Perception is Reality

Each person’s perception is that person’s reality. That’s what makes the world go ’round. This can be problematic, though, if that perception contradicts another’s with whom we have to interact.

Working with couples, I’m often astounded by how two perceptions of the same event can be so different. Each person’s perception is based on their interpretation vs. entirely grounded in a given reality. I always say that there are at least three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth–the last of which is usually found somewhere in the middle!

Feelings aren’t right or wrong, but the thoughts that come from them are another matter entirely. They can get us into trouble via the generation of assumptions and other bad choices. How we see a given situation or event is open to interpretation. How we respond is within our control, and our responses are often characterdefining moments. The goal is to see things as clearly as possible, with a balance of rational thought and emotion.

Sometimes, we may struggle to see things clearly. The lens through which each person sees is colored by their past events and experiences. Lenses come in 3 colors: clear, rose-colored and gray. Clear is the most accurate color, and the other two can result in bad decisions based on positive or negative feelings, originating from the skewed thoughts the lenses create. Rose-colored is the color that Polyanna wears, and these lenses can result in naïveté, being taken advantage of and disappointment when unrealistic expectations aren’t met. For example, trusting too early in a relationship, revealing too much of self and having it used against you by an immature or spiteful person. Seeing through gray glasses can result in sadness, lost opportunities and relationship difficulties. If everything is doom and gloom, self-esteem can be affected, which, in turn, affects motivation and can result in depression or at least chronically negative thinking. Early experiences can create gray lenses that cause us to be more sensitive and take things more personally as well.

Tune in next month for how to perfect your perception! Check out free and paid training options at https:// thepsychoeducationacademy. thinkific.com/collections.

Submitted by Jennifer Bellingrodt, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist.

DISCLAIMER: Material is for informational purposes and not intended to be a substitute for evaluation or treatment by a licensed professional. Material is copyrighted and may only be reproduced with written permission of Dr. Bellingrodt.