March 2003

walking with

someone who mourns can be the richest moment in life t must be hard to deal with sadness and grief so often," she said. I had JUst spent some time vistting wim a parishioner whose mother had recently died During the course of our conversation, there had been tears and laughter, and dle whole mix of emotions mat are so common when we find ourselves in the nudst of mourning While no two experiences of grief and mournmg are exactly me same, me world of priestly mmistry allows me the privilege of walking with many people who are expenencmg grief for a variety of reasons These reasons range from the loss of a job, the death of a loved one or the diagnosis of a terminaltllness, to the grief that surrounds the loss of a dream, the loss of hope and sometimes the loss of the will to live With such dtverse ground for mmistry, I have come to believe that walking with those who are mournmg IS not only one of the richest areas of priestly ministry. but one of the most important pans of the Christian life in which we share The hope that comes from trust in Christ5 promise to be with us always, even to the end of the age, is a powerful antidote for the struggle that can come in the midst of mourning. ln pledging to walk wim us in the diversity of our human experience, Chnst also offers us an important reminder that times of mourning are also times mat call us to community. Our own parish commumties can serve as invaluable As our moughts sources of strength m those times when we feel alone Providmg a home-cooked meal, a hand-written note, a personal visit or phone call tum to dle m the quiet days mat come in dle weeks after a loved ones funeral, or approaching sea¡ simply the whispered words, "I'm praymg for you," can be a source of son of Lent, we prepare to recall immeasurable comfort. Stmple gestures like mese, combmed with me power of a trusung faith, can lead us to experiences that are a mysteri- jesus' JOUrney to the cross. Yet the ous combination of me beautiful and the difficult. story does not In the second beatitude, jesus says, "Blessed are those who end there, for as mourn, for they will be comforted." The comfort to whtch jesus we know, death refers can take many forms, includmg thmgs such as a chtlds artwork and sincere words of appreciation, me efforts of two pareniS to change on the cross gives the system and even dle gift of new life Comfort, too, it would seem, way to resurrcc¡ can be a mysterious combination of the beautiful and me difficult, all tion and new life. rooted in faith What could a New York City pollee officer, the parents of two murdered teens, and a young couple all have in common? In meir own way they have walked the path of mourning, but mey have not made the journey alone. jesus has accompanied them, offering strength and comfort, often persorufied in very beautiful and utterly simple ways.

As our thoughts tum to the approaching season of l ent, we prepare to recalljesus' journey as He makes His way to jerusalem and the cross. Yet me story does not end mere, for as we know, death on the cross gives way to resurrection and new life The sadness of death gives way to me bright promise of immortality. Moummg gives way to comfort and even joy And so our journey in FAITH continues - Fr. Dwlpt Ezop 1s Editor 111 Chlcr or FAITH toUpzlnc 111111 pastor or the c.dlollc Coamumlcy of SLjude. DeWitt

contents

In the know with Fr. Joe: Fr. Joe: Does every saint have a feast day?

Fr. Joe Krupp 6

From the Bishop: Gift of Tears: Can grief and sorrow ever be a good thing?

Bishop Mengeling looks at how our tears can be a true gift. 1 0

A Special Progress Report: Our diocese's response to the sexual abuse crisis in the Church 28

Dealing with Loss: Miscarriage: How Sandy and Mike got through the pain of losing their baby 20 A parent's worst nighbnare: Kathy and Pat's biggest fear came true: "I don't think the girls are coming home~ How they coped after tragedy 17

Culture: Sl Joseph's Table: A miracle from the Middle Ages inspires us to feed the less fortunate. 24

WorkUfe: Coping with everyday loeees like those we experience at work 11m Ryan 19

World:

The Journey: Comforting words for a time of lose Cathleen McGreal 21

John Paul II: The pope has spoken out against a war with Iraq saying war is "the very 30 last option."

Spiritual Fitness: Reflecting on the sorrow of Mary Fr. BUI Ashbaugh 22

faith

Tho: Mqutno of'"' c..holoc Dtomt of~-'"""&

Most Reverend Carl F. Mengeling PUBUSHER

Rev Charles Irvin FOUNDING I!IHTOR

Volume 4 : Issue 2 Mlrdl2003

Rev. Dwi!!ht Ezop EDITOR IJi'CHIII'

some of your

thoui!hts: incluCling

' .,

reaction to

Jesus' 'brother?

Tell us what you think about anything you see In FAITH Magazine E-mail us at leHers@falthmag.com Or, send your leUers to: Editor, FAITH Magaz1ne 300 W, OUawa, Lansing, Ml48933

Patrick M. O'Brien MANAGING IDITOR/CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Alton Pelowski ASSISTANT EDITORIWE8M&STER

jillanejob SU8SCRIPT10NSIKCAETARY

Evelyn Weitzel

Dear Fr. Joe (Bahbaa Yoslp), Wllh regard to the article "did Jesus have any brothers or sisters?" (FAITH Magazine, January/February 2003),

l'm 65 years old and during my lifetime l've had people spring GRAPHICIWE8 D~GNER that question on me thinking that they "had me good." So allow me Rev William Ashbaugh to tell you how I've responded Kathy Funk and what I think, but first a little Elizabeth Johnson background. My father immi Rev. joseph Krupp grated to this country ... from Patricia Majher Iran. He was an Assyrian and in Cathleen McGreal Erin Oakley 1936 married an Assyrian lady, Most Rev. Kenneth] . Povish my mother; and a year later Tim Ryan their number one son (me) was Nancy Schertzing born. Assyrians speak Aramaic/ Sr. janet Schaeffier. OP ... When I went into the 1st Carolyn Smith grade at St. Marys in Flint I CONTRiatmNG WRITERS almost flunked because I didn't Margaret Perrone speak English. So, I know about PROOI'READING the language and customs. When Christine jones my father had a close common james Luning tcover) bond of some kind he would call Philip Sh•ppen CONT1U8unNG PHOTOGRAPHI!RS a man "my brother" and a woman "my sister." ... This is Wayne Case bestawing a very high honor and David Fenech Rev. Matthew Fedewa respect upon an individual. My Patricia Garcia opinion:jesus must have had Diane Nowak close relationships with a lot of Margaret Perrone people! Some relationships may james Rhadigan have been so closely bonded that Ricardo Rodriguez it may have been appropriate for David Rosenberg Him to bestow upon a man or a Rev.james Swiat woman the (title) "my brother" Peter Wagner or "my sister" and the man or SharnnW.:,&le ADVISORY D woman involved may have felt the same about Him and called Rev. Cecilio Reyna WEll MINISQn' jesus "my brother." ... One must Paulette Burgess understand the customs and attiPAITHIIelpa tudes of a particular nationality, Rogers Printing especially during that period of PRINTING lime, to truly understand what ~&ml (USI'S 01HI3) lo o-....., ,.-, .,..,Colllok-...u....,3oow.ou-, the words really mean. Of _ _ _ _ U.50._ .. _ _ _ _ ~a~o~ne.••-----.,......_.......,_ ...,.,.,_. course, those that would prefer to _ .,._.._.3CIIIw.~~ demean the Vinrin Mary (Yimie, • - (5171 :142-2511!1: Iu lSI 11 :142-253?.,..

•o· m~~u•u , ----...my Mother) would circumvent -~----P05lii&STDI:-w.o.-........,• the infonnation that .

I've.suggest..... ,..., .... _.. .. ...,....,~~~~~~.,.._ ... (1, ed to try to prove thetr pomt. ... ......._ ...__,rsm~•2·2IIHI ~God Bless you, Norman SU8SCRIPT10NS

Patrick Dally

7

..... ,....,

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I

the bride to the groom. In this As an avid Lord of the Rings fan I must comment on way, one can say that the profile the review you put In your of marriage is found spiritually in January/February 2003 Issue virginity." In the perpetual nature of Marys virginity we see on '"lila 1Wo Towers" movie. expressed her total and undivided Frodo is not the Christ figure in love for God. As members of the Tolhiens trilogy but a figure of every Christian on his own jour· Church, the virgin bride of Christ, may we contemplate the ney to fu!Jlll the purpose of his Creator. It would be more fitting mystery of Mary as virgin, spouse and mother in our own to say that he is like the pilgrim of Bunyans famous "A Pilgrims striving to be kept spotless and pure for our Bridegroom.

Progress" than to say he is a JudHh M. Stegm•n 01rist figure. The trilogy has many Catholic attributes which While lstenlng to publk were not acknowledged in the review. ... LOTR is a story of the radio, I heard of a car emblaacceptance of Divine Providence, zoned with '"What Would Jesus Drtve?" being used to coerce the of the power offorgiveness and love, of the necessity of suffering, car industry into produdng vehicles with greater gas mileage. I and, most especially, of the importance of shawing mercy to heard only the end of the presenta· lion; therefore I had no idea who others in our daily lives. ... drove the car or who was being Donn11nuule Lapc:zynskl represented by the driver. The ref In the January/February erence appalled me. I thought it 2003 Issue, Fr. Joe opens dis- terribly crass and typical of the secular world to take a religious cussion about "our belief In Mary's perpetual virginity and statement, intended to encourage people to make the tight choices in why that Is Important." I write as a consecrated virgin, alfinning areas of spiritual warfare, and co+ opt it for a political agenda. that the perpetual virginity of Mary has deep meaningfor me, Imagine my surprise and disgust when Ifound out the details in as I expect it also does for the FAITH Magazine. The car was married woman - and for each member of the Church. Both the being driven by Sr. Sylvester. One consecrated virgin and the mar- of our own was using the name of jesus in this manner. tied woman find their perfect Our Lord and Savior jesus Christian model in Mary, she who was "full ofgrace" and chose Christ is not a slogan to represent to respond with an exclusive and the agenda of the day, be it "Save the Earth~ or "Don't eat meaL" enduring gj.ft of herself to her The insensitivity to this concept by Spouse, the Holy Spirit. In his Apostolic utter "On the Dignity a sister and FAITH Magazine astonishes me. After reading the and Vocation of Women," john article, my 9-year-old stated, Paul II expresses, "A woman is "What~ next, 'What Would jesus 'married' either through the sacrament of marriage or spiritu- Drink?'- Maybe Coke."

Apparently she gets it. ally through marriage to Christ.

Charyl A. Malr In both cases marriage sign!fies the 'sincere gj.ft of the person' of st. J-ph'• Pmfsh, Dater 7

the shuttle

a(:olumbia 'aisaster: is space navel worth it?

T

faithmag.com

he shock of the seven

astronauts perishing Feb. 1 reminds us that our space program has, aside from the costs, very significant risks.

For the second time in 17 years we have had dramatic proof of those risks. Is it worth it to continue our space program?

The pollsters will measure pubic opinion, but perhaps we should look not at the results of polls but rather whether or not it is intrinsically moral to Astronaut continue our scientific and exploration William c. endeavors in outer space. Clearly our McCool Church and our Holy Father, Pope john perished in the Paulll , find no inherent connict between reentry disaster 'th and reason.

Feb. 1. McCool While some folks may question what science became a has given us, it seems that the conditions and Catholic in his standards of our lives have been vastly improved adult years. by the elfons of scientists and explorers.

Read the rest of Fr. Charlie Irvin's story only on FAITHmag.com

faithteen.com

TEEN Quiz: from Pat Rinker

teens and grief

M

y father died when I was 12 years old. He had been home the last few years of his life and we were very close. When he died it was very difficult. The whole family was present and it was very sudden. How would you respond to something tragic?

A Allow your emotions to flow honestly.

B Share your grief with others who share your faith and sorrow.

Pray, seeking comfort in your faith and in God's presence.

D Keep to yourself - afraid to deal with the pain.

Take this personality quiz only on FAITHteen.com

why is St. joseph the patton ofabappy death?

W

henJoeslnplhe famous sana Old Man River In lhe musk:lll, Showboat, I lot cf peopll CIR . . . . to the Ina, "I'm tired of living and 8C8I'1Id of dying~ But Catholics don't need to fear death. In fad, in St. Joseph, whoae feast day we celebrate March 19, we even have a patron saint who can help ua obtain the grace of a happy death.

Bul why ehould Joeeph, foaler. father of Jeaua, be the palrOn of the c¥ng and a happy death? His other palronagea make much more--. considering how liltle we adualy know about him. He's patron of fathenl and families, C8lp8fUr8 and other craftsmen, worf<ing people, f1e poor; and the Univenlal Ctuch.

The ~ don, ...... much about Jaeeph, and after the incident of losing - and then fincing - Jeaua in the 18mple when he was 12 or 13, we read nothing more about Joeeph. However, because Jeaua ri'usla Mary to one d Hie disciplea al Hie cndixion, we can make the assumption that Joeeph died before Jesus fulfilled Hie misaion on earth. For generations, Calhoica have painted a picture d Joeeph brealhing hie laat with Mary and Jeaua by hie aide to comfort him.

A Mh c:enlury apocryphal book, enlilled The History '!/joseph dte Carpmtu, thai Joseph WIIS lfreld cl dying and saddened that he hadn't accomplished more in hie lira Mary and Jesus comforted him and promised potaction and life to 8V8I)'Of18 who did good in the name of Joeeph. Wllh thoee aaauranoes, Joeeph was able to die in peace and contentment - a happy death. By the 17th century, many Catholic groups had developed a apecial devotion to St. Joeeph for thoee desiring a happy death.

St. Joseph cldn, need to be "sand of dvlnl!' By the rltlle we know about him from the Goapels, he was a caing man who loved hie family, a failhf\J man who did what God walled hm to BY8I1 when he didn't completely understand what was going on, and a just man who lived honestly and humbly, woricing to support hie M'a and foetal "Child, fulfilling the laws d his religion. and quietly doing hie cUy. 'AIIdng Joseph for our model, end lllldng for his lrllarcesslon, we too can look forward 110 • hllppr delllh wlh Miry and....._ by our lid&

a..

Prayer to St. Joseph (believed to be over 1900 years old): 0 St. joseph whose protection ls so great, so strong. so prompt before Ike ahront: of God, l place in you aU my interests and desires. 0 St. Joseph do assist me by your powerful interression and o&loin for me from your Divine Son all spiritual blessings through jesus Christ, Our Lord; so that having engaged hut below your heavenly power l may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving offarhos. 0 St. joseph, I never weary contemplating you and jesus asleep in your arms. l dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press Him in my name and Ieiss His jine head for me, and ash Him to return the kiss when l draw my dying breath. St. joseph, patron '!/departing souls, pray for us. Amen - Eizabelh Jotnon More on Sl Joeeph: WMI'slegend? WMI'•

-

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· ~ • . t: J I,~.n·

•

., .. t.r.f,cnfAITHrn.Hll Orr

saint of the month

,...? Find out on FAI11IIMg.com

in the know with Fr. Joe

are there saints we

don't celebrate?

If so, why not?

Dear Fr. joe: I read with interest the various saint feast days on my calendar. Two questions: Does every saint have a feast day? Also, what or who determines which saints' feast days make it on the calendar and which do not?

It seems like every year the same saints are represented, some of whom seem rather "minor" (not to be judgmental).

time during or shortly after a saint is canonized, the Church will ask us to celebrate the saint and his or her comribu¡ lrighty then! letS go tions on a specific day. I with number two fiJSt, would assume that the ones because jesus said "the first will chosen to be on the calendar be last and the last will be first." are those who address in some way issues that are timeless.

Just tryin' to be Scriptural.

Anyway, the Church decides There are saints who address which saints' feast days make issues that are no longer as it on the calendar and which important as others. For ones don'L This can be done example, if a saint spent his or in two ways. In the first way. her life defending the fact that popular devotion over a peri- jesus is the Son of God then od of time can lead the that would be something that Church to officially recognize is timeless - meaning that it. In the second way, some~ people always seem to attack

A

5

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Dear Fr. joe: I just received my Faith Magazine Oan!Feb 2003) and read your article about whether jesus had brothers or sisters.

Personally, I have always believed that Mary had more children because the Bible calls jesus "her firstborn son."

(Luke 2:7) Do you have more information about that?

Also, does it mention anywhere when joseph died and how?

So, there I was, sitting in the restaurant, looking over the menu. The waiter came over and I said "Sir, how do you prepare the chicken?" He paused and said, "Nothing special really. We just tell them, Look, you're going to die." Preparation is the name of the game, isn't it? This month's column is a sort of follow up to last month's, as we had, as usual, some great questions!

E C I ,\ L

L E N T E N

I S S 1:

r:

that teaching. If they taught us about the benefits or evils of the crossbow (and there really is a saint that did that!). then that might not be something we need to focus on as much.

Does every saint have a feast day? Yes and No (l really should run for office).

Yes, because of All Saints Day, on which we honor all of the saints who are on the calendar, along with those who are not. No, because there are only so many days in the year and at last count over 3,000 recognized and canonized saints.

0 E ,\ l I N G

0

\\ I T II

kay, your question basically has two parts. let's take the first one first. (How'S that for prioritizing?)

"Firstborn" was a significant title in Scriptural times.

As jews, there were laws and prescriptions that Mary an joseph followed for jesus' dedication that are in line with the firstborn male son. l 0 o; S

muc:ll queatlon

~

what is one way ou plan to observe ent this year?

r

Every year during Lent, Catholics recognize an obligation to fast and pray in a special way, as the Church unites herself to the mystery of jesus in the desert. The Catechism states the solemn days of Lem are "particularly appropriate for spiritual exercises, penitential liturgies, pilgrimages as signs of penance, voluntary self·denial such as fasting and almsgiving, and frater· nal sharing (charitable and missionary works)." (CCC 1438) With this in mind, we asked parishioners at Sl Andrew Parish, Saline, "What is one way you plan to observe Lent this year?"

•r plan to study the

"I'll spend more

Bible on a daily

time alone with the

"I'm going to teach my children more

basis~

Lord~

prayers~

Esther Ayers

Kevin Krzytanlah

Angela Ryan

faithmag.com cer

luke 2 23} It

doesn't mean that Mary had other children. It just means jesus was the first male born to her.

In terms of Josephs As jews, there wen~ laws and death, I quote at this prescriptions time Samuel that Mary and joseph followed Clemens who said, "I for jesus' quote oth· dedication that arc in line with ers to the firstborn express male son. myself bet· ter." Thus, I will give you the section from the Catholic Encyclopedia on that one: "This is the last we hear of St. joseph in the sacred writ,, gs, and we may well suppose at jesus' foster-father died before the beginning of the Savior's public life. In several

demise; and if we are to believe join our online the Venerable Bede, he was discussion forum buried in the Valley of • • ••••••••••••••••••• Join us for 12.46, Mark 3.3 l . luk~ 8.19, j ohn 7·3), josaphat. In truth we do not a discus· but never do they speak of His know when We moty well sion on father in connection with the St. joseph suppose that these and rest of the family; they tell us died; it is other topics only that Our Lord, during His jesus' fostermost father died hcforc unlikely in the public life was referred to as the son of Joseph (John 1 45, 6 :i2, the beginning of that he Discussion Forum section of the Saviors luke 4 22) the carpenter (Matthew attained the FAITHmag.com. Registration public life. n 55). Would jesus, moreover, ripe old age is no longer necessary. All you have to do is click and post. when about to die on the spoken of by the "Story of Feel free to respond to any Cross, have entrusted His joseph" and St. Epiphanius. mother to johns care, had St. The probability is that he died topic you may have read in FAITH Magazine, or to an and was buried at Nazareth." joseph been still alive?

According to the apocryphal existing topic found within the Thanks and enjoy another Discussion Forum. We want "Story of joseph the day in Gods presence! 1 Carpenter," the holy man •••••••••••••••••••••• people to share their reached his hundred and experiences and opinions so Send your Questions to: eleventh year when he died, on that we can reflect on these "In the Know with Fr. Joe" issues together and learn from 20 july (A. D. 18 or 19). St. FAITH Magazine Epiphanius gives him ninety one another. See you online.

300 W. Oltllwe, Lllnalng, Ml 48933 - Fr. Cccllio Reyna, moderator years of age at the time of his Or: JoelnBiack@prlesLcom circumstances, indeed, the Gospels speak of the latter's mother and brothers (Matthew

FAIT'Hhetps and FAintt n n are free online c:ompanlona to FAITM Magazine. Get them only on FAITHmag.c:om

Marc:h 2003

I.

7

FAITH Magazine

why we believe in one God

maker of heaven and earth

liule boy in a third grade faith formation session was intently drawing a picture. His catechist leaned over and asked him what he was doing. The small boy replied that he was drawing a picture of God. Gently the catechist told him that no one knows what God "looks" like. Innocently and confidently the budding artist replied, "They will when I'm done."

The mystery of God! We use words, symbols, definitions, pictures, and dogmas.

Yet, ultimately God is a mystery. "Even when he reveals

himself, God remains a mystery beyond words." t<:cc 230} The author Rudolph Ouo said, ~If the human mind could fully explain God, then God would cease to exist."

will I comfort you." The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us, ~God tran· We believe In one God, scends the dis· the Father••• tinction between the Jesus called God Father, "Abba," a loving parent image sexes.Heis to stress the intimacy of God neither man with humanity. When we call nor woman.

He is God." (CCC 239) only Son, who is eternally God Father, we are using the language of faith. In Scripture ~Jesus revealed that God is Son only in relation to His Father." (CCC H o) God is also referred to in femi- Father in an unheard-of nine images, such as mother. sense: He is Father not only Almighty...

In Isaiah 66:13, God says, "As in being Creator; He is etera mother comforts her son, so nally Father in relation to His The word almighty occurs

7 fast facts

His creatures' inmost being: "In Him we live and move and have our being ~ (CCC 300)

1 Goers elmlghly power Is In S The universe has • just· no way arbllnry: "In God, power, essence, wil, intellect, wis- right grevttetlonel force. clorT\ and justice 81'8 all identical. If it were large, the stars would be too hot and bum up too Nothing therefore can be in God's power which could not be quickly and too unevenly to support life. If it were smaller, in His just wiK or His wise intellect.~ (CCC 270, d. St. Thornea Aquinle) the stars would remain so cool, nuclear fusion would never 2 Evolution vs. Creation: There is no conflict between the ignite, and there would be two according to Pope John no heat and Paul II who said, "new knowllight. The uni· edge has led to the recognition verse has a of more than one hypothesis in juat·right averthe theory of evolution: age distance between stars.

3 God alone created the If it were larger, universe freely, directly, and the heavy elewithout any help. (CCC 317) ment density would be too 4 God Is Infinitely greeter thin for rocky than el His works. But because He is the free and sov- planets to fonn, ereign Creator, the first cause of and there would only be all that exists, God is present to gaseous planets. If it were

smaller, planetary orbits would become deatabilized. Could all this happen by accident? Not a chancel There is a God, the maker of heaven and earth.

8 There ere Limits to Reason: Saint Auguatine, St. Thomas Aquinas, and other Qf98l thinkers developed arguments that help us to understand that it is reasonable to believe in God. There are limits, however, to what we can know about God from reason.

7 TheWortd Is a Work of Art: St. Francis of Aaaiai is the patron saint ecologists.

He reminded us that the created world is God's work of art.

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til'.,,

tit

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theology 101 Sr. janet Schaefller, OP, an Adrian

,

• The mystery of the Holy Trinity is the central mystery of the • God's very being Is love.

Christian faith and life. God alone By sending His only Son and the can make it known to us by Spirit of Love in the fullness of revealing Himself as Father, Son time, God has revealed His and Holy Spirit. (CCC 261) innennost sec111t: God Himself is • The ninlty Is One. We do an eternal exchange of love not confess three Gods, but one Father Son and Holy Spirit - and God in three peraons, the 'con- He has destined us to ahlll1! in substantial Trinity: (CCC 253) that exchange. (CCC 221)

fifty-six times in Scripture. It is used only for God. The literal meaning of the word translated "almighty" in the New Testamem is "the One who has His hand on everything."

Maker of heaven and r/i.arth, of all that Is seen \.Ynd unseen •..

St. Thomas Aquinas said, "God has given us two books of revelation. One is nature.

The other is Scripture. We need to learn to read them both to understand the greatness of God." Many of us have learned about God from homilies, catechisms, religious education and Scripture classes. Do we take as much time to read

the book of creation to see what it tells us about our marvelous God? The poet Gerard Manley Hopkins reminded us: "The world is charged with the grandeur of God." At one point in our history,

Dominican sister, is Associate

humans believed that all creation was theirs to have dominion over. In 1980 the U.S. Bishops of the heartland published a statement, Strangers and Guests, which called us to stewardship, based on the 25th chapter of the Book of Leviticus. Today many theologians are challenging us to look at the model of companionship which is modeled in Genesis 2.

Stewardship can imply that God began creation and then handed over its care to humanity, so much so that humans move to center stage in the drama of creation.

Companionship keeps the relationship of God and humanity in proper balance.

Companionship also sees the inherent goodness in all creation rather than the belief that some parts of creation are objects to be used by other creatures. The common good rather than individualism is the focal point of our actions and decisions.

Director or the Perhaps the most Office for important reality Catechetic:sl about our belief and Religious relationship with Education of the God is summed up Archdiocese in this story. A of DebOlt, contin. singing contest was ues her 9-part held at a small series on the parish church. One Creed exclusively of the best trained forFAilH operatic singers entered the competition. He sang a rendition of the Our Father which was flawless. No one else wanted to compete against him, but finally a nervous older gentleman of the parish was persuaded to try. As he began to sing, few could hear him. He faltered. Then slowly he found the strength to pour himself into it. His performance was far from technically perfect, but every heart was touched. When the judges awarded him the prize, the operatic singer contested, "Why him? Why not me?

Wasn't I brilliant?"

They answered: "You knew the song. He knew the Father." "' • -

-

-·-=---

--

~1

7 traditdonal ~rayers on tihe mystery of God

1 My Lonl and my God, give me everything that brings me closer flff you. st. Nk:hollls Of Plue

~ It ts right and just to sing of You, to·bless You, to praise You, to thank You, to worship You -for

You a~ God- ineffable, inconceivable, invfsible, incomprehtnSlblc; always c:xfsting and ever the same, You and Your only begotten Son and Your Holy Spirit.

5L John Chrysostam

a \\Titt your blessed name; 0 Lord, upon my heart, thm: to rtrnafn so tndtllbly engraved, that no prosptrity, no adversity shall ever move me from your love. lbomuiiKMI~

4 Ltt nothing disturb you, Ltt

nothingfrighten you. All things a~ passing but God never changes. Patience gains all things.

Ifyou have God, you nttd nothing else. st. ilhwesa of Avila

S Holy God, we prafst thy name; Lonl ofal~ we bow before thee.

All on earth thy scepter claim; All in heaven above adore thee.

Infinite thy vast domain; .Everlasting Is thy mgn.

8 And His name shall be called \\bndtljU~ Counselor; the Mighty God, the .Everlastfng'Fathtr; the Prince of Peace. fnMn the chorus of the Messkllt based on the prope.tlsaleh

7 Creator of all things, true sourre of lfght and wisdom, lofty origin of all being. graciously let a ray of your brilliance penetrate Into the darkness of my understanding. $t. 1'tiOiMs ~

Below: Glass mos:Jic p;lllel by Sr. Mary Ignatius Dcnay, RSM, on display nl the new Mlchlgnn Catholic Conference hcadquarters,l..:insing I

Pbotogr.~phy by Chrlstlnejoncs

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from the bishop

Though I lacked understanding as a child bystander, I vividly remember times of mourning. I'm sure most of you can recall similar times in your own lives.

In 1939 we watched in horror and grief as Uncle August and Aunt Berthas home and farm buildings burned to the ground. We were all in a daze in 1941 when the eldest boy next door was struck with ~Uo and put in "" Iron lung.

1942, another boy died of eukemia at the age of 11. I recall watching Mom weep when a letter came from Germany telling of her fathers death in 1943. Our greatest mourning was in 1945 when Aunt Marys son, our eldest cousin and a pilot in the U.S. Army Air Forces, was killed.

During these "mourning" times, I was learning that weeping makes us merciful and feel pity for others.

As a seminarian and then a young priest, my eyes were opened to another dimension of mourning that cried out for mercy and pity, and spiritual and material support: mourning over grave mistakes and the sad results for others; regret over selfish and sinful decisions and their effects. I began to sense how important it was to tourn over evil and its effects a first step toward liberation, healing and new life.

I remember in 1969- during my first pastorate - the tragedy of one large family when their home burned. The parishs mourning turned into massive support. The family moved temporarily into the convent. There was intense mourning in 1977 when two children attending the parish school were killed while walking to class.

Then there!; the ever-present mourning over all kinds of failure, betrayals, grave sin, addictions, neglect, indifference and more.

I sensed that all this mourning is linked. The beatitudes came alive once l began to link them with jesus. They reveal jesus- His mind, heart and will. They are His relationship with the Father and with us. His entire life as the New Adam reflects and expresses these beatitudes.

"Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." This is the toughest to accept. The connection between mourning and happiness is an enigma that turns everything upside down. Yet jesus teaches it as a way to happiness and lives this beatitude as a way to happiness for Himself and everyone. Apart from jesus and His life, the beatitudes remain a perplexing enigma. jesus not only is each one, but jesus lives them. We

are called to do the same. jesus is the "one who mourns" and is "comforted" and "blessed."

Scripture says that it was the hopeless condition of a helpless humanity enslaved by sin and burdened with overwhelming needs that brought forth the Savior who mourns over us, comforts us with divine pity and mercy. and makes us well. jesus' first words in the Nazareth synagogue affirm that He is the Messiah whom Isaiah said would mourn over evil and its tragic effects in the world. Isaiah speaks of comfort to those who mourn and regrets their infidelity and betrayal that has brought devastation to Zion. Their mourning opened to them regret and repentance and the lords comfort. jesus and His Church will do this for all humanity.

Luke and Matthews account of the beatitudes differ in perspective yet truly complement each other.

Matthew stresses internal dispositions and attitudes. We mourn over failures and over sin and 1ts debilitating effects in our lives as followers of Christ. Luke highlights the real tragedy of the human condition brought about by sin. He mourns over the plight and suffering of the poor and oppressed and all

And Web video excerpts of Bishop Mengellng's homilies end prHs ~:e~nferenc:es only on FAITHmeg.com

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forms of injustice brought by human avarice and the thirst for power. jesus and His Church mourn over our shared sinfulness and continue the struggle for justice. jesus mourns for all who need divine mercy- poor and rich. luke stresses that jesus singles out the evil that makes people poor and oppressed by injustice. The rich need to repent and not let riches and power harm the poor. The Gospels also show jesus mourning over sickness, tragedy and death. He wept at the tomb of His dear friend Lazarus. He was moved with pity for the widow whose only son died. He wept over jerusalem. Thus, three reasons for mourning converge in jesus and bring about divine comfort. No wonder so many saints speak of the "gift of tears"!

This is my current grasp of "blessed are they who mourn" during this 72nd year of my journey of faith. How fitting is Paul's paradox in 2 Corinthians 6:9-10: "We an: called dead, yet hen: we arc alive; punislu:d, yet not llilled; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor; yet enrid1ing many; having notllin~. yet posscssing all things."

- Mos1 Rev. Carl 1: Mrngtllng ls lht

rounh blshop or Lansing.

Mard i 2003

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â&#x20AC;˘ Their worlds came together at a place inappropriately named Fresh Kills - the Staten Island landfill that was designated as the site for sifting through the

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rubble of the World Trade Center towers.

It was March 7, 2002,

and Officer Steve Tanicones job was to do just that - sift through debris looking for anything that would bring closure to the families of the more than 2,800 victims of the terrorist

attacks. Its not a job Officer Steve Tanicone, pictured above with the wreckage of New York Are Department engines

many would want to do but it was his duty.

That dicln't make it an

and the rubble from the Wor1d Trade Center; found

consolation from Amanda Davio's letter of thanks.

easier for him, though.

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"Everyone (from the 106th precinct)

tl( ~ook a tum at the landfill," explains

l~ Steve. After donning a protective suit and a special breathing mask, he was sent into a tent with six or eight other police officers to go through debris as it passed on conveyor belts - the top of a cops gun, identification cards, bones ...

"Six months later and it was just bone.

I couldn't believe bones were coming off there; it was like a graveyard.

"I was sitting there thinking, 'Oh. my God, stuff from the World Trade Center is passing me by.'"

When things got to be too much, Steve found refuge in a tent set up by the Red Cross. There, he was surrounded by thousands of cards from schoolchildren from across the nation - all in support of the work he and his fellow officers and firefighters were doing. He stopped to look at them and he picked up the card in front. It said: "Thank You. You Make Me Feel Proud." It was signed "Amanda." He turned it over and there was a return address stamped on the back- "St. Q( :Aartha School, Okemos."

This wasn't the first time Steve had been surrounded by cards. When he was pulling 12-hour shifts at Ground Zero, cards of support and encouragement were posted everywhere. Again, when he was dispatched to assist at the crash site of American Airlines Flight 587 in November 2001, wtiuen sentiments surrounded the emergency workers.

However, at Fresh Kills, it was the first time he was able to really stop and take it all in. "I wanted to say 'thank you' and Amanda's card was the one (I chose)," Steve says. "Three weeks later, 1 decided to write to her."

The only problem facing Steve was that he wasn't quite sure who Amanda was -just that she was a kindergartner at St. Martha Catholic School. That didn't stop him.

He sent a package to the school that included an NYPD baseball hat, a badge, a cloth insignia, photos of Ground Zero and some police mem( t1ership cards - along with the con\.\truction paper greeting he picked up at the Red Cross tent. His letter to the

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school, in part, said: "l would like to thank Amanda, her classmates and the staff at St. Martha School for all your support and taking the time out of your busy day to thank all of us."

He asked that the items be given to Amanda.

It didn't take much detective work on the part of Helen Hillman, principal of the school, to figure out who Amanda was. There was only one little girl with that first name in the kindergarten class - Amanda Davio. But Hillman dectded that a special presentation was in order

and she had the perfect opportunity during the schools spring program that, appropriately, had a patriotic theme. She called Amanda's parents, Chris and Sherri Davio of Okemos, and told them they might just want to videotape the spring program.

Chris and Sherri did just that. M it (the program) was just incredibly movmg,~ said Chris. Moving for her parents, maybe, but Amanda actually thought she might be in trouble when Mrs. Hillman called her name. "It scared me!" shares the firstgrader.

It wasn't the first time she had been scared. lt had been an in-service day

Chris and Shcrri Davio and daughters Amanda, Angela, and Alissa journeyed to New York to meet Officer Steve Tarriconc who roUcd out the red carpet for his new friends from Okemos.

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for St. Martha School when terrorists attacked the World Trade Center.

Amanda had been staying at her grandmothers house and saw the events unfold on television. "'I was kind of scared that they (the terrorists) would come here and knock down our bmldings .... I didn't know who it was doing these terrible things. And I was sad for the kids who lost their parents.• One good tum deserved another so the Davio family decided to thank Officer Tanicone for his act of kindness.

They sent him a copy of the videotaped program along with a personal greeting from Amanda that included a song and an introduction to her dog, jasmine.

Ml wasn't really expecting a reply," says Steve. "But when I got her VIdeotape, I must have sat down on the couch and watched it 15 or 20 times. I was just crying my eyes out."

Soon the Tanicone and Davio fami· lies would become, Steve says, "as close as any family can be." first, Hillman and her family, coincidentally, had the opportunity to meet Steve, his wife, Michelle, and 2-yearold daughter, Ashley, during a trip to New York that she had won during an auction benefitting the school. Steve rolled out the red carpet for Hillman's family. "We just had the best time with him," says Hillman.

Next, the Davios and daughters Amanda, Angela, 8, and Alissa, 14, journeyed to New York to meet the Tarricones. Again, Steve rolled out the red carpet for his new friends from Okemos. "We went out there \vith the basic intention of meeting Steve and his family," Chris explains. "We didn't know about all the things he had planned for us."

For Amanda, just meeting her new ...

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pen pal was enough. "I was really surprised that l got to see him in real life," she says.

"It seemed like we knew him already," adds Sherri.

According to Steve, it was "Amanda's show.~ She was featured in the New York Post and on the radio where she informed listeners that when she grows up. she wants to be a "police officer.~ In the meantime, thanks to Steve, she was made an honorary member of the NYPD- her badge number: 91101.

The Davios visited Ground Zero and had a special tour of One Police Plaza, including a power point presentation into the investigation of the terrorist attacks. New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly took the time to welcome Amanda and her family to the city. "He told us that Amanda has come to represent all the schoolchildren who sent cards," says Chris, wand that Steve has come to represent all the police officers.~ One detective even came in on his time off and brought his daughters to meet the Davios.

A trip was also made around New York Harbor in a police patrol boat, including Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. The captain of the patrol boat affirmed for the Davios what was gained through the cards and letters that children sent following Sept. 11. wHe said, 'l can't tell you how important the cards and letters were to us,'" says Chris. "Then he reached into his wallet and pulled out a card he still carries from a child in New Jersey. He said it was special that Steve took the time to answer."

"The coolest thing," reports Amanda, "was when we went on the police boat and in the police van with the lights and sirens."

The Davios were treated like family during a birthday party held in honor of Steve and Michelle's daughter, Ashley. "There were 57 people there," Chris says, "and about half-way through the party, we could hear bagpipers out in the street. The police department's Emerald Society put on a concert for Amanda and Ashley."

And Steve's family brought gifts not just for Ashley but also for Amanda.

Steve, his wife and daughter made a trip to Okemos this past November. Steve visited each classroom at St. Martha School to personally thank all the students for their support.

"The whole experience has been important to the kids," Chris says. Ml'm glad something positive has come out of Sept.

11. just to see the reaction from Steve and other officers on how important the cards were will always stay with us."

Next, n was the Davios' tum to play hosts to the Tarricone family. Steve, his wife and daughter made a trip to Okemos this past November. Even though he was hobbled by a broken ankle, Steve visited each classroom at St. Martha School to personally thank all the students for their support. He gave each one a folder containing all sorts of mementos. The most important - and the one he asked them to hold close to their hearts forever- was a police union bereavement card listing the names of the 23 NYPD officers who lost their lives at the World Trade Center.

New York may have been Amanda's show but Okemos proved to be Steve's.

U.S. Rep. Mike Rogers, who initially asked the school for the cards of support, presented Steve with a special tribute from the House of Represematives and a flag that was flown over the nation's Capitol Building Sept. 11, 2002. "I had no idea what was going on. It was just unbelievable," Steve says. "This is an honor that I will hold close to my heart forever. I can't wait to get it displayed!"

He also received a framed letter from someone who shares his Catholic faith - Bishop Carl Mengeling. (Steve's mom, Linda Ciaffone, works for the Diocese of Rockville Centre, New

York.) And the Davios â&#x20AC;˘ and Hillmans treated the self-avowed "hockey fan" to a Detroit Red Wings game. In fact, playing hockey is how Steve had broken his ankle just days prior to his visit.

"For four days, they honored me, my wife and my daughter," Steve says. "It was an incredible experience that I will never forget. I told Mrs. Hillman the reason that we aU get along so well is that we aU have the same heart."

'Tm just amazed by the power of God's love and how He can bring a joy and blessing out of something so tragic," Sherri explains. "Seeing the ripple effect of God's message of love, compassion and kindness. We feel like we're examples of how the nation became united (after Sept. 11). He (Steve) represents the heroes and we represent families across the nation."

"We have family in New York now," Sherri continues. "It's amazing how connected we are - and not merely by coincidence. It was just meant to be.

"We feel very blessed."

"I definitely believe that all this was meant to happen," says Steve. " ...

There's a Higher Power here doing all this; it was all set up for us to meet.

This is going to be a lifelong friendship. Its amazing what can come out of tragedy. I just Jose my words when I'm talking about all this."

Luckily, neither he nor Amanda was at a loss for words when each of them took time to simply say "thank you." J ministry

fo~us ~

C.lhollc: Schools are known for their high academic standards. They are also known for preparing students to lead Christian lives. Help your child make a difference in the world - enroll today in a Catholic school. And you don't have to be Catholic to attend. For more lnfonnallon call: (517) 342¡2482

NUMBERS Total Catholic school student enrollment in our diocese: 9,563 in elementary and middle schools

I 2,315 in secondary schools

When Kathy and Pat Urbin rose the next momi1!9 from a sleep less night: Pat voiced their fear

for the first time. "You'd better call the State Police," he said. "I don't think our girls are coming "How do you cope when your worst fears come true? How were the Urbins able to forgive?

5he woke that late September morning in 1991 with a feeling of impending doom.

Yet, like any other mother with children at 1ome, Kathy Urbin had to go on with her :lay. Pushing the fear down inside, she made Jreakfast, readied her family for church md went about the normal pattern of a :egular Sunday.

When her daughters, Michelle and Melissa, asked if they :ould go for a walk around 4 p.m., Kathy and her husband Pat aid yes. They knew the route the girls would take along thm tuiet country road. They had walked it hundreds of times as a amity. And now, at ages 16 and 14, the girls had walked it nany times by themselves.

Whether because the feeling kept rising in her gut, or because Jy Nancy Sdaert4ing I Plaatograplay by Claristine jones

she knew the girls' walking route so well, Kathy became concerned when her daughters didn't return at their expected time. She and Pat got on their bikes and rode along the route Michelle and Melissa had walked. As they rode on Without any sign of their daughters, the fear inside Kathy grew. Pedaling over a rough stretch of unpaved road their girls had walked, Kathy and Pat stopped.

The fear that had haunted her all day welled up inside and a wave of nausea swept over Kathy.

As they somehow sensed, Pat and Kathy did not see their daughters again that afternoon. When they rose the next morning from a sleepless night, Pat voiced their fear for the first time.

"You'd better call the State Police,~ he said. "I don't think our girls are coming home."

That week Kathy hardly got off the couch. She never left the house for fear she would miss a phone call from her daughters. Pat and their family members and friends searched everywhere and called everyone they knew, looking for the girls. Together, Pat and Kathy prayed ceaselessly for their daughters' safe return.

The police initially thought Michelle and Melissa had run away, but the facts of the case just didn't add up. Michelles bank account went untouched. The girls never came back for any clothes or food. They never contacted any of their friends or acquaintances.

As the time stretched on, the police consulted a sex offender database and an FBI database that tracks violent criminals across the country. Still, nothing seemed relevant.

Friends and family continued to search and even formed a committee called WAT (Where Are They). More than 400 WAT members searched the area around the Urbin horne. They hosted prayer vigils and raised money so Pat and Kathy could hire a detective to find Michelle and Melissa. Their efforts yielded nothing.

Gradually. Kathy and Pat stopped praying for their daughters' safe return. Instead they simply asked, "Please, Dear Lord, let us know where they are." â&#x20AC;˘ www.FAITHmâ&#x20AC;˘a.com

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Pat explains: 'We don't live In a paradise here. We live In an evil wortd, and we have to Jive and work to make It belief.'

Throughout the fall, winter and into spring, the Urbins waited and prayed that God would reveal their daughters' whereabouts.

The week after Memorial Day, 1992, that prayer was answered with a knock on their front door at 2:00 a.m. A Michigan State Police detective stood there in the dark telling Kathy and Pat they had a man in custody who had confessed to murdering their daughters and two other teens as well. The police were excavating a site they believed to be Michelles and Melissas grave, he told them. They would let Pat and Kathy know as soon as they learned anything more.

The killer, Leslie Allen Williams, was a convicted felon out on parole seven years early - even though he had violated four prior paroles by committing increasingly severe acts of violence.

He had been arrested on Memorial Day with another victim in the trunk of his car. The woman he abducted was minutes from death when an Oakland County Sherilf.s Deputy opened Williams' car trunk and cut the plastic tie from around her neck.

Searches of Williams' apartment revealed pictures of Michelle and Melissa Urbin along with photos of his other victims.

Around sunrise following their 2:00 a.m. visit, a police car drove into the Urbins' front yard. An officer told Kathy and Pat the police had unearthed Michelle's and Melissas bodies from the Oakwood Cemetery in nearby Fenton.

That day Kathy was watching a 1V interview of a member of the State Parole Board. The reporter asked the man why he voted to grant Williams early parole in light of his violent crimi¡ nal record. The parole board member stated unequivocally that he stood by his position and he'd do it again if faced with the same choice. Suddenly, the emotions she'd held in check for eight long months sprang to the surface. Kathy couldn't bring her girls back. but she saw in this remorseless man a way to take action to protect others from sulfering her girls' fate. She became angry, and turned her anger into action.

Kathy and Pat knew now that Michelle and Melissa were with God, and they hadn't sulfered endlessly those long months. On Monday, June 1, the sisters were remembered with an outpouring of love and community support at their funeral service. On Friday, June 6, Pat, Kathy and members of the WAT Committee hosted a press conference to demand changes in Michigans parole system.

Looking back on their crusade, Kathy and Pat smile shyly and shake their heads in disbelief. This quiet couple could never have imagined themselves as advocates before their daughters' disappearance. "We would never ... " says Kathy, her voice trailing olf as her thoughts move to her younger self. Then she looks up and smiles. "You don't know what you can do, until something like this happens to you."

With the help ofWAT, they quickly collected 20,000 signatures supporting parole system reform. By July they presented the signatures to Gov. john Engler and the Director of the State Department of Corrections. They took their cause to the public, granting interviews with newspapers, radio and 1V programs.

The legislature quickly drafted bills to abolish the existing sevenmember parole board, whose members held life-long appointments. The bills then replaced that board with 10 members S I' E C I ,\ L

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For Kathy, forgiveness became a matter of survival.

"I don't think I could live if I h.ld so much hate for Williams," she st.'ltes. "How can we NOT forgive him? The hate and anger would have eaten awo~y ;U us, and hun only us.''

appointed to staggered terms of four years.

The legislation also established new guidehnes for reviewing and granting parole including increasing minimum time served for life sentences.

On Sept. 2, 1992, the governor appeared on a 1V program to sign The Parole Systems Reform Act into law as Kathy and Pat Urbin looked on from the studio audience. In one summer they had reformed the state parole system. In one year they had evolved from very private individuals to a couple adored by the media and respected by policy-makers across the stat Spurred by the ending of two short lifetimes, they had transformed their grief into action and their action into peace.

Over the course of the next few years, the Urbins found deeper peace through another means. They forgave Leslie Allen Williams despite his unspeakably evil acts.

"Its probably hard for people who haven't gone through it to understand," Pat admitted in a May 29, 2002, anicle in the Uvingston Daily Press & Argus. "'M!'re both religious people and we've left it up to God. He'll have the final word," said Pat. For Kathy, forgiveness became a matter of survival. ~r don't think I could live if I had so much hate for Williams," she states.

"How can we NOT forgive him? The hate and anger would have eaten away at us, and hun only us."

Pat explains: "We don't live in a paradise here. We live in an evil world, and we have to live and work to make it better."

Kathy agrees. "God gave us all free will," she says. "Williams was in town. He was going to get somebody. Would that family have had the strength (to survive such a loss)?" Kathy shakes her head. "Maybe there's a greater good."

The Urbins live in the same house, work the same jobs, even wear the same hairstyles they did when their daughters disappeared. Yet their lives are profoundly different now. Kathy and Pat share a marriage strengthened and a faith deepened by the events of the past decade. They point out that, in addition to their marriage, their entire family life has become richer. "We ;'") appreciate each other more, now," Pat says. "And we understan each other better."

"We see the hand of God in all things now," Kathy adds. She remembers back to the morning their girls were found. The DEALING

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"We appreciate each other more, now," Pat says. ''We see the hand of God In all things now," Kathy adds.

({vrbins• home was filled with family and friends awaiting news.

Despite all the cars and people, two deer wandered into the Urbins' front yard and grazed peacefully on the new shoots of green grass. They calmly watched the gathering as an officer arrived to deliver the news that Michelles and Melissas bodies had been found . ~The deer came and stood at the foot of the hill and just looked at the house.~ Kathy recalls with a hint of wonder in her voice.

Similarly, Kathy and Pat credit God and some special guardian angels with their son Georges miraculous escape from death or serious injury in a severe car accident. George totaled his car but walked away unscathed, saying prayers of thanks for his sisters, whom he believes protect him every day Gods hand has guided both Kathy and Pat into roles they never would have adopted before. For example, in 1999 they spoke about forgiveness before audiences at four diocesan conferences on reconciliation. They've continued to grant interviews, from appearing on the Phil Donahue show and being featured in various newspapers and magazines, to collaborating on a book about their daughters' murders. Pat has become more outspoken and says he now "understand(s) how important it is to be informed in govemment.wHis name has regularly appeared on the "Letters to the Editor" page over the past decade. Kathy has counseled other parents who've lost their children under tragic circumstances. She listens and lets them (~now they can survive. \: One of the clearest examples of Gods hand moving through the Urbins' lives appeared on Michelles and Melissas grave two years ago. During one of their graveside visits, Pat and Kathy discovered an anonymous letter addressed to "Michelle, Melissa and Your Parents." A young woman wrote that she was l3 at the time the Urbin girls disappeared. Back then she was failing in school, had a drug habit and very little hope for the future. She wrote that Michelles and Me\issas deaths had inspired her to take control of her life. She kicked her drug habit, reapplied herself at school and even went on to earn straight Ns in college. Now she works in the medical field and leads a happy, productive life.

As they talk about this stranger, both Kathys and Pats faces shine with wonder and delight. 'Tm so proud of our girls," says Kathy "They might never have affected so many others if they had lived."

The sense of doom Kathy felt that fateful morning a decade ago has been washed away Now, as she and Pat look back on a\1 the good their daughters have inspired, their eyes shine with very different emotions. Their gentle, quiet faces glow with a sense of peace and purpose and the absolute knowledge that a greater good can come from unspeakable Joss.

Catholic Social Services Professional Counseling prief can get the best of us. If you or someone you know is in .\ •eed of counseling, consider talking to your parish priest or contact the Catholic Social Service Agency in your area for one-onone counseling. Fees are flexible and religious affiliation is not a factor. For more Info, call Bob Smith at (517) 342-2562.

don't underestiinate feelings of grief fromfosses at work

woddife

W

e go through a moumlng process at the times In our IIvas when we experience grief and sorrow over a loss of some kind, typically that of a loved one. But if~ stop and think for a moment, there are many olher times in our lives when we encounter losses.

For example, throughout our work lives we all have experienced disappoint· ments such as being overlooked for a promotion Of a new job, Of, worse yd. losing a job. When we lose a loved one, we are expected to mourn; people go out of their way to support us, and we tum to God for slrength.

Conversely, losses at work ara not considered as traumatic and we are expected to just "suck It up" and move on. But over time these losses begin to slowly chip away at our psyche and self-esteem. We receive rlltle, if any, support, and we think we can take case of it ourselves rather than asking God for help. We believe our happiness lies in just trying harder to achieve better paying, more pa.wrful pasilions.

To begin to counteract these tendencies, business leaders need to mora deeply examine their motivations when making decisions that affect people: 1 Is this decision really the best for everyone concerned? Or am I allaMng pen10nalities and the "bottom-line" to cloud my judgment?

2 I know my business has a purpose to serve lffi~~!,7 Am I allowing God to guide us or am I more wocemed about profit?

3 How can I support employees when I have to make those legitimate, tough dedsion! that affect their lives?

Employees need to examine the reason for lhelr grief at the Ume of a lost promoUon, opportunity, or job: 1 Was I treated Lnjustly? Or am I simply upset because my ego took a hit, and I'm not going to

make more money like I'd hoped?

2 I know God has a pupose for me. Am I trusting God's guidance in my career; Of am I seeking happiness through my paycheck and position?

A dynamic of the moumlng process Is the we all have feeling that we may never be happy again. experienced disThen when hear Christ say, "Blessed are those appoinunents who mourn, for they shall be comforted~ (Matthew such as being 5:3· 12) Some may think that we must suffer on overlooked for a earth in order to be happy in heaven. But, the promotion or a Church also teaches us that we have a natural desire for happiness and that God has placed it in new job, or. worse our hearts. (CCC 1718) I propose that what this yet, losing a job. beatitude means is that if we address our loss through God's wisdom, rather than that of this world, we will be comforted now, and experience satisfaction in our work and a taste of eternal joy here on earth.

- Tim Ryan is an infonnation technology professional in Fowlerville and has earned a master's degree in pastoral studies from Loyola University New Orleans. He is a member of St. Joseph Parish, Gaines

Encou111ge someone to consider full·llme ministry In the Church. Click Formation on DloceseofLanslng.org

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Positive thinkers with healthy, happy lives hardly ever think bad things will happen to them. Sandy and Mike Puro of Grand Blanc certainly didn't. They never doubted they would have a second healthy child. In fact, Sandys first pregnancy was so easy, she felt sorry for other expectant women who complained of discomfort. But the couples good fortune was to change.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Three months along, Sandys doctor told her he could not confirm a viable pregnancy. Ultrasounds showed no baby at all, and the doctor wasn't sure of a pregnancy or a miscaniage. After three agonizing weeks of doctor visits and blood tests, the couple learned they had lost their baby. What they didn't expect was the distresstng effect the loss would have on their lives.

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Sandy, who had never been ill before, was an optimist: wl wem into (the hospital) thinking l was going right back to work. But l had to call and say I'd be gone for three weeks.

As a teacher, thats a big stress. l didn't have things prepared."

Sandy admits she was down physically and emotionally. She had a severe case of endometriosis, which is like relentless menstrual pain. And hormonal changes played tricks with her emotions.

M Onee I lost the baby. l prayed for peace and strength," Sandy says. Mike admits, "We didn't share the loss with too many people. We had a lot of support from our friends at church and the immediate family. Meanwhile, 1just tried to stay positive and to be there for Sandy.'"

The Puros are members of St. john the Evangelist Catholic Church, Davison, where Mike sings baritone in the choir and Sandy helps the choir director with the children$ choir. ln their spare time, they love to sing together.

Mamed nine years ago at St. john Catholic Church in Hartland, they met at a choir atmp in the Davison/ Goodrich area. wNeither one of us was looking for anyone at the time," says Mike. 'We just hit it olf." Sandy, 31, is a first-grade teacher for Aint Community Schools. Mike, 42, is an estimator for Skaff Carpet and Furniture, a l0a1l family-owned business.

Following the loss of the baby, Sandy reatlls: WAt our church they bring in unwrapped baby items for the poor. They would bring in diapers and other things, and 1remember bawling and bawling and bawling. How l needed to get through it!" Sandy acknowledges there were strong feelings of anger and guUt. "You see other people with babies. Some are unwed mothers. You feel like everyone around you is pregnant. There is such a mix of emotions."

Her doctor encouraged the couple to try again very soon to have a baby. They succeeded. As Sandy recalls, "The pregnancy was not a good time. l was so nervous and afraid. At first, they thought there was a twin. Then l was bleeding and taken to the emergency room. There, they told us 1 probably didn't have a viable pregnancy, AGAIN!" just recalling this, Sandys voice rises. "On Monday, the doctors nurse said the '*. same thing." Mike continues the story: won Tuesday, they • scheduled an ultrasound. And lo and behold, there was a DEALING

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L heanbeat! less than nine months later, there was Andrew!"

The couples second child, Andrew Stanley. is 2 years old. His older brother, Michael, is 7. According to the Puros, the two kids enjoy ~hanging out on the couch" with them and going on family outings.

During the two years since the binh of Andrew, the couple shares a different perspective on their children. "We took Michael for granted a little,~ Mike says. ~I don't think 1cherished him as much as I did Andrew. Now, we stop and appreciate them for how special they are. You don't realize how shon the time is between being a tiny infant and being a toddler. They are such gifts."

Sandy and Mike have strong roots in the Catholic faith. But Sandy admits to some rebellion in her teen years. "1 refused to be confirmed and to go to (religion) classes. When 1got older and was planning my wedding, I realized that I needed that Catholic foundation. I was " very grateful to my parents for having prayed for me. Today. the :hurch is a very imponant pan of our family life," she says. .,. Mike was born in Oregon, lived in New York, and settled in Michigan - the roots of his parents- in 1966. "I grew up in the Catholic Church. I went to Catholic grade school and the first pan of high school. My mom and dad were active. My mom played music for the church and my dad sang in the choir. Because of his influence, 1joined the choir at school and joined the church choir after 1gradu· ated." The couple expresses a fondness for Fr. Andy Czajkowski, pastor of St. john the Evangelist in Davison, and for a church community that is "large, warm, friendly and great for families."

This very positive couple, who lost one child but gained anoth· er, has some encouraging words of advice to other couples strug· gling with the pain of losing a baby. Sandy says, ~Remember, you are not alone. People understand the emotions and the grieving.

And it is a grieving process to lose a child, no mauer how far along you were."

Mike adds: "As hard as it is, just try to be positive. You have to be patient with nature. Sometimes, its a struggle to be positive. But if you deal with what you are given, the positive will come, as it did in our case in the form of Andrew."

Have you or has someone you know had a mlscaniage?

There Is help: 1 Talk to you parish priest. Many parishes have listening or BeFriender Ministry (See Pg. 23) 2 Support groups ·9specially for miscaniage are available at some local hospitals.

3 CathoDe Social Service Agendas offer grief counseling.

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FAITHhelps Is e free online Ieeming compenlon to FAITH. Only on FAfl'Kmii9<COftl

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ooking into a• March dawn, \•search evidence of life: Beneath the earth, daffodils and tulips must be growing toward the r19ht. But to my eye, all is barren. The landscape captures Lent, the season that early Christians poignantly called "the days during which the Bridegroom was taken away~ How can we bear these days? Can new rife be momentarily hidden, but close at hand? Will we see the world with vivid colors again? Or will it remain a scene painted in grayscale, a flat copy Grief and of its fonner self? mourning aren't "H's more than ftesh and blood can bea(.' inte~geable.

It is an old saying, one from my Grandma's Grief is our heart as she buried her son. And ye~ despite psychological the hollow feeling inside, her life went on. The response to the bereaved live on with restless nights and numb loss whereas days. Physical symptoms, such as headaches mourning is the and dizziness, increase. Poor appet~es and display of grief. sleep deprivation affect the health. Hearts are Mbroken" over and over: the deceased's favorite food is automatically tossed into the shopping cart; a number is dialed for a call that cannot be completed. Where in this state of bewildennent and anguish is the blessing?

Blessed are they who moum, for they shall be comforted.

This beatitude can be explored on two levels, within the framework of our everyday human experience and within the framework of our lives as sons and daughters of a loving God. Grief and mourning aren't interchangeable. Grief is our psychological response to the loss whereas mourning is the display of grief. Mourning occurs in relationships; it is a social behavior. The funeral Mass acknowl· edges that our loved one's life on earth has ended, and that the bereaved need the support of community.

The death of Laza111s. The story of Lazarus is familiar, but there is a verse that often goes unnoticed: "... when the Jews who were with her in the house comforting her saw Mary get up quickly and go out, they followed her, presuming that she was going to the tomb to weep there~ !John 11 :31) Mary believed in Jesus' teachings and yet she stHI needed comfort to bear her loss. Her friends were receptive to her needs, following her to weep beside her.

"When will you comfort me? I am like a wineskin shriv· eled by smoke - " (Psalm 119:83) God's comfort occurs in relationship, too. Prayer is conversation with God, a time of talking about how we truly feel and then listening for God's insights.

Sometimes we are angry at God, and that is an honest emotion to express in prayer.

The death of those we love brings anguish, even though we are strongly rooted in our faith. Allow others to give comfort, and look toward the promise of new life.

- Dr. Cathleen McGn::d is a professor of psychology a t Michigan Stale University and a cc:nified spiritual director.

Maor/1 200J

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FAITH M;ga:in~

Dear God and Fatlu:r, help me now to have a greater ~ love for Jesus, a greater hope In WJ my own salvation and tlwt of otiJ¡ ers, a greater sorrow for nay sins, and a greater desire to comfort those wlw nwum by meditating on the sorrows of Mary, the Blessed Motltcr.

SEVEN SORROWS OF THE VIRGIN MARY 1 The Prophecy of Simeon: Read Luke 2:34-35. Pray: Mary, you watched with happiness and amazement as Simeon held your Son and prophesied - but you wet'9 touched with sorrow when told that Jesus would be a sign of contradiction that would be opposed. and you yourself would be piert:ed with a sword. Help me, Mother, to learn to aa:ept the unexpected 80fTO'MI in life and to surrender them all in faith to God. Our Father; Hail Mary; Glory Be. 2 The Flight Into Egypt:

what can we learn about coping with sorrow from the mother ofjesus am not sure there Is any kind of grlef qulle Ike the grlef of. mother who has to watch one of her children die.

A number of years ago, a mother was called into the hospital because her son was hit with a stray bullet. He was in the wrong

place at the wrong ume. Some gangs were shooting each other over money and drugs.. When she arrived at the hospi!lll, there was nothing more the doctors could do. The mother just held her son in her arms. The pain \'IllS so

deep. With great tears and sobs she cried out loudly, "My dear son, my dear son: He died in a shan while. The mothers sorrow was so great it seemed as though she herself would die along with her son. I am sure she would h:we died in his place if God had let her. But that was not his plan for her, or her son During lent, we journey with jesus to the cross. If we have enough courage to walk with jesus on this journey, we will find Mary, HIS mother there. One of the most amazing images tn Scripture is Mary S!llnding by the cross of her Son, watching Him die. Who can truly imagine this sorrow other than a mother who herself has lost a child. Mary bore her sorrow all through her life. It is good for us to contemplate the grief of Mary so that we will have more sorrow for our sins. for that is what put jesus on the cross to begin with. It is also good to med-

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itate on her sorrow because Marys was not a destructive sorrow, but one that Jed her to even greater Jove and hope. Sometimes our grief can be destructive when \Ye forget the power of the love of God and the resurrection ofjesus.

Our mourning and sorro\Y, while it is a pan of our human life, must not put us in the grave, but allow us to help others during their time of darkness and grid to come out of their graves.

For our spiritual fitnesS this month, let us walk with Mary and meditate on her sorrows.

Tmditionally Catholics have meditated on the Seven Sorrows of Mary This pmctice has a long history that became especially popularized after the 13th century St Bridget ofS\veden (1302-1373) encouraged this devotion For this meditation, you will need your Bible (unless you know the passages already!) Find a quiet place and pray: PE I\ L I

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Read Mallhew 2:13-14. Pray: Mary, your heart was aushed when you heard that Herod was looking to deslrt:tj Jesus, your Son. You had to~ leave your home and go into a strange land far from your family and friends and support. The news of innocent children being slaughtered broke your heart You joined the many mothers ....00 aied out to God in grief. Be with those who have lost chadren and help them to continue their journey rJ life with God. Our Father; Hall Mary; Glory Be. 3 The Loss of the Child Jesus In the Temple: Read

Luke 2:43-45. Pray: Mary, your heart was filled with sorrow and anxiety as you looked for Jesus ..wtlout finding Him for three days.

Pemaps you felt you had failed Him. You wet'9 wonied about _,.â&#x20AC;˘..._.'..I might have happened to Him. Mary, please help aH parenL11 who constantly worry about their sons LO !i~

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rcrime, or who have lost their tith. Help them in their grief to :rve hope that, like Jesus, they, 10, ..WI be found. Our Falher; Hail lary; Gloty Be. The Meeting of Jesus and lary on the Way of the Cross: ~ Luke 23:27-31. Pray: lary, you knew the hour had orne. What 80ITOW and dismay led you as you setN your Son ealen, bloodied, bruised and

umiliated as He made His way lfOUQh the aowd carrying His ross. You 'M!fe nol going to leave lim. You would walk wilh Him on lis road, knowing it was the 'ather's IMII. Mary, help us be with lO!I8 who are auffering and dying. ~ay we not tum rNI8Y from them 1 their hour of greatest need. Our 8ther; Hail Mary; Gby Be. l lhe Oudlbdon: Read John 9:17-37. ~Mary, you slood by '18 aces d your Son. Agreat wmj ci 80n"ON piera!d your heart. he words d Simeon !hal you had eard long ago had come to pass. bu remained slandng by the aces I your Son, bingrlg Hm v.t18l omfcrt and slrenglh !hal you add. bur heart in IIOiro'N 1hanl<ed God our Falher b' aloMng you lo be -.e mcAher d so wonderlul a Son. bu ~ b praect Him from f'l8 I'Oids d h!lle and nMemri that ee being cmt at tfm You warwed ) pul the nais oot of lfB hands and !lei and oomfcrt tfm in your llrT1'\9 rs you dd v.tlen He was a bal7j. ~you knew the hotr had come.

-lev.ask>giw!4'Hisie80thatal night ive in God. You IKXEJ*9d H'l9 ~words b you, "Woman, behdd 'Olr son.• He dd this 1o AM!8I b w your mission as Molher of al hose who beiaYe in Him Mary, lelp lhose who oomfcrt !he d}ring

\\ilh fler p-esence, ~par­ ents who are Wlh a son or duj1ler who is cty;ng. Give !hem the slrenglh !hey need b help the djing 1o be born ereN inlo e4emal ie. Our Falher; Hai Mary; Glay Be. 8 Jesus' Body Is 18ken Down from the Cross: Read John 19:38-40. Pray: Mary, with great love you held the body of your Son. Has there ever been any sorrow like yours? Mary, our sins put your Son on the cross, and because of it, our sins have caused you 80 much pain. Please accept our contrition. Mary, PnlY that we may be able to be with you as you held the lifeless body of Jesus, 80 we Will know the great price and cost of our own redemption, and give our heans completely to God. Our Father; Hail Mary; Gloty Be.

7 1he Burial of Jesus: Read John 19:41-42. Pmy: Mary, you helped wrap the body of Jesus and with tenderness you were with those who laid His body in the 1omb. You did 80, not without hope, for just as God the Father gave Jesus to you miraculously, you also believed in the 'NOids of your Son, that He would rise again. Help all those who moum and are in grief from the death of a lcM!d one. Pray that they have a slrong faith and hope in the promises of Almighty God. Pray that their sorrow may not lead them to clestrudion, but to a deeper insight into the height and depth and width of God's love for us, and the hope we have in the resurrection.

Our lives, like our lad's, Will end with the emp1y tomb, for His love is far stronger than death. Our Father; Hail Mary; Gby Be. - Fr. Bill Ashbaugh is pastor or St. joseph Parish, Howell

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comforted. Think back to the last time you moumed. It

might have been because of the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, the loss of a job, or some other sort of loss. What did you desire most during that time of moummg?

If you're like many people, you probably wanted someone to comfort you. But more than that, you wanted someone who would simply listen to you, w!lhout JUdgment and without preconceived notions about how you ~shouldM be feeling and what you "should" be domg. Today, throughout the Diocese of Lansing. there are hundreds of tmined parish volunteers doing exactly that. They are called BcFrienders.

The BeFrtender ministry was started In 1981

at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn., and has spread across the globe, including our diocese. The BcFriender ministry is one of active listening - not a counseling progmm and not a program of running emnds. BcFriender and Stephen ministries We give you the center on listening and companionship on a journey chance to talk "As BeFrtenders, we don't try and fix problems," about your reelsays Judy Scharf, diocesan coordinator for the ings, the chance BeFriender and Stephen ministries. "We're objective listeners. We give you the chance to talk about your to sort out your feelings. the chance to son out your thoughts withthoughts without out judgment. BcFrienders help people to explore judgment. their feelings during a time of loss without the preconceived notions that friends and family may have about the situation."

Scharf knows the relief of having someone who will listen without Judging or offering unsolicited advice. "A few years ago. my mother was living \vith us and was not doing well. During that last year and for a while after her death, we worked with a volumeer minister offered by a similar progmm through her Luthemn church," Scharf explains. "It was refreshing to be able to say what was on my mind without being told 'you shouldn't feel that way about your mother.' It inspired me to look for a volunteer position in respite or hospice ministry after her death."

The BeFriender ministry offers strong tmining and support. All BcFriender ministers receive 35 hours of specialized tmining before being assigned to their first BcFriendee. Ministers also receive an additional five hours of continuing education and rcncction each month.

BcFriender ministers work as an extension of their parishs pastoral care team under the supervision of a BeFriender coordinator.

"We don't take over pastoml care from the pastor and parish staff," says Scharf. "We're an extension of them. In many parishes, the demands on the pastor and professional staffs time are already far too great."

The BeFrtender ministry Is confidential. ·we have the same restrictions on confidentiality with our BeFriendees as they would have during a conversation with their priest," says Scharf.

If you're dealing with a loss or transition In your life and would like to be connected with a BcFriender or Stephen minister, contact your parish office. If your parish does not have a BcFriender program, the staff can put you in touch with a parish that docs. If you feel that God might be calling you to help others through active, nonjudgmental listening. contact your parish BeFriender/Stephen coordinator. For funher infonnation: Call Judy Scharf at (810) 229-8624 or (248) 889-0274.

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sunday

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March2

Eighth Sunday in OnfiiUD)' nrnt Hoaee 2:16b, 17b, 21-22 PBam 103:1-4, 8, 10, 12-13 2 Corinlhillns 3 :1b-6 Marl< 2:18-22 March9

First Sunday of Lent Genaais 9:8-15 Paalm 25:4-9 1 Peler3:18-22 Marte 1:12-15

Marc:h 18 Second Sunday ofl.cnt Geneeis 22:1-2,9&, 10.13, 15-18 Paalm 116:10, 15-19 Romans 8:31 b-34 Marl< 9:2-10 March23

Third Sunday of l.cnt &odLe 20: 1-17 or 20:1-3,7-8, 12-17

Paalm 19:8-11 1 Corinthians 1:22-25 Jom2:13-25 Marc:h30

Fourth Sunday ofLent 2Chronicles36:14-16, 19·23 Paam 137:1-6 Fphelire 2:4-10 JoM3:14-21

things to do Speaker Alex Jones will highlight the annual Lent Event at Sl Thomas the Apostle Parish, Ann Arbor. After 25 years of Pentecostal ministry, Alex Jones became Catholic on Easter, 2001 , along with his wife and over 60 members of his Detroit congrega· tion. He is now studying at

Sacred Heart seminary, writ· ing a book and speaking. Join us Saturday, March 8, at 7 p.m. in the parish hall. For more information, call the office at (734) 761·8606.

BuDding Bridges, a two-day remarriage seminar, will be held March 8-9, at the Maryville Center, Holly. The seminar is for couples preparing for marriage where one or both of the spouses have been previously married. The retreat starts at 8:30a.m. Saturday and ends 1 p.m. Sunday. For more information, call the Diocese of Lansing Family Ministry Office at (517) 342-2471 .

The Ufe In the Spirit Seminar will be held at Mt. Zion Pastoral Center; Aushing, on the six Mondays of Len~ March 10 - April 14, from 7·9 p.m. The speakers include Fr. Dave Havron, OFM, Fr. Joseph Krupp, Fr. Geoffrey Rose, OSFS, Mr. Steve Anderson, and Fr. Dennis Howard. High school students and older are weicome - including parents, youth ministers and adults.

The cost is $1 0 and includes a Scripture booklet/journal.

For more information, please call (81 0) 639-7175.

St. Francis of Assisi, Ann Arbor; hosts a support group for bereaved persons on the second Wednesday of each month.

Each meeting consists of prayer and faith sharing, telling "our stories," learning about the grief process, sharing ideas for coping and offering encouragement.

Participants have discovered

that the spiritual perspective of our faith provides a much more complete dimension to the healing process than a secular support group. The group is facilitated by Charline List and Janene Ternes. For more information, call Charline List at (734) 821-2125.

Is priesthood for you? Come visit Emmaus House twice a month. Consider joining a group of young men (18-35) who have come together because they sense God may be calling them. Meetings are held at the Emmaus House, located across from Sl John Student Parish. Meeting dates for 2003 are Thursdays, March 13 and 27, April 10 and 24. The evening consists of dinner; prayer and open discussions with a different guest priest each week. For information call the Emmaus House at (517) 351-1543 or call Fr. Matthew Fedewa at the Office of Formation (517) 342·2509.

There will be a Lenten Day of Recolledion for the Deaf at the De Sales Center, Brooklyn, on Saturday, March 15 from 10 am.-5 p.m. Fr. Mike Depcik will lead this special day which wil focus on the lord's Passion. The cost is $1 0 and covers lunch. For more information, please contad Rose Smith at the Office of Deaf Ministry, (517) 3422532, or Fr. Michael Depcik at (51 7) 592·2389 TTY. Rekindle Your Marriage: Putting the Passion Back Into Your Relationship is scheduled for March 15, 2003, from

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9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the Diocesan Center, Lansing. The renowned author of Before I Do and family therapist Anthony Garascia will be the presen· ter. The cost is $20 per couple and includes lunch.

For more information contact the Diocese of Lansing Family Ministry Office at (517) 342-2458.

Theology on Tap will return to Lansing for a Lenten series on Tuesdays in March and April. Sessions will take place at Tripper's Sports Bar in Frandor and begin at 7 p.m.

• "TJte Lord of dte Rings" presented by Fr. David Hudgins, March 18 • "The Annunciation" presented by Fr. Jerry Vincke, March 25 • "Men, Women and ReJationsJtips" presented by Jeanne Monahan, April 1 • "ResponsibJe Christian Citizenship" presented by Fr. lim MacDonald, April 8 Admission is free. All young adults, manied and single, ages 18-40, are especially invited. Contact Angela Fowler at (517) 342-2494 for more information.

The Pious Union of St Joseph, Grass Lake will hold festivities In honor of the Solemnity of St. Joseph, patron of the suffering and dying. On Tuesday, March 18, a vigil in honor of St. Joseph will begin with Mass at 8:30a.m., followed by eucharistic adoration and an afternoon talk about Jesus and healing ministries. On ~ Wednesday, March 19, our celebration will begin at

CorT&ction: In our January/February 2003 issue we erroneously published that Andrew Jackson was our third president He was our nation's seventh.

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community

~ 11 :30 a.m. with Mass, including the anointing of the sick. The Utany of St. Joseph will be prayed after the 7 p.m. Mass, followed by "St. Joseph's Table" - a potluck dinner to which the sick, poor and elderly are especially invited.

Participants are asked to bring bread and pastries to be donated to a local shelter, and donations will be collected for a local hospice. For information, contact the Pious Union of St. Joseph at (517) 522-8017.

St. John Student Parish, East Lansing invites you to an evening of music and prayer centered on the Passion of the Lord beginning at 7:OOp.m. on Jnursday, March 2 7. For 'more information, call Uz Schweitzer at (517) 3379778, Ext. 22.

A three-part discussion on "Catholic Faith and Issues of Death and Dying" will be held at St. Thomas the Apostle Parish, Ann Arbor, Thursday, April 3, 7-9 p.m.

Questions and answers will follow. Topics will include: • "Faitlt Response to Death and Dying'' presented by Fr. Roger Prokop

• "Integrating Catltolic Teaching and Personal Values" presented by Teri Turner

• "Tfae Order of Catftolic Funerals" presented by Doreen Murphy For more information, con· tact Doreen Murphy at ~734) 761 ·8606, Ext. 209.

Spring Day, "Into the Light," sponsored by

Lansing Diocese Council of Catholic Women, will be held April 5 at Christ the King Parish, Aint. Speakers will be Bishop Mengeling and R~a Thiron. The cost is $1 0, which includes conti· nental breakfast and lunch.

Send your reservation to Nancy Babin, 109 Hartwell Terrace, Mason, Ml 48854.

The Diocesan Tribunal and the Office of Family Ministry are sponsoring an annulment workshop on Saturday, April 5, 8:30 am.

• 1:45 p.m. at St. James Parish in Mason. The workshop is intended for anyone who is thinking about submit· ling a case to the Tribunal.

Eileen Jaramillo, JCL, a Tribunal Judge, will speak on marriage as a covenant, invalid marriages, and misin· formation about annulments.

A second presentation will discuss the specifics of presenting a case. Group dis· cussion, question-answer sessions, lunch, and a prayer service will round out the day.

For more information, call Unda Kolanowski (51 7) 342·2465 or Barb White (517) 589-8487.

The state-wide high school and young aduk rally - Faith Explosion 2003: "Let the Ught of Christ Burst Forth"- wiU be held April 26 at the Lansing Center.

Bishops from throughout the state will attend. High school teens and young adults who have graduated from high school are welcome. "Who Do You Say That I Am" and Chris Padgett, lead singer of Scarecrow & 1inman, are featured keynotes.

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new smctuary

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Mengeling presided over the dedication of the newly renovated sanctuary of SS. Charles and Helena Catholic Church, Clio.

During the dedication Mass, the altar and the walls of the church were anointed as the bishop prayed that the new worship space would assist all in their faith growth and in love of God and one another.

"I share your joy and join in praising and thanking God on this happy occasion," he said.

The extensive $3.5 miNion renovation and construction began in September 2001 , when six new dassrooms were added to the parish center to provide space for church programs.

According to the pastor, Fr. Gerald Ploof, it became clear after the add~n that the present church needed renovation to accommodate more than 800 families registered at the parish.

The new sanctuary has been enlarged from 600 seats to 800, while oak pews in a semicircle face a skylight luminating the oak altar. The church portion of the renovation cost $2 milr~on and included 8,598 ~feet of remodeled space and 7,519 square-feet of new space. - Erin Oakley, The Catholic nmes C8lhollc schools calebralon: making a WOitd of

•:arence

•••••••••••••••••••••• Students from all comem of the diocese came for the annual All Schools Mass. "Catholic Schools: Making a World of Difference" was the theme for the 29th annual celebration of Catholic Schools Week, which ran from Sunday, Jan. 26

through Feb. 1.

Bishop Carl F. Mengeling welcomed a representative from each of the diocese's more than 40 Catholic schools. He said, "To see all of you fills my heart with joy and happiness~ - Erin Oakley, The Catholic Times

an update on how our diocese has responded to the sexual abuse crisis in the Church

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he revelations of this past year have no doubt placed in your mind an image of an innocent child being sexually abused by someone in the Church. As unnerving and upsetting as this is to think about, you and 1can only imagine the horror felt by the victims. There is so much about this that pains me, grieves me - and by the gmce of God - motiwtes me.

A year ago, 1sent a letter to you and every home explaining our policy against abuse and assuring you that no one that we know of who has ever abused a child is actively working in the diocese. That is still true. last June, 1joined the bishops of the United States in Dallas and wholeheanedly voted for reforms that many of you called for. Almost a year has past.

What follows Is my personal report to you on how our diocese: 1 has responded to the crisis 2 has continued to care for victims 3 has been economically impacted and 4 is taking further action to prevent future abuse.

As we move forward, I ask for your continued prayers for victims. May you and they know how sorry 1am that this happened and may this rcpon give you confidence that our diocese is responding in the spirit of our lord Jesus with truth and love.

.L(2~ ?. a..~l· ·~ + Most Rev. Carl F. Mengcling, Bishop of Lansing

1 How has our diocese responded to the abuse crisis over the past year?

• Sexual Abuse/Misc:onduct Polk:les and Proc:eduras

Committee: This group reviewed our diocesan sexual misconduct policy of 2000 ensuring that it complied with or exceeded the new guidelines approved by the U.S. Bishops and the Vatican.

• Tough Polley: Otr diocese has a policy against al forms of sexual misconduct - especialy the abuse of minora. Our sexual abuse policy is available. Can (517) 342·2475.

• Review Board: A board is now in place to review any

•

allegations of sexual abuse and make recommendations to the bishop based on our policy. The board consists of: Michael Behan, Chair Narej St. Martha, Okemos Carol Beauchamp OlidlhenlpiS St. Pius X, Flint Samud Dismond,jr. Medical Dodcr St. john Vianney, Flint Msgr. Richard Groshek VICBI"General St. Pius X, Flint j . Michael Guenther Narej Christ the King, Ann Arbor Diocesan Tribunal Eileen Jaramillo Mark Murray St. Mary, Adrian Mark Smith Queen of the Miraculous Meda~]achson

• Cooperation wllh Law Enforcement: Our diocese has a

poicy d providng cotrty prosecutcn1 v.1th a victin's 'Millen complaint of sexual abuse against any living pemon associated with the diocese.

• Dialogue with Parishioners: In each of our six regions, a meeting was held to pray for healing and dialogue about the reality and effects of abuse. Many parishes also had meetings to address needs and concerns.

• Utendure was Distributed: 1 our sexual misconduct po~cy 2 state law on abuse 3 a brochure titled, When Someone is Hurt by the Chun:h. You can obtain copies by calling (517) 342-2475. FAITH Magazine also published articles.

2 How Is our diocese caring for victims?

• Pastoral care: We have met with victims and their famies, expressed sorrow for YAlat happened and offered pastoral care and counseling to the victims and their families.

• Professional Help: We continue to provide professional psychological counseling for the victims and their families.

• Special Programs: Several Catholic Social Service Agencies in Otr diocese offer special programs for victims.

• Spiritual care: A special retreat is being offered to inspire and encourage spiritual healing for those sexually abused by someone in the Churdl. (see sidebar below: a time to heal).

• Open Door Polley: All victims are encouraged to come forward. Ccnact the Diocese of lansing at (517) 342-2450.

A Time to Heal: spiritual healing for vldlms sexually abused by someone In the Church

••••••••••••••••••••• The Diocese of lansing's ongoing response to sexu~ abuse of youth by priests or other Church pen10nnel winnow indude a retreat this summer to help victims move toward spiritual healing

from the long-term lnlumatic

effects of abuse.

In many csaes, this type of abuse has not only left victims emotionally and psychologically wounded bwspnru~lyrob~ ;a: .e . ~rp

loal Psychological . . • remains part of the Church s e to provide healing. The goal of this relreat is to help victims move toward spiritual healing by:

local news

special progn!SS ret*~ from the bishop

3 What has been the economic lmpac:t on our diocese?

• Financial Cost: Going back as early as records allow - from July 1, 1988 to Dec. 31, 2002 - the financial cost of sexual abuse of children by anyone associated with the Diocese of Lansing has been: Legal Settlements Counseling/Therapy

$340,000 156,022 Sustenance/Suppon 192,303 Medical Expenses 7,439 3,530 Other Total Expenses $699,293 Reimbursements from Insurance $443,456 Net Cost $255,837 This remaining amount was paid for by interest generated from the dioceses investmem fund for unexpected eventualities.

• No parish funds: Parish funds have not been nor will be used for costs related to abuse.

• No DSA (Diocesan Services AppeaO funds: OSA funds have not been nor wil be used for costs related to abuse.

• Other Dioceses: Neither DSA nor parish funds are ever diverted to help pay abuse costs in other dioceses.

J• What

Is our diocese doing to prevent future abuse?

• Repor1 Abuse: ~ Church peniOOflel are required to contact immediately the Family Independence flqMlcy when abuse of a minor is reported or d'ISCOVered. They are also instructed to notify the Diocese of lansing at (51 7) 342-2450.

• Criminal Background Checks: AI new clergy, Church pen50n09I and significant volunteers are required to undergo

criminal background checks.

• Candidates for Priesthood: An extensive screening process which includes a aiminal background check and a battery of psychological exams is required before candidates are admilted to the seminary, where at least w years d formation and evaluation take place before ordination.

• EducaUon of all Church Personnel: We have required all

clergy, Church personnel and significant volunteers to sign that they have reviewed our sexual misconduct policy. Videos and/or olher i-lormalion on sexual abuse are also provided

mring feelings about the

!Teets or abuse :lmowledging the suffering 2ming about the power of nger - · loping coping skills g the victim find hope iscovering the healing power fprayer retreat will be led by Patricia ~arlin,

MSW, ACSW, a dinical

social worker, and Fr. Larry Delaney, drector of St. Francis Retreat Center. According to Martin, "The goal is to help victims move toward greater peace and a happier life - not to defend the Church or make excuses for the hann done~ To learn more contact: Patricia M. Martin or ~ Larry Delaney at St Fnlnc:ls ReiNet Cenler: (886) 66&8321

Local pro-IHers moum 30 years of abortion ••••••••••••••••••••• Events were held throughout the Diocese of lansing to convnemorate the 30th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to legalize abortion. Among them was a lillllllllliiiillli pro-life motorcade through the streets of Lansing Jan. 22, cosponsored by the Office of Diocesan Cemeteries and the Lansing chapter of Right to Ufe. An interdenominational prayer service at Sl Joseph Catholic Cemetery and a wreath laying ceremony at the nearby Rachel Memorial followed the event

Lansing area Christians gather to pray for unity • •••••••••••••••••••• In celebration of the annual Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, an ecumenical service was held Sunday, Jan. 19, at Central

United Methodist Church, Lansing. Several local Christian leaders, including Bishop Carl F. Mengellng and Fr. William Lugger, pastor of St. Casimir Church, Lansing, participated.

MOne Lord, One Faith, One Baptism" was this year's theme.

I

OperaUon Rice Bowl: Feeding the Hungry Loc:ally and Abroad Catholic Relief Services' Lenten program coHects funds from parishioners to help the hungry at home and overseas. 75% of ORB funds collected go overseas while 25% helps the local hungry and supports international solidarity efforts conducted by people from the diocesan geographical area. The 2002 recipients of Operation Rice Bowl Grants are: • • • •

St. joseph Parish, Howell'- reUef trip to Belize Xicano Center- Gommunity Agricultural Project Giving Tree Farm Holy Spirit Parish/St. Vincent de Paul, Hamburg- food assistance pro~ • Daily Bread of Lenawee • St Luke Catholic Church Street Ministry, Flint ~'~ • St. joseph Shrine, Brooklyn - Bujuni Partnership • Taste or F.n:edom- the Global Workshop • Oasis Caft - Hope Medical Clinic • St. Mary Student Parish, Ann Arbor - student intern • Refugee Services • livingston County CathoUc Soda] Services • Gaines Community Council- Ghristmas baskets • Holy Trinity Student Parish and ~ti Hunger Coalition • Guatemala Work Project

foNnore lnfonnaUon, c.il a.b Potht (517) 342·2470.

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the world

Braving record cold, thousands heed cardinal's call to support life

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call not to "sit on the sidelines and simply allow others to dldate the future of our society," thousands of

Catholic pro-lifers joined those of other faiths in the March for Life jan. 22, marking the 30th anniversary of the Supreme Court decisions legalizing abortion.

President Bush saluted the marchers in a telephone call from St. louis, noting that temperatures in Washington had barely reached above the teens.

The night before, some 7,000 people joined Cardinal Anthony].

Bevilacqua of Philadelphia for Mass during the National

........

Prayer Vigil for Life at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington.

Recalling Pope Paul VI's 1965 call to the United Nations - "War no more; war never again"- and Pope john Paul ll's declaration to the same body in 1995 that wabortion is war on the unborn child,~ the cardinal said, "We reiterate the goal for which we will never give up: Abortion no more; abor~ tion never again."

Cardinal Bevilacqua, who chairs the U.S. bishops' Committee on Pro-Life Activities, said that on each anniversary of the Roe vs.

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Wade and Doe vs. Bolton deci· SJons on jan. 22, 1973, "we come here ... to declare openly that we cannot, we may not sit on the sidelines and simply allowoth· ers to dictate the future of our society." ~we can celebrate that after 30 years those who defend abortion finally realize that we who defend life will continue day after day, year after year, to testify publicly on behalf of the unborn and that we promise that we will not stop

Pope says war must always be the 'very last option'

1 The damage inflicted by the ~on the nation or community of nations must be laSting, grave, and certain 2 All other means of putti~ an end to it must have been shown to be impractical or tneffective 3 There must be serious prospects of success 4 The use of anna must nol produce evils and disorders graver than the evil to be eliminated. The power of modem means of destruclion weighs heaviy it evaluating

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br

this condition.

vety

These are the traditional elements enumerated in what is called the ..just war'' doctrine.

The evaluation of these conditions for moral legitimacy belongs to the prudential judgment of those who have responsibility for the common good. (CCC 2309)

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motivated by legitimate concerns. In an annual "state of the world" address jan. 13, the pope said the future of humanity depends partly on the earths peoples and their leaders having the courage to say "no to war."

"War is never just another o~ john.;aul II ••• means that one can choose spoke out against a to employ for settling differ· war against Iraq, telling ences between Vatican•111111!111!11'1~nations," he accredited said.

"Never as diplomats at the begin· that milining of this tary force millennium always has humanity must be felt how prewthe very carious is the last option," world which it even when

Many theologians say a war with Iraq is not justified. Here's why - the Just War Theory: ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• The strict conditions for legitimate defense military force require rigorous consideration. The gravity o such a decision makes it subject to rigorous conditions of moral legitimacy.

At one and the same time:

until every child in the womb has the legally protected right to be born," he said.

Cardinal Bevilacqua was joined at the Mass by four other U.S. cardinals, 36 bishops and archbishops and more than 300 priests.

The March for Ufe opened several hours later on the National Mall with a prayer that God would · restore the conscience of the nation· by working to "change our hearts and change our laws" on abortion. - CNS

~

the numbers

1 to 5 million is the nwnber of people most Americans believe live in poverty

why the

••••••••••••••••••• $35,000 is the annual income for a family of four to acquire the basic necessities of life, according to most Americans

million

approximate number of people living in poverty in the United States.

•• • •••••••••••••••• $18,000 in family

are a guide to happmess

T

he Eight Beatitudes have ·been described as our

..

For mare log onto FAITHmag.com

Lord's rules or laws for happiness. The word translated as ublessed" in our English New Testament and in the Catechism of the Catholic Church is makarios in the original Greek. The Greek word means "happy~ So the second rule or law for happiness is that mourners will be comforted.

The language 1here in the Sennon on the Mount harks back to the prophecy of Isaiah 61 : t -2, where Isaiah writes about the restoration of Zion: "The spirit of the Lord is upon me, Decause the Lord has anointed me: He has sent me to bring glad tidings to the lowly ••. to comfort all who mourn~ Jesus quoted this passage of Isaiah at the outset of His Galilean rninisby when He preached on the sabbath to His townsmen and relatives in the Nazareth synagogue.

The l:~ght Beatitudes have also been recast by "Be Attitudes." some modem catechists as the "Be Attitudes~ Corny, Ilmow; Corny, I know; but they mean there are eight but they mean attitudes we ought to strive to have in the depths there are eight of our very being in order to be truly happy: attitudes we poverty in spirit, meekness, mercy, purity of ought to strive heart, etc. to have in the Today when we speak of mourning and depths of our mourners we generally refer to grief over some- very being one's death. But these words also have the wider meaning of sorrow over other realities, such as unavoidable deficiencies, for example. There is very little mourning for sin in modem life, but there is plenty of mourning among people who have a wrong scale of values. There are people who mourn their Jack of brains, their lack of beauty, their lack of money, their Jack of position.

Jesus teaches that these values have little to do with true, spiritual, lasting happiness. iThe tremendous secret that Jesus teaches through the second beatitude is that happiness may be had in the midst of suffering or sorrow. Jesus never became sour, and we won't either if we accept the hard realities and bear with thein with the help of divine grace. This is because f1awinees is not an end. It is a result - Most R£v. Kamcth PoYisb was the thinl blsbop or

FAITHtt~CUy or Daly News Brt.fs

Lansing and Is now retired.

income is the poverty line, according to the _ _. , . federal 0oovemment

A mountain named after the pope ht expedition led ~ a Valican ofliciaJ planted a aoes on a previously nameless 800Nf peak at the South Pole Jan. 20 and~ declared it "Mount John Paul II~ Acx:ordiug1D ltaian news reports, the nearty 3,70Q.foot mountain ies at SO clecpes 19 ~ soulh lalilucfe and 81 degrees 31 miiUes west longitude. - CNS

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•

••

Pope's teachings to appear as text T~ on Italian cell phones fVhe·Vatican and an Italian mobile phone company, TlM, announced Jan. 14 that cellular clients can subscribe to a new service caned "Thought of the Holy Father.' At a cost of about 15 cents per day, ~receive an inspirational quotation chosen from one of the pope's messages or documents. -eNs

has shaped," he said.

"Yet everything can change," he added. "It depends on each of us. n He listed certain "requirements" that must be met "if entire peoples, perhaps even humanity itself, are not to sink into the abyss."

First among them was a "yes to life," particularly on the pan of legislators.

"Abortion, euthanasia, human cloning, for example, risk reducing the human person to a mere bject: life and death to rder, as it were," he said.

"The lifestyle of the prosperous, their patterns of consumption, must be

beatitudes

last onl

reviewed in the light of their repercussions on other countries," he said.

The pope said two conditions must be met "if we are to avoid descending into chaos": rediscovery of the "paramount value" of "natural law" as the source of inspiration for civil and international Jaw and professionally competent politi· dans who are honest, selfless and have strong moral convictions. -John Nonon (CNS)

,

PRAY

FAST

LEARN GIVE Our faith tradition calls us to pray, fast and give alms during Lent.

This tradition comes to life in Operation Rice Bowl, Catholic Relief Services' Lenten program. You will pray with your faith community, fast in solidarity with those who are hungry, learn about our global community, and give to those in need.

Participate with your parish or school today!

For more information contact: Ms. Borboro Poll (517) 342¡2470 bpott@dioccscoflansing.org

t faith

n.. t.lap:ln< or ohc C..oboloc Dwocnc or u.uu.,

300W Ottawa Lansing. Ml 48933

Online:

www.Dioceseoll.analng.orv www.FAITHmag.com The OW.Kh Mus, Sunct.y, 10

On TV:

a.m.

Flint - FOX 88 Lansing - FOX 47

On Radio: Mass, 11 a.m. on WJIM 1240 AM

A Special Progress Report: OUr diocese's response to the sexual abuse crisis in the Chun:h. See Page 28