September 2000

e are made to belong. Perversely, we want to belong to others and at the same time we don't want to be "bothered" by them. Our hearts hunger to belong. In our belonging we crave to be "liked." We hunger to be admired, to be "cool," to have others look to us. We want our parents to trust us, to give us responsibilities - but not hold us accountable. All of these discordant needs come roaring up from within us in our teenage years. But another force wars against our belonging needs. We want to be individuals and to be individualistic. We want to be noticed but we don't like facing crowds. We want to be rock stars but are afraid to talk in front of a crowd. We want our families to love us but we SPECIAL TEEN ISSUE don't want to be seen with our mothers and fathers. Our brothers and our sisters simply can't measure up to our standards - but they are supposed to Jove us. What is fascinating these days, however, is the number of teens who live adult-free and parent-free lives. Hours spent on the phone (wireless, of course), watching television, on the Internet, and with their peers are endless compared to the time spent with moms and dads. One of the great mysteries of life, a mystery that few people ever solve, is how to "belong" and "not belong" at the same time. Strangely and paradoxically we become individuÂˇ als, acquire our personalities and are individuated by belonging to our families. It is the family community that shapes its individual members. And it is the individual members that determine the character of our family community. Or it used to be. There is a question in my mind as to just how formative the family of today really is. What, after all, do we mean by the word "family" these days? What does the word "home" mean? Another of the fascinating aspects about todays teens is the fact that many of them are concerned about spirituality. Many, however, do not connect faith or spirituality with "going to church." They want to individualize their faith response to God and fashion their own spirituality. They want to dedicate themselves to something greater than themselves, to devote themselves to a great cause, and above all to care for aU living creatures without discrimination as to species, race, age, gender, sexual orientation, denominational boundaries or religion. This is what 1 call the All Options Open generation, one that seeks to find a faith in which they can belong but remain individualized. They face an enormous struggle because it seems to me that in order to be truly interdependent with significant others, they have to surrender much of their personal freedom. Only God can have great power and be vulnerable at the same time. But, then, learning that lesson is what growing up is aU about. ED

contents Features: TEENS

Culture

Listen ln on Teens and Parents

Wearing Your Faith • Pray a Rosary Bracelet

• FAITH Magazine Poll • A Guide for Parents Kathy Funk with Teens

Ronald Landfair

• A Guide for Teens Kathy Funk with Parents 13

The journey: Dos and Don'ts • A Mothers Perspective Dr. Cathleen McGreal

•Top Dos and Don'ts Parents and Teens

Remembering My Best Friend • A Columbint Survivor Shares Her Story of Faith Sareh Arzola

Contributors

In The Know With Fr. joe Fr. Joseph Krupp

From Tlte Bisltop Bishop Carl Mengellng

Tlte Last Word ...

•A Daughters Perspective Erin McGreai·MIIIer

Bishop Kenneth Povlsh

Departments community local news the world

22 24 26

faHh Volume 1 : , . _ 7 ......,..,2000 tlpKIIIITEl!N lAue

Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling PUaUSHER

Rev. Fr. Gharles Irvin

Send your letters to ~ Editor, FAITH Magazine 300 w.ouawa Lansing, Ml 48933 or via e-mail frclrvln@rc.net

mROit IN CHIIJ'

Patrick M. O'Brien MANAOINQ EDCTOR

aiUrM DIR£ClOR

Kathy Funk

As a former English/journalism teacher and now a television producer/scriptwriter working in Catholic communications, I applaud your magazine ... As a former Michigander (Detroit Archdiocese) and a Franciscan Sister (Sylvania, Ohio), llook forward to receiving this midwestern reality check every month during my ~exile in California." You hit the bull~ eye with each issue.

ASSISTANT EDnoR IITAI'I' WRITU

jillanejob IUIISCRIPTIONSISEQI!TARY

Mollie Lauffer CR!ATM! a EDtrORIAL ASSISTANT

Rev. Fr. Dwight Ezop Margaret Perrone V'mcent Vatter

neighbor made mention of it, so l decided to read an article each day while I had lunch (my only quiet meal!). It was a great way to stop and take a mini-retreat. Thanks so much for a relevant and rewarding publication.

Sarah Arzola Rev. Fr. William Ashbaugh Evelyn Barella Sarah Ellsworth Elizabeth johnson Rev. Fr. joseph Krupp Ronald Landfair Dr. Cathleen McGreal Erin McGreai-Miller jennifer Niester Most Rev. Kenneth j . Povlsh c:otmtlaunNG WRITUS

Douglas Funk Christine jones james Luning

Iuiie Sdlumaker

From a Bishop, Nun and Priest

Embarrassing

CON11tlaunNG PHOTOGRAPHUS

james Luning, Photography Whether you're 15, 30, or 70, embarrassment knows no bounds. As teenagers, our most mortifying moments are often sheltered In e personal asylum of neglected memories - only to emerge decades later. These humble FAITH readers share their most embarrassing moments:

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Wayne Case Mary Delano David Fenech Patricia Garcia Rev. Fr. ]. Thomas Munley Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone james Rhadigan Michael Rizik Ricardo Rodriguez Rev. Fr. james Swiat Sharon Wimple Rev. Fr. Karl Pung WUMINtlmiY

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appointed designated driver and interpreter to take Concepcion shopping for the wedding. We bought a simple dress for $4 and entered a ~--~' jewelry store with $16 of Jose's money and J. Povlsh, Retired $8 of the team's Bishop of Lansing money in my pocket. In the summer I did all the talking, of 1949, my ministry starting with, "Please team was trying to vali· show the lady an inexdate the civil marriage of pensive wedding ring.n The Jose and Concepcion jeweler gulped, stuttered, and Mendoza, two Mexican brought out a tray of rings. migrant workers. Jose came We were the only customers up with a $20 bill, and I was in the store, and a clerk kept

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It Is a great thing that you trust people and they trust you to tell "God smiled on the Spartans"/ their most personal stories, even ones that they haven't told any(May/june 2000) What is in one else about before. ... It Is a your mind? Has your blue great opportunity for us, as blood turned green? Satan is Sr. Judy Zielinski, OSF young adults, to learn about Director, TV Produdlon and afoot, tempting, teasing and Development other people~ problems in life apparently seducing men of Family Theater Production• and not just our own. I think it Is Hollywood, Calif. what I beleived to be of good a neat thing that you are doing character. Shame, (Fr.) Charlie, for our community and also for I must admit, several months shame. other parishes, not just ours. went by before I read one of the lemH Reglater Belay Dettloff Middletown, N. J. issues of FAITH Magazine . ... A

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staring at us; the bookkeeper started to look out from her cubicle to observe the transaction. The jeweler kept gulping. Get the picture: Mrs. Mendoza was a grandmother in her Hfties. Like all Mexican matrons she carried herself with great dignity. But two from teeth were missing, and she showed all the signs of the hard life migrant women led. I was 25 that summer, whiteskinned from my bookish existence, thinner and trimmer than I would ever later be. The jeweler gulped one more time, and then it dawned on me: The whole

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Nothing could be more embar1was acting in a school play, rassing than for a ninth·grade dressed in a housecoat 1was fool· seminary student to learn that lhe ing around before lhe cur· . . . . . ....._ teams switch sides of lhe lain opened. My coun duting a basketball ftiends and 1were ~,...~• game. I learned lhe hard way - no one told me laughing when 1pre· that you don't shoot lhe tended to be asleep on lhe bed, centerbasket into lhe opp~ nents hoop, which was stage. They really staned laughing when lhe our own hoop during lhe first halfl The crowd was roating unain opencdl The scene was with delight and it was beginning •ginning and I was supposed to be sweeping the floor not sleeping to dawn on me that something was wrong. in lhc bed. I was so embarrassed.

Âˇn e know with Fr. joe The other day, my Greetings! In this ediUon of ,_rasa, Regina, Joshua (tell family was all gathÂˇ your friend 'I told you so'), FAITH, we are addressing ered together for the youth. So, I have to start Jeremiah, Stephle, Anna, prayer. As usual, Elizabeth, Rachel, Toby, off by seytng a huge my father started Phillip, Martha "Howdy" and "I love you" to with the words, and Luke. my nephews and nieces: Good Lordi And "Let's take some Elizabeth, Michael, Brla11t not all my brothers Ume to call to mind Emily, Steven, Christopher, our sins." Before and sisters are Benjamin, Della. Jesse, two seconds had marriedI passed, one of the kids spoke up, "I'm done!"

Talk about opUmlsml

I am 15. This Is the year that I am supposed to be c:onfinned. Why should I be? What does It mean to be an "ac:tlve member of the Chun:h"?

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In order for you to be an active member of the Church, you have to be Utught by example. This is where your parents come in: by word and example, does your mom and/or dad show that their faith is the most important thing? Do they undersUtnd that Confirmation is not some son of "Catholic rite of passage." but an empowerment with the Spirit that raised jesus from the dead? \Vhat this means is that you are coming into a time when your faith is no longer your parents' faith, but your own. This means that you Utke responsibility for getting yourself to church at least once a week and confession at least twice a year. This means that you allow the Holy Spirit to get inside you and work wonders in your life and the lives of those around you. An active member of the Church is someone who has

surrendered to the gift of the ed by saints and sinners, all of Spnit and allowed jesus into whom we are called to love. It his or her heart. They show is too easy to say that we love this by giving of their time and God and never talents to the Church. That is a have to challenge basic idea of what it means to ourselves to love be an active member of the Gods people. Church. When we do Remember, our faith is not private. As Catholics, we embrace our faith in a community of believers. We can't blow off church with the excuse that "I follow God in my own way." "hat is a cop out. Think of this: when we go to church, we find ourselves surround-

it alone, we run the risk of never having our ability to love challenged. We avoid contemplating Gods divine presence in the people we don't like or are even afraid of. To you and your parents, it is my firm opinion that if you don't wish to be confirmed, you shouldn't be. This is NOT something you "get done" or , "get out of the way." The Spirit is too great of a gift to be used like that. Enjoy another day in Gods presence! :!) Send your Questions to:

"In the Know with Fr. Joe" FAITH Magazine 300W.OHawa Lansing, Ml 48933 or E-Mail JoelnBiack@prlesLcom

SPECIAL TEEN ISSUE

Express Yourself We know you can find your Christian spirituality through the Mass, by attending youth ministry groups or through personal prayer. But just where does your spirituality fit Into your everyday IIvas - at school, at home, or with friends? We wanted teenagers to show us where and how spirituality does flt Into their lives. That's the reason we gave disposable cameras to members of the youth ministry group at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish, East Lansing. And this Is what they had to share with us ...

"This Is my bulletin board. Though It's dutlered with pictures and memories, there's a crucifix In the can· tar - just like my life. Though It's full of many things, God Is stUI the can• tar of It:' "Running Is a huge part of my life. And one of the ways I make It better Is by praying before my races so that I might do well In His name and also that every· one will be safe." Amanda McKenna

"School Is God In our IIvas and Ieeming:' "Nature Is God's gift." Sarah and Maureen McGuire "I know It sounds weird but I have lots of faHh In my feet. By having them, I know I can get where I need to and walk away from situations or take me on the right path:' Ashley Henes

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,Jhe millennium watc "I took these pictures because they remind me of God and that we're working together building a gift ... everybody Is working as a team, even though we may not all be friends. It makes me feel so good because I can talk to anyone and they don't question me. They don't question me because we all know we have to get the job done and we have to communicate with one another ... This Is what God wants us to do, and that Is how all this teamwork reminds me of our Lord, Christ." Isabelle Mann

An Old Pope and Young People. Why the Bond? For nearly 22 years we have witnessed the remarkable ongoing love affair between the pope and young people of the world. In our secular culture that glorifies and cultivates ''youthfulness," how is it possible that an 80-year-o\d man, Pope john Pau\11, is truly "Papa" to you? Why do you Oock to him and listen? Why the thunderous applause when he challenges you with the demands of the Gospel? Young people have always been at the center of his 54 years as a priest. That love for you intensified and became ~leba\ in his 22 years as pope. During nearly 100 pastoral ~ourneys to countries everywhere, millions of young people listened to words that were especially for them. Its revealing to note that in his first message on becoming pope, he addressed youth. On Oct. 22, 1978, as new Vicar of Christ, he said, "You are the hope of the Church and of the world. You are my hope. You already know that the Lord walks with you as a friend. jesus is a friend who will not disappoint you. You can always count on the lord." In addition, youths importance was highlighted during his first visit to the United States in the fall of 1979. On Oct. 1, he celebrated his first Mass in our nation as pope. It was an open air Mass on the Boston Common. Nearly a half million people braved the steady rain to join in this sacred and historic celebration. After the customary greetings and expressions of gratitude, the pope, to the surprise of many, used the entire homily to speak to the young people of the United States. It was particularly during the solemn outdoor closing Mass on Aug. 15, 1979, that I understood . It was electrifying to witness and experience the immense and ceaseless outpouring of love from two million young people from all over the world. This continued unabated for three hours. Now I know why you love the "old" pope. Here's how I see his positive approach:

ft: . He reac;hes out to you with trust and love and Invites V 'ou to "get a life" of friendship with Jesus.

" He affirms your worth and dignity and your capacity to

choose goodness. • His love for you enkindles your potential to love without limits as Jesus does. • His teaching of Gospel truths Inspires you. • His confidence In your desire for goodness opens doors to a partnership with Jesus In a variety of vocations. His call to holiness sets your heart afire for a life In the Lord.

UNegatively," heres what the pope doesn't do: • He doesn't lie to you, but speaks the full truth of the Gospel. • He doesn't Insult you by baby· lng you and shielding you from Jesus' call to love. • He doesn't belittle you with pathetic fun and games. • He doesn't betray you by compromising and watering down the Gospel. • He doesn't underestimate your good will and desire to serve.

In short, he truly loves you and you know it. All the encounters I have with our youth convince me more and more that young peo· pie are sincerely searching for a spiritual lire. Most of you want to become givers. not takers. You want adults to be honest and authentic friends and teachers. You want to hear the truth and see the whole picture. You respond to the "tough love" the Holy Father calls you to. You deeply resent being shortchanged and triOed with. We honor you when we ask much of you. We demean you when we expect and ask little. The Kold" Pope is a living icon for youth ministry in jesus' name. Clergy, parents, teachers, youth leaders and parishioners can learn from the "Papa" of our youth. :D

www.FAITHmeg.com

Scptcmbfr 2000

FAITH M~g;~:lnc

To: Parents - From: Teens By Teenagers wtlh Kathy Funk

Photography by Jeme1 Luning

ou've weathered late night feedings, diaper changes and potty training, scraped knees and bruised feel~ ings, first days of school ... And just when you thought you had this parenting thing down pat, along come The Teenage Years. Raging hormones and mood swings are enough to haunt Stephen Kings wqrst nightmares. But before you go shrieking into the night, we're here to lend a helping hand by answering, "So, just what is going on in teenagers' heads these days?" We know, we know, sometimes its hard to imagine that any· thing at all goes on, but it does. In fact, the budding adults who attended FAITH Magazine's Parentffeen Forum offered the following words of wisdom when answering our questionnaire, Teens: A Parents Guide.

Wlaat are the things you wisla you could tell your parents? Why can't you talk about daose things? Ondrea: I almost always can talk to my mom about every~ thing. I wish I was able to talk about some things that both· er me but its too personal to share because I get self-con·

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Stpltrnbu 2000

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scious about those things and they probably seem pretty petty. I'd like to share my feelings on relationships (with the opposite gender) but I need to work things out in my mind before I do that. It is also hard for me to share my intimate moments with God, because I feel that its way too personal - like a personal relationship with me and the Lord. Madison: I wish I could tell my parents about my relationships and I wish I could tell them the truth sometimes. Meghan: Sometimes they just bother me and I just want them to leave me alone. I don't want to hurt their feelings.

What are the tlaree best things your parents can do for you? MaH: 1 Teach me. right from wrong. 2 Be there for me no matter what. 3 Give their advice even though I don't always want it. Andy: My parents do so many things for which I do not show my appreciation at all. They bend their lives backwards to do things for us (my brothers and me) or to take continued on page 14

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FAITH Magazine decided to open a dialogue between teenagers and parents. In our recent poll, parents ranked as the greatest source of stress for teens. We wanted to get to the heart of what teens would like to say to their parents - but can't - and what parents would really like to say to their kids If only the kids would listen. Facilitated by our own Dr. Cathleen McGreal, the FAITH Magazine Parent/Teen Forum held at Holy Redeemer Catholic School In Burton offered an opportunity for sharing, exchanging Ideas and role playing which put teens In charge (and they found out parenting's not so easy after all).

To: Teens - From: Parents By Pllntnls wtlh Kathy Funk

A Teen's Guide

Photography by Jam•• Luning

arents. They were once your best friends and there wasn't anything you couldn't share with them. You couldn't wait to curl up at bedtime for a story or share the latest knock-knock joke. Now, suddenly, it seems as if aliens - or worse, prison guards - have come and taken over. They don't understand you; you don't understand them And they can't possibly remember what it was like to be a teenager - it was, after all, so long ago when they were feeling the same way about your grandparents! Well, you'll be surprised by the answers offered by parents when answering our questionnaire,

Parents: A Teens Guide. Wltat are the things you wish you could tell your son/daughter? Wlty can't you tallz about dtose tltings7 Theresa: We have a good, open relationship. Usually the girls don't talk to me about things. Q eing a single parent makes it difficult sometimes to discuss problems when l really need another adult to talk to. Barbara: l wish l could tell my son things from my child~

hood days. Some of the things are hurtful to me. l don't want to share the hurl. Mark and Diane: We tell him everything. Sometimes we end up telling him too much.

Wltat are tlte three best things your sonldauglttcr can do for you? Isabel: 1 Be the caring and compassionate person we've taught her to be. 2 Continue to let her faith guide her and live by the values and beliefs that her family and religion have given her. 3 Always remember the importance of family and that our love is unconditional. Barbara: 1 Always keep God first in his life. 2 Finish school. 3 Reach his goals in life and be successful.

What are tltree things your sonldaugltter does tltat is not ltelpful to you? Jlllane: 1 Adversarial attitude wnh her younger sister. continued on page 15

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Teens: A Parent's Guide continued from page 12 us places. There are truly not three things that they do best for me, rather three times a hundred - times a thousand, even.

Wltat are the three things your parents do tftat are not helpful to you? Mlkala: 1 Expect too much of me and then if I do not meet the goals they set, l feel as if I'm a failure. 2 Treating me as if I'm still a child and not realizing I'm growing up and maturing into adulthood. 3 Not accepting my ideas or beliefs on things at all times, especially when l just want their support. Let me find the right path on my own without constant nagging.

If you got into some sort of trouble, how would you lihe your parent(s) to handle tlte situation? Lee: I would like my parents to be calm and understanding. Annette: They would probably listen to my side of the story and, in the end. they would give me the appropriate punishment and say that they'll always be there for me. Matt: In the manner of if they were young once again, how would they want it to be? When you have a problem or decision to maize, what detennines wltetlter you tell your friends or you tell your parents? Give examples of both. Andy: When l have a problem, l will always tell my friends. Not unless it is just a mild problem will! tell my parents. For example, I wanted to leave my high school band class. I told all of my friends Hrst and they told me to do it. Not until! had made up my mind did I tell my parents. l wanted to be absolutely sure of myself before I told them anything. Madison: l would tell my parents if it were a problem in school. l would tell my friends if the problem is with another person. ln what ways have your parents taught you about Christ? Ondrea: I've grown up with Christ always there. We go to church every week and my mom has all our (my sisters and my) questions answered. She is currently trying to start a good youth group in our parish . Whenever l am faced with a decision, she'll ask whether or not l am following in Christs example. She shows me how important a relationship with Christ is. She's helped me become more involved. Mikala: My parents have taught me that faith :md family are most important in life and that without them, it would not be a life at all. l realize the importance

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of Christ in my life every day because of my parents. They have taught me the true meaning of love.

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In what ways have you tauglu your parents about Christ? Meghan: I think I have been an example of them and what they have taught me. Annette: I think I taught my mom that if people truly believe in Christ - deep down in their hearts- they will always find their way back to him. Matt: just by saying how my relationship with God is. If you are having trouble with your friends, who do you turn to? Lee: I tum to God. Ondrea: My mom and sister, sometimes even my grandparents ... I always tum to God to give me wisdom because I know He:S there. Matt: Myself. Meghan: No one. I don't use my mom because she tells everyone. Madison: My other friends. If you are having trouble with your parent(s), who do you tum to? Annette: I tum to God and ask Him for help. 111; ... Madison: My friends. Mlkala: Usually my friends or other family ~J members. There are many times when I just confront my parents themselves and try and work out the issues at hand. Andy: When l am having trouble, I always turn to my girlfriend. I can tell her absolutely anything and she is always supportive and helpful. Also, I tum to God. Wltere is God in your relationship witlt your parents? Matt: All over. Ondrea: He is very present in our lives. Everyday He is mentioned and certainly prayed to. Andy: God is an aura surrounding the outer limits of our relationship. He binds us, hold us, and keeps us whole ... Without God, our entire relationship would be for nothing. Lee: I believe its in our hearts. Mikala: God has kept my parents and me close, allowing me to live a happy, love-filled life. God is there at the good times and the bad. Madison: God keeps my family strong and keeps us sane during bad times. Annette: Very present. Meghan: He isn't very present. She (mom) just tells me to go to church. I take an active role in my own relationship with God . _,

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Parents: A Teen's Guide continued from page 13 2 Not taking on more responsibilities for herself - i.e. doing chores around the house without having to be reminded or making her own meals for herself and not relying on me to cook dinner. 3 Discuss/communicate with me about other things than just school. Mark and Diane: 1 Tune us out when he thinks he has heard everything he needs to hear. 2 Sometimes he is inconsiderate of other family members' feelings and self-esteem. 3 Having to be told what to do around the house (all the time).

If your sonldauglater got into some sort of trouble, how would you Wte ldm!her to laandle the situation? Isabel: I would hope she would come to her father and me, knowing that we would get through it together. Tom: Tell me about the situation and face the consequences related to that action. Jlllane: Honestly admit what she did that was wrong and accept the consequences. Also, to tell me sol can better help or support her. Making wrong decisions or getting into trouble {{ ~ a learning event. You grow as much from ~1istakes as anything else.

Wlaen your son/dauglater laas a problem or decision to make, wlay do you thinlt lte or slae tells a friend first? Theresa: Usually their age group will agree with what hap-

pens to them more than their parents. Barbara: I'm not so sure he would tell a friend first. We are open to him and l know he tells me a lot of things. We have good communication. Mark and Diane: To get support from someone his own age. He may want to check his decision with someone that he knows has had to deal with the same problem.

In wlaat ways has your sonldauglater taught you about Clarist? Tom: He openly expresses his belief in Christ. Also, in the way he treats other people. Isabel: She is the living embodimem of the miracle of life. She has taught me the power of Christ's unconditional love. Theresa: Christ has a way of making things all work out.

In what ways laave you tauglll your son/daughter about Christ? Mark and Diane: We live our faith and have shown our kids by example how to live with faith. ( lmane: l have read the Bible to her and told her the important events we celebrate as Catholics which have a basis in the Bible. We attend Mass regularly. I taught religious educaSPECIAL TEEN ISSUE

tion for five years and she was my aide for two years. She learned about God by helping others and developed a faith life because of her involvement. Barbara: Teachings, Bible School, Church. Me trying to be like Christ.

If you have trouble witla our sonldaughter:S friends, what do you do? Theresa: Try to talk to their parents. Mark and Diane: We try to let him pick and choose his own

friends but when we have trouble with a friend, we state our opinion about the individual - carefully, not to alienate him from us for the future. We hope we are raising him right and that, in time, he will realize that maybe this is not a good person to be around. Tom: Discuss the problem with my son. Isabel: I discuss it with my daughter first and, if l feel it necessary, with her friend. Il depends on the situation and the nature of the problem.

If you are laaving trouble witla your sonldauglater, wl1o do you tum to? Theresa: To my daughters first, then my

mother or my friends. If it has something to do with school, it would be their teachers. Il is sometimes difficult at home because I'm a single parent. Jlllane: I pray and ask God for guidance. l also talk to my mom and my sister for another's perspective on the problem. Mark and Diane: We turn to each o ther and sometimes other parents who have the same age child. Or parents who have already gone through these years.

Where is God in your relationship with your sonldaugluer? Barbara: In almost everything we do- mind, heart and soul. We both carry a cross with us. We feel this is God with us. When my son first started public school, I did not know he carried his cross with him to school. He felt comfort Lo carry his cross along with him. Jlllane: At the center. God is a part of our daily lives .. . All our values have their basis in our religion. I consequently have God present in all family decisions. Theresa: With each other through prayer and Church. Mark and Diane: God is first in life and family. Tom: God is part of our everyday lives. Isabel: God has shaped our beliefs and values which, in turn, affect our everyday lives and the way we raise our children. My daughter knows the importance of our faith and witnesses that on a daily basis ... God is love and forgiveness- He is with us in everything we do. ~

thejourney with Dr. Cathleen McGreal

hree Do'•

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1. Do the old AYinl. "'The more things ch•nge, the more they stQ the •mel" Instead of thinking that your parents just don't understand, try to take the perspective that they may have had stmtlar expeliences and feelings as teens - the external ctrcumstances were just different. Here ts an example Yale freshmen were upset at the music being provided at mealume and so they ~ ... shuffied out into Berkeley Oval and hghted bonfires, scampered into New Haven streets nngmg ftre alarms, pulling down trolley poles, pushing automobtles from their parkmg places, naggtng, taunting, thumb nosmg at policemen . " Does this remind you of the not after the MSU Final Four basketball game in 1999? lt sounds similar, doesn't it? This quote ts from the March 15, 1926. issue of Time Magazine and these freshmen would be 92 years old now! So. open up to your parents. You may find out that they understand the feelings of a teenager more than you expect them to! 2. Do take time to think over the mHt •pproprt.te w.y to exprus how you fHI to your ~rents. Put yourself in your parents' place for a minute and imagine someone coming up to you saying. "You guys don't have a clue about what is going on with me and my friends, so just stay out of it." The first reaction on hearing this is to become defensive and resistant to what is coming next. Try using sentences that begin with ~~ feel ... " instead of "You are ... " Parents are more likely to listen carefully when they don't feel under attack. 3. Do keep In mind the fact tiNit you •nd your ~r ants are on the ume t•ml Most of the time parents and teens have the same goals. Do you want a future filled with joy and contentment? Do you want the opponunity to develop your gifts and talents, the parts of you that make you unique? Parents long for all these things, too, and they struggle to come up with the best way to help you realize these goals. lllreeDon"ta 1. Don't expect the world to be fair. Psychologists use the term "immanent justice" to describe the sense that young children have about the world being fair. lt means that children expect an immediate (just) response when a rule is broken or when something tsn't fair. Teens and adults also find it difficult when life isn't fair. Why does one high school student have to face treatment for cancer when his best friend is playing three sports in the best of health? We don't have the answers to these questions, but we do have Gods eternal love to help us through these times.

2. Don't expect your ~rents to tre•t you and your siblings In exactly the ume w.y. All of us are unique and it doesnlt take parents long to realize that children respond in different ways. Your parents donlt JUSt influence you - in many ways. you innuence them as well. Parents may need to change their rules and decisions based on the personality and behavior of each child. Also, famlly circumstances change. Allow your parents the freedom of trymg to make decisions as best they can rather than trymg to have everything end ~p the same for each sibling! 3. Don't be llfrald of the word 110bedlence." This word really isn't all that bad if you go back to the Latin roots: ~ob" means "before'' and Kaudire" means "to hear." When you are obedient to someone you are willing to stand before them and hear what they have to say. If you listen attentively tt is quite likely that your parents will feel comfonable hearing your point of view as well. Remember, your parents are trying hard to be obedient to Gods will, too. One Lut Comment - Parent to Parenti Don't panic! It is scary, at times, watching the decisions that

our teenagers make. We may feel that we know the best path for teenagers to follow, but adolescents must begm to make their own commitments and plans. Approach your children with gentle guidance, knowing that they are m our Lord's hands. Gods love for them is infinite and if they tum from God on one occasion, God will offer other opponumties to grow in faith. As the Gospel of Matthew 6:34 tells us, ,.,. "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."

hree Do's

1. Make time to 'just talk' everyday. It's easy to do and it's much more pleasant to recognize these problems before they explode into maJor issues. The content won't matter as much as the fact that you're talking. It won't matter if you dtscuss philosophy or baseball, the fact is that you are talking and spending quality time together. When trouble arises, you wtll already have a habit of talking to one another. 2. Be supportive and Q~HN~-ntlndecltoward your teen's friends. They may not be the friends that you would have picked for us, but put trust in your parenting and in what we've learned at church. Remember that old chche, "You can't judge a book by the cover." Maybe that person with a pierced eyebrow seems a little shady, but mside he or she may be deeply spiritual and will be able to accompany us on our path to Christ. 3. Be a good role model for your teen. If you want us to accept your faith, practice it and don't make exceptions ~it for yourself. I know someone whose dad dropped htm ~JI :tt the door to the church and then sat in the car reading a newspaper. What kmd of example does that set? Use alcohol in an appropnate manner if you expect us to It 1s very easy for teens to justify their behav10r by thmkmg to themselves, "Well, mom and dad dnnk, so why shouldn't I?" There are lots of temptanons m life - It helps us to see how you deal with them. Three Don'ts 1. Don't ever start a sentence with the words, "When I was your age - " You aren't our age and times have changed since you were The situations that your genera non faced are dtfferent from those that our generation faces For example, you never had the need to worry about school shootings. Last year, after the Columbme shootings,

there were threats at my high school. The police began checkmg up on our school, and any student who mentioned anything violent was investigated by the school and the police. This created a very stressful environment, one my parents never e>epenenced. 2. Don't expect us to upreu our relationship with God In the same way that you do. Our concept of God ts hkely to be different from yours. More teens than adults are able to accept the concept of God as a nurturing mother and a JUSt father. We may also have a different way of communicating with God. Many of my friends find God not only m church but also m their music or their writing or thetr an. 3. Don't forget to say, ... love you." One of the sweetest thmgs anyone has ever satd to me came from the lips of a 3year-old I baby-sit. R1ght before naptime she called me into her room and said, "Erin, you are the cutest beanstalk that 1 ever did see." Everyone needs these reminders in their lives, that they are the "cutest beanstalk" and it means a lot to hear it coming from your parents, also. Childhood nicknames act as a bond between parent and teen. My dad still calls me "Erooney-toons" every once in a while. He sounds like a nerd but it is also very endeanng. He is the "cutest little nerd 1 ever did see " One Last Comment - Teen to Teen Try to remember that your parents have good mtentions most of the time - even though ll may be difficult to understand their decisions. Rather than becoming frustrated, It may be helpful to talk to another adult. For example, while my friends may use my parents as menrors, I've found that it is easier to talk to a more neutral party. I baby-s1t m the church nursery every Sunday and have become very close to not only the children but also their parents. One. Nancy, has become a great friend when 1 need adult advice but I don't want to give my parents the satisfaction of bemg nght. Nancy may say the exact same thmg as my parents but it is easier to heed her advice than thetrs

unfolded. When I found out that Rachel was probably dead I ran outside of my church and looked at the sky as I sobbed and tried to think of a way to wake up from this nightmare. Introduction •nd Photog111phy by Klithy Funk By Sarah Arzol• It was dark outside and I could see a Sarah was in science class when Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris opened fire April few stars that seemed so far away. I 20, 1999. She ran for safety, prayingfor God to send His angels. Sarah and Iter par- remember thinking that Rachel was even fanher than those stars and realents spent tl1e next four-and-a-ltalf hours waitingfor word about Iter sister, jessica, who was in tl1e cafeteria at the time of tl1e rampage. Finally, a S. WA. T. team emerged izing that I would never in this lifetime see her again. from the sclwol witl1 jessica- sl1e, too, ltad run for safety and found refuge in a I have to admit that the first few science supply closet. days afterward I tried to convince Sarah went to a familiar place tlwt night - Iter parish, St. Frances Cabrini. There reporters, friends and even myself that sl1e found out that her best friend, Rachel Scott, was missing. it was no big deal and that we would s I looked at Rachel for the last time on this earth I see our friends again and that we just had to be patient. The never dreamed that it would be the last time I'd ever truth of it was that those days had a way of seeming like a see her. She was sitting in the orchestra pit in our school year and I cried myself to sleep every night because the pain auditorium in a chair and had her feet up on another one. of missing my friend and classmates was so great. Finally, I She was writing in her journal, which was something she did faced the fact that I had been through something that I all the time, but I don't think I had ever seen her so could not face on my own. The only way I would heal was engrossed in it as I had that day. I remember my last converby turning to God . In doing so, I found that the road God wanted me to take sation with her as being a shallow complaint about how I had received a note stating that I hadn't paid my fee for my was becoming clearer and I was forced to look up from my petty life that was filled with competition, jealousy and fear parking space for the next year. I don't remember saying goodbye and I know that I didn't say 'I love you, Rachel.' to see what was needed in my life. I was struggling every day to change my heart into a more That night was the most confusing and shocking night of loving one through prayer and to be able to learn to forgive. my life as the story of what really happened in my school

A Columbine Survivor Tells Her

-~~9-~Y _~-~ -~-~-~~-~~?-~j-]2 __~-~~-~-~~~~--------- __

FAITU Magazine

Stprtlttbcr 2000

www.FAITHm•g.com

In fact, faith was one of the only things that Rachel and I had in common. ll was the base of our friendship and that is the strongest base you could ever have with a friend. We worked together all the time without even knowing it. Where my weaknesses were, Rachel's strengths rode up for the rescue. And where her weaknesses were, my strengths were there. Rachel was a friend for Christ - always accepting and never judgmental. I am a soldier for Christ- steadfast and honest. Through lots of prayer and thinking I have realized why I'm still here and Rachel is not. In the beginning I felt guilty that someone with so many dreams who had touched so many lives was dead and I, who looked forward to very little, was still alive. But as I thought about it more and more I saw that it only made sense that someone who was not already living her life to its fullest would be spared and given a chance to see her calling. Rachels life and death has been the fuel for my fire and it has grown tremendously this past year. I want to share something from my journal that shows what I feel God has told me about losing my friend and a little note to Rachel herself that I'm sure she wouldn't mind me sharing ~thyou.

Âˇ~ One of us worlts through her courageous deatlt, the other

tluvuglt her courageous life. Neither is wrong. Both are called. Togetlter they reach fartlter than just one could alone. We are sisters, and we both worlt for God. Rachel, You worked, you found peace and now our Lord has called you home. I'm still trying but I'll be there someday. I can't wait to see your shining face again. Be my angel and help the Lord to guide me. Love, Sarah I feel so lucky to have known Rachel - not only as a pretty girl who has been labeled a manyr, but as a true friend with wild dreams, struggles, disappointments, triumphs and love, who now has eternal life with God. As someone just about ready to leave her teen years behind, l want to say that there is very little that is easy about being a teenager these days. Something I have learned is that if you look to God and see what He can do for you through what you do for Him, you will be strong. Find what makes you truly happy- and l mean truly happy, not what you think will make you happy in the end - and these teenage years will be the most exciting of your life so far. God bless all of you and never forget that no matter what happens in your life, "jesus is still Lord!" ED Editors Note: To !earn mon: about the n:marhable young woman ~at Sarah A~ola called a 1riend for Christ," read Rachels Tears, The Spiritual journey of Columbine Manyr Rachel Scott, by her pan:nts Beth Nimmo and Damll Scott with Steve Rabey.

community Year of jubilee Sacrament of the Eucharist

SEPTEMBER EVENTS

PARISH DAYS OF EUCHARISTIC ADORATION -------------~*--------IN SEPTEMBER The Lansing Diocesan Sept.? Holy Redeemer Burton Theological Studies Program Sept. 8 St. Mary Star of the Sea course schedule has been jackson announced for fall 2000. Sept. 9 Christ the King flint Umrgical Catechesis (RST Sept. 14 Holy Cross Lansing 345) will be taught by Fr. Sept. 16 SS. Cornelius & Cyprian William Wegher at St. Mary Leslie Student Center, Ann Arbor, on Sept. 18 St. Robert BeUannine Tuesday evenings from 6:30flushing Sept. 21 St. MaHhew flint 9 :30p.m., Sept. 5-Dec. 12. Sept. 27 St. Michael flint Ministry, Management and Sept. 28 St. Michael Grand Leadership (RST 355), taught ~dgc by Dr. Joanne Bellaire, will be held at St. Pius X Parish, Aint, from 1-4 p.m. on Thursdays SUNDAY READINGS from Aug. 31 -Dec. 14. Queen ~mber3 of the Miraculous Medal, Twent;y-.second s~ in Jackson, will be the site for Dnli'!'I'Y n..e Ecdesiology (RST 313) to be Deuteronomy 4:1-g, 6-8 held Thursdays from 9 a.m.-12 Psalm 15:2-5 p.m., Aug. 31-Dec. 14, led by James 1: 17-18, 21b-22, 27 Fr. Randall Phillips. Peter Ries Mark 7:1·8, 14-1·5, 21-23 will instruct Catechetical Methodolgy (RST 365) at September 1 o Lansing's Diocesan Center on Twenty-dtfnf S~utday bt Saturdays from 9 a.m.- 12 Onltury nme p.m., Aug. 26-Dec. 9. Church Isaiah 35:4-7a History (RST 312), taught by Psalm. 146:7-1 0 Sr. Betty Haiss, OP, will be James 2:1-5 held Saturdays from Aug. 26Mark 7:31-37 Dec. 9 between 1-4 p.m. at Lansing's Diocesan Center. ~-17 Siena Heights University, Twenty-.(o.ut~J Slmday fn Adrian, will host the Old Onli'!'!r.)l nme Testament (RST 220) on Isaiah 50:5·9a Tuesdays and Thursdays from Psalm 116:1-6, 8-9 10 :30-11 :45 a.m., Aug. 29James 2:14-18 Dec. I 2. Dr. Susan Conley Mark 8:27-35 Weeks will teach the course. For details on the formation September 24 program, contact Mary Tardif Twenty-flftll SIUiday in at (51 7) 342-2512 or via eOnlbuuy nnee mail, mtardi@dioceseoflansWISdom 2:12, 17-20 ing.org Psalm 54:3-4, 5, 6"8 James 3 :16-4:3 The third of six scheduled Mark 9:30.37 diocesan Regional Missions focusing on prayer and daily Christian life will be held in FAITH is available on audiotape by request. Cell (517) 342-2500.

Aint, Sept. 17-20, from 7· 8:30 p.m., at Whiting Auditorium. Lonl, Teach Us to Pray, the theme of the mission, will be facilitated by the preaching team of Fr. Joseph Krupp, Chaplain, Lansing Catholic Central High School; Fr. Larry Delaney, Director, St. Francis Retreat Center; Fr. J. Munley, Chairman, Department of Formation, Diocese of Lansing; and Adrian Dominican Sister Carol Weber. Services for youth and young adults will be held on the second and third evenings of the mission headed by Fr. Krupp's team. Bishop Carl Mengeling will eelebrate Mass on the final evening, Sept. 20. No registralion is necessary -just "come and bring all your friends - all people of goodwill," says Sr. Rita Wenzlick, Director of the Office of Pastoral Planning. For more information, call (517) 342-2502. The Jackson Regional Mission will follow Sept. 24-27 at Queen of the Miraculous Medal Parish, 606 S. Wisner St., from 7-8:30 p.m. Once again, the preaching team of Fr. Krupp, Fr. Delaney, Fr. Munley, and Sr. Weber will facilitate. For information conceming the Jackson mission, call (517) 342-2502. Plans for the 2000 Senior Parishioners Appreciation Week are underway. The theme for the week is We arc all Gods People: Give Praise. All Masses will begin at 11 a.m. The following dates and host parish sites have been confirmed: Monday, Sept. 18: St. Paul, Owosso Tuesday, Sept. 19:

Oa.r Luly of Fatima, Michigan Center Tuesday, Sept. 19: St. Mary on the We, Manitou Beach Wednesday, Sept. 20: St. john, Davison Thursday, Sept. 21 : St. Michael, Grand Ledge Thursday, Sept. 21 : St. Andnw, Saline Friday, Sept. 22: Holy Spirit. Hamburg For information on the festivities, call the Aging Ministry Office at (517) 342-2467. The Young Adult Ministry Program for the Diocese of Lansing will celebrate A Time for the Holy Trinity during the Seasons 2000 Conference. The event, for adults in their 20s and 30s, single or married, will be held Saturday, Sept. 23, at St. Thomas the Apostle Chun:h, 51 7 Elizabeth St., Ann Arbor. Speakers include Sr. Ginny Silvestri, OSM, and Fr. Philip Gallagher. Bishop Carl Mengeling will eelebrate Mass. A dinner and a dance will also be featured. Celebrate with other young adults and grow in your faith! To register, call the Young Adult Ministry Office at (517) 342-2494. C.techeUcal Sunday, the annu· al national celebration of religious education that honors the contributions of those who serve the Lord through the teaching of adults, teenagers and children, will be celebrated Sunday, Sept. 17. The theme for this year's 65th anniversary celebration is A Year of Favor - Malting All Things New. Take the opportunity to acknowledge the dedication of your parish catechetical leaders.

[)

,~ROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Jesus traveled lh"s directton from Jerusalem to Galilee 6 To pray, to _ to give alms 10 To rub (LI} 14 Da•sy 15 much as 16 Cheese 17 Outward signs instituted by Christ 19 qua none 20 VI/hat sinners love 21 Could be English or Irish 23 VI/hat a ewe has to say 26 Means and 28 Rubs out 29 Member of the Qumran sect 31 Sarai's husband 33 Mar1<'s is a winged one 34 The finest one of this was brought to the Prodigal Son (Lk

42 43 44 45

15 22} Former polltical amance VI/hat the soldier thrust into Jesus' side (Jn 19·34} Patriarch or president Register • ... for _ _ _ and a tooth" ... (Mt 5·38) Ciao Care for

48 Hardened outer edge 50 Countenance 52 Broker 55 Gold coin of India

10 11 12 13 18

57 10 58 Sullivan and Laurie 59 Some cars can stop on one? 61 Of the non-clergy 62 In the Year of the Lord 68 Miss Kelt 69 ofthe Lord 70 VI/hat you can do with a tulfett 71 "Set me as a _ o n your heart." (Song of Songs B·S) 72 Brain tests (abbrev) 73 Reformation-era council DOWN 1 5, 10, 15 {abbrev) 2 A semt-synthetic ciUin 3 Fam room 4 Biblical city of King Hiram 5 .•. He ascended into {Nicene Creed) 6 ·consider the lilies of the __• (Mt 6;28 KJV) 7 Elizabeth Seton 8 Speedy means of travel One who 6 7

22 23

24 25

27 30 32

Agreements Corrects Ratah's wife Biblrcal measures Coal digger Plural of 28 across Florentine compliment From Korea, for example • .. he taught them __ having authority ... • (Mt 7 29) The day God rested Papal letter Red vegetable "And does eat

Old St. Patrick Parish, Ann Arbor; will host a Labor Day Festival Sept. 1·4. The event kicks off on Friday evening with a teen dance from 8 p.m.-midnight. AU teens are welcome! St. Mary Church, Williamston, will host the annual R011st Beef Dinner and Festival Sunday, Sept. 10 . For infonnation, con· tact the parish office at (51 7) 655-2620.

37 Spaces

38 39 41 46

Asian mobsters Past Spooky Do good and _ _ evil 49 Nader's, _ _ _ at

any Speed 51 Deepest 52 Hills' mates 53 Mother's relative 54 Santa _ racetrack 56 Aromas 60 Islamic title 63 Bom 64 Henpeck 65 Follows Edom or Israel 66 Cicero's not 67

~10~~-'T-:-~1":'1~3....

St. Michael Parish, Grand Ledge, will host Fall Festival 2000 on Saturday, Sept. 16. Festivities include a raffle, kids' tent, softball games, dinner, auction, silent auction, bake sale, crafts and "just good old socializing with friends and family~ All activities will be held outside under tents. For information, call the parish office at (51 7) 627· 8493. Bishop Carl Mengeling will bless the Way of the Cross section at St. joseph Cemetery, lAnsing, Saturday, Sept. 30, at 2 p.m.

Parishioners of St Robert Belfmmine GuhoUc Church, Ru.slting, have two reasons to celebrate - it's the 125lh anniversary of the founding of the church which just happens to coincide with Jubilee 2000. The anniversary festivities will kick off Sunday, Sept. 10, with a parish picnic: in the activity center from 1:30-6 p.m. A Famllwo Run/Walk event through the streets of Rushing will get underway at 1:45 p.m. the same day. Bishop Carl Mengeling will celebrate Mass at 10:45 a.m. on Sunday, Sept. l 7, the feast of St. Robert Bellannine. A parish day of Eucharistic Adoration follows on Monday, Sept. 18, from 8 a.m.-6 p.m., including Mass and Benediction. For infonnation, call the parish office at (81 0) 6592501.

LIVE WEB CHAT on Vocations to the Priesthood: Thursday, September 21 at 12 noon and 7 p.m. on www.FAITHmag.com

We Remember

from the Office of Cemeteries Ten Maues wHI be offered by • mlulonery from the Diocese of Lensing fOi''tliOH persons who were burled In our cloceNn cemeteries In June. l

Brother Bernie Spitzley, SVD, Is • Divine Word Mlsslonery c:uiTenUy on Hbbatlcelln Rome et Mluonarl Verbltl. He will soon mum to Our Ledy of the Assumption Perish In Jemelce. Brother SpitZley's ~ periSh .. st. ~ CethoiiC Church, Westphalia. H you would like to have memorial Masses offered by missionaries for your deceased loved ones, Hrid stipends to: DloceH of Lensing, 300 West Otblwe Street, Lensing, Ml 48833. Plene meke the check papble to "Miulonary of the MOnth.'' If ~ know 11 son or: daughter of the Lensing Diocese cyrrentty serving In 1 mluloil, Pfeue forWIN their names to: Mlulonliry of the Month Pri»gram, 300 West ottawa Street. Linslng, Ml 48833. GABRIEL PUBLICATIONS C) 1999

Teens look on at the ' Bethany House ground· breaking ceremonies held July 6. The stete-of·the-ert youth feclllty's scheduled completion date Is June 2001.

ence with Church and an encounter with jesus Christ," Corder said. And youths will have the Knights of Columbus to thank for helping make -----------------~----------------~--------------- Bethany House a reality. In By Evelyn Barelle the largest fund-raising drive The Catholic Times for any diocesan Knights of Columbus organization, the Deacon jim Corder, They're building it so you Knights of the Lansing will come. And your chilDirector of the Office of Diocese have pledged to Youth Ministry for the dren will come. And your raise $3 million toward the children's children will come. Lansing Diocese, and Brian construction of the facility. No, it isn't a field of Droste, Coordinator of "It's not easy," said Richard Youth Ministry and Director McCloy, immediate past dreams but a house of hope of Religious Education at St. state deputy of the Michigan and faith - Bethany House, that is. A 40,000 squareGerard Church in Lansing Knights of Columbus and foot, state-of-the-art youth and a member of the needs project chairman of Bethany retreat facUlty located on assessment committee for House. "Sometimes its like the 95 acres of SL Francis Bethany House, are most climbing Mount Everest, but Retreat Center In DeWitt. excited about the opportuyou and I cannot do enough "Bethany is an encounter nity to hold Youth for the most important peowith jesus, and that's what Leadership Camp at the ple among us - our young this is all about - leading new center next summer. people." the young people to the "It is going to be one of "If you really understand lord," said Bishop Carl the first places that says this the Incarnation, you underMengeling during groundis a quality meeting space stand that jesus is found in breaking ceremonies held with state-of-the-art techpeople," said Deacon july 6. nology, including audio Richard Savage, Business Bethany House will convisual equipment," Droste Manager of St. francis tain 50 bedrooms, a confercommented. Retreat Center. "Young peoence room, and theater-style "Bethany House will prople find faith in collaboraseating for up to 200. The vide the environment for tion, not solitude. Older facility will also have a youths all over the diocese people don't understand chapel, including a to have a significant experithat. They have life experi· Eucharistic reservation ences and need to reflect chapel where the tabernacle and process. You can't mix is located behind a glass an adult retreat and a youth wall because Bethany House retreat." may be used by the nonSavage said it is necessary Catholic population. A to create an environment 2,500 square-foot gathering where kids can have a core area will be filled with comfaith experience. "When fortable sofas, chairs and a young people are surroundlarge fireplace. ed by the beauty of the Total cost for the conare with peers grounds and struction is estimated at $4 who think the same way as million and the diocese they do, they all discover it's hopes for a completion date cool to have faith." of june 2001.

Diocese of lansing

For Generation Next ... Bethany House

local news

SPECIAL TEEN ISSUE

Teens Turn House Into Home By Klllhy Funk

Many teens might consider summer a time to kick back and enjoy lazy, hazy sunshine-filled days. Thats not the case with Catholic teens, however. just because it's summer vacation doesn't mean community service projects are put on the back burner, so to speak. Take for example the youth groups from St. Michael of Grand ledge, St. leo the Great, Flint, and St. joseph, South lyon. They traveled to an area that's robably not on any tourist aps - the north end of lint. While there, they rolled up their sleeves and helped tum a bumed out house Into a home for Janae Howell through the Salem Housing Task Force.

"I wanted to help somebody," said Wendy

Neubecker, 14, of Flint. "It's something when you've fixed a house for someone to live in. M jessy House· man, 15, of Grand ledge, echoed Wendy's sentiments by saying, "It's a pretty important reason (to help out). You're making a house liveable." According to Brian Epkey, Coordinator of Youth Ministry at St. Michael, the teens are also offering a mes· sage of hope. ~They see that they have gifts and talents to share,M he explained. "They are giving hope to the people living in the house and to thQse around this community.M The kids worked eight

.• ~.'9~ V. ~ I

hour-plus days scraping and painting the house located on Genesee Street. At night they camped out on the floor of the youth room at St. leo. This is the second year teens from St. Michael have been involved in the pro-

gram and the first for St. leo, although the parish has hosted work groups in the past. And it's the 15th year teens have journeyed from South Lyon to make a difference through Salem Housing Task Force projects. Most importantly, they helped to give someone a place to call home. This year that person was janae Howell who now has a home for herself as well as her newborn. "l'm very appreciative," Howell said or the teens' accomplishments.

The Best Experience

of My Life By S.r.h Ellsworth

From june 25-30, I aHended the Diocesan Youth Leadership Camp (DYLC) at Siena Heights University. I was asked by my youth leader to anend, and I had no idea what to expect when I got there. My faith in God wasn't as strong as it could have been, and I wasn't sure I was qualified to anend. I didn't know a soul, and I was really afraid, Soon, however, 1learned what DYLC was all about. I met dozens of kids who were struggling with the same problems and issues with God and their faith that I was. I couldn't believe that I wasn't the only one dealing with these problems. By the end of the week, I felt closer to God than 1 ever had before. I also felt that the people at camp were better friends than many of my companions at home. Before DYLC, I had never been in -w.FAITHmeg.com

such a loving, comforting, and frie ndly environment. 1 knew I could completely trust any of my fellow campers with a problem or concern I had. Saying goodbye to my friends at camp was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Since I've been home, I've worked hard to rely on God more, instead of trying to do everything by myself. I can honestly say that DYLC was the best experience of my entire life. I am forever in debt to those at camp and the friendship, trust, and love they provided me. Editor~ Note: Sarah is a sophomore in high school and attends St. Gerard Parish, Lansing. Stpltmbtr 2000

FAITH Magazine

the world Study finds divorce toughest on boys

Pope welcomes over a million youths from all over the world

NEW YORK-

A study sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health, reported in a recent issue of journal of Marriage and the Family, found that the loss of the father in divorce is more stressful for boys than girls. The sons of divorced parents are twice as likely to suffer depression and other adjustment problems than those in intact families. The girls, too, show an increased number of behavioral problems from the conflict of divorce, though not as markedly higher. According to researcher Ronald Simons, while most children eventually adjust to divorce, the study shows that "perhaps even optimal post-divorce circumstances are not sufficient to compensate for the sadness experienced by boys because of the departure of their father from the home." The report also showed that parental conflict in intact families causes less harm to children than the conflict associated with divorce.

VATICAN CITY-

The Jubilee World Youth Day congregated some of the largest crowds of the I entire Holy Year. It is estimated that between 1 million and 1.5 million young I pilgrims visited the Eternal City August 19-20. One of the largest groups of youth in attendance were the French. More than 80,000 teens eagerly awaited meeting \vith the pope, in the wake of the extremely successful World Youth Day held in Paris in August, 1997. There was also a significant representation from Cuba: a total of 50 boys and girls - the largest Cuban delegation in the history of World Youth Day. Some 200 youths came from the Republic of the Congo. According to Deacon Jim Corder, Director of Youth Ministry for the Diocese of Lansing, more than 230 youths from approximately 21 parishes across the diocese attended World Youth Day in Rome. CZENm

New computer game aims to help teens make wise choices --------- - --------------------------- - --------- -- -

RAMSEY, NJ -

Sometimes a teenager has to learn by making mistakes. But the producer of a new interactive computer game hopes some teenagers can learn to make good choices by making mistakes - only in a virtual world. The Choice Game described as "an interactive soap opera on CD-ROM" was created by the Several Sources Foundation in Ramsey, which has been offering shelter to pregnant women, new mothers and their children since 1981. The game arose directly from the real-life experiences of the women who lived at the organizations shelters. As the virtual characters go through a series of dating experiences, they face decisions not only about whether to have premarital sex but also about the occult, drugs. swearing, drinking, fast driving, work, school and other topics. As the game begins, the player can choose the main male and female characters and their best friends, as well as whether the player will be in a famtly with just

a mother, just a father or both parents. The Choice Game comes in a Catholic version and a nondenominational Christian version. All dialogue for the clergy was reviewed and edited by Fr. Frank Pavone, President of Priests for Life, and the Rev Johnny Hunter, National Director of Life Education and Resource Network Inc. and his Choice Game ministry committee. Plans are being made for a secular, a Jewish and a Muslim version, depending on the success of the first two versions. ~ I never realized how much not deciding can help me to learn more about a person or a situation,~ said one young woman who worked on the CD-ROM. Editor's Note: The Choice Game can be purchased for $19.95 plus $6.95 shipping and handling in a Catholic or nondenominational version and with or without chat room access by visiting the Web site at www.thechoicegame.com or calling (888) 2BY.GAME. A demo version of the game als can be played on the Web site. CCNSJ

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eLastWord ... The new CDÂˇROM "The Choice Game" depicts teens In situations where they have to make tough decisions and shows where they can tum for help. The game comes In two versions, one with a Catholic focus and the other wHh a nondenominational Christian focus.

Young baseball prospect keeps his spiritual center WARWICK, R I. -

Rocco Baldelli, an 18-yearold graduate of Bishop Hendricken Catholic High School in Warwick, is the center of a lot of attention these days. Since being selected by he Tampa Bay Devil Rays in Âˇ e first round of major eague baseballs draft of free agents, baseballs most recent golden boy is undergoing a media blitz from local and national media. The 6-foot-4, blue-eyed, soft-spoken "super jock" reponedly is passing up a full scholarship to Wake Forest University in Nonh Carolina to sign a contract with the Tampa Bay team wonh between $2.5 million and $3 million. ''I'm not worried about Rocco amid the 'temptations'

of six-figure pro spans," said Fr. Marcel L. Taillon, Hendrickens chaplain, who says he knows "Rocco Baldelli, the person." "lt's trying to be a good person and always trying to do the right thing -like asking yourself in a situation, 'What would jesus do?' Thats most imponant," Baldelli told the Providence Vrsitor, the newspaper of the Providence Diocese. "Hes the kind of individual to go out there and bring Christ into places where He is really needed right now," said Fr. Taillon. Baldelli said the most imponant thing for him is "just trying to stay true to myself," and that his Catholic education "has taught me the right way to do things and has ingrained some important values in me." When asked if it takes a great team to make a great star, Baldelli replied, Rlt takes a great team to do anythmg in life." By William F McCaufltcy Ill (CNS)

The Joy of God A Word to the Youth of the Church Most Rev. Kenneth J; Povlsh

Before the new liturgy in English was incroduced. Mass used to begin with recitation of P.salm 42 in Latin by the priest and the altar boys. "Introibo ad altare Dei," the celebrant started out (I will go to the altar of God). Jibe servers continued with "Ad.Deum qui lattiftcat juvmtutem mtam" (To God who gives joy to my youth). 11hat latter phrase was the first Latin prayer your grandfathers and great-uncles had to memorize when they trained to be altar servers before 1965 It was years after I learned that verse from Psalm 42 before I fully realized tlie wisdom and truth of it. It is God, our Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier who gives us real, lasting joy in life. Pope john Paulll relates to young people better than any other celebrity around. 1 wish 1 could ~ to you with his vigor and love, his earnestness and eloquence. During the weekend of World Youth Day in Denver in 1993, I joined dozens of youth ministers and more than 600 young people from our diocese to bear the Holy Father tell our youth to be proud of the Gospel, to entrust their lives to Chrlsr, and.to "keep your eyes fixed on jesus." In the course of his addresses to some 400,000 people from all over the wodd, tlie Pope spoke sptaifically to European and American youth about the culnn in which they live. He said the consumerist and technological society has succeeded in multiplying the opportunities for pleasure, but it has great difficulty in generatingjoy. This is so, the Holy Father said, because joy comes from another source: it is spiritual and comes from God. Kids today have deSigner clothes and access to drugs; they can ride in fast cars and are urged to use condoms; they spend much time with television and electronic toys. Yet strangely, after automobile accidents, the most frequent cause of death among the young is suicide. Why fs this? Its because the culture of today, as promoted in the media, confuses pleasure with ]oy. Pleasure is shon and fleeting; joy is deep and lasting. 'Fhe culture rejects the Commandments and the morality taught by jesus because it sees them (and the Church that teaches them) as the enemy of the so-called freedom to do as one pleases. Yet true f~dom, Pope john Haul reminds us, comes not from doing what I want for pleasure here and now, but from doing what God wants and following His plan as outlined in the Gospel. Jlhe Holy Fathet: once remarked that the Gospel is like the ownerS manual that comes with a new car. The auto maker lmows what is in the machine, how it should be maintained, and how to get the best and most use out of iL A wise owner follows the manual Likewise, God made us and lmows what is in us. For the llest results in life, we are wise if we follow the manual He gave us - the Gospel. lt is God who gives joy to our youth! You can be sure that God will give you a goodly and godly share of pleasure in life. But real, deepdown joy, the true foundation of youth for all of us, only comes from living according to the Gospel. Young people, go to the altar of Gog, to God who gives joy to your youth.

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