriage has structure, a firm foundation in Christ and walls of commitment. We even use the phrase, "They have a really solid relationship~ But some walls can be annoying! One may be thrilled with a new home but still wish that "there was a door" here or a "bit more space to move in" there. A cautious husband may seem like a wall to his "let·the-windblow-where·it-may" wife. She, in tum, may be perceived as an obstacle to his sensible plans for their future. Temperament and personality, childhood experiences and desires for the future may create "walls~ Learning how to negotiate around one another's walls adds depth to partnership.

And of windows. Despite their familiarity, the windows of one's home still offer delight. Subtle day-to-day changes blend into blazing red leaves, branches dripping with snow, the buds of spring. Windows in marriage show up sudden scenes of pure delight as well as reassuring scenes of contentment. Relationships are changing and dynamic. Take time to peer through the window of your spouse's soul - the view may be breathtaking I Through the sacrament of marriage, the Holy Spirit brings the kiss of God's love into a relationship. "Ever after" isn't a life of sheer pleasure. Instead, it nurtures joy as wife and husband walk together on God's path to life. Dr. Cathleen McGreal is a pro[essor orPsychology at Michigan State University and a certified spiritual director. Octobtr 21102

fA ITH l'.bg:utnc

Continued from page 17

from the neighborhood often joined us for dinner. She made us all feel special." "Mom and the kids would board a bus headed for 7 Mile and Gratiot. At the end of the line were a couple of department stores, an A &: P food store, and a Cunningham!; drug store. We would shop for groceries, maybe a few clothes. Often, we would stop at Cunningham's, head for the fountain, and enjoy a soda, ice cream or pop. Those were fun times. n "We grew up in a real family neighborhood. So we had a lot of friends and would often stay for dinner at their homes. Mom was always vigilant, though. She memorized the phone numhers of every friend we had!" "We all went to Catholic grade school at St. Raymond's in Detroit. Dad would sometimes go with us so that he could attend daily Mass. Our parentS' faith has always been very strong." "My dad was gone a lot. I have two kids of my own and I don't know how in the heck my mom did it! She always gave us a lot of love. I think Mom was a saint!" joes praise is reminiscent of his dads final five words in the book: "The real heroine is jennie." ;3

how to reconnnit to God and each other

ast year, my mother and father celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. We had a Mass and, during it, Mom and Dad renewed their wedding vows to each other. It was a very moving experience for my entire family. It helped us to think about and renew the vows and commitments wa have made in our lives. Renewing our vows and promises is a very powerful experience whenever it occurs. It strengthens the heart and clears away the chaff. It refines and purifies our intentions and our will. This past year, I celebrated my ninth year as a priest. I was with ttvee other men in the boundary waters of Minnesota who were thinking about vocations and life com· mitments. One was thinking about becoming a f3"iestt another was married and considering becoming a dea· con, and the third had just gotten engaged to be married. Each of these vocations require the gift of one's whole self. It was a great and deep joy for me to celebrate the Eucharist with al of them on my anniversary day and to pray for them and their desire to commit themselves to Goct I could not think of a better tine to do itl Christ's self-offering at Mass and His commitment to us empowers all of us to commit ourselves to Him. His love enables us to love in return. Love is at the heart of commitment.

spiritual fitrieSs

October Exercise For our Splrttul Fitness

to renew your marriage Vf1N8 on your anniversary day. Many married couples I know do so in the context of Mass where they can pledge •••••••••••••••••••• their love to each other, and 1 Morning self-offering then receive Jesua in Holy When you wake up, thank Communion as a reminder God for the day and offer that the love and life they yourself and the day to Him. share comes from Him. Pray: MThank you God for 4 Recommit your Afe this day. I am your servant to God riGht now Lord. I offer myself to you Say the following prayer. and all that this day holds. "Father in heaven, you have Help me to be your faithful created me. I am nothing servant, Lord. Amen." without you. I thank you for 2 Renew yow commitments everything in my life. I thank In the contul of . . . you for Jesus. Jesus, I want At Mass, think of all of your to be closer to you. With th life commitments and then help of your grace, I comm "l). renew them by an act of myself to you and your care. your will. Put yourself on the Take me Lord, and hide me altar with the bread and wine in yoLK wounds. Breathe into and offer yo~ self - your voice, your attention, your praise and your thanks to God. Offering one's whole self to God is never easy. One of the beautiful prayers that I me your breath of life. know some priests say is: Breathe your Holy Spirit into "Lord, may I celebrate this me, so that I may live and Eucharist in union with you, be aH yours. Take out my as though it were my first stony heart, and give me a Eucharist, my only Eucharist, heart of flesh. Renew in me my last Eucharist." a steadfast spirit and sustain 3 face to Ieee IW18WIII me. Keep me along your of • commitment paths and do not let me go If you have made a commit· astray. Give me a determiment to someone, go to nation of spirit to keep my them and tell them face to promises to you and to face that you renew your everyone that I have made commitment to them. If ~ special commitments to in ried, plan with your spouse my life. Amen: this Issue, I would lite to offer • number of w•ys we can renew our commlbnent to God end one •nother.

Fr Bill Ashbaugh l5 pastor o£St. joseph Parish, Howell

Vern Johnson and Joan Jackson johnson have been long time volunteers at Advent House Ministries in Lansing, working with the homeless and very poor. Together they are being given the 2002 Dr. Albert Wheeler Seeker or justice award.

He was tall, reserved and athletic - a

She was an outspoken Floridian trans-

member of the 1966 Michigan State University Big Ten basketball champions. A quiet, soft-spoken native of Saginaw, he arrived on campus in the mid 60s during the most challenging decade of the past century.

plant. Diminutive and direct, her presence demanded both respect and acknowledgment. She was Stokely Carmichael, Huey Newton and the Black Panther Party. He was Martin Luther King Jr., Medgar Evers and the NAACP.

I He was accounting and business management. She was psychology and therapy. He was numbers; she was people. He was and still is the "quiet one"; she was and still is the "clacker." He was, at the time, Church of God in Christ (C.O.G.l.C.); she was Catholic. Even though he was considered a BMOC (Big Man On Campus), she didn't know who he was. Opposites had truly attracted.

For daUy changing r.etures and delly Catholic news briefs, log on to FAITHmag.com

FAITH Magazine

Joan says: "Without the lord, we would not be where we arc and who we arc. You have to have Christ in your marriage." thing that we do together." They recetve awards from agencies, institutions and even the governors office for thetr good works individually and as a family. Yet, what they do and why they do it is rooted in their faith experience and in their vtsion of marriage. Joan's young faith life was quite different than Vern's. ''l grew up around the Baptist experience when l was a child.~ she explains. "My mother thought that when we became a certain age we should choose our faith ourselves. l was an illegiti~ mate child whose mother was on welfare. We were poor, but we loved each other. My mother was such a gracious soul. "God was my best friend when I was growing up and while kids were playing Cowboys and Indians, we would play Church and have Mass and singing. As far back as l can remember, l prayed two or three times a day when l walked to school and l really felt that God was with me." "Faith brought me through some childhood traumas, took me to college and on to grad school," continues Joan. â&#x20AC;˘rt (faith) found me a person that I would consider my best friend." You notice that its not very long when you are in their company that the laughter begins.

The hot plate had gotten quite a workout that evening. The cook, a struggling graduate student had prepared a full course meal for the young man. They had only recently begun dating, a somewhat unusual mutual attraction had surfaced- all the more curious given the fact that they were polar opposites in all respects save one. In their views, they had both come from dysfunctional families. That would be the seed they would use to create their mutual vision of "marriage" and subsequently of "family," one that is Catholic in thought, word and deed. In their words, "We passed each others respective tests!" Then, they fell in love and married. Vernon Johnson and Dr. Joan Jackson Johnson have sung their mutual marriage song of respect, love, family and faith together for 32 years. "We've made our marriage a partnership, where we support each other and our children,~ Vern says. "Thats really the secret of our success." "Its a team elTon," notes Joan. "Whether you are talking about our roles as parents or as marriage partners, it is some-

By Ronald undf3ir

I l'h01ogrnph)Âˇ by Chrislin~ Jones

crnon converted to Catholicism at the time their first child, Kobe, was born in 1975. lnOuenced greatly by Fr. Jake Foglio, Fr. Ed Lambert and Fr. Tom ~l McDevitt, Vernon renected on his decision and decided it v.t!A would be in the best interests of himself, his spouse and their family to unite together under one faith banner. "Those guys really sparked an interest into Catholicism," he explains. "just in talking with them, you could see that they were open-minded people, even though l was from another religious tradition. As a result, l became more and more interested in Catholicism. "The three of them were just a neat group of priests, and they related well to college students. We were still in the 'student mode' in 1975, because l was still in graduate school. That was a really interesting period in my life." "When I look back over that time period," Joan adds, "I marvel at the ways in which God worked, because l never thought Vern would conven, and l never asked him to do so. But as the Lord works, Vern decided that was what he wanted to do. It was just the biggest blessing of my life when Vern converted to Catholicism. Verns faith to me, as it happens to converts, can be just overwhelming." When asked to comment on each others best qualities as a marriage partner, Joan renects that "it would be Vern's gentle and calming spirit. His faith is not just strong but he is very disciplined. She laughingly continues, "When I grow up, I'm going to be like Vern. l pray from the bed sometimes, but he gets up every morning around 5 a.m. and reads Scripture and ~ prays. We go to Mass together on Friday mornings and go t~ perpetual adoration together as well. "His faith, and his strength as a Black male, considering N

I:J l l :..

all that he has gone through arc so inspiring. When he was in college, his family was not a support for him. They would not accept collect phone calls from him. He even shoveled manure when he was a student at MSU to earn money.~ ~when l was in college, you had to wear a suit or a tic and a jacket to dinner on Sunday for the team meal," Vern recalls. "l missed quite a few meals before a friend of mine named Allan Cheeks loaned me a blazer and tie. He never said anything about it to anyone else. He even gave me things to wear when we traveled on the road. "l always thought that God was guiding me because of all the land mines that occurred in my lire. God guided me through those and did not let me get blown up. God guided me to joan. She had all the qualities that I was looking for." They both have helped their relatives immensely, financially as well as numerous other ways, but both are quick to acknowledge that it is their privilege and method to repay their debts m some small way that keeps their marriage steady. joan observed, "Without the Lord, we would not be where we are and who we are. You have to have Christ in your marriage. Every Sunday morning. we start our prayers by serving breakfast at Advent House to about 150 people

2(00)2 Seekers

of~ce aWdtd winners

hclothepoor at .Aavmt

House

Ifyou are inlf:rested in die Catbo1ic Ompdgn for Human~ oontaa Barb Pott at

(517) 342--2470

Catholic Campaign for Human Development "Vern Johnson and Joan Jackson Johnson have been long time volunteera at Advent !"louse Ministries in Lanaing working with the homeless and very poor. Together they ara being given the 2002 Dr. Albert Wheeler Seeker of Justice award;" says Barb Pott, diocesan cirector of the Catholic Campaign for HumanrOevalopment and Cathoic Relief &rvices. "The Johneons ara able to recruit volunteers for Advent House M"10istries who would not come into contact with the homeless otherwise such as judges and.various leaders in the community. They help raise awareness of the we/l·to-do by bringing them to volunteer at Advent House where these volun· tears come to know the peo-

J, I l.l

who are perhaps less fortunate than ourselves." To this day, Dr. joan jackson johnson and Vernon continue to walk, laugh, love, and live their faith together. They remain close to their children: Kobe, Mark, Nicki, Angela and Candace. Through it all, their faith in God and each other has been the sustaining entity through serious illness, as parents, as individuals, and as marriage partners. "I don't know if l could say that he was my best friend when I married him," joan says, "but l certainly can say that he is 32 years later, as we celebrate our wedding anniversary. We are opposite in a lot of ways, but its been a nice balance for our kids. We complement each other. We've had our struggles, our highs and our lows, but l think our kids realize that our religion is very important to us and its been a central pan of our lives, of their lives, and or our family." And certainly, their marriage as well. 9

pie they serve; some·volun· tears take time to visit with the clients and.get to know them. The clients become famJiar with community leaders which results in a diminishment of perceived aiid real barriers in the community for them~

According to ?ott, the Or: Albert vvtieeler Seeker of Justice award is given annually to an individual'or an organization that effects extraordinary changes toward a more just society though living the gospel1of peace and justice. The criteria for wiming the award include: • The person has a clear conurutment to social justice. • The person has worked for mstitutional change, especially as tt regards enabling and empowering low-income people. • The person lives in the Diocese of Lansing and his

FAITHhelpl 11 • free online Ieeming complllllon to fAITH. Sign up only on FAITHm•g.com

or her work has had an impact m lhe d1ocese. ltfe or she does not have to be Catholtc. The award was established in 1Q Q 1 to mark the international celebration of 100 years of Cathoic social teaching. The first award was given to Dr. Albert Wheeler, a founding mem· ber of Catholic Campaign for Human Development, and was named in his.honor. Vern and Joan will receive the award, presented by Bishop Carl Mengeling, on Thursday, Nov. 7, at the Annual COHO Celebration of Justice Dinner at the Lansing Diocesan Center. For further information, contact Barb Pott at (517) 342-2470.

Octnhrr 2002

FAITH Magazine

The Kruegers teamed the value of marriage and faith In God the second time around: "I didn't leave him because I didn't love him," says Cheryl, who divorced Charlie in 1996. "At the time, my hurting, confused human heart failed to trust in God:S almighty ability."

•

Charles and Cheryl Krueger have a unique marital relationship that has weathered many storms, including a separation of six years. It is now stronger than ever and primarily based in their faith and love of God, according to the couple from Brighton. Both were born and raised Catholic in the Detroit area, Cheryl in Rosedale Park and Charles in northwest Detroit. A mutual friend introduced them in january of 1974 when Cheryl was graduating from nursing school and Charles was becoming an electrician. Following a relationship of more than three years, Charlie and Cheryl were married Sept. 17, 1977 at the Mercy Center in Fannington Hills by Fr. Tim Babcock of St. Eugene Parish . Charlie worked as a construction electrician in southeastern Michigan through the Detroit Chapter of the International By Duane Ramsey I Photography by Christine jones

Brotherhood of Electrical Workers. Cheryl worked as a registered nurse in the area. The couple had three children over a period of 10 years - Colleen, Cory and Patnck. With three children at home, both parents worked to provide for their family. Charlie thought working hard and long hours to provide for his family was a "good thing," he says. Unfortunately, along the way he developed a substance abuse problem with alcohol. "It was a difficult time for both of us. We knew it was a problem and thought we were doing the tight thing to resolve it," Cheryl now says. "It ran the gamut and was a textbook case of the devastating effect it (substance abuse) can have on people." Charlie was in treatment three times but was unable to completely overcome it. Although they were seeking the proper treatment for it at the time, they tried to rely on themselves and didn't surrender to a "Higher Power." "I didn't leave him because l didn't love him," says Cheryl, who divorced Charlie in #.t 1996. "The separation was my decision as I ~ 1 finally realized that I couldn't do any more. At the time, my hurting, confused human heart failed to trust in God's almighty ability." Cheryl continued to work with three children at home. Colleen was an adolescent and the boys were still in pre-school. The couple remained amicable throughout the separation, sharing custody of the children. •Each expected the other to be clairvoyant but we had a lack of communication and missed the boat building a relationship," Cheryl explains. ~~ finally realized when l was trying to fix myself that I was trying to fix her, too. You can't ftx the other person. It just doesn't work that way," adds Charlie. "Living independently, we eventually became friends during the separation, taking each other out from under the microscope." "Charlie never gave up hope that we'd get back together," says Cheryl. "I always wished we could get back together," he admits. ·we both worked on ourselves during that time and were both humbled by what the other accomplished. "I was pointed in the faith direction when I saw what she was doing to survive. She was using her faith to do it." "What you saw was jesus Christ carrying me. It was . Christ that held me together," Cheryl says. "It was almost like we were too important to each other, putting each other before God. Our priorities were out of whack," says Charlie.

Cheryl was surprised when Charlie asked her to remarry him in july of 2000. She accepted the ring, but wasn't quite ready to commit to him again. Their relationship continued moving forward for more than a year.

he Kruegers attended counseling together for 10 •• months and continued working on their relationship through a 12-step recovery program. They also credit a third party, Livingston County Catholic Social Services , for contributing significantly to their success. Cheryl attended a weekend retreat for the Christ Renews His Parish program in September, 2001. This approach to adult formation in the Church works miracles in people, she believes. "I went into it looking for God's will and it was absolutely a life-changing spiritual experience for me. It was the catalyst that established my total trust in jesus Christ and allowed me to commit to Charlie again. I realized in my heart that my treasure was at home with my family." "1 had one of those moments of clarity," she continues. "I realized that it was a greater risk not to trust God and not to commit to Charlie than being afraid to marry him again." Charles and Cheryl remarried after six years of separation. • he Catholic Church still considered them husband and wife, nee it doesn't recognize civil divorce and neither had remarried. They renewed their marriage vows in the chapel at St. Patrick Church in Brighton Feb. 19, 2002, with Fr. Dan McKean presiding. That date was the wedding anniversary of Cheryl's parents, so it has special meaning to the family. After having their parents apart for so long, the children had to adjust to having them together again. It hasn't been easy for both sides, according to the couple. "We're hoping they will see that lifelong commitment and love is worth working on," Cheryl says. "People want to be rooted in spirituality and basic moral values. Unfortunately, it's our generation that lost it, but it's also our generation that appears to be reining it in." "The message is there's hope even after all hope seems gone," says Charlie. "Even after ruin, you have to start over somewhere. Hopefully, it's with good and right, but you've got to trust God first." The Kruegers believe that so many couples who are divorced or separated "just don't know how not to be." They need to seek help somewhere from counseling or a riest, but especially '"om God. Both ·agree that "it's all worth it when you love and trust God." 33

does getting out

of an unhappy maniage make you~ppier?

of those who remained in an unhappy marriage say they are happily maniedl5 years later

resources to fix

SOO;b of those who rated their marriage as "very -unhappy'' 5 years ago yet stayed togethet: now mte their marriage as "liappy' • ••••••••••••••••••• of\~ who divoitid aiid remmied ~

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your marriage

J•c:klon County: (517) 782·211111

From Catholic Social Services:

From St Francis Retreat Center:

o Man1age and family counseling: with trained professionals.

• Retrouvallle: A special retreat week· end to heal troubled marriages. Contact: St. Francia Retreat Center (866) 669· 8321. Feb 14·16, 2003; May 16· 18, 2003; Aug 22-24, 2003, Each week· end haa 6 evening follow·up aeaaiona.

Len- County: (517) 283·2181 W.lhl•n- County: (734) 971-9781 Sh..__ A a.-: (810) 232-8850 Ltvln;1ton County: (517) 546-11844

~~our

~before

it gets m nuuble Parish Based Marriage Programs: o FOCCUS: helpe engaged cooplea look at their compatibility. • reFOCCUS: helps married couples look at their compatibility. • Contact your parish priest for more info or for oniHlfl-one peatoral care.

Catholic Social Services!

• We Care Cammunlcallons Program: Six hour communication skill building claaa. For married couplee, contact Sancka Mill• (51 7) 3422471. For engaged couples, cxnact Catdc Social SeMcea.

Llln1ln;: (517) 272•1524

other Programs:

• Man1age Encounter: to enrich marriages with a weekend ratreat: Bill and Jennifer Walsh, (877) 743·36 15. Or visit the Michigan Chaptenl of Marriage EncounterWebail8: ~ o Engaged Encounter: a weekend designed to give engaged couples an opportunity to apeak together honea~y about their future life together. www.EngagedEncounter.org Diocese of Lansing Family Ministry: o Building Brldges: a remarriage program for cooplee who are entering into aecond marriages. • For more Information on marriage enrichment programs contact: Dloceae of Lansing Family Ministry Sandra Millar (517) 342·2471 or ..mall srnllla@dloceseoftanslng.org

Ocrobcr 2002

FAITH Magazine

I'm game ifyou are ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Whafs a wedding shower withoUt a few games to play? To make it more fun for the men, set aside the bndal bingo cards and instead test the guests' knowledge with a quiZ about the bride- and groom-to-be. How did they meet? Where did they go on their first elate? Whos the better cook? These are some of the questions you could ask. Or play a board game like Pictionary.with the men on one side and the women on the other. Or develop a list of words associated with weddings - husband, wife, cummerbund, limousine, deejay, bouquet, etc. - and scramble them. Then give your guests·two or three minutes to figure them out. The person with the most correct answers wins !

things to do A Garden of Resources he problem with marriage and raising children is that no one really gives you a manual on what to do. Sure, there are marriage prep courses but what do you do when you find out your new spouse cannot and will not put the cap back on the toothpaste no matter how many times you ask? (And what about that snail trail of laundry that just can't seem to make its way to the hamper, much less the washing machine?!) The same is true when the hospital places that newborn bundle of joy into your anns. Sure, you can learn to master middle of the night diaper changes and feedings, but what do you do to help that new little person grow up to be a responsible, caring, spiritually-founded adult? The answers to these questions and more including some tasty recipes - can be found in a book compiled and written by the women of Christ the King Parish, Ann Arbor, and Nancy ligeski entitled A Garden of Resources. 1 wasn't quite sure if the book would be suited to me because the cover states it is ~For the Young Catholic Wife and Mother." Well, I don't feel so young anymore but in tenns of marriage and children, I guess I qualify -

Masses for the deaf com· munlty will be celebrated by Fr. Mike Depcik, OSFS, at the following parishes during Garden of Resources provides October: • St John the Evangelist, many more instances Fenton, at 9:30am. Sunday, besides sitting beside the bed of a sick child - to pray Oct. 6, 20 and 27. Masses will be celebrated in the chapel. for your offspring. • St. Francis of Assisi, Ann A Garden of Resources moves on through such top- Arbor, at 6:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 19 and 26. Masses will ics as discipline, encouraging children, respect for the be celebrated in the Day father, and ways to encour- Chapel on the lower level. age and motivate your hus- • St. Mary Cathedral, lansing, band. There is even a chap- at 3 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 20. ter devoted to the ~H" word All are welcome to attend. Fr. Depcik is chaplain for the - hormones! The chapters Cathofic Deaf Community of that were the most intriguthe Diocese of Lansing. ing to me involved family

I've been a wife and mother for less than 10 years. Then I read the preface in which Ugeski states: "About three years ago, the Lotd staned prompting me to compile a book for young wives and and seasonal traditions. mothers that would have Since I am not the product words of encouragement, of a Catholic family - I conideas, practical help, and the verted in college - I don't wisdom of those women who have a lot of background to have been there and gone go on in terms of traditions. beyond that stage of life. Now, I can glean some tradiAt this time in my own life, I tions for my own family that realized how very little I knew hopefully my son will carry and how much I could benefit on when he becomes a husfrom my older and more band and father. mature sisters in Christ." There's a little something And Ugeski succeeded in for everyone in A Garden of doing just that. The pages of Resources. So, the next time A Garden of Resources are you need a shower gift £Hied with words of wisdom either for a bride or a new from women who met the mom -you can rest assured following criteria: age 45that A Garden of Resources plus, married for at least 20 will become an invaluable years, and the mother of at tool. (My well-worn copy has least one adult child. a pennanent place on my The book begins with a bedside table. I'll need to bang - Prayingfor Your refer to the chapter on Children. I think the first teenagers all too soon!) time I realized how imporEditor's Note: You can order tant prayer was to me as a A Garden of Resources at mother, and to my son, was www.agardenofresources.com, late one night when nothing or by calling (734) 484-4554. would keep his temperature Profits made from the sale of from rising - not even the book wifi be given to the Advil~. God answered by building fund of Christ the lowering the fever. But A King Church. - Jc.uhyfwnh

Theology on Tap will be held Thursday, Oct. 3, at Trippers Sports Bar, lansing, from 7p.m. A speaker will address issues of faith for young adults, followed by informal discussions. Trippers is located 354 Frandor. For infonnation, call Single and Young Aduh Ministry at (517) 342-2494.

Artists Robert and Sharon long will conduct a three-day

watercolor painting work· shop at the Lansing Diocesan Center Oct. 3-5 from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. The cost is $60 per day, or $30 per half day. All necessary painting materials will be provided. For information, call Bob LaPrad at (877) 342 2513.

St. John Student Parish, East Lansing, invites all Catholic Michigan State University students to a Fall Student Retreat Oct. 4·6. The weekend is a time of prayer fellowship, food and outdoor fun. For registration

community

information, e·mail the parish office at stjohnsp@msu.edu The Beginning Experience of lansing will offer a spiritual weekend for widowed, dlvon:ed and separated persons Oct. 4-6 at the St Joseph Center of Jackson. The weekend is designed to help those who have suffered the loss of a spouse with guidance from a trained team of peers. Preregistration is necessary. For infonnation, call Mary Jo at (81 0) 229-Q040. Respect Life Sunday is Oct 6. Respect Ufe Sunday is a day to commit to read· ing, praying, studying and living the Gospel of Ufe. "No one is a master of life; no r one has the right to manipulate, oppress or even take life, neither that of others or his own," said Pope John Paul II in his Angelus Address Feb. 3, 2002.

The annual Curslllo Harvest Celebration will be held Sunday, Oct. 6, at St. John the Evangelist, Jackson. Mass will be celebrated at 2 p.m., followed by a potluck meal. For information on the event or the Cursillo movement, contact Maria Jaimez at {800) 666·8852 or www.lansingcursillo.org The Catholic Deaf Ministry for the Diocese of Lansing is hosting two events during the month of October: • A Deaf Catholic Retreat will be held at the De Sales Center, Brooklyn, Oct. 11 · 13. • A pilgrimage to the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception

is planned for Oct. 14·18. For infonnation on these events or the Catholic Deaf Ministry, contact Rose Smith at (51 7) 342 2500 or TTY (517) 3422532; or Fr. Mike Depcik, OSFS, at depcik5@aol.com Singles Sunday (for singles ages 35·55) will be held Sunday, Oct. 13, from 3-7 p.m. at Holy Redeemer Parish, Burton. Fr. Bill lugger will be the presenter. Dinner wiD also be included. For information, call Singles Ministry at {517) 342-2494.

The 9oth anniversary of the Catholc Women's Club, serving the greater Lansing area, will be celebrated Thursday, Oct. 17, at the Brookshire Inn of Williamston. The event will begin at 12:30 p.m. The Catholic Women's Club meets once a month for a luncheon, business meeting and program. The club also contributes to local charities with proceeds from an annual card party. For membership infonnation, contact Peg Gordon at (51 7) 371-1141 . Catechetlcal Saturday

2002- Livi11gjor the Lord will be held Saturday, Oct. 19, at the Lansing Center. More than 800 parish and school catechists, directors of reli· gious education, coordinators of youth ministry, principals, RCIA directors, parish adult education leaders and interested parishioners will be in attendance. Doors open at 7:45a.m., with an opening prayer service at 8:45 a.m. FoDowing will be a keynote presentation by Kate Ristow, a national religious education

FAITH Is available on audiotape by request. Call (517) 342·2500.

consultant and presenter. The event will also feature more than 50 workshops dealing with faith fonnation for adults, teens and children. Participants will have an opportunity to visit exhibits of the latest catechetical program materials, print resources, audiovisuals and computer software. A registration fee of $49 includes a continental breakfast and lunch. A 10 percent discount will be offered for 10 or more regis· trants from the same parish if received by Oct. 3. Registrations after the Oct. 3 deadline will be $54. Contact your parish director of religious education, coordinator of youth ministry, school principal, or parish adult education leader for a registration brochure, or call {517) 342·2484.

October 8 Twtnty-Scvtnth Sunday In Omlruuy Time Isaiah 5:1· 7 Paalm 80.9, 12·16, 19·20 Philippillna 4:S.9 Mallhew 21 :33-43 October 13

Twmty-Eiglttlt Sunday In OmlnaryTime

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Isaiah 25:6-1 Cia Paalm 23: Hi ~ Ptlil'!ppiana 4: 12•14, 19·20 Mallhew 22:1-14 or 22:1-10 October20

Twt:flty·Nintlt Sunday In Omlnary Time Isaiah 45:1, 4-6 Paalm96:t,3-5, 7,10 1 Theeealonians 1: t ·5b Mallhew 22:15·21

October27 Thirtieth Sundlly In Ordinary Time Exodua 22:2().26 Psalm 18 :2-4, 4 7, 51

1 Theeaaloniana 1:5c-1 0 Matthew 22:34·40

A Holiday Bazaar will be held Saturday, Oct. 26, at St Agnes Parish, Fowlerville, from 9 am.-4 p.m. The bazaar will feature crafts, baked goods, a quilt raffle, silent auction and attic treasures. For information, contact the parish at (51 7) 223·8684.

Youth to Youth Catholic Evangelization will sponsor a Uturgy for teenagers and young adults Saturday, Oct. 26, at 7:30p.m. at the Mt. Zion Catholic Pastoral Center, Rushing. For infonnation, call (810) 639-7175.

natural family p1anning

• Natural Family Planning Program: teaches Billings

Natural Family Planning (NFP) programs were created to educate couples about the purpose and improved science and accuracy of healthy, effective ways to plan and strengthen famtlies. Ftnd out more, and join the many who have benefited from NFP. www.FAITH~~U~g.Cam ~---

I '

Ovulation Method classes throughoul the diocese. Cal (517) 342·2587 or e-mail nfp@dioceseoflansing.org • Couple to Couple League: teaches Sympto· Themtal Method classes. Call (517) 374·7908 For articles on NFP; log on to FAITHmag.com and click FAITHiife.

OciObtr 2002

FAITH ~~:in(

63rdAnnual Kateri

Tekakwitha Conference in Lansing

UAW brightens

......................................................... attheDuKette playground

ore than 2,000 peopie from all over the United States, as well as Mexico and Canada, came to East Winsing in August to celebrate the 63rd annual Katen Tekakwitha Conference. The conference, held to honor Blessed Kateri, attracted international attention with the presence of Apostolic Pro Nuncio Cardinal Gabriel Montalvo, Cardinal Adam Maida, and many others. "This is an important event not just for the first people of this land, but for all people," said Bishop Carl Mengeling. "This young strong womans life was a wonderful witness and testt· mony of unwavering faith in jesus Christ."

Cardinal Maida observed, is an example of faith for all the people of North America." Called the "lily of the Mohawks," Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha was a young Native American from Canada who convened to Catholicism in the 17th century. Born in 1656 of an Algonquin mother and an Iroquois father who was a Mohawk chief, she was nearly blind and later orphaned at the age of 4. Kateri was exposed to Catholicism through the jesuit missionaries of New France. She became completely devoted to jesus Christ, in spite of the hostility to the Christian faith by other natives around her. ~she

She died at 3 p.m. on April 17th, 1680, during Holy Week. Kateri was only 24. Her last words were: "jesos Konoronkwa" - "jesus, I Love You." Karen Bussey, director of the Diocese of Winsings Mother Teresa House, said, "Kateri is the patron of consecrated virgins. In some ways, she was counter cultural, as she lived among her own people, while belonging to Christ." "Kateri is a powerful example of how far a simple faith and trust in jesus can carry you," concluded Sharron Detz, Director of Native American Ministry for the Diocese of Grand Rapids. - Ron Landfair

jackson teen beats the heat on the road to becoming an Eagle Scout

he thought of picking up a paint brush and undertaking a major exterior painting project on a hot, blistering summer day is enough to make most people head straight for the comfon of air conditioning. Michael Berkemeier, 16, didn't head for cooler comfon during some of the hottest weather experienced in Michigan this summer. Instead, he painted the exterior of the St. Vincent de Paul store, located on East Michigan Avenue in jackson, as his Eagle Scout project. Michael teamed up with 18 volunteers and spent

nearly 204 hours giving the building a much needed facelift. His grandfather, Francis Berkemeier, has been a volunteer at St. Vincent de Paul for more than 45 years and suggested that he paint the building for his project. "It was estimated that the job would have cost (St. Vincent de Paul) $20,000 if they would have had it painted professionally," Michael said. "The workers in the building have been very appreciative." The enterprising lumen Christi High School sopho-

more sought out local businesses who provided the paint and supplies - for free. Now, according to Michael, all that stands between him and the rank of Eagle Scout - he is a member of Troop 424 - is some paperwork that must be completed. Then he will join his father, Phillip, and five of his uncles who also earned the prestigious Eagle Scout honor. -KAthy Fun•

Catholic School

~; ~:~~~~~

;; ....

DuKette Catholic School brightened over the summer - literally. Thanks to a generous donation of a playscape from UAW Local 598, primary colors in the forms of slides, tunnels, swings and even a rock climb now decorate the scenery outside the Aint school. While a dedication was held in June following the installation of the playscape by a team of volunteers, students returning to DuKette this fall have been eager to use the new equipment. "The students just can't wait to get out there at lunch," said Principal Gail Negrinelli. Not only has the playscape brightened the lives of 1he students, it is quickly becoming a focal point of 1he Aint neighborhood. "Families are coming here," said Negrinelli. "It's great to see the parents - the moms and dads - and the grannies sitting out at the picnic tables while the kids play. "The playscape has done a marvelous job of keeping the spirit of 'we are family' here at the school~ The generosity of the UAW didn't end, either, with the donation and installation of the $1 00,000 playscape. According to Negrinelli, the UAW will maintain the equipment and ensure that it is kept up to playground codes. - l<adty Fun•

Catholic Charities offers support for abuse victims

Callin all CathoHc schools! ewantnews!

~ ·~j~b,;.U~~ ~~ •••••••~~~~~j ;;e·~~ ~ha; fu~•••

Catholic: Schools Week, Jan. 26•Feb. 1, 2003. FAITH Magazine would Dke to give your school the chance to "brag" a little about whafs going on - spedal projects, themes, guest speakers, or any· thing you think Is of Interest to our readers. A brief story or description, no more than 75 words, and a photo can be submitted. We cannot guarantee that all submissions will be printed due to space constraints. However, we will provide a comprehensive overview reflective of the entire diocese. The submisions which do not run will ~e placed on our Web site at www.FAITHmag.com Just like any school, we have a few rules: 1 The submissions must be sent by a school, or with a note stating that the school has given permission for the copy to appear in the magazine. Follow-up phone calls will be made to each school

material has his or her approval ror print consideration. 2 If photos are submit· ted, pennlsslon slips from parents or guardians of the students appearing In the photographs must be Included. If you are in need of a photo release form, please call Kathy Funk at (517) 3422599. A form will then be faxed to your school. 3 Submissions must be received no later than Nov. 12, 2002. Anything received after that date will not be considered for publication within the magazine. Submissions can be sent to: Katlty Funk, Assistant Editor FAITH Magat ine Attn: Catholic Sd1oo\s Weelt Material 300 W. Ottawa Lansing, Ml 48933 You can also e-mail submissions to: kfunk@dioceseoflansing.org For funher information, please contact Kathy at (517) 342-2599.

Fr. Michael Kirwen honored bySt MaryS University

r. Michael Kirwen, a Maryknoll priest who is founder and director of the Maryknoll Institute of African Studies at int Mary's University MIASMU) in Nairobi, Kenya, was presented with an honorary Doctorate of Educational Leadership at

commencement exercises held recently at Saint Marys University of Minnesota. Fr. Kirwen's home parish is St. Mary Star of the Sea, jackson. He founded MIASMU in 1989.

. •J.gt•

' . ,, :

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c ..................................... atholic Charities of Jackson has begun a newly formed Support Group for victims of clergy sexual abuse and their families. "The group is for both males and females, to assist them with the spiritual and psychological traumatization in their lives - to begin a diaIogue and the healing process," explained VICky L Schultz, executive director of Catholic Charities of Jackson. The support group began meeting Aug. 14 and will continue to meet on

Wednesdays for a period of 1 2 weeks. Catholic Charities has a staff of professionals who are trained to deal with children, adolescents, adults and seniors who are experiencing personal and emotional problems. In fact, the agency is known for its expertise in providing help for individuals affected by sexual abuse and domestic violence. For more information about the services offered by Catholic Charities of Jackson, call (51 7) 782-2551.

17menstep closer to 1xioming Pmmanent Deacons nAug. 29,2002, Bishop Carl F. Mengeling presided over a liturgy where 17 men stepped closer to being ordained permanent deacons for the Diocese of lansing. Ten of the men were admitted as candidates to the Diaconate, the first formal call to ministry from the bishop. After their formation is complete, they are scheduled to be ordained in May of 2005: Thomas Fogle, Edward Hahnenherg, Ronald Kenney, Stanley Kukla, Michael Murray, Gregory Poole, David Roseilherg, Michael Sullivan, and Robert Vatter. After the rite of candidacy, seven other men were instituted into the Ministry of Acolyte, the mimstry of distributing the Eucharist. These men are scheduled to be

.. • .,

· ,I

ordained deacons on May 10, 2003: ]ames Chevalier, ifernmce Fleming, ]ames Hashfuan., F.rank Papp, Matthew Shannon, Richard Stanford. and Stephen Thomashefski. F.or more information on becoming a deacon contact: Deacon Bill Sirl, Director of the OHke ofE>eacons (517) 342-2541 orat bsirl@dioceseoflansing.org

•

On the RC{Ju at.JOn of B 1h

the wor1d

Constance Marie and George Lopez star as husband and wife in the new ABC comedy George Lopez. (CNS pha~o from ABO

. ... ...

Catholic comic George Lopez trusts in God over wife'S pregnancy

atholic comic George Lopez, whose selftitled sitcom returns this fall on ABC, has more than just a funny side. Hes got a serious side, a faith side and a valuesladen side, too. Lopez'S wife is in the midst of a difficult pregnancy, but he says it won't affect him in his work on the show because hes left it all in Gods hands. "My wife and 1are expecting our second child, hopefully in February. There'S some levels in her body that are a

• ••

••

little lower than they should be, and shes been taking medications, going to the doc~ tor every week," Lopez said. "We talked about it in the car tonight. I said, 'You know where I am with us and how I feel about you and how I feel about our family. But this isn't our decision. I want you to get your rest and hopefully we'll be able to have this child, and if we don't, we'll have another one. But if God wants us to be the parents of this child, we will be."'

... ... ... ..

Lopez told Catholic News Service, "I've turned it over. Its outside of my hands. And I'm comfonable with that." He told CNS he staned paying more attention to his faith when he was struggling in show business. "When nothing was going right for me in the early days and I had nothing and was nothing, I staned to go back to the Church and turned myself over and turned everything that ever happened over to God and stopped worrying

••

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about things 1 couldn't control and tried to be a better person and keep God in our lives," Lopez said. "And it's been great. lt:S been great. It:S been wonde ful. And even if things hadn't turned out OK. I'd still be all right." Geor;ge Lopez will be seen 8:30-9 p.m. Eastern time Wednesdays on ABC. The show, which features life in a middle-class Latino family, had a successful four-week trial run earlier this year.

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New Web site aims to fight Internet pornography

orality in Media, an organization cofounded by a jesuit priest, has launched a new Web site aimed at helping people repon possible violations of federal laws against the distribution of hard-core pornographic materials on the Internet. Through the site at wwwobscenitycrimes.org, the New York-based organization will forward the repons to the appropriate U.S. attorney and to the justice Depanments

Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section in Washington for investigation and possible prosecution. Roben Peters, president of Morality in Media, said the Web site "shonens the distance between dtizens, whose homes and places of business have been invaded by Internet obscenity. and federal prosecutors, who have the responsibility to enforce federal Internet obscenity laws." Visitors to the site can make a repon by giving

their name, address and county of residence, as well as the Internet address of the offending site. The report form does not accuse anyone of a crime. It simply asks the U.S. attorney to investigate for possible violations of Internet obscenity laws. "For almost 10 years, there has been almost no enforcement of federal obscenity laws against commercial distributors of hardcore pornography,n Peters

f tlllllllcn r' < •'n'1 11 lh' A,~e 1' 1 l \ ,,,, . ', 11 , 1! op~: ,. .r,. I' 11 I On the Role of the Chnsllan fdm1ly ut the Modem World \. , , , ..

said. "Millions of Americans have been assaulted by hardcore pornography in their homes and at their jobs and are shocked to see how easy it is for even children to access these vile materials." Morality in Media was founded in the early 1960s by Jesuit Father Morton A. Hill, together with a rabbi and a Lutheran pastor. Fr. Hill served as president of the organization until his death in 1985. - Catholic Nnn S~l'lllcc

I For tc.lt of tilcsc documents. k>g on to FAiHimag <om

,st'mfr"hot last

\Vh.yTme Love Waits

ital statistics appear regularly in the lansfng Stall journal covering Ingham, Eaton and Cinton counties. A typical report recently listed 47 maftiages and 58 divorces during the same time period. Statistics from Rome show that American marriage tribunals handle ~ annulment cases than all the rest of the world combined. These are only two indications or the New Los Angeles Cathedral Opened Sept. 2 sad state of Matrimony in our country, where the Catholic divorce rate Is now The ~ral of Our Lady of the Angels is pictured Aug. 29 almost as high as that of unbelievers. in los Angeles. The new $163 million cathedral compleic The bn:akdown in the permanence As long as "safe sex" is the of fuaniage began in the 1960s with a 3,()()()-aeat main church, 11 chapels, bell klweri conl'eraim, broken hearts and the so-called "sexUal revoludon," the ence cena- and pltic plaza- was decbled Sept. 2. It turmoil that accompanied the Vlemam broken homes are going to replaces the ear1hqualedamag Calhedral c:l St. Vibiana. war, campus unrest, and the rise of a telbe the rule, not fidelity evision culture witliout moral restraints. and commitment. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• The computer age has conttibuted Film star Sandra Bullock Father's having a service • pornography to this mix, and •sex educaught Lopezs nightclub act tomorrow. Would you like cation~ in the public schools has given a slant on the use of sex that has to attend?' And I said, and developed the TV series resulted in promiscuity being glamorized for teenagers. around Lopez, because she 'Absolutely.' And he gave me The use of sexual·inten:ourse for recreation is directly contrary to wanted to see Hispanic fami· two tickets that were right the.morallty of the Gospel; and Catholics, even some priests as recent · more visible on the tube. down in front. 1 was behind events have shown, have fallen for this. Christian morality calls for abstiWhen Lopez and his wife nence outside of marrlage and calls the use of sex outside of marrlage the bishops with the big either fornication or adultery. Christian morality extols the use of sex withhats. For a third of the Mass vacationed in Rome in 1996, in marriage as a true act of love and as a sacramental bond that binds a they had an encounter with I couldn't see a thing." married couple together. Pope john Paul II that was When Lopez saw the pope, Under the strong influence of groups such as the Sexuality Information closer than they ever expected. ~1 thought he'd single me out, and Education Council of the U.S (SIECUS), Planned Parenthood, the "I took the public tour on tell me 1 had to go to Church National Abonion and Reproduction Rights Action League (NARAL), and Saturday before the Mass on more, but he did not," the the ACLU, Msafe sex~ is the aim of sex education in the schools; and absdSunday. And the tour guide, comic said. "He looked my nence is laughed at. As long as Msafe sex~ is the aim, broken hearts and who was a priest from San way, and didn't single me out." broken homes are going to be the rule, not fidelity and commitment of Antonio, said, 'The Holy - Marh PaUlson (CNS) married partners to each other as one woman and one man for life. Young people of marriageable age who hope for a committed, happy and faithful marriage c:an take heart, however. At fitst quietly, but now \llew Odaber's Wab \lldao an FAITHmag.mm: with some favorable nodce, abstinence clubs are springing up from the grass roots. 1he iniri:idve was taken by public high school students themselves, is spfeading to college-age and adult groups, and those eligible for maniage should look at the example the teens have started. So far the best-known nationwide abstinence group is True Love Waits ine faith traditions were represented at an (TLW), a ministry of the Southern Baptist Convention. They have already interreligious service held at St. Mazy Cathedral to 1.2 million youths across the country who have publicly signed a pledge commemorate the Sept. 11 attacks. To view excerpts from this indicating that they will be chaste and reserve sex for their future mates. Among the ministries that have blended TLW into their own programs are and other services, log on to FAJIHmag.com click FAJJHmedl& Youth for Christ, the Fellowship of Ghristian Athletes, the Crisis Pregnancy Center network, and the National Federation of Catholic Youth Ministries, affiliated with the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. One study by the Centers for Disease Control found more than half of the country5 high-school students saying they practice sexual abstinence. Teenagers have started somethiiig positive for faithful, committed IIUII'riage. The twenty- and thiny-somethings can take a tip from the teens for their own future. With the help of Gods grace they can wait with their true love and let the Sacrament of Matrimony make that love lasting.

Remembering Sept. 11 one year later

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Most Revucnd Kemteth Povlsh was the 1hlrd bishop of l.ansin& IDCl is IICJW' retimi.

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