The Courier
reviewsfilm.39
Monday 14 December 2015
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Victor Frankenstein (12A)
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Macaulay Culkin
H
ighly anticipated on both sides of the Atlantic, Victor Frankenstein promised an original take on Mary Shelley’s iconic novel, incorporating popular stock characters, such as Igor (Daniel Radcliffe), to create a radical new take on a gothic classic. Using a story literally born of an imagination competition between three of the brightest minds of the Romantic era, Paul McGuigan’s Victor Frankenstein is certainly not lacking in creative energy, but its efforts are entirely misplaced. Much like the labours of its eponymous character, the film attempts to create cinematic life from the rotting corpses of several hackneyed, jarring subplots, a palette Tim Burton wouldn’t turn his nose up at, and weak performances from cinematic stalwarts, producing instead an unnatural beast, hulking its way through 110 (long) minutes of screen-time. Though it’s often unwise to set much stock by the marketing footage of a film, Frankenstein’s trailers do seem to offer some explanation for the tonal disconnect. Had you watched the American trailer before departing to your local multiplex in fevered anticipation, you might have been shocked to find a film that is at times quite serious and character driven. Similarly, had you watched the UK trailer, dripping as it was in Guy Ritchiesque grit and sidelong steely glances, you’d have been perturbed upon arrival by the incoherent smorgasbord of shitty action that punctuated an otherwise desperately slowly-paced film. Frankenstein feels like a three-hour film condensed into 110 minutes of ac-
Krampus (15)
I
can safely say that Krampus is two hours of my life that I can unfortunately never get back. Don’t get me wrong, I love my share of horror/comedy/pretty-bad-if-you-stop-andthink-about-it films, but Krampus doesn’t even manage the few redeeming qualities of Shaun of the Dead. What annoys me the most, is that this film could have been alright. The cast did their parts pretty well, especially Max (Emjay Anthony), but when the script is as poor as this, there isn’t much they can do. In Germanic folklore, Krampus is a pretty scary character, the polar opposite of Father Christmas, who, instead of bringing gifts, comes to punish the naughty children. In some versions of the story, he even takes them to Hell which isn’t surprising as it’s believed his origins lie in a pagan supernatural being that’s likened to the Christian devil. He even has cloven hooves and goat horns. So he could have been pretty creepy, but here, he just ended up looking like a cross between the Grinch and Father Christmas – in short, crap and not even mockingly scary. The film is actually fairly funny to start off with – who among us doesn’t understand the stresses that Christmas can bring; drunken aunts, annoying cousins, the list goes on. But then, despite the promise, the film just fell flat on its face and it was 90 minutes of someone trying too hard to be funny. The possessed doll monster was slightly creepy, but the rest of the ‘monsters’ were just plain stupid instead of being a satire on horror films. There were a few highlights in the film, however, Adam Scott in his Christmas jumper and hating life being one, and Conchata Ferrell and her occasionally funny one-liners. There’s also a great flashback scene; probably my favourite bit. For me, this film was a major disappointment, with an even worse storyline/ending than The Cabin in the Woods. More like this: You’re Next (2011) Katie Read
tion, strung together by irrelevant subplots which ultimately fail to constitute one whole narrative. Seemingly, James McAvoy has been paid his fee to laugh. Capitalising on the sensational final moment of Filth, McAvoy aims for manic, but hits a mark nearer ‘I-have-nice-teeth-and-a-charmingsmile-see-I-can-do-love-interest-Richard-Curtis’. Curiously, though McAvoy’s Victor is undoubtedly charismatic throughout, he fails to establish any believable connection with Radcliffe’s Igor. Hints of the fabled bromance flicker in a scene of what can only be described as ‘whiskey-fuelled science ideas orgy with chalk pens’, but Victor’s unexplained possessiveness of his deformed friend and jealousy of (completely token) love-interest Lorelai, coupled with poor writing and a dearth of wit on both ends make for a catastrophic on-screen companionship, which signals a significant pothole in the careers of otherwise outstanding actors. In her ‘Notes on Camp’, Susan Sontag states that
camp art is that which ‘proposes itself seriously, but cannot be taken altogether seriously because it is “too much”’, and this is in essence the fatal flaw of Victor Frankenstein. It’s easy to say this film is bad, and even easier to suggest that it takes itself too seriously. It’s just too much: too saturated, too actiondriven, too riddled with nonsensical subplots, too heavily peppered with clichéd dialogue to function coherently. The gothic genre traditionally does camp well, but in its earnestness, Victor Frankenstein misses the mark of fondly-titled ‘shitmazing’ Van Helsing, and ends up somewhere between Underworld and a dodgy colonoscopy. We left the film feeling empty, nauseated, and like we’d seen the abject, sacrilegious insides of something we thought we knew well. Ultimately, we’re not saying don’t go. We’re just saying: go prepared. More like this: I, Frankenstein (2014) Beth Watt & David Leighton
Christmas with the Coopers (12A)
The Night Before (15)
D
iane Keaton in The Godfather. John Goodman in The Big Lebowski. Amanda Seyfried in, um, A Million Ways to Die in the West. All actors and films better than Christmas with the Coopers. And before you begin accusing me of being a Scrooge, let me tell you why my weapons-grade humbug is absolutely justified. Taking beats from Love Actually, this ensemble Christmas dramedy concerns a bunch of stereotypes all connected to the eponymous dysfunctional family, trying to get together for Christmas Eve. At the centre of it all is a couple who decide to give their relationship one last chance after 40 years together, and everyone else spins off from that. There’s a nihilistic writer and Christian Republican soldier’s fleeting romance (based on the principles that they have absolutely nothing in common, so therefore should despise one another), there’s a young boy’s attempt to French-kiss his way through Christmas, and (perhaps most corrosively) a white shoplifter’s efforts to help a withdrawn black police officer come to terms with his repressed homosexuality. Christmas is the season for harmless comedies and heartwarming tales, yet Christmas with the Coopers proves to be the exact opposite. A boxticking selection of token issues drag this from mediocre flick to truly nasty territory, turning the mawkish sentimentality to narrative disease, infecting every aspect of Christmas spirit and making it rotten. This is pretty much everything I hate about Christmas movies (and I mostly like them); the forced familial reconciliation, laughing at elderly people with health issues, bratty children acting as Cupid over and over and over...again… With this film, you’d feel shortchanged if you saw it on Movies24, it is not only a cynical paycheck of a film, but it’s also a huge, anomalous black-hole, sucking in the careers of its cast in exchange for their soul. Cinematic bleach. More like this: Christmas with the Kranks (2004) Simon Ramshaw
T
is the season to take molly, as three unwise men go on a drug-fuelled quest to find New York’s most illusive holiday shindig, The Nutcracker Ball. It’s your typical Seth Rogen and Co. comedy, but aptly adapted for the festive season. There’s frantic chases in sleighs, puking in a church, and a frankly amazing cover of RUN-DMC’s ‘Christmas in Hollis’. What makes it surpass most stoner comedies though is the film’s ability to mix both laughs and heart that could make it a future Christmas cult classic. It knows when to stop making dick jokes (though this does lead to the film’s funniest cameo) and focus on the importance of keeping adult friendships alive, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt grounding the film as a down-on-his-luck musician who refuses to forget the Ghosts of his Christmas Past. It’s a refreshing change to your usual alternative takes on the most wonderful time of the year, which tend to overuse gross-out humour and stick a middle finger at St. Nick. That’s not to say the film isn’t tongue-in-cheek, as there are plenty of laughs to be had, mostly due to the great casting choices – Anthony Mackie plays a social media savvy football star who’s constantly trying to impress, and Michael Shannon is almost unrecognisable as an angelic drug dealer who offers words of wisdom via bongs and joints. However, it’s Seth Rogen that’s the star on the tree, gleefully amplifying father-to-be Issac’s hallucinogenic ramblings of his unborn child and Jewish heritage. The film does hit a low point at the third act, as it tries to pull a few too many jokes out of its crackers, and sometimes the romantic clichés, although often subverted, dominate the plot. But The Night Before’s consistent self-aware humour and character chemistry make it one of the best holiday comedies of recent years, warming your heart just as much as their pseudo-offensive Yuletide jumpers. Merry Spliff-mas everyone! More like this: This is the End (2013) Zoë Godden
The Good: Home Alone (1990)
We couldn’t really put anything else for good. The mischief, the spirit, the Christmas setting – it’s just brilliant. The massive family gathering and chaos around Christmas is something we can all relate to. Macaulay Culkin’s Kevin, a slightly more sadistic Bart Simpson, gets sent to bed early and wakes up alone – Home Alone! Obviously, he thinks his wish that his family would all disappear has been granted, revelling in his newfound independence. But, of course, he didn’t anticipate having to contend with Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern’s bumbling burglars. They pretty much carry the film, and even though the joke is kind of stretched a bit too far, Home Alone remains a childhood classic.
The Bad: Ri¢hie Ri¢h (1994)
When you were a kid, this film wasn’t that bad; it didn’t have the same re-watchable quality as Home Alone, but it was still reasonably funny. But the morals kind of get confused, and there’s just way too much screentime wasted on showing off Richie’s riches. It’s really predictable and clichéd, and when you’re older you realise that this film was actually just shit. It was the moment Macaulay Culkin stopped being a cute little mischievous kid and started being a little dickhead. It’s just got absolutely none of the timeless charm of Home Alone.
The Ugly: The demise of a promising child star...
Ah, the unfortunate tale of a child star’s demise. Macaulay Culkin hasn’t really done many films since his youth, and let’s be honest, they’re probably all best forgotten. We don’t hear much of him anymore, except his occasional appearance in the tabloids looking less than tip-top, or various other strange things like his pizza-themed comedy band. Hopefully he’s all good and he’s just chosen a different path. Rhian Hunter