Friendship breakup, Lexie Rivard

Friendship Breakup

Lexie Rivard

During adolescence, we are often close with our friends, especially if we are not as close to our parents and families (Dolph, 2017). Friendships are a source of support, and studies show that being with peers after experiencing stress leads to fewer negative emotions compared to being alone or with family (Uink et al., 2017). Most would agree that friends are an important factor in adolescent well-being and mental health, as friends often help us deal with difficult times and are there to listen when we want to talk about relationship or family problems. Friendship dissolution, therefore, deserves its importance when we speak of young people as it is especially painful and lonely during adolescence, and can deeply affect the mental health of the teens involved. Though some may experience happiness and relief (as with romantic breakups) after the dissolution of a friendship, most will feel sadness and loss depending on the reason for the dissolution and who initiated the “breakup” (Flannery & Smith, 2021). For adolescents who may not yet have experience dealing with this kind of loss, it can be hard to navigate the feelings of grief and so as educators it may be a good idea for us to keep an eye out for friendships that may have ended and check up on our students to see if they may need additional support. I was surprised to find that there isn't a word in the English language that describes the ending of a friendship like there is for romantic relationships, for which we have words such as divorce and breakup. I searched far and wide for a single word that could encompass the meaning of the end of a friendship and its emotional consequences, but such a word simply does not exist. I eventually landed on “friendship breakup” for this assignment as I felt it conveyed the emotions associated with the event better, but it seems researchers prefer the term “friendship dissolution” as I encountered more scientific studies that use this wording. Does this lack of language to describe friendship dissolution suggest that the ending of a romantic relationship is more painful and significant than the ending of a friendship? Though this may be our perception, in reality, friendship breakups are similar to romantic ones and can be just as devastating, sometimes even more so if we have a particularly strong friendship bond with someone (Dolph, 2017). The lack of a word to describe friendship breakups may simply reflect the fact that as a society, we place higher importance on our romantic relationships and the impact they can have on our well-being and mental health. For teens going through the loss of a friendship, there may be a feeling of shame or a sense that they shouldn’t be feeling as upset as they are over the end of a friendship, but it is completely normal to feel grief as with a romantic breakup and I think it would be helpful if as a society we could start giving these emotional and devastating event the significance that they deserve.

Bibliography

Dolph, S. (2017, August 3). Why Friend Breakups Suck Just as Much as Romantic Ones.

Teen Vogue. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/friendship-breakups

Flannery, K. M., & Smith, R. L. (2021). Breaking Up (With a Friend) Is Hard to Do: An

Examination of Friendship Dissolution Among Early Adolescents. The Journal of Early

Adolescence, 41(9), 1368–1393. https://doi.org/10.1177/02724316211002266 Uink, B. N., Modecki, K. L., & Barber, B. L. (2017). Disadvantaged youth report less negative emotion to minor stressors when with peers: An experience sampling study.

International Journal of Behavioral Development, 41(1), 41–51. https://doi.org/10.1177/0165025415626516