Family Ties
failed to honour the uniqueness of her family members. Below are some strategies that helped motivate Gina to break free of comparisons.
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Increase Your Awareness Be mindful of your inner dialogue. This helps to quell the criticism that manifests as a result of comparison. Note each time you feel ashamed of a family trait or get jealous of someone else’s family. Bring these thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness and write them down. Putting a positive spin on negative thoughts can help you feel confident, satisfied and empowered. Reframe Your Statements and Increase Acceptance Recognise what’s really troubling you in the moment of comparison. Transform each negative into an action-oriented statement. The solution is to start accepting things you can’t change and setting realistic goals for the things that
you can. Use affirmatives such as, “I choose to accept my family the way it is.”
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Give Your Family More Credit The grass in your own backyard may be greener than you believe. Pause and recognise the heart, intelligence, imagination and colour your family members add to your life. Focus on their strengths and celebrate them!
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Shift into a Perspective of Gratitude Take a few deep, cleansing breaths, letting any tension in your body leave on the out breath, slowly shifting into a perspective of gratitude. Begin counting and being grateful for all the things you have in your family circle. View your family members as special people or friends. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can take the sting out of seeing how others are ‘luckier’. Accept Imperfection Deal with the reality of imperfection
on both levels – intellectual and emotional. Learning to accept your own weaknesses and shortcomings will make you more accepting of the imperfections of your family members. Focus on the Journey Don’t focus on how your family ranks in comparison to other families. You are not in a competition. You are on a wondrous life journey and your family shares a significant part of it with you.
Savleen Bajaj is an internationally respected leadership authority, human behavioural expert, success coach, professional speaker, psychologist, author, facilitator and consultant. She is the founder of the Lotus World Centre for Personal Intelligence. For more info, or to subscribe to her newsletter, email savleen@savleenbajaj.com or visit www.savleenbajaj.com
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