I Am the Rescuer

by Sydney Song

I stare at the pew in front of me, Following the scars of the wood with my eyes. My pastor is speaking, but I cannot hear him. His words blur together

I question, do I want to listen?

Every Sunday morning the same as the next I am stuck I am stuck I am stuck

I am at His house today

But only today.

Tomorrow, I will walk away

I always do.

I am stuck I am stuck I am stuck

I stand on the just-muddied path of the week passed

The lies told sprout like weeds in the field

My jealousies pollute the once blue lake

The dark clouds return to the field every week, pouring droplets of my desires

The mud below my feet swallows me

I flail my legs, trying to grab the air around me

The cold, heavy droplets strike my skin

I am stuck I am stuck I am stuck

I have tried to get out of the mud too many times. When I am free, I know I will fall in it once again. Now, I am tired

So I let myself sink.

Who will rescue me?

I am stuck I am stuck I am stuck

You sit at the pew in my house

Trailing the scars of the wood with your eyes. Your pastor is speaking

My child, Open your ears, I cry I am here I am here I am here

You are here today

Tomorrow, you will walk away You lie, you are jealous, you worship those who are not me Still, I am with you I am here I am here I am here

I am here in the field. You gasp, Frantically flailing your legs. Then your body goes still You sink in the mud. I reach for your hands bruised with cold, heavy droplets I pull you out. I am here I am here I am here