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Ka te www.FAITHmag.com www.FAITHteen.com

June 2004

From Bishop Mengeling:

how a mother's death brought a prodigal son back into the farllily's life Mother Teresa House: the

anteroom of heaven Dear Fr. Joe:

are cremation and organ donation OK? Work life:

jobless? some spiritual tips Spiritual fitness:

how to get rid of vengeance and forgive

The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

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see all issues of life with new clarity they form a seamless garment f r o m

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C. Jones

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was ten years old and a fifth grader when I first began to notice that I was having difficulty reading the blackboard at school. At first, I didn’t pay much attention to the fact that my vision wasn’t as clear as it should be. As the school year wore on, though, my grades began to slip. Finally, one afternoon, while having a snack after school, I asked my mom why it was that I could see more clearly through one eye than the other. I got my first pair of glasses a few weeks later and have worn glasses ever since. On the ride home from the ophthalmologist’s office, I noticed something rather strange. As I looked out on the world, I could see that trees had individual leaves on their branches – they weren’t just amorphous bunches of green. I was able to see the world in greater detail than ever before and my school work steadily improved. I could see things in the distance that I had previously been unable to distinguish. With the assistance of new lenses, I was able to see the world as never before. The commandments function as kinds of “lenses” for us. Each of them permits us to see the world, our relationship with God and our relationships with one another with a new kind of clarity. The Fifth Commandment, “You shall not kill,” enjoins upon us a respect for all life, most especially human life from the moment of conception until the time of natural death. The commandment does not simply mean that murder is forbidden, but rather encourages us to examine more deeply all that we do that either deprives or supports the gift of life. The Fifth Commandment links together a host of issues – from abortion to euthanasia, capital punishment to the Just War theory, and many more. It weaves them together into a “seamless garment” that seeks to cherish life from many perspectives. As the late Cardinal Joseph Bernardin wrote, the Fifth Commandment challenges us to form a consistent ethic of life. The sin of abortion has taken a massive toll – not only on the millions of unborn children who never lived to see the light of day, but also on the lives of the mothers and fathers who made a dreadful decision to end the life of a child. The guilt and sorrow that come from abortion can be a terrible burden. Project Rachel seeks to assist post-abortive mothers and fathers through the process of healing and reconciliation. Project Rachel offers hope for the future. Our state of Michigan was known, for a while, as the home of Dr. Death – Jack Kevorkian. Kevorkian’s misguided efforts to relieve pain and suffering caused the beginnings of revolutionary response to caring for the terminally ill. Mother Teresa House, a beautiful home located in downtown Lansing, is a wonderful example of what can happen when trained professionals and volunteers band together in faith to bring dignity, comfort and true freedom from pain and suffering to the last days of the terminally ill. Chelsea’s St. Louis Center seeks to serve the mentally impaired and their families by teaching the center’s residents how to live more independently, allowing many to eventually return to their families or to the community. Society often seeks to sweep the mentally impaired under the rug in order to keep them from view. The talented staff of St. Louis Center instead seeks to help them take their rightful and dignified place in the world. The Fifth Commandment gives new ways to see the wondrous gift of life that God shares with us. It also challenges us to be faith-filled stewards of that gift. And so our journey in FAITH continues. – Fr. Dwight Ezop is editor of FAITH Magazine and pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Jude.

The Fifth Commandment, “You shall not kill,” enjoins upon us a respect for all life, most especially human life from the moment of conception until the time of natural death.

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Cover Story

It’s the dawn of a new day, metaphorically speaking, for Dawn Smith. Dawn has found hope and healing from participating in Project Rachel, a ministry for those suffering from an abortion experience. f e a t u r e s

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how kids with a lifetime of trouble become happy

“To see those kids who have had a lifetime of troubles, abuse and neglect now become happy and part of a family can’t help but affect you. Every time you see these kids, you see the face of God.”

for Catholics? If yes, why? Doesn’t the Bible say that our bodies rise from the dead? How will all that work? What about cremation?

In the know with Fr. Joe: Dear Fr. Joe: Is organ donation OK

– Fr. Joseph Krupp

8 This nine-part series on the Second Vatican Council continues with Part 2 of Lumen Gentium. Awakening to Theology 101

the mystery of the Church – why look deeply at the Church? – Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist

10 When I witnessed a prodigal son being embraced by the family at his mother’s funeral, I began to see the From the Bishop:

The anteroom of heaven: Mother Teresa House

Agnes was all alone in the world. She was dying and was found on the floor. Mother Teresa House took her in. She was no longer alone. Someone cared – about her life and her death.

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connecting: good listening and speaking skills money: what is your ‘ouch’ factor? romance: remember to stop, look and listen time tip: make a date

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Dresser full of love

Fill the drawers with items a pregnant mother without means might need

intimate link between the Fifth Commandment and all facets of a person’s life, which may be affected for better or for worse. – Bishop Carl F. Mengeling

17 Job loss? Spiritual guidance for career transition 21 How to teach your kids to respect life 22 How to rid yourself of vengeance 31 Fr. Charles Irvin asks the tough questions about life: Does human life belong to us or God? Work Life:

– Tim Ryan

The Journey:

– Dr. Cathleen McGreal

Spiritual Fitness:

– Fr. Bill Ashbaugh

Last Word:

– Fr. Charles Irvin m o v i e s

FAITH talks to the makers of ‘Raising Helen’: It’s about a

woman whose life dramatically changes: she has to care for her sister’s kids.

Liturgical Calendar: St. Justin, Martyr June 1 | Sts. Marcellinus and Peter, Martyrs June 2 | St. Charles Lwanga and Companions, Martyrs June 3

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The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling PUBLISHER

Rev. Charles Irvin FOUNDING EDITOR

your thoughts on: J.F.K., hunting and Easter

June 2004 • Volume 5 : Issue 5

l e t t e r s @ f a i t h m a g . c o m

Rev. Dwight Ezop

FAITH Magazine, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Patrick M. O’Brien MANAGING EDITOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Alton Pelowski ASSISTANT EDITOR/WEBMASTER

Jillane Job SUBSCRIPTIONS/SECRETARY

Evelyn Weitzel SUBSCRIPTIONS

Patrick Dally GRAPHIC/WEB DESIGNER

Rev. William Ashbaugh Sr. John Mary Corbett, O.P Bob Horning Elizabeth Johnson Rev. Joseph Krupp Patricia Majher Sr. Maria Gemma Martek, O.P. Cathleen McGreal Sr. Elizabeth Ann O’Reilly, O.P. Cate Preston Tim Ryan Nancy Schertzing Sr. Maria Faustina Showalter, O.P. Elizabeth Martin Solsburg CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Margaret Perrone PROOFREADING

Tom Gennara Christine Jones James Luning (cover) Philip Shippert CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

I have to commend you on the incredible resource you provide for all Catholics through FAITHMag.com and FAITHteen.com. I live in the Joliet diocese in Illinois and would love to see something of this quality be developed here. There is a real need for “nonchurchy” sources of Catholic information for our youth (it’s a tough audience!) and FAITHteen does a wonderful job. ... We need a printed Catholic teen magazine for our kids that represents the Catholic viewpoint – one which shows them it is very cool to be Catholic. I am extremely grateful to you for this online ministry. Very sincerely, – Susan Francesconi

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Faith Magazine: I wish to express my displeasure with the cover of the April issue. I think it was very insensitive that a magazine promoting faith and Christianity would put two hunters on the cover for Easter! The Church is supposed to do all it can to promote the resurrection. I was very heartbroken that the magazine spoiled the joy of Easter for so many people. – Jeanette Patterson

Just a quick comment on the picture of John F. Kennedy on Page 7 of the May ’04 issue: although he was the first Catholic president, knowing what we now know about him, is this something to

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be proud of? He, along with most of his male family members, obviously didn’t know the first thing about the sanctity of marriage. So, do we continue to brag that he was the first Catholic president of the United States – in name only – or do we look for other people who have done great things during their lifetime, while maintaining their faith and their own dignity? ... Perhaps a better representative for this section of your magazine could be selected next time. President Harry S. Truman was a Baptist, but his morals were above reproach. – Patricia L. Gardner

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b o o k

Bob Patten CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR

Wayne Case Vicki Bedard David Fenech Patricia Garcia Diane Nowak Margaret Perrone James Rhadigan Ricardo Rodriguez David Rosenberg Rev. James Swiat Peter Wagner Sharon Wimple ADVISORY BOARD

Elizabeth Martin Solsburg FAITHhelps

Tim Ryan FAITH Publishing Service

InnerWorkings PRINT MANAGEMENT FAITH (USPS 019993) is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. Published monthly except February and August. Subscription rates are $15 per year. Individual issues are $2.50. Send all subscription information and address changes to 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933; (517) 342-2595; fax (517) 342-2537 or e-mail j job@dioceseoflansing.org. Periodicals Postage Paid at Lansing, MI or additional offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: FAITH, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933. ©Catholic Diocese of Lansing.

Peter and Judas: same sin – why a different outcome? e “Out of the depths, I cry to thee, O Lord!” In Psalm 130, David pleads for God’s forgiveness, “ ... because with the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.” As we turn our thoughts to center on the Passion that brought about our redemption, we think of two of the apostles from the Passion narrative. Both Peter and Judas illustrate this rescue “from the depths.” Both men were sinners – in fact, both committed the same sin. They betrayed Jesus of Nazareth. According to the poet Dante, both of them yielded to the worst of crimes – betraying a dear friend. Note how differently they ended up. Peter became the chief of Apostles and the leader of the new Christian faith. Judas died in disgrace, a shell of a man, a suicide. What made the difference? Peter realized that no one could sink so low that the mercy and power of Christ cannot raise him up – a lesson

Judas either did not listen to or did not comprehend. The Lord Jesus came to earth to reveal to us the heart of the Father. His ministry was characterized by forgiving and healing as much or even more than it was characterized by His teaching. It is by all means significant in the Gospel that Jesus is portrayed as declaring that He healed the body “that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” (Mark 2:10) A true encounter with Jesus the Christ leads people to an awareness of their sins and their alienation from God; the call to the kingdom means leaving one’s past and embracing a new way of living. The wonder of Christianity is that it uncovers the sinful nature of so much conduct, not to plunge us into despair but to offer God’s reconciliation and healing. Purchase Bishop Povish’s book on FAITHmag.com

St. Boniface, Bishop and Martyr June 5 | The Most Holy Trinity June 6 | St. Ephrem, Deacon and Doctor of the Church June 9 | St. Barnabas, Apostle June 11 | The Most Holy Body and Blood o

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of Americans say the war in Iraq is going badly. 42% say it was a mistake to send troops to Iraq. 51% think the situation will be like Vietnam Gallup 4/04

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a mother’s confession: why it’s a lot like going to the dentist

hen my mouth opens, my sins are obvious. Their stain colors each word crossing my lips. I need cleansing, and it’s a process I generally dread, but afterward, find refreshing, rejuvenating. It’s tabula rasa – a clean slate. I’m deep in thought, eyes closed, while the gentle young man behind me – whose face I can’t see – probes and checks for any unmentioned transgressions. And right about then I realize, being here in this dentist’s chair is a lot like going to confession. w e b

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I admit I don’t avail myself of this extraordinary sacrament as often as I should. Probably because it goes something like this: I take my daughter to confession on a Saturday afternoon. She dashes in and out of the reconciliation room without breaking a sweat. Then it’s my turn. I take the opportunity to receive absolution, but also to talk with my priest about my family and marriage. I want to improve my service to God as a wife and mother. When I emerge from the confessional, Katie nearly shouts, “Mom, what took you so long? You must have had a lot of sins!” I can hear the priest laughing behind the door. Read the rest of Marybeth Hicks’ article along with other exclusive essays, features and news briefs only on FAITHmag.com

St. Aloysius: this teen stood up to his dad and gave up the rich life s a i n t

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St. Aloysius Gonzaga Born March 9, 1568 in the Castle of Castiglione, Spain Died June 21, 1591 Feast: June 21 Claim to fame: As a teenager, Aloysius gave up his inheritance and entered the Society of Jesus, the Jesuits. He was a brilliant scholar and also a merciful caretaker of the sick, nursing them through the plague and then dying of it himself. Famous first words: “Jesus and Mary” were Aloysius’s first words, according to tradition. That became the motto for his life. A wealthy childhood: Aloysius’ father was a marquis in the court of King Philip II of Spain. At age eight, Aloysius was sent to Francesco d’Medici’s palace in Florence, as a page. At 12, he went to Brescia, where he met St. Charles Borromeo and received his first Communion from him. He was deeply influenced by Charles, and the seeds of a religious vocation were sown. Back to Spain: In 1581, Aloysius went back to Spain, where his father placed him and his brother as pages to Prince James, the son of Philip. At court, Aloysius was drawn to the Discalced Carmelites, but decided to become a Jesuit instead. Giving up on the things of this world: Aloysius went back to Italy in 1584, and after many arguments with his father, renounced his heritage in favor of his brother. The renunciation was such a serious matter that it required the approval of the Emperor, since Castiglione was a fief of the Empire. Aloysius then went to Father Claudius Acquaviva, who accepted him into the Jesuit Order on Nov. 25, 1585, when he was 17. Scholar and saint: Aloysius was a brilliant philosopher, even as a teen. He also passed difficult public examinations in mathematics and theology as well as philosophy. In 1591, his fourth year of theology at the university of Alcala, a plague broke out in Italy. Even though he was in frail health due to a lifelong kidney ailment, he took care of the sick and dying. He contracted the plague himself and died of it in 1591. A short life: Aloysius lived a short but full life. He was a man about whom you can easily say, “He really knew how to live.” – Elizabeth Martin Solsburg

nd Blood of Christ June 13 | The Most Sacred Heart of Jesus June 18 | The Immaculate Heart of Mary June 19 | St. Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious June 21 | St. Paulinus of Nola, Bishop June 22

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Dear Fr. Joe: are cremation and organ donation OK? i n

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Dear Fr. Joe: Is organ donation OK for Catholics? If yes, why? Doesn’t the Bible say that our bodies rise from the dead? How will all that work? What about cremation?

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I have a friend who runs a business where they reupholster furniture. Recently, he got sick, but thank God now, he is fully recovered. Okay, that one was bad, I know. How about the one about the chicken who crossed the road? It was poultry in motion. At the advice of my Great bunch of questions! attorney, I will stop In order to answer them, I am going to give us all some now, and get right preliminary information that should, hopefully, clarify the to the questions … Church’s teachings. In Scripture, we learn that we will experience two resurrections. First, our souls rise after we die. Second, our bodies join our souls at the second coming of Christ. So, until the second coming, our souls are at their admissible directly to bring cremation and organ donafinal judgment. Then, after about the disabling mutilation tion is the same result that Christ returns, our bodies or death of a human being, time will basically have on rise to join our souls. This is even in order to delay the us. With organ donation, the just one of the reasons the death of other persons.” (2296) only concern is that it is Church has so many teachNow, in terms of cremadone with consent and withings that revolve around tion, the Catechism states, out harming anyone. With respecting our bodies. Our “The Church permits crema- cremation, the primary conbodies are destined for tion, provided that it does cern is that our faith in the great things in the kingdom not demonstrate a denial of resurrection of the body is of God! faith in the resurrection of maintained. Anyway, with that backthe body.” (2301) How do we know that ground, let’s see what the So, the Church encourfaith in the resurrection is Catechism has to say. This ages organ donation and maintained? This one is hard first quote concerns organ accepts cremation. Since to judge in others. We can donation: “Organ donation this is the case, we can usually only tell about our after death is a noble and assume that neither idea own belief. A key is that we meritorious act and is to be runs contrary to our belief in avoid saying or doing things encouraged as an expression the resurrection of our bod- that indicate that the of generous solidarity. It is not ies. How can this be? deceased body is “just a morally acceptable if the To put it bluntly, when we shell.” We treat that body as donor or his proxy has not die, our bodies become sub- sacred. Let’s look at some given explicit consent. ject to the laws of nature. things to avoid, then, if we Moreover, it is not morally The results of the process of are going to choose crema-

joeinblack@priest.com

tion for our burial or the burial of a loved one: “Its just a shell.” I hear this a lot, and as Catholics, we have to remember that it is not true. Our bodies are destined for great things in the kingdom of heaven, and we need to remember that God made them sacred. Scattering of ashes. We need to avoid this. We must treat the deceased body as we would a noncremated body. The ashes must be placed in a single container and buried in a columbarium or graveyard. Wearing of the ashes. I know that some have taken the ashes of their beloved dead and placed them in amulets that they wear. Again, this is not the way we would treat the body of one who was not cremated, so we don’t do it to one that is. So, what if we have done one or more of these things already? Keep in mind a really simple premise: God does not judge us for what we do not know, through no fault of our own. All of us have made mistakes in unintentional ignorance. I truly can’t imagine anyone treating the dead in a way the Church tells us not to out of malice. So, as God asks us to do every day of our lives, we learn from our errors and accept God’s wonderful, loving and freely given mercy.

St. John Fisher, Bishop and Martyr June 22 | St. Thomas More, Martyr June 22 | The Nativity of John the Baptist June 24 | St. Irenaeus, Bishop and Martyr Ju

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what year did the pope return to Poland? h i s t o r y

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37%

of Americans say they would like to see abortion laws become more strict. 20% less strict 40% stay as they are Gallup 4/04

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Pope John Paul II became the first pope in history to visit a communist country, when he returned to his native Poland on June 2, WHAT YEAR? CNS/Arutro Mari

What do you like most about being a father?

John Bartlett, famous for his collection of “Familiar Quotations,” was born in Plymouth, Mass., on June 14, WHAT YEAR? A quotation by Bartlett about his work states, “I have gathered a posie of other men’s flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is mine own.”

Last month, FAITH discussed the commandment, “Honor your father and mother,” and asked second graders what they like most about their parents. On Sunday, June 20, Father’s Day will be celebrated. So, for this month, FAITH asked members of the St. Vincent de Paul Society at St. Casimir Parish, Lansing, “What do you like most about being a father?”

Read whatever you want! The Vatican announced that its “Index of Prohibited Books,” created in 1557, had been abolished on June 14, WHAT YEAR? Kids – don’t try this at home! Benjamin Franklin and his son conducted an experiment with a kite and a key during a thunderstorm, confirming Franklin’s theory that lightning is electrical, on June 15, WHAT YEAR? Answers: 1979, 1820, 1966, 1752

Dear Fr. Joe: Why does the Church seem so judgmental? I appreciate how you worded your question – you avoided judging, didn’t you? Way to go! Alright, on to the answer ... I think a lot of times, the Church seems harsh and judgmental because she is trying to teach us difficult things. All of us have had that experience of having to be told the difficult thing. Usually, what helps us understand that the person is trying to help us is that we know them. For example, I remember the time my mother told me to stop playing under power lines Martyr June 28 |

during thunderstorms. Sure, at first I was mad at her for cutting into my happy play time, but in the end, I began to see that it was affecting me negatively. Hey, I was only 24. Okay, bad example. In the end, I guess what it comes down to is, when people we know have to tell us “the hard thing,” it’s easier to take than when a stranger does. Even if we disagree in the end, if we know them and know they love us, it’s easier to take. Well, I think it can be hard to “know the Church.” And that can make the Church seem harsh and judgmental sometimes. So what do we do? I think we need to see that the moti-

“Watching my children mature and become independent adults.” Richard “Hal” Angevine

“Having, sharing and growing in a relationship with each of my girls.” Bob Brown

vation for the Church is the same as it is for our parents or friends, who say the hard thing because they love us. Looking at the word “respect,” we see two Latin words brought together: Re, which means “again” and “spect” from a Latin root word meaning “to look at” – spectator, spectacles, etc. So, if we want to respect the Church, we need to look at it again and see what it really is — our Christian Mother, teaching us right and wrong and guiding us in our lives. Send your Questions to: “In the Know with Fr. Joe” JoeInBlack@priest.com

Sts. Peter and Paul, Apostles June 29 | The First Holy Martyrs of the Holy Roman Church June 30

“Being able to help my children when they are in need, both financially and spiritually.” Dick Nickoff

Oops – I did it again What to do when you sin: 1 First, Forgiveness. Go to God in the sacrament of reconciliation with your contrite heart and ask Him to forgive you. Receive this forgiveness. 2 Then, if another person is involved in the sin. Isn’t that always the case? Seek their forgiveness. This is called reconciliation, too. 3 Then, get up and get running again! “The first movement of the prayer of petition is asking forgiveness, like the tax collector in the parable: ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ (Luke 18:13) It is a prerequisite for righteous and pure prayer.” (CCC 2631) Enjoy another day in God’s presence! – Fr. Joseph Krupp June 2004

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looking at the Church a visible and invisible reality I I

The Dogmatic Constitution of the Church, Lumen Gentium, is an invitation to all members of the Church to awaken to the mystery of the Church and to more deeply understand their individual roles in this mystery. What benefit comes from reflecting on the nature and mission of the Church? What does this have to do with the daily challenges that are part and parcel of living one’s Catholic faith authentically? Before answering these questions, it is fitting to take a closer look at Chapter 1 of Lumen Gentium and reflect on the reality of the Church as a mystery. Mystery, from the Greek mysterion, meaning something hidden or secret, can be compared to that of a vast ocean. Standing on the shore, one sees the visible surface of the ocean, but the great depths are hidden and unfathomable to the beholder. In other words, there is more to the Church than meets the eye! The Council Fathers reaffirm the constant teaching from Scripture and Tradition that the one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church to which one becomes a member at baptism is at the

same time both a “visible assembly” and a “spiritual community” – an “earthly Church and a Church enriched with heavenly things.” (LG 8) The Church has both human and divine elements. The lens with which one views the Church affects one’s receptivity to her teachings. When one loses sight of the fact that the Church is a mystery, there is a tendency to see the Church in one of two erroneous ways. The first is to view the Church in strictly human terms, reducing her to the likeness of any other corporate institution. The other extreme is to “spiritualize” the Church, which downplays the role of worshipping with an assembled Church community and other visible structures such as the hierarchy. Lumen Gentium is a powerful reminder to Catholics that the Church is a holy society, with necessary, visible structures that were instituted by Christ Himself.

Over the course of history, by reason of the fact that the Church is a mystery, scholars have used Scriptural images such as the mystical body, sheepfold and cultivated field, as a means to meditate on the nature of the Church. The principal biblical image incorporated into Lumen Gentium by the Vatican II Council Fathers is the Church as the “People of God,” from 1 Peter 2:9-10. Chapter 2 of Lumen Gentium presents the Church as a body composed of members whose various vocations are God-given, interrelated and complementary. “All men and women are called to belong to the new people of God.” (LG 13) The “People of God” includes the laity, religious and hierarchy – bishops, priests, and deacons. Each participates in the mission of the Church and in Christ’s priestly, prophetic and kingly offices in different ways according to their vocation. Other chapters of Lumen Gentium serve to reflect more particularly on each of these vocations: Chapter 3 – members of the hierarchy, especially bishops; Chapter 4 – the laity; and Chapter 6 – religious life. A related emphasis of Lumen Gentium is understanding the Church as a communion with Jesus Christ. Communion with Jesus Christ is, in fact, the deepest vocation of the Church. (LG 51) In Jesus Christ, all the members of the People of God are in communion with one another in their various vocations. Special attention is given in Lumen Gentium to the particular way that bishops exist in communion with one another for the good of the Church. The Church is not a democracy or a monarchy, but has a unique, divinely instituted manner of exercising authority through her bishops united to the pope. The exercise of such authority is called collegiality. As the Catechism states, “The college or body of bishops has no authority unless united with the Roman pontiff as its head.” (CCC 883, cf. LG 22) This collegial character is expressed most solemnly when the bishops gather for an ecumenical council, but also during synods of

The single best way to really grasp the teachings of the Second Vatican Council is to read the documents. Log onto the Vatican’s Web site: www.vatican.va/archive/

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C. Mengeling

Bishop Mengeling’s Vatican II photos from left: The world’s cardinals are seated toward the front. Observers from other Christian denominations are shown seated behind the presider’s table. The council sessions were presided over by three council presidents.

– Sr. Maria Faustina Showalter, O.P., Sr. John Mary Corbett, O.P., Sr. Maria Gemma Martek O.P., and Sr. Elizabeth Ann O’Reilly, O.P. are Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, Ann Arbor.

Plumbing the Depths The following images of the Church outlined in Lumen Gentium are all “variations” on the central theme of the People of God. The Sheepfold – John 10:1-15; Isa 40, 11; Exod 34:11 and following; 1 Pet 5:4 A Cultivated Field – 1 Cor 3:9, Rom 11:13-26; Matt 21:33-43; Isa 5:1 and following The Building of God – 1 Cor 3:9; Matt 21:42; 1 Cor 3:11; 1 Tim 3:15; Eph 2:19-22 A Spotless Bride – Rev 19: 7; 21:2; 9:22, 17; Eph 5:24,26, 29

Related Conciliar Documents Here is a list of some Vatican II conciliar documents which aim at focusing on certain topics and vocations related to the Church, discussed in Lumen Gentium: Christus Dominus: Decree on the Pastoral Office of Bishops in the Church on the particular vocation of bishops in shepherding the flock of Christ Presbyterorum Ordinis: Decree on the Ministry and Life of Priests on the nature and richness of the ministerial priesthood Optatam Totius: Decree on the Training of Priests on the preparation and formation of seminarians Perfectae Caritatis: Decree on the Up-to-Date Renewal of Religious Life on the renewal of religious life – e.g. nuns, sisters and religious priests Apostolicam Actuositatem: Decree on the Apostolate of Lay People on the indispensible role of the laity in the life of the Church Ad Gentes: Decree on the Church’s Missionary Activity on the universal plan of God for the salvation of humanity, and how it concerns you Unitatis Redintegratio: Decree on Ecumenism on the principles of ecumenism with baptized Christians who are non-Catholic C. Mengeling

bishops and through the work of bishops’ conferences. Prior to Vatican II, a common misconception was prevalent among Catholics that only the “priests and the sisters” could become holy, or at least they are the only ones who were obliged to actually strive to live a holy life. However, Chapter 5 of Lumen Gentium clarifies that “in the Church, everyone, whether belonging to the hierarchy, or being cared for by it, is called to holiness.” (LG 39) “All the faithful of Christ are invited to strive for the holiness and perfection of their own proper state. Indeed they have an obligation to so strive.” (LG 42) When you begin to view your vocation in the Church as a part of a mystery, you begin to recognize that simply “going to church” is not enough of a response to such a profound call. Being a Catholic involves much more than that, and encompasses the whole of one’s life. Lumen Gentium is a startling invitation to all of the People of God, with different vocations, to recognize and embrace the beauty of our participation in the mission of the Church.

Who are the People of God? Let us look to the document Lumen Gentium for clarity into the distinct identity and mission of the various members of the “People of God.” Pope: The pope is the successor of St. Peter, the head or leader of the Apostles. He is the vicar of Christ on earth and is the visible head of the Church. “The Roman Pontiff ... is the perpetual and visible source and foundation of the unity of both the bishops and of the whole company of the faithful ... (He) has full, supreme and universal power over the whole Church.” (LG 22-23)

Bishops: The successors of the Apostles, “the bishops receive the charge of the community, presiding in God’s stead over the flock of which they are the shepherds in that they are teachers of doctrine, ministers of sacred worship and holders of office in government.” (LG 20) Priests: Co-workers with the bishops, “priests are consecrated in order to

preach the Gospel, and shepherd the faithful as well as to celebrate divine worship as true priest of the New Testament ... ” (LG 28) Deacons: Co-workers with bishops and priests, deacons assist at Mass, bless marriages, proclaim the Gospel, baptize, preside over funerals and perform other tasks. The permanent diaconate, which can be conferred on married men, was restored at Vatican II. (cf. LG 29) Laity: The laity are the baptized who “in their own way share the priestly, prophetic and kingly office of Christ. ... All the faithful except those in Holy Orders and those who belong to a religious state approved by the Church are the laity.” (LG 31) Religious: “Religious have the duty of working for the implanting and strengthening of the kingdom of Christ in souls and for spreading it to the four corners of the earth. ... Christ proposed to His disciples this form of life, which He, as the Son of God, accepted in entering this world to do the will of the Father.” (LG 44) June 2004

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how a mother’s death brought a prodigal son back to family life f r o m

t h e

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I began to see the intimate link between the Fifth Commandment and all facets of a person’s life, which may be affected for better or for worse. Jesus’ words, “I came so that they might have life,” tell us of the gift of eternal life, which is now at work in all dimensions of our lives as individuals and in community.

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C. Jones

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The last six commandments begin: “You shall not ... ” Each names a grave evil that brings tragic and deadly consequences to others and ourselves. The basic “no’s” are an essential, but there’s much more. Remember, behind the “no” is an immense “yes!”

them home often, especially for big events and holy days. Yet, one never came home. They spoke of him only among themselves. There were rumors about the “prodigal son” who hadn’t been around for decades. Everyone felt sorrow for the parents. Some thought he would never return, and others prayed. What happened? There must have been a major falling out over someone or something with anger, resentment and perhaps hatred that hardened over the years. It was serious, like a virus that took hold and spread to all of them, bringing pain and sorYou shall not kill! Killing (murder) is the worst we can do to row and diminishing their lives. I sensed that he was still loved another. Once our “no” to God’s law has killed another, our and missed by his siblings, even if they harbored resentment and “yes” to that victim can only happen spiritually in prayer. To be bitterness for the way he broke his mother’s heart. free from killing is to be free for life. Taking a life is the When the elderly matriarch became terminally ill, everyone extreme evil identified by the Fifth Commandment, but there’s was called. From the estranged son – no reply. As his mother more to it. It’s also about the many ways of harming and approached death, he never showed up to be with her. The diminishing life – our own and others’. I recall the words of resentment of the family became more bitter. Sister Clarilla: “The Fifth Commandment protects life.” For the funeral Mass, the church filled with mourners. After In my priestly ministry, many experiences have shown me Mass, a very long procession of cars went to the cemetery. how “yes” or “no” to this commandment affects and alters all Since I was in the car behind the hearse, I arrived before everyaspects of life. I already knew that life was more than just a one else had gathered at the grave. As usual, I went to the physical reality, but I began to see the intimate link between grave to get my bearings. It was on a gentle slope near a stand the Fifth Commandment and all facets of a person’s life, which of large oaks. Suddenly, I noticed someone by an oak on the may be affected for better or for worse. Jesus’ words, “I came hill. When I turned toward him, he slipped behind the oak. I so that they might have life,” tell us of the gift of eternal life, was sure it was her son. I begged the Holy Spirit to help me which is now at work in all dimensions of our lives as individ- say the right thing. After we met, I said, “They love you and uals and in community. (John 10:10) they want you. Have courage.” Everyone was at the grave as By divine grace, priests serve life. The following “miracle we walked down the slope. With open arms and tears, his of life” happened at a funeral and is remembered by many family embraced him. who shared in it. The funeral of a beloved and respected There are many ways of diminishing, harming and matriarch is a blessed memory for me, her pastor, who destroying life. There are also many ways of increasing, proshared in the miracle. I remember it clearly, and not because tecting and saving life. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus it was one of the largest in my 47 years as a priest. She was does not abolish the commandments, but fulfills them. (Matt an amiable lady, wife, mother and matriarch of a large family. 5:17) He expands “killing” as the worst thing we can do to As a staunch Catholic and good citizen, she was respected include anger, hatred, violence and all that harms life. Jesus by all. No, she was not raised from the dead – but new life teaches the commandments as a divine blueprint for freewas found. dom to do good. They are a blessed gift, not a burden; a This is a story of life diminished and lost, but found again in privileged way to respond to God and others. Everyone benthis very large, close-knit family. I first met some of them when efits when we respect, defend and care for the spiritual and most of the sons daughters were adults with their own famiphysical lives of others and of ourselves. lies. Their mother, now matriarch, was a “magnet” who drew – Most Rev. Carl F. Mengeling is the fourth bishop of Lansing.

Read more of Bishop Mengeling’s writings on FAITHmag.com

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It’s the dawn of a new day, metaphorically speaking, for Eagle resident Dawn Smith. A parishioner of St. Mary Parish,Westphalia, and abortion victim, Dawn has found hope and healing from participating in Project Rachel, a ministry for those suffering from an abortion experience. Dawn explains that as a part of her personal recovery process, she feels called to share her experience. “Sharing my story is the next step I need to take to know that I am forgiven and loved. I have to share my story. God is calling me to. I can’t keep my light under a rock.” Receiving counseling through Project Rachel, having a supportive network of friends and knowing she is not alone are some of the reasons Dawn is able now to share her story. “I know there are other Catholic women out there. And I don’t think I’m the only Catholic homeschooling mom to be in this situation.”

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Fourteen years ago, when she was single and facing an unplanned pregnancy, Dawn made the decision to have an abortion. “I was engaged to be married when I met Ed. We both worked at prisons in Jackson, and that was a common bond. We would watch the Pistons and Arsenio Hall. He listened to me, and we had a good time together.” Still engaged to be married, Dawn found herself spending an increasing amount of time with Ed. “We ended up sleeping together, and I got pregnant. ... We weren’t serious as a couple. I didn’t know what to do.” Caught in a situation that demanded action, Dawn found herself frozen with indecision. “I had already called off the wedding once before. I did ask my mother, ‘What if we postponed the wedding a second time?’ She said ‘No way.’ I went to the doctor and he suggested an abortion.” Unable to think of alternative options, and afraid to disappoint her parents, Dawn decided to have the abortion. “I had always thought of myself as pro-life, but when it came down to it, I didn’t feel there was another option. I felt compelled to go through with it. Looking back, I know if I had gone to my mom and dad, Mom would have ranted and raved, but would have done what she needed to. I know now I could have done it. I could have had the baby.” Dawn decided to go through with the wedding and get married, but says, “It was doomed, right from the start.” Within two years, with a new baby daughter, Dawn separated from her first husband. Remembering Ed, she contacted him and they reunited. After the divorce was finalized, Dawn married Ed. Years later, Dawn’s journey of healing led her to seek an annulment of her previous marriage, and her marriage to Ed was witnessed in the Church. Dawn and Ed have now been married eleven years, and have seven kids together. Project Rachel came into Dawn’s life just as she was discerning the decision to become a midwife. “I’m a doula, a labor support person, and am studying to be a midwife. I got an e-mail about offering training for counselors for postabortive women, and was interested

because prior births or abortions can affect a current labor.” Dawn contacted Wilson Perkowski, the director of Project Rachel in Lansing. “I talked to Wilson, and told her about my experience. She suggested that I might be interested in participating myself. I’ve been meeting with Wilson for almost a year now. We met weekly at first but now we meet about once a month for a half an hour to 45 minutes. When we first started, it was much more guided. She’d give me an assignment, usually three questions to think about. We’d meditate on a Bible verse to become centered. I’d tell her the progress I had made, or would unload.” Motivated to help other women have positive birth experiences, Dawn also felt compelled to delve into her past. “It had been so many years since my abortion. I no longer would wake up in the middle of the night and deal with the guilt. That’s not how it was with me.” Even so, participating in Project Rachel proved to be a great gift toward healing. Dawn struggled with feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Through counseling, Dawn found that many of these emotions were triggered by her abortion experience. “Project Rachel was a great help. When people were emotionally abusive towards me, I thought, ‘Why not? I deserve to be pun-

Thank you for supporting Diocese of Lansing ministries through the DSA

ished.’ I felt insecure, unworthy. I’m stronger now, self-confident.” One of the liberating, life-affirming attributes of Project Rachel is the concept of rebirth. When women dwell on their abortions, the program compares it to the death of Lazarus, a death with the promise of resurrection on earth. Dawn describes never having healed from her abortion, but putting it aside, repressing it. “There was a recurring theme in our discussions – this concept of birth and rebirth. It was the creation of a new Dawn, a new me.” The “new life” Dawn has experienced applies to multiple levels of her life, both as a mother and as a professional. “Ed and I, we’ve always been open to life. We practice NFP, natural family planning. I’m much more vigilant about NFP now. My kids want us to have more children, but I feel I’m being called to study (to be a midwife).” Internalizing the knowledge of God’s love was a source of new life for Dawn. “I knew God loved me and that I was forgiven, but I hadn’t internalized His love. Now, I know. It’s there. And, by virtue of His love, we need to love ourselves. Could He love me even though I made such bad choices? Does He love us no matter what? Yes. No matter what, He’ll love us.” Dawn feels that the Catholic Church

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offers support though the most fundamental aspects of the faith – the sacraments. She describes the sacraments as “multi-sensory,” appealing to the body and spirit. “So many women think, ‘Where does this leave me, as a Catholic woman?’ They think, ‘The Catholic Church doesn’t condone this.’ But, really, it’s so supportive. There is healing. There is forgiveness. There are the sacraments. It is truly a ‘hands on’ approach to faith. In daily life, the sacraments nourish us, feed us.” Even in the years around her abortion experience, Dawn felt tied to her Catholic roots. Although she was lukewarm about practicing her faith, Dawn knew in her heart that she had made a poor decision and sought forgiveness through the sacrament of reconciliation. “I knew I had to go to confession. I knew what I had done was wrong. After my daughter was baptized, I started going to church again, but even then it was hit or miss.” It wasn’t until she began researching the option of homeschooling for her daughter that Dawn felt the Holy Spirit at work. “(My daughter) was almost four when I had a conversion experience. I realized I was responsible for her soul, and had better get serious. I was reading Homeward Bound, a book about homeschooling, and there was a chapter about parents being responsible for their children’s souls. At the time, it really struck

me. I’ve re-read that particular chapter since, and think now that there wasn’t anything particularly powerful about it. It was a good book, but it was obviously the Holy Spirit working.” The “new Dawn” was surprising both to Dawn and her husband. “I changed so dramatically. It was hard for Ed. The new me wasn’t who he married. I began going to daily Mass and saying the rosary. There was a dramatic shift (in our) marriage. “Ed’s not Catholic, (but) he is supportive and prays with us. I pray for Ed’s conversion. I see it happening, but it will happen in God’s time, not mine. Being married to a non-Catholic strengthens my faith. God sends us trials to make us stronger.” In spite of a strong, faithful marriage, Dawn describes the lasting effects of the abortion. “It has always been there, whether it’s verbalized or not. I apologized to Ed when I got to the point where I could see that the abortion had hurt him, too. I had never acknowledged his grief and his loss.” Dawn and Ed have decided to homeschool their children, so as to educate them with faith and morality in mind. In fact, homeschooling was something Dawn insisted upon prior to their marriage, inspired by her parents’ choice to homeschool her two younger brothers. “I

Project Rachel is an international ministry offering spiritual support for women and men suffering from an abortion experience. Named from a Scripture passage taken from Jeremiah 31:15-17, Project Rachel is an organization that supports those who mourn the loss of a child through abortion, and offers hope and healing for the future. Founded by Vicky Thorn, in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, the program is designed to provide support and spiritual guidance for those confronting emotions triggered by abortion. Project Rachel allows men and women to grieve the loss of a child in a safe, healing environment. In the Diocese of Lansing, healing retreats, support groups, counseling and mentoring are some of the many services available through Project Rachel. Participants may choose to talk to a priest or counselor, or meet with a support group. The healing process is enhanced through participation in the sacrament of reconciliation, memorial services and spiritual exercises. This program is open to men and women from all denominations and faiths. For information about the program or to find a group near you, log onto the Project Rachel Web site at abortionhealing.com or call Wilson Perkowski toll-free at (800) 968-0968. Volunteer opportunities are available. Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall quickly be healed. (Isaiah 58:8)

told Ed he had to agree before I married him,” Dawn says. “I want the kids to be Catholic. I don’t want their peers to dictate their morality.” Through Project Rachel, Dawn has found the strength to use her experience to educate her children about the importance of respecting the body and remaining chaste. “My oldest children know (about my abortion). They were surprised. We always pray to stop abortion. In a way, knowing I had an abortion helps them. They know they should stay pure and chaste, and save themselves for marriage. They know because I lived it. It’s been a source of grace and growth (in my relationship) with my kids.” Dawn wonders if the abortion has influenced her desire to help other women have good birthing experiences. “I’ve thought about being a midwife for a long time, for about five years. My son Ned’s birth was healing in so many ways, because it was a home birth. It was the greatest thing in the world, giving birth at home. Having a baby is a magic time – so powerful. Most women go into labor in the night. I’d envision Mary in the stable, with the stars overhead. I’d see the same stars, walking from the parking lot into the hospital. When a mother goes to the hospital, you go away and come back with a baby. At home, it’s seamless. There is no ‘blip’ in time. I want to give that to other women.” Thankful for the opportunity to bring new life into the world, Dawn is especially thankful for the gift of her newest client. “I have two clients. One is 18, and unmarried. She’s giving her baby up for adoption. God sent me that one.” This spring the Smith family will celebrate their unborn daughter with a naming ceremony. “I think of her as Jessica; Ed picked out the name. She would have been 14. Sometimes I’ll hear the kids say to each other, ‘We have another sister or a brother.’ I tell them, ‘We’ve never met her, but we’ll see her in heaven.’” June 2004

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St. Louis Center: an extraordinary place for extraordinary people

The St. Louis Center (SLC), located five miles west of Chelsea, looks from the outside to be a typical institution for the mentally impaired. For those associated with it, however, it is much more. Lisa Roberts, 41, a resident since April 2002, calls St. Louis Center “a very good place to live and have fun.” She is one of 60 residents who are there to learn to live more independently. Many will eventually return to their families or to the community. The center director, Fr. Joe Rinaldo, SC, states that their goal is to “witness the love of the Church to the poor. ... We try to build up a family around them and give them a hope for the future.” Part of the preparation toward independent living is cooking, doing laundry and instruction about personal hygiene. The residents also learn how to interact with the community at large through field trips like going to movies, Detroit Tiger games, U of M football practice or bowling on Friday nights. “My bowling average is 70, 80, 90, sometimes 100,” Lisa says. “I’m really good.” Former assistant administrator, Fr. Matt Weber, was recently assigned to the Philippines by his order, the Servants of Charity, which runs SLC and similar centers in 27 countries throughout By Bob Horning | Photography by Christine Jones

the world. Fr. Weber says that “society tends to look upon those with a handicap as not being able to contribute. Instead, we should be asking, ‘What can they contribute?’” Lisa, for example, is in the group of educable mentally impaired, and works at Taco Bell in Chelsea 15-20 hours per week. She is in charge of the lobby, sweeping and cleaning tables, and often greets customers as they enter. At the center, residents can also learn useful skills during classes such as arts and crafts. A staff worker taught Lisa how to crochet, and she became proficient enough to make a scarf for her father. “Crocheting is something that I would have never thought of doing with Lisa,” says her stepmother, Judith Greenbaum. “I am impressed with the staff.” Judith’s daughter Susie is also at the SLC and requires constant supervision. Susie, and others who are in the severe or trainable mentally impaired groups, will never reach Lisa’s functioning ability, and may be life-long residents at St. Louis Center. Judith considers it a plus that Lisa and Susie are immersed in a religious, spiritual atmosphere, even if it differs from her Jewish background. Lisa attends Mass on Sunday and Tuesday with the other residents, and has religion class once a week. When Lisa is asked what she has learned about Jesus, and what she thinks of Him, she says without hesitation, “He died on the cross to take away my sins. He loves me.” Saint Louis Center is located on 180 acres of land, which includes a pond and woods. Priests, a staff of 55, volunteers and parents care for the residents. “Our approach is to look upon them not as handicapped, but as persons with a handicap,” Fr. Weber says. “They have special gifts as well as special needs. They have likes, dislikes, personalities, just like us.” The result of this approach is changed lives. Steve Daut, who for the past four years has been the development director and in charge of public relations at SLC, tells of a 16year-old boy found abandoned and fending for himself in Detroit. After two and a half years at SLC, because he was treated as an individual, his ability to trust grew, and he was More information is available at stlouiscenter.org.

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While the residents receive the help they need at St. Louis Center, so do the parents, many of whom have nowhere else to turn. Fr. Weber terms it “being a partner with the family. We try to support the caregiver when life is fragile.”

able to leave and live on his own. “Another was a 15-year-old who came to us recently,” Daut says. “When we noticed that he didn’t have a coat, we gave him one. He broke down crying. It turns out that nobody had ever given him anything before.” In one sense, Daut could say that his life has also changed since coming to the St. Louis Center. Having developed a successful business, he was at a point in life where he wanted to give back to the community, to do work that was vital and important. On those days when he questions himself on his decision to leave his business, he says he just gets up from his desk and goes to be with the ‘kids.’ “I feel fortunate to have found this place,” he says. “To see those kids who have had a lifetime of troubles, abuse and neglect now become happy and part of a family, can’t help but affect you. They have a simplicity and purity rarely seen – their special gift to the world that Fr. Matt speaks of. Every time you see these kids, you see the face of God.” While the residents receive the help they need at St. Louis Center, so do their parents, many of whom have nowhere else to turn. Fr. Weber terms it “being a partner with the family. We try to support the caregiver when life is fragile.” John and Jan Chattaway of Livonia are a case in point. They have three children. One, Jordan, developed Lowe Syndrome, a rare but severe behavioral problem. Violent outbreaks resulted in 20 pairs of broken glasses over the years, among other things. “Sending our son to St. Louis Center was a heart-breaking decision,” the Chattaways say, “but we weren’t surviving with him at home. He was destroying our house physically, and our life. We were hopeless. Different programs and medications we tried weren’t helping. Now, with Jordan at the center, it allows us to be parents to our other two sons as well. The structure at the center has helped Jordan to do more for himself, and they can take him out safely into the community more than we were able to. As a result of his progress, he can accompany us to a movie now, and he pretty much sits through it.” Notably, he has only broken one pair of glasses since being at SLC, and that by accident. Though the Chattaways and other parents send their children to St. Louis Center, continual parental involvement is part of the program, Daut says. “The kids go home every other weekend and during holidays and vacations. The parents also do volunteer work here, as do many outside groups.” Daut is familiar with the number of tragedies in society, and his wish is that they were able to accommodate them all by bringing the kids to SLC. Or, that at the center itself, he could snap his fingers and say about different situations, “problem solved.” “That’s the toughest part of the job,” he says. “But the good part is being able to give the kids here a rich experience they wouldn’t get elsewhere. Like Stanley, who was an angry young man when he came. We stuck with him, and now he is upbeat, positive, a delight.”

job loss? spiritual guidance for career transition

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ost would agree that the 30- or 40-year career with the same company has pretty much gone the way of the dodo bird. Like it or not, we need to be prepared to deal with a constantly changing economic landscape. For many, it’s necessary to think about what we’d do if our company had to downsize or move operations overseas. At the same time, we also need to be discerning what God is calling us to do. Recently, I confronted both of these issues. Over the past few years, I experienced a growing discontent with my job, and have been actively seeking what God wants me to do. I decided to leave the company I worked for and seek other employment. Although the situation causes stress, I feel at peace. I had prepared myself both professionally and spiritually. As long as I allow God to guide me, I know in my heart that everything is going to work out OK. I would like to offer you some of the guidance that I received throughout my spiritual exploration and career transition: 1 Take money out of the equation. When deciding on a career path, forget about money initially. If you first trust God’s purpose for you, you will receive what you need when you need it. 2 Let go of your ego. The principal enemy of your self-image is the measurement of your value primarily according to secular standards. 3 God has a mission for you. This is your opportunity to truly figure out what that mission is. 4 Be a good role model. Your show of faith and courage in dealing with your career situation may be the best example you will ever set for your children or for others. 5 Don’t dwell on your own problems. Connect with others in the same boat. It’s very rewarding to help others along their journey as well.

According to the Catechism, “Human work proceeds directly from persons created in the image of God and called to prolong the work of creation … ” (2427) It goes on to state, “In work, the person exercises and fulfills in part the potential inscribed in his nature.” (2428) In other words, the need to help create God’s kingdom is built right into you. The only way you will be at peace is to honor that call. Furthermore, according to the Gospel , if you seek first God’s kingdom – which involves seeking to fulfill your calling through your work – then God will take care of your material needs. (Luke 12:29-31) Thus, you no longer need to worry about job security as defined by this world. Your security will come through God. – Tim Ryan is an information technology professional in Fowlerville and has earned a master’s degree in pastoral studies from Loyola University New Orleans. He is a member of St. Joseph Parish, Gaines. June 2004

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the anteroom of heaven – Mother Teresa House

Two women from Mother Teresa House arrived at Agnes’ home to find she had fallen. She had tried to get up by herself to get her medicine, but her legs would no longer hold her up. She was badly bruised from the fall, but still painfully conscious. She spent most of the night lying there on the cold floor, unable to move. Even with her cancer advancing, confining her to bed for 20 hours of the day, Agnes was alone. She had no family. Her neighborhood had become a rough part of the city, and the neighbors she had known for years had either moved or died. For some time, Agnes had stayed awake at night because she was afraid of dying. She lived with the fear of being found dead in the morning by her great niece. Agnes’ present sufferings had followed a troubled life of many personal losses. She had lost seven children in miscarriages and her only surviving son died at age 14. Her husband had quit coming home on time at night and eventually left her. She had to fend for herself all her life, and now ... The volunteer workers gathered Agnes’ belongings and brought her to Mother Teresa House, on North Walnut Street in downtown Lansing. They placed her photos, her antique clock and her slippers in her room, and began to surround her By Fr. Charles Irvin | Photography by Tom Gennara

Everyone who comes to sta not all need healing. Some co and sacrificing to the end, wh residents, who have lived with ha them love.

with kindness. Agnes mentioned that she craved something tart, so the volunteers made some lime Jell-O for her. When they brought it to her, Agnes broke down and cried, saying, “You shouldn’t listen to me.” Those were, of course, code words that really meant, “Please listen to me.” Agnes desperately needed to talk to someone, and the people at Mother Teresa House were there to listen. The very first night at Mother Teresa House, Agnes slept peacefully for the first time in months. Other changes followed. She was provided excellent physical care. There was someone there to get her a drink, help her wash up and answer the phone, so Agnes no longer had to worry about these things. Her medications began to work, and her pain diminished. Something profound was changing in her soul. God’s grace began to work in lime Jell-O! The caregivers were hovering over her, and Our Lady of Sorrows was at work, bringing her Son to this forlorn child of God, this woman in need of healing and rest within. Before she died, Agnes had become a more peaceful person. She had finally arrived at the point where she could allow others to love her here in this “anteroom of heaven.” It seemed that her spirit was healed. Having experienced love, Agnes could then let herself go into the hands of the One who is Love. Agnes’ great niece, her only living relative, also experienced relief, knowing her aunt was being cared for. Because her aunt’s immediate needs were attended, she was able to visit peacefully, and she came to understand and reconcile some of her family history. Simply being in the room was a great comfort to Agnes, who at times would call out to see if anyone was there. The volunteer caregivers at Mother Teresa House would spend hours at Agnes’ bedside, conversing softly or silently praying. On some occasions when Agnes was awake, they prayed the Lord’s Prayer aloud for her, and she would join in praying the words. People facing terminal illness have often told Karen Bussey, director of Mother Teresa House, that they wanted to take their own lives. Again and again, Karen witnesses that this train of

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to stay at Mother Teresa House needs care, but The Miracle of me come with open hearts, and can continue loving Mother Teresa House d, while preparing to meet God with serenity. Other My husband Rhett Johnston was diagnosed with with hardened hearts, can now allow others to give

thought evaporates when their basic needs are addressed – when they get pain medicine on time, when they see that their tired family member has someone there to help, when they don’t have to worry about paying for care they can’t afford. It is the little actions done by “little” people that lift the “burden” of dying. Getting Agnes a drink of water, sitting with her, remembering her medicine and helping her sit up – these are things that most anyone could do. It matters very much to simply “be there” for one another and to do the little things. At Mother Teresa House, the residents appreciate simple comforts such as the smell of cookies or a pot of soup and the time taken for stories and songs. They value the visits from grandchildren and friends, and for those with no family, the caring companionship of the men and women who serve there. Rosaries recited, a hand’s gentle touch, the balance of company and solitude – all of these help in heaven’s anteroom. Everyone who comes to stay at Mother Teresa House needs care, but not all need healing. Some come with open hearts, and can continue loving and sacrificing to the end, while preparing to meet God with serenity. Other residents, who have lived with hardened hearts, can now allow others to give them love. The residents are not the only ones who are transformed at Mother Teresa House. The volunteers often remark that they are personally changed by being with the dying. We all need to grow, and the dying teach us many things about living. Mother Teresa House is a home for the dying, founded by Karen Bussey in September 1997, at the time of Mother Teresa’s death. In reverence for life and for the end of life, the caregivers of Mother Teresa House surround a terminally ill person with loving, personal care around the clock. It is a home for hospice patients, caring for 25 patients in 2003 alone. People of any social, religious or financial background are gladly welcomed, with priority given to those in the greatest need. The men and women who serve there give Christ’s love to the dying in the same manner as did Mother Teresa of Calcutta. The care is provided at no charge. Mother Teresa House receives no governmental or insur-

brain cancer in October 2002. He died in October 2003. I am not sure how I managed to survive that year. There is no way to describe watching your partner, best friend and husband die – his mind and body deteriorating each month; praying for a miracle while trying to be strong and brave for your loved one. By September, Rhett was in hospice care at home, and on Oct. 15, 2003, he entered Mother Teresa House. I heard about Mother Teresa House from a relative and through the Sparrow Home Hospice Care. I met its director and within a few days was told there was an opening. The night before Rhett went to Mother Teresa House was the worst night of my life. I knew my husband was leaving our family home and never coming back. I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing. I was upset that the miracle we prayed for had not happened. I accompanied Rhett on the morning of Oct. 15 to Mother Teresa House. It’s hard to put into words the feelings that overwhelmed me as I walked through the house to Rhett’s room. There was such a feeling of peace – a weight being lifted from my shoulders – like exhaling after holding your breath. I truly felt the hand of God, or maybe it was Mother Teresa. I wasn’t alone, and Rhett would have a peaceful death. During the next 12 days, our children and I were able to just be with Rhett, hold his hand, talk to him, love him. The incredible volunteers at Mother Teresa House were always there to see to his needs. He was kept so clean, comfortable and at peace. If I needed to talk, a shoulder to cry on, someone to pray with – there was a volunteer ready to help. I didn’t get the miracle I had prayed for, but God gave me Mother Teresa House. I truly believe it was God’s gift to me and Rhett at the end of his wonderfully full and Christian life. Mother Teresa House was the miracle at the end of Rhett’s life. I shall be forever grateful for and enriched by my experiences there. – Bernice Johnston

ance funds, depending solely upon generous donations from individuals, churches, service groups and businesses. Although it is not funded or operated by the Diocese of Lansing, the diocese was instrumental in making Mother Teresa House possible. Regular donations on a quarterly or monthly basis especially help to sustain their work. If you would like to be a supporting Friend of Mother Teresa House, contact Mother Teresa House, P.O. Box 13004, Lansing, MI 48901. Those interested in learning more about the volunteer opportunities at Mother Teresa House should call Erma Stafford, coordinator of service at (517) 484-5494 or e-mail motherteresahouse@juno.com. June 2004

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your marriage matters an ongoing series to help you strengthen your marriage

Online Resource YourMarriageMatters.com The Diocese of Lansing Family Ministry Office provides marriage & family

what is your Ouch! factor? m o n e y

t i p

Whether you have discussed it as a couple or not, every marriage has an Ouch! factor. This is the amount of money either spouse is allowed to spend individually without discussion or prior agreement. Anything more causes Ouch! in the marriage. The Ouch! amount is different for every couple, but knowing yours is a pretty good idea. What will cause a serious “discussion” in your house, or better yet, what are you willing to come home and say? “Hi, honey, I just bought this beautiful new: lawn flamingo, shirt and tie, bowling ball, set of golf clubs, flat-screen TV, motorcycle, time share, cottage on the lake, ... ” You get the idea. The hidden issues here include trust, independence, freedom as an individual, and obligation to each other and your family. Again, let your previous discussions on family goals, budgets and spiritual perspectives keep you from entering the Ouch! zone. – John Morris is a diocesan FOCCUS couple trainer.

make it a date t i m e

m a t t e r s :

c o n n e c t i n g p a r t

Schedule a date. Remember how special dating was? Recall the time you spent preparing, worrying about the smallest details, selecting just the right clothes and finding the right place to go. Show your spouse that you still care enough that you desire to go on a special date – just the two of you – alone with each other. Make specific plans or reservations, and get it on the calendar! You’ll be glad you did. – Tom and JoAnn Fogle are members of the diocesan Family Ministry Committee.

Time tip: If you don’t already have a calendar, find one that works for you. Rather than putting things off indefinitely, use your personal planner to set goals for yourself. Give yourself concrete deadlines, and plan accordingly to meet them.

learning good communication: the speaker-listener technique Real communication happens when: • There is a speaker and a listener • You switch roles often • You do this with a liberal amount of respect for your partner Try the following method when your normal way of handling conflict isn’t working. The speaker holds a small object, such as a pen, that designates he has the “floor” – meaning it’s his turn to speak. Speak for yourself. Talk about your thoughts and feelings. Use “I” statements. “I think you’re a jerk” is not an “I” statement. “I was upset when you forgot our date” is. Use short statements to make your point. You don’t have to go on and on since you have the floor, and your partner can’t interrupt. Stop after a bit so the listener can paraphrase what you said. The listener’s only job is to listen and paraphrase what they have heard. It is not time to make or formulate a rebuttal! After the speaker has had the floor for awhile, he passes the object to the listener. The speaker then becomes the listener and listener becomes the speaker. – Tony Sperendi is a group speaker for couples in marriage preparation.

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marriage resources:

how to teach your kids to respect life

family resources. Call (517) 342-2471 or (517) 342-2458 for more

romance in action: stop, look and listen r o m a n c e

i n t i m a c y

Remember when you were dating and getting to know your spouse? There was plenty of talking and plenty of intent listening with no interruptions. “Wow, he/she is really listening to me! I matter to this person, and what I have to say is important.” We have to be careful not to let that slip away after we’re married. If you aren’t listening to your spouse, maybe someone else is – like a parent, friend or co-worker. Think about what you might be missing. Speaking for myself, as a parent with kids who have busy schedules, I sometimes see myself as the traffic controller. “Don’t forget to do this … Remember to take that … Please be on time … Where are you going to be? What is your sports schedule this week? Is there a permission slip to sign in your book bag?” I have to remember to back out of that mode and take a breath. It is important to take the time and have one-onone conversations with your spouse. Stop whatever else you are doing. Look into each other’s eyes. Listen with all your heart as well as your head. It affirms the other and shows that he/she is still that very important person you love and want to know more about. – Diane and Rick Peiffer are consultants to the diocesan Family Ministry Committee.

p r a y e r

m o m e n t

listening and hearing

t h e

C. Jones

A retreat for married couples will be held at St. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt, Aug. 6-8. Call toll-free (866) 6698321 for more information. Lansing area Worldwide Marriage Encounter is holding a Marriage Encounter weekend July 23-25, at Bethany House, DeWitt. Call toll-free (877) 743-3615.

cmcgreal@faithmag.com

j o u r n e y

hildren do get exposed to violence. How many murders do you think children will observe on television by the time they complete elementary school? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children who are daily viewers of four hours of TV (non-educational programming) will see about 8,000 murders! Video games become more realistic every year. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City’s “improvements” included new weapons, such as machetes and chainsaws, as well as a better way to target your victim in a crowd. Rockstar Games produces a game called Manhunt in which the player is the prey. These games are labeled “M” for “mature” content, but many teens under the age of 17 are familiar with the games. Even when media violence is monitored, children watch others get into fights, hear racial slurs and are exposed to other messages of hate. In order to turn the tide against violence, Scripture invites us to be counter-cultural, living in a way that models to our children the sacredness of human life. Each person is made in God’s image and must be treated with dignity and respect, as a unique child of God. (cf. Gen 9:6)

How can we instill a respect for life in our children? How can we turn the tide in the hectic world we live in and teach our children not to hate? Make sure that your own words and behaviors convey respect for others. If your children hear slang terms from others that aren’t appropriate, explain why the language is not used in your household. Challenge stereotypes and prejudice. Help your children understand the Gospel teachings of justice. Monitor your child’s exposure to the media. Watch television with your children and discuss the ways that conflicts are resolved. Let them know that people can settle differences through discussions, rather than by using weapons. The television show probably won’t include the “end of the story” in terms of the consequences. Talk to your child about possible scenarios that could result from murder, even by the “good guy.” Encourage your children to see how precious life is throughout the lifespan. Read books that show pictures of the unborn baby changing from month to month. Ask elderly relatives to share photographs of their early years in order to hear new stories and build a deeper relationship.

Him: The mighty waterfalls roar. Lord, you are there, but you are silent. Her: The molten earthquakes rumble. Lord, you are there, but you are silent. Him: The hurtling hurricanes scream. Lord, you are there, but you are silent. Her: The thundering avalanche pounds. Lord, you are there, but you are silent. Him: The storm cloud thunders. Lord, you are there, but you are silent. Her: Then you speak – a still, small voice. Him: You create all things. You create silence, too. Her: Help us find it. Help us listen with our hearts. Together: When we hear your Word, O Lord, may we keep it and live it. Amen.

– Dr. Cathleen McGreal is a professor of psychology at Michigan State University and a

– Pat Nischan, consultant to the diocesan Family Ministry Committee

certified spiritual director.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church notes that there are those who draw others into spiritual death as well as physical death. (2284) In their review of Manhunt, Rockstar Games writes, “The ultimate rush is the power to grant life and take it away, for sport.” What a sad life it would be if this were true. Instead, the One who has the power to grant life chose to walk among us. The “ultimate rush” was written upon our hearts while we were being formed – the desire to be in communion with our loving God. (CCC 27)

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C. Jones

Ridding our hearts of revenge s p i r i t u a l

For our spiritual fitness this month, we will work on ridding our hearts of revenge and forgiving those who have hurt us. 1 Pray for the desire to forgive. When we have been hurt, forgiving the person who hurt us may be the last thing on our minds. The pain can be so great. Rage or anger can be seething through us. We want justice. We want vindication. We want revenge. But this is not the path to peace. It is not the way of Jesus Christ. The first grace we ask God for is the desire to forgive the other person. Even one step before this is to pray for a desire to desire to forgive! Read Luke 6:32-36, Mark 11:25 and Matthew 5:23-24. Pray: Dear Father, you forgive us as we forgive others. Help me, dear God, please help me! My pain is great. Help me to desire to forgive (Name) for the pain they have caused me. I know without your grace I cannot

f i t n e s s

One of my favorite images of Jesus is one where our risen Lord, with wounds visible, is pointing to His Sacred Heart. The heart is covered with thorns that pierce it, yet a fire of love is burning inside the heart. The thorns symbolize our sins that deeply wound Jesus. The fire is a reminder that His love is greater than our sins. I think most of us can relate to being wounded in some way by another person. Every day, our news is filled with stories of crime and human tragedy. Every day, people experience abuse, deception, broken promises, indifference, rape, theft, murder and other injustices. Deep wounds. We did not ask for them, but they are there. What do we do with them? We have a couple of choices. If we let the hurt of the wound fester, the infection of bitterness, resentment, hatred and unforgiveness can take over our lives. We will become toxic people. While being the victim of another person’s sin and crime, we end up inflicting

the hurt on someone else. There is another way – the way of Jesus Christ. Not long ago, a woman named Marietta Jaeger Lane came to our parish and shared with us her journey to forgive the man who murdered her 7-yearold little girl. Marietta, her husband and their five children were camping in Montana in 1973. Sometime in the middle of the night, a man slashed through the tent where the young girls were sleeping and abducted the youngest girl, Susie. The family awoke with horror to find Susie gone. A frantic search ensued to no avail. When they began searching the river for Susie’s body, Marietta “lost it.” She remembers, “I wanted to kill him with my bare hands!” That anger would have consumed Marietta, but she turned to Jesus. He knew her wounds. Marietta says, “I knew that hatred wasn’t healthy – that it would obsess and consume me. Were I to give in to that kind of mindset, it would be my undoing. It’s not to say that it was an

forgive them. Jesus, you suffered so much because you had the courage to love. You opened your hands in love and friendship, knowing that we would put nails through them. You forgave us and reconciled us to the Father. Jesus, help me recognize your pain, and to see in my pain a share in your suffering. Help me, Lord, to know your desire to forgive us our sins. Help me to know your love for me is the same as your love for (Name). You loved us both to die for us. Lord, I ask for a desire to forgive (Name) who has hurt me. Dear God, forgive me as I do my best to forgive (Name). Keep praying this prayer each day – even a few times a day as needed – until you receive the grace you are asking for. 2 Receiving the desire to forgive is a huge grace. Thank God for it and pray: Dear God, I praise you for your mercy and the desire I have received to forgive (Name). Please Father, forgive me my sins and faults. My pain is still great.

Jesus, I still spend most of my time focusing on the hurt (Name) has caused me. I rarely look at how I have hurt others. Please Lord, help me to look at my own wrongdoing and repent. Then as I receive your mercy, I will be able to give your mercy to (Name). Read Matthew 7:1-5. 3 Pray for the other person. Ask God to bless them. Dear God, you love (Name) as you love me. You want (Name)’s salvation as you want mine. You want (Name)’s happiness as you want mine. You know I do not feel much love for (Name) right now, but I do want (Name) to be happy and at peace. I want them to be filled with love. I want them to be at peace with you forever. Please Lord, bless (Name) and help them in any way they need help right now in their lives. Help them to seek you and find you. I forgive (Name) for what they have done to me. Pardon them Lord as you have pardoned my sins. 4 In prayer, imagine the following:

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If we let the hurt of the wound fester, the infection of bitterness, resentment, hatred and unforgiveness can take over our lives. We will become toxic people. While being the victim of another person’s sin and crime, we end up inflicting the hurt on someone else. There is another way – the way of Jesus Christ.

Marietta then met the man who abducted and murdered Susie. She looked into his eyes and forgave him. Later that same day, the man committed suicide. At that point, Marietta began to reach out to the murderer’s mother. In the years since, each has accompanied the other to her child’s grave. “Together, we were able to grieve as mothers who had lost their children,” says Marietta. “I hoped that it would help her to know that I had forgiven him.” Marietta continues to carry her wounds, but now they are united and transformed by the grace of Jesus Christ. Deeply wounded, Jesus still forgives. The feasts of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary – celebrated June 18 and 19 respectively – remind us of the great suffering inflicted on Jesus and Mary through sin and hatred, but even more so the mercy, forgiveness and love their hearts offer each person. They offer that mercy to and through you and me!

You have fallen and are lying in the mud. You are embarrassed and hurt. Suddenly, you feel yourself being pulled up. You look up and you see Jesus. He brushes you off and gives you a new cloak. You see the care and compassion in His eyes. In the distance, you see another person lying in the mud, struggling to get up. It is the person who has hurt you. You see Jesus run to them and also help them up. As Jesus brushes them off, you come close. You look into Jesus’ eyes and see His compassion for this person. You tell the Lord, “Jesus, I have asked you to help me forgive (Name). Please help me now.” You turn to (Name) and say, “(Name), I forgive you. I release the anger and hurt I am feeling toward you. It is off of me like this mud that Jesus has wiped away. I am no longer angry with you and want God’s peace to be with you as it has come now to me.” 5 Meeting with the person who has hurt you. In some cases, meeting with

the person who has hurt us can bring reconciliation and healing of the relationship. In other cases, it may only help to free us personally. It depends on the response of the person who has hurt us. 6 Practice receiving forgiveness and giving forgiveness. We receive forgiveness by admitting our faults and saying we are sorry. The sacrament of reconciliation is a huge grace for us. Take advantage of it. Also, we can practice forgiving others every time we pray the Our Father. When you come to the part “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us,” pause and try to forgive anyone who has sinned against you. Cultivate a forgiving heart by not bringing up past hurtful situations that you have let go. By recalling them and thinking of them again, you may be allowing revenge and bitterness to enter your heart. If this happens, repeat the above steps again and be patient. Forgiveness is a grace that can take time.

– Fr. Bill Ashbaugh is pastor of St. Joseph Parish, Howell

How do veterans come to peace with what they did in the name of war? A priest friend of mine was once called to the bedside of a man who was very ill. The man was not concerned about his physical health, but was deeply troubled about an experience he had during World War II. He was a soldier who killed an enemy soldier in hand-to-hand combat. The horror of the event would not leave his memory. He loved his country and wanted to do what he could to help, but he never dreamed he would be fighting the enemy so close. Would God forgive him? The answer is yes. God forgives us. Jesus suffered and died on the cross to reveal the mercy of God toward the whole world. Many of our veterans were put into hell-like situations. “War is hell,” my uncle who operated a tank during WWII would tell me. Veterans can suffer from deep scars and the guilt of choices that compromised their sacred values. They may feel God would not want them, for their hands are full of bloodshed and violence. That is not true. God wants all of us. He is greater than our darkness. All of us must lean totally on the mercy of God for our salvation. We must not let anger or despair overwhelm our hearts. For veterans and for all who have been involved in violence and want peace: 1 Go to the sacrament of reconciliation and talk about what happened. Release the poison and darkness through the sacrament and let God bring healing. 2 Meditate on the immense mercy of God by considering the life of Moses, King David, or St. Paul. All three were involved in killing another person. All three became saintly. 3 Read Psalm 51. 4 Pray for the victims of war and the end of violence and war. CNS/Brown & Bigelow

easy realization, because I felt absolutely justified. I had every right to feel how I did.” But she knew it was not the way. As a Catholic, Marietta says, “I was called to forgive my enemies – not to kill them. So I made the commitment to work toward an attitude of forgiveness. I promised to cooperate with God in whatever he needed to do to help move my heart from fury to forgiveness … I’ve come to understand that God's idea for us is not vengeance but restoration,” she says. “Jesus came to forgive, to heal.” One year after the abduction, the man called and spoke with Marietta for a long time. He broke down. He had so much pain inside. Eventually, the man was caught. Marietta did everything she could to fight against the death sentence for the man. She tried to speak of the man with respect, and remembered the truth that Jesus came to seek and save all people, especially the lost. He confessed to the brutal murder of her daughter, and to other murders as well.

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Fill the drawers with items a pregnant woman without means might need

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c u l t u r e

In Nancy Kujawa’s opinion, a pregnant woman without means shouldn’t have to go without. That’s why her organization, Pregnancy Services of Greater Lansing (PSGL), spearheads a special program with area churches that reaches out to expectant mothers in need. “We call it a ‘dresser ministry,’” she explains. “The idea behind it is to find a new dresser – or fix up an old one – and fill it with items that a new baby needs.” Clothing tops the list (see box for suggestions), but you can also fill the drawers with things like blankets, diapers, pacifiers and the like. “We’ve worked with several Catholic churches in the Lansing area,” she notes, “including St. Martha’s (Okemos), St. Thomas Aquinas (East Lansing) and St. Mary’s (Williamston). And each one works the program differently. One church might list the required items on individual pieces of paper for people to pick up, much like a Christmas giving tree is run. Another might bring a dresser into church, and encourage people to fill the drawers as they are able. “Some parishes also include high-ticket items that have been gently used – like car seats, strollers and cribs. We

Inspiration from Blessed Mother Teresa: Defender of the Unborn Mother Teresa (1910-1997) was a staunch defender of the rights of the unborn, who opened her heart and her homes to the unwanted children of Calcutta. In her efforts to inspire compassion for the littlest among us, she spoke these words: Love is a fruit in season at all times, and in reach of every hand. Intense loves does not measure; it just gives. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love. Every act of love is a work of peace, no matter how small. Good works are links that form a chain of love. We have been created to love and be loved.

can always pass these on.” After a successful dresser campaign is finished, the full dresser and related items are then brought to PSGL’s offices at 1045 E. Grand River in East Lansing, where the staff makes sure they are distributed to young mothers-to-be who really need them. If you know of an expectant mom who could benefit from this program, have them call PSGL at (517) 332-0633 or visit their Web site at www.pregnancylansing.com. If the mother-to-be is outside the service area of this organization, Kujawa suggests you develop a dresser ministry of your own, or encourage your parish to start one. First, you need to get a dresser. New is good, but a used one will work well, too. If you opt for used, make sure the drawers open and close smoothly and that the pulls and feet are firmly attached. If there’s any damage to the surface of the dresser, think about refinishing it or applying a coat of paint. If you don’t know the gender of the baby, neutral colors like white, green, peach, purple and yellow are best. Want to get a little more creative? You can also experiment with decorative painting techniques like sponging, or try stenciling on a design. Check your local craft store for baby-oriented motifs. Top off the decorated dresser with a small lamp and a basketful of plush toys or a starter library of read-aloud books. A children’s picture Bible would make another nice touch.

Fill the drawers with love Nancy Kujawa, director of Pregnancy Services of Greater Lansing, recommends you gather the following items to fill a dresser for an expectant mother in need: Onesies Sleepers Blanket sleepers Receiving blankets Crib blankets and sheets Outfits for newborns, 3-6 months Socks and shoes Pacifiers Baby wipes, baby shampoo, baby powder Diapers Diaper bag Baby food and cereal Formula Plastic baby bottles Parenting books and videos Bibles

In addition to the dresser, you might also want to solicit gently used high-ticket items, such as: Car seats Cribs Playpens Bassinets High chairs Walkers Strollers June 2004

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c o m m u n i t y

things to do Christian concerts will be held as part of Swartz Creek Hometown Days. The concerts will be held at the Pajtas Fine Arts Theater on Saturday, June 5, at 6 p.m., and on Sunday, June 6, at 2:30 p.m. The cost for each is $10 in advance or $15 on the day of the concert. For more information, call (810) 238-7468. Genesee County Catholic Singles (GCCS) is a social and spiritual support group that plans outings and activities for singles of all ages. On Sunday, June 6, their general meeting will include a potluck and barbecue at Riverview Park, Flushing, from 1 to 7 p.m. For more information, log onto gccathsgl.org or contact Christina at (810) 659-4148.

Catholic adults and teens are invited to the Lansing Center June 18-19 for the “It’s Great to be Catholic!” Conference, sponsored by the Michigan Catholic Home-Educators. On Friday evening, from 7 to 9 p.m., enthusiastic author and convert Steve Ray will speak about St. Peter and the papacy. Saturday speakers include Laura Berquist, Steve Kellmeyer, Capt. Guy Gruters, Colleen Hammond and Fr. Tim McDonald. A Catholic book fair will be open on Friday evening and on Saturday, from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Pre-registration includes Saturday lunch and free parking. For more information or to obtain a registration form, call (313) 5656129 or visit homeschoolcatholic.org. june readings

Sunday, June 6 The Most Holy Trinity Prov 8:22-31 Ps 8:4-9 Rom 5:1-5 John 16:12-15 Sunday, June 13 The Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ Gen 14:18-20 Ps 110:1-4 1 Cor 11:23-26 Luke 9:11b-17 Friday, June 18 The Most Sacred Heart of Jesus Ezek 34:11-16 Ps 23:1-6 Rom 5:5b-11 Luke 15:3-7 Sunday, June 20 Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time Zech 12:10-11;13:1 Ps 63:2-6,8-9 Gal 3:26-29 Luke 9:18-24

Thursday, June 24 The Nativity of John the Baptist Vigil Jer 1:4-10 Ps 71:1-4a,5-6b,15ab,17 1 Pet 1:8-12 Luke 1:5-17 Mass During the Day Isa 49:1-6 Ps 139:1-3,13-15 Acts 13:22-26 Luke 1:57-66,80 Sunday, June 27 Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time 1 Kgs 19:16b,19-21 Ps 16:1-2,5 Gal 5:1,13-18 Luke 9:51-62 Tuesday, June 29 Peter and Paul, Apostles Vigil Acts 3:1-10 Ps 19:2-5 Gal 1:11-20 John 21:15-19 Mass During the Day Acts 12:1-11 Ps 34:2-9 2 Tim 4:6-8,17-18 Matt 16:13-19

A Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend will be held at St. Joseph Center, Jackson, June 26-27. To register or find out more, log onto lansingcee.org, or call Wayne and Sue Fransted at (517) 522 5121. The 50th anniversary celebration of Ss. Charles and Helena Parish, Clio, will include an anniversary Mass celebrated by Bishop Mengeling on Saturday, June 26, at 5 p.m. The weekend will also feature several activities including a 50s Sock Hop on Friday, a golf scramble on Saturday and a family picnic following the 11 a.m. Sunday Mass. The 150th anniversary celebration of St. Joseph Shrine, Brooklyn, will begin with a catered meal and entertainment on Friday, June 25, beginning at at 6:30 p.m. To RSVP, call (517) 467-2183. Bishop Mengeling will celebrate the anniversary Mass at 11 a.m. on Sunday, June 27. Bethany House, DeWitt, is hosting its second annual Faith, Fun and Football camp from June 27-30. The camp, for young men entering grades 7-9, is directed by Jerry Hanlon, a parishioner of St. Thomas the Apostle, Ann Arbor, who coached with the University of Michigan for 24 years. Call Bethany House toll-free (866) 6698321 for more information. The Renewal Ministries Institute 2004 will feature four different schools, featuring excellent speakers and intensive training to equip Catholics with skills to help

change the world. • School of Catholic Bible Study, July 10-14 • School of Evangelization, July 16-25 • School of Spirituality, July 26-29 • Young Adult School of Discipleship, July 30-Aug. 1 The schools will be held at the Ave Maria College campus in Ypsilanti. Accommodations are available. Early registration deadline for each school is June 10, and all registrations must be received by July 1. Find out more at renewalministries.net, or contact Jessica at (734) 662-1730 x32. Youth to Youth Catholic Evangelization will host Duc in Altum II, July 26-Aug. 1, at Mt. Zion Pastoral Center, Flushing. High school students, young adults, youth ministers, seminarians and pastors are invited for training in the new evangelization. Learn valuable skills that can be used to present retreats, and grow spiritually. Space is limited. Send $5, nonrefundable, to reserve a place by May 31. The remainder of the $150 registration, which includes food, housing and a training manual, is due June 28. For more information, visit youthtoyouthcatholic.com. Bishop James A. Murray of the Diocese of Kalamazoo is leading a Pilgrimage to Catholic Ireland Oct. 1828, 2004. The cost is $2,399 per person. For more information, visit dioceseofkalamazoo.org or call Kurt Lucas at (269) 349-8714. Registration deadline is June 30.

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l o c a l

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Choirs combine to perform ‘Requiem’

Despite busy work schedules and commitments, a growing number of men in the Livingston region are choosing to dedicate more of their time to meeting and praying with their sons. Planning and executing the activities of “The Holy Crusaders,” a group organized by Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Hamburg, is reserved to fathers, whose goal is to provide their sons with awesome role models of Godly men. The group is made up of boys from kindergarten through high school, separated into three age groups, and meets twice a month at a local elementary school. Each meeting, the group focuses its teaching, faith sharing and activities on a specific “campaign,” such as industriousness, obedience or perseverance. The boys also share fellowship through different athletic activities, and the night concludes with a snack and prayer. In addition to scheduled meetings, the groups’ activities have included taking the boys on “father-son” camping trips, cleaning up the ground of a retreat center and praying in front of an abortion clinic. They are pictured here after participating in their annual “Pinewood Derby.”

Large audiences were captivated as the combined choirs of St. Mary, Mt. Morris, and Good Shepherd, Montrose, recently presented the Gabriel Fauré Requiem Opus 48 in concert. The choirs, under the direction of music director Eduardo Guerra, were accompanied by the high caliber music of Flushing High School orchestra and Ellsworth Jackson, a local organist. Especially noteworthy was the effort and dedication required of the performers, which included nearly 30 vocalists. – L. Briggs/Catholic Times

Father-son group teaches boys to be men of God

The Catholic Times

Diocesan workshop targets alcohol and drug addiction Parish representatives for the Bishop’s Council on Alcohol and Other Drugs from more 55 parishes in the Diocese of Lansing attended a day-long workshop on April 17. There were presentations on codependency and healing and aging and addiction. The meeting also included a viewing of a production called Visions, a play designed to help those suffering with addiction through a gritty, realistic, portrayal of alcoholism, addiction and recovery. Visions includes a cast and crew of recovering drug addicts and alcoholics and is the development stages of being brought to our diocese for production. priests on the move

Bishop Carl F. Mengeling announces the following assignments and transfers, effective June 30, 2004, unless otherwise noted. Rev. James Conlon from: parochial vicar of St. Francis of Assisi, Ann Arbor to: director of Bethany House, DeWitt

Rev. Steven Makranyi from: pastor of St. Robert Bellarmine, Flushing to: administrator of Most Holy Trinity, Fowler, from Sept. 1, 2004, until June 29, 2005

Rev. James Eisele from: pastor of St. Agnes, Flint to: pastor of St. Michael, Grand Ledge

Rev. Jeffrey Robideau from: parochial vicar of Resurrection, Lansing to: prison ministry in Jackson; residence at St. Joseph Home for Children, Jackson

Rev. Louis Ekka from: parochial vicar of Queen of the Miraculous Medal, Jackson to: parochial vicar of St. Robert Bellarmine, Flushing

Rev. John Rocus from: parochial vicar of St. Joseph, Howell to: pastor of St. Agnes, Flint

Rev. David Hudgins from: parochial vicar of St. Thomas Aquinas, East Lansing to: parochial vicar of St. Thomas the Apostle, Ann Arbor

Rev. Gerald Vincke from: director of Bethany House, DeWitt to: full-time director of seminarians for the diocese; residence at Emmaus House,East Lansing

Rev. Timothy MacDonald from: pastor of Most Holy Trinity, Fowler to: Rome to complete studies in sacred theology, from Sept. 1, 2004, until June 29, 2005, at which time he will return to Most Holy Trinity, Fowler

Rev. Alois Moses Xalxo (picture not available) from: parochial vicar of Most Holy Trinity, Fowler to: parochial vicar of Resurrection, Lansing

June 2004

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FAITHtalks to ‘Raising Helen’ cast Kate Hudson and cast discuss faith and parenting Kate Hudson stars in the new comedy, “Raising Helen,” in theaters May 28.

Since giving birth to her first child January 7, actress Kate Hudson has seen her most recent movie, “Raising Helen,” through a different lens. Watching the movie “was so much more emotional when I was a mother,” she says. She describes being a new mother as “incredible, and then some. It’s overwhelmingly beautiful.” Her relationship with her husband, musician Chris Robinson, has even taken on a deeper level of respect. “We’re sharing something so gigantic now,” says Hudson, who can now attest to the fact that becoming a parent changes how one perceives the world. In “Raising Helen,” directed by Garry Marshall, Kate Hudson stars as Helen Harris, a single, carefree socialite working at a Manhattan modeling agency. Helen is contrasted with her more responsible older sister Jenny (Joan Cusack), who is portrayed as the stereotypical super mom. A pregnant mother with children, Jenny loves potpourri and knitting. When their sister and brother in-law die in a tragic accident, everyone expects Jenny to receive custody of the orphaned children. Yet,

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for a reason that is not explained until the end, Helen suddenly finds herself as the sole guardian of 15-year-old Audrey (Hayden Panattiere), 10-year-old Henry (Spencer Breslin), and 5 year-old Sarah (Abigaile Breslin). Helen soon realizes many of her habits are unsuitable for raising children, and she begins a metamorphosis into motherhood. Kate Hudson explains, “We put a lot of thought into that – the transformation that she has to make. It’s even reflected in her clothes.” It is not long before Helen is overwhelmed. Wandering down the street and wondering where to send the children to school, she sighs, “Oh, God help me.” Immediately, we hear the church bells of nearby St. Barbara’s, the local Lutheran church and school. Pastor Dan (John Corbett), the school principal, welcomes the children for admission. Before long, Pastor Dan expresses concern about the behavior of the three children, especially Audrey, who begins to make unhealthy friendships at her new school. As one might expect, Helen and the single, charming pastor then fall in love. Unfortunately, their romance looks more like the puppy love that one would expect from a romantic comedy, rather than the mature courtship that one would expect from a pastor. Nevertheless, director Garry Marshall liked the story’s positive portrayal of a minister and the uniqueness of him being the romantic interest. “To be very honest, with some of the religious things going on in the news, I thought somewhere there should be a positive statement – that it is a good place and has good people,” reflects Marshall. “Can’t compete with Mel Gibson, but we figured we do our part,” he quips. “Raising Helen” also depicts a positive portrayal of the vocation to motherhood, which is so often misunderstood and unappreciated. In “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women,” Pope John Paul II notes, “Parenthood – even though it belongs to both – is realized much more fully in the woman, especially in the prenatal period. ... It is therefore necessary that the man be fully aware that in their shared parenthood, he owes a special debt to the woman.” Marshall felt that this movie was one way he could show his appreciation to mothers. He explains, “The reason I did the picture is because, in my mind, it is a salute to parents and how hard it is to raise kids these days in this society of ours. It is a salute to motherhood.”

– Alton Pelowski is assistant editor/webmaster for FAITH Magazine. Photos from Buena Vista Pictures Distribution.

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FAITH’s Alton Pelowski was part of an exclusive group of journalists to interview the cast of ‘Raising Helen,’ which director Garry Westphalia musician records new album Marshall calls “a tribute to motherhood.”

While “Raising Helen” focuses on the necessity of responsible motherhood, it somewhat fails to recognize the importance of responsible fatherhood. Yet, it hints at the role of fathers and the ideal of marriage as the foundation of the family. For instance, it does express the challenges that come with being a single parent. In Hudson’s opinion, the movie is “like a love letter to single mothers” because it is sympathetic to their struggles. Young Henry is especially affected by the death of his father, and he expresses the responsibility to be the “man” of the family. Also, according to Marshall, it was important that Helen found “a religious man who was solid enough that these kids would be alright. ... This man would give some solidarity to the family.” It eventually becomes apparent to Helen that she must be a mother to the children, and not just their baby-sitter or “cool aunt.” This challenge becomes most evident when Audrey leaves her high school prom with BZ, a disrespectful, lowlife senior. Helen is faced with a choice whether or not to confront the situation. “She’s going to hate me,” Helen tells Jenny. “She’s going to hate you if you don’t,” Jenny replies. Joan Cusack gladly identifies with her character, saying, “This part focuses on the importance of raising children, which I happen to feel is my most important job in life.” Cusack has spent less time acting since having her two sons, Dylan, 6, and Miles, 4. She and her husband live in Chicago, where they are raising their boys Catholic. Although she claims to be “no expert,” Cusack believes being a good mother to her children involves “being present with them, being aware of what’s going on with them, nipping things in the bud that aren’t helpful to them and bringing out things that they need to work on.” Lastly, it is notable that in the movie, Helen’s transformation does not end with external changes – such as wearing more modest clothing and quitting smoking. She must also mature in her approach to the world and learn to seek others’ wellbeing and happiness before her own. In a certain sense, Helen comes to understand that “parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children (and) a grave responsibility to give good example.” (CCC 2223) In the end, Helen realizes that true fulfillment won’t come from the glamour of the material world, and she sees family in a new light. A recent Gallup poll revealed that most Americans identify with her experience. According to the poll, people are more likely to say they are “highly satisfied” with their families than with any other area of their personal lives. Interestingly, they find the least amount of satisfaction from money. This is not surprising when we consider that lasting happiness is to be found not in things, but in loving relationships, the foremost of which is one’s relationship with God. Raising Helen is rated PG-13 for thematic elements involving teens. Parents are strongly cautioned.

Brian Flynn, director of music at St. Mary Parish, Westphalia, has recently recorded his second album, “In the Sight of the Angels.” Originally from Massachusetts, Brian lives with his wife and three children in Pewamo, Mich. His first solo album, released in 1999, was titled “Built on Faith” and consisted primarily of worship music and songs of meditation. Brian demonstrates his incredible talent and versatility with his new CD, released in March, which features a wide variety of musical genres and an even wider variety of instruments. The common thread between the songs on this aptly-titled album is the extraordinary quality of the faithfilled music, all of which lifts one’s spirit to God. The 12-track CD includes eight original songs, among which are the Eucharistic songs “Upper Room” and “Altar of the Lord,” and “The Greatest Gift,” a song Brian wrote for his wife. “In the Sight of Angels” is truly something you have to hear for yourself. To obtain a copy, visit your local Catholic bookstore or call (888) 708-7664.

New diocesan history is published The first history of the Diocese of Lansing was published in 1987, during the diocese’s 50th Jubilee. In 2002, Msgr. George C. Michalek, diocesan archivist and vice chancellor, was asked to author a second updated and extensive history. The result is the newly published “Living in Joyful Hope: A History of the Diocese of Lansing.” It is a full-color, hard cover book that features more than 200 pages of photos and information. In the book’s foreword, Bishop Mengeling writes, “This book is timely in view of our Holy Father’s recent concern: ‘the loss of Christian memory.’ Knowing and cherishing our roots and realizing and admiring the faith and courage of our Catholic forebears is essential for our identity ... This book is a testimony to the faith, fidelity and fortitude of our people.” If you would like to purchase a copy of “Living in Joyful Hope,” visit your local Catholic bookstore or call (517) 342-2477. FAITH wants to feature some “Teen good works” your teens are doing in our annual teen issue in September. It could be a Habitat for Humanity project, neighborhood clean-up, clothing drive for the poor, etc. Send: 1 the name of the teen, parish/school and age 2 a 75-word description of the “good work” 3 a photo (will not be returned) Mail to: TEEN Good Works FAITH Magazine, 300 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI 48933 or e-mail: editor@faithmag.com Deadline extended to: June 15, 2004 June 2004

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Pro-lifers offer largely silent witness at March for Women’s Lives

Managing a ministate: U.S. cardinal at the helm in the Vatican As chief executive of the world’s smallest state, U.S. Cardinal Edmund C. Szoka has to deal with problems faced by bigger nations – including potential terrorism, economic downturns and energy shortages. But Vatican City has unique challenges, too. Where else do parking lot excavations routinely unearth tombs and Latin inscriptions from the time of the Emperor Nero? Cardinal Szoka’s job is to make sure things run smoothly in the 109-acre Vatican City State. That means counting revenues, fixing up buildings and channeling tourists through the Vatican Museums. He’s responsible for everything from easing traffic flow to installing surveillance cameras. Cardinal Szoka, the former archbishop of Detroit, was called to the Vatican in 1990 to head the economic prefecture and help balance the annual budget. He is celebrating the 50th anniversary of his priestly ordination in June, and he plans to celebrate at the Vatican and in his native Michigan. Cardinal Szoka said he doesn’t know how long he’ll keep running Vatican City. When he reached the normal retirement age of 75 more than 18 months ago, he submitted his resignation to the pope as required by Church law. “The answer I got back was: For now, keep working. And I haven’t heard anything since,” he said. – John Thavis (CNS)

Amidst the hundreds of thousands taking part in the socalled “March for Women’s Lives” in Washington on April 25, pro-life groups conducted a largely silent witness along the route of those marching to keep abortion legal. Before the march, results from a Zogby International poll were released by the National Right to Life Committee. According to the results, only 13 percent of Americans believe abortion should be completely unrestricted. “Americans reject exactly what the marchers support: abortion on demand,” said an April 26 statement from Cathy Cleaver Ruse, director of planning and information for the U.S. bishops’ Secretariat for Pro Life Activities. – Mark Pattison (CNS)

Vatican says Mass norms must be followed exactly to ensure reverence The document, titled Redemptionis Sacramentum – “The Sacrament of Redemption” – was issued April 23 by the Vatican Congregation for Divine Worship and the Sacraments. The subtitle describes the instruction more fully: “On Certain Matters to Be Observed or to Be Avoided Regarding the Most Holy Eucharist.” “In some places the perpetration of liturgical abuses has become almost habitual, a fact which obviously cannot be allowed and must cease,” it says. The instruction states that Church norms in such matters must be followed to ensure reverence for the Eucharist and to maintain unity in the Church. – CNS Editor’s note: The text of Redemptionis Sacramentum is available online at vatican.va. CNS/Crosiers

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Prayer rally for marriage and family held in San Francisco

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About 1,500 San Francisco Catholics participated in a prayer rally in support of traditional marriage sponsored by the Archdiocese of San Francisco and Your Catholic Voice, a lay Catholic public policy advocacy organization. Prior to the April 3 rally, many of those at the rally attended Benediction and Mass at Ss. Peter and Paul Church. The liturgy was concelebrated by San Francisco Archbishop William J. Levada and Oakland Bishop Allen H. Vigneron; Father John Malloy, pastor of Ss. Peter and Paul; and numerous diocesan and religious-order priests. In his homily, Bishop Vigneron said that even at a time when those opposed to traditional marriage and family life “seem to be making progress,” those who “stand on behalf of God's truth” must remain hopeful. There is “no need for anxiety,” he said. “Do not be afraid.” Chris Guirlinger, from St. Dominic's Parish, emceed the rally on the steps of Ss. Peter and Paul Church, while participants held signs reading “Love and Tolerance – Yes; Same-Sex Marriage – No.” – Jack Smith (CNS)

Pope appeals for release of hostages in Iraq, decries violence

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Pope John Paul II appealed to radical groups in Iraq to show “feelings of humanity” and release the hostages they are holding. At the same time, the pope deplored the “inhuman” violence in the Holy Land, the day after the leader of the Palestinian militant organization Hamas was assassinated in an Israeli missile attack. The pope made his appeal April 18 after reciting midday prayers from his apartment window overlooking St. Peter’s Square. “I am following with great sadness the tragic news coming out of the Holy Land and Iraq,” the pope said. “May the bloodshed among brothers end. Such inhuman acts are contrary to the will of God,” he said. The pope said he joined in the prayers of families “who are fearful for their loved ones, especially those who have been taken as hostages.” – John Thavis (CNS)

does human life belong to us or God? l a s t

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great flood of killing has inundated the world in which we precariously live. Killing human beings is as easily justified as eating between meals. Pope John Paul II points out that we live in a culture of death – “we” including people all over the world, not just Americans. War, abortion, euthanasia, terrorism and suicidal fanaticism wash over our world in death-dealing storms. As in other forms of evil and sin, we need to look into our hearts and souls to discern what causes these things. Jesus makes it clear that “ … from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, unchastity, theft, false witness, blasphemy.” (Matt 15:19) The questions we must face in dealing with killing require deep and thoughtful answers. We dare not any longer settle for simple slogans. And the controlling issues? Well, they are many. They deal with revenge, justice, self protection, control over others, our human egotism and political power. Powerful voices are raised in positions found on both sides of these issues, arguing with great persuasion. Moral theologians are presently debating the requirements for a “just war” along with a new category, namely “humanitarian war.” The debates are open and vigorous. Among those voices, there is one who has consistently, courageously and forthrightly spoken – Pope John Paul II. Taking the phrase coined by the late Cardinal Joseph Bernadin of Chicago, “the seamless garment of life,” our Holy Father has written extensively and deeply in defense of human life. He has based his thinking on the divine image, the sacred presence of God, found in each human life, no matter how badly any particular human being may be deformed either by physical sickness or by sin. In our own thinking about these questions we need to begin by asking two fundamental questions: 1) Does human life belong to God or to us?, and 2) Do we believe that restoration is possible as long as a person remains in life? If one claims that human life does not belong to God, or that it doesn’t really matter, then all discussion and analysis stops. If one believes that restoration is not possible, then one is checkmating God. Once these questions are passed, however, we can then proceed into further discussion about Catholic teachings dealing with preserving, protecting and defending life, both with respect to the innocent as well as to those who have been found guilty. Each one of you in your faith has a voice to be heard in the total vox populi. You have a vital and life-giving role to play in the formation of our public policies dealing with these human life and death issues. No one of us can afford to let others decide these matters for us. – Fr. Charles Irvin is the founding editor of FAITH Magazine and is now living an active retirement in DeWitt. June 2004

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7 Goals of the Diocese As a result of our ongoing VOICES process, we, the Church of the Diocese of Lansing, will: 1 Create parish communities of faith that are inclusive and welcoming, and which encourage spiritual and social growth. 2 Evangelize, sharing the joy and promise of the Gospel with inactive and alienated Catholics and the unchurched. 3 Provide vibrant, lifelong faith formation opportunities which enable us to live the Gospel. 4 Nurture Spirit-filled ministers and leaders who are commissioned through the sacraments of initiation to use their gifts and talents to serve the needs and vision of the Church. 5 Respond to the Gospel’s call to social justice and outreach through education and by a coordinated assessment and response to the needs of the people in our communities. 6 Foster and enhance spirituality and worship that will deepen people’s relationship with God and the Church. 7 Strengthen the ongoing relationship of youth and young adults with the Church.

The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing

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