Hope IN DEPRESSION

-Irish P. Gambito

For the past two years, the worldwide pandemic has overwhelmed us with uncertainties and fears. People lost their jobs and relationships, some suffered domestic violence, and many lost hope. People were so desperate to put their lives together and got depressed.

At the beginning of the first lockdown, I stopped working because I needed to attend to my son at home and online schooling due to the school closure. However, I had no fear of the unknown. At this moment, God’s power in me gave me peace and calmness despite the uncertainty. I never thought I would come into a state of depression.

Dealing with Depression

During the time of my pregnancy, I was struggling with my marriage. Anger and fear of losing my husband (at the time) were dragging me down. And it got worse after I gave birth to my son. My faith was shaking and after months of affliction, I got ill.

It was a typical day in Spring 2014 to go to work. But I felt nauseous and went home to take rest. But that one day turned into a daily battle. I was diagnosed with depression, and my doctor prescribed anti-depressant. I took the pill for almost three months. The weight of depression and saving my marriage was difficult to process. Day after day, I felt like I was losing hope of building a family.

Dealing with depression while breastfeeding a baby was my most challenging situation. And I thought Christians don’t get depressed. But the struggle and pain were real. I felt hopeless, alone, and a failure. Occasionally, I blamed myself for my situation. And I didn’t like myself.

Similarly, some people in the Bible \suffered various horrendous pains that led them to depression. But God gave them hope.

Elijah was a person who dealt with depression, who cried out to God to take his life, “But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree, and he prayed that he might die; and said, It is enough, Now Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 1 Kings 19:4, NKJV.

Elijah was a mighty prophet who witnessed God’s incredible miracle on Mount Carmel, where he summoned the people from all over Israel together with the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal (God of fertility) and challenged them about his God and Baal. After the prophets of Baal prayed and shouted, nothing happened. Then Elijah made an altar for God and prayed. Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice after Elijah prayed. Elijah then killed all the prophets of Baal.

When this happened, Queen Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah that she would kill him (1 Kings 19:1-2). Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there and went to the wilderness. And he sat under a broom tree and prayed he would die. His faith wavered because of fear. He felt afraid, hopeless, and alone. He wanted to die. Imagine Elijah, a prophet and a person of faith, was seriously depressed. Does the story of Elijah resonate with you? Do you feel hopeless and alone?

Rest in God’s Grace

When Elijah came to a broom tree, sat down, and prayed he might die, he fell asleep. Then, an angel of the Lord touched him and gave him food (1 Kings 19:5-7). Elijah was depressed because of fear (1 Kings 19:3). He looked at himself as a failure (1 Kings 19:4) and exhausted (1 Kings 19:5). So God let him rest. But He did not allow Elijah’s depression to live long. Just like Elijah, I lived a life coping with depression.

Depression brings you to a futile state of life. Eventually, you will always feel alone and insecure. However, God loves you enough not to let you live a hopeless life. He wants us to be joyful despite our life circumstances. Although our emotions are valid, they are not permanent. God will give us the strength to overcome depression if we allow Him. During the time of my depression, I worshipped God and sought Him. God made a way for me to share my honest feelings through writing.

Writing is a way to express my deepest and most honest emotions. I feel relieved. And when I write, I pray. It does not have to be perfect writing because perfection is not an honest emotion. Perhaps you have your own different way of managing your emotions. Maybe you can talk to a trusted family and friend or even someone from your church. During this time, I asked my pastor, along with his wife, for counselling. I felt the need for help. And it is okay to require help. Sometimes we need a fresh perspective from someone who has the heart of Jesus. Depressed people have an unhealthy view of God, self, and everything.

God will make a way to use other people to help you out of depression. He loves you more than you can imagine. With God on your side, there’s nothing to fear. And by His amazing grace, you will find the strength you need to overcome the struggle by placing your trust in Him. Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”