Fuckboy, Danielle Park……………………………………………………………………..…133 Ghost/ghosting/ghosted, Jordan Kiritsis

Ghost/ghosting/ghosted

Jordan Kiritsis

The term Ghosting refers to the practice of completely eliminating all forms of communication with someone with the intention of never having any contact with that person again. The ghoster, also known as the ghost, will typically anticipate that the ghostee will get the message and leave them alone. Ghosting can happen to anyone and can be done by anyone. This act can also be done in any type of relationship and at any stage of the relationship. Friends may ghost eachother, sexual parteners may do it, even couples may do it to eachother. However, the act is most commonly done by people who are in the talking stage prior to entering a relationship, or people who are sexually active without a lable of committment or exclusivity. The reasons for ghosting vary, but may include a lack of attraction, convenience, a change of heart towards the relationship, and safety. However, despite the reason the general understanding of the practice is that the ghoster no longer wishes to maintain a relationship of any kind, but does not have the courage or desire to say that directly. This term is important in understanding young people, as it provides us with insight into the communication style of the younger generation, which is primarily done using technology and social media. In the journal Disappearing in the age of Hypervisibility, Jhanelle Oneika Thomas observes how, “Overall, technology/social media was thought to play an integral role in perpetuating ghosting mostly because of the ease of connecting with others but also because of the element of anonymity and surveillance that it allows.” (Thomas 2021) This practice gives insight into how easy it is for young people to detach themselves from others, by using features like blocking and muting notifications. This illustrates the social values of young people and how easy it is to treat others as though they are disposable. This also gives us insight into the health and well-being of young people. While little research has been done on the effects of ghosting, Gili Freedman’s article Emotional Experiences of Ghosting notes how “ghosters were more likely to express guilt and relief, whereas ghostees were more likely to express sadness and hurt feelings. Ghostees also experienced more of a threat to their fundamental needs – control, selfesteem, belongingness, meaningful existence – than ghosters.” (Freedman, 2021). Ghosting may be especially difficult for adolescents to experience as they are left with no closure, and instead question themselves and their own worth. To live in a society where the person you are interested in and have feelings for could completely disappear off the face of the earth without any warning, illustrates how young people live with no guarantee of consistency within their social relationships. This also gives us insight into why young people may become desensatized in relationships or may have a hard time trusting and opening up to others. The practice of ghosting reveals the younger generations inability to confront the reality of their emotions and take responsibility for their actions. Ghosting allows people to avoid dealing with the pain that they cause others, and the practice promotes selfish and unhealthy attitudes towards relationships.

References

Gili Freedman, Darcey N. Powell, Benjamin Le & Kipling D. Williams (2022) Emotional experiences of ghosting, The Journal of Social Psychology, DOI: 10.1080/00224545.2022.2081528

Ghost. Urban Dictionary. (n.d.). Retrieved November 4, 2022, from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ghost

Thomas, J. O., & Dubar, R. T. (2021). Disappearing in the age of hypervisibility: Definition, context, and perceived psychological consequences of social media ghosting. Psychology of Popular Media, 10(3), 291–302. https://doi.org/10.1037/ppm0000343

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW7rPIf2RBQ&t=24s