Leila Creates Her World

ARTIST LEILA VICTORIN ANSWERS STUDENTS' QUESTIONS ON ART & LIFE.

STORY BY LEILA VICTORIN PHOTOS BY ANGEL HOU DESIGN BY COURTNEY SAUNDERS

EILA VICTORIN, aka Leila A Creates, is a Haitian-American painter based in Southern California. Leila graduated from Andrews University in 2015 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts with an emphasis in Painting and a Bachelor of Arts in French Studies. In 2018, she graduated with a Master of Science degree in Speech-Language Pathology. Over the years, Leila’s artistic style evolved as she defined her creative voice and how to highlight narratives of Black lives. While giving energy to her human subjects in her portraits, she also developed an affinity for inanimate objects, approaching them in an unconventional and alluring way.

Leila’s journey has not been easy; by working as a compassionate speech-language pathologist by day and a groundbreaking artist by night, Leila Creates Her World. She is eager to share what she has learned along the way. Following is an interesting conversation between aspiring student artists and the talented Leila Victorin.

PHOTO © LEILA VICTORIN

PHOTO © LEILA VICTORIN

TOP: DIRTY WATER V.4, 8” X 8”, 2020 BOTTOM: DIRTY WATER V.5, 8” X 8”, 2020

When did you know you wanted to be a painter?

I knew I wanted to be an artist probably around 5, but I didn’t know I wanted to be a painter really until I started doing it consistently. I don’t even think I “knew” when I finished my BFA. It was probably within the last few years that I was more sure of it.

What does your creative process look like?

It’s a bit messy and a little bit impulsive. I usually start with getting comfortable, playing a new episode of a terrible reality show, and then very loosely sketching out either a portrait or some idea that’s been bouncing around in my head for the last day or week. All of that feels like the “inhale” part of creating and then putting the paint on the canvas is like the “exhale” where I typically use paint directly out of the tube with very little blending, and make bold marks and shapes. I try not to overthink it too much and I think that keeps that work fresher and more authentic to me.

What advice would you give to current students?

Don’t be afraid to try different things and don’t get bogged down by trying to be the most original or the most profound. Everyone is inspired by something and sometimes you have to tap into what other people are doing to find out what connects with you.

PHOTO © LEILA VICTORIN

JOHN LEWIS MEMORIAL MURAL PAINTED IN 2020 AT RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA

What advice would you give to your college senior self?

Make work you’re interested in! Not everything has to be conventionally profound for it to be legitimate. Also, take your time thinking about what you want. It’s not a race.

As an alum of Andrews University, did you feel prepared for the real world? If so, in what ways?

As far as the creative work and cranking out artwork, yes. Particularly working under Kari Friestad and Steve Hansen. As far as the business and networking part, that came quite a bit later. AU will give you opportunities, but it’s really up to you to take advantage of all of them, be proactive in your own learning, and ASK questions and ASK for opportunities. What didn’t you expect when entering the workforce after you finished college? I didn’t expect that there would be so many ways to make money as an artist.

How do you get inspiration?

I have to say from other artists a lot of times and then from my surroundings.

How much time does it take to finish painting a mural?

It depends on the size. I worked on one mural that took 3–4 days and another that took a few months.

What projects are you most proud of?

I’m very proud of my mural work in Riverside, that’s probably the largest project I’ve ever been a part of and I enjoyed working with other artists. I’m also proud of my Black History Creates challenge that I did in February. That really pulled me out of my own creative comfort zone and allowed me to explore new types of work. That actually is what propelled me into my most recent collection of still life pieces and another collection I’m working on to hopefully be released at the end of this year. When receiving criticism from your clients about the work you are producing for them, how do you separate your personal feelings from that interaction? How do you use their criticism to fuel your determination to produce what they are looking for?

GREAT question. Please bear with my response, lol. So I think all of this depends on what kind of criticism we’re talking about. If it’s about style, the hope is that there were already creative boundaries set at the beginning of the project (what style you’re willing to work in, details on what they want, etc). Oftentimes it’s remembering that I want this person to be a consistent collector so I have to get it together for this interaction. I will say that with painting it may be different than with other creative fields but I really don’t take projects that are not already typical of the work I make. There are a few times that I have and those projects were emotional roller coasters. I stayed professional

with the clients but I’ll be honest I’ve had meltdowns once the phone call was done and painted over pieces over and over again and then given up until a friend convinced me to just try it again. lol. I don’t know if the criticism fueled me or if it was my pride but I’m sure there was a combination of that and knowing that the work meant something to the commissioner so if nothing else…it was going to matter if I did it or not.

Nowadays, if I’m going to say yes to a project one of the first things I do is ask: does this person know what my work is about or do they just assume that I’m a painter so I will paint anything in any style. If it’s not typical of my work, (I’ll ask myself): do I genuinely want to invest in this project? If the answer is no, I recommend them to another artist who makes similar work to what they’re looking for. Once the person knows what I do and we’re clear, then I’m ready to address critiques that may just have to do with preference and those are changes that I allow within my commission process so there’s less of a personal feeling attached to that because we’re on the same page. I hope that answers the question.

What is a day in your life like?

I wake up ridiculously early and start my day working with kids as a speech pathologist. During my lunch break sometimes I’ll get on social media, ship any artwork as needed, update my website, etc. Go back to work ’til 5. If I didn’t get to ship packages, I’ll do that then. Then I come home, walk the dog, hang out with my husband and/or work on paintings or respond to emails, send commission contracts, social media, etc. Go to bed.

Do you struggle with the fear of failure and rejection?

YES.

How do you combat it?

Spending time with other artists and fleshing out my feelings with them, and once I realize we’re all pretty much in the same boat, I feel less alone and more empowered to keep pushing. I also watch/listen to “The Gap” by Ira Glass on a regular basis.

PHOTO © LEILA VICTORIN So my negative feelings often come to me when I’m already a bit burnt out or I’ve been isolated from other creators for a while, and on those days/weeks, I often don’t create and I take my mind off whatever projects by doing other nonart related things guilt-free, just to give myself a break. What has helped me the most though is when I reach out to another creative friend and ask if they want to video chat while we work on our projects, especially when it comes to commissions I’m having a hard time with and my thoughts of ‘why would anyone pay for this?’ come through. Chatting with other people while I paint keeps my mind off the negative feelings and allows me to get work done without being too bogged down by my own self-doubt.

What was your biggest rejection with your art, and how did you learn from it?

Here’s the honest truth, I have not typically been in positions where I could get rejected in a catastrophic way. But I have submitted to a ton of open calls and mural projects but have gotten rejected or just silence. In some ways I regret not pushing further but I reaaaallly piled on the safety nets before starting my creative career

PEACE OF MIND, 40” X 33” ACRYLIC ON CANVAS, 2020 and only really did projects that I was either running or that I was personally requested for so that people already knew what they were getting. That probably wasn’t the best way to learn but it’s what I did. I have had people not like my work before, but in that case I’ve found that for every work that someone doesn’t like, there seems to be someone else who does. In fact, sometimes there is work that I don’t even like, that connects with other people. The fact that the feelings toward different (kinds of) work can be so fluid has taught me that at the end of the day I simply just have to own it. Not everyone will love it, but not everyone will hate it either. There Wtruly seems to be a niche for eeeeveryone in the creative world even if it takes a while to find it.

What does vulnerability look like for you with creating?

Letting people see my process. Sharing work that wasn’t thought out. Being honest about the fact that even though many days I think highly of my work, sometimes my work is trash and I wonder why anyone would pay for it, lol.

Your work transitions through different styles and techniques, do you have any advice on how to develop your personal style? Is this something you’ve found is forever evolving or is there an end goal?

My feelings on this fluctuate. I think the only way to develop a style is just to start making a ton of work. I don’t think I could’ve predicted that I’d be making the work that I’m making now without just making stuff. Even now, I have a style that I’m drawn to, but I still switch it up depending on the mood I’m in. I’ve attempted to reconcile the shifts by grouping my work into collections, so that in my head I can categorize them without judging myself for being too “all over the place”. I think also, consuming a lot of work that you like from a variety of artists and seeing what you’re drawn to can really help in building your own style as well.

How do you as an artist balance your personal work with paid projects? Do the lines often blur between the two?

Great question. It depends. Some months are VERY commission heavy and others allow for more personal projects. It used to be a constant struggle where I would sometimes resent paid projects because they prevented me from making my own work. To be honest that still happens if I’m not intentional. But what I’ve done is make my “personal projects” the majority of what I sell and attempted to provide some consistency there by having portrait drops every month and an email list, so I’m still making the portraits that I want, (along with whatever other work I want to make) but the consistency has allowed me to build an audience which in turn allows me to make money off of my “personal work”. And then with paid projects, I’ve done my best to limit what I say yes to so that I’m not overwhelmed by the less preferred work. I say take it on a case by case basis and be strategic. I’ve worked on projects for free that I shouldn’t have, but I’ve also done projects for very little pay and built a rather large audience from it. Either way though, I think it’s important that whoever you’re doing the project for is aware that you are in fact, donating your time and how much time you will donate. Whether it’s sending an invoice with your prices crossed out or simply just stating how much time/resources you’re willing to donate. Not in an “in your face” kind of way, but in a, “I value the vision of this project so I’m willing to donate some time” (it also doesn’t hurt during tax season to have documentation of the value of your donated time/resources, etc). Just be clear ahead of time about what you are doing and why.

Do you have any advice on how to cultivate artistic vulnerability and introspection while needing to fit into an often heavily commercial and corporate world?

That’s something I’m still playing with myself. I’ve been able to recognize what people seem to want within my niche, so I for sure make that work because money is a great motivator. But I also try to create my own creative challenges or collaborate with other artists to bring myself to new places. I think there are ways to make both work, but I think sometimes it’s hard to cultivate artistic vulnerability and introspection when you’re trying to eat. So what I’ve done is find ways to make work that is quick for consumption (smaller pieces) that people can count on. A lot of artists do this by making prints of their most popular work. And then that allows me the mental space to simply make work for the sake of it. I believe everyone has to gauge for themselves, but I know that once I begin to burn out, sometimes it’s time for me to take a break from creating for a bit (that’s when I think things like prints can be helpful) so my brain has time to generate new ideas.

Leila Victorin of leilaacreates.com is a Haitian-American, California-based, New England-raised painter whose work focuses primarily on Black themes using expressive brush strokes and color. When she's not painting she works as a pediatric speech-language pathologist and enjoys watching comedy and spending time with her husband and their fur babies. You can follow her creative exploration on Instagram @LeilaA.Creates.