Debts before “Arranged” First Night! explicitfacts.com/2019/02/17/debts-before-arranged-first-night/ explicitfacts
February 17, 2019
Before jumping on the main issue, we need to first answer three important and relevant questions? 1. Celebration before Birth? Have you ever started celebrating before birth of baby and (most importantly!) knowing the sex (girl or boy) itself? No! Why? Because sometimes the chances of death of baby, delivering mother or both, or good health of both are itself a question, due to known medical complications. Moreover, the level of celebration always varies and starts only after knowing the SEX of the baby. 2. Celebration before IITs or Medical College Results? No! After hard work of both, the teen and the parents, the actual or even basic celebration starts only after successful clearance of India’s most prestigious Engineering and Medical Colleges, confirmed only after their results are declared! Sweets for social distribution are bought only after girl’s or boy’s name successfully figures in merit list. Actual Question. So, when we don’t celebrate before the actual results of any major events of our life are out, then why do we need to spend our life’s savings in celebrating before our Daughter’s or Son’s “Wedding’s First Night”? Calculation by Birth. In India, as soon as a family blessed with a baby, immediately, the imagination shoots up to the marriage of the new-born 1/19
baby! If its A Boy? then “God is Great! Now we just need to sit and relax”. The dowry management will not be an issue and marriage expenditure will be managed (sucked) from the girl’s family. If it’s A Girl? No further imagination required! Just start feeling as if God has cheated you and start preparing for next kid (With a hope that next baby shall be a boy and the scope of hard work for managing dowry and marriage expenses even out!). But still major questions, which hits family’s mind…. What if the dowry is asked then how much? How to manage for that dowry? How the marriage expenditures will be managed?
Facts Check Tirupati Priest’s Dare Devil Stunt. An Indian sweet maker made sure his daughter truly was the golden girl on her wedding day by covering her in gold jewellery worth more than Rs 4 Crore. The man who was not named nevertheless came under fire after it was revealed he needed a police guard to protect him and his daughter as they turned up covered in gold for the wedding in India’s southern Andhra Pradesh state.
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The Great Ambani Saga. According to report in NewsX, the estimated cost of Ms. Isha Ambani and Anand Piramal’s wedding is around Rs 724 crore ($100 million). Interestingly, this equals to the wedding cost of Prince Charles and Diana, Princess of Wales in 1981, 37 years ago. Meanwhile, earlier, the Ambani’s hosted a pre-wedding event in Udaipur which was attended by international celebs like Beyonce, former First Lady of US Hillary Clinton, several Bollywood stars and business tycoons. If someone has money to spend, then NO SHALL HAVE ANY PROBLEM AT ALL. Its their money and they have full right to spend it the way they want. They have toiled to accumulate that money!
Actual Scenario
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As soon as the girl and boy decide to go ahead for marriage (more in cases of Forced Arranged Marriages), immediately families on both sides swing into action. A virtual film set starts shooting up. Girl’s father is by default made the producer of that marriage film. Boy’s father is director, who pulls most of the strings. Boy’s Mother starts preparing herself for new entry in her life, in form of Daughter in Law. Girl’s mother just hides herself behind the scenes as Spotboy. The main calculations for the preparations starts, as mentioned below (Only basic will be touched to keep this article short):(a) Celebration of Engagement. Venue setup, buffet layout and most important the engagement rings.
(b) Marriage Ceremony The main marriage ceremony and other related ceremonies like mehendi, sangeet, etc which varies with families ot families are the major source of emotional and financial stress. Venue set up (Again!), Buffet Layout (Again), Mandap, Podium with thrones for bride and groom etc… Mind you in some families the marriages preparations and actual ceremonies stretches to almost one to two months! Now if we get to on ground reality, one can easily witness that while performing all these ceremonies, families of girl (to some extent family of the boy too) start spending money like water. Irrespective of the meticulous planning any family tries with, the money expended always shoots up beyond the existing sum of money in hand. Indians are one of the world’s largest consumers of gold, spend huge amounts in buying gold jewellery for family weddings, and recently several wealthy Indians have been seen sporting shirts made out of solid gold thread.nn 4/19
Guests too. Not only both families, even the people who just need to attend these marriage ceremonies, merely as “Guests�, also start wondering about the requirements for the D Day. Like, whether its Summers or Winters, so as to decide for clothes for whole family. Then they realise that their kids have overgrown the last fancy dresses, they bought for them.
Gift is next boomerang. In case the family decides to give Money or Shagun in fancy envelope, then another million questions crops up about how much? Some people even maintain a register, where the details of gift or
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money paid by the host family, when they attended marriage ceremony this sidde. So, in records exists, then its a straightforward game of Tits For Tats! Or else keep imagining about the gift or money presented by them. Total Expenditure. If we calculate the amount of money expenditure from girl’s family, boy’s family and guests attending all the wedding ceremonies for various reasons and add them up, then no one need to imagine the amount of cash busted even before the Commencement of First Night!
Mind you, the First Night, the basic litmus test of the newly wed couple with respect to the future compatibility of whole life is yet to happen! But, whole family’s cash in hand is gone? Not a single penny is left in the hand of bride and groom! Every penny spent just evaporates in thin air! Bollywood Influence. Bollywood Movies like Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, by renowed Film Director Mr. Sooraj Barjataya, has been Bollywoood BlockBuster of all times. The setup, clothes, jewellery and what not was copied by almost every Indian Family, to the best possible way. But by spending money for that marriage ceremony in that movie, the film crew had earned Crores of profit. But by copying the marriage theme as shown in the movie, many stupid families had got into debts and still counting!
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Destination Weddings. A destination wedding is an opportunity for couples to celebrate their marriage at a gorgeous destination of their choosing away from home. Our couples get married all over the world, in stunning locales like the Caribbean, Mexico, Hawaii and Europe. If someone has money, like Bollywood celebrities then no imagination is required for chalk of their destination wedding. The industry of “Destination Wedding� is a different game altogether and it costs a Bomb! Tricks of Arrange Marriage While arranging marriages, first the parents of girl and boy, meet each other. Lot of issues are discussed like job, educational qualifications, future plans etc. In case both families are rich then best show is put up by the both parties. In case one of them is rich then the lesser rich party will try to project very rosy pictures.
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Money Matters! Now when this issue is finalised then topic of discussion is diverted to amount of money to be spent for engagement and marriage ceremony (and dowry too) and who will pay for what? The Confused Bride! Double Standards. Through out the girl’s life in India Sub Continent, they are brought up with lots of restrictions, with respect to their freedom for social movement, money in hand, choice of education, willingness to do jobs, friends etc. Most of the time, instead of spending on girl’s education and other life enhancement activities, girl’s father prefers to save money for putting up a grand show on her marriage celebration. So, most of the time, the girl is confused with sudden change of stand from a miser ass to extravagant asshole! The same father, who used to ask hundreds of questions for handing over money for her requirements, suddenly openly spends his life’s savings in tune millions for her marriage? Is this fatherly love justified? No! It’s a cowardice of the soul inside her father’s body who is more bothered about his fake social image than what is good for his daughter! We are sorry to use the terms like ass for girl’s father, but this is the truth. Bride Father’s Historic Speech. We strongly feel that in case of forced arranged and expensive show in marriages, father of the bride SHOULD tell her (his daughter!) just before her “First Night”:“My Dear Daughter! Although I always counted the money, before giving them to you for your basic expenses, but today, I didn’t count any money while spending on your marriage ceremony with a Arranged Husband you will sleep with now! 8/19
Whenever you asked any money from me, I had always asked you many counter questions (so as to be sure that you will not be wasting it), but I never asked any question to your Arranged Husband’s Family, while spending for expensive gifts (and under the table dowry)! Although I didn’t spend money in lakhs for your education, but just now I have busted almost Millions of rupees in celebrating your marriage! My Dear Daughter! Today I am asking you to stop worrying about any future requirements because I have spent Millions on your marriage celebration and dowry/ gift to your Arranged “In-laws”! I can assure you that you will not have to worry about any thing from this moment on. In case you need anything, please request your “In Laws”. So, please relax and prepare for the next big game with your Arranged Husband, who is eagerly waiting for you with his pants down! BEST OF LUCK MY DAUGHTER! BEST OF LUCK!”
Loans In most of the Indian families, (Special mentioned to girl’s families), the while preparing and executing lavish marriage ceremonies, the family ends up getting under the burden of loans. Families seeking marriage loan is widely accepted norm of Indian Society and banks find it very comfortable to clear such loans. Many a times, the real life hardships and financial burden starts after the marriage ceremony gets over. In case, the family has more than one daughter, then even God gets stressed with this Great Post Marriage Issues. But the question remains unanswered. Is such marriage loans worth risking your life? Girl’s Family’s Blues 9/19
After the marriage gets over, the actual problems starts from the next moment itself. All expenditures are calculated, existing marriage loan from banks and relatives are awaiting for repayment. Now what to do? Parents are in last end of their career or already retired. Pension is 50% of the total salary (wherever applicable) family had earned till date. Whole balance part of life is in front of both parents, in addition to various life style ailments like Diabetes, Depression, Cancer etc, which will also require good amount of money till last breath.
Nuclear Way. With family slowly slowly shifting to nuclear form, after few years of marriage, slowly the son or daughter shift to form their own nuclear family. The life savings already busted in marriage celebrations! Now the fun starts! Real Life Incident. In a shocking and first such incident, a head priest of Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanams (TTD) had confessed to stealing ornaments from the temple to marry his daughters. The accused, identified as Kattu Venkata Ramana Dikshitulu, was the head priest of Lord Sri Kodanda Ramaswamy temple in Tirupati. The incident came to light after the priest was questioned by TTD officials when they found ornaments worth nearly Rs 10 lakh missing during the stock-taking of the temple jewellery. “I know I have committed a crime. I have three daughters and poverty forced me to do this,” the priest said. Even agents of Gods are not spared from this form of stupidity and harsh realities of social double standards! Bride’s Still Stressed?
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Natural Gift. Girls are supposed to be very emotional about their parents (especially father) and are blessed with additional antenna, which can sense even those signals, which appears to be irrelevant for the boys! Nude Show! Now the marriage ceremony is over! Millions already busted. Every penny is spent in front of the bride. After living financially constrainted life upto marriage, her father crash opens his bank account, for marriage prearations. Her soul starts crying in pain. She also knows that whatever her father is doing or has done, is under the infleunce of social pressure, he could not withstand. After marriage gets over, she moves with her husband, but still she keep getting worried about well being of her parents. She knows that her parent’s life savings have been burnt in her marriage ceremonies and now, with ever increasing cost of living and existing medical ailments, their life will be more tougher.
Forced Expenditure. In case the expenditure for marriage celebration is forced by boy’s family on girl’s family, then problem further escalates. Since, girls are forced to keep quiet for all sorrounding issues, in bottom of her heart she is very clear on list of people responsible in forcing her parents to spill out their pocket, more than their existing means. Although, the sheep remain silent all through the marriage celebration, but she remembers and after some time accountibility starts functioning, where all responsible people are punished. Husbands are generally spared. But the life starts taking toll on boy’s parents. After 5 to 10 years of marriage, the result starts getting visible, with splitting of son and his parents. Bride’s Withdrawal. Instead of enjoying her new life, specially mentioned to girls shifting abroad after marriage, (in some cases even during honeymoon!), she starts wondering about her parents and their post marriage financial hardship. Since, her husband and his family have their own lives to struggle, they never try to get back to girl’s parents to find out 11/19
if they are ok. It is mostly assumed that they are fine and will manage. So, she has no one in her new home to share her emotional blues and thus suffers alone in isolation, without any clarity about financial status of her parents. More Girls? In case, the bride has got younger sister or sisters, then the nude dance starts. She has seen the dance in her own wedding and can very well imagine what will be happening next. Problem Escalates. Slowly, the bride starts withdrawing herself from active marriage life and husband has got all the reasons to get confused. Sometimes, husbands starts feeling that her Arranged Wife is an idiot, who has got some psychological (resulting in physical problems) and starts feeling the unseen pain in his own life. This situation is very confusing for both of them. Infact for everyone. Few More Questions. 1. Which religious book or constitution dictates about the requirement of parents to spend millions of money for marriage celebrations? No idea! 2. What exactly have or will your parents gain, by spending Millions in marriage? No clue! 3. Will such marriages guarantee better sex drive and pleasures for the couple? 4. Will such extrvaganza help the couple in maintaining a luxurious life? 5. How will the attendance of more than 300 guests attended your marriage ceremonies, where they devoured the food with the rate of Rs. 400 per plate, help the newly wedded couple in good future? Many people will say that for happy marriage blessings of all loved ones are required. Very True! But will that Sacred Blessings be showered on the new couple only when Millions are busted in Marriage and Rs. 400+ (We have even seen Rs. 5000/- in some cases) Per Plate of Food is served? The final undigested food consumed during marriage will have to go down the shitpot only! No one can carry that expensive food in stomach for more than one night! 6. Out of all the guests attended your marriage ceremony, how many of them were actually known to you? Did you even remember their names, while seeking their blessings on Marriage Podium?
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7. Does someone in any one from girl’s or boy’s family ever consider the money requirement by the newly wed couple for the life after their first night? 8. Is it not a goood idea to give money to newly wedded couple to spend money on their honeymoon or future life? May be they wish to have a luxury car or exotic and extended honeymoon! 9. Is it not a good idea to give the major amount of the money available with the both families to hand it over to newly weded couple, so that they dont have to worry about money for the long time to come? 1. Does the existing marriage malpractices shows about the social immatrity of one of the oldest country or civilisation of the World! First Night Blues! (What If?) In case of arrange marriage, the above mentioned activities just happens in a hope and anticipation that “Everything Will be OK”. But, what if the “All is NOT OK?” Now comes the result time. For that sake we need to ponder over some possibilities as outcome of First Night, after busting of Millions of money on marriage ceremony. Here are few very relevant but unsolvable issues:Incompetency. What if, during your first night, your arranged partner turns out to be a impotent or sexually incapable person or with different sexual orientation (who decided to remain silent all through out the marriage period just to avoid social embarrassment)? God may save the victim! This has actually happened to many girls!
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Confused Orientation. Now let us suppose, the girl or boy prefer to remain silent about his or her sexual preferences, then “May God save the spouse!” We are sure that hell will break loose on First Night itself.
What if the girl or the boy are forced into ths marriage and are actually involved emotionally or physically or both with someone else, but preferred to remain silent all through out the extravagant Marriage Ceremony just to avoid Social and Family Consequences? Let us suppose, you realise the grave mistake of busitng life’s savings by parents on both sides, already committed. Then what? Nothing! Carry on with life like a Donkey! Positive Example In these days of ostentatious marriages with even the middle-class families spending lakhs of rupees, an Indian Administrative Service (IAS) Officer 14/19
from Andhra is setting an example for others. Patnala Basanth Kumar, Commissioner Visakhapatnam Metropolitan Region Development Authority (VMRDA) will be spending just Rs 36,000 on the marriage of his son. The families of bridegroom and bride had total expenditure of Rs 18,000 each on the ceremony, including the lunch for the guests. In 2017, Basanth Kumar had also performed his daughter’s marriage with equal simplicity by spending just Rs 16,100.People say he is setting an example at a time when many families are wasting huge money on marriages, which have become occasion for vulgar display of wealth. Why Can’t We too? Now again a million dollars question arises. 1. If above mentioned IAS officer can show maturity by spending Rs. 36,000/- and Rs. 18,000/- on his son’s and daughter’s marriages, respectively, then what stops us from following his footsteps? 2. Are we too idiots to understand the basic mathematics and requirements of newly wedded couple? 1. Do we require to crack Indian Administrative Services Examination to understand this basic mathematics of life! Parents Please Stop! After marriage and getting blessed with kids, the life starts with new problems, like buying a new house (so home loans), vehicle for all to move together (vehicle loan), education of kids (education loan). Life had been tough. The father need to think before buying a bunglow, a luxury car or sending kids to premium schools, but suddenly, when the kids achieve marriageable age, the whole thought process changes. Suddenly both parents become too extravagant. Money spending just looses it limits. Now when the kids are educated, earning good in their job, have their own social circle, then why this requirement of busting the life’s savings on the marriage of daughters and sons even exist? They are earning, they are grown ups, they have their own dreams to enjoy their marriage and life subsequently. Then why can’t we leave the couple alone. Let them decide on very basics and “Once in a Life Time Event” issues themselves like:1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
When to marry? How to marry? Where to marry? Where to have honeymoon? How much to spend in marriage?
Old Mistakes. During the old times of parent’s marriage times, nothing was asked from them. But that doesnot mean that present day parents, also force their fake reputation on their kids. Trust your girl or boy. Today, most of the girls and boys are well15/19
educated. With social media, in its best form, they are well-informed. With graduation degree and job in hand, they know how to deal with life and people around them. Let them differentiate between right and wrong, using their own wits. Explicit Truth. You can force your daughter or son to get married to partner of your choice, you can bust million in celebrating their marriage, but you cannot force them to be happy, after the confused marriage. If you know that couple need to manage their married on their own, then why not let them decide their marriage celebration too. You, yourself are old, in fag end of your life cycle and will not survive more than 15 to 20 years (max) after their marriage. They have to manage their marital life and resultant financial expenses, for almost 40 to 50 years! So, save your hard earned money for your’s and wife’s retirement life from wasting in unwanted marriage celebrations and enjoy! For Newly Wed Couple Study hard and be Financial Independent. You can live life in your terms only when you have money in hand to play around. Or else keep looking at your papa’s face and marry his choice of donkey or ——-! Think Please! Use your brain! By the time you are in marriageagble age, you have completed your education, earning well in your job and have lot more flexibility in life. Your parents have already busted their life’s savings in bringing you up from infancy to a grown up and educated male or female. Now your body is ready to get mingle. You are very much capable to produce a child! You know what you want. Just go for it! Don’t wait for the parents to open their retirement savings too, for getting you married. When you grow old, you will surely realise the importnace of retirement savings, which happens to be very unpredictable as its impossible to find out when and under what circumstances, one will actullay die! In case your parents burn their retirement saving in your marriage, you also not around them after marriage and they happen to live longer with medical ailments, requiring medical expenses! Then What? How to Enjoy? First Night Sex. It’s a known fact that a man or a woman has everything in life like, education, money because of job, social links etc. before marriage itself(Assuming that the girl and boy never hadpre marital sex). It’s a very safe assumption that GIRL OR A BOY IS MARRIED TO EACH OTHER SO THAT THEY CAN UTILISE THEIR OVER RIPE BODIES IN ENJOYING SEX. The most important activity of human life.
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The main Litmus Test for thie evolution happens to be First Night. Both Girl and Boy have eagerly waited for this test, since the time they watched the “First Porn Movie of their life�
Honeymoon. The couple should be worried about honeymoon and expenses required for the best experience. Instead of wasting money on engagement rings, expensive gowns and suits, venue setup, buffet layout or destination wedding as a whole, the couple should insist on financial help for an exciting paradises of this planet. Just get lost in those exquisite locations. Explore new locations, food, people, culture, clothes etc. You never know that this honeymoon may be the last time, both of you will get alone time (What if the girl gets pregnant from honeymoon adventures?)
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After Honeymoon. The couple should only be worried about the life ahead of marriage ceremony. There are more important issues to look for like requirement of the following:1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.
Home (and home loan). Cars (and therefore car loan). How to add up more spice in life? Weekends outings. Professional aspirations of either one or both. Family planning. Maximum extract from evolution called SEX. Tax Planning. Health Goals. Expectations and planning for next generation. Most importantly retirement plan. Retirement is something, which cannot be worried about only on the last moment. It’s a slow process, where both husband and wife need to sit down and set out their retirement goals.
Life is very tricky and can toss the new couple off the target, if the new marital game is not played well, with meticulously and combined planning, by both husband and wife as a single unit. They have to think like one soul, utilised their brains together and try to complement and supplement each other’s weakness of life.
Future Prediction We hope that one day will come when unwarranted marriage related expenses will be shunted by one and all and with anyone defaulting with unrialistic marriage expenditure, Income Tax raid will be an automated outcome. 18/19
Marriage overexpenditure will be looked down upon. Marriage will be simpler and more of a union of two souls than a social nude dance! Girls will have more relaxed married life, with less guilt of busting her parent’s life long savings in her marriage celebrations, further reducing the future marital disharmony! Final Word. Life itself is too complicated and full of surprises. Lets not complicate it further with our own stupidity! Also, marriage is more relevant with great sex and soul to soul compatibility than unwarranted social nude show in form of extrvagant marriage ceremonies! Humble Request. If you have reached this far with our article, then we can assume that you actually agree with our research. We have put in our heart and soul in researching about this issue and compiling it in the form of an article. If you like our efforts, then please like and share it. If you have anything to say, then please leave your comment below or on our Facebook Page “Explicit Facts� at www.facebook.com/ExplicitFacts0, so that we can improve our work in future. Sharing this article with your loved ones on Whatsapp, facebook and other social media platforms, may help some soul to fight this old age malpractises. Advertisements
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