Essex Central Magazine - August 2018 - Issue 57

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CENTRAL

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SENSATIONAL SEYCHELLES Dive Into Paradise

TROPICAL TRENDS Summer Vibes For Your Home

LOCAL NEWS Keeping You Up To Date

RIZE FESTIVAL We Interview The Opening Act

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Four local privately-owned independent schools for children aged 2½ to t 16 For more information www.oaktreeschools.co.uk

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HELLO!

CONTACT

Welcome to our August issue. What a scorcher of a summer we have had so far! Let’s hope the sunshine continues this month, although some rain would be nice too. This month sees the arrival of the ďŹ rst ever RiZE festival at Hylands Park in Chelmsford which is replacing the popular V Festival. Turn to page 12 for an interview with up and coming local band BILK who have been given the privilege of opening the main stage. Abbotts Travel once again bring us another fantastic holiday destination, this time in the form of the far ung honeymoon favourite, the Seychelles on age 26. Our fashion and beauty pages are feeling summery with surf inspired clothing and mermaid hair plus see how you can inject a tropical vibe into your home with tips from an interior designer.

Local News BILK Interview Tropical Trends Sensational Seychelles Competition

FASHION & BEAUTY

COMMUNITY

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31

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August Gardening Guide

ESSEX CENTRAL

DESIGN Lauren Brown Designs

CONTRIBUTORS Victoria Robertson, Abbotts Travel, Amanda Anastasiou

PUBLISHERS

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ON THE COVER

HOME & GARDEN

ADVERTISING advertising@essexcentralmagazine.co.uk

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CONTENTS

Surfs Up LA Weave

Tel: 01787 583152

School Open Days Ltd

See you next month!

8 12 19 26 35

editor@essexcentralmagazine.co.uk

What’s On

FUN & GAMES 37

Puzzle Corner

38

Dad’s Diary

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Distributed monthly to at the following towns: South Woodford, Woodford, Chigwell, Wanstead, Chingford, Buckhurst Hill, Loughton, Theydon Bois, Epping, North Weald, Ongar. Although every care has been taken to ensure accuracy, School Open Days Ltd take no responsibility for any errors or the advertisements within this magazine.

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LOCAL NEWS

GreenAcres Epping Forest is recognised as one of the UK’s very best green spaces New waxing salon for Woodford Joanna Locke is really excited to be bringing hot waxing to Woodford! Joanna studied Beauty Therapy at the prestigious London College of Fashion before setting up her own business in North London, in 2007. Now family commitments have brought her closer to home, and she is now based in the beautiful Lily House on George Lane in South Woodford. Joanna said, “I have specialised in hot waxing for 15 years, so rest assured you are in very safe hands. I have worked with many clients in this time, including treating ladies during the sensitive time of pregnancy. “People don’t always realise how different hot wax is. It is the original but now rarer method of waxing, which is especially good for delicate areas. I use the bee’s wax variation, a very natural product which works without waxing strips. It is usually a more comfortable treatment, as the extra heat relaxes the hair follicle prior to removal. “I largely specialise in intimate female hair removal using hot wax, but I also provide all other areas (with hot and warm wax) as well as eyebrow, back and chest waxing for men. “ Joanna’s waxing services include bikini line, Brazilian, Hollywood, 1/2 & full leg, 1/2 & full arm, underarms, lip, chin & facial areas and eyebrow reshaping for women plus, back, chest, shoulders, lower back and brow reshaping for men. Joanna is offering new customers 20% OFF your ďŹ rst visit with packages available thereafter.

This international award, now into its third decade, is a sign to the public that the space boasts the highest possible environmental standards, is beautifully maintained and has excellent visitor facilities. Deborah McNamara, Park Manager said: “The team at GreenAcres Epping Forest, is delighted to receive a Green Flag Award for the 10th year running. We know how much quality green spaces matter to visitors, and this award celebrates the dedication that goes into maintaining GreenAcres Epping Forest to such a high standard.� International Green Flag Award scheme manager Paul Todd said: “We are delighted to be celebrating another record-breaking year for the Green Flag Award scheme, with more Green Flags awarded this year than last year.

Tel: 07738 632 896, email: joannalocke.waxing@gmail.com

“Each ag honours the thousands of staff and volunteers who work tirelessly to maintain the high standards demanded by the Green Flag Award. We are proud to have so many wonderful green spaces in the UK for people to enjoy, and hope that next year, we award even more ags.â€?

Lily House, 11 the Shrubberies, George Lane, South Woodford, E18 1BD (Opposite the Slug and Lettuce).

Raising the ag on behalf of the park was Councillor Richard Bassett, Chairman of Epping Forest District Council.

Please get in touch to book your appointment or for any queries via text/email/Facebook or phone.

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GreenAcres Epping Forest has been recognised by the Green Flag Award Scheme as one of the very best in the world. GreenAcres Epping Forest is among a recordbreaking 1,883 UK parks and green spaces that has received a prestigious Green Flag Award – the mark of a quality park or green space.

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Knockout Fun is Coming to Loughton

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE WITH WORK STRESS ADVISORY For more than a decade, hundreds of people have enjoyed the warmth, humour, and transformational power of Chris Allan's support. He has been honoured for his impact as a figure head of organisational Mental Health strategy and leader in Mental Health First Aid. Chris’s work has touched the lives of many people from diverse backgrounds including business leaders, academics, stand-up comedians and even a rapper in Los Angeles! We caught up with Chris as he opens the Work Stress Advisory on George Lane in South Woodford to find out about his work with individuals and organisations. Chris said, “My mission is to work with individuals and organisations to overcome the burden of poor mental health. The numbers boggle the mind! Mental ill health is responsible for 91 million working days lost each year. It costs UK employers almost £35 billion. Ultimately stress, anxiety and depression are the biggest cause of sickness absence in our society. I can help. “At its core my practice is about engaging with people in a positive and results orientated way to improve mental health. I work with individuals on mindset, closing the gap between where they are and where they want to be. “I am also an accredited provider of Mental Health First Aid but have also devised bespoke courses for organisations to support mental health and wellbeing.” To find out more about what Chris does and how he can help you call him on 07976905403 or visit: www.workstressadvisory.com You can also join Chris on his regular live meditation sessions on www.instragram.com/workstressadvisory!

Following the success of Teens Unite’s annual It’s a Knockout event in Hertfordshire for the past seven years, the charity is bringing the fun-filled day to Loughton on Sunday 16th September 2018. Teams will compete against each other on the inflatable assault course to be the first to overcome a series of challenges and obstacles along the way. The concept is based on the hit 1960’s TV comedy game show and is the perfect opportunity for companies, sports teams, friends and families to embrace their competitive side. Seven teenagers are diagnosed with cancer every day in the UK and Teens Unite’s It’s a Knockout event will raise vital funds and awareness to support the charity’s work in uniting young people and rebuilding their lives following a cancer diagnosis. Teens Unite is the only charity in the UK to provide ongoing emotional, social and physical support throughout a young person’s cancer journey. By organising workshops and residential stays, young people can come together and meet others their age in a similar situation, rebuild their confidence and self-esteem and learn new skills. Entry to spectate at the event is free of charge. Aside from the It’s a Knockout competition, there is fun for all the family, with a BBQ and a selection of stalls and games to enjoy. Debbie Pezzani, CEO and Founder, Teens Unite has said: “We’re incredibly excited to bring It’s a Knockout to Loughton. As the charity continues to grow, we will be having more of a presence in Loughton and the surrounding areas and we look forward to introducing our work to new supporters. The day is a fantastic opportunity for companies, sports teams, community groups, friends and family to come together and make a difference to the lives of young people.” Taking part in Teens Unite’s It’s a Knockout competition costs £400 for a team of 10, £200 for a team of five and £40 for an individual place. To book your place, visit www.teensunite.org/events, email events@teensunite.org or call 01992 440091.

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You can call me on 07976905403 or visit: www.workstressadvisory.com I also do regular live meditation sessions on www.instragram.com/workstressadvisory

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THEYDON OAK Dining & Pub A truly outstanding country pub with a great selection of beers, fine wines and amazing home cooked food.

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BILK are an exciting, new band from Chelmsford, Essex. Here is an interview with the band ahead of their upcoming performance on Friday 17th August, where they will be opening the main stage at the new RiZE Festival ahead of the likes of Liam Gallagher, James Bay and Plan B. What was the first festival that you ever went to and are there any memories that stand out? Sol: The first festival I went to was V Festival because Hylands Park is literally around the corner from my house so it’s really local. Luke: The first festival I went to was Download Festival in 2013. It rained a lot so that was dead but I saw Queens Of The Stone Age and Motörhead which was quality. Harry: First festival was Village Green Festival in Chalkwel, Essex, I have a very vivid memory from that day caused by Strongbow dark fruits You're performing at the first ever RiZE Festival this summer, are there any other acts on the line-up that you're looking forward to seeing? Sol: I want to make sure I watch Dave. I like his lyrics and I think he’s good. I’m into Oasis too so seeing Liam Gallagher should be a laugh.

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Luke: I’m looking forward to seeing acts like James Bay and Circa Waves. Their new material should be good to hear live. Liam Gallagher headlining should be a good one as well. Just hope he plays the tunes people want. Harry: I’m looking forward to seeing Liam Gallagher and Miles Kane. Who would be your ideal festival headliner(s)? Sol: It has to be The Streets or Paul Weller because the tunes are classic. Luke: The Stone Roses. I think they’re a right festival band. Always got a great atmosphere at their gigs. Maybe some newer bands as well because you don’t get a lot of them headlining these days. Harry: My ideal headliners that are still around today would be Kings Of Leon, The Streets and The Twang, headliners that aren't around anymore would be Oasis, The Smith's and The Beatles.

What's your favourite festival you've attended and why? Sol: I liked V Festival just because it was a messy one, not necessarily because of the music. It was more about the vibe and getting on it with your boys which made it such a good time. Luke: I went to Community Festival last year at Finsbury Park. That had a good vibe to it. I’d like to see us playing there at some point. Harry: Favourite festival I’ve been to is All Point East festival just because the vibe was great. Do you ever take part in the camping/glamping on site at a festival or do you prefer to opt for the comfort of a hotel room?

Luke: Maybe someone like Miles Kane. I reckon he’d be a laugh to work with. He could bring something good to the table. Harry: Liam Gallagher or Miles Kane. Got any tips on how to recover from a festival? Sol: A fat fry up. Luke: Never stop drinking. That’s the way forward. Harry: Loads of Berocca and water Social links www.facebook.com/bilkbandpage twitter.com/bilkbandpage

Sol: I quite like camping if it’s with the right people. Luke: If I have to camp then I will but it don’t really do it for me. Harry: Camping definitely has to be done at a festival. If you could collaborate at RiZE Festival this year, which other artist would you choose to do so with? Sol: No one to be honest. I’m happy doing our own thing really.

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TROPICAL TREND IDEAS

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A perfect style for the warmer seasons, the tropical look is enjoying its moment in the sun with lush colours, beautiful greenery, and natural elements. Here we explain 3 easy ways to get this perennially chic look at home, and how to keep it looking fresh all year round. This breezy, bold approach is built around classic (@HBIE>FEJ+?DGIJ DEDE9J2H5@IJ+DG? neutrals and airy

IE>H@J+?DGIJ(?HDBCJK / J spaces, punched up with strong prints and the classic tropical texture of rattan. Rebecca Snowden, Interior Style Advisor at Furniture Choice gives 3 tips on how to capture this summery vibe at home.

1. BUILD A CLASSIC SPACE WITH FRESH ELEMENTS “For a pared back, minimalist approach, start with white or neutral-toned furniture for a clean slate and to reect natural light. This gives you a solid foundation to build on, and keeps the look fresh throughout the changing seasons. â€? advises Rebecca. “We went with our very own Milton table in white - to

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soften the hard edges, layer with a uffy throw or a rug, and you’ve got an easy, yet sophisticated look.�

2. EXPERIMENT WITH RATTAN Or with any other natural textures - straw, sea grass and bamboo are all other popular materials to get this look, bringing in warm hints of the outdoors and natural tones. Rebecca says, “Now that you’ve set up a classic space, bring in tropical plants and rattan furniture for colour and texture. For instance, a set of rattan chairs or light ďŹ xture add style and set the mood. â€?

3. PLAY WITH COLOUR AND PRINT Colour is also a huge part of getting this look just right: embrace bright pops of peach, pink and teal for a space that will have the cheer of summer all year round. “These are strong colours, but they can be very effective when used well - either in smaller items and decor punctuating the space, or if opting for a feature wall, you can then anchor the room with darker furniture.â€? Bold, leafy prints are also a standout of this trend, and art prints and wallpaper are an easy favourite. “Choose large prints for the most impact here, especially instantly recognisable prints such as banana leaves or palm leaves. Pair a classic oak table or cream sofa with this look for a relaxed and sophisticated air, with natural tones against the bold patterns. You can also get creative with accessories in gold and brass ďŹ nishes for an additional style boost.â€? .../3ABEDGABI:?FD:I/:F/A&J

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PESTS & DISEASE Spider mites can feed on at least 200 different plants, including many common owers, fruits and vegetables. They feed on the content of plant leaf cells by piercing them with their mouthparts. This results in a yellowing and ďŹ ne brown speckling effect on leaves where the cells have died. Inspect plants every week and deal with the ďŹ rst signs of infestation immediately by removing infested leaves and buds to help reduce numbers.

WITH VICTORIA ROBERTSON A SEASONAL GUIDE TO HELP YOU GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR GARDEN. 0H<<;J9HB>IEDE9J=FEG?JF3J6A9ACG 1IG CJ?F<IJG?IJ5ICGJF3JG?IJCA==IB .IHG?IBJDCJCGD@@J;IGJGFJ:F=IJCFJ.I :HEJ:FEGDEAIJGFJIE F;J5IDE9JFAGCD>I H<<BI:DHGDE9JH@@JG?IJ3@FBH@JC:IEGCJHE> H>=DBDE9JH@@JG?IJ,D5BHEGJ:F@FAB3A@ 3@F.IBCJHCJG?I;J:FEGDEAIJGFJ&II<JFE 9BF.DE9/J

If you are growing tomatoes encourage the fruit to swell and ripen. Do this by cutting off the growing tip so the plant's energy is not diverted into foliage from the fruit. Keep your tomato side shoots in check too, you want just tomatoes not masses of foliage.

Lily of the Nile (Agapanthus) is a bulbous plant that looks great this time of year. It will create more of an impact in your garden when grown on its own in tubs or ower beds. It can reach a height of 2-3 ft.

Prune English lavender by cutting it back by two thirds this month. This will help keep them under control. Don‘t be frightened to cut them back to just 22cm (9in) immediately after owering because they will love it! New shoots will quickly appear at the base of the bush and these will have enough time to grow and harden up before the winter comes. This pruning regime will keep the plant nice and compact for many years.

Penstemon (Campanulatus) is also looking great this month. It has foxglove-like owers on evergreen foliage. An ideal plant for mixed borders that grows to a height of 1-2 ft. Keep deadheading your owers, watering and feeding your hanging baskets, containers and pots as this will prolong their beauty.

A well-pruned plant can last for twenty years or more without becoming woody.

WILDLIFE WATCH Hoveries, sometimes called ower ies are often seen hovering or feeding mainly on nectar and pollen of owers. The size of hoveries varies depending on the species. Some are small and slender, while others are large, hairy, and yellow and black. Hoveries are being recognised more as important natural enemies of pests.

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6J>BIH=J?F@D>H;J>ICGDEHGDFE HE>J?FEI;=FFEJ3H,FABDGI8JG?I 4I;:?I@@ICJ5FHCGCJH:?DE9@; 5IHAGD3A@JC:IEIB;8JCA5@D=I 5IH:?ICJHE>JA@GBH%I :@ACD,I BICFBGC/J Located in the Indian Ocean, off the coast of East Africa, the Seychelles is an enviable archipelago of 115 islands, 42 granite and 73 coral, and these remote idylls are a haven for rare fauna, birdlife and marine life. Unsurprisingly, high-end travellers are attracted to a selection of luxurious hotels and resorts overflowing with exceptional facilities. Of course, the remote location and exclusive privacy is all very much part of the eternal attraction. Adventurous travellers may wish to island hop, or perhaps combine the Seychelles with a safari in South, or East Africa for the ultimate honeymoon finale or dream family escape. Beyond the famously blissful beaches, this ‘Original Garden of Eden’ more than lives up to its sensational reputation. Crystal-clear turquoise waters and outstanding marine attractions make it an enviable location for world-class diving and snorkelling.

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With attractive year-round temperatures (approximately 2430°C), warm ocean temperatures and enticing sunshine, the period between May and October is generally considered to be the best time to travel. Whilst keen sailors and windsurfers should aim for this travel window, divers and those wishing to go snorkelling may wish to consider visiting during the months of April and May, or October to November, as these provide the best times for underwater visibility. Whilst the most famous Seychelles beach may be Anse Source d’Argent Beach, on La Digue, the picturesque Anse Lazio located on Praslin consistently ranks in the top ten beaches of the world. The incredible scenery, imposing palms and accessibility make it ideal for swimming and snorkelling — the water is fairly deep — and there is usually a lifeguard present during high season.

Whilst the tropical Indian Ocean is home to a diverse collection of marine-life and vibrant coral reefs, the nature reserves are home to giant Aldabra Tortoises and impressive flora and fauna. The colourful vegetation makes it a veritable treasure trove for plant-lovers, with hikers able to venture into the dense green foliage to see exotic flowers such as wild vanilla and endemic plant species. Highlights include redwood and ironwood trees and, of course, the unique natural phenomenon of the Coco de Mer — the most famous of the Seychelle’s six endemic plant species. Possessing the largest seed of any plant in the world, this tree is endemic to Praslin and Curieuse only.

Those keen to explore — whether beneath the ocean, on top of the waves or at the lofty mountain heights — are simply spoilt for choice, with watersports, such as fishing, sailing or scuba-diving, to volleyball and horseback-riding. The lush green landscape makes for some incredible island golf courses, whilst off-shore, a yacht charter is the best way to appreciate the rich green and blue colour contrasts. The main travel hub and largest of the 115 islands, Mahé is 17 miles long by ten miles wide and is home to the capital, Victoria (named after the British Queen). Here, visitors can venture to Morne Seychellois, the highest point of the Seychelles, see fishermen along the coast, sunbathe on Beau Vallon, photograph granite peaks and visit local restaurants and shops. Guests can languish in luxury within a selection of indulgent private villas and suites. The Four Seasons Resort Seychelles, on Mahé Island, is situated next to one of the world’s top ten beaches, Petite Anse Bay, and boasts 67 hillside villas and suites. Head to the Hilltop Spa for breathtaking 360 ° views, enjoy a romantic dinner on the beach, relax on the beach with dedicated beach butlers catering to your every need, or perhaps try some paddleboarding or catamaran sailing. For families, Constance Ephelia is an attractive alternative with extensive facilities and two great beaches to choose from. For those wishing to visit Praslin island, Raffles Praslin provides a

modern resort with eighty-six villas, located beside pristine sands and surrounding forest and is ideal for couples seeking a spa, romance and service from beach butlers. Alternatively, Constance Lemuria is an eco-friendly resort with an idyllic, 18-hole, championship golf course, 105 suites, three beaches, including Anse Kerlan (where turtles lay their eggs), thrilling watersports, a Turtle Sanctuary and remarkable granite boulders. For those seeking the ultimate private island experience in the Seychelles, North Island is the pinnacle of barefoot perfection. Renowned for exquisite exclusivity and privacy, conservation is key here. Similarly, Four Seasons Resort Seychelles At Desroches Island is an idyllic natural hideaway with pristine white sands, a tropical reef, world-class diving and Giant Tortoises. Couples wishing to escape to a quintessential private island paradise should stay at Six Senses Zil Pasyon, on Félicité, for complete seclusion, sensational dining and a dazzling beachfront. Whilst naturelovers will feel totally inspired with a stay at Fregate Island Private, where the neighbours are rare birds and guests dine on organic produce. With just sixteen Private Pool Residences, each with a Jacuzzi and personal butler, guests can experience an incredible wildlife

encounter by meeting graceful Giant Aldabra Tortoises in their natural habitat, witness endangered Hawksbill Turtles and see over onehundred species of birds. Enjoy the chance to escape the real world and get back to nature on some of the most beautiful islands on earth. For more information or to start planning your Seychelles adventure get in touch with Abbotts Travel.

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See 26 & 27 August a t i nt e r v a l s ©1999 & TM Julia Donaldson/A xel Schef fler. Licensed by Magic Light Pictures Ltd.

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Come e an nd see Ch hase & Sk kye – 4 Aug gust st Marrshall & Rubble – 5 Aug gust st at int nte te erv rva va als on eac ach da ay ay © 2018 Spin Master. A l l R i g h t s R e s e r ve d .

great day d out!

Take ake the tube to Epping Un nderground Station where our heritage buses pick you upp from right outside.The Epping Ongar Railwaayy is open everry weekkeend in July, y, August, September and Octoberr, Augusst Bank Holidaay and We Wednesdaayys in the sch hool holidaays.

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Where Explorers (5-7 years), Navigators (8-9 years) & Voyagers (10-12 years) can let their imaginations run wild!

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YOUR LOCAL EVENTS GUIDE PROMS ON THE GREEN

QUIZ NIGHT Cash prize to be won. Tel: 01992 572618. 7,IB;J2AIC>H;JHGJ2?IJ2?I;>FE $H&J DEDE9J J A58J(FF<IBCH@I 4GBIIG8J7<<DE9J( * J

THEYDON & ABRIDGE JAZZ CLUB Listen to and/or dance to live traditional jazz bands (different each session). Non-members welcome. Membership available. Members' children under 12 free. Bar, tea and coffee. Good seating, friendly atmosphere, free parking, disabled facilities. 4I:FE>JHE>J3FABG?J+I>EIC>H;JF3 I,IB;J=FEG?JHGJ65BD>9IJ D@@H9I 0H@@8J$E9HBJ-FH>8J65BD>9I

LADIES RUNNING CLUB Come and join our social running group for ladies only. Set yourself targets and push yourself or just be comfortable running at your own pace plus Fairlop Waters is a perfect place to enjoy a run. ÂŁ3 per session, no booking required. 7,IB;J2?ABC>H;8J <=JHGJ HDB@F< +HGIBC8J FBICGJ-FH>8J)HB&DE9CD>I J 0'

The Epping Forest Band will once again be entertaining the crowds outside the council ofďŹ ces, with a mixture of Proms music and summer brass band music. Bring a deck chair and picnic, ags will be available to buy on the day, in support of the band! 4AE>H;J G?J6A9ACG8J <=% <=JHG 2F.EJ BIIE8J7<<DE9

AN INTRODUCTION TO BEE KEEPING Discover the pleasures of keeping bees, which go beyond having your own source of honey. Fee ÂŁ48 (plus ÂŁ1 if not a BHCA member). For more details ring 020 8504 6668 or email ofďŹ ce@bedfordhouse.org.uk 4HGAB>H;J**G?J6A9ACG8J*#H=%"<= HGJ)A:&?ABCGJ0D@@J(F==AEDG; 6CCF:DHGDFE8J)I>3FB>J0FACI8 +ICG5AB;J-FH>8J)A:&?ABCGJ0D@@

FARMERS MARKET Produce stalls and local organisations. Loughton Residents' Association councillors on hand to respond to residents’ questions and problems. 4AE>H;J*"G?J6A9ACG8J H=% <=J HGJ(IEGBD:J HBH>I8J0D9?J-FH>8 1FA9?GFE

MEET THE GRUFFALO A great day out for all the family especially the younger ones. Every child’s favourite storybook character, The Gruffalo, has found his way to the Epping Ongar Railway. See www.eorailway.co.uk for more info and tickets. 4AE>H;J" G?J J FE>H;J" G? 6A9ACGJHGJ7<<DE9J$E9HBJ-HD@.H;

VOLUNTEER DAY Do you enjoy working outdoors? Do you fancy getting some exercise while helping to improve wildlife habitats and maintain the local landscape? Volunteer Days run on the last Tuesday of the month with all training and tools provided. Wear weather-appropriate clothing and sturdy boots. Take your own food and drink. Ring Julia Rolf on 01992 523863 for further details or email julia.rolf@greenacresgroup.co.uk

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LOUGHTON HORTICULTURAL SHOW Classes include vegetables, fruit, cut owers and ower arrangements, jams, preserves and chutneys as well as cakes. Entries welcome from anyone who lives, works or goes to school or college in Loughton. Allotment holders, keen gardeners, children and novices are all welcome to compete. Entry forms are available to download from the Loughton Town Council website www.loughton-tc.gov.uk, can be collected from the town council ofďŹ ce at Loughton Library or by ringing 020 8508 4200. Entries must be submitted by noon on Friday, August 31st. Admission to the show is free. Refreshments will be available. 4HGAB>H;J*CGJ4I<GI=5IB8J "<=% / #<=JHGJ2?IJ ABBH;J0H@@8 )FB>IBCJ1HEI8J1FA9?GFE

AUTUMN FLOWER SHOW Flower arranging, cookery section, vegetables, and junior entries, plants for sale and garden sundries, teas and homemade cakes. Admission free for Buckhurst Hill Horticultural Society members (ÂŁ1 for non-members). For more information ring show secretary Jill Jones on 0208 257 8996 or email jill998@btinternet.com. 4HGAB>H;J G?J4I<GI=5IB8J "<=% / #<=JHGJ2?IJ(IEGIEHB; 0H@@8J4G/J F?E CJ(?AB:?8J0D9? -FH>8J)A:&?ABCGJ0D@@

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NEW CLIENT OFFER

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WIN A FAMILY DAY OUT AT THE ARCELORMITTAL ORBIT!

Experience the UK’S tallest sculpture and the world’s longest tunnel slide at the ArcelorMittal Orbit this summer! We are offering one lucky winner a chance to win a family pass to enjoy the heights, sights and hairraising thrills of the UK’s most exciting viewing platform as you explore breath-taking views of London’s most iconic landmarks, before braving the world’s longest and tallest tunnel slide! As if that isn’t enough, you can then relax and enjoy a

well-deserved bite to eat at The Last Drop café next door. The ArcelorMittal Orbit is situated within Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in Stratford - just ten minutes from central London. Spanning a huge 560 acres, the Park is filled with a variety of things to do and makes for a great day out for the whole family. Whether it’s taking a stroll in the beautiful parklands whilst the children run around the playgrounds or fountains, getting active in one of the iconic former Olympic and Paralympic venues, or even taking to the water on one of our swan pedalos - there is something for everyone!

TO ENTER: Email your details to competitions@essexcentralmagazine.co.uk Closing Date: One winner will be chosen at random on Friday 31st August T&Cs Family pass permits 2 adults and 2 children for entry to the ArcelorMittal Orbit and one ride down The Slide, plus lunch at The Last Drop Cafe up to the value of £50. The family pass must be used within 6 months of issue and is subject to availability when booking. Visitors using The Slide must be a minimum of 1.3m in height, minimum eight-years old and weigh under 139.7kg (22 stone). You must seek medical advice if you have any pre-existing medical conditions and cannot ride The Slide if you are pregnant. Any access requirements must be notified in advance.

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WITHOUT A MAP... So, last month we had BBQ’s, the school fete, and the World Cup‌

and dangling off a tree saw. I can only hope the subsequent nightmares will pass by the time he has kids of his own.

The World Cup was obviously full of highs and lows, but on a very personal level it was the ďŹ rst ever World Cup my boys had watched and they both loved it. Jake (still 2) was able to follow the game closely and then jump with joy, raise his hands aloft and yell “Goal!â€?, this was great at ďŹ rst but quickly became tedious when he clearly couldn’t understand what a ‘replay’ was. Every single viewpoint of the goal was met with the same original gusto and enthusiasm ,“goaaalll!!!â€? Ok Jake, chill, the game ďŹ nished 20 minutes ago, these are just the highli‌ “GOOOAAALLLLL!!!â€?, and so it would continue.

Later that week, another couple of parents came around and we decided to have a BBQ (to be fair, it was our only hope of trying to make a dent on our ridiculous levels of lamb). About halfway through it felt like we’d each eaten a hippo and the early high jinx had been replaced by the sounds of groaning and pain. Our neighbours assumed we were rehearsing for an upcoming zombie apocalypse ďŹ lm.

Since George has been going to school we have seen our social circle rapidly expand to include all the new parents, one of whom asked the other day if I like lamb, “Sureâ€? I said, “Are you selling pies at the school fete?â€?, “No, I have a whole lamb carcass and wanted to know if you want half?â€? Christ almighty I thought, but I wasn’t going to turn down this opportunity. Before I go any further I need to explain that we have no butchery skills‌ or tools (even though my dad was a butcher), so when we were presented with this vast piece of meat I went to the garage and came back with a wood saw. This was the start of our troubles, and what should have been a 20-minute dissection ended up becoming a 4-hour massacre. At one stage George entered the kitchen and saw a scene akin to something from Pulp Fiction, his mum and dad covered in blood, holding knives, with chunks of meat and esh strewn across the kitchen

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“What should have been a 20-minute dissection ended up becoming a 4-hour massacre� A few hours later, we cracked open the Balderdash and prayed in vain that the kids were all asleep. These prayers went unanswered and the next few hours were riddled with interruptions as one by one all 4 kids kept coming out us with complaints, “My burps smell like lamb�, “I think I’ve eaten a hoof� and “Why did mum and dad kill someone in the kitchen?� The following week it was the school fete, I was expecting a fete worse than death (thank you, I’m here all week) but it was in fact a great event with thousands of

people in attendance and I was asked to help with the BBQ section. After my recent trials and tribulations, I was delighted to see there was no lamb on the menu and began selling burgers by the bucket load. After an hour it was time to get the Mrs and boys and head back into the fete as a member of the public, we decided to get in the queue for the ice cream van, not really paying much attention to the length, as it was a hot day and we assumed the turn around would be quick. However, progress was glacial, and my freshly clean-shaven face had grown into a Brian Blessed impersonation by the time we eventually reached the window, only to be met with the cheery quote, “Sorry mate, I’ve just sold the last oneâ€? ‌ I was so angry I could have eaten my beard. The boys didn’t seem to care though and immediately jumped onto a bouncy castle, laughing like maniacs as they ung themselves down the slide section and landing on the scorching hot plastic at the bottom. Each child seemed to be having the same pain/pleasure experience, whooping with laughter at the top, then screeching a painful “oow!â€? at the bottom. I stood there, in the baking heat, sans ice cream, beardy like Blessed and considering the installation of forehead windscreen wipers to stop the cascading sweat owing into my eyeballs and my breakfast of lamb starting to repeat on me‌ it was enough to drive a man insane. Hopefully next year the fete will have a bit of cloud cover, or perhaps even some rain.

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