T H E
M A G A Z I N E
O F
T H E
C A T H O L I C
D I O C E S E
O F
L A
C R O S S E
CATHOLICLIFE.DIOLC.ORG JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2019
BRIAN AND CARLA KIEFFER GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR THREE AMAZING CHILDREN
FROM THE BISHOP
GIFTS OF TH E HOLY SPI R I T Wisdom engages us first T
he seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit play a pivotal role in our response to and use of our unity with Christ in the Church. We can especially give evidence to our action
with Christ in His Church through Baptism. In Baptism, by the very ritual itself, we are claimed for Jesus Christ by the sign of His Cross. This signature, the Catechism teaches us (CCC 1272 ff.),
is known as a sacramental character or an indelible mark on our immortal souls.
It can never be removed; it marks us for all eternity as a child of God. The Holy Spirit marks
Carlson Productions
us with the “seal of the Lord for the day of redemption.”
MOST REVEREND WILLIAM PATRICK CALLAHAN is the bishop of the Catholic Diocese of La Crosse.
Three of the seven sacraments are known as Sacraments of Christian Initiation. They are Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Eucharist, each fortifying us in our lifelong faith that Jesus Christ is Lord and that we are Children of God. Baptism and Confirmation are two of the sacraments that implant indelible marks on our souls. Holy Orders is the third. The Sacrament of Confirmation completes the action of initiation and seals us in the Holy Spirit, imparting the Spirit’s seven gifts as an “energy source” for our spiritual journey in life. The first Gift of the Holy Spirit is Wisdom. Wisdom that comes from the Holy Spirit directs the mind and heart to judge things
FAITH HELPS
DISCIPLESHIP For personal reflection or small group discussion
from God’s perspective. Thus we can observe and value the things of God above earthly things. Scripture, especially Psalm 14, teaches us that it is “the fool who says in his heart there is no God.” The lament, repeated in Psalm 53, teaches about the world from two basically different standards: “the fool” and the “company of the just” also called “my (God’s) people.” The wicked persecute the just, but the Psalm proclaims the hope that God will punish evil-doers and reward those who choose and act upon the good in their lives. The Gifts of the Holy Spirit, especially the Gift of Wisdom, lead us to virtuous living—living life
and following the perspective of God’s plan. Wisdom enlightens the mind and directs the heart to a purer, deeper love of God. Seeking God allows us to value human life in our daily actions, namely, seeing Jesus in all people and valuing them as brothers and sisters in the divine family with God as our Father. As we begin this new year, we gain important new opportunities to reshape our lives, seek new directions and plan goals for the ways in which we want to renew our lives. The hope that comes from knowing Jesus and following His commandment of love allows us to put forth a clear choice for the value of our own lives as well as the value of the lives of those around us. Wisdom inspires the virtue of courage and promotes the strength of God’s grace in us. We choose to stand with Christ, choosing good and rejecting evil. This is not always an easy choice in our world and it is becoming more difficult each day. This year, we will be reflecting on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit and the challenge of virtuous living. It stands to reason, therefore, that we begin with the Gift of Wisdom. We celebrate our Christian calling to value human life. We strive to see the world more clearly from God’s perspective. We live experiencing God’s personal gift of love in this world and long to be united with Him completely in eternity.
1
2
3
List one spiritual goal for this year.
How often do I pray for the Gift of Wisdom when making decisions?
What is God’s purpose for my life? FIND MORE ONLINE
GO TO CATHOLICLIFE.DIOLC.ORG TO FIND ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
2
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Inside
January/ February
4
4. We March for Life 6. My Catholic Witness
Jessica finds her identity in Christ
8. What do you want for us, Lord?
The Hanneman family
10. And the one in the middle is Meredith
6
The Kieffer family
14. It’s all about relationship 15. What does sexuality have to do with pro-life? 17. Celebrating Catholic Schools week 18. Grace through family and openness to life
10
The Chesek family
20. “You are worthy”
Tonya’s experience with countercultural dating
22. Family, A testament to God’s plan
The Ruf family
24. Pregnancy Resource Centers
Pro-Woman, Pro-Life.
26. The Gift of Wisdom
20
Seeing Things from God’s Perspective
28. Your community 31. Last word
FIND US AT
CONNECT WITH YOUR PARISH LIKE NEVER BEFORE!
Download the free myParish App today! Text “app” to “88202” to download myParish App on your mobile device. You can also find it in the iTunes or Google Play stores by searching for myParish App. MYPARISHAPP.COM
Taking a cue from our grandparents
www.facebook.com/catholiclifediolc CHECK OUT CATHOLICLIFE.DIOLC.ORG
to view an electronic version of this magazine, as well as other diocesan news and calendar items.
LISTEN TO Connecting the Diocese Radio Show on Relevant Radio, Saturdays at 11 a.m. and Sundays at 5 p.m. To find more stations or to listen online, visit connecting.diolc.org
3
WE MARCH FOR LIFE “STRANGE, ISN’T IT? EACH MAN’S LIFE TOUCHES SO MANY OTHER LIVES. WHEN HE ISN’T AROUND H E L E AV E S A N AW F U L H O L E , D O E S N ’ T H E ? ” ~
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE
“Clarence”
CHRIS ROGERS Director of the Office for Youth and Young Adult Ministry
4
I grew up in Newport News, Virginia, and, as a teenager, I was not a very good driver. In 1991, after one minor traffic violation too many, the judge ordered me to serve 40 hours of community service in the emergency room of the hospital. It was there that I met a child who changed my life forever. I will call him “Clarence.” The meeting was most unexpected but I am convinced it was not by chance. One night, as I walked down the hallway of the emergency room, my co-worker, another “court kid,” excitedly called me into a storage room where there was a white container on the counter. He said, “Look in there!” Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. I peered into the container and, at first, noticed it was full of liquid. Looking more closely, in the liquid was a baby. It was “Clarence.” He had died. I imagined his mother had suffered a miscarriage. In the seconds, minutes, hours, days and years leading up to this
moment, I had not really considered when life begins, or thought about life issues in general. As far as I was concerned, it was none of my business. “Clarence” made it my business. I understood at that moment that I was looking at a baby, and there was no way around that. I thought to myself, “Look at how this moment is affecting you. Now imagine this moment happening by choice. Imagine this moment happening to a mother because she has been told this is her only option. This moment is happening many times every day, and has been happening many times every day for a long time. How could you stand by silently all this time?” Soon after, my boss stepped in and sealed the container and handed it to me saying, “I need you to carry this to the lab.” I took the container and carried it down an empty hallway. All I could think about was “Clarence” and what his life could have been, and the pain that his parents must have been
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
going through. A steady stream of tears ran down my cheeks and amidst my sorrow, I had a new understanding, a new value of life, and a new mission. Although “Clarence” may have never taken a breath outside of the womb, his life made a profound difference in my life. In fact, that is why I named him “Clarence” for my story after the character “Clarence” in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” He's the one who uttered the line quoted at the beginning of this article. Meeting “Clarence” made me think about those babies who lose their lives because of a choice. How many holes have been left in our world due to the lack of respect for life? Countless. Each year, in January, I lead a pilgrimage to the March for Life in Washington, D.C., where thousands of people from all over the country come together to take a stand for life: the lives of the unborn, the life of the mother carrying the baby, the lives of the fathers, the elderly,
FOLLOW PILGRIMS FROM THE DIOCESE OF LA CROSSE BY SEARCHING #DIOLC4LIFE OR VISITING DIOLC.ORG/MARCH.
the sick and dying, the lives of the disabled, of military members, of the innocent and the guilty; the life of every person. The March is only part of the pilgrimage. Our pilgrimage begins here at home in our words and our actions each day. If we want the March for Life to be effective, we must be champions for its cause each day. We each have a voice. Take a stand for God and His truth. The March for Life provides an opportunity for all of those voices to come together as one. We march to speak the truth in love, and we stand united for all who cannot stand for themselves, for those who feel alone, for those who feel cast aside. We stand for the dignity of all life. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 5
HOLY SPIRIT PARISH IN STEVENS POINT
My Catholic Witness My name is Jessica Enstad and I'm a junior at the University of Wisconsin - Stevens Point (UWSP) majoring in child, youth and family studies. I'm a runner, I have a passion to work with children, and I value time with family and friends. Most importantly though, I am Catholic.
Story by JESSICA ENSTAD
Photography by MICHEAL LIEURANCE
6
Although I grew up in a strong Catholic home, I was able to transition from the Faith of my parents to a Faith of my own when I came to college. A personal relationship with Jesus is what I was taught to yearn for and seek out each day. While being a Catholic college student has its challenges, the unending graces I have received are far greater now and will be even more so in heaven. At first I was hesitant to share my Faith and tell others that I was attending Mass or Bible study, but after a while I realized that who I was didn’t depend on what others thought of me. My identity lies in Christ alone. Because of my Faith, I no longer have a fear of rejection . I have learned how important a strong community with people who hold similar values is to the Catholic Faith.
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Authentic and virtuous relationships that are rooted in Christ have led me now to live more fully. God handcrafted and placed these friendships in my life because He knew I was ready. He has chosen me to be an instrument of His work to build and strengthen the community in my Newman Center. I lead women’s Bible study, the rosary and take students to the Salvation Army to volunteer. I find true joy and happiness serving the Church within a genuine and supportive community. However, like all Christians, I have my share of trials and struggles when it comes to walking the path of Christianity. Specifically, I have battled doubt as a young single person in the Church. I think it is a very common inner struggle among my peers; the
contrary to mine. Amidst it all, I find the strength and courage from Jesus; I am a young college student going against Because of my Faith, I no longer the norm and proclaiming that have a fear of rejection. I am saving myself for marriage. My body is of infinite value and I am reserving it for my future spouse. I intimately want to share that bond with the one that God has planned for me. Pope Benedict uncertainty of being single and XVI said “God didn’t create us for comfort, He made trusting that God will reveal his us for greatness.” I wholeheartedly stand by what I vocation to me. I have found that value. I hope that others know that they aren’t alone. it is so vital to have built a strong Chastity may not be a commonly used word in topersonal relationship with Jesus day’s society, but I have made that vow to God. before seeking out another perUpholding my values means being the best version son. We need to fall in love with of myself every day, however perfectly imperfect I may the Lord and truly love ourselves be. The greatest gift I can give is love. Every person before we can ever be ready I encounter presents an opportunity for me to love to love someone else. It is so powerful to think that and to listen. I have found genuine happiness and God is preparing you and your future spouse for each fulfillment by giving of myself for the good of another. other in this moment. Every trial or success you are True greatness is found in gifting ourselves to another. encountering right now is a part of God’s plan. He is Mother Teresa once said “Do small things with great preparing you for your future spouse should married love,” and that is what I seek to do each and every day. life be your vocation. God’s timing is impeccable and, It doesn’t take profound acts of service; even in the in the words of St. Padre Pio, we need to pray, hope small acts of love, Christ is present. I feel it is my call and not worry. as a young woman of faith to serve others. I know this Although it is not easy in today’s society to be is what God is asking of me, to spread His love and single when dating and the hookup culture is so shine His light for all to see. God calls us to brazenstrong, I know that I am worth the wait. Sex is often ly live out our Faith without fear of what the rest of portrayed as casual and meaningless in the college the world thinks. We are all made in the image and culture. As a woman of Faith, it is often difficult to likeness of God and I strive to live out Christ’s mission stand behind what I believe and know is right when and be His hands and feet here on earth. I am surrounded by so many who engage in behavior
My identity lies in Christ alone.
7
Brian and Natasha Hanneman and their children, from left, Anthony, Rayla, Savina, and Samuel
Natasha plays with twins Anthony and Samuel
What do you want for us, Lord?
T
he Hanneman family’s story is one of patience, perseverance and selfless devotion, anchored in Faith and unyielding trust in God’s plan for their family. Brian and Natasha Hanneman of St. Matthew Parish in Wausau have four children – twins Anthony and Samuel, 6, Rayla, 3, and one-year old Savina.
Story and Photography by
BEN WILLIAMS
8
Brian and Natasha met when they were both traveling as chaperones for the 2005 World Youth Day in Cologne, Germany. “It was so funny because he was from Marshfield and I was from Wausau,” Natasha says. My parents were so happy when they found out he was from Wisconsin. When we got back, we found out that both of our families had been praying for us to meet someone.” Those prayers paid off and two years later they were married and ready to start their family. Although Natasha and Brian
had a general idea of how their family would grow when they got married, God’s plan for them was different. “Initially I just thought kind of like what I was used to, like two or three kids,” Natasha begins. “We spent the first five years of our marriage trying to have a biological child.” As time went on, Natasha and Brian tried various fertility treatments without success, and the reality of their situation began to weigh them down. “It just got hard, sad, and difficult. There were moments of anger, but I think because we had a base of Faith,
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
even if there were moments when we were angry or had a hard time and were angry with God, or didn’t understand why, we always had our Faith and each other. We knew God had us, even though we weren’t getting outcomes we wanted. You always expect to grow your family in a certain way, so we had to grieve losing the idea of how we thought we were going to grow our family.” Brian worked hard to focus on God’s will and the Holy Mother during the most difficult times, “I prayed the rosary and really in my mind got rid of all the worldly stuff. You know, the world is saying you should do X, Y, or Z and we were just saying, ‘Okay Lord, I’m trying to use this opportunity to figure out what you want me to do.’” Thankfully, that sorrow would begin to transform into graces over the years as God’s will for them unfolded. Natasha sums up the dominating element of the circumstances that would take them from a family of two to a family of six: “Every time you think you made your decision, it is like God says, ‘Okay, you’ve finally settled down enough for me to do my work.’” God’s work would be evident soon.
Brian and Rayla
“One day we ended up at an adoption workshop,” Natasha begins, “I remember we went in broken,
“One day we ended up at an adoption workshop,” Natasha begins, “I remember we went in broken, sad, and really not into it. But we went and learned all about adoption. I will never forget going back to our car, looking at each other and saying ‘are you feeling what I’m feeling? We’re called to this aren’t we.’ We just left that day with a weight off our shoulders and this hope. We thought, ‘Sorry Lord, we haven’t been listening, but this is what you called us to.’ When we look back, there were some really dark, difficult times. You never know when you are in the weeds of it. But when we look back on it now, I would go through it again in a heartbeat if it meant I got these little people here because they are family and meant to be with us.” That day, they decided to begin the adoption process and eventually it was more rewarding than they expected. “I get the call while shopping for my sister’s baby shower,” Natasha begins. “They tell me our sons were just born and they are healthy and ready for you (us) to come get them. First, I’m shocked...but did you say sons?!
Then I think, this is God at work because I’m getting twin boys a month before my sister is due with twin boys. It was just amazing.” After bringing home their twins, Anthony and Samuel, Natasha and Brian continued to pray, looking out for what God had planned for them, always staying open to any life God brought close to them. “With every situation that came to us, whether it was a sibling group or older kids or kids with possible disabilities, I felt like we always asked, ‘Are these our kids, Lord’? We really prayed on it and tried to figure it out,” Natasha describes. Then a month before their adoption eligibility expired, along came another call; the one that would bring Rayla into their lives. After they adopted Rayla, Natasha and Brian did not plan to adopt again. That’s when they found out God had another surprise in store for them. After years of infertility and two adoptions, Natasha was pregnant. Natasha describes, “We felt our family was a little incomplete yet, then after we adopted Rayla I knew we weren’t going to do adoption anymore. So, our family is complete now. I feel like
sad, and really not into it. But we went and learned all about adoption. I will never forget going back to our car, looking at each other and saying ‘are you feeling what I’m feeling?
We’re called to this aren’t we.’” we both still had a little yearning in our heart, but I’ve never been able to get pregnant so that would be crazy – then wham! Savina.” Now, with four little ones, Natasha and Brian have taken on parenthood with joy and enthusiasm and continue to be open to whatever lives God may bring to them. Natasha says that during her most difficult times, “I prayed to St. Gianna and St. Gerard and (asked for) their intercession, constantly thinking that it didn’t seem to be working. But I just kept praying and now when I look back, it totally wasn’t working in the way I thought it should work. It was working in the way it was supposed to work. And that is how it is with so many things in life. It’s not going your way so you think God’s not hearing you, but of course He is. He’s just directing you on the right path.” 9
ST. JOSEPH PARISH IN MENOMONIE
10
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
BRIAN AND CARLA KIEFFER GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR THREE AMAZING CHILDREN
11
Meredith, right, with siblings Megan, left, and Matthew, center.
23, is studying optometry at Ohio State University, , 19, is a , chemical engineering student at Iowa State University. Their middle child, 22, is an enthusiastic employee of Applebee’s. All through their lives, Brian and Carla have focused on sharing the love of God and their love of the Catholic Faith with Megan, Meredith and Matthew. Brian and Carla know life will not always go as expected for their children, but if the three young adults trust in God’s guidance they can navigate the unexpected. For Brian and Carla, the unexpected happened on Thanksgiving Day in 1996, just after their middle child Meredith was born. “They told us they thought she had Down Syndrome,” says Brian. “We didn’t know anything about Down Syndrome at the time.”
“Meredith having Down Syndrome completely blindsided us,” Carla says. The doctor eased their concerns right away, predicting Meredith would have a full and active life. “We took her home and have been learning as we go,” says Carla. “We prayed a lot that somehow God would give us the tools to guide her.” “There was a lot of fear of what she was capable of, but we just treated her as one of our other children,” Brian says. “Us treating her like our other children helps expose people to children with Down Syndrome and takes the unknown away. There is so much happiness she brings to our family.” Because they didn’t hesitate 12
to share Meredith with the community, there have been positive connections made in every part of their lives. Whenever support was needed, God sent the Kieffers just what, or who, they needed. With the love the family has for each other, most of the support has come from within. Brian and Carla quickly understood Meredith would have the same basic needs and desires as her older sister and younger brother. They worked hard to help Meredith achieve all her goals. Megan and Matthew have always included their beloved sister in their lives, acting as protectors of her in school, and sharing their friends with her. “They knew Meredith wanted
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
to be one of the regular kids, and included her in what they were doing,” says Brian. “Meredith definitely has benefited from having an older sister and a younger brother,” Carla says. “They had to learn to be compassionate and inclusive. I give them a lot of credit for her success. Megan and Matthew have done a fantastic job.” Meredith has always had a knack for opening hearts and doors to opportunities, thanks to her extroverted nature and self-confidence. “She’s been a blessing to a lot of people,” says Carla. “You won’t forget her once you meet her.” “Teachers who were hesitant to have Meredith in class very soon became her cheerleaders,” Brian remembers. “She’s changed a lot of attitudes in the school system,” he says. “I think Meredith has changed a lot of people’s opinions of what people with disabilities can do. As for things Meredith and her parents were told she would never do, Meredith has proved the predictions wrong. She can read, has a job and does many things on her own. “Meredith has given a face to what people fear, and breaks down barriers wherever she goes,” says Carla. Meredith is very active within the parish. Every week after Mass she helps with hospitality – making sure no one goes without a doughnut. She works Monday through Friday at Applebee’s as a prep cook. “The restaurant has been wonderful to work with,” Carla says. “They have welcomed her and made her part of the Applebee’s family.” The hardest thing for Meredith right now is having her sister and brother away at college. “She has not adapted to being the only child,” says Carla with a laugh.
“She loves having people around.” If Meredith has her way, she will soon move into her own home. Brian and Carla support this goal, even though they love sharing a home with her. “She wants to have a place of her own. We are working on that,” Carla says. “It will definitely be hard for me. She is just fun to have around.” Over the years, it became very clear to Brian and Carla that all children have the same hopes and dreams. As parents, they help Megan, Meredith and Matthew to achieve their dreams while navigating difficulties. “When you have a struggle, that’s just a place for opportunity,” says Carla. She believes the Kieffer children can succeed because of love – the love of their parents and of their heavenly Father. “One of the best gifts you can give your kids is a good marriage,” she says. “God has provided us with the tools and inspiration for 26 years. That’s how you create a good family.” They know Meredith may seem different, but believe there’s nothing wrong with being different. “Children are a gift from God no matter what package they come in,” says Carla. “That’s how we were raised. We are going to take whatever gift He sends us. He hasn’t let us down, that’s for sure. There are things that we cannot
control and if we don’t trust God, I don’t know what happens. He is going to see us through and He will see our kids through. Family isn’t just something, family is everything.” Being active in Special Olympics has helped the Kieffers understand while there may be differences, drive and desire are in the heart of every person. “Every one of those kids in Special Olympics, they will eventually get out what they want,” Brian says. “They have
the same thoughts and feelings as everyone else.” “God has a plan for Meredith, and He has a plan for us to help her attain what she wants,” says Carla. “Just like he has a plan for everyone else. We just have to follow him.” “What I’ve learned is navigating Down Syndrome is not as difficult as you think it would be,” Brian says. “It was a scary thing at first. I look back now and think, ‘What was I so scared about?’”
Game night at the Kieffer family home.
13
SHERRY ANNE WEDDELL created the first charism discernment process specifically designed for Catholics in 1993. In 1997, she co-founded the Catherine of Siena Institute, an affiliated international ministry of the Western Dominican Province, and currently serves as Executive Director. Sherry has developed numerous unique formation resources that are used around the world.
DISCIPLESHIP 101
It’s all about relationship This month’s Catholic Life offers a new column, Discipleship 101, based on Sherry Weddell’s books, Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and Following Jesus (2012) and Fruitful Discipleship: Living the Mission of Jesus in the Church and the World (2017). Sherry is a leading voice in the Catholic world
•T hose who were raised without a faith and who are exploring their options. •T hose who have left a childhood faith but “haven’t found the right faith yet.” •T he millions of “religious unaffiliated” who know religion is important, pray regularly, and wander in and out of our congregations.
Catholics who strive to grow as disciples of Jesus and
•C atholics who have left the faith but have not yet adopted another religious identity and are searching.
go evangelize, sharing the Gospel with others.
• Dissatisfied Catholics who haven’t
in the field of forming missionary disciples – engaged
The truth is that at this very moment, millions of Americans, including many ex-Catholics, are open to the faith of Jesus Christ and his Church.” 14
where to go after they leave. In other words, changes of faith are, for most people, a journey and a search, not an instant, simple, and painless abandonment of belief. The truth is that at this very moment, millions of Americans, including many ex-Catholics, are open to the faith of Jesus Christ and his Church. Consider those who we know who are either actively searching or at least passively scanning the horizon for spiritual alternatives:
The 2008 Pew “U.S. Religious Landscape Survey” found that the majority of American adults who change from their childhood faith do so in a series of steps rather than a single giant leap. This holds true for former Catholics too. Very few people wake up one morning and decide, “I think I’ll become a Baptist today.” All the evidence is that people feel dissatisfied and consider leaving for a couple of years before actually taking the first step, and that the majority pass through two or three religious changes before settling into a new spiritual home. Most people have mixed feelings about leaving the faith of their childhood. They are unsure of leaving and unsure of
left but are considering doing so.
These people are already seeking. Our job is to reach out deliberately and intentionally to help them find the pearl of great price.
IT’S ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIP When Pew researchers asked American adults a series of questions about the kind of God they believed in, a startling pattern emerged: Nearly a third of selfidentified Catholics believe in an impersonal God. I had always blithely assumed that when people said that they believed in God, they meant a personal God. What other kind
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
of God is there? Not so. Only 60 percent of Catholics believe in a personal God. Twenty-nine percent said that God is an “impersonal force.” Eight percent responded that God was “other,” or “both” personal and impersonal, and one percent didn’t believe in God at all. It is especially sobering to learn that when Pew surveyors asked the question, “Which comes closest to your view of God: God is a person with whom people can have a relationship, or God is an impersonal force?” only 48 percent of Catholics were absolutely certain that the God they believed in was a God with whom they could have a personal relationship. So it should be clear that retaining a Catholic identity does not mean that someone necessarily believes in the God at the heart of Catholicism. How much of our faith can make sense to millions of Catholics when the bedrock foundation – belief in a personal God who loves us – is not in place? Where does all this leave us? Certainly one of the most fundamental challenges facing our Church is this: The majority of adult Catholics are not even certain that a personal relationship with God is possible. In short, statistical reality bears out this prophetic passage from Pope John Paul II’s Catechesi Tradendae (On Catechesis in Our Time): It is possible for baptized Catholics to be “still without any explicit personal attachment to Jesus Christ; they only have the capacity to believe placed within them by Baptism and the presence of the Holy Spirit.”
(Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and Following Jesus, Sherry A. Weddell, Huntington, Ind: Our Sunday Visitor, 2012, pp. 42-44, 46.)
What does sexuality have to do with pro-life? It is fair to say that God looks at the world and human life differently than we do. This is especially true when we compare God’s plan for human sexuality with that of today’s culture.
exploitation, and sexual violence.) All this Many today view human sexuality in a has profound and destructive effects not purely pragmatic way because science has By God’s design, only on individual persons but on society as developed pills, procedures and devices human sexuality well. that divorce sexual activity from its natural is a gift given to Here is a quote from Human Sexuality from outcome: pregnancy. Separating life from us so that we can God’s Perspective written by the USCCB’s the action allows people to view sexual Pro-life Secretariat on the 25th anniversary intercourse as solely a natural response to co-create life out of of Humanae Vitae. “When a society permits human instinct and human need. love for love. God’s sexual behavior to be torn from its moorings God’s perspective on sexuality is radiplan ensures love of in human love and marriage, when it treats cally different. It recognizes that human life remains intact.” sex as a mechanism for personal pleasure, it life and the human spirit exceed biology encourages a destructive mentality and diand humanistic philosophy. God’s plan minishes the value of personal commitment understands that sexual activity flourishes and of human life itself.” when the nature and dignity of human life and the proSexuality is clearly tied to being pro-life. By God’s cess by which that life is transmitted are unified. It also design, human sexuality is a gift given to us so that acknowledges that the separation of the two ends of sexwe can co-create life out of love for love. God’s plan ual activity – love and life – diminishes the fulfillment ensures love of life remains intact. that God intends and often results in human agony. Sirach 15:15-17 tells us that we get to decide if we What happens when people choose the cultural interwill follow God’s commandments or blow them off. pretation about sexuality over God’s message? Statistics It also states that what we choose will be given to us. and research would show that we become less pro-life. (Consider the increase in abortions, sexual abuse, sexual What’s your choice?
ALICE HEINZEN,
Director of the Office for Marriage and Family Life
15
CATHOLIC SCHOOLS WEEK 2019 | JANUARY 27 – FEBRUARY 2 DIOCESE OF LA CROSSE DIOLC.ORG/SCHOOLS/FIND-A-SCHOOL | #CSW19 16
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Celebrating Catholic Schools week
For one whole week, January 27 to February 2, we celebrate and focus on the value of providing a Catholic education. The students of Assumption Catholic Schools are shown participating in activities such as preparing meals, attending Mass with Bishop Callahan, having lunch with their families, and visiting community members and neighbors. I can personally and professionally attest to the amount of sacrifice and love that must exist in order to ensure the function and future of our system. As our community joins together to celebrate the education and faith of our Church’s young people during Catholic Schools Week, I am blessed to be able to reflect on my own journey in education and the invaluable things I have learned as a new administrator in a Catholic school community I have come to call home.
In the fall of 2017, while I was still employed by the public school system, my wife and I began to feel a strong calling to do something that would encourage and foster the faith in the young people of our
community. We started a youth ministry program called Mission 9:24 named after the “race” that St. Paul talks about “running so as to win” in 1 Corinthians 9:2427. It was seeing young people’s faith come alive that ultimately led me to change my professional career path and begin working as the assistant principal, curriculum director and campus minister for Assumption Catholic Schools in Wisconsin Rapids. Through the transition to Catholic schools, I began to more fully understand the difference a Catholic school can make in the education of a child, in the growth of families and in the vitality of the whole Church. At Assumption, we recently
JIMMY LYNCH, Assumption Catholic Schools Associate Principal 6-12, Director of Curriculum K-12 Campus Ministry K-12
shifted the class schedule to offer Mass in the middle of every school day, making the reception of daily Eucharist available to our students, staff and the entire community, communicating to our students the importance of centering everything we do around Christ. It is both encouraging and inspiring to see growth in the number of students and community members attending Mass. Teachers take smaller salaries in exchange for taking part in educating children and young people in the name of truth. Parents make sacrifices for tuition costs and volunteer for hours on end to make extra-curricular activities possible. Most importantly, students walk the halls of our Catholic schools with a quiet yet present sense of responsibility and stewardship. With great hope we celebrate our schools during Catholic Schools Week not only for what they do but for what they are and must be for the Church and for the world. 17
NATIVITY OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY PARISH IN MARATHON
Grace
T H R O U G H FA M I LY & OPENNESS TO LIFE
Joe and Melissa Chesek
P
ope St. John Paul II, addressing the faithful in Australia on Nov. 30, 1986, said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” A bold statement from a bold pope touches on a reality – family life is the heroic life-blood of society. Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary parishioners Joe and Melissa Chesek reside with their seven children in Marathon, and every day live out their own heroic venture through their selfless devotion to each other and to their Faith. Joe and Melissa Chesek with their children, Stefani, 15, Peter, 13, Anna, 11, Teresa, 10, Mary, 8, Andrew, 5, and James, 2.
18
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Story and Photography by BEN WILLIAMS
Married for 15 years, Joe and Melissa keep family and Faith at the center of their lives. Although Joe and Melissa originally started their lives together in Joe’s home state of Illinois, as their family grew larger and their kids grew older, they considered moving to Melissa’s home state of Wisconsin. Joe reflects, “Where we lived was getting very overpopulated. We knew we wanted to get out of that. We were going on five children. We wanted to send them to Catholic school and raise them Catholic, but the overpopulation took its toll on Catholic schools in terms of cost. We knew we wanted to get out of that heavily populated area and send the kids to Catholic school.”
What seemed to be God’s plan all along, Joe eventually landed with his family in Marathon in 2013. “I ended up taking a job in Marshfield,” Joe begins, “and I commuted from Illinois. One thing led to another. I stumbled upon a house here in Marathon on an Ash Wednesday, and the pastor, Monsignor Joseph Diermeier (Father Joe), stopped me after Mass. I told him about my family and he said we’d really like it here – the following week we were signing the mortgage papers and moving up here.” Joe’s initial meeting with Father Joe had a profound impact on him and Father Joe continues to impact the family to this day. Joe says, “Spiritually, Father Joe is a big part of our family. He’s taken us in, very strongly. Father Joe is very pro-family and I think he can see that in us.” Melissa adds, “Father Joe was very welcoming in saying ‘come on, sit up front.’ Don’t be afraid with a large family, where most families our size maybe want to sit in the back.” Joe and Melissa work each day to ensure their kids are exposed to and practicing their Catholic Faith. Joe also reflects on how they keep their Faith alive throughout
their busy daily lives, “We always try to make time for prayers. We pray every night before the kids go to bed, say grace before meals, and pray the rosary every week on Sunday.” Melissa adds, “The kids each take turns leading the rosary.” Joe and Melissa are also grateful they are blessed with St. Mary Catholic School where they know their children are receiving a great Catholic education. Joe and Melissa’s Faith is influenced by their children as well. “I pray for them daily,” Melissa begins, “I think, for me and for Joe too, we just assess what to do and how to interact with them and pray for graces to be good parents and do the best we can with God’s help. Watching them grow and thinking back on when they were little and what they are like now, we are truly so thankful. From pregnancy to giving birth and watching them grow, it is an awesome feeling to know that God has given us such a gift and that we participated in creating all of these lives.” Joe adds, “A lot of reflection. I try to learn from my mistakes and always try to improve. They all have helped me understand humanity better. You know, I was raised on ‘dad had a strong hand and mom was the comforter.’ I’ve realized I can’t do that, so I’ve changed the way I thought about raising children 180 degrees. Especially in Faith life, I have to be more tender. If I didn’t have kids I don’t know where I would be in my Faith life because it has always been about trying to offer that example. Seeing them, as they get older, when they go down that aisle in church and genuflect and roll into that pew – I feel pride in that.” An essential quality that has always filled this family with God’s graces is their openness to life. “Getting married I knew I wanted a larger family,” Joe begins. “I had a great childhood growing up with five siblings. The meals together
were always exciting, never a dull moment. I always thought that was normal, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. So, when Melissa and I met and started dating, the openness to life was there and it was perfect. Being open to life is such a blessed way to be, and the graces that are there are incredible. I feel sad when people are not open to life; ‘how depressing’ I say to myself sometimes.” Melissa adds, “It is very sad.” Melissa adds couples who may not be open to life, “They are missing out on so much that they have no idea how rich kids make your lives. After you have kids and you look back and you go ‘oh my gosh’ what was life before them? Not that life didn’t have meaning, but it has so much more meaning and with each child that just adds more and more to it. We were always open to having
You know, I was raised on ‘dad had a strong hand and mom was the comforter.’ I’ve realized I can’t do that, so I’ve changed the way I thought about raising children 180 degrees. Especially in Faith life, I have to be more tender. If I didn’t have kids I don’t know where I would be in my Faith life because it has always been about trying to offer that example. Seeing them, as they get older, when they go down that aisle in church and genuflect and roll into that pew – I feel pride in that.”
children, but it never occurred to me that we would have seven. I could not imagine my life without any of them.” Joe adds further reflection on having a large family, “The more you give the more you get. I can speak to that on a financial level, on a relationship level – the more you give the more you get.” Melissa concludes, “God is not going to give you what you can’t handle and those struggles that you go through are going to make you much stronger. It is going to be hard at times, but it is well worth it. Your life will be so much richer with each one.” 19
HOLY SPIRIT PARISH IN STEVENS POINT
W
e each have a story to tell, a story composed of a collection of life experiences both good and bad. Propelled by Faith, the experiences can be a source of wisdom for the journey if we let them, giving one the grace and courage necessary to take the path less traveled.
One young woman’s experience of countercultural dating
20
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Tonya Harbaugh’s life is no different. Her story is a compilation of moments, both beautiful and challenging that have come to shape her future. Armed with a strong Faith, the twenty-fiveyear-old has made the conscious, countercultural decision to save herself for her future spouse. “I was a happy miracle to my mom when she became pregnant with me,” Tonya explains. “She was in the Army and was advised by family members to abort me, since my grandmother was already taking care of my sister. My birth father took off and wasn’t in the picture, and [I would be a] financial burden on an already strained income.” By the grace of God, Tonya’s mom chose life and her grandmother welcomed her with open and loving arms. Tonya lived with her grandmother who cared for her until her mother was honorably discharged from the Army when Tonya was six years old. Tonya grew up in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, attending Holy Family Elementary School until eighth grade. Living only a couple blocks from the public high school and with her family financially unable to send her to the closest Catholic high school forty minutes away, Tonya struggled with the thought of her Catholic education coming to an end.
One of Tonya’s greatest blessings, she says, is when her best friend’s mother encouraged her family to enroll her in Roncalli Catholic High School in Manitowoc. With a sponsorship the school offered, financial hardship wouldn’t be an obstacle to her attending. “I flourished at Roncalli,” Tonya recalls. The support and catechesis she received there, kept her on track. Tonya’s mother went on to have two boys, one when Tonya was two and one when she was twelve. Her youngest brother was born into an exceptionally difficult set of circumstances, so Tonya was involved in helping raise him. She recalls her own loving, nurturing personality balancing her mom’s stricter military style in parenting her brother. Tonya still shares a close bond with all of her siblings, especially her youngest brother, Timmy. Additionally, Tonya’s sister had a teen pregnancy which enlightened Tonya to the joys and struggles she endured as a young, unmarried parent. Tonya was able to aid her sister in raising her niece. “I have felt what it feels like to be unwanted,” Tonya confesses. “I know the challenges that are the natural repercussion of having sexual intercourse before I’m married. I want to be emotionally prepared to welcome a child into this world with my husband.” “As much as I want to be a mother, I made a promise to myself that I would save myself for my future spouse and have children when I am emotionally and financially prepared.” After high school, Tonya attended the University of Wisconsin – Stevens Point, where she graduated last spring. During college, Tonya was involved in track and various other student organizations. She found community and a place of refuge at Holy Spirit Parish and the Newman Center where she became
and continues to be very involved. She can be found volunteering and assisting in any capacity she is needed including ushering, serving and lectoring. She is also part of the RCIA team and assists with religious education. Tonya’s outgoing personality naturally becomes a source of welcome to parish guests. Living in Stevens Point and being away from home allowed Tonya to spread her wings and learn to find her own way apart from the life she knew growing up. The networks she has built have made her a part of many families whether it be through nannying, volunteering or just being a listening ear. Making it a point to see Jesus working through all those she encounters daily, she has formed relationships and received support and aid from unexpected places during her college years. College was also a time of vocational discernment for Tonya. Feeling a particular call to marriage and motherhood, she has weathered the dating scene. “I am very up front and honest with male suitors, so that we don’t waste each other’s time,” she explains of her experiences. “[Some] men have heard that I am saving myself and view it as a quest to conquer or that I am naïve and have no idea what sex is. or that they can “woo” me into changing my mind. When they realize I stand by my morals and beliefs they are gone… I know I am worthy of being respected and waited for. I know they too are worthy of being respected and waited for.” Standing strong in the face of temptation is not easy especially in a culture that too often champions immorality and impurity. Tonya is the first to admit that. But she has had great mentors along the way, especially her grandmother and her best friend and confirmation sponsor, Mary Bettag, now Sister Mary Theresa (whose mom was
instrumental in securing Tonya’s Catholic high school education). The whole Bettag family has become a second family to Tonya, especially through her tumultuous early years. Tonya’s other great support has been found in her Faith. With a special devotion to St. Maria Goretti, she finds strength in the story of the saint’s courage. She also finds solace in the Eucharist. During a semester off from college at a particularly difficult time, Tonya was struggling with the absence of her father from her life. She had some great men, like Mr. Bettag, step up and give her glimpses of what having a father would be like, but it wasn’t until she received the Eucharist one particular day at Mass that she really felt the person of Jesus envelop her like a hug and perfectly fill that vacant space in her heart. She knows that staying close to the Eucharist will keep her sustained for the journey. Tonya continues to be open to dating relationships. She also has plenty to do to keep her busy and involved. Tonya remains close to her family, visiting home any time she can. Since graduating, she has served as an in-home care worker, still discerning the path the Lord is laying out for her. One day she hopes to put her biology degree to work as a NICU or OB nurse. To others in situations similar to hers, Tonya offers words of wisdom and support, saying enthusiastically: “You’re worthy.” She wants all young people to know they are worth the wait. She encourages them to recognize that each person they meet carries crosses and to be loving to them all, even if they try to knock you down or belittle your beliefs. “There will always be temptations, but God is on your side and your persistence will gain you respect.”
Story by AMY EICHSTEADT
Photography by MICHEAL LIEURANCE
“
I know I am worthy of being respected and waited for. I know they too are worthy of being respected and waited for.”
21
NOTRE DAME PARISH IN CHIPPEWA FALLS
FAMILY FAMILY - a word spoken differently in every language, nevertheless bearing the same meaning throughout the world. Images of a home filled with children and sounds of laughter and joy come to mind. It may evoke memories of days gone by, or aspirations of days to come.
Sadly, the institution of family is under attack in our society. Attempts to change the dynamics of the family unit continue – dynamics contrary to God’s Plan. The Bible’s teachings on marriage, children and family are clear. But, these teachings are criticized by the “me” society influencing many households, and the conveniences of today’s world. Russ and Sarah Ruf have overcome society’s influences and are a living testament to the definition of “family.” Married for 24 years, the Rufs are proud parents of nine children and live on the family farm just north of Chippewa Falls. “Thankfully, God blessed us with a large family. We see them all as gifts,” exclaims Sarah. “It’s something we both wanted.” Russ adds, “With each one you wonder if you have time for another 22
one. But, when the next one comes, it’s like life would never be the same without them.” Their children are Christian 22, Emily 21, John 18, Mary 16, Lucianna 14, Theresa 11, Grace 9, Joseph 6 and Abigail 3. Regrettably, another son, Casey, died in a miscarriage. Russ and Sarah homeschool their children. Russ believes the advantages of homeschooling help “In keeping that parent pressure instead of that teen pressure” on the children. “Homeschooling allows them to not be locked into one age group.” “A big part is they’re all together,” comments Sarah. “They have friendships with each other. Not only are the kids taught their Catholic Faith, but they live it.” The family is active at the Church of Notre Dame in Chippewa Falls.
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Story and Photography by SHARON SLIWKA
The girls sing in the choir and the boys have been altar servers. The children have attended the March for Life in Washington, D.C., and are involved with missionary work, including Chalice of Mercy. Russ sees how missionary involvement helps his family. “They see the greater Church in need – they see the world suffering. We don’t have great wealth, but they see what we have and they see there are more people out there that don’t have that. Because of that love for life, they want to be charitable with their efforts. They want to go out and be missionaries to the world. They want to go out and bring Christ to nations. That’s what homeschooling has done more than anything – protect that desire to be Christ-like.” The eldest siblings are following the Faith taught by their parents.
Christian attended St. Mary’s Seminary to discern God’s plan for him. He now teaches theology at McDonell High School in Chippewa Falls. Emily and John are students at the International Theological Institute (ITI) in Austria. ITI was founded in 1996 at the request of Pope John Paul II. The Rufs embrace their large family. Sarah believes, “Being part of a large family is a silent witness. When the children were younger, people would come up to me and ask how I do that.” Others would comment to her that they’d wish they’d have more patience or more kids. “The silent witness is to see children as a blessing.” Russ and Sarah not only teach Faith and values, but also live them. They look upon their marriage as a life-long commitment.
“God makes our marriage work,” Sarah believes. “Children are saint makers – just as marriage is,” Russ laughs. “During our date nights we have a list of things that help us brainstorm. Communicate. You have to listen and understand what the other is saying. You will still have miscommunication. But, stop and listen.” Even with the Rufs’ Catholic Faith guiding their church involvement, missionary work, daily Mass and Adoration, Russ and Sarah have had to overcome adversity throughout their lives. Theresa, now 11, was born six weeks premature. At 22 weeks of pregnancy, Sarah developed serious complications. About this same time, she read of a woman who was also 22 weeks along,
but chose to have an abortion. “It was heart-wrenching reading of a baby that was aborted at that age. We wanted our baby to live, but someone else didn’t want theirs. I couldn’t wrap my head around it,” Sarah recalls. The complications of her pregnancy taught her that “life can go on without me.” The most important thing at that time for her was to preserve the life inside her. Russ was raised — Russ in a strong Catholic family and grew up on the family farm with his four siblings. Before he was born, an older sister died of complications from a tonsillectomy. In 2015, Russ’s father, William, was ice fishing near the Glen Lock Dam north of Chippewa Falls, when another fisherman fell through the ice. In an attempt to save the man, William drowned. Russ recalls, “There was a young man who spent that afternoon with my dad and he came and talked with our family afterward. He didn’t know me but he knew my dad. Therefore, he knew me. He told me my dad spent the afternoon talking about his family.” Like father, like son – family was also the most important part of William’s life. Russ’s mother passed away one year later. Despite the tragedies and hardships of life, the Rufs’ Catholic Faith and love of life provide them everything they desire. They are a living testament to God’s Plan and the love of family. According to Russ, “In the words of Jesus - today has worries of its own. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. Live in the moment and quit worrying about what tomorrow has to bring. Tomorrow may never come.”
“Children are saint makers – just as marriage is .”
23
Pregnancy Resource Centers:
Pro-Woman, Pro-Life.
In the Diocese of La Crosse, expectant mothers are treated with respect, sensitivity and kindness at our pregnancy resource centers. These centers provide pregnancy tests, personal mentoring and help women with the practical needs of pregnancy and child care (baby clothes, diapers, etc.). They offer support for maternity care, offer women referrals to community aid organizations, and provide information on adoption. Some are equipped to perform ultrasounds. They are also a source of compassion and care for post-abortive women who are struggling emotionally. All services are provided free and confidentially. On the next page is a list of pregnancy resource centers. The list includes a few facilities that offer emergency or transitional housing.
CHRIS RUFF Director of the Office for Ministries and Social Concerns
24
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
PRE GNA NC Y R ESOURC E CEN TERS i n t h e D i o ces e o f L a C ro s s e BL E NK E R
Destiny Point (Women’s Restoration Home) 10094 County Road F Milladore, WI 54454 Phone: 715.652.2135 or 715.652.2027 destinypoint.org E AU C LA I R E
Apple Pregnancy Care Center 2600 Stein Blvd. Eau Claire, WI 54701 Office Phone: 715.834.5254 24-Hr Hotline: 715.834.7734 applepcc.org L A C ROSS E
Gerard Hall (Maternity Home) 940 Division St. La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: 608.392.3985
New Life Resource Center 1602 Park Ave. La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: 608.785.2377 newlifelacrosse.org M ARS H FIELD
Birthright 149 N. Central Ave. Marshfield, WI 54449 Phone: 715.384.4816 birthright.org/marshfield
Agape Women’s Center
Hannah Center (Maternity Home)
744 Moore St. La Crosse, WI 54603 Phone: 608.784.4966 lacrossepregnancy.com
212 E. 3rd St. Marshfield, WI 54449 Phone: 715.387.6300 hannahcenter.com
Birthright
M E NO M O NIE
115 5th Ave., S. #406 La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: 608.782.0373 birthright.org/la-crosse
Catholic Charities, Inc. 3710 E. Ave., S. La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: 608.782.0710 cclse.org La Crosse / Eau Claire / Wausau 800.227.3002
STEVEN S POI N T
First Choice Pregnancy Resource Centers 101 N. Division St. Stevens Point, WI 54481 Phone: 715.345.0280 firstchoiceprc.org VI R OQUA
Door of Hope Pregnancy and Family Care Center 304 N. Washington St. Viroqua, WI 54665 Phone: 608.637.8688 Emergency: 608.632.0938 mydoorofhope.org WAU SAU
Hope Life Center 605 S. 24th Ave., Ste. 20 Wausau, WI 54401 Phone: 715.843.4673 hopewi.org WI SCON SI N R A PI DS
Options for Women
First Choice Pregnancy Resource Centers
1002 8th St., E. Menomonie, WI 54751 Phone: 715.222.0777 optionsmenomonie.com
4011 8th St., S. Wisconsin Rapids, WI 54494 Phone: 715.345.0280 firstchoiceprc.org
P RAIRIE D U CH IEN
Pregnancy Helpline of Boscobel 1201 S. Beaumont Rd. Prairie du Chien, WI 53821 Phone: 608.326.1717 pregnancyhelplinewi.com 25
Gifts of the Holy Spirit
The Gift of Wisdom Seeing Things from God’s Perspective L
ooking back at my high school years, I witnessed my father manifesting the Gift of Wisdom on one particular occasion as he
showed me the depth of his love. I had made a very bad mistake and my parents found out, but my dad waited a few days before speaking to me about it. I know he must have prayed about it; I still remember his guidance to this day. The hours I spent waiting for this serious conversation
Viterbo University
were like torture, but allowed me time to think deeply about what I had
Sophomore English Education Major Hometown: Edgar, WI
done. The Gift of Wisdom, present in this situation, profoundly impacted me in many ways.
At the time of our Baptism, we receive sanctifying grace giving us the power to live and act under the prompting of the Holy Spirit through the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. In the Sacrament of Confirmation, the Holy Spirit strengthens the gifts we first received in Baptism. ANN Wisdom inspires us to worship God and to love Him as LANKFORD our Heavenly Father. His love leads us to know and do Director of the Office for what is right and good in specific circumstances. Catechesis and How should the Gift of Wisdom be exercised in our evEvangelization eryday life? Each day we face situations that require making important decisions regarding what we will say or do. Some decisions may be life-changing with permanent consequences; others are less significant. Many times, we just need help to move forward. Always, we need the Gift of Wisdom to guide us on the right path. How can we be sure that God will give us the Wisdom we need? Jesus knows all truth and will reveal the truth to those who ask Him. Deepening our relationship with Jesus through daily prayer will help us trust Him and realize that He always wants what is best for us. We can ask Him such things as: • • • • • •
How to resolve a disagreement Whether it is best to end a friendship What to say to a young person who is headed for trouble Where is the best place to send my child to school What career to pursue How to assist a woman in a difficult pregnancy
It is interesting to note that after receiving guidance from God, we may be fearful to move forward. Thankfully, the Gift of Wisdom also helps us to be docile in readily obeying inspirations from Him. In order to grow in Wisdom, we need to pray and ask God to increase it in us, and then exercise this vital gift in our lives. Wisdom allows us to do things in our lives that we could not do or say on our own. Let us be thankful for the Gift of Wisdom. It is an essential gift from God and helps us know the right direction, bringing with it peace and joy. 26
Miranda Myszka
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
“Wisdom is understanding the truths behind our Catholic Faith and applying them to choose what God desires.”
Amanda Latulippe Viterbo University Senior Nursing Student Hometown: St. Paul, MN
“The Gift of Wisdom assists me to see the world as God does, through a lens of love, to recognize the dignity and experience of those around me.”
Katherine Ross Viterbo University Senior Nursing Major Hometown: Stevens Point, WI “The Wisdom of the Holy Spirit works in my life by allowing me to see all others as children of God, to see situations as God’s will, in God’s eyes, even when I can’t find the positive within them, and to listen to God in my heart. I find the Wisdom of the Holy Spirit when something in my life doesn’t turn out the way I had planned but I trust that it was the will of God and see the situation with God’s eyes.”
Mitch Bunting University of Wisconsin – La Crosse Second year Biochemistry Major Hometown: Hanover, MN As I grow older, the Holy Spirit continues to shape my thoughts, decisions,
Leah Schwartz University of Wisconsin – La Crosse Second year Biology Major Hometown: Appleton, WI
Wisdom is the grace to discern the will of God in every situation through prayer, contemplation, and Faith in Christ and in His Church. Utilizing the Gift of Wisdom entails taking the time to understand the Gospel and the teachings of the Church and applying this knowledge to the situations we are confronted with in our daily lives.
and my actions. The Gift of Wisdom from the Holy Spirit has given me a desire to learn and grow in the truth of God. I call on the Holy Spirit to offer His Wisdom each morning by simply praying “Come Holy Spirit.” I am asking the Holy Spirit to guide me to God’s will, and to encourage me to glorify God in my everyday actions.
Prayer to the Holy Spirit
Jacqueline Sporie University of Wisconsin – La Crosse
Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Thy faithful and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love.
Second year Microbiology Major Hometown: Marinette, WI
V. Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created.
Wisdom surpasses intelligence. Wisdom is God’s gift that allows us to see reality from a Gospel perspective. It allows us to use our talents to act justly. At the end of the day, Wisdom keeps us standing upright with our feet planted to the ground, with our eyes looking up.
R. And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth. Let us pray. O God, Who didst instruct the hearts of the faithful by the light of the Holy Spirit, grant us in the same Spirit to be truly wise, and ever to rejoice in His consolation. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
27
YOUR COMMUNITY
TO DO
OFFICIALS Most Reverend William Patrick Callahan, D.D., Bishop of La Crosse, makes the following announcements: The Reverend Emmanuel Kofi Asamoah Bekoe, with the permission of the Most Reverend John Bonaventure Khofi, Bishop of Sekondi-Takoradi, Ghana, is appointed Associate Pastor at Saints Peter and Paul Parish in Independence and St. John the Apostle Parish in Whitehall, with residence at the Saints Peter and Paul Parish rectory in Independence, effective November 9, 2018. Deacon Kevin Ray, Deacon at St. Joseph Parish in Adams and Director of Deacon Personnel, is released from his responsibilities as Deacon at St. Joseph Parish in Adams and is appointed to serve as Deacon at St. Lawrence Parish in Wisconsin Rapids and St. Phillip Parish in Rudolph, effective November 30, 2018. He retains his appointment as Director of Deacon Personnel. The Reverend Clayton R. Elmhorst, Parochial Administrator of St. Mary Parish in Lyndon Station is appointed Pastor effective January 1, 2019. The Reverend Matthew N. Marshall, Parochial Administrator of St. Mary Parish in Coon Valley, Chaplain to the Hmong Community in the La Crosse area and Chaplain at Aquinas High School and Middle School in La Crosse, is appointed Pastor effective January 1, 2019. The Reverend Baskaran Sandhiyagu, Parochial Administrator of Holy Rosary Parish in Owen and Saint Bernard-Saint Hedwig Parish in Thorp, is appointed Pastor effective January 1, 2019. The Reverend Leo Johnson Stanislaus, Parochial Administrator of St. Anthony de Padua Parish in Loyal, St. Mary Help of Christians Parish in Greenwood and Holy Family Parish in Willard, is appointed Pastor effective January 1, 2019.
WANT MORE EVENTS? Go to diolc.org/calendar to see what’s happening in the Diocese of La Crosse or send a message to datebook@diolc.org and share what’s happening at your parish.
28
Webinar — Raise Them Well — Emotional Maturity • Jan. 7 | 7 p.m. to 8:15 p.m. • A healthy person controls his or her emotions and uses emotions the way God intends. This webinar will move beyond a discussion of feelings and reveal the beauty of God’s plan for emotional maturity. Register at: https://diolc.regfox. com/raise-them-well-emotionalmaturity. All You Can Eat Fish Fry — Eau Claire • Jan. 11 | 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. • Jan. 25 | 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. • Feb. 8 | 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. • Feb. 22 | 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. • St. Olaf Men’s Club will be holding their famous “All You Can Eat Fish Fries” again each Friday through April 2019 in the Father Agnew Parish Center. Married Love: Two Becoming One Retreat — Eau Claire • Jan. 11 - 12 | 5:30 p.m. • Contact: Deb Welch • Email: immaculateconceptionec@ gmail.com • Phone: 715.835.9935 • Cost: $100 per couple Burning Hearts Theology of the Body • Tomah, Jan. 12 | 9 a.m. to 3:45 p.m. • Wausau, Jan. 26 | 9 a.m. to 3:45 p.m. • This day-long seminar is for all adults to learn more about Theology of the Body. The first 50 people registered at each event are free. After, it’s $10 to register and includes lunch. Visit diolc.org/yya for more information or contact 608.791.2652 or pboyle@diolc.org. GIVEN Marriage Retreat — Marshfield • Jan. 12 | 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. • St. John the Baptist Catholic Church, 201 W. Blodgett St., Marshfield • GIVEN is a short, powerful retreat for couples to share, learn and celebrate marriage with other couples through engaging talks, lively music, adoration, prayer and reconciliation.
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
Pilgrimage for Life • Jan. 16 - 20 • The annual Pilgrimage for Life is open to people age 13 and up. Either join the group from your parish or contact the diocesan Office for Youth & Young Adult Ministry at 608.791.2652 or visit our website at diolc.org/m4l-reg. All You Can Eat Fish Fry — Richland Center • Jan. 18 | 4:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. • Feb. 15 | 4:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. • St. Mary Parish, 160 W. 4th St., Richland Center, WI • Held in the church basement andserved family-style. Married Love: Two Becoming One Retreat — Stevens Point • Jan. 19 | 7:30 a.m. to 6:15 p.m. • Contact: Kristi Vuorinen • Email: contact@pointdeanery.org • Phone: 715.303.7780 • Cost: $100 per couple Brains and Brawn — La Crosse • Jan. 26 | 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. • The Brains and Brawn Tournament will be held at Aquinas Middle and High schools. • Mass will follow at 6 p.m. Married Love: Two Becoming One Retreat – Richland Center • Jan. 26 | 9 a.m. to 6:15 p.m. • Contact: Cheryl Blankenship • Email: gescaa@mwt.net • Phone: 608.647.2621 • Cost: $75 per couple Catholic Schools Week • Jan. 27 - Feb. 2 • Catholic Schools Week is a time to celebrate the students, teachers, parents, and communities of our Catholic schools. We celebrate our faith in Jesus and His work within our classrooms, hallways and churches. Holy Happy Hour — Mauston • Jan. 29 | 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. • Feb. 26 | 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. • St. Patrick Parish is hosting Holy Happy Hours at State Street Tap. Our hope is to bring together Catholics to socialize and engage in meaningful conversations in a relaxed atmosphere. Fish Dinner — Durand (Lima) • Feb. 1 | 4:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. • Holy Rosary Parish, Lima, will be holding a fish dinner at the parish, N6235 County Road V, Durand.
Diaconate Discenrment Retreat — Maraton • Feb. 1 - 2 | 7 p.m. • A new deacon formation class will begin in the fall of 2019 and attendance at the Discernment Retreat is a prerequisite. For more on the diaconate and the discernment retreat, visit www.diolc.org/diaconate. • Email: ministries@diolc.org • Phone: 608-791-0161 Webinar — Raise Them Well — Intellectual Maturity • Feb. 4 | 7 p.m. to 8:15 p.m. • During this webinar, we will unravel the importance of intellectual maturity and how it is the path toward truth and goodness. • Register at www.diolc.regfox.com/ raise-them-well-intellectualmaturity Married Love: Two Becoming One Retreat — Chippewa Falls • Feb. 8 - 9 | 7 p.m. • Contact: Karin Hawkins • Email: holyghostfinance@gmail.com • Phone: 715.723.4890 • Cost: $70 per couple Married Love: Two Becoming One Retreat — La Crosse • Feb. 8 - 9 | 6:15 p.m. • Contact: Maggie Leon • Email: mnerickson95@gmail.com • Phone: 608.782.2953 • Cost: $75 per couple Dad’s Belgian Waffle Breakfast — Eau Galle • Feb. 9 | 7:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. • An all-you-can-eat breakfast at St. Henry Parish Center, N460 County Road D, Eau Galle. Married Love: Two Becoming One Retreat — Marshfield • Feb. 16 | 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. • Contact: Alanna Hart • Email: hart_alanna@yahoo.com • Phone: 715.650.7310 • Cost: $80 per couple
THE PORNOGRAPHY EPIDEMIC
What can we do to cure it? Pornography, a significant threat to marriage and family life, is a world epidemic bringing in an annual revenue of $13.3 billion in the United States alone. According to recent statistics, 47% of parents in the U.S. report that pornography is a problem in their home. Statistics show that 11 is the average age of first exposure to internet porn. Nearly 90% of children between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed porn while doing homework. Twenty-five percent of married women and 55% of married men say they view porn at least once a month. Further, in 56% of divorces today, a major contributing factor is one spouse’s continued use of pornography, and porn use has been correlated with a 300% increase in infidelity. The Diocese of La Crosse is responding with an anti-pornography campaign called Safe Haven Sunday, to be held on March 10 at all parishes in our diocese. Within the context of the Mass, priests will address the harms of pornography in an age appropriate and effective way. Parish leadership will provide resources to support and protect individuals, marriages and families in making all homes safe havens. Safe Haven Sunday is inspired by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ formal statement Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral Response to Pornography, in which they explain, “The use of pornography by anyone in the home deprives the home of its role as a safe haven and has negative effects throughout a family’s life and across generations.” The Office for Marriage and Family Life, under the direction of Alice Heinzen, is the main “It is time for the contact for the Safe Haven Sunday initiative. diocese to equip The Offices of Catholic Education, Catechesis parents with practical and Evangelization, Youth and Young Adult strategies that can Ministry, and Ministries and Social Concerns push back against are collaborating by delivering information the degradation and and resources that reveal the harms of porharms of pornography. nography. It’s time for families “Pornography is different now than it was to learn how to create 20 years ago,” said Heinzen. “Twenty years a safe haven in their ago, very few homes had an internet connechome.” tion. Now, the majority of homes are connected. In the past five years, the expansion of smartphones makes it possible to connect to the net 24/7. This type of access makes it easy to find and view porn at any age, at any time of the day for as long as you want. That’s why it is time for the diocese to equip parents with practical strategies that can push back against the degradation and harms of pornography. It’s time for families to learn how to create a safe haven in their home.” FOR MORE INFORMATION about Safe Haven Sunday, contact your local parish or the Office for Marriage and Family Life at familylife@diolc.org. TO READ Create in Me a Clean Heart in its entirety visit http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-lifeand-dignity/pornography/index.cfm 29
The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of La Crosse catholiclife.diolc.org 608.788.1524 JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2019 VOLUME 5: ISSUE 1 Bishop William Patrick Callahan PUBLISHER Jack Felsheim EDITOR Pamela Willer ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Amy Eichsteadt Jessica Enstad Alice Heinzen Ann Lankford Jimmy Lynch Father Samuel Martin Mary Kay McPartlin Chris Rogers Chris Ruff Sharon Sliwka Sherry Weddell Ben Williams CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Felician Sisters from Wisconsin and Illinois, with the Privincial Administratior from Beaver Falls, PA.
Micheal Lieurance Sharon Sliwka Ben Williams CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS
In thanksgiving for the
Felician Sisters Service After almost 144 years of service in the Diocese of La Crosse, the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Felix of Cantalice, affectionately called the Felician Sisters, closed St. Clare Convent in Polonia this past September and no longer have sisters serving in our diocese. St. Clare Convent became their first place of foundation in the United States when Mother Monica and her sisters came from Poland at the request of Father Joseph Dabrowski, then pastor of Immaculate Conception Parish in Polonia. A great debt of gratitude is owed to the Felician Sisters for their invaluable service, first to the many Polish immigrants and the Winnebago people. Their teaching and pastoral assistance helped set the foundations for the Faith in that region of our diocese. May God reward them!
FAITHCATHOLIC.COM Patrick M. O’Brien PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Elizabeth Martin Solsburg VICE PRESIDENT AND EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Kayla Simon GRAPHIC DESIGNER InnerWorkings PRINT MANAGEMENT For advertising information: Call 608.788.1524 Email pwiller@diolc.org
Catholic Life (USPS 17010) is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of La Crosse, 3710 East Ave. S., La Crosse, WI 54601. Published monthly except February, June, August, October. Send address changes to: Catholic Life, P.O. Box 4004, La Crosse, WI 54602 or email catholiclife@diolc.org. Periodical postage paid in La Crosse, WI or additional offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Catholic Life, P.O. Box 4004, La Crosse, WI 54602. ©2018 Catholic Life, Diocese of La Crosse.
The councilors of the order closing & praying over the doors to the rooms of the house.
Students of Sacred Heart school thanking the Felician Sisters and saying good bye on their final day.
DIOCESE OF LA CROSSE GUIDELINES FOR REPORTING INSTANCES OF CHILD ABUSE The Diocese of La Crosse, through its policies and procedures, seeks to provide a prompt, appropriate and compassionate response to reporters of sexual abuse of a child by any diocesan agent (employee, volunteers, vendors, religious or clergy). Anyone wishing to make a report of an allegation of sexual abuse should send that report to the Most Reverend William Patrick Callahan, Bishop of La Crosse, at the Diocese of La Crosse, P.O. Box 4004, La Crosse, WI 54602-4004. Alternatively, you can contact Mrs. Karen Becker, Victim Assistance Ministry, 608-519-8002 or kbecker@cclse.org. The reporting form is available through the Diocese of La Crosse Office of the Vicar for Clergy or on the diocesan website at: www.diolc.org. Individuals are also encouraged to take their reports directly to civil authorities. Copies of the diocesan policy are available through your local parish and on the diocesan website. If you have any questions about the Diocese of La Crosse and the implementation of the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, please contact Teresa Brown, Diocese of La Crosse, at (608) 791-2679; or tbrown@diolc.org.
30
Catholic Life • January/February 2019 • catholiclife.diolc.org
LAST WORD
Taking a cue from our grandparents O
ne of the many lessons I learned vicariously through teaching high school students was the powerful spiritual influence exercised by our
grandparents. Over and over again I read essays with remarks like “My Grandma prays the rosary everyday” and “My Grandpa goes to daily Mass and prays for us.” In a world that deems productivity the most important measure of value, leave it to kids to see with clear vision the beautiful witness of our elders.
When I was a child, trips to the assisted living facility where my Grandma Martin lived were always an adventure. The very first time we visited, my brother and I found the bathroom and couldn’t resist the urge to pull the string hanging in the shower. Dad sure was upset when a kind lady came running in worried that Grandma had taken a fall! Later on, when Grandma moved to the nursing home, our visits were no longer limited to just seeing her. Dad seemed to know everyone in the place and we quickly tired of the rather unpleasant smell and the strange antics of some of the residents. Only later on did I come to realize what Dad was up to ... he was teaching us about the love that Christ expects from His followers. Somehow my Dad knew that these were people who were often lonely and only wanted someone to take the time to say “hello.” Saint Teresa of Calcutta once observed that our nursing homes had every amenity but that many of their residents were lonely nevertheless. Hearing that, I realized that my Dad had gotten it right. While many pro-life articles focus on the way we treat our youngest and most vulnerable members of society, another barometer of spiritual health is how we view our elders. Year after year the terrible threat of euthanasia comes before our state politicians and more and more narrowly it is defeated. This shows how threatened the evil one is by our grandparents, especially by those who are living their Faith with generosity. My Grandma Breuer died two years ago in her 102nd year. She spent her last years faithfully praying the rosary with Mother Angelica on EWTN and attending Mass whenever she was able. These are the most formidable members of God’s army, especially when one considers that Our Lord conquered His ancient foe by prayer and suffering (ultimately dying and rising again). My high school students were right to observe that “My Grandma is my spiritual hero. She prays for me all the time.” My Dad taught us about loving the weak and the elderly because Christ said we love Him every time we love one of the least of His people. My Dad is elderly and weaker now, suffering from dementia that gradually is preparing him for Heaven. I hope God will give me the grace to love my Dad in his weakness – that would mean his lessons were not taught in vain.
FATHER SAMUEL MARTIN Pastor of St. John the Baptist Parish in Marshfield and Christ the King Parish in Spencer
The Catholic Diocese of La Crosse P.O. Box 4004 La Crosse, WI 54602
Catholic Schools Week 2019 JANUARY 27 — FEBRUARY 2
DIOCESE OF LA CROSSE FIND
A
C ATHOL IC
S C HO O L
NE AR
DIOLC.ORG/SCHOOLS/FIND-A-SCHOOL
YO U