Cleveland Scene - January 31, 2024 by Chava Communications

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CONTENTS

JANUARY 31 - FEBRUARY 13, 2024 • VOL. 54 No 15 Upfront .......................................6

Music ........................................21

Feature .....................................10

Livewire....................................22

Get Out ..................................... 14

Savage Love..............................24

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Eat ............................................ 17 Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Publisher Denise Polverine Editor Vince Grzegorek Editorial Music Editor Jeff Niesel Staff Writer Mark Oprea Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Stage Editor Christine Howey Advertising Sales Inquiries (216) 505-8199, scene@clevescene.com Senior Multimedia Account Executive Shayne Rose Creative Services Creative Services Manager Samantha Serna Creative Team Jack Spatafora, Joe Frontel, Pedro Macias, Ana Paula Gutierrez

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CLEVELAND ARCHITECTS HOPE TO BUILD INFLATABLE HOUSING FOR THE MOON AND MARS. OUT OF MUSHROOMS IT COSTS ROUGHLY $10,000 to send a can of Coke into orbit. About $90,000 more if you want to drink it on the Moon. A million to pop it open on Mars. That right there, you could say, is Christopher Maurer’s quintessential problem, and one of NASA’s several conundrums in its Artemis era: how to pack as light as possible, yet smart enough to still allow humans to live and work safely on other planets. Maurer, the 44-year-old founder of Ohio City-based architecture firm Redhouse Studio, believes he and his team of three have a plausible solution, one that has received funding and support from NASA’s Innovative Advanced Concepts program since at least 2017, to one of the biggest questions: How to build housing. Their answer: Not balsa-light wood. Or magical concrete. But shipping inflatable, dome-shaped huts that are insulated by selfsustaining material grown from mushrooms. “It’s basically like grow-yourown-house,” Maurer said, walking around the hidden warehouse studio space of Mycohab, the Redhouse arm focused on mushroom research. From a pile, Maurer picked up a mahoganycolored brick that weighed as much as a bottle of wine. “You just add water.” Mushrooms, as any fungiattuned person can attest to, are having their moment. Chaga and Lion’s Mane species are battling coffee as a caffeine substitute. Magic mushroom therapy sessions are sprouting up across Oregon and Colorado. (And maybe Ohio some day.) Fungi is being used as a leather substitute, a Styrofoam alternative, even as a substrate for electronic wiring. And now, according to Redhouse and their cheerleaders at NASA, mushroom biomaterial— cutely nicknamed “mycocrete” by

some—could be used to construct the dwellings and laboratories where members of the Artemis Mission study moon rock and hang their helmets. Sometime, Maurer predicts, “in the 2030s.” Redhouse’s project, currently in its second phase, revolves around tenets of minimalism and speed. Maurer, along with partner Armando Cañas and Rolando Perez, who works at NASA Ames, experiments routinely with producing mycelium, fungal threads that full mushrooms grow from, at its most bare bones. That mycelium needs what’s called a bioreactor to grow full mushroom material, so Maurer’s team is lately experimenting with superlight packets of hydrogel—a pulverized seaweed that essentially grows that hut’s insulation from the inside out. The upshot is that this stuff is almost indefinitely sustainable, or at least it wants to be. For proof, Maurer points to the three-anda-half-square-mile Humongous Fungus growing in Malheur National Forest, Oregon, often considered one of the largest organisms on the planet. “You can go with grams of that algae species. And then it would grow into a larger thing,” Maurer said, holding up a malleable container that looked like a blue ice cube tray. “From one cell, you could grow millions of tons, theoretically. “Same with the mycelium,” he added. “From one spore, you can grow millions of tons, theoretically, because it just keeps. It’ll just grow.” Although some studies have considered a mycocrete brick to be just as strong, and even stronger, than its concrete cousin, mushroom building material has its obvious setbacks. It has a huge buffer time—constructing a fully-finished hut, the kind that Redhouse wants to see occupied

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

Photo by Mark Oprea

Armando Cañas, head of construction at Redhouse Studio, holds up a brick of building material made from mushrooms.

by NASA operators on the Moon, would take weeks to months before it’s fully inhabitable. And scientists and biomimicrists aren’t certain if the mycocrete that Maurer and team are experimenting with will actually behave like it does on earth. (It might not grow at all on Mars.) It’s why the Mycohab team plans on taking a prototype hut into the gargantuan vacuum chamber at the Glenn Research Center. And then, examine the impact of microgravity on the International Space Station. Then, the Moon itself. That is, if the funding comes through. Maurer said that they would need at least $15 million to conduct a full-scale demonstration of the mushroom huts. For a thousand-ton fungi operation that would make it to outer space, the team said they’d need $150 million. We’re bound to see Mycohab’s potential before then. After spending years researching sustainable housing across Africa, Maurer will be ribbon-cutting the world’s first mycelium building in Namibia in February. “Everything we’re doing, I think, in my mind, has applications for Earth,” Rolando Perez, a 39-year-old bioengineer from California, told Scene. “And that’s one of my main motivations: spending resources, focus and time working on a project that’s for

space. But technologies we might develop that could benefit Earth.” As Perez operates a test inflation of their current prototype hut in an air-controlled space, Maurer and Cañas continue work for Redhouse in the quarters of their main studio, which is painted, one must say, a bright red fitting for Martians. After aiding Perez, Cañas returned to his architect’s desk to review dozens of pages of plans for a non-mushroom structure. “It’s going to be a roastery in Bath, Ohio,” he said, flipping pages. Maurer walked over to the table to observe. He laughed at the wild changing of gears. “Hey, we still do terrestrial work, too,” he said. – Mark Oprea

Updated Plans for Lorain Midway Project Draw Praise, Complaints As the latest plans for the Lorain Midway debuted last Thursday night for public feedback, reaction was distinctly split between those excited for the protected bike lane and streetscape redo and business owners who voiced complaints about the plan to drastically decrease the number of on-street parking spots. The updated concept renderings, which were unveiled at Urban Community School off Lorain Avenue and 49th Street,

Courtesy City of Cleveland

showed off what two miles of the street could look like by 2026 or 2027: driving lanes tightened to 12 feet; brand new ramps and road aprons; widened sidewalks and tree planters. And, of course, the prime mover of the plan since the beginning: a two-way, eight-foot wide bike lane that would run—separated from car traffic!—from the Hope Memorial Bridge at West 20th to the West 65th intersection in front of Michael Zone Recreation Center. “It was decided long ago that bikes and pedestrians are obviously a priority on Lorain,” Douglas Blank, the associate vice president at Michael Baker International, the firm who designed the city’s plans, said. “To try and to move the curb lines and improve the streetscape.” But making over Lorain, with its overwhelming hardscape, into a fashionable cyclist and pedestrian-friendly corridor comes with an unavoidable rub: having to deal with the consequences of doing away with on-street parking spaces. That two-mile stretch of Lorain currently has 335 on-street spaces; the Midway could repurpose anywhere from a quarter to a half of them. It was a prime topic at Thursday’s meeting, where city planners mingled with bike advocates, local residents, and stakeholders. It’s a problem the city is approaching with an optimist’s eye. In their minds, the $30 million project, for which $12 to $15 million is currently raised, would help incentivize more cyclists and walkers to trek down a much safer Lorain. (Leaving, of course, their cars at home.) “People drive recklessly. The way Lorain is right now, it’s very unorganized,” Jacob VanSickle, the director of Bike Cleveland, told Scene at the event. “Two lanes in each direction with parking sides full. But a lot of times people aren’t parked there, so people treat it like four lanes. I mean, I biked here today. The way it currently is—it’s horrible.” Businesses eyeing the poster boards marked with Post-It criticisms balked at a different horror. “Oh, you can tell it’s a 10-yearold project,” Jonah Oryszak, the owner of Heart of Gold off 41st told Scene at the event. “I think the neighborhood has grown so much that it really doesn’t need a project like this as it’s drawn.” Though he supports a general street redesign, Oryszak can’t help

Updated plans for the Lorain cycle track

but consider the “realities” of how his clientele order food in 2024, whether it be through DoorDash or from a curb-lane pickup. He fears the Midway being constructed— and removing hundreds of onstreet spaces—without plans to add a parking garage, or two, would be disastrous. “Seventy percent of my customer base is from the suburbs,” he added. “I get calls all the time: ‘We’re coming here. Where’s your parking lot?’ ‘Well, we don’t have one.’ And click.” The same concern worries Karen Small, the owner of Juneberry Table, about a block away from Heart of Gold. According to Blank, the Midway built as conceived, whether needing a full repaving or partial, would require at least 18 months of construction. Small is anxious about that downtime, when Lorain Avenue would become a one-way. And to deal with the drop in car traffic? “I wish I had a good answer for that. I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe it’s a Covid situation? We do delivery? Catering? I just think it’s unfair to change our whole business plan just to tear up the street.” City planners like Matt Moss and Sarah Davis said that future iterations of the Midway will consider drop-off zones and parking agreements with private lots (like the one at McCafferty Health Center off 42nd St.), along with meeting one-on-one with folks like Small and Oryszak to consider more of the retail view. “One thing we hear a lot is like, ‘If you take away the parking here, how am I going to be able to run in and grab something quick and leave?’” Moss said. “And again, that’s why we’re trying to figure out how to maximize street parking while still achieving all the other goals of the project.” And maybe the parking demand isn’t as steep as businesses believe it is. Both Davis and Moss

engineered a parking study of Lorain last year, to find exactly the ins and outs and how to respond to them. “The highest occupancy was 47 percent on the weekend,” Davis recalled. “During the week, it’s always below 30 percent. So while there is a big change in parking, we also know that having open space on the roadway is another thing in itself.” Blank and Cleveland’s Mobility Team, which includes Davis, Transportation coordinator Dave Bass and Complete & Green Streets coordinator Phil Kidd, plan to have an updated version of the Lorain Midway complete by the summer. With that, they’ll be looking to federal grants to close the $18 million gap to reach construction phase. – Mark Oprea

Is Cleveland Getting Direct Flights to Costa Rica This Year? It’s possible—probable?—that Clevelanders could be flying straight to San José, Costa Rica in 2024. That is to say, the Central American country could be the next non-stop international destination out of Hopkins Airport. The news was hinted at in a recent story on Costa Rica’s record 2023 tourism numbers from the Tico Times, a Costa Rican Englishlanguage paper. Juan Santamaría International Airport CEO Ricardo Hernández was quoted in the article on reasons why 2024 will be even better: “With new direct services from cities like Cleveland, St. Louis, Austin, and others commencing just this year,” Hernández told the newspaper, “we foresee strong continuation in arrivals from our core North American markets.” Reached by email, a Cleveland Hopkins spokesperson said: “We have nothing to confirm at this time.”

What would be CLE’s debut direct flight to Central America would be another boon for an airport seemingly on the upswing. Early last year, after a momentous deal with the city, AerLingus began operating non-stop flights to Dublin, Cleveland’s first bridge to Europe in about two decades. And in November, Frontier, one of CLE’s busiest operators, announced it would be flying straight to Montego Bay, Jamaica, beginning March 9. A brand new crew base, with 110 pilots, 250 attendants and 50 maintenance workers, will be nestling at Hopkins soon. An airport official told Cleveland.com, following Frontier’s announcement, that 400 passengers daily fly from Northeast Ohio to the Caribbean. The possibility of Costa Rica could help to continue to reshape Cleveland’s image as a global travel city, which was wounded after United disbanded its hub here in 2014. Thirty-five non-stop flights — internationally to Toronto, Cancun, Punta Cana and Dublin—doesn’t even bring Cleveland into a top 50 city count. Indianapolis’ airport offers straight trips to 47 cities; Cincinnati’s to 49; and Detroit’s, a major hub for Delta, to 119.

Hollie Strano Will Return to WKYC Soon After recently sharing an update on her journey of sobriety, Hollie Strano this week announced that she will soon be returning to the air on WKYC for the first time since November. Viewers, fans and supporters have been sending her cards and messages of support, she said on social media, and, “These beautiful gestures from you helped ease the shame and guilt that I continue to work through, and to my critics, I hear you and I understand.” Strano pleaded guilty to a single

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DUI charge following her arrest and crash on Thanksgiving Day, when she hit a utility pole while going 70 mph in a 35 mph zone with a BAC of 0.244. “I have been guided to a quote from Brené Brown. She defines shame as ‘the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belongingsomething we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection,’” she said. “So I will work through this with connection… to my new, sober community, to my loved ones (you each know who you are), to those of you who have shared brave stories and humbling support, I am grateful.” WKYC GM Mickie Byrne confirmed in a statement to Cleveland.com that Strano will be returning to work at the station. “Yes, Hollie will be returning to WKYC sometime in the next few weeks. Her priority, and ours, is her health,” she said. What that looks like remains to be seen. Strano previously hosted a series on mental health and her battle with anxiety; a series on her battle with alcohol seems likely. February, as it turns out, is also a sweeps month. “I am taking care of myself first and foremost and can’t wait to see you,” Strano shared. – Vince Grzegorek

The Cleveland Music Settlement’s Creative Aging Ensembles Are Giving Older Adults a New Rhythm Harold Deweaver has choir practice three times a week. When he’s not practicing 1960s pop songs or turn-of-the-century spirituals, you might find him playing Beethoven as a secondchair violinist. Or at home running through his major scale. And none of this mind you is for college credit. Deweaver is 65, and a student and performer in the Music Settlement’s Creative Aging program, a suite of orchestras and ensembles dedicated to teach the 55 and over crowd music performance. And it’s not just senior edutainment: the Settlement’s four groups are designed for, as they say, “lifelong learners” seeking an earnest exploration of music theory and principles. “It’s tough sometimes,” Deweaver said, after he finished up practice with his fellow Settlement Singers on Wednesday morning.

“You have to have a love for the music.” Taking this love and musical rigor serious for aging adults led the Music Settlement, this month, to create a brand new Creative Aging Department, as to reflect the national need to cater to the U.S.’s growing population of older adults. Last week, they hired Afi-Odelia Scruggs, who had been working as a Settlement outreach teacher since 2017, to help rally intrigued seniors who longed for more stimulation post-retirement. Departments like the Settlement’s may be a necessity by decade’s end. Americans’ life expectancy is still on an upward trend. By 2034, there will be more retired folks than grandchildren running around. And by 2050, the country’s 65-plus population will more than double, to about 87 million people. “America will no longer be a young nation but an old one,” a recent New York Times article assessed. “It’s time to prepare.” “And it’s a different kind of aging because people are healthier,” Scruggs said, sitting in her office strewn with sheet music and donated guitars. “But they’re also finding out that if you do these kind of creative activities, it builds community. And that kind of building community—it’s brain health, it’s mental health, it’s physical health.” Whether its flamenco and djembe drum clubs in New York or bookmaking and watercolor classes in Salt Lake City, arts organizers wholly believe in the mind-body benefits of doing arts rather than just experiencing them. In a 2009 study by the MetLife Foundation, some 78 percent of people surveyed over a year in a creative aging arts program “felt a decrease in loneliness” after a year’s time. Sixty percent said they “felt healthier” overall. “This is why it’s not just a senior activity,” Matthew Charboneau, the chair of the Settlement’s Center For Music, told Scene. “We’re helping to stave off dementia. Improve brain health. Fight isolation. Even things like breathing and seeing—these are all de-stressors. And they get all that!” What began with a $6,000 pilot grant in 2018 to pay for instruction and materials ballooned after the Settlement scored a larger grant from the Cleveland Foundation at the end of

Kim Lauritsen, a music director at the Music Settlement in University Circle, leads her Settlement Singers class.

2023. That led to Scruggs’ hire, a role that will allow the Settlement to bring its practices and performances into nursing homes and assisted-care facilities across Cuyahoga County. And, of course, get new students. Along with a weekly string orchestra, chamber ensemble, Settlement Singers and Old Time string meetup, Scruggs is thinking about adding a big band jazz and Motown instrumental group, along with a West African dance session adopted for older bodies. “You’re not young,” she said. “So we’re not going to move like you’re young.” Yet it’s the Singers that acts as the program’s gateway into more traditional, and more musically complex, study. Charboneau estimated that roughly half of the group, which is at about 24 singers, comes to class with at least a few years of lessons at hand. The other half, he said, are beginners, or those who haven’t sung a triad “since high school.” “It’s almost like getting voice lessons again when we’re here,” Liz Gockel, 74, told Scene after practice Wednesday. “There’s a little bit of theory, which I like.” “Some people get some theory, too. Because some people don’t know how to read music,” Deweaver, her friend and bandmate of five years, added. “So, you know, they can pick that up on the stuff like that.” At Wednesday’s hour-long

practice, Gocket, Deweaver and 12 other Settlement Singers ran through their latest setlist, from the Beatles’ “Across The Universe” to Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now” to “Overjoyed” by Stevie Wonder, who Deweaver claims he’s distantly related to. As pianist Linda Allen accompanies, Kim Lauritsen conducts the singers in an excitable mixture of care and high-energy direction. “I think I heard someone who was late,” she said, in the middle of “Across The Universe.” “Remember to use your eyes. Cross your lips around that note. Ohhhhhhmmmmm.” “I think that was me,” Deweaver admitted, laughing. Soon, before the cohort heads out to their regular lunch together, the singers take another stab at “I’m Goin’ To Sing,” the traditional spiritual. “Remember, men,” Lauritsen said during the group’s fourth take. She nodded to Deweaver’s row. “You have to start out as Tom Jones, then be his backup ladies.” The group tried again, producing a sound one could call harmonious. “Yes! Beautiful. That’s what it needs! Exactly right,” Lauritsen said. She raised her hands to start the one count. “Alright,” she said. “One more time just so we get it right.” – Mark Oprea

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January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

RONAYNE AT THE QUARTER POLE In a year of big lifts for the county, the executive on funding for the homeless, fixing re-entry services, a stadium (not that one) and the city’s plan to TIF downtown By Vince Grzegorek CUYAHOGA COUNTY’S THIRD executive just finished his first year in office. As he seeks to build a jail campus in Garfield Heights after shepherding through a 40-year sales tax hike extension, and as he prepares to lobby for a desperately needed HHS levy renewal, Chris Ronayne took stock of many of the lingering issues for the county that will need addressing in the coming years in a conversation with Scene. This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length. Scene: Between the scuttling of the sidewalk expansion project and the $25,000 ask to the county for the surveillance grant, do you have to go around town and apologize for your neighbors in Edgewater? Ronayne: You know, it’s an interesting, interesting discussion. For the record, I have recused from the security cam issue, just because I think being of an opinion on it one way or the other might be compromising. The security cam initiative, I analogize personally, it hit me like a piano – one of those cartoons where you’re walking down the street and a piano falls out of the sky on you. I heard about it for the first time at county council. I won’t comment further on the matter. But the path, I’ll say this.The neighborhood that I live in, I’ve long lived in. I lived in a triple on West Boulevard in my early, mid twenties. Then I bought a double when I got my first job, and that was at Clifton and 103rd, and then when I got married, I moved around the corner to a bungalow, and then when we had kids, we asked the kids, where do you want to be? And they said we’d like to stay here, and so it was a great moment with my kids, so we stayed in the neighborhood. That was 11 houses from the other house, so I have lived here over 25 years now, probably approaching 30 years, in four blocks. So, on the positive, I want to just say, the neighborhood is conducive to the cycles of life. I lived in the triple as a student, the double as a single guy, the bungalow when I got married, and the bigger colonial when I had our kids. And I really do tout that experience. And I live on Lake now

at 105th, and I live across from a wonderful brownstone and also in kind of a mixed income community. And you’ve got different sources of income and probably projectbased section 8 on the street. The entirety of that experience to me is, it’s actually worked from a zoning perspective. It’s worked from an income diversity and diversity of people perspective. I really love the neighborhood. I feel bad for the initiatives that have come up that have sort of separated people, but you know, the path, I had my opinion on it. I was for it. My kids, you know, were cyclists. I’m a cyclist. I thought connecting the park all the way through to Lakewood was a great initiative. So I view, as you heard me just talk from West Boulevard to 105 and Lake, I view this whole neighborhood as one. I’m not sure that’s a widely held belief. So that’s why I bring it up in that context. I’ve loved this neighborhood. I’m going to keep fighting for these sorts of projects that matter. Inclusivity of the neighborhood, the diversity of the neighborhood. But I look at the neighborhood with a wide lens. I think you know what I’m saying. I look at it with a wide lens, geographically and otherwise. There was a $2.6 million budget increase for traditional homeless shelters and then the $3 million cobbled together in recent weeks for emergency shelters. The headline the other day basically said city picks up the slack for the county that usually deals with this stuff. The office of homeless services is a joint office. We’ve been the principal staff team on that. I’m glad to have the city of Cleveland’s strong attention on this. And I really want to partner for success. The end game is housing and permanent support. In the Housing Justice plan, there’s a need for $38 million with $25 million of that just for new construction, right? Those numbers, I’m going to trust that you’ve peeled back a few layers of that onion on those numbers. One thing I’ll say, I think we need more dollars and resources in this community for

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

permanent support housing. Right, because when we talk about reducing homelessness by 25% or whatever by 2027, it’s about housing. Absolutely. We’ve had conversations, good ones, with the city of Cleveland, that this is about, rooftops. This is about giving people the dignity of domicile and having a place to be and live. We’re not there yet. Because a lot of this has to be private dollars, right? Yes, it does. But I think working in the future with Housing and Urban Development on new ways of thinking as it relates to permanent support housing, that to me is a big gap right now. The other thing is, I think we have to flex our thinking on how to create housing product. There’s opportunity to create a more affordable outcome, housing that works that we may not have even thought of yet. I’m not giving up on the idea of tiny homes, because I think this is a start. I’m not giving up on the idea of modular homes. You have to build them right. But could there be a solution for a stopgap for permanent support housing? And the other thing is I mean we are continuing to invest in our social workers, because there is a link we have to have. People who are looking out for people, whether you call them case managers or whatever. People need help. You’re also fighting against – pick a suburb, pick a neighborhood – where people oppose new housing projects for the homeless. I’m gonna give you a news note. I had a family member in my life who lived in an SRO, and I learned that there’s a big value proposition to an SRO for that family member when they needed it to have it. It’s the first time I ever said that to anybody in the media, but I have an empathy for housing product that services people’s needs, and people go through different needs for different reasons in their life. I believe, and I can only account for Cuyahoga County, that we should be working

on model practices and zoning that meet people’s needs. Again, as I described, even in my own neighborhood, I look south from my neighborhood and it’s great that there are apartments next to a single family next to condominiums next to doubles and triples. And I think it’s great that my kids love this neighborhood, and so I guess I’m trying to say by example, the right support, we need supportive zoning supported by leadership in neighborhoods. We had a group home for returning citizens on my street on West 103rd. The guys joined the block club, they joined the book club. It was a whole community, you know? So I do think zoning practices need to be explored in a way that’s looking at it from a humanistic standpoint. Do we have enough senior housing?I was just out in Maple Heights yesterday, and I was happy to see affordable priced senior housing, a 60-unit senior housing development. There’s people with various levels of need and they’re in every community. I think our planning commission can be a partner in model zoning ordinances. How does this tie in to the Housing Justice plan, with fair chance housing legislation. I think it does. And I think also source of income is important. This is a community of people who are sympathetic to people who are in need, and I’m confident that our HHS levy is going to prove that out again. So, source of income and fair chance housing. Let me separate the two. I think source of income is something that I support. We are kind of managing the balance of property owner rights and this tenant management mix. The second part of the question, I think we need to have a community dialogue. And I say this for this reason. There’s a discussion in the context of home rule and municipal law. We’re a home rule eligible government as are our cities themselves. It shouldn’t be a clash of who’s got the preeminence. It shouldn’t be preempted by the state legislature, but we should have a conversation about this community by community.

Photo courtesy Cuyahoga County

Before we get to social workers and, relatedly, re-entry services, I don’t think you’ve ever answered why you asked Warden Everett to resign. Which I know was mentioned in the Marshall Project article on re-entry as well. I didn’t know you were going to go there on that one because I was just going to talk a little bit about reentry. I’m really bullish on amping up. Can I just talk about re-entry a bit and come back to it? Sure, there have been a bunch of issues. I know the new Sheriff told a reporter he didn’t know we had an office. And it’s six miles away. I’m thinking that as our central services campus gets planned and ultimately built out, I would like re-entry to be as proximate to the jail as possible. And can it be on that campus, because I want somebody to be able to walk out if they’re returning home and get services right at the re-entry office or even while they’re in our custody if that’s appropriate and have a discussion. I want people to have resources at the ready when they leave so they’re not just dropped off somewhere. And so I’m really bullish on amping up re-entry for our returning citizens. We are a catchment for returning citizens from state prisons, but also from county jails. And I think we need to be helping people be prepared to return. That’s the long term solution. What’s the solution now? I think continue to internally market it in our own justice system that we’re here. It’s tightening up that relationship with state corrections. I have talked to the state officials at the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Corrections and there’s no real gum in our system relative to our communications at least. I think we really need to be good stewards of how people are returning in the community. I say that because a second chance starts with resources, right? I also want to see diversion amplified in this community. If I had my druthers at the justice services campus, we would have re-entry on campus, but we would also have diversion on campus and a general police order that this is okay to divert under these circumstances. You asked me about Warden Everett. I don’t have anything at this point, because it’s still a lingering HR matter.

You’ve addressed in other interviews the appearance of a flip-flop on asking the voters either to weigh in on the jail site or to extend the sales tax to pay for it. We’re passed that now, obviously, but do you think the voters would have approved one or both given the chance? I don’t like to hedge where the voters would be on something. I think if you look at other communities, other counties, other trials and tribulations, be it Lake County or Lucas County as two examples, it’s an uphill slog. And I want to be specific since you asked about my posture on the matter of financing. Whether it will ever be heard, my commentary on this matter was that my perspective was site specific to the Transport Road site. I visited it several times. I sat and talked to reporters from that site. I thought from my past planning perspective, it was remote. It was too small. It was potentially burdened with the legacy of toxicity. And I said, I don’t like this site, but if the voters do, let them vote on it. That was sort of construed as a blanket statement for all future matters. I think a lot of the criticism for the extension of the sales tax was that it is earmarked to nothing, right? It’s a way for you guys to fund not only the jail complex, but whatever the county wants down the line.

It’s interesting because in my head, as long as I’m serving here, I’m laser focused on utilization of those funds for the purpose of the central services campus. I think when you look at the future pricing of that and the future funds flow for that, coupled with a future courthouse, that will be the majority share of any funds. That is to me just fait accompli – that that’s the mechanism to get these two major lifts done. There’s a viewpoint that this is just what we do, right? That this will be a slush fund to spend on Browns Stadium, or another MedMart project, that anything left over won’t go back to services. In all my conversations on this, there’s never a contemplation of the utilization of that quarter percent extension for a stadium project or anything of that nature. The focus is what we want to get done with what we have for the central services campus. I won’t ask about Browns Stadium. But it’s not the only stadium and sports project going on right now. I know Michael Murphy is trying to put together a soccer specific stadium build and he’s talked to you, the city, the state. Well, I will say Mike Murphy and Nolan Gallagher are not alone in their proposals, from what I

understand, but they’re the ones that have been most communicative. I’ve heard other proposals on other leagues. There hasn’t been a formal ask of this yet. I’ve heard kind of in the wind, the round numbers. There are more than one kind of competing teams in the proposal. I think if you go to a local pub on a Saturday afternoon in this town, and you watch who’s watching what throughout the year, they’re watching football with a U, and I like it. I’d be honest with you, if there’s a way, I know there’s the will and I think there’s a community who wants to see something as it relates to soccer. I’m sort of at this point speaking a little bit at the periphery because the hard and fast presentation asks have not been made in terms of here’s what we need, but I’m aware of the overall proposal. And what I do like is the co-location of college sport and high school sport. I think if we’re going to be smart about how we go about stadia, arena, a field for soccer and anything else, looking at co-locational opportunities is the way to go. Are we talking about CSU? I’ve heard everything from Cleveland State to St. Ignatius to a lacrosse team we haven’t thought of yet, but I, the ones I’ve heard are major high schools and colleges. The other qualifier I wanna make is that I have said over and over again to anybody who will listen,

January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

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| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

if you’re coming to talk with the county about stadia, I want to make sure people are looking out into the community and seeing what our kids are playing on. And there’s definitely a tale of two places with cities in Cuyahoga County, where there’s really incredible recreational outlets and it generally correlates to income, you know. I remember a visit when I was campaigning. I was for some reason out at Central Catholic and I walked with the head of school to Morgana Field, and he said, we can’t use this. The irrigation system is broken. It looked like a relatively new field, but the irrigation system is broken, so our girls have to play softball on our football field. That stuck with me. I was thinking of a comment that was made in Garfield as I was at a basketball game the other night – excited to see that Garfield Bulldogs doing so well in basketball – but I heard from the mayor that they’re trying to raise money from alumni for a football field. So I just have to think of the balance. This is channeling my old mentor, Norm Krumholz. You have to channel who pays and who benefits. We have to think about the pickup for some of the deferred infrastructure maintenance and deferred capital improvement on some of our aged local recreational infrastructure. Because the public will be like, cool, you found $5 million for a soccer stadium but we’re scrounging around for $3 million to fund emergency shelters that need help now. Right. Who’s your team, by the way? I fell into Villa thanks to Randy Lerner back in the day and that’s finally paying off. For a long time I followed Brad Friedel, so I followed him all the way to Tottenham. I don’t even know at this point. I’m going to say the Columbus Crew, because I gotta be local. What do you think the city owes you guys if the overlay TIF is passed? What I’ve done is to keep an open line of communication on this matter with the city, because to your question, I wonder if we can appeal to them to help with some of the significant potential capital projects that we have. They are a partner, frankly, in terms of utilization at the courthouse. It’s not just a county courthouse. It serves a big footprint, including the city of Cleveland.

So I want to keep their mind open to, hey, can some of this be used in projects like that. I guess I kind of leave it there. I will say as I’m staring at the painting of the Detroit Superior Bridge… You’re pet project. I love that project. There’s another one that’s potentially project eligible. You have to always look at the costs and benefits and I’ve said it repeatedly, there’s no free lunch with TIFs. Somebody’s paying and somebody’s receiving the benefit. I want to see public benefit and perhaps county projects that would otherwise draw on county sources that we could use those sources for other things, especially with the important task of Health and Human Services and Justice Services. But when I’m looking at this baby, actually underneath it, I was a party to a TIF when we said to the team at Steelyard Commons, very late in the process, that we want to run this Towpath Trail by you, through you, and up north of you. And I don’t think it was a huge lift for them, but we exacted a TIF that brought the Towpath Trail and finished the job. So I’m proud of that. And I don’t want to be hypocritical that I’ve been a party with the city of Cleveland to utilize a TIF for community benefit, but I think the Towpath is a great community benefit. What are you reading right now? Oh my gosh, that’s a great question. So I’ve been focused on Grisham work. I read recently The Exchange. And then I went back and read Pelican Brief. And for some reason I’m just forcing myself through a trilogy, so I’m reading The Client. But I’ve done that all since the beginning of the year. I’ve got other picks I would recommend that I finished at the end of last year. As we come up on baseball season, Our Team, which chronicles the interface of Bill Veeck, Larry Doby, Bob Feller, and Satchel Paige, is a great read. I’m sorry, you weren’t asking me for book recs, but since I’m offering them… It’s fine. Once you started with Grisham I feel like you gotta throw some heavier stuff in there now to save face. I know, exactly. So, on other substantive books, because I’ve been giving these recommendations for the Cuyahoga Reads program through our Cuyahoga County Public Library, so every month

I’m giving them, but, Last Train to Paradise is a good read. It tells the story of the efforts to get the east coast railway down Florida to the Key West and then the rest is history, when Hemingway is fishing people out that had gone through the adversity of the hurricane. That’s a good book. It’s got a lot of Cleveland ties. The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. We just went through this with our cabinet. I asked everybody for a book idea. Who’s your favorite reporter and why is it the Galleks? You asked why is it the Galleks. That’s funny. I did not live in Chicago through the days of Mike Royko, but I did enjoy the book Boss by Mike Royko. I was born in Chicago, lived there for the first 10 years before we moved to Cleveland, and I kind of wished I’d seen the coverage of Chicago politics in its heyday. I have July 7th as the date the first councilmember said, Chris, the honeymoon is over. That was Scott Tuma. Do you think it ended before or after that? I actually think our working relationship with council has been solid. There are hiccups here and there. You take an arrow once in a while here and there. I try to just look at the bigger picture. I think some people like to watch the drama. But I think most people want to see us get stuff done. I’d rate our relationship as good. Did Armond leave you a note on your desk? No, but he did say this on his way out. He was walking out the door out here, and he said, ‘This is a great job.’ But I will say, at University Circle, when I arrived at my job, I had a note, a very suspicious note on my desk that said, ‘University Circle used to be my Paris.’ I was like, what does that mean? One thing you’d take back from the past year, do differently. Okay. Self assessment here. God, we had a fun year. A good year. I gotta be humble and figure out something. Come on. That’s the toughest question you’ve asked me. Things got screwed up somewhere. Yeah, that’s the toughest question you asked me. Oh my gosh, we had

just a fun year. I don’t know. This is terrible to say because I know, I know I should be more introspective here. Can I pass and come back to that? Yeah, there’s only one left. We asked Mayor Bibb the same thing. Since weed is legal, would you smoke or take a gummy with us? I’m gonna pass, I’m gonna pass. I’ve got young kids. I’m just gonna keep having my important conversations with them and I don’t want to fall and say do as I say, not as I do. So just tell me something that went wrong. Okay, alright. We should have had… even more music on the Detroit Superior Bridge than we had. We had some, but we have to celebrate our incredible public spaces with programming. And I think that’s something that we should have done. This isn’t very specific, but I do think that we could do more to amp up this music city a lot more. I was at the Beachland Ballroom last night, seeing Brent Kirby after my visit over to Euclid for a public meeting and I was glad I got over there. I think we just are passing on a great opportunity if we don’t figure that out. Sean [Watterson] and everyone else, they’re trying to figure it out. They got a lot of responses [to the recent survey]. I talked briefly with Cindy and I’m waiting for Cindy and Sean’s report to come back on the economics of this. I’m a fan of the music commission idea. Back to the question.I guess one thing I’ve encountered a little bit, as busy as we got with big lifts that needed to happen, and we needed to be focused on the justice campus, and the Child Wellness Center, which we didn’t talk about but which I’m glad we’re moving in a different direction than Jane Edna Hunter – I was pretty focused on fixing what was broken on arrival. And what I probably wish I could have done is made a little more time to communicate. There’s the urgentimportant dilemma, and we kind of knocked off some of the urgent, but the important is the important. So I don’t know if that’s an answer, but I think it’s an honest assessment of trying to make enough time for all the communication that needs to happen with people out in the community. It’s not you saying that everything was perfect.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

GET OUT WED

Everything to do in Cleveland for the next two weeks 01/31

Cavaliers vs. Detroit Pistons The Detroit Pistons hit a new low this season when they set a franchise record for consecutive losses in a season. They come to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse tonight at 7 to take on the Cavs. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

Mamma Mia! This smash-hit musical features ABBA’s greatest hits, including classics like “Dancing Queen,” “S.O.S.” “Super Trooper,” “Take a Chance on Me” and “The Winner Takes It All,” along with “an enchanting tale of love, laughter and friendship.” The musical even spawned a commercially successful film. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at Connor Palace, where shows continue through Sunday. 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

THU

02/01

Ax, Kavakos & Yo-Yo Ma Trio in Recital: Beethoven for Three Tonight at 7:30 at Mandel Concert Hall, Emanuel Ax, Leonidas Kavakos and YoYo Ma unite to perform an evening of Beethoven works originally conceived for a piano trio. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

Fashion, Food, & Ferraris At this special event that celebrates the Ferrari exhibit at the Crawford Auto Museum, Dr. Paola Basile, a professor of Italian Studies at Lake Erie College and a native of Rome, will give a short presentation on the Emiglia-Romana region of Italy, where the Ferrari was born and on the Ferrari Museum in Maranello, Italy. The event takes place from 4 to 8 p.m. 10825 East Blvd., 216-721-5722, wrhs. org/crawford/.

FRI

02/02

7:30, and the play runs through Feb. 18 at Near West Theatre. 6702 Detroit Rd., 216-961-6391, nearwesttheatre.org.

Glamgore: Couples Counseling GlamGore is one of few premier and highly acclaimed alternative drag shows in Ohio. Produced, marketed, and hosted by Anhedonia Delight, GlamGore has established itself as a presence in the Cleveland drag scene and beyond. GlamGore attracts audiences for their love and appreciation of drag and performers for their interest in showcasing their drag skills as an art form. It’s one of few allinclusive alternative drag events that incorporates curated themes to elevate artists and audiences alike. Femme Fatale of Filth” Anhedonia Delight aims to push the boundaries of drag and give opportunities to people to share their art in a safe and supportive space. Tonight’s performance takes place at 9 at the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights. 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.

SAT

02/03

TK Kirkland

2024 High School Rock-Off

When rapper 50 Cent needed a comic for the video release of his hit record “Window Shopper,” he called upon TK Kirkland, a guy who’s known as the “gangsta of comedy.” Kirkland has worked as a host on BET’s Mad Sports and appeared numerous times on Comicview. Given the breadth of his work, Kirkland is clearly comfortable on stage and has a natural ability to sustain a conversation. He performs tonight at 7:30 and 10 at the Cleveland Funny Bone, where he has shows scheduled through Sunday. 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-4677, cleveland.funnybone.com.

The annual High School Rock Off returns to the Rock Hall tonight at 6. Round Two will take place at 6 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 10. Ten bands will compete to face off at the Final Exam that takes place at 6 p.m. on March 2. Now in its 27th year, the event will come to an end after this year’s competition concludes. 1100 Rock and Roll Blvd., 216-5158444, rockhall.com.

Monsters vs. Chicago Wolves At 7 p.m. today and at 1 p.m. tomorrow, the Monsters take on the Chicago Wolves at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. Tonight’s game will feature the season-long 3-2-1 Friday promotion, and there will be $1 sodas, $2 hot dogs and $3 select beers. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

BKLYN — The Musical: An Urban Fairytale

Ms. Pat: Ya Girl Done Made It

BKLYN the Musical, a play within a play, centers on a group of performers who aim to “create an inclusive space for anyone who is searching for a family or for a home.” Two aspiring singers engage in a sing-off, and the tension culminates in a Battle of the Divas at Madison Square Garden. Tonight’s performance takes place at

Comedian, author, radio host, podcaster and actress Patricia Williams brings her standup tour to the Ohio Theatre tonight at 7. Thanks to an Emmy-nominated series that’s based on her life, Williams might be more popular now than ever before. 1511 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

Comedian Ms. Pat plays the Mimi Ohio Theatre. See: Friday, Feb. 2.| Mindy Tucker

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

A Tribute to the Beatles Tonight at 8 at Mandel Concert Hall, Cleveland Pops and Classical Mystery Tour, four musicians who sound and look just like the Beatles, will play hits from the Fab Four. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

MON

02/05

Cavaliers vs. Sacramento Kings The Cavaliers take on a very good Sacramento Kings team led by superstar guard De’Aaron Fox and coached by former Cavs coach Mike Brown. Tipoff is at 7 p.m. at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

TUE

02/06

Lyrical Rhythms Open Mic and Chill This long-running open mic night at the B Side in Cleveland Heights allows some of the city’s best rappers and poets to strut their stuff. The event begins at 8 with a comedy session dubbed 2 Drinks & a Joke with host Ant Morrow. The open mic performances begin at 10 p.m. Tickets cost $5 in advance, $10 at the door. 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.

WED

02/07

Chamber Music in the Galleries: Linking Legacies The Chamber Music in the Galleries series at the Cleveland Museum of Art occurs on the first Wednesday of the month, December through May. Tonight’s program features Linking Legacies, an ensemble comprising multiple generations of AfricanAmerican classical artists that honors classical works by African American composers with deep ties to Northeast Ohio. The performance begins at 6. 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

THU

02/08

Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School Founded in 2005 in a dive bar in Brooklyn, Dr. Sketchy’s has now spread to more than 100 cities around the world. Dr. Sketchy Akron, a monthly drink and draw event that takes place

on the second Thursday of each month at Jilly’s Music Room in Akron, gives patrons the opportunity to “draw glamorous underground performers in an atmosphere of boozy conviviality.” The fun begins at 7 p.m.; it costs $10 to draw. 111 N Main St., Akron, 330-576-3757, jillysmusicroom.com.

FRI

02/09

Beethoven’s Fateful Fifth Jukka-Pekka Saraste conducts the Cleveland Orchestra tonight at 7:30 at Mandel Concert Hall as it takes on Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. James O’Leary, Associate Professor of Musicology, Oberlin Conservatory, will lead the pre-concert discussions. Performances continue through Sunday. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express When a man is stabbed in his locked compartment while riding the famed Orient Express, investigator Hercule Poirot tries to figure out whodunnit. Tonight’s performance of this comedic twist on the Agatha Christie mystery takes place at 7:30 at the Hanna Theatre, where performances continue through March 3. 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

No Exit: Year of Surreality Now in its 15th season, the No Exit New Music Ensemble strives to “create exciting, meaningful, and thought-provoking programs—always with the philosophy of bringing the concert hall to the community and by presenting programs in a manner that allows audiences to connect with the experience.” The group performs tonight at 7:30 at the Cleveland Museum of Art. 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

Ride the Cyclone In this dark comedy, the Saint Cassian High School Chamber Choir boards the Cyclone roller coaster, dying minutes later when the front axle breaks. When they awake in a strange purgatory, a mechanical fortune teller invites each of them to tell the story of a “life interrupted.” Produced by Beck Center for the Arts in collaboration with Baldwin Wallace University Music Theatre Program, the play runs through Feb. 25. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at Beck Center for the Arts in Lakewood. 17801 Detroit Ave, Lakewood, 216-5212540, beckcenter.org.

SAT

02/10

The Movement Revisited Eight-time Grammy Award-winning bassist, bandleader and host of NPR’s Jazz Night in America, Christian McBride presents his The Movement Revisited in a concert honoring five Civil Rights icons and celebrating Black history. Part of the 2023-2024 Performing Arts Series at Cuyahoga Community College, the event begins at 7:30 tonight at the Maltz Performing Arts Center. Doors open at 7 p.m. 1855 Ansel Road, 216-368-6062, case. edu/maltzcenter/.

The Play That Goes Wrong Billed as “an international hit that’s equal parts Monty Python and Sherlock Holmes,” this play centers on an opening night that goes awry. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Allen Theatre, where performances continue through March 3. 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

SUN

02/11

CIM New Music Ensemble From 2 to 3:30 p.m. today at Cleveland Museum of Art, the CIM New Music Ensemble under the direction of Dr. Keith Fitch will perform music by Frank Wiley, Luciano Berio, Shulamit Ran and guest composer Carlos Sanchez-Gutierrez. 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

MON

02/12

Cavaliers vs. Philadelphia 76ers Reigning NBA MVP Joel Embiid brings his Philadelphia 76ers, one of the NBA’s best teams, to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse tonight to take on the Cavs. Tipoff is at 7 p.m. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

TUE

02/13

Monsters vs. Grand Rapids Griffins The Grand Rapids Griffins come to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse tonight at 7 to take on the Monsters in a rare Tuesday night game. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

EAT THE GILDED AGE

Reasons abound to visit acclaimed Szechuan import Lao Sze Chuan at Pinecrest By Douglas Trattner SHENG LONG YU HAS WALKED me through a handful of soon-toopen restaurants since launching his hospitality career, from Dagu Rice Noodle in Asiatown to Hell’s Fried Chicken in University Circle. But I’ve never seen him as excited as the day we toured Lao Sze Chuan at Pinecrest. After six months of work, his “restaurant in a box” was nearly complete, having made its way from China in a million pieces only to be assembled on this side of the world. As he did with Dagu Rice Noodle, Yu sought out a respected international brand and endeavored to bring it to Cleveland. Just prior to opening, he would be hosting Tony Hu, the man who founded the original Lao Sze Chuan in Chicago’s Chinatown neighborhood more than a quarter century ago. It was Hu that Yu needed to convince that he was the right man to help guide the famed Szechuan restaurant into its next phase of expansion. In terms of looking for an excuse to visit a new Chinese restaurant, it doesn’t get much better than the Lunar New Year, which arrives on February 10. It’s a time when families gather to celebrate and eat foods designed to usher in a year of good health, luck and prosperity. One of the most celebratory items on the holiday table is Peking duck, a dish that typically requires advance notice at most restaurants. Not at Lao Sze Chuan, where it’s available at the drop of a chopstick. Like most dishes here, the duck arrives via stainless steel cart that’s wheeled up to the table. First come the crispy-skin snacks, jewellike shards arranged on a bed of granulated sugar. The main event consists of a platter of expertly carved duck breast, a steamer basket of paper-thin pancakes, julienned cucumbers and scallions,

Doug Trattner

duck sauce and hoisin sauce. The thinly sliced meat is tender, sweet and lean, ringed by a layer of fat and capped with glossy chestnut-brown skin. A half order ($48) is enough for two but groups any larger will want to order the “full set” ($88). For an extra $20, a chef will carve it tableside. At Lao Sze Chuan, presentation matters. The chopsticks are tipped with gold, family-size soups are served in a deep tureen, and whole boiled fish arrives in an elevated platter warmed from below. Pork and crab soup dumplings ($15.95), served by the half dozen in a bamboo box, are insanely rich, soupy and satisfying. A spray of bright green lettuce leaves is artfully arranged around a portion of stir-fried shredded duck ($23.95), a dish so packed with flavor, texture and depth that it rivals the Peking duck. In contrast, the irresistible cucumber salad ($9.95) is bright, crunchy, refreshing and tangy. Upscale Chinese restaurants are still a rarity around here, which makes Lao Sze Chuan more of a destination place than your typical pepper steak palace. The posh setting combined with the brand’s

LAO SZE CHUAN

10 Park Ave. Ste. 106, Orange Village, 216-331-4642, laoszechuanohio.com

highly regarded reputation attracts Asian (and non-Asian) diners from far afield. Sure, many of these dishes are available – just as good and slightly less expensive– in Asiatown, but sometimes a different experience is worth seeking out. Seated in this gilded dining room, dishes like dry chili chicken ($21.95) and Xinjiang-style cumin lamb ($27.95) seem a skosh crisper, a wee bit spicier and, oh dear, look at all that steamed rice. Both of those dishes contain enough Szechuan peppercorns to numb a pre-op dental patient. We especially loved the spicy cumin-perfumed lamb but couldn’t stop nibbling on both. Starters and sides like pan-fried dumplings ($9.95), crispy spring rolls ($6.95) and Szechuan green beans ($18.95) are as good here as anywhere. The one dish that fell flat for us was the dandan noodles ($9.95), owing to washed-out flavors and very soft noodles. Despite the elegant surroundings and the suburban zip code, prices

are surprisingly in line with the competition. Other than a handful of special dishes – and those green beans! – there’s no reason to bat an eye. Japanese beers like Hitachino Nest White Ale are $9, martinis just $12, and a decent chardonnay clocks in at $11. Over the course of two visits, we barely scratched the surface of the multi-page menu. While I do love my Asiatown favorites, there are dozens of reasons to schedule a return visit to Lao Sze Chuan. One of them is dim sum, which is served from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Another might be the special menu that the restaurant will be rolling out to ring in the Year of the Dragon. Available a la carte or as a tasting menu, it’s bound to bring good luck.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

Tri-C® Performing Arts presents

CHRISTIAN McBRIDE

The Movement Revisited Saturday, Feb. 10, 2024 7:30 p.m. Maltz Performing Arts Center 1855 Ansel Road (University Circle)

Eight-time Grammy Award-winning bassist, bandleader and host of NPR’s Jazz Night in America Christian McBride presents his acclaimed opus, The Movement Revisited, in an epic concert honoring five Civil Rights icons: Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King Jr. and former President Barack Obama. TICKETS: $35 For more information, scan QR code or visit tri-c.edu/tricpresents.

23-0899

23-0899 CA - Performing Arts Series Christian McBride 4.55x5.9 Scene Ad.indd 1

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

1/12/24 10:22 AM

EAT BITES

First Look: Lil Ronnie’s, opening this week in Tremont By Douglas Trattner ANY DAY NOW, BRIAN MOSS and Brian Holleran will open the doors to Lil Ronnie’s. The owners of the six-year-old Il Rione (1303 West 65th St., 216-282-1451) in Gordon Square announced in November that they would be taking over the former Edison’s Pizza space next door to Edison’s Pub in Tremont. Now they are just a few days away from firing up the ovens and baking some pies. For the past few years, Moss and Holleran have been looking for a way to expand – ideally by doing a stripped-down version of what they’re doing in Detroit Shoreway. Unlike the full-service Il Rione, Lil Ronnie’s will sell only whole pies and slices. There will be no salads, no cheese plates, no beer or wine. “The space is so small that we want to keep things as simple as possible,” Holleran explains. Initially, the plan was to bring the dough and sauce in from the other restaurant, but now both will be made on-site. The style of pie will be familiar to regulars of Il Rione, who have gotten to know the offmenu “slice pie” option that has been around for the past couple years. “During Covid, when we were closed for dine-in, we had a chance to screw around,” says Holleran. “We are calling it a Slice Pie as it resembles a slice you would get at a slice shop. A lot of people prefer that pie over our regular pie; it’s almost like a little cult following.” The shop will be under the management of Owen Verhiley, a longtime employee of the company. In addition to the whole pies, which customers can build from a list of toppings, Lil Ronnie’s will always have three slices available: plain, pepperoni and white. The slices can be taken as is or popped back into the oven to reheat. They will be discarded if not sold within a certain period of time. Holleran expects most orders to come in through the Toast app, but customers are always welcome to walk in the front door for a slice. Patrons next door at Edison’s

Doug Trattner

who place an order will receive a message via the app when their order is ready for pick up at the pick-up window. While subject to change, the prices will be about $4 per slice and $20 per pie depending on toppings. “I want it to be very approachable,” says Holleran. When it opens next week, Lil Ronnie’s hours will be Monday through Thursday 4-10 p.m., Friday 4 p.m.-midnight, Saturday noonmidnight, and Sunday noon-7 p.m.

Antica Italian to Open Next Door to Hecks in Beachwood When Fadi Daoud took over the former Blu (and Moxie) space in Beachwood to open Hecks, he also got the keys to the adjoining property that previously housed Cut 151 (and Red). The plan all along was to import his Italian concept, Antica, which has been cruising along in Avon since the summer of 2021. Come late-February/earlyMarch, that plan will have come to fruition. “I think the space kind of lends itself perfectly to cozy Italian, casual-fine dining,” Daoud explains. “We just kind of tied them together.” The largely turnkey space seats about 100 guests, with roughly 30 of those in the bar and lounge area. Since opening two and half years ago, Antica has built a loyal following for its classic Italian cuisine dished up in a contemporary restaurant. “We’ve made really good progress at Antica in Avon,” the owner adds. “It’s everybody’s favorite now; it’s the place to be on that side of town.”

Diners on the opposite side of town can look forward to a similar playbook in terms of food and service, but with a few tweaks and additions. Antica in Beachwood will offer a couple more steaks, such as a porterhouse and bistecca alla Fiorentina, plus more seafood options and a beefed-up house-made pasta program. “I think Beachwood is pretty excited about it,” Daoud reports. “We started letting people know at Hecks and everyone shared the same statement, that we need a good Italian option in the area.”

Smokin’ Q’s Replacement, Cuoco Bello, Now Open in Mayfield In late December, partners Carl Quagliata and Zachary Ladner announced that they would be putting their Texas-style barbecue restaurant, Smokin’ Q’s, to bed after a six-year run. The concept no longer made sense given the soaring food and labor costs that operators had to contend with at present, Ladner explained. “It was time for a renovation anyway – you have to change stuff up every once in a while,” Ladner said. “We looked it over and with where we are, we thought we should change our concept to be more productive.” At that time, the owners announced that they had plans to open a new concept in the same space. On Monday, January 29, Cuoco Bello (718 SOM Ctr. Rd., 440-646-0429), a homestyle Italian eatery, welcomed its first guests. The “beautiful cook” referenced in the name is neither Ladner

nor Quagliata, Ladner confirms, but rather the proverbial Italian grandma. “We’re kind of going for Italian grandma, both visually and stylistically with the food,” said the chef. “We want it to feel like you went over to grandma’s house and she made dinner. Simple dishes with simple presentations. We don’t want it to feel fussy at all.” A menu of Italian classics like pizzas, pastas, meat and seafood items will get the Ladner/Quagliata touch, a formula perfected over decades of service at Giovanni’s. At lunch, which will launch a little down the road, a streamlined menu will offer pizzas, pastas, sandwiches and a selection of entrees from the dinner menu. The wine list has grown in size, with nearly 50 bottles added. Also new is a selection of Italian-themed cocktails. To complement the new format, the space underwent some cosmetic changes. There is comfortable new seating in the form of booths and soft seating areas. A re-imagined bar area now features an espresso machine for coffee drinks. The kitchen was retrofitted to shift from slow-cooked barbecue items to cooked-to-order Italian dishes. Walls were painted, new art has been added. “I’m really excited about this one,” added Ladner. “I’m always excited about a new restaurant, but especially this one. It’s going to be a really cute little place.”

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

MUSIC GUITAR HERO

John 5 brings his guitar theatrics and a special ‘Mötley medley’ to the Winchester By Jeff Niesel ROCK STARS OFTEN LIKE to talk about growing up in squalor, but guitarist John 5 says he can’t lie about his background. Born in Grosse Pointe, MI, he was far removed from poverty and strife as a youth. “It was the nicest area and the nicest upbringing I could ever have,” he says via phone from his Los Angeles home. John 5 and the Creatures perform on Thursday, Feb. 8, at the Winchester Music Tavern in Lakewood. “I know most people grew up poor and had to use a shoelace for a guitar string. I grew up in a huge house, and it was gorgeous. I had the greatest upbringing. I got to go to every concert starting at 11 years old. I was playing clubs ever since seventh grade. We could go on at 11 or midnight, and my mom let me because I never drank or smoked. It was a wonderful upbringing.” Back then, music wasn’t segregated into genres, so John 5 acquired a diverse collection and listened to a variety of artists. “I had Donna Summer and Blondie and Roy Clark and Ozzy and the Grease soundtrack and I had Metallica,” he says, adding that he collected KISS memorabilia, including old copies of Scene that had the band on the cover. “The genre was so wide open. I just loved music in general. I went to go see everybody. I saw the Police and Iron Maiden and Guns ’N’ Roses when they first came out.” When John 5 moved to Los Angeles in his late teens, he left the posh life behind. But the tradeoff came with some great perks. “When I came to Hollywood, it was incredible,” he says. “Riki Rachtman, who owned the Cathouse and the Bordello, would let me into his clubs even though I wasn’t even old enough.

JOHN 5. | Matt Wilson Images

Everybody would hang out and get up and play. We lived in a shitty apartment, but it was the best of times.” His first break famously came when he was playing a show at some dingy L.A. metal club, and Whitesnake’s Rudy Sarzo came to the show to check him out. The singer in John 5’s band hit his head and had to stop performing. John 5 filled in with a guitar solo and left a lasting impression on Sarzo, who introduced him to producers and managers. John 5 then landed a gig with country star k.d. lang, of all people. “Madonna would come to the shows and all these models and all this stuff,” he says of playing with lang. “We played Radio City Music Hall and the opera house in Sydney, Australia. It was great.” At that point, shock rocker Marilyn Manson was looking for a guitar player and hired John 5 based on reputation alone; he didn’t even audition. His first show was the MTV Music Awards. “It was completely the hype,” he says of the time he spent with Manson. “It was insanity.” All the while, John 5 has nurtured a solo career. To date, he’s released 10 studio albums, two live albums and a remix album. “I did this just for fun,” he says of his solo career. “Let’s be honest,

JOHN 5 AND THE CREATURES, 8 P.M. THURSDAY, FEB. 8, THE WINCHESTER MUSIC TAVERN, 12112 MADISON AVE., LAKEWOOD, 216-600-5338. TICKETS: $30 ADV, $35 DOS, THEWINCHESTERMUSICTAVERN.COM.

instrumental music is a hard sell. My first solo album was Vertigo. I decided to make another and then I did Songs for Sanity. I put out another called Devil Knows My Name. It just kept going.” Someone said he should tour, but he didn’t think that would go over well. “I thought no one would want to see an instrumental concert,” he says. But In 2015, following a series of web shows to celebrate the release of his solo album Careful with That Axe, John 5 decided to take his solo set on tour, and formed the Creatures to support his live shows. “It was such a success, and I’ve been so happy,” he says. “I’ve been touring so much. I play guitar all the time. It’s my comfort and happiness. I’m so blessed and so happy that people want to see my play. It’s the best.” The current tour supports the band’s new instrumental single, the “Eruption”-like “The Ghost.” “It’s named after the guitar I came out with last April,” John 5 says when asked about the song. “The guitar is obviously called that.

I decided to write a song that has everything to do with the guitar that shows everything it can do. That’s what I did. The guitar sold out in less than two hours. I was shocked.” The solo tour that brings him to the Winchester comes in between stadium and arena dates with Mötley Crüe. John 5 joined the hard rock band to take the place of guitarist Mick Mars, who had to retire due to health reasons in 2022. “We went to South America and Europe and Japan and Australia,” he says of touring with Crüe. “I think it was an easy transition. I’ve known the guys for years and years. I’ve known the songs my whole life. I know them all so well. It’s what I listened to. I didn’t have to learn any songs. We do this medley that I had to learn but that was it. I’ll do a Mötley medley on my solo tour too. We’ll stack in 15 Mötley Crüe songs.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

LIVEWIRE

Real music in the real world LA Rodgers

Meet Me @ the Altar returns to Mahall’s 20 Lanes in Lakewood. See: Thursday, Feb. 1.

WED

01/31 THU

Sam Hooper Group

Mark Gamsjager & the Lustre Kings

Local blues guitarist Sam Hooper has opened for Coco Montoya and Walter Trout when they played the Beachland, but this is his first full headlining show in the Tavern in several years. Hooper and Co. plan to play a few songs they’ve never played before as well as a new original song or two. The show starts at 8 p.m. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

Mark Gamsjager and Co. have played alongside the likes of rockabilly heroes such as Wanda Jackson, Bill Kirchen and Robert Gordon, and tonight at 8, they bring their musical expertise to the Beachland Tavern to play a special set that pays tribute to Elvis Presley. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

Umphrey’s McGee This jam band formed in late 1997 at the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, IN and began gigging around the area in the early part of 1998. The group regularly comes to House of Blues and returns to the club tonight at 7. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.

02/01

Meet Me @ The Altar Following summer tour dates as direct support for 5 Seconds of Summer, this indie group released a deluxe version of its debut album, Past // Present // Future, which featured new singles “Strangers” and “Give It Up” in addition to ta cover of “Take Me Away” from the iconic 2000s movie Freaky Friday. Songs such as the jittery “Say It (To My Face)” come off

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

as punkier No Doubt and will easily inspire sing-alongs with fans. The band plays tonight at Mahall’s 20 Lanes in Lakewood. 13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.

FRI

02/02

Bumpin Uglies The popular jam band arrives at the Beachland Ballroom tonight for the first of two shows in a two-night stand. The current tour supports Underdog: The Acoustic Sessions, a 16-track album that features seven new songs and nine “fan favorites.” Tracks such as “Locust Ave” features Sublime-like cadences as the group embraces a reggae sensibility even when playing unplugged. Tonight’s concert begins at 8. The Grilled Lincolns and Higher Education open the show. TobyRaps and C-Level open tomorrow night’s

show, which also commences at 8. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

Machine Head and Fear Factory These two veteran hard rock bands bring their co-headlining tour to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. Formed in 1991 by singer-guitarist Robb Flynn, who remains the only original member of the band, the band returned with new material in 2022 when it released Of Kingdom and Crown, an album of ominous sounding tunes such as album opener “Slaughter the Martyr,” a Tool-like track that begins with hushed vocals. Formed in 1989, Fear Factory still counts guitarist Dino Cazares as an original member. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.

SAT

02/03

Eric Johanson Guitarist, singer and songwriter Eric Johanson plays everything from progressive Americana to blues-based roots rock and New Orleans funk. His four most recent solo releases — Live at DBA: New Orleans Bootleg, Covered Tracks: Vol. 1, Covered Tracks: Vol. 2 and Below Sea Level — all reached Top 10 positions on the Billboard blues charts. He comes to the Treelawn Social tonight in support of The Deep & the Dirty, an album was produced by outlaw country artist Jesse Dayton. 15335 Waterloo Rd, 216-677-8733, thetreelawn.com.

SUN

02/04

The Fabulous Thunderbirds Famous for ‘80 hits such as “Tuff Enuff” and “Wrap It Up,” the Fabulous Thunderbirds, a band that brought Texas blues to the masses, continues to persevere even as the blues isn’t as hot as it once way. Led by co-founder Kim Wilson, the group performs tonight at the Kent Stage. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.

THU

02/08

Madonna — The Celebration Tour When Madonna performed at Quicken Loans Arena (now Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse) just about a decade ago, she was accompanied by a live band and a huge ensemble of dancers. Expect the same level of production when the Material Girl brings her world tour to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse tonight at 8:30 (or whatever time the diva decides to take the stage). 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

FRI

02/09

Badfish The thing about Badfish is that they perfectly encapsulate the vision set forth by Sublime’s Bradley Nowell back in the day. While putting their own twist on certain songs, the band members keep the energetic spirit of Sublime alive, all while offering the music to younger generations and new fans alike. They formed in 2001 at the University of Rhode Island and it’s been a wild ride ever since. Each time they come around to the region, they seem to be bolder and more invigorated. In addition, Badfish is releasing some original music, one song at a time,

starting with “I Wanna Get High with You,” which was released last year. They perform tonight at 6:30 at House of Blues. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.

Keller Williams Since 1994, singer-songwriter Keller Williams has been releasing eclectic albums, showcasing his versatility as a musician. He combines reggae, bluegrass, and rock into his songs that even include a bit of beat boxing and whistling. The guy does just about everything, and his best songs (think “Freaker by the Speaker” and “Doobie in My Pocket”). He performs tonight at 8 at the Beachland Ballroom. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

SAT

02/10

Johnny Mathis Now 88 years old, John Royce “Johnny” Mathis remains one of the last original crooners. Mathis, who sings popular standards and jazz, has put up some remarkable numbers over the course of his remarkable career. He’s sold something like 350 million albums worldwide and defies genres as he plays Brazilian music, Spanish music, soul music, rhythm and blues, soft rock, Broadway theatre, Tin Pan Alley standards and even disco. He performs tonight at 8 at MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.

Tamia and Joe These two Grammy-nominated singers team up for this special concert that comes to the State Theatre tonight at 8. Tamia’s career dates back to the early ‘90s. After participating in various singing and dancing competitions as a youth, she released her debut album in 1998 and inked a deal with Elektra. Her vast catalog includes R&B, gospel and soul tunes. A singer, songwriter and producer, Joe also began releasing albums in the early ‘90s. He had a very successful run on Jive Records and also possesses a vast catalog of tunes. The show should make for a great double bill. 1519 Euclid Avenue, 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene January 31 - February 13, 2024 | clevescene.com |

SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES By Dan Savage 1. How do you tell the difference between when someone says they love you in a Platonic way and when someone says they love you in a romantic way? Ask a direct question: “That’s nice — but do you mean that platonically or do you mean that passionately? Like, do you just wanna hang out or do you wanna hang and fuck and hang out some more and fuck some more?” 2. What is the best body-safe material for pegging toys that’s compatible with silicone-based lube? “Normally my top choice for pegging is 100% silicone toys but we usually recommend only using them with waterbased lube,” said Searah Deysach, the owner of Chicago’s sex-toy shop Early to Bed [LINK: https://www.early2bed.com/]. “But siliconelube-compatible toys like glass, hard plastic, and steel are not ideal for pegging with a harness as they have no flexibility. So, you have two options if you’re wedded to the idea of silicone lube. You can roll an unlubricated condom over your silicone toy to protect it from the lube or you can do a small patch test of your preferred lube on your silicone toy to see if it affects the surface. But be warned! Some toy warranties are void if you use silicone lube on them!” 3. I have a would-be lover. We’ve talked. We’ve texted. But we haven’t acted on anything. It’s been so long that I’ve had a chance to do anything like this — I spent decades in a sexless marriage — that I’m afraid I don’t know how to do this anymore. And given that I’m in menopause, things don’t quite feel the same in that area. Any tips to get me back in the saddle? I think you would benefit from reading Dr. Jen Gunter’s invaluable book The Menopause Manifesto. Also, I would urge you to explore that area solo — your vulva, your clit, your vagina — before acting on anything with your would-be lover. And by, “explore that area solo,” what I mean is, “masturbate like crazy, using toys and lubes, and discover what feels good and works for you now so you can share that with your would-be lover when the time is right.” 4. what does it mean if you straight and you gay friend seduces you and you like it that means you gay too right could mean you gay or could mean you bi or pan or flex but doesn’t mean you can’t still identify as straight if straight feels like it comes closest to reflecting your usual desires, erotic targets, romantic interests, etc. 5. I recently began dating a man who likes choking me as much as I like being choked. A few days after some rough choking, I developed a severe sore throat. Could this have been caused by the choking

or is it a coincidence? Additionally, what are the risks if I let him choke until I pass out for a second? The risk for you: not waking up. The risk for him: going to prison. Look, choking is dangerous and choking “play” should only involve simulated or symbolic choking. The kind of throttling that leaves you with a sore throat days later — to say nothing of being choked out — is extremely dangerous. Please stop. 6. Young couple with two kids, married five years, now talking divorce. Will opening up the marriage help? If opening up the marriage is the only other option on the table — if it’s open or over — then opening up the marriage is obviously the better choice. But if opening up the marriage doesn’t resolve a key conflict in the marriage (say one person is done with sex and the other person isn’t), divorce is probably inevitable. 7. I’m getting mixed signals from someone who runs hot and cold, and I don’t know how to interpret some of the things he does. He used to want sex all the time; now he doesn’t as much. He doesn’t initiate much, save for hugs. How do I get him to be clear about whether he wants to be with me or cut me loose? Cutting him loose yourself will make something clear to him — namely, that you’re not thrilled with the trajectory of the relationship — and his reaction to being cut loose will provide you with the clarity you need from him. 8. I’m in a sexless but otherwise wonderful marriage. Hubby knows about and supports my outside sex life. Recently, to my dismay, I contracted herpes. What are your thoughts about my obligation to tell potential sex partners? Most of them won’t wear condoms. Does your answer change if I’m on meds? Does your answer change if I’m with one person as opposed to a sex club? The two people I did tell ran for the hills. Your thoughts? People who have casual sex with multiple partners — one at a time or one right after the other in a sex club — are volunteering for herpes. And while I think you should disclose, I can certainly understand why you might hesitate, given the irrational reactions you’ve received from people who should know better. 9. My boyfriend comes in me frequently, but I’m not concerned about that. I have an IUD. However, I love to cum before and after penetration, and he will not finger me after he comes in me, fearing he will “push the sperm in deeper” and increase my

| clevescene.com | January 31 - February 13, 2024

Scene archives

chances of pregnancy Can you help clear this up for us? I don’t think your boyfriend is actually worried about your IUD failing — IUDs have very low failure rates (you could’ve googled that yourself) — I think your boyfriend, like many men, not only rapidly loses interest in sex after he comes, he’s a little grossed out the same fluids and activities that were turning him on immediately before he came. Maybe instead of asking him to put his fingers back inside you, you could ask him to use a toy on you instead. 10. My boyfriend likes to be tied up and left alone. I’m happy to do it for him. But he also likes to be tied up and left alone when there are other people in our apartment who don’t know he’s tied up in another room. Is this a consent violation? Yes, but it’s a minor one, and I will allow it. To have a clearer conscience, let your friends know your boyfriend is in the apartment but he’s working on something and in the zone or not feeling well and under the covers — either way, he won’t be coming out to say hello. (For the record: Leaving someone alone in bondage is dangerous. If you’re going to do this dangerous thing — and I’m officially advising you not to do this dangerous thing — please follow the safety tips laid out in this post.) 11. MM spanking. I want it. I know other boys are getting it, as I see their pics and videos all over Twitter. Why can’t I find it? “There’s a great app geared toward the MM spanking scene called Whappz [LINK: https://whappz.com/users] that I’ve had some

luck with,” said The Spanking Boy, a gay spanking enthusiast who’s had a more luck finding play partners than you and posts the proof on Instagram [LINK: https://www. instagram.com/thespankingboy] and Twitter [LINK: https://twitter.com/thespankingboy]. “But I’ve personally had a lot of luck just using Grindr and with the ‘spanking’ tag, a hot profile pic, and a bio that’s straight forward about what I’m looking for. A lot of men are into spanking and don’t even realize it — so, you just have to bring it up and see where it goes. With spanking and other kinks, it helps to be direct with what you’re looking for. And when I’m lucky enough to be talking to a real dad, I’ll say something like, ‘So, as a dad, do you think I deserve a spanking for showing off my bare bottom on Grindr and Twitter?’ The answer is almost always yes.” 12. What do you search for when looking for domination and submission? Take Spanking Boy’s advice and ask for what you want. If you’re a gay or bi man seeking D/s play, get on Recon. If you’re straight or bi woman seeking D/s play, get on Fetlife or Feeld. But you can be out and kinky on “normal” dating apps, too, and being honest and direct with people you meet offline is a good strategy. (Remember: the people you meet in normie spaces assume you’re vanilla… and you’re not. They might not be either.) 13. I’m a gay male and I’ve been with my husband for 35 years. The sex has stopped. He has Crohn’s disease and feels a bit — to say the least — uncomfortable stopping sex to go take a shit in the middle of

sex. I’m ok with it, but he uses it as an excuse to avoid it. Maybe I need to look outside our “love nest” for sex? You’re old like me, Dan. What would you do? If my partner wasn’t feeling up for butt stuff — especially if there was an underlying medical issue that made butt stuff impossible and/or uncomfortable and/or depressing — I would pivot to oral or mutual masturbation or an artfully deployed toy. He may not be able to get fucked right now or anymore, but he might be able to put a Fleshlight between his legs and squeeze his thighs together, which would pretty effectively simulate penetrative sex. But if your partner has a chronic health problem that makes ass fucking impossible and you define sex as fucking your partner’s ass, well, then the sex is going to stop unless you get creative. 14. Eating butt — how clean does it need to be? For safety? Sparkling. For taste? You’re gonna want a little sweat — not fecal matter, not filth, just a little clean sweat from the gym, the dance floor, or a run. 15. Open/poly/married. We’re both talking to and flirting with the last people we were with before we met, fell in love with each other, and got married. Should we go for it? People are gonna want me to say something along the lines of, “What could possibly go wrong?!?,” thereby implying something almost certainly will go wrong. But in my experience, non-toxic exes who like your current partner (and partnership) are great regular guest stars. Rule of thumb: if they were at your wedding, that’s a good sign. 16. I’m almost four years widowed and miss sex. But I’m feeling too fragile for the app scene. I’m so sorry for your loss — and I hope you don’t mind that I’m answering your question in a Quickies column. If it had been four months or even a year, I would tell you to listen to your gut and wait. But at four years… you’re need to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Remember: you’re not obligated to meet up with anyone. And while you’re setting aside one gut feeling (still feeling fragile), you’re not de-activating your gut. If someone or something doesn’t feel right, you can and should listen to your gut and bail. But it’s time to start taking risks again. I’ll be rooting for you. 17. My boyfriend of eight years has a thing that happens every once in a blue moon, and I would like to know if it happens to any other men out there. Every so often his dick appears to “molt” and in the process seems to grow a little. Like a snake shedding its skin. This has happened three times and he’s gotten noticeably bigger each time. Since we met, his cock went from 8 1/2 inches to almost 9. Have you ever heard of this? So, what you’re saying is that lizard people are real — they’re not just another lunatic rightwing conspiracy — and you’ve been fucking one since Donald Trump came down that escalator nine years ago. Coincidence? There are no coincidences. 18. I am a 42-year-old married mother

of three. My husband has a heart of gold, is loving, committed and present for me and my family… and I’ve never been that sexually attracted to him. Now, almost twenty years in (and monogamous the entire time), I want to fuck other people. He tries in bed, but I am not satisfied. What do I do? I want to stay married, and I feel frustrated that I can’t resist the attentions of a hot guy. Well, as I’ve repeatedly said, I think if you’re married to someone for decades and you only cheat on them once or twice, you were pretty good at monogamy. So, as you approach the two-decade mark, I hope you continue to be good at monogamy — and if your husband finds out you weren’t perfect at it at some point, well, here’s hoping he’s tolyamorous. 19. No question. Just wanted to thank you. Listening to you gave me the courage to be honest with my girlfriend. So, it’s thanks to you, Mr. Savage, that I have a wonderful fiancée now who understands that, even though I’m straight, only gay men can suck my cock the way I need my cock sucked. Tell your fiancée I said, “Congrats!,” and tell your cocksuckers I said, “You’re welcome!” 20. Me: not using doxy pep, exclusive/ not sleeping with other people. Him: using doxy pep, and open/sleeping with other people. Am I still at risk for the STIs doxypep counteracts? “I’m a huge fan of DoxyPEP for prevention of particularly syphilis and chlamydia (70-74% success rate in early studies) and less so gonorrhea (40-50%),” said Doctor Carlton [LINK: https://www.instagram. com/doctorcarlton], a California-based gastroenterologist and gay sexual health advocate. “So, with these numbers, your reader is obviously still at risk from these STIs — and others DoxyPEP doesn’t cover — as it’s not 100% protection, even when taken properly. Nonetheless, it’s better than nothing if you’re having non-monogamous condomless sex!” 21. How do I stretch my foreskin? With as much force and velocity as you can muster up — just one massive, powerful tug is all it takes. 23. Are gay tops not interested in their partners’ dicks? Most gay men, tops and bottoms, are into dick. That said, there are tops out there who really don’t care whether a bottom has a dick or not. And while it’s fashionable to condemn these guys for being selfish, they make great sex partners for gay trans men and for gay cis men who want to have their cocks ignored, e.g., guys into caging, chastity, or look into a camera and say, “I’m just a hole, Sir,” and actually mean it. Got problems? Everyone does! Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage. Love

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