TELLING IS HEALING

By Donna Jenson

For three days, I traveled, partied, supported, loved, presented, shared art, and dreamed of the future with a mighty group of survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

What a rare and glorious opportunity. Twenty years ago – when I started my activism on this issue, I was so very alone. Survivors taking leadership were few and far between. But our community has been building, relationships made, partnerships forged, all towards healing now and irradicating the injustice. What a thrill to be together at the Massachusetts Statehouse – joining forces with our sister survivor, Senator Joan Lovely, for her legislative briefing. And then on to the Cabot Performing Arts Center to view the magnificent film, Bittersweet, all about US – all about how we’re healing ourselves and each other in community and through the arts.

4/11/23

STATEHOUSE REMARKS:

Good morning, I am Donna Jenson, Founder and Director of Time To Tell – with a mission to spark stories from lives affected by incest and sexual abuse to be told and heard. From the age of seven, after every rape, my father said – “You tell anyone, and I’ll kill you.”

That silencing was as wounding as the assaults.

To be forced to hold that secret is devastating. Our whole culture is wrapped up in that silencing – the taboo and distress around speaking the truth of childhood sexual abuse. But telling is healing and every telling is a step towards justice.

Which is why we are so grateful to Senator Lovely – for her life changing legislation AND her generous offer for us to be here today, to speak here today. It’s a very rare invitation and we survivors thank you deeply, Senator.

Time To Tell provides online writing circles for survivors to be in community, to write together and read their writing to each other. A collage is created with images from the writing. We have fifteen examples of them here today.

Interspersed with each one of us speaking, excerpts of survivor writings from our circles and other publications will be read.

As you listen consider these three things I offer when asked: “What should I say when a survivor shares with me?” I answer, “Tell them,

1) That never should have happened,

2) I believe you and

3) It wasn’t your fault.”

Any one of those three statements can be life altering for a survivor.

Again: 1) That never should have happened, 2) I believe you and 3) It wasn’t your fault

I’m going to read an excerpt written by Susan G. from our Saturday morning Writing Circle:

One Day

by Susan G.

One day I want to stand up and scream out loud, “I was abused as a child!”

I am a survivor of incest and I’m here to tell you that I’m still standing, and it is far too prevalent in our world.

There are people who don’t want me to tell you this—people from my family of origin, as well as people I don’t personally know, because none of us want to believe just how frequently child sexual abuse happens.

Incest is like a snake that slithers just below the surface, just out of sight. It is camouflaged from the outside world, but insidious once it finds its way into our lives. It leaves us feeling worthless, guilty, ashamed, and powerless, which we are because we are children with few if any resources. We are small. We are alone, and so, we must dissociate to survive. Therefore, those of us who have survived as intact adults must speak out and speak up for our younger selves and for all those present-day children in hiding.

One day is now.

Thank you for listening.

About The Author

Donna Jenson is the survivor support person for The Survivor Nest Project. Author of Healing My Life From Incest to Joy, playwright of What She Knows: One Woman’s Way Through Incest to Joy, editor of the anthology, Survivor Voices; and producer and principle of the documentary Telling Is Healing. She has been leading writing circles for survivors since 2008. Find her on Time To Tell Instagram and her web site, Timetotell.org