Robin
O’Shaya
Bianca
The Haringey Young People’s Counselling Service provides the answers to the problems featured in Agony. You can call them on 020 8493 1019 or fill out a booking form at www.youthspace.haringey.gov.uk/health
My family has always been poor, but we live in wealthy area. All my friends have expensive clothes, but mine are all from a charity shop. So I started shoplifting. Last week I got caught and my family is furious with me. I know it’s wrong, but feeling inadequate is worse. I’m going to carry on stealing as I want to look cool like my friends. You’re unhealthily comparing yourself to your friends and feel that your self-esteem is tied up in your appearance. This is a common feeling and your friends are probably having similar pressures. Stealing is not the solution and could lead to you getting a criminal record and a prison sentence. These days there are popular high street stores that offer the latest trends at affordable prices. It is not a crime being poor and wealth does not define who you are. Try finding part-time work. And it might be worth speaking to a counsellor to help you gain a deeper sense of yourself.
Recently I’ve been getting a lot of grey hairs, and I’m only 15. My mum doesn’t let me dye my hair. I constantly wear beanies or bandanas and I am even considering shaving my head. I hate getting laughed at, and people are calling me ‘Gramps’. Some people do go grey a lot earlier, and there are a number of factors responsible. It’s worth talking to your GP about this. Try and take a different approach, see it positively – it makes you different. Talk to your parents again about dyeing your hair, find out their objections. At the moment it sounds like you want to hide it as people are laughing at you. Find a way to be proud of how you look by learning to accept it and feel more confident in your appearance. People will stop commenting, as they won’t get a reaction from you. Everyone goes grey, it’s just a case of when!
Everyone’s got problems – see the Directory on page 23 for a list of support services. 11