True Self, Christina Cupelli

True Self

Christina Cupelli

The true self: Aristotle said, “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” True Self Defined by Nina Strohminger “it’s the essence of what makes you who you are, who you really are deep down and beyond surface capacities”. It is believed that one’s true self is hidden underneath the constraints and labels of our everyday life. For example, how we present our identities can be impacted by our experiences and the expectations of how others may view us. This can lead us to believe we are true to ourselves; however, it is not who we are deep down inside.

It can be challenging and rewarding for young people to discover their true selves as it involves finding out who they are through life experiences and stepping outside their comfort zones. Young people naturally learn different feelings and behaviours that reveal and uncover the layers of there to their true self-journey.

The word “true self” describes our real personal experiences and reflection of ourselves which plays an important part in adolescent lives. From a young age, adolescents are influenced,

shaped, and impacted by many factors in their lives. Family beliefs, peer pressure and the media can determine how adolescents may appear to the world. Therefore, adolescents need to be openminded and expose themselves to different views and possibilities to allow themselves to form their own beliefs that align with their core values. Adolescents need to understand what it means to have their own minds. In doing so, these learnings can sometimes be difficult to absorb. These realizations in how they handle their feelings are how they decide to be themselves in a positive way that exposes their true self. Adolescents should seek to find their true selves by engaging with people and things that give them joy regardless of the judgment they may feel. Maintaining this joy and honouring their true self can be difficult at times because of the constraints they may feel from their parents and school environment.

Adolescents need to identify with their true selves and well-being because it allows them to focus on the things that matter most to them like family, friends, and faith. Adolescents can decide what is meaningful and or not important to them. As a result, this will allow them to let go or walk away from situations and people who do not align with their core values or beliefs. This also gives them the confidence to make decisions that support their true feelings about the situations they find themselves in.

The word true self dates to the 1960s when British psychotherapist Dr. Donald Winnicott developed the concept of a real self and a false self. According to Winnicott’s studies, everyone is affected by these two selves. It is well known that people can create a fake self to shield their deeper, more vulnerable genuine selves. Adolescents also tend to portray their false selves to fit in and hide their true selves around certain people and situations.

Rudnytsky, P. L. (Ed.). (1993). Transitional objects and potential spaces: Literary uses of DW Winnicott. Columbia University Press.

Strohminger, N., Knobe, J., & Newman, G. (2017). The true self: A psychological concept distinct from the self. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 12(4), 551-560.

https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/deepak-chopra-the-difference-between-the-true-self-andeveryday-self

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