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Sharing The Holidays with a Loved One with Dementia

By Lin Sue Cooney, Hospice of the Valley Director of Community Engagement Photo Courtesy of Hospice of the Valley

The holidays can be both enjoyable and stressful. The hustle and bustle may cause fatigue and overstimulation in someone living with dementia, leading to confusion, anxiety, or agitation. Caregivers may become overwhelmed, particularly with the additional challenges posed by COVID-19. Hospice of the Valley’s Dementia Team shares ways to modify traditional holiday celebrations so they continue to bring joy. • Try to maintain routine as much as possible. • Keep expectations realistic and give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably accomplish. Ask family and friends for help so there is time to do shopping, cooking or just rest. • Be flexible. Perhaps celebrate with brunch if your loved one is usually tired or anxious later in the day.

Allow him/her to direct the flow of the day. If he/she needs a nap, honor that need. • Keep gatherings small (three to five people) and simple. Help others understand that decisions regarding in-person and virtual (phone or video calls) celebrations will focus on whatever is best to keep your person safe and comfortable. • Do not talk in front of the person with dementia as if he/she is not present. Do not argue, contradict, or question. Avoid explanations that may overwhelm. Update others on changes so they can adjust their communication styles to fit the person’s current abilities. • Develop a ritual to honor the person living with dementia — maybe serve a favorite dish this person prepared in the past and give everyone the recipe.

Share favorite stories that involve the person. • Provide soft and sweet foods (ice cream is always a good choice). • To bring joy with sensory stimulation, choose ways that honor the lifelong preferences of the person with dementia and bring comfort. Choose experiences associated with the holiday — songs, traditional foods, the smell of seasonal potpourri or spices, holiday stories or photos.

The best gifts are often your time and focused attention. Simply listen to caregivers and offer opportunities for respite, even if it’s an hour or two of downtime. For the person living with dementia, gentle touch, conversation, and a comforting presence are reassuring.

And because time is even more precious during the holiday season, Hospice of the Valley’s support groups for dementia caregivers are available on Zoom from the comfort of home. All are welcome to join these no-cost sessions: • Tuesdays at 10 a.m., join Dr. Maribeth Gallagher,

Dementia Program director, for a short practice to help relax and refresh, then discuss your heartfelt concerns as a caregiver. • Wednesdays at noon, experienced social worker

Nicole Crothers discusses the challenges and rewards of providing care for a person living with dementia.

Find Zoom links to both groups here: hovdementiacampus.azurewebsites.net/care-at-thecampus/videos-and-support-groups.

For more information, call the Dementia Program at 602-636-6363 or email dementiacare@hov.org. Check out more holiday tips at alz.org/help-support/ resources/holidays.

Community

Hello Neighbor!

HI, MY NAME IS... Nick Smith.

I’VE LIVED IN SCOTTSDALE FOR 28

YEARS AND I LOVE IT BECAUSE… The community cares about coming together to give back in ways both big and small.

A TYPICAL DAY IN MY LIFE INCLUDES...

Watching a lot of football tapes since I’m a football coach at Notre Dame Preparatory. On top of that I work a full-time job and volunteer with the Fiesta Bowl.

MY FAMILY... My oldest daughter is outgoing, energetic and a little eclectic. My middle daughter is my mini-me, so I pray for her a lot. My son, who’s graduating from USC, is very smart so I have to watch myself around him.

ONE THING I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT

IS... Besides my family is my faith and football.

MY FAVORITE MOVIE I COULD NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING AND WHY…

Harrison Ford’s “The Fugitive.” I love how the underdog can overcome adversity.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I WANTED TO

BE… A professional football player. I attended the University of Notre Dame from 1989-1992, where I played linebacker for the Fighting Irish under legendary coach Lou Holtz. After graduating from Notre Dame, I was drafted – but ultimately cut – by the Green Bay Packers and played in the Canadian Football League for a spell in 1993.

THE SONG I WOULD SING AT KARA-

OKE NIGHT IS… Johnny Paycheck’s “Take this Job and Shove It” or “Tennessee Whiskey” by Chris Stapleton.

THE ONE PERSON WHO MOTIVATES

ME IS… Not just one person: it’s a tie between my parents.

THE LAST THING THAT MADE ME

LAUGH OUT LOUD WAS… Cedric the Entertainer.

THE PERFECT DAY WOULD BE… I feel blessed every day because the challenges I face make me better. But I will say, in one weekend I had a high school football game on Friday, went to a college game on Saturday, and then to a professional football game on Sunday, and that was a pretty great time.

MY FAVORITE LOCAL NONPROFIT IS….

Fiesta Bowl Charities. I joined the organization’s highest level of volunteer leadership – its executive board – after serving on the Fiesta Bowl Yellow Jacket Committee since 2012. At the heart of the Fiesta Bowl Organization is a simple mission: to enhance organizations that contribute to the success of their communities through youth sports and education. Through its two annual bowl games in the Valley, the PlayStation® Fiesta Bowl and the Guaranteed Rate Bowl, as well as community events throughout the year such as the Desert Financial Fiesta Bowl Parade, Fiesta Bowl Charities has given tens of millions back to the community.

MY LIFE… is simple. My faith, my job and my family create purpose for me so if I keep my eye on that, my life’s pretty good.

THE BEST GIFT I’VE EVER RECEIVED

WAS… A football scholarship to Notre Dame. That changed my life. The network I have because of that scholarship, the people I know and the impact that community has made on my life is the gift that keeps on giving.

MY DREAM VACATION WOULD BE

TO… Albany in the Bahamas. I’d like to be out there on a boat with the people that I love.

THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE I’VE

EVER RECEIVED... My father would always say that ‘the right thing’ and ‘the hard thing’ lived on the same street, an allegory about making choices in this life. Often, to follow the right path, there are going to be hard decisions, hard trials and hard moments along the way. Doing what is right though is always worth dealing with those hard neighbors on that street.

Community

Make a Difference in the Lives of Foster Children This Holiday Season

By Tamara Webb, Director of Operations, OCJ Kids

As the holiday season approaches, the focus of OCJ Kids remains the same: to impact Arizona’s foster children and create memories to last a lifetime. Since 2006, OCJ Kids has provided opportunities for our community to support Arizona’s foster children who currently live in group homes.

Arizona currently has more than 14,000 children in the foster care system. Many of those children do not live with a traditional foster family but in group homes. OCJ Kids works with the group homes and with the Department of Child Safety offices to bring hope to these children.

As children enter the foster care system, they often come with only the clothes on their back. From the moment children in Arizona enter foster care until the time they leave the system, OCJ Kids is involved. Diapers, wipes, pajamas, hygiene products and clothing are provided as they enter foster care. Transition suitcases filled with supplies and resources are provided to teens as they leave the system at 18. Every year, OCJ Kids hosts a career development fair, cowboy camp, back to school celebration, and Christmas bowling party. During the COVID-19 pandemic, OCJ Kids never stopped working to provide essential supplies to these children.

On December 11 – 12, OCJ Kids will host the annual One Bright Star Christmas Bowling Party. Over the two days, more than 500 foster children and teens will have the opportunity to bowl, visit with Santa, and receive gifts from their wish list. Local residents can be a part of creating memories and bringing hope to Arizona’s foster children. To purchase a gift for a child, visit Amazon’s charity wish lists and look for OCJ Kids One Bright Star. Your purchase can be shipped directly to OCJ Kids.

OCJ Kids is a qualified foster care organization. As an Arizona taxpayer, you may be eligible to receive a dollarfor-dollar credit on your 2021 Arizona state taxes when you donate to OCJ Kids. The Arizona Tax Credit allows taxpayers to decide where their tax dollars are going to be spent by choosing a qualified charity to donate your tax dollars. Individual taxpayers may donate up to $500 and joint filers may donate up to $1,000. To make your Arizona Tax Credit donation, visit ocjkids.org/donate.