Exceptional People Magazine - January/February 2020 by Atela Productions, Inc.

January/February 2020

Learn From the Mistakes of Top Executives Setting Boundaries: How Establishing Limits Can Transform Your Life

Terrie Davoll Hudson

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Never Too Late To Build Your Legacy

Founder and Publisher Editor-in-Chief Monica Davis Writers & Editors Jon Crump Marla Gem Suzanne Harris Company Writers & Contributors Donna Carletta Kathy Kentty Pat Markel Other Contributors Andrew Horton Greg Williams Jack Canfield Annemarie Cross Art and Graphics Designer Jenette Antonio Sityar Exceptional People Magazine is published bi-monthly by Atela Productions, Inc. The opinions of the contributors are not necessarily those of Atela Productions, Inc. Exceptional People Magazine is a copyright of Atela Productions, Inc. The contents of this publication may not be printed, copied or distributed without the express written consent of the Publisher. Copyright ÂŠ 2020 All rights reserved.

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Letter from the Publisher Dear Friend, Can you believe it? Another year has arrived. Every year, most people usually create new resolutions that they have every intention to keep but never seem to follow through. If you're one who tends to do this as well, I hope you make 2020 the year you break the habit of making plans and not executing them. Sure, life gets in the way sometimes, and we all have to put things on hold for a short while, but if you're committed to achieving something, you must persevere through the tough times so that you reap the rewards on the other side. This world is full of distractions, and it's easy to get side-tracked or pulled away from your dreams and purpose. Saying you're going to do something is easy. The challenge lies within the mindset and what you truly believe. What do you believe needs to happen for you to experience a significant change in your life this year? What do you think is your life's purpose? Once you have identified what that is, be committed to it by developing an actionable plan. Find a coach or mentor to keep you accountable. This is your year to experience meaningful change in your life, and effect a positive difference in the lives of others. Don't wait to begin living your best life. Start right now! With every wish for great achievements.

Monica Davis

contents All of us at Exceptional People Magazine wish you a New Year filled with many blessings. May you be inspired by bright ideas and creativity and new successes, and may you establish relationships which lead to joy, peace and happiness.

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Terrie Davoll Hudson Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Never Too Late to Build Your Legacy

MINDING MY BUSINESS

12 14 16 18 20

Strategies for Building a Top-Notch 5 Team Tips to Successful Online Business 5 Networking earn From the Mistakes of Top Executives L to Improve Your Management Skills ow Do You Leverage Your Existing H Audience? What It Means to Be a Dynamic Leader, Part 1

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Never Too Late To Build Your Legacy Terrie Davoll Hudson Photos Courtesy of KTA Media Group

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errie Davoll Hudson knows you have a purpose in life, even if you don’t know what it is. Maybe you know your purpose but you haven’t yet acted on it. Hudson’s here to prove that you can take action today to leave an enduring legacy for your loved ones and beyond. In her book Leave A Legacy That Counts, Hudson helps readers find the courage to start their own legacies and walks through the steps necessary to take bold action now — without regard to finances, age, or other perceived roadblocks. Bold action is behind everything Hudson does. Emblazoned across her website, in fact, is one of her many inspirational quotes: “The things that excite you are not random. They are connected to your purpose. Follow them.” Hudson practices what she preaches too. Helping people find their “why” has excited and guided Hudson’s success over three decades. Hudson grew up in a disadvantaged part of South Carolina but was always taught to believe in herself. After high school, she went to Baltimore for college, earning her Bachelor’s degree in pre-medicine at Morgan State University. Excelling in sales and leadership skills, Hudson then landed at BellSouth in Fort Lauderdale. She moved continuously up the corporate ladder from Regional Sales Manager to Center of Excellence Director at BellSouth, to General Sales Manager, Human Resources Director, and Chief of Staff in Atlanta, and on to Office of the President Director at AT&T in Dallas/Fort Worth. Life isn’t always rosy for Hudson, though. Most recently, her house and neighborhood were badly damaged in the devastating 2019 North Dallas tornado. Worse, her beloved 11-year old Schnauzer became disoriented at their temporary home, ran out into the street and was hit and killed by a passing car. Shortly afterward, her brother had to undergo open heart surgery. But Hudson doesn’t let trauma, grief, or stress get her down. In her Living Boldly blog, she says that she’s grateful for these recent difficult months - and she’s still smiling through it all.

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Her indefatigable attitude has carried Hudson over three decades, and it’s guided her more recent success. Her keynote speaking engagements are custom-tailored to motivate and inspire each different audience. She provides professional coaching for speaking effectively, overcoming fears, managing conflicts, and leadership development. With Leave A Legacy That Counts, Hudson has put on paper what has always excited her most: Helping others find their true values and life purpose, then showing them how to create legacies for generations to come. We were privileged to speak with Terrie Davoll Hudson recently. Here’s what she told us.

Monica: What inspired you to write about encouraging people to think about their legacy and the impact they could leave on others? Terrie: I was giving a keynote speech at the Alabama Leadership Conference in 2017 about making a leadership legacy count. I’ve been a leader in business for many years and I love talking about what it means to be an exceptional leader. After my presentation, many people came to me and asked, “What more do you have on the topic of legacy?” I had nothing. Over the course of that day people kept pursuing me with questions about legacy. Their questions kept needling in my mind after I went home. The more I thought about what legacy meant, the more I realized I wanted to write about it. What does it mean to leave a legacy? What are we called to do with that legacy? That’s how I started it. I prayed and meditated on it, and it just evolved. Monica: What lessons during your long career in corporate America helped you write your book, Leave a Legacy That Counts? Terrie: Being an African American woman, I was the only woman and the only person of color in my office early in my career. I had to pave my way on my own in many cases. There were no sponsors, no mentors. I had to figure that out on my own. I had not come from a business environment. In fact, my mother was the first person in her family to go to college. We didn’t have that experience of corporate life or business life.

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I remember realizing that I had to create a path of those who were coming behind me. Sometimes you don’t want to do that. But it is, in fact, what you are going to do by virtue of being the first. That became very important to me and I took it very seriously not just for women of color, but for anyone interested in making a path for themselves. That was the first lesson. The second lesson lay in watching other people. I sometimes had to learn by osmosis, by watching what other people did well — and what they did not do well. You can create a legacy of goodness or you can create a legacy of chaos. Either way you’re creating it. I watched people create legacies in both and realized, “Here’s what I’m going to adopt and here’s what I’m going to leave.” Monica: How important is it for companies large or small to think about how they can have a positive impact on society in addition to bringing in profits? Terrie: I am a firm believer that the companies that are most successful focus on their people. You cannot deliver exceptional customer service, find innovative ways to do business, or anything that you might want to do without focusing on the people who have to deliver on your behalf. I remember a manager telling me once early in my career, “Terrie, you will never be successful because you care about people too much.” It struck me like a knife in the heart. He was very much focused on bottom line. But over the years he was not successful. He burned through people instead of supporting them and helping them figure out how to do their jobs better; how to gain new experiences and expertise. Luckily, I didn’t listen to him. I don’t believe in that. Companies which want to be on the cutting edge in 2025 need to invest in their people today with the skills needed for the company they envision in five or ten years. You can’t wait until it’s time. You’ve got to get invested in those people now with the equipment, the resources, and the skills they need to do what you want them to do in the future.

Monica: Some companies also focus on what they can do within their own communities, on a project, or something worldwide. They’re looking to leave a different type of legacy, both internal and external. Terrie: Several companies come to mind. Tom’s Shoes. AT&T. The commitment of many corporations today is to start small. But if you’ve got people who want to spend their time in the community, give them a paid hour or two per month to spend time collectively supporting the community. That’s one way. Another way for a company to leave a more external legacy is through a foundation. Many corporations have foundations that support the community's education, housing, and social services like ensuring that people have good meals to eat and their kids can come to school and be well-fed. That can absolutely be part of any corporation’s vision. What do I have for my company from a finance perspective? What do I want my employees to be about? How do I want them to feel about my company? How do I want other stakeholders, including communities near and far, to think about what we’re doing? How do we contribute to them? These are wonderful ways for companies to be self-sustaining and have long-lasting impact. Just this past week I saw a great example of this. There was a tornado that impacted my home and neighborhood. I opened the front door and there were trees everywhere. Just devastation. It makes you cry as you walk through the community. But at the doorstep of every home was a big bucket from Lowe’s filled with cleaning supplies and rags. We didn’t ask for them; Lowe’s simply delivered them to every single home in my community. That is saying, “We care about you as our community neighbor, not just your dollar.”

If you want a return on your equity and investment, it is paramount that you focus on the people who will deliver that return.

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

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Monica: Can you imagine how much more wonderful this world would be if other companies did the same? Terrie: I find it interesting how many CEOs think about dollars and internal issues, but not about the community. We’re not independent. We are interdependent, and the best companies and the best leaders are always thinking about how to support a community in its time of need. Monica: You talk about being intentional when building a legacy. What does that look like? Terrie: As I mentioned before, you’re leaving a legacy whether you are thinking about it or not. But let me say one other thing about legacies. To me, a legacy is not what you leave when you die. A legacy is what you are creating right now in your life and in your community. When you go from that perspective, you have to be very intentional. Think about what you want to create, what you want to be known for. I believe the best way to begin that process is to think about your purpose. Look at it from a perspective of purpose. If you don’t know your purpose, look at what you are most gifted at doing. When you come from that perspective it is easier to figure out how to leave a legacy. Look at the causes that matter to you — education, seniors, healthcare, whatever. How do you transform those into meaningful contributions to the people around you, your family, your coworkers, people in your community, your bigger community, or your global community? Monica: As you talk to people and travel across the country, what do you find are 8

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

some common reasons people haven’t yet considered their legacies? Terrie: People say, “I don’t have any money. I don’t have any wealth.” People think of legacies as financial or material. It’s great to have money and furniture and all that you accumulate to give to someone. But we all have something to give and it can be really simple. It’s looking for things that are important to you. Money is irrelevant. Age is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how old you are. We all have something to contribute to the good of the people that we work with or the people that we live around. The second thing people say is, “My ideas are too big.” But any idea starts with a plan. It starts with step A and goes through step Z. Just get on the path and keep walking. As long as you’ve got some ideas and people around you who buy into your idea, you can make it happen. It may not be overnight, but you can in fact make it happen. The third thing that I hear, which hurts my heart, is, “I don’t have anything.” They’re talking about their selfworth. “I’m somebody who can’t contribute to anybody because I’m not even happy with myself.” That one is tougher to deal with. When you really believe you have no worth, then we have more work to do to help you get there. But there are things that we can do to support people who feel they have no worth. You don’t have to come from anything. Look at me. I come from a very poor neighborhood in Columbia, South Carolina. We lived very minimally compared to most other people, but that didn’t stop us from feeling and knowing that we were as good as anybody else. Not better, but as good as. As long as you believe that, then possibilities are open to you. Look at the possibilities in your life. I love to ask the question, “Why not?” What’s keeping you from making things happen? If you want to be an educator, or you want to go to school, why not? You may have to work hard to fulfill that dream, but there are ways to make that happen. Monica: People sometime think that if they don’t have money, then anything they do doesn’t have value. But visiting people in a nursing home has a lot of value. Terrie: A lot of value. My mother-in-law used to write everyone she ever met. All my friends got letters from her. She also wrote to every incarcerated black man

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

that she could find an address for. She wrote them consistently for years and years. That’s saying, “I value you.” That’s saying, “You are somebody.” That was her calling — to affirm other people by saying, “I value you. You have value because I say so.” Monica: You talk about writing your memoir or, if you dare, your obituary. Terrie: What if you wrote your memoir and there were a lot of gaps about who you are, what you contributed, or what you’re leaving behind for people? Whether it’s the job you just left, or your children who just left for college, what have you deposited into them? Now’s the time to rethink how you’re spending your time and the legacy that you’re leaving. Writing your own obituary is probably one of the most eye-opening things we can do. We’re all going to get one. Write yours and then ask what it says about you. You want to be able to write an obituary that you believe in, is pleasing to your creator, one that says, “I have used everything that you gave me to care for others and I have contributed handsomely, and when I’m gone many of those feelings will still be around.”

and you’ve not given much thought to it. The way you think about it will be very different than a 20-year old. But it doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Monica: How can parents plant the seed in their child’s mind about the importance of leaving a legacy? Terrie: It’s critical to get children thinking about it early on. The first thing is to demonstrate what service looks like. Number one, take them with you when you are doing good things in the community. Number two, encourage them to think about what’s important to them. Ask them, “How would you like to be perceived at your school?” or “What’s missing at your school that you think you and only you are equipped to help with?” “Look at your grandmother or your grandfather. Are there things that you notice about elderly people that maybe you can help out with?” It’s beginning the conversations around service that I think gets children ready to move forward. Children want to be helpful. They want to be thought of as someone who has contributed. So, it’s a matter of helping them figure out what that is early in their lives.

Monica: At what age should people start thinking about leaving a legacy?

Monica: Your grandfather left a legacy to you: a love of reading and orating. How does that impact you today?

Terrie: Before your 20s, it probably isn’t intentional in the same way, although there are children who see a need and create fabulous kinds of ongoing legacies.

Terrie: Both my grandfather and my mother had a tremendous impact on my love of reading and speaking. I remember as a little girl volunteering to recite the longest poem for Easter Sunday. That was my first oration, if you will, in front of a large audience. I loved it. I loved seeing my family out in the audience encouraging me.

Your 20s is an optimal time to begin thinking about your legacy because you still have a long life to live. You have a long road ahead and you can create lots of legacies from that age. What you start with, hopefully, is not what you end with 30 or 50 years from now. Once you are ready to step out into the world on your own, that’s the time to start evaluating what’s important to you and what causes matter to you. Ask “Where can I have an impact on the people around me? What do I value?”

Over the years I’ve loved speaking at conferences. Even before I retired and did that for a living, I would speak anywhere about anything related to family, service, and leadership. Today, that is what I do for part of my living as a keynote speaker.

Age is irrelevant. It can be any time. I’m actually putting together kits for leaving a legacy at different age points. As a 20-year-old you may think, “I don’t have much.” Yes, you do. It’s just a matter of beginning to think intentionally right now. Let’s say you’re in your 60s or 70s

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

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Monica: Would you say your book, Leave a Legacy That Counts, is for both men and women? Terrie: Yes. In fact, the first person who bought my book was a young man from the bank that I go to. The second person to buy my book was also a man. It is really for anyone interested in leaving a legacy that counts. Any person who is interested in exploring the meaning of a legacy, the meaning of understanding your why, the meaning of being intentional right now. Monica: What legacy would you like to leave? Terrie: Perseverance and resilience. My life is an example of these important attributes. I have persevered through many different traumas as well as many beautiful times. The first thing that I want my family and friends to know — and they do — is that you can be resilient. It doesn’t matter what has happened to you. Just keep moving forward. Be resilient.

with your values, you’re never going to be happy in the long run. Sometimes those decisions are more difficult because you are aligning them with your values. I help people grow. I help people tap into their full potential. That’s part of my legacy as well. Monica: That’s a wonderful legacy to have. You are impacting thousands of lives because the people that you serve will do the same thing for someone else. Terrie: I ask people, “If we’ve helped you, who are you going to help?” Don’t wait until you have it all together to start helping people. You have a bigger impact when you help people and they pass it forward. Monica: What is your last word? Terrie: Be bold. Be bold as you think about the legacies you want to leave. Be intentional. Think about the things that matter to you. Remember: legacy can be created at any age. You can create all kinds of legacies as you go forward in your life. It’s all about the doing. It’s not about the thinking about it, but about the doing. Deposit your best in others and create the legacy that means the most to you. 

I love to hear my granddaughter use some of the same phrases that my grandmother taught me. My grandfather said to us all the time, “Your word is your bond. If you don’t have integrity with your word, then you have nothing.” I have tried to embrace that. I have created a life of service. I’ve served on boards for nonprofits. I’m very committed to helping women go to school, children to be fed, and young mothers to know how to care for their babies and children. I have given money and time to those causes. I see the benefit in other people. Not just in my family, but in other people that I’ve helped along the way. Now they’re helping other people. That part of my legacy lives on. Another legacy is that you can be and do whatever you’re willing to work hard to become. If you’re on one path and you choose another, that’s okay. Keep moving. You can move forward using the skills and expertise that you already have. I’ve tried to help people make those career transitions, or help them find their leadership style, or help them achieve their personal and professional goals. One of the things that I think I do very well is helping people ensure that the decisions they make align with their values. When you make a decision that’s not aligned 10

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Available on www.amazon.com

us ine ss my b ing mi nd As a business owner, you must communicate your companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goals to your employees. Each employee needs to have a clear understanding of where you are, the state of the company, and how he or she can help you get there. You need to create a process where EVERY employee understands your goals and how his or her individual goals are aligned with your vision and mission.

5 Strategies

for Building a Top-Notch Team BY DONNA CARLETTA

MINDING MY BUSINESS

eading a team is hard work! There are so many variables that can make the role as team leader challenging.

It’s easy to get discouraged when you see that your team isn’t displaying the skills and strengths you thought they had. You’ll probably even spend some time wondering if you picked the right people. However, before you make any drastic decisions, you owe it to yourself and your team to assess the effectiveness of your own role. Are you being the best team leader you can be? Perhaps a new approach could drastically change your team’s results! A key concept that many team leaders miss is that you have to be ready to be the team! You have to be willing to be the example you want your team to follow. There’s no doubt you know what you want from the team members – now it’s time to show them. Signals That Team Members Look For Anybody who isn’t at the top of a team always looks for guidance from above. There’s an unspoken expectation that you can and will guide them in the right direction. Display these concepts to lead your team to the top:

WILLINGNESS TO INVOLVE THEM. The first thing your workforce looks for is how inclined you are to include them in matters related to the operation of the business. • Team members like to know that their input is appreciated. It encourages them to embrace the idea of being part of the team.

ABIDE BY YOUR RULES. Another signal that team members pay keen attention to is whether you spit out directives but follow your own agenda when it comes to compliance with rules. • If you want and expect compliance in specific areas from the team, you must be prepared to comply as well.

LOYALTY. Whether the team you’re leading is a football team, company department, or an entire organization, your team will rely on you to show how loyal you are to the cause. • If you’re not in agreement with every policy that’s in place, it’s important to avoid expressing your disagreement in the presence of your workforce. • Keep leadership discussions among leaders. • Maintain a positive outlook on the organization even if you’re not necessarily happy with your circumstances.

RECOGNITION OF CONTRIBUTION. There’s nothing team members like better than being recognized for their contribution to the success of the team. Giving your team members sincere compliments by saying things like "Good work" or "You did it" will show them that you truly value their efforts. • When they see that they are valued, your team members will step up their efforts to do an excellent job. • By making each member feel important, you’ll have everyone on the team performing at a higher level, resulting in greater success for your team.

VALUE THEIR POINT OF VIEW. One of the best ways to get the kind of results you want from your team is to really get down to their level. Have consideration for their perspective and the things that make them tick. • The sooner you embrace their viewpoint and show that it’s a welcome part of the organization, the sooner you’ll be able to build an effective workforce.

Use these strategies to inspire your team. They’ll be motivated to work harder to garner the success and accolades you seek as a top-notch team. 

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

5 Tips to

Successful Online Business Networking BY KATHY KENTTY

MINDING MY BUSINESS

nline business networking is not only about finding followers and “likes” for your social network pages. It is more about making a connection. How can you benefit most from your online networking efforts? First you want to build a relationship on mutual ground that both parties benefit from. Second, be clear about what you offer and how that helps others. Third, don’t be afraid to give referrals to businesspeople that can help your clients. Be the person that goes out their way to thank someone or offer someone a mentoring relationship. Next, know the reason you are networking and don’t waver. There are many rabbit trails in the business world – put your “focus” glasses on and get to work. Finally, when networking online you need to open up the lines of communication. Ask open-ended questions to encourage conversation. Once you get the other person talking start actively listening so you know how best to meet their need. 1. Build Relationships Not Sales Networking is all about the relationship you build with your business peers. Get them talking about you in a positive way. Engage them in a discussion of current business practices. Reveal a little about who you are in real life. Try not to use “third person” when talking; rather use your real name and the pronoun “I” instead of “we” and “our”. Contribute valuable information to the conversation that will encourage sharing. Offer to help them build their business by guest blogging on your site or being interviewed for a podcast. 2. Give Over and Beyond What is Expected There are some things that are expected in a business relationship like getting contact information, referring businesses to clients, supporting independent businesses and reviewing products and giving feedback. Go one up and offer your peers more than what is expected. Instead of sending an email, send a handwritten card. Do what 90% of your business peers don’t - call them and set up a gathering to brainstorm ways in which you can support each other’s business.

3. Know Your Purpose & Be Committed to It If you know why you are networking online you will waste less time. It might be helpful for you to write this down and place it at your desk. This way when you set aside time to network on social media or forums you are focused on what needs to be done instead of dilly dallying and wasting time. Setting a timer might be beneficial at first. Having an accountability partner can also benefit you. Mastermind groups are great for this – connect with each other once a week and review your goals. 4. Ask Open Ended Questions Just as in face-to-face contacts you want to engage in conversation, your online relationships are no different. To do this try not to ask yes or no questions rather ask open-ended questions that will get people talking. Find out what they are looking for and how best you can serve them. Asking them about who their ideal customer is will help you make profitable referrals. 5. Be Interested and Listen Actively You might not be able to look your contact in the eyes and smile online but you can still relay interest by actively listening (or reading) to what they have to say. Instead of working out your response, listen for clues as to what is important to them. If you need to, write a couple of notes down. Managing your online networking can be beneficial if you have a plan and incorporate it wisely. Remember to nurture relationships, listen attentively, ask questions to spark conversation, give more than is expected and above all know your purpose and don’t deviate from it.  Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

Learn From the Mistakes of Top Executives to

Improve your Management Skills BY MARLA GEM

MINDING MY BUSINESS

hen a poll of American executives asked the bosses to acknowledge their biggest mistakes, the most frequently cited problems centered on a lack of communication.

The study was made by one of the largest temp agencies in the country and included executives from human resources, finance, and marketing departments with the nation's 1,000 largest companies. These are a few responses to the question, "What is the biggest mistake you ever made as a boss?"

1 "I didn't give recognition to someone who turned out to be one of my best employees and soon lost her." 2 "I kept someone on who should have been let go." 3 "I encouraged a manager to hire an internal candidate when an external candidate was better qualified." 4 "I didn't pick up on signals from disgruntled employees." 5 "I failed to understand an employee's situation and ended up losing him." 6 "I wish I had provided more opportunities for subordinates to engage in projects they enjoyed." 7 "I thought I knew what my employees' problems were without talking to them." 8 "I delegated work on an important project but never checked to see if it was done." 9 "Hiring people who were too similar to me has been a mistake."

Managing people effectively requires offering support and making tough decisions. Few people are naturally skillful at both. Being a boss also requires a lot of patience. It requires that you understand the professional goals of your team members as well as their skillsets so that they are in the right positions which enable them to perform at their highest level.

Your employees are in the trenches getting the work done so they know what’s working and what processes can be improved. Allow them to provide feedback and be willing to consider them. So, if you manage of a team of people, consider the mistakes these bosses made and think about how you can establish an effective line of communication with your team and make better decisions. 

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

How Do You Leverage Your Existing Audience? BY PAT MARKEL

MINDING MY BUSINESS

ou know you have a product or service that your audience wants. So why aren’t they jumping on it?

I run into this with new clients all the time. They’ve been on TV. They’ve done the interviews. They get good traffic on their website and social media. But for whatever reason, nothing is happening—it’s not converting into business. Their company isn’t growing and they aren’t hitting anywhere near their revenue potential. They need to leverage their existing audience to reach their goals. But how? This is a complicated question, but it all comes down to this: are you serving your own ego, or are you serving your audience? All the attention in the world doesn’t mean a thing if you’re just talking about yourself. Instead, every single opportunity needs to be used to show people what you can do for them.

Using “You” Language If you already have an audience, odds are good that you already know your own personal “why” and “how” and “where” (which you can read more about here and here). This is an excellent start—it guides the types of

opportunities you take advantage of and helps you to motivate yourself to hustle every single day. But something isn’t quite clicking. And nine times out of ten, it’s because your publicity is too focused on you. The harsh reality is, your audience doesn’t spend money because they care about you. They spend money when they feel you care about them and can help them. The most powerful interviews for generating business are the ones in which the person being interviewed makes the entire experience about their audience—not themselves. This can be as simple as shifting from “I” language to “you” language. For example, instead of saying, “I’m a media coach,” I say, “I help you generate publicity for your business through the media.” Think about it in terms of what your customer wants or needs, and lean into that for every single media opportunity you have.

Utilizing Calls to Action Sometimes it’s really that simple: are you forgetting to ask your audience to do something? A “call to action” is when you explicitly ask someone to click, buy, read, visit, call, or otherwise do. I’ve found that this is where many of my clients who are new to publicity get uncomfortable. They would prefer that their audience connect the dots themselves and seek out their help. Unfortunately, that’s not how people work. They need to be told—clearly and politely, of course—what you’d like them to do. Think of it as an invitation. Sure, your friend could show up at your home unannounced, but they probably won’t. Think about the interviews you’ve seen on TV with successful authors. After the interview, either the author or the host will hold up the book and say, “This book is now available from XYZ. Buy it now!” They tell you exactly what to do and how to do it, and it doesn’t feel overly aggressive. It feels like an invitation—either you’ll take them up on it, or you won’t. You need to get comfortable delivering calls to action. If you have a product or service that could improve your audience’s life, consider it a favor to let them know directly how you can help them. If your audience isn’t responding to you how you’d expect, change up how you talk to them. A small adjustment can go a long way.  Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A DYNAMIC LEADER, part 1 BY PAT MARKEL

efore we get into the details of effective leadership, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page regarding what a leader actually is. There are a thousand definitions of leadership, and we want to ensure that we’re all speaking the same language. Generally speaking, a leader is someone who motivates others to act toward achieving a common goal. A leader is able to rally people around a cause and move them to take action toward achieving a particular objective. A good leader inspires people to do something bigger than themselves. To work together to accomplish key objectives. To pool their strengths and resources to achieve great things. A good leader helps their team members become the absolute best version of themselves. Winston Churchill, in inspiring the people of England to keep fighting in WWII, is a great example of leadership. Thanks to his inspirational leadership, the people of England made great sacrifices in their fight against the evil Nazi regime.

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

A leader is different than an organizer. An organizer gathers resources and deploys them in the most effective manner. Yes, an organizer brings people together, but they don’t inspire them to take big, bold action. Organizers are about efficiency while leaders are about vision. What traits and talents characterize a good leader? Here are 7 high-level characteristics: VISION. An effective leader has a clear vision of where they want to go and how they’re going to get there. They understand where they currently are and are crystal clear on what it’s going to take for them to get to where they want to be. The leader must be able to communicate this vision clearly to his team. MOTIVATION. The effective leader is highly skilled at motivating people. They know what makes others tick and are able to tap into those emotional triggers. Through their

words and actions, they are able to motivate people to do things they maybe wouldn’t do otherwise. SERVICE. The best leaders are those who serve their followers. They seek to serve their team and make their team as effective as possible. They support their team members in whatever ways they can rather than constantly focusing on their own agenda and what they want to accomplish. EMPATHY. A leader must be able to place themselves in the shoes of others. If they want to create consensus among their team, they must be able to understand the concerns of others and effectively respond to those concerns. CREATIVITY. The highly effective leader is creative when it comes to achieving their outcomes. They use their imagination to look beyond what is directly in front of them to see what’s truly possible. They’re able to see how they can effectively leverage the skills of their followers for the maximum good.

DEMANDING. The best leaders demand the best from their teams. They don’t settle for mediocre results or half-hearted efforts. Rather, they set an example of passionate work for their team, and they expect their team to follow their example. MANAGEMENT. A leader must be able to manage those who follow him. They must be able to strategically guide their team through complex processes, effectively resolve challenges they encounter, and marshal the resources of their team to be deployed for the most good. None of these characteristics on their own makes for a good leader. The best leaders possess a combination of some, if not all of these characteristics. They are able to be both creative and demanding at the same time. They can manage effectively while also expressing empathy for their team members. They can provide vision while serving their followers at the same time.

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

MINDING MY BUSINESS

It’s important to understand that leadership isn’t about having a particular position, title, or personal attributes. Just because you’re an executive doesn’t mean you’re a leader. Having the corner office doesn’t mean you’re good at leadership. Having a charismatic personality doesn’t make you a leader. Kevin Kruse puts it this way:

Leadership is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

The good news is that leadership is NOT something you’re born with. Rather, it’s something you learn over time through practice. And you can become a better leader than you currently are. If you’re not an effective leader now, you can grow and become an effective leader. You can learn the skills and techniques necessary to have the social influence Kevin Kruse talks about. In the next issue, we will identify a few principles of highly effective leadership in part two of this article. 

January/February 2020

5 Strategies for Building a Top-Notch Team How to Turn Your Creativity Into a Rewarding Career

Marc Hoberman

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Let Your Struggles Define You

contents EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Marc Hoberman Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Let Your Struggles Define You

EMPOWER YOURSELF

34 36 38 40

How to Make a Smart Career Change How to Respond to Job Interview Questions About Strengths and Weaknesses How to Turn Your Creativity Into a Rewarding Career Setting Boundaries: How Establishing Limits Can Transform Your Life

LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE

43 45

Lake Heyhowareya Recipes

This year, why not take the road less traveled and see where it leads you?

Marc Hoberman

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Let Your Struggles Define You

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

“T

he enemy arrives without warning.” So begins Adversity Defeated: Turn Your Struggles Into Strengths, the latest book by speaker, educator, and author Marc Hoberman. Hoberman is describing epilepsy, the seizure disorder which afflicts about 50 million people worldwide. One of the world’s most common neurological diseases, it’s also one of its cruelest, causing stigma and shame to people and their families whether they live in Uganda or Florida. Hollywood, Florida, is where Hoberman and his family suddenly moved when he was 16. The popular teen was crushed when his family left their happy life in New York. But he had no idea what bigger adversity was coming down the pike. One day when he was driving his cool new Mustang, Hoberman had a seizure. Fortunately, he survived the accident. But now he was condemned to a life of slavery to this new, strange disease. The move and the diagnosis were a double whammy that threw the teenager into a two-year tailspin of depression. For the next 35 years, Hoberman kept his diagnosis a secret from all the world except 10 very trusted people. Depression, shame, and the looming unpredictability of grand mal seizures are debilitating, but Hoberman pressed on. While earning his BA in Liberal Arts at SUNY Albany, Hoberman got certified in New York State and started teaching. He also started The One Minute Educator in 1985, a groundbreaking series of education video shorts covered topics including bullying, grammar, and SAT preparation (now available on Udemy). About the time Hoberman earned his Master’s degree in Education at SUNY at New Paltz, he also started a tutoring business, Grade Success Education Inc. Grade Success Education has now evolved into an online platform offering one on one tutoring for students K-12 in any subject, plus college advisement, admissions counseling, and test preparation from the NYS Regents to the LSAT. 28

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Since 2003 Hoberman has been advising schools, camps, and corporations on team-building, peer mediation and conflict resolution, leadership training, staff training, performance evaluations, and more. He’s a dynamic speaker who educates his audiences on topics ranging from peer pressure, drug use, bullying, depression, overcoming adversity, study skills, and memory improvements. He’s been featured on television, radio, and podcasts. Some may see Hoberman’s epilepsy as a weakness. He views it as a strength - and an opportunity to educate himself and others. With Adversity Defeated, Hoberman helps teens and their parents navigate the many issues facing them daily. But he also intends to seize each and every opportunity not in spite of his illness, but because of it.

Monica: What was life like growing up in the Hoberman family? Marc: It was a very nice childhood in Yonkers, New York. A lot of fun, a lot of good friends, and very good schools. Unfortunately, we moved when I was 16. My father wanted to temporarily retire to Florida for the summer. That was a rough age to move. That’s also when some other things happened that inspired the memoir that I wrote. Monica: You were diagnosed with epilepsy at age 16. How did that affect you when you learned about it? Marc: It was a longer learning process than it should have been. It was difficult having just moved from my childhood home with only three weeks’ notice. Only a couple of months after that, I was in a car accident while having my first known seizure. I was clinically depressed. I know this now after 33 years in education. We never went to a psychiatrist, but my mother gave me some great advice: “This is not going to define who you are. We’re going to learn from this. It’s going to keep you grounded.” I didn’t follow that advice for at least two years. I was having a self-pity parade. I really was depressed not to be able drive my 1997 Mustang because I was not seizure-free for six months, as was the law in Florida. It was difficult until I went to the library and learned more about my illness. Then I became determined not to let the struggle define me. I was going to define me.

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

Monica: You experienced several other problems along the way as well. Why do you believe you were able to rise above them all to become the person that you are today? Marc: That’s the mantra of the book: “Don’t let your struggles define you. You define you.” I am not the person I am today in spite of my illness. I’m the person I am today because of it. Rather than have it belittle me, I embraced it and learned more about it. Unfortunately, this took me a long time. I was diagnosed around 17 but only about nine people knew until I was 54, when my memoir came out. When I was 26, I was a teacher in a very tough neighborhood in the Bronx. Gang activity and things of that nature. We were experimenting taking me off the medication, and I had a seizure in school.

Even so, very close family members had no idea I was an epileptic when the memoir came out. Two family members read the book and said, “What a great fiction writer!” I had to convince them that it wasn’t fiction. People were shocked. Monica: How did your friends and family perceive you once they learned that it was truth and not fiction? Marc: They had no choice but to perceive me as the person I was, not the illness I had. The memoir is called Adversity Defeated: Turn Your Struggles Into Strengths. It’s not about epilepsy. It’s about overcoming adversity. My adversity just happened from epilepsy. So, they viewed me in a positive way. I don’t know if it would have been as positive if I had told people at a younger age. I lost some friendships with people who were too scared to let me drive even Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

after I was cleared to drive. They felt uncomfortable that I might have a seizure in front of them. I learned that quality friendship is more important than the quantity of friendships.

I help parents and students academically, but also with peer meditation and conflict resolution. In all the school districts and all kinds of people, I see that it’s a lack of confidence.

Monica: How has dealing with your condition enabled you to see life from a positive perspective?

Unfortunately, many bullies have been bullied. And there’s more than just student-on-student bullying. I’ve seen teachers get bullied by students. I’m talking about sixth grade students and 45-year-old teachers. Zero tolerance has to be the methodology implemented from the very beginning.

Marc: I could’ve turned it into something positive by age 19 or 20. I didn’t have to wait until I was 54. But I’m a big believer in a support system. As an educator, I had the honor of coauthoring a book by a former student. I was his SAT tutor. He’s a recovering opioid addict. Helping him write his book, I told him that a support system is not enough except: “You must be at the center of that support system.” He agreed with me. He had gone through rehab seven times but was not successful until he became the person with buy-in. Monica: When did you decide that you wanted to become a teacher? Marc: At age 12, I would always play-act westerns and fight scenes from movies in my room. I would often pretend that I was a teacher. I always said to my parents, “If I ever won a million dollars, I would become a teacher, a lawyer, or a doctor.” My father always said that if you love what you do, then you’re not really working. That’s how I felt about teaching even when I had those tough years in the Bronx. It was just a phenomenal career for me. Monica: Today you work with parents to help their teens to overcome issues such as bullying, depression, suicide, and drug use. What is the common denominator that causes a teen to become a bully, for example, or to use drugs? Marc: Peer pressure is tremendous. A lack of selfconfidence is tremendous. I’ve learned that through my tutoring business, Grade Success Education.

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Monica: How can parents help their teens deal with that type of negativity? Marc: It’s a double-edged sword. It has to have a proper balance. For example, if somebody bullied someone in my class, even in the slightest way, such as saying, “That was a stupid answer,” or they disrespected someone’s culture, I reacted very quickly, harshly, and consistently. Never ignore any negative behavior, and certainly never ignore any bullying type of behavior. However, I’m a bigger believer in rewarding anti-bullying activity. Parents, with their busy lives, sometimes only react when people do something bad or if their child bullies somebody. But you have to reward them for good behavior too. How about giving them attention when they do something good? In my classroom, when someone helped another person with a problem, I would make a big deal out of that and say it to the class. Some kids must never get complimented because I’d give a slight compliment and they’d smile for an hour. Positive reinforcement is an important method. Monica: You currently tutor students. How can you detect if a student has a problem that needs to be addressed? What are some of the “markers” that you can identify and determine if something is not right? Marc: There’s nothing more powerful than questioning. You have to develop a rapport and trust. You have to meet teens at their reality. Their reality doesn’t have to be good; it doesn’t have to be what you agree with, but if it’s their reality, that’s where you have to meet them. I hear certain things. Sometimes people seem sluggish. A lot of my tutoring now is online. Even without seeing

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

them, just talking to them and listening is very important. Listening is very different than simply hearing. Monica: What keeps you motivated every day? Marc: I absolutely thrive on helping others. I love to see the light bulb go off when I say something that I know resonates with what they’re feeling. I’ve been blessed to have people tell me, “Mr. Hoberman, you changed my life. You’re my favorite teacher.” Helping people not do the wasted two-year pity party that I did really helps me pay it forward. It enables me to teach even though I retired from teaching to expand my tutoring business and my speaking business. That’s what motivates me every minute of every waking hour. Monica: You also work with companies, team-building and teaching effective employee performance evaluation as a communication tool. How do your experiences help teach them about that specifically? Marc: That happened by accident. After teaching, I became a camp director of a team travel program, and then a camp administrator. I realized that a huge part of what I did in school and camp was team-building and communication skills. What better place to do that than in the corporate sector? I can meet these workers at their reality because I worked with this generation in my classroom just a few short years ago. Monica: What message do you want people to receive from your book, Adversity Defeated? Marc: The message is: “Don’t let your struggles define you. You define you.” Everybody has struggles. It’s not about the struggle. It’s about your attitude in relation to the struggle. My mother had a stroke when she was 39 years old. She was a very strong woman. She gained back at least 95 percent of everything she lost. Two or three years after her stroke, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. She said, “Listen, you’re a good-looking boy. You’re funny. You have a lot of friends. You also have epilepsy and you’re going to deal with it. I’m going to get you the help you need and we’re going to help you to deal with this.” Here’s the reality: You want to sit and cry all day? You can do that too. My parents were very supportive even though they were not great at getting the medical care

I should have had. The book’s message is not only how to overcome, but how to meet your struggle at its reality and deal with it. How can you become your own support system? Monica: Would you say that writing this book has helped you to stay grounded? Marc: There’s no doubt, Monica. It’s been an emotional ride. I went to visit all the places from my childhood — Yonkers, back to the same swings that I was on as a child, Florida, back to the school where I had the seizure. That made me more effective in writing and visualizing. Monica: Who is the audience for Adversity Defeated? Marc: It’s a very quick read with some humor. People like that. Sixth graders up to adults read it. Both parents and their children. It’s rare to find a book that teens and parents can relate to and discuss. In 2017, I donated 30 books to a school in Uganda and I had a Skype session with them. During the call a 13-yearold girl said, “Mr. Hoberman, I loved your book but something was strange. You wrote that when you had a seizure, people ran towards you to help you.” She continued, “Here in Uganda, if somebody has a seizure, people run away because it’s a sign of the devil.” That threw me for a loop. How could anybody think that something like that is the sign of the devil? Lo and behold, in that area of the world, that’s what they thought. Monica: Through all your years teaching, what have you learned from your students? Marc: I have learned so much about inner strength and perseverance. All of my 33 years teaching were at schools in economically depressed areas. Most of the schools have 70 to 85 percent students on free and reduced lunch. The school I retired from must’ve had a very high number of students who were immigrants. After the earthquake in Haiti, the largest number of

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

EXTRAORDINARY PROFILES

people who came to the United States came to Spring Valley, New York, in Rockland County.

I’ve had parents pass away, relatives and friends get sick,

So, although I speak about how depressed I was to be displaced from the Yonkers to Florida, there are people who have been displaced from one country to another. That was all too familiar in that school. Academically some of them aren’t as far along, but the inner strength, love, wants, needs, desires, and hopes for the future are so powerful in these young people. It’s a wonderful thing to see.

rosy. To be able to keep your eye on the ball and know

Monica: Where can people go to learn about your tutoring service?

business struggles, teaching struggles. Every day is not that a bad day doesn’t define who you are. It’s how you react to it that will define who you are. Monica: I would love for you to close with your last word. Marc: I’ll go with my mantra for my book and life, and it’s easier said than done: Don’t let your struggles define you. You define you. 

Marc: They can go to www.gradesuccess.com. My author site is www.marchoberman.com. I’ve also partnered with Susan Brender whose career spans 40 years in radio and podcasting. We’re helping schools create podcasts to inform parents and the community about what's going on. Information about that can be found at www.educationalflame.com. Monica: What are the top five lessons you’ve learned that enable you to thrive? Marc: One is listening, for sure. What I’m meeting people at their reality, listening is very important. When I do peer mediation and conflict resolution, it’s not about what people want. It’s about what people need. Meeting people at their reality and finding out what they need makes a big difference, especially working with teenagers. Becoming your own support system, building your own self-confidence, and research. Research helped me. We didn’t have the internet when I was diagnosed. I can find out more about epilepsy in 45 minutes today than I could in two months when I was diagnosed at age 17. There’s a famous line from Julius Caesar by Shakespeare: “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Epilepsy was my struggle. It was my enemy. I made it my friend. I learned more about it. I didn’t take just any old doctor’s word for it. You have to be an advocate for yourself. Those five things are pretty much what have shaped me and helped me overcome many obstacles in life.

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Available on www.amazon.com

empower yourself

Any dream is possible if you adopt the right mindset, have the right people on your team, and take the necessary steps to achieve it.

How to Make a SMART CAREER CHANGE BY JON CRUMP

he choice of what career to pursue deserves careful merit, especially if you want to do what you love. If you make sufficient plans, you may discover that a career change provides you with new energy and motivation, instead of stress. Think about trying some of the following techniques that can help you to achieve a successful career change:

Understand your motivation. Delve deeper into the reasons for your desire to change careers. Is your current job not providing you with the satisfaction, compensation, fulfillment, and success you want from your career? If this is the case, try to determine the underlying reason for your 34

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

discontent, whether it is due to the fact that you do not like your supervisor or that you just do not care for the particular career industry. • You shouldn't consider changing fields if you are simply unhappy with your current position and/or your current firm. Moving into an entirely different profession is far more difficult than locating a position with another company in your present one. • You may be able to resolve issues regarding salary or duties without resorting to changing firms. Let your manager know what your negative issues are with respect to the job you're doing now. Your importance to the firm may get you more of what you need or want from it.

EMPOWER YOURSELF

Go back to school. Obviously, you'll need further education to make a career change to a field which requires completely different knowledge and skills (as from marketing to medicine). You may learn that a number of popular career changes will not require many classes. • Talk to the Director of Admissions at your local university to find out if the career you have in mind requires additional educational skills. If so, talk about scheduling, whether it is something that can be done online, tuition assistance, and so forth. • Perform an online search to find job postings that match the career you wish to follow. Most ads include the educational, skills, and work requirements that a candidate for the position must fulfill. • In certain situations, you may discover that the only additional thing you need for a career change is to obtain a certificate from a local college or trade school. For instance, most states do not require four-year college degrees if you are interested in becoming a beautician, a professional HVAC installer or a carpenter. That may not be too much to commit to if this is really what you want to do. • Think about whether the only thing you need is to take some college classes in order to have a more rewarding career. You may be able to get more money or more satisfying duties simply by taking some skills enrichment courses.

Don't jump straight into the deep end. If at all possible, stay financially stable in your present job till you've landed a new one. Make appointments for job interviews, and do not leave notice at your present job until you receive a job offer another employer. • It's always better to be looking for a new job when you still have one; this gives you more leverage when it comes to discussing financial compensation. • Right after you have found a job, it’s good to provide your present employer with a two- or three-week notice. If you give ample notice before quitting your job, you have a better chance of receiving a favorable job recommendation from your boss, and providing notice will also ensure that your supervisor knows to expect possible inquiries about your work record. You may feel somewhat overwhelmed at the thought of changing careers but there are plenty of jobs out there; they're just waiting for exceptionally qualified applicants. If you do not like your job, it makes no sense to work for the same company for years if you are unhappy. If you keep your family's financial well-being in mind, your next priority might as well be a career that will enhance your personal well-being.  Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

How To Respond to Job Interview Questions about Strengths and Weaknesses

EMPOWER YOURSELF

hen you’re interviewing for a job, it’s a safe bet that you’ll be asked about your strengths and weaknesses. It’s a smart question that covers a lot of important information. How you answer can reveal if you’re qualified for the position and whether you’re honest and self-aware. Look at it as an opportunity to demonstrate why you’re a top candidate for the job. Express your personality and describe what you can contribute to your potential new employer. Are you ready to talk about your personal strengths and weaknesses? Use these tips to develop a concise and compelling case that will convince the hiring manager that you’re a great match.

DISCUSSING YOUR WEAKNESSES DURING A JOB INTERVIEW:

BE PREPARED. You’ll make a more positive impression if you rehearse your response rather than trying to invent something on the spot. Write out some talking points and key words that you want to use.

STAY RELEVANT. Pick weaknesses that are clearly related to a work setting and the position you’re seeking. Review the job description. Customize your answers as much as possible.

FOCUS ON GROWTH. While you’re discussing possible flaws, you can still end on a high note. Let the interviewer know what you’ve learned from past experience, and what you’re doing to strengthen your capabilities and performance.

AVOID DEAL BREAKERS. Avoid meaningless clichés, like saying you’re a perfectionist, and think twice about saying anything that would remove you from consideration. For example, struggling to meet deadlines is difficult to overlook if you want to be a tax accountant.

TELL A STORY. Use anecdotes to illustrate your strengths and weaknesses. Follow the usual guidelines for effective stories, including sticking to the point and proceeding in a logical order.

DISCUSSING YOUR STRENGTHS DURING A JOB INTERVIEW:

SOUND CONFIDENT. Much of the advice for talking about weaknesses applies to strengths too, with some additional considerations. Work at sounding assured without coming across as arrogant or underestimating yourself.

STAND OUT. Maximize this opportunity for letting the interviewer know what special qualities you bring to the table. Focus on skills and traits that closely match the job description and work carefully on your presentation.

BE TRUTHFUL. Resist any temptation to exaggerate. Ensure you can back up your claims and deliver on what you’re promising if you do get hired.

BE SPECIFIC. While you can find sample language online, you’ll need to tailor your strengths to your own situation. Clarify what leadership abilities or software skills you possess. Tell stories that prove your accomplishments in past positions.

BRING A LIST. While you’ll probably want to discuss only 2 or 3 specific strengths in any one interview, it helps to have a few backup options too. You may discover information during the interview that makes one of your stories more or less persuasive.

LOOK AHEAD. Spell out how you can use your talents in your new workplace if the company decides to bring you on board. Your interviewer wants to know what positive impact you can have for them.

SHOW ENTHUSIASM. Attitude matters as much as hard and soft skills. While you’re delivering your message, pay attention to how you’re saying it. Let your interest and excitement show. Walk into your next interview prepared to discuss your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll be more likely to receive a job offer, and you’ll have a sound basis for evaluating whether the position will be satisfying for you. 

DO RESEARCH. If you’re having trouble evaluating yourself, ask your friends and coworkers. You can also find many resources online with lists of sample strengths and weaknesses.

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

How to Turn Your Creativity Into a Rewarding Career

EMPOWER YOURSELF

aybe you’d like to turn your creativity into a career but jokes about starving artists make you a little nervous. In reality, it is possible to make a living while making art. Whether you’re a drama student trying to figure out what to do after graduation or a professional thinking about making a career change, you can do something artistic with your life. Find out how to channel your creative skills into a rewarding career.

GETTING STARTED While there are many paths to developing a creative career, the first steps are often similar. A strong foundation will help you navigate your way to success.

USE THESE STRATEGIES: 1. Identify your goals. Figure out what kind of art you’re passionate about. You may be drawn to painting or writing fiction. 2. Do your research. There are some creative careers that pay well if you want to become an architect or marketing director. On the other hand, your prospects will probably be more limited if you want to carve penguins out of gourds. Think about your target audience and what skills you’ll need to develop. 3. Create a portfolio. Organize and promote your work. Put together samples that you can post on social media and show to potential clients. 4. Get a second job. You may need supplemental income at least temporarily. Look for a position related to your artistic interests or consider work that will leave you with enough time and energy to pursue your main objectives. 5. Plan an exit strategy. Some artists are content with a very small audience while others begin looking for another line of work. You may want to give yourself ten years to succeed on your own terms before considering alternative options.

Follow these tips: 1. Budget carefully. How will you deal with startup costs and fluctuating income? Monitor your cash flow and build up your savings. 2. Track your time. Without a boss expecting to see you from 9 to 5, you’ll need to take charge of your own schedule. Block out time for your most important priorities and give yourself enough days off to avoid burnout. 3. Acquire business skills. Even if you hire an accountant and other professionals, it helps to understand the basics of financial management and customer service. Take courses at a local community college or study online. 4. Share moral support. Network with other artists. Enjoy opportunities to collaborate and learn from each other. Make introductions and provide referrals.

REVISING YOUR CURRENT POSITION Smart companies value creative employees because they overcome challenges and spot promising opportunities. Regardless of your job title, you’ll be an asset if you approach your work like an artist. Consider these ideas: 1. Focus on innovation. Develop new ideas for increasing quality and saving time. Ask your coworkers for feedback and bring your proposals to your boss. 2. Produce content. Your company probably has a website and Facebook page that they’d like to update more often. Volunteer to write articles, conduct interviews, or take photos. 3. Launch your brand. Pay attention to your own personal brand too. Borrow ideas from colleagues and products you admire while cultivating your own authenticity.

WORKING FOR YOURSELF

4. Redecorate your space. Use your work environment to make a creative statement. Join the ambience committee at your company or beautify your own cubicle. Choose colors that make you feel happy and productive.

More than 40% of creative workers are self-employed, according to the Arts Council. Consider freelancing or starting your own business.

Find work that engages your talents and imagination. Use your art to earn a living or take a creative approach to whatever career you choose.  Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

Setting Boundaries: How Establishing Limits Can Transform Your Life 40

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

EMPOWER YOURSELF

ould you like to make more time for the important things in your life? Do you feel like you often get lost in the details?

If you can set healthy limits, you'll regain control of your life. Some benefits of this can include: • Life is simpler, more manageable, and therefore more stress free. • You're able to achieve your goals. • When you value your time and show that you have priorities, others will also see your time as valuable. • You become more effective in almost everything you do. Rather than focusing on life's trivia or biting off more than you can chew, read on for some tips on setting boundaries that work for you.

EXAMINE YOUR ROUTINE To start this process of boundary setting, look at your daily routine. What consumes most of your time? Try to identify the places where you feel overloaded. Maybe it's watching too much television, spending too much time on Facebook or Twitter, or subscribing to too many blogs or newsletters. Perhaps you're just glued to your mobile phone. Calculate how many hours you spend on such activities and cut down on them. Then, try allotting a certain amount of time to each of these activities. Maybe give yourself an hour for your email instead of two. Each day, write down exactly how much time you spent. After a week, look at your numbers. Did you do better than before you were tracking your time? More importantly, did you feel like you had more time for what you really wanted to do? Refrain from trying to deal with everything at once. Address each time individually, and you'll gradually see a change in your routine.

IDENTIFY ESSENTIAL TASKS Once you begin to set limits on your activities, you'll be able to simplify further by sticking with the essential ones and reducing the trivial. The essentials may be organizing your closet, catching up with your reading, or balancing your checkbook. Determine your values and goals. The essentials will depend on these. Whatever you choose should make a big difference to your life. For instance, if you want to be a good athlete, you'll make the time to train on certain days during the week. If you can't read through all your emails on those days, that's okay! That's not your #1 priority for the day, anyhow. You may want to make a list of things to do. Then you can set your priorities. For example, you could put off cleaning the kitchen shelves in order to pay your bills.

BE AWARE OF YOUR ENERGY LEVELS You may set out to clean your entire house in a day or take the kids to the park for a ball game and find your plans impossible because you just don't have that kind of energy. Know your limitations and work within those boundaries for greater success.

BUDGET Just like you'll want to know your personal limits, you also need to know your financial limits. Make an effort to align your spending with your goals and values. For instance, if one of your values is knowledge, you might choose to buy a book rather than a new outfit. Ultimately, if you're looking for more hours in your day, these tips are a great place to start. Try out some of the suggestions above and you'll begin to set boundaries that work for you. By doing this, you can simplify your life and make the most of work and leisure times. Best of all, you can start today. 

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

Lighter Side of

life

Lake Heyhowareya BY DOROTHY ROSBY

’m trudging across a slushy parking lot when an acquaintance hurries by and says, “Hi! How are you?” I say, “Great! How are you,” like I just won the lottery. Except I’m not fine. I recently had minor foot surgery, so I’ve been wearing a surgical shoe for a month. It’s black, open-toed and very attractive. (I’m kidding.) My foot hurts. The medical bills are starting to roll in and an opened-toed shoe isn’t ideal for tromping through ice and snow. So no, I’m not fine. Nor do I particularly care how she is at the moment. She’s also fine. Or at least she says she is, and then she hurries by. We could have just said hello. That’s what we meant. But I can’t just say hello. In fact, when I greet someone, what I usually say is, “Hey, how are ya,” except it’s one long word—heyhowareya, like a lake in Hawaii. Almost everyone I know greets other people with some version of how are you—how’s it goin’, how ya doin’, how the heck are you—whether they want to know or not. And almost everyone I know has a pat response: Fine. Good. Great! A few people have more creative answers: “I’m so good, it should be illegal.” Or, “If I were any better,

I could be arrested.” I want to smack them, then they definitely wouldn’t be fine. The whole ritual is so automatic that I can envision me coming across someone who’s just fallen off a ladder and saying, “Heyhowareya.” Worse, I can see them answering, “Fine. Could you call an ambulance please?” I guess there’s no real harm in the practice. We can safely assume that most of the time “how are you” is the equivalent of saying “hello” and that “fine” is just another way to say “hi” back. Most of us are aren’t expecting honesty when we ask someone how they are, nor are we always honest when we’re asked. If we were, our response might be something like, “You really want to know how I am? You don’t have that kind of time.”

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE

I suppose we could be more honest on both sides of the question. “I don’t have time to talk, so I’m not going to ask how you are, but I really do care.” “No problem. I’ll call you later.” Or, if we do have time, we might say, “How are you— really?” “I’d be better if my shoulder wasn’t acting up, my kids behaved and I had more money in my bank account. “Tell me more. Let’s start with your shoulder.” You do see this kind of honesty occasionally. Once at the grocery store, I greeted a man I barely know with my standard, “Heyhowareya?” And he said, “Not well. Not well at all.” And by the time I finally left him, neither was I.

Maybe more than honesty, we need awareness. If he’d been more aware, the man at the grocery store might have noticed that my eyes were glazing over, my ice cream was melting and my perishables were perishing while he filled me in on why he was not well. I recently saw an acquaintance who I’d heard has been quite ill. If I’d been paying more attention, I might have asked, “How are you doing?” in a gentle way like a friend instead of “Heyhowareya,” with all the enthusiasm of a game show host. I really do want to know how you are when I have the time to listen and, if it’s not well, I want to know exactly why. I’m snoopy that way. As for me, I’m okay. And yes, I realize you didn’t ask. But I figure you will the next time I see you. As for me, I’m okay, but I’ll be better when I can wear my regular shoe again. And yes, I realize you didn’t ask. But I know you will the next time I see you. 

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

RECIPES

BLACK BEAN CHILI, A HEARTY WINTER DINNER.

Dispel the myth. Chili is not a native Mexican dish and far from the fare of the South American country Chile. Most early references referred to "chili con carne" or meat stew. Some legends trace it to a Spanish nun who came to the New World in the 17th Century, while others say it was brought to San Antonio in 1731 by

settlers from the Canary Islands. Chili has evolved in many forms and has spawned cookoffs everywhere, from county fairs to national festivals. Except for meatless recipes, all have two things in common, meat and some peppers.

Quick Black Bean Chili Ingredients 1-pound ground beef chuck, turkey or chicken 1 medium onion, diced 1 14 ounce can chili-ready tomatoes 1 14 oz. can beef broth 1 14 ounce can black beans 1 teaspoon black pepper 3 tablespoons ketchup 10 dashes Louisiana hot sauce, Tabasco, or small can of peppers Salt to taste

Directions 1. In a large, deep skillet or wok, brown the meat and onions, adding the salt, pepper and hot sauce. Add the beans, tomatoes and broth and simmer on low for about 45 minutes stirring from time to time. 2. Serve with crackers as a main course or in a cup as a soup course. 3. The mixture freezes well and still tastes great as a leftover.

Exceptional People Magazine | January-February 2020

RECIPES

SHRIMP SCAMPI OVER LINGUINE

America is a melting pot of nationalities; each has its own cuisine that is passed down to the next generation. But few of us will turn down a meal of Italian pasta.

United States. They substituted shrimp and used both names to lessen confusion. Now, scampi can mean the method that shrimp are prepared.

Today, both restaurants and home chefs are adding to their pasta offerings. A favorite is linguine.

The following recipe is easy, delicious and addictive. It's quick, inexpensive, and elegant enough for any occasion. To make it even easier, this recipe uses fresh linguine and already-made cream sauce from the refrigerated section of your grocery store (sometimes called alfredo sauce), jazzed up with lemon.

Shrimp scampi is a staple in American-Italian restaurants, but is shrimp a scampi? Actually, scampi are crustaceans that look like miniature lobsters, but Italian immigrants couldn't find them in the

Simple Shrimp Scampi Over Linguine Ingredients 1 package (9 ounces) Buitoni Refriger¬ated Linguine 1-pound cooked jumbo-sized shrimp 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 tablespoon butter 1 clove garlic, crushed 1 container (10 ounces) Buitoni Re¬frigerated Light Alfredo Sauce 1 tablespoon fresh lem¬on juice 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel Chopped fresh parsley (optional) Grated fresh parmesan cheese

Directions 1. Heat oil and butter in a medium-sized skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and sauté one minute. 2. Add the shrimp, lemon juice, grated peel, and a little black pepper. Stir to coat shrimp and heat through. 3. Add the fresh Alfredo sauce and reduce heat to medium-low. Prepare linguine according to package directions; don’t overcook. 4. Either add the drained linguine to the skillet and toss well or place individual servings on plates and spoon the shrimp scampi sauce over the top. Sprinkle with parsley and coarsely grated cheese. 5. Linguine is best served hot. Buon Appetito!

January-February 2020 | Exceptional People Magazine

Profile Resources Terrie Duvall Hudson https://terriehudson.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/terriehudson/ https://www.facebook.com/TerrieLivingBoldly/ Pages 5 and 8: Photos of Terrie Dovall Hudson, courtesy of KTA Media Group, https://kaylatuckeradams.com

Marc Hoberman https://www.marchoberman.com/ https://www.marchoberman.com/my-books https://www.udemy.com/user/marchoberman/ https://nationalspeakers.com/marc-hoberman https://www.linkedin.com/in/marc-hoberman-b0403226/ https://www.facebook.com/marc.hoberman.7

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