The Courier 1222

C OURIER THE

Issue 1222 Monday 13 December 2010 www.thecourieronline.co.uk

THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF NEWCASTLE STUDENTS

EST 1948

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University chiefs force end to campus sit-in protest

•Occupiers warned with court injunction •400 lecturers sign petition backing sit-in

J.BUSH

Simon Murphy News Editor Jonathan Offredo

Student occupiers of the Fine Arts building agreed to leave peacefully after University leaders indicated they would no longer tolerate the protest, as demonstrators barricaded themselves in and security personnel manned exit points last Friday.

The University’s solicitors issued a letter to occupiers stating that unless they left by Friday noon, they would start proceedings against the protestors, including a court injunction to restrain similar behaviour on campus in future.

Late Friday afternoon Jeannette Strachan, the University’s Academic Registrar, met with occupiers and negotiated a deal whereby no disciplinary action would be taken against student protestors so long as they vacated the premises by 2pm on Sunday.

Up until the agreement was brokered, security staff blocked the building’s doors preventing food and water reaching the protestors inside.

In an exclusive interview with The Courier earlier in the day, ViceChancellor Chris Brink indicated the occupiers’ time was up. “I cannot allow an occupation of the University to continue,” he said.

“Sooner or later on, I must recommend they find an exit strategy - a way out of this where they can be satisfied that they’ve made their point. I think they have to rethink their tactics so they can leave with good grace.”

During the morning, a group of lecturers presented a petition signed by 400 members of staff to the ViceChancellor backing the sit-in protestors’ efforts and calling on him to express his support for the occupation.

Shortly after lunchtime, a small group of students charged a fire exit guarded by a female security officer.

After a scuffle involving other security personnel, 11 protestors forced their way into the sit-in, joining the 14 students already inside.

Although around 60 students had been involved with the occupation since it started, numbers dwindled on Friday due to the University’s threats of legal and disciplinary action.

A University spokesman said that the head of security and police had reviewed the CCTV recording and were satisfied that the protesters were restrained with a reasonable Continued on page 6

Standing up for education: police watched on as hundreds of students amassed outside King’s Road Centre on Thursday as protestors inside confronted the Vice-Chancellor

Sabbaticals lobby MPs in London Jonathan Offredo Students and sabbatical officers from Newcastle University joined thousands of students in London on Thursday, as last-ditch attempts to prevent the rise of tuition fees proved fruitless with Parliament passing the bill that would see fees nearly treble.

On Thursday, the coalition government’s bill passed through Parliament 323 to 302, a majority of 21, despite the efforts of Newcastle

University protesting in the streets and NUS members like Newcastle University president Tom Delamere lobbying in the Houses of Parliament.

“I’m massively disappointed and devastated for higher education. It’s a shame it had to go through like this,” he said.

The Activities officer Mike Wilkinson and Athletic officer Charley Wright lobbied 10 MPs Thursday, some with success. Wilkinson lobbied about six MPs, all who ended up voting against the fee rise.

Wright met with his Conservative MP from London, who revealed she was “never going to move from her position.

“She said what they were proposing wasn’t perfect but it was better than what we have at the moment,” Wright explained.

Delamere had similar luck with the Lib Dem MP from Berwick upon

L.MACKENZIE

Cutting to the chase: Delamere with Beith

Tweed, Sir Alan Beith, who is a former Newcastle University professor and was voting for the rise.

“I went in with an open mind thinking I could make a difference,” Delamere said. “The question I pose now is why would young people ever vote again?

“Personal pledges, they just go back, where is the transparency and

the trust we can have in MPs? ”By the afternoon, he and other NUS members were pouring through Parliament, doing their best to lobby, while thousands of students were kettled by police right outside in Parliament Square.

Among those kettled were 10 students from Newcastle, who arrived in London early Thursday morning via an overnight Megabus.

One of the students who travelled from Newcastle, Barney Nash, a student at Newcastle College, was on the front line of several clashes with police and was batoned by them.

“I had my hands up in the air and wasn’t trying to push towards them, but everyone behind me was and some of the cops hit me. Although it wasn’t that hard, it bloody hurt,” he said.

“I think this has shattered the whole idea that British students are Continued on page 5

2

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

News Editors: Simon Murphy and Charlie Oven

Have you got a news story for The Courier? Email us at: courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

University set to be investigated for hoarding DNA samples of 8,000 babies Briony Bragg Investigations are being made into the future plans of DNA samples of up to 8,000 babies currently being held by Newcastle University for epidemiological research purposes.

The North Cumbria Genetics Project (NCGP) collected blood and tissue samples from the umbilical cords of babies born at West Cumberland Hospital in Cumbria, with full consent of their mothers, from 1996 to 2003.

The original aim of the study was to assist the identification of genedisease associations and the impact of environmental factors on those associations, particularly monitoring the impact of nuclear sites, such as Sellafield, in the local area on leukemia.

The mothers were given questionnaires to fill in about their lifestyles, education and health when the samples were taken for a study conducted by BNFL, working with the University and Westlakes Scientific Technology Park.

The samples were transferred to Newcastle University after Westlakes Science Consulting went into administration in July, with full consent from the Human Tissue Authority.

The Medical School is once again embroiled in controversy, this time with DNA samples

However, questions have arisen after campaigners from Cumbrians Opposed to a Radioactive Environment have claimed the authorities have failed to keep the families informed about the use of the DNA. It is thought samples and data from the mothers is also being held at Newcastle University, after being transferred from Westlakes.

CORE’s leader Janine Allis-Smith commented “the whole project has been a catastrophe of promises that have never been kept.”

The whole culture regarding the

retention of such samples is changing and it is key to consider who really bears the full responsibility for such samples taken with consent over seven years ago.

The Times recently reported that hospitals have quietly created data banks of samples from millions of babies, in some cases without full consent of their parents since 1984.

However, the University has made clear that no secrets are being kept and nothing is hidden away.

The samples are stored in a properly managed and regulated biobank.

The children who had their samples taken are now around 14-years-old and likely to be gearing up to take their GCSEs. At the age of 16, these children will have to make the decision whether they will allow their samples to be kept or whether they want them destroyed.

John Burn, Professor of Clinical Genetics at Newcastle University, has been involved in the project since the beginning.

“We are at a crossroads,” he said.

“We’ve been discussing what to do next. We need to decide what we, as a research community, along with Cumbria, do with these samples.”

If the samples were to be destroyed it would seriously devalue what could be a very successful study and would be a “real shame” according to Professor Burn.

As time goes, by the DNA bank is increasing in value as the children progress into adults and insights can be found into links with adult genetic diseases too.

The future is presenting a logistical problem for the professors who really can use these samples for beneficial purposes.

The University has insisted that whatever findings were discovered, would always be published and they would be independent.

Student crushed by snow as adverse conditions continue to cause disruption Susie May Beever For the past fortnight the adverse weather conditions have been the cause of major clogging of roads and Facebook news feeds, with hundreds of students missing lectures and seminars. The North East has been one of the worst affected areas in the country, and the piling up of snow has not only caused havoc to people’s plans and daily routines, but has also caused accidents in and

around the city.

It is hard not to have noticed the overhanging piles of snow on buildings in the city centre, as well as the email sent around regarding the accumulation of snow on buildings around University campus, which have proved a huge hazard to those walking underneath.

The University has recommended avoiding walking under any buildings which have a build up of snow or icicles, an unnamed student found out.

The Newcastle student was visiting his girlfriend when the piled up snow from three stories above collapsed after closing a door. Luckily, no damage was caused but he claimed it had been a huge hazard as it had “knocked him to the floor instantly”, and although there had been no injury he had been “knocked out and woke a few minutes later”. Damage has also been caused to buildings on campus; the weight of snow on top of the Percy building dome has allowed cracks

within its glass structure bringing about closure to the entrance.

Temperatures in the North East are set to plummet to sub-zero this week, so it’s best to wrap up as the first semester draws to a close.

However, the dramatic drops in the temperature and the adverse blizzards that Newcastle has been witness to over the past fortnight have not stopped students from going out and making the best of the evenings.

Union to keep NUS affiliation after vote Joshua Shrimpton Dean Deputy Editor Newcastle students have overwhelmingly voted eight-to-one in favour of the Union continuing its affiliation with the National Union of Students (NUS).

But just two per cent of the University’s twenty thousand-strong stu-

dent population turned out for last week’s online ballot.

The vote, which takes place every three years, revealed that 387 of the 435 Newcastle University respondents elected to maintain the longstanding ties, whilst 48 opposed.

NUS membership provides a number of benefits to Newcastle students, including a £63,000 annual saving on commercial products sup-

plied to the campus, including food and alcohol.

However, opponents pointed out that the Union bar is closed for refurbishment this year, therefore cost advantages will be limited.

Lil Collingham, Education Officer at Newcastle Students’ Union, welcomed the results.

She said: “We need to have a national voice. It’s operationally im-

portant to have meaningful interactions with other unions across the country so we can work together to tackle major issues, such as the tuition fees rise. It also makes financial sense.”

NUS officials had been campaigning in Newcastle, but blamed poor turnout on the recent severe weather conditions, which disrupted campus campaigns nationally.

The Union Society, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

Comment Who wants to live forever? Comment debates the impact of research that reverses the process of aging in mice Page 11

Lifestyle Where will you be celebrating New Year’s Day? Lifestyle reviews the top places to inspire your plans Page 18

Culture Local hero: Music interviews Maximo Park singer, Paul Smith, on his new solo project Page 31

Sport Toon travesty: Sport reports on the unexpected sacking of Newcastle United manager Page 39

The Courier is now out of print for Christmas, the first edition of the New Year will be released on the February 7 2011. All section meetings will be held in the week starting January 31. For any further information about how to get involved with the team contact the Editor on editor.union@ncl.ac.uk in the meantime keep checking out our website www.thecourieronline.co.uk for updates.

Editorial Team: • Editor - Fran Infante • Deputy Editor - Joshua Shrimpton Dean • News Editors - Charlie Oven & Simon Murphy • Comment Editors - Danny Kielty & Laura Heads • Life & Style Editors - Mary Mullarkey and Kat Bishop •Fashion Editor - Lauren Girling • Arts Editor - Stephanie Ferrao • Film Editor - Adam Williams • Music Editors - Polly Randall & Joe Skrebels • TV & Radio Editor - Ellie Wilson and Lynsey Fawcett • Puzzles Editor - Andy Pitkeathley •Listings Editor - Ciara Littler • Sports Editors - Kat Bannon, Jono Taylor & Wills Robinson •Photo Editor - Briony Carlin • Design Editor - Helen Mamalaki • Online Editors - Aimee Philipson, Bethany Sissons, Katie Hicks, Elliot Bentley and Colin Henrys •Proof Editors - Charlotte Loftus, Katy Lawson, Hannah Davey, Verity Cunningham, Freya Marks, Gemma Farina, Jessica Cree, Amy Jordan, Sally Ridgeon, Rebecca Gee,

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Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Union Society at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Union Society or Newcastle University.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

News

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Innovative beer mats that deliver clever chat- up lines unveiled by students George Sandeman For too long, too many members of the male population have made total fools of themselves when it comes to chatting up women at the bar.

We all know the story, it replicates itself up and down the bars and clubs of the land. Intoxicated gentlemen spouting nuggets of gold that include: “Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?”, “Are you a parking ticket?

Because you have fine written all over you” and the more direct “Get in the van.”

We have also seen the various results such displays of eloquence have produced.

They range from ignoring the male, to politely dismissing him and occasionally a drink in the face, should the male have said something particularly offensive.

Very occasionally a laugh is elicited from the approached woman, and to help mumbling men find more success like this, two PhD students here at Newcastle University have stepped forward.

Tom Bartindale and Jack Weeden have invented an interactive bar surface that produces icebreakers and conversation starters to assist men in making that all important good first impression.

The technology tracks the placement of bar mats on the bar surface, with the mats sending messages to other nearby mats in the form of text floating across the interactive bar surface.

The aim here is to initiate a conversation between the individuals using the bar mats which dispose of the necessity to engage a woman with low-brow humour.

As Tom explains: “I think most of us feel quite self-conscious and uncomfortable about starting a conversation with a stranger, so what our mat does is make that first move and also provides a talking point.”

Jack adds: “We want these very public text messages to break the ice and make people laugh.”

The interactive bar surface goes beyond helping men improve their talk with women. The inspiration for such an embarrassment saving device came from a trip to a bar in Germany.

“We were looking around at all

Cheers: Finally help for the tongue-tied is at hand with the invention of an interactive bar surface that supplies witty one-liners to help those trying to strike up conversation with women

these isolated groups and started thinking about how we could get them talking to each other.”

“The interactive beer mats started off as a bit of fun and then we realised their potential for bringing peo-

ple together.”

Many men wait with bated breath until the time they see such a bar sur-

face. Until then, women will have to continue to endure such charming advances.

Virgins: forget crying into your diary, blog instead Joshua Shrimpton Dean Deputy Editor Anyone familiar with Adrian Mole’s angst-ridden ramblings will know that sex and diaries have an intimate history stretching back many hundreds of years.

But it’s not often that a writer of real-life bedroom woe turns his back on the security of a locked away notepad in favour of a risky 21st century alternative: blogging.

One 20-year-old Newcastle student, known only as ‘V’, is so fed up with still being a virgin that he has taken

to the internet to share the perils of peer pressure, excessive masturbation and “stage fright” with anyone who has access to a computer.

“I know people say it’s impossible to spend a year at university nowadays and not get laid, but I didn’t,” begins the unidentified writer of Losing It - A Virgin Verbatim.

Describing himself as “athletic, not bad looking, 6ft 1 with dark hair and blue eyes” and from the Reading area, the second-year went on to tell the story of a recent near-miss that ended in disaster.

He wrote: “She suddenly launched into an unprovoked list of all the

second and third years she knew at the University, pausing to wink like a seedy pirate every time she got to one she had been intimate with.

“I spared a thought for these poor young men and wondered, as our taxi rounded the last corner, if I was on the brink of joining their hallowed ranks.”

V continued with brutal, lurid honesty.

“As she leaned into me I was powerless to resist her downward motion and was pushed backwards onto my bed.

“It was at this point that I thought my spaghetti carbonara might make

an encore appearance as an unidentifiable appendage pressed hard against my stomach.”

Speaking to The Courier from the safety of an anonymous email account, V confessed, on a more serious note, that his lack of sexual experience is something that he normally keeps to himself, at least in public.

“One or two of my close friends know I’m a virgin but most people just assume I’m not,” he admitted.

“I decided to write the blog because being a virgin was weighing quite heavily on my mind and I thought the best way to relieve some of the

pressure would be write about it.

When I started writing I just found myself trying to make it humorous, so the situation didn’t feel too serious.

“I thought if I could lighten the tone of my blog it might make me more relaxed about the real life situation,” he said.

V’s very public quest for sexual liberation may raise a few eyebrows, but, so far, the illusive blogger has not resorted to selling his virginity online. Watch this space.

Losing It - A Virgin Verbatim can be followed at virginverbatim.blogspot. com

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Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

News How did events unfold in Newcastle and London?

Thursday, London and Newcastle, 12pm – Protest marches begin in Newcastle City centre and Parliament. The last of the protestors in London left the kettle close to midnight.

Thursday, London, 9.45am – Sabbatical officers begin a series of meetings with MPs over the tuition fee vote. Union President Tom Delamere met with Liberal Democrat MP, Sir Alan Beith.

Students take to the streets across the nation as Parliament votes to increase fees

While student protestors marched through Newcastle, thousands amassed outside Parliament surrounded by police, Jonathan Offredo reports on life inside the kettle

M

anaging to synchronise several hundred kettled students to exhale into the frosty London night air is no easy task, but even if it’s just ten students exhaling tufts of steam into the air – it looks like the kettle is boiling. One protester tried, and sort of managed, to make that joke work.

Tacky and cheesy probably, but after standing on Westminster Bridge for two hours and not moving one bit, people start getting a little loopy.

Patrick McCluskey, a Newcastle University student, made a pun turned prophecy earlier in the day about the possibility of the kettle boiling over once students reached Parliament. Throughout the day scenes of violence were broadcast all over the UK and the world, with many focusing on Prince Charles and Camilla being ‘attacked’ by protesters.

But after 8pm, the worst crime committed was a pretty out of sync rendition of the Macarena by about a hundred students who lined up parallel with 15 feet separating them and 50 or so police in riot gear.

Protesters shouted “join us” as they did the hokey pokey, sang ‘If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands’, did the Macarena once more and then serenaded police with Christmas carols.

Students kept asking in unison, “why won’t you let us go home and do our homework?” as police and press helicopters circled overhead.

Earlier in the day, first-year student

Zoe MacNamee said she couldn’t believe she was in London protesting on the day of the vote.

“I’ve never thought as little of the police as I do now,” she said, after enduring several clashes. That opinion was just the same, if not more, after she too stood on Westminster Bridge shivering and growing impatient with police.

Cold was an understatement, as

The best of kettling Tweets: BSADoccupation: (Bath Spa Occupation) Protesters have been in the kettle for at least 7hrs!The only time peaceful protesters got violent is when police attacked them! #solidarity darkmadman @UCLOccupation: You put protesters into a kettle and sooner or later things are going to boil over quadrophobiac: Finally home.

Kettle on W. Bridge was terrible situation management,tinder for stampede,could have ended in lives lost #solidarity #demo2010 Guerillaphoto: Seriously dehydrated we need water in this kettle some people have ha no food or dink since 2pm UCLOccupation: Kettle still in place, and people are being searched and photographed before being let out one at a time.

students huddled together trying to keep warm. All of the smokers ran out of cigarettes, which didn’t help matters, but for a day that saw numerous violent clashes with police on the streets of London, the last bit of being kettled on a bridge with Big Ben in the background and the Millennium Eye to the left of everyone was as harmless as one of the Scotch eggs lobbed at police earlier in the day. It certainly capped off the absurdity of the past few hours.

When you think about kettling students, Parliament Square is probably the last place to let students, especially those enraged by the decision to treble tuition fees, to run riot.

They did and the Treasury building bore the brunt of the frustration.

Graffiti saying ‘F**k Da Police’ and ‘This is the Treasury’ were etched on the side of the white, stonewashed building. It was only about a hundred or two hundred that tried to storm the windows and doors, but a good thousand stood on the sidelines watching and waiting to see what would happen next.

Police were tested on Thursday and being charged at by police horses is quite possibly up there with the most heart-racing and fight or flight moments one can have. It was made worse when protesters threw firecrackers and cherry bombs at the mounted police, as they charged; the noise making horses unpredictable.

The BBC reported at least 10 police and 43 protesters injured.

Being kettled can create unity and atmosphere because after all everyone is in it together – even if they don’t want to be.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

News

Thursday, Newcastle, 1.30pm – Members of the sit-in protest storm a meeting between ViceChancellor and staff at King’s Road Centre.

Thursday, London, 5.45pm – MPs vote to increase tuition fees by a margin of 21, as thousands still protest outside.

Friday, Newcastle, 12pm – The University’s deadline for occupiers to leave ths sit-in passes and demonstrators are issued with a letter warning legal action.

5

Friday, Newcastle, 6.30pm– University reaches an agreement with occupiers to leave peacefully on Sunday at 2pm.

PHOTOS: L.MACKENZIE

Continued from front page apathetic towards politics.”

The scenes of the student unrest that kicked off at Millbank over a month ago were echoed on Thursday, as the march beginning near UCL turned ugly after police kettled, charged at protesters with horses and beat students with batons. Around sunset, an hour or so before Parliament’s vote, protestors began to retaliate against police after scenes of violence saw several students carried from front lines with bloodied faces and heads. Police said there were 43 injuries to protesters and 13 to police officers.

Second-year Biomedical student Mae Gomersall said this was her first big protest. Standing on a traffic island while taking a break from the scrum with police, she said that it was a great atmosphere and had been awesome so far, but the violence is questionable.

“I don’t agree with it, but sometimes it might be necessary,” she said.

Patrick McCluskey, a first-year English Literature student at Newcastle, said the protests sort of devolved into a battle with police, saying “it’s not really about education anymore.

“It makes me sad to say it, but it’s broken down,” he said.

Throughout the night, especially after the vote was passed, a fact passed along the green that seemed to surprise no-one, violence between police and protesters escalated. Some tried to storm the Treasury, using everything from cylinder blocks, pipes, fences and ladders to ram down several of the buildings windows. The attempts to break through proved unsuccessful as waves of police dressed in riot gear resisted throughout the evening.

There were also reports of a Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square being set on fire and a car with Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall being attacked.

Andy Carne, a second-year Politics student, stood silent after he got a text saying the vote was passed. He and other students had been on the streets for hours.

“I understand why people are angry. The police have been very violent today and I wish they would just let us out now,” he said. “I’m not surprised the vote went through. It was against us from the start.”

The student movement of the last month has created a schism between students and leadership groups.

The NUS’ method of fighting against the fee rise and cuts was apparent.

It was a fight apparently lost, but to Delamere there’s no denying the effect students had.

“They’ve all added up together and they’ve brought to the public light how the students feel about the cuts,” he said. “I think everything students did had an impact and I think it caused some disruption in Parliament.”

Scenes from the kettle Top: a protestor looks beyond a line of police towards Parliament. Bottom left: students keep warm in front a burning security post. Middle: The crowd in Parliament Square. Right: a protestor confronts a line of police blocking students’ exit

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Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

News

J.BUSH

Top left: sit-in protestors talked on the phone to a crowd of supporters, including scores of lecturers, outside on Friday. Top right: students stormed a female security officer who was guarding an exit later in the day

Continued from front page reasonable amount of force.

Occupiers had been staging the sit-in since November 24, receiving food and monetary donations from lecturers, unions, and members of the general public. The students were demanding that the University release a statement rejecting the government’s changes to higher

education funding.

The Vice-Chancellor refused to publically denounce the government’s actions despite voicing personal concerns about the proposals’ detrimental impact to social mobility.

On Thursday a group of students stormed a meeting between the Vice-Chancellor and staff, as

hundreds of protestors marched through campus and city centre.

Professor Brink was addressing staff in the Lindisfarne room at King’s Road Centre when 27 students burst in banging drums, blowing whistles, and waving placards.

The students, who had broken off from the main protest through

campus, confronted the Vice-Chancellor in an hour long discussion, urging him once more to release a statement condemning the government’s actions.

Professor Brink told students: “I don’t think that manning the barricades is something that will serve the institution well. Maybe it comes down to this: if anybody asks my opinion, I will give you my opinion. Will I go out and lobby and barricade for that opinion? No I will not.

“Fundamentally and above all I am employed to keep the show on the road, to make sure the financial equation is balanced and make sure that the reputation of the University is enhanced.”

Later that afternoon, a small band of protestors blocked traffic at the Tyne Bridge during rush hour before police intervened. Police said they had concerns over safety and the disruption caused to the wider public.

The occupiers’ plight has received widespread coverage in both local and national media, and their blog has had more than 40,000 hits in just over two weeks.

On reaching the agreement with the University to leave the occupation, the sit-in protestors issued a statement saying that they were dis-

appointed their demands were not met but thought their actions had been an “outstanding success”.

The statement said: “We have been pivotal in organising and facilitating marches, protests and direct action across the city.

“We have connected with people, not only students, but lecturers, unions and members of the public.

People are now more aware of the risk of the proposed cuts to higher education and cuts to other public services.

“We have been endeavouring to let normal timetabled lectures continue, however these were relocated despite our wishes. So that education could continue, we arranged alternative lectures by inviting lecturers from Newcastle and Northumbria Universities to give talks and workshops.

“We regret the disruption caused by the University in response to our occupation. This has been a large factor in our decision to end the occupation and allow Fine Art students to finish the year uninterrupted.

“The vote on Thursday and the end of the occupation is not the end of the struggle to defend education.

Our fight will continue. We had no voice and we have found one and we will not be silenced.”

Sit-in protestors occupied civic centre Jonathan Offredo Twenty students from the occupation at the Fine Art building occupied the council chambers in the Newcastle Civic centre for two and half hours last Wednesday as direct action in response to the tuition fee increase and education cuts were ramped up throughout last week.

The occupation began around 3pm in the afternoon after students executed an elaborate plan that was planned well in advance. Students were met with no resistance on the way into the building and security and police spoke to students, but did not try to remove them.

Students said they were there to speak with councillors about the upcoming vote on the since-passed increase on tuition fees. Once inside the chambers, students sat in

a circle near the head podium and began to call councillors.

Some phone calls were brief, with councillors rebuffing the offer to meet students in their own chambers, and others expressed support.

Council leader Mark Faulkner was the first to meet with students and lent his support.

“I like the fact that at least there is some mitigation on tuition fees that thanks to your pressure and pressure from others has brought in the last few days and we’ve seen some changes but it’s still not what I would prefer and I will repeat this to Nick Clegg,” he said.

The occupation was peaceful and ended around 5 pm, after students received more support from several other councillors that visited the chambers.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

7

News

Through the positive power of business: charitable society holds first fundraiser Amy Jordan With presents being exchanged and jolly frivolity, it is hard to find a better time of year to throw a fundraising event for a good cause.

Monday December 13 will see SIFE Society throw its very first fundraising event, a cheese and wine evening at Kaffeccinos on Grainger Street.

The international organisation SIFE (Students In Free Enterprise) is all about making a lasting impact on others’ lives.

With the tag line “A head for business; A heart for the world”, SIFE provides opportunities for students to develop their business skills, whilst also creating opportunities for others, both locally and internationally, through the transfer of knowledge and skills.

The SIFE Society at Newcastle is in its first year and already has several projects up and running. The team is currently working locally with a musical project named Crossings, encouraging asylum seekers and refugees to use music to empower and create business opportunities, and a farming cooperative in Rwanda, where the majority of members suffer from HIV/AIDS. Harriet Southall, society treasurer who is running the fundraiser, told The Courier: “SIFE is different from other charities because we use our knowledge to encourage people in need to help themselves, through the positive power of business.

“The money we raise on the night will go towards materials and training so that we can continue volunteering.”

Kaffeccinos have generously giv-

en the venue to the society for free and the cheese is being supplied by the Northumberland Cheese Company.

The tickets, priced at £8, include entry into the raffle, with prizes being donated by local businesses.

There will be live music and stalls run by local businesses, including Queen Bee Candles and Purple Bell Design.

To buy tickets, contact Harriet Southall at h.s.southall@ncl.ac.uk or for more information about the society, contact President, Anelise Siddle, at anelise. siddle@ncl.ac.uk

Got a story?

Christmas cheer: SIFE Society is throwing a cheese and wine evening for charity

Lib Dem abandon meeting due to protest threat Bethany Sissons The Careers Service provides information and advice on developing your skills, finding a part-time job, work experience, supporting business start-up and (when the time comes) exploring graduate opportunities.

For more details about these and other vacancies, including details of how to apply, visit their website at www.ncl.ac.uk/ careers.

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Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Bartender/Food Runner Employer: Cafe Rouge Closing date: 10/12/2010

Salary: Meets NMW + Tips and company benefits Basic job description: The post will involve running drinks and food from a bar and kitchen. You will also be taking orders, cleaning and re-stocking and generally be involved in the day to day duties of a busy restaurant.

Location: Gateshead, Tyne and Wear Job Title: Christmas Temps Employer: Park Lane Cards Closing date: Ongoing Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: The roles include serving customers, using the cash register, replenishing shelves, tidying up stock and other general retail duties. During term time you will work up to 20 hours per week, however, full time hours will be available over the Christmas vacation period.

Location: North East Job Title: Customer Service Representatives Employer: Tesco Bank Closing date: 10/01/2011 Salary: £15,000-£20,000 pro rata + benefits Basic job description: Our new Contact Centre in Quorum Business Park – close to Four Lane Ends Metro interchange – is now open and staffed with exceptional Customer Service Representatives. A variety of part time evening shifts are available Location: Four Lane Ends Job Title: Postgraduate Markers Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 21/01/2011 Salary: £12.20ph Basic job description: We require a number of postgraduate students to support module leaders in assessing the work of mainly final year undergraduate students who have opted to complete a Career Development Module.

Person Requirements: EU or British national postgraduate students.

Location: Newcastle University Campus Job Title: Product Demonstrators Employer: Tantrum Closing date: 15/12/2011 Salary: On Target Earnings £80100 per day (Commission Based) Basic job description: We are looking for enthusiastic and energetic sales staff to showcase and demonstrate our products such as jewellery, nail painting sets, make-up kits, hair extensions and hair clips.

Person requirements: You need to be confident, bubbly and an excellent communicator in English.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Promotions Work Employer: Anne Savva Promotions Closing date: 01/07/2011 Salary: £8-12 per hour Basic job description: Ann Savva Promotions Ltd is a National Promotional Agency currently recruiting in this area. This is a very flexible position that allows you to accept work when it is convenient for you.

Person requirements: You should be outgoing, presentable and professional, with strong communication skills.

Location: Nationwide Job Title: RockNess Student Ambassador Employer: AEG Live/RockNess Closing date: 15/12/2010 Salary: Commission Based Basic job description: Marketing and promoting the festival in your area, and selling your own RockNess tickets. At the end of the campaign, the most promising, creative and passionate ambassador will be offered a six month internship at AEG Live in London Location: Nationwide

The Lib Dem party’s London MPs were supposed to hold a meeting at a London school last Saturday, but through fear of student activism, the head teacher cancelled the booking.

A replacement venue also pulled out, forcing the Lib Dems to postpone the meeting. The decision for venues to cancel represents the unpopularity of the proposed policy on fees but also reveals that, after the National Demo in November, people are wary of student violence.

Mr Dowd, head teacher of the school, said it was clear from protest websites that there was going to be a demonstration against the Liberal Democrat MPs’ meeting at the school and he thought that it posed too great a risk.

Oxbridge accused of racism More than 20 Oxford colleges made no offers to black students for undergraduate courses in the last year, bringing racial and social exclusion at the UK’s most prestigious universities to light.

11 Oxford colleges and 10 Cambridge colleges made no offers to black students for the academic year beginning autumn 2009.

Merton College has not admitted a single black student in five years and only three black students in the last decade.

The Freedom of Information Act also reveals that Oxford is 89 per cent upper and middle class where the average for British universities is 64.5 per cent.

Student work visa to be scrapped The government plans to scrap visas which allow non-EU students to seek work in the UK after completing their degrees.

The Home Office is looking to decrease the number of migrants dramatically to fulfil their pledge to reduce net migration, and the majority of the

Contact the news team and be the first to break the news: courier.news@ncl.ac.uk UK’s migrants are students. Last year, international students accounted for two thirds of the visas issued under the points-based system.

Immigration Minister Damian Green said: “People imagine students to be those who come here for a few years to study at university and then go home – that is not always the case. Too many students coming to study at below degree level have been coming here to live and work, rather than studying.”

Disappointing improvement from SLC Despite the Student Loans Company saying this year’s service was “much better”, the company has come under fire by a committee of MPs for not improving its service enough.

Thousands of students were left without funds in 2009 and the committee pointed out that although the SLC had improved, it had done so at a “disappointing” rate.

A quarter of applicants this year ended up starting the university term without even receiving initial funds. However, the SLC say that 99 per cent of those who applied with the right documentation by the deadline received their funding on time.

York University paedophile committed previous offences An international student at the University of York, who has pleaded guilty to 17 charges of making child pornography between July 15 2008 and March 19 2010, is said to have committed previous sexual offences before coming to England. In 2002 he was publicly caned at school for spying in the female toilets.

The student’s original offences and disciplining were not reported to the police or to the scholarship awarding body, by which he entered the University of York.

The student will be sentenced during the week commencing on the 17 January 2011. He faces a prison sentence of up to five years.

9

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

Improper products for the young: too much too soon?

Comment Editors: Laura Heads and Danny Kielty - courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

> Page 12

Cable and Co dress up the regressive as progressive J. WHITTAKER

Simon Murphy

When my mum was a teenager she had to secretly read under the bedcovers at night with a torch because she felt uncomfortable doing so in front of her family. The environment she grew up in was not one that placed value on education. School was somewhere you went until you were 15, and then you left.

But through her own perseverance, and the encouragement of teachers, my mum stayed in education, becoming the first in her family to reach university. This was at a time during the late 1970s when only a small percentage of the population went into higher education.

My mum’s degree was free, and her living costs were covered by grants. Fast forward 30 odd years and the current government is proposing to let universities charge tuition fees of £9,000 per year. For pupils like my mum, from families with no experience of higher education, the prospect of amassing a debt worth £28,000 on fees alone is likely to drive them away.

The idea of a degree being ‘free and the point of use’ is a hollow concept, one that is meaningless for pupils from underprivileged backgrounds. I challenge Vince Cable to sit down with my nan and try to convince her that it is sensible for her grandchildren to accumulate tens of thousands of pounds worth of debt in order to obtain a degree

You, The Courier David Lorenzo, 3rd year English Language student reviews the last edition

O

nce again this week, The Courier went for big issues and imposing images to go with them.

The front page image of taped-up students was very powerful, along with the rather saucy naked photo from the Agriculture charity calendar, which had all the lads taking a sneaky peek.

Lifestyle’s Newcastle-UponDine feature is inspired, and long may it continue.

However, there seems to be a slight issue when turning the pages at the amount of pixelated images and banners dotted around the newspaper.

It detracts from the quality of a good story when the image to go with it looks blurred.

All in all though, the Film and Culture sections looked fan-

certificate.

The truth is this: my mum wouldn’t have gone to university unless it was free, and thousands just like her today will not get the chance to go now either.

I interviewed David Willetts when he came to the Students’ Union before the general election. He said that he thought the Browne Review, the independent report examining higher education funding, would totally rethink the way universities were financed. He was partly right, but not in the way many would have hoped. The review suggested trebling tuition fees and letting free

tastic and Comment section’s cartoon was easily the best they’ve had yet.

My favourite story of the week however, has to be Sport’s feature on the Grey street skiers. Hilarious.

market principles run wild.

Through the eyes of a business, the Browne Review’s proposals are perfectly reasonable. If the UK’s academic institutions are to compete on an international stage, then they need to be financed accordingly.

Therein lies the problem. Universities should not be viewed as businesses; rather, they should be valued as educational charities.

Universities should be judged not only by the quality of their research and how much they supply to the learning of students, but by how much they contribute to society around them. This is the real crux of

Campaign cards for Christmas Tom Saunders

be the Meet the second-year student who’ll Pole South youngest ever Brit to reach the 4&5 News, page

C O U RI ER THE

2011 www.thecourieronline.co.uk Issue 1221 Monday 6 December

NEWCASTLE STUDENTS THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF

They said Nick Clegg lied, look who’s

lying now News, page 5

EST 1948

FREE

Inside today >>>

L.MACKENZIE

Jesmond knife attack horror Shocked students tell of 2am confrontation with taxi driver after snowball hits his car, Bethany Sissons reports News, page 6

Cloned meat: a crisis of conscience? ‘‘I can’t be the only one who finds this weird’’, says Emily Sargeant Comment, page 12

Sex in the Snow Five students get to grips with cocktails, crumble and and fancy crockery Food & Drink, page 14

Critical of the critics Matt Burton asks if we really care what the film critics have to say Film, page 26

Holding it all together shut in the foyer of the laid down with their mouths duct-taped

King’s Gate Building while staff looked

on helplessly

Student found with broken back after four-day search

Action speaks louder than words:

a group of students

Third-year Politics student discovered

in Madrid hospital after boozed-up

Intra Mural’s Denis Murphy, profiled by Colin Henry Sport, page 37

night

to friends and family were quick ter nobody had seen or heard from those studying drid hospital on November 22 with him after he attended ‘Independ- praise the actions of a broken coccyx and fractures to two ance’, a large scale night at one of in Madrid with him. a third-year Mairi Clancy, also of his vertebrae. to Madrid’s nightclubs. student from Newcastle studying He had fallen while attempting Duck, originally from Middleswas one of the The remarkable hunt for a Newcastle climb into a second floor window, brough, was discharged from hos- Spanish and Politics, absence, and lost his keys after returning from first to notice Colin’s student who went missing for four posts on in having been pital last week after recovering of began posting frantic wall days in Madrid has finally endedbut from a nightclub. Duck had his initial injuries. The anguish Facebook prodrinking heavily and a close friend his friends and family at his dis- her own and Colin’sSpanish, asking relief for his family and friends, “real once again highlighted the damag- described alcohol abuse as the his appearance was so great that his files in English and of his whereathe for any information demon” in the events that led to ing effects of binge drinking. parents and older sister flew to bouts.

Colin Duck, a third-year Politics subsequent disappearance.

Spanish capital to aid the authorities They included a classic ‘missing A search that involved two univer- and visit him on his release. and Spanish undergraduate, who person’ image with contact informais currently undertaking his year sities, the British embassy, Spanish It fell upon Duck’s close friends the alarm of tion. Clancy then alerted police authorities and an intuitive abroad in at the Universidad Comaf- Facebook campaign all played a part in particular to raise the Continued on page 6 plutense de Madrid, was found af- his disappearance, and authorities, ter a frantic four-day search in a Ma- in the initial hunt for Colin Duck

Nile Amos

We are Scientists Keith Murray braves the snow to chat to Ben Travis about the world tour, his favourite kind of science and his thoughts on the wave of UK student protests Culture, page 29

What do you think of The Courier this week? Send your 180-word review to courier. comment@ncl.ac.uk

the issue.

If everyone could afford to shell out tens of thousands of pounds to go to university, then maybe it would be fair to let free market principles determine the funding of higher education; quite clearly though, not everyone can.

What can be done to help level the playing field for pupils from disadvantaged backgrounds? Schemes like Aimhigher provide pupils with role models, fire their hopes and dreams and allow them to unlock their talent. The government is scrapping this scheme – sending out a clear message to young people:

you’re on your own. Funding for the Access to Learning Fund, which provides grants to students who face financial hardship during their studies, has also been slashed.

What hope is there for children from deprived backgrounds to climb the social ladder? What can be done here at Newcastle to help widen participation in higher education? The Partner’s Programme, which was established in 2000, is a glowing example of what can be achieved. The scheme allows pupils from schools in the local region a chance to set their sights higher by slightly lowering the University’s entry requirements in return for their attendance at a summer school. In effect, the programme offers a leg-up to those pupils who might otherwise not have made it into higher education. Since 2000, 1,500 pupils from as many as 111 schools and colleges in the North East have benefited from the scheme. More needs to be accomplished but the building blocks are in place.

By tripling tuition fees, slashing education budgets, axing the Education Maintenance Allowance, and terminating the Aimhigher programme, it is clear that the coalition government wishes to turn back the clock by creating a higher education system whereby only those who are fortunate enough to have the financial backing can succeed.

In 1987, former Labour leader Neil Kinnock asked a pertinent question: “Why am I the first Kinnock in a thousand generations to be able to get to university?” Those spearheading the tuition fees hike are, it seems, choosing to ignore the obvious answer.

Forget choirs of angels, snow covered Christmas trees and holly berries - what about Margaret Thatcher?

Former Labour MP Llew Smith has collected, over 35 years, 1,100 politically-themed Christmas cards, some dating back 160 years to the 1840s.

They are on display at the People’s History Museum in Manchester, and deal with such varied subjects as the poll tax protests, the suffragette movement and more recent public spending cuts.

Mr. Smith was known as a bit of a rebel in his days as an MP - willing to stand up for what he believes in, to let people know what his sense of right and wrong is - and his collection is about bringing history away from Kings and Queens and back to the normal people that shape it themselves.

I, for one, think they are a fantastic idea. I’m in favour of anything that makes history a richer, more complete and textured, subject - anything that gives a new angle on events that took place long ago should be celebrated.

“These cards tell a story of history that isn’t necessarily mainstream but shows that... people were and are willing to make serious points about how they feel about society” The course of history owes much to the men and women who led nations such as Britain, but it also rests in the cultural progress that made its way through every single person in the country, and the problems they had with their government and society of the time.

This is why the messages on these cards are so vital - they demonstrate how, at Christmas, the most overmarketed, over-advertised, and per-

vasive celebration of the year, there is still an awareness of reality.

We aren’t surrounded by picturesque tableaus at Christmas, and hardly any of us go to church to see nativities, but what we do recognise is that this is the time when a lot of people are at their most vulnerable, when the stresses and strains of everyday life and financial problems are at their worst.

Take one example: the miners’ strike of the 1980s. The Christmas cards from this crisis reflect both how desperate people felt financially at the time - with no pay, the holidays would have been very hard for many - and also the anger at the government.

One in the collection has Santa singing ‘Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way - I’d rather be a picket than a scab on Christmas Day.’ These cards tell a story of history that isn’t necessarily mainstream, but shows that, at the point in the year when everyone receives more post than at other times, people were and are willing to make serious points about how they feel about society.

10

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Comment

Library closures nothing but cultural crudity Steph Ferrao

This November will go down as the month that students found their political voice, with mass protests and occupations across the country against cuts to future education prospects.

But if students are concerned about the impact of cuts to education, why are we not also protesting against the closing of public libraries? With the silence on this subject comes the suggestion that perhaps the proportion of students who use public libraries is shrinking.

For some, there’s an inherent guilt in enjoying a paperback at the expense of coursework, but many others just don’t consider reading a form of entertainment – you’re more likely to find CDs and DVDs on their bookshelves than books.

Many of the owners of these will have been protesting for the right to affordable learning, but arguably the most important form of free, state-provided institution is the public library. A single trip to Newcastle City Library tells me that its regular visitors are of the same demographic as those who go to see an Alan Bennett play: middle aged.

“Under the coalition government these cuts to free learning facilities threaten to turn back the clocks to the Thatcher years” We are a generation of digital natives and unlike generations before us, our reading consists of news feeds, blogs and posts, and our oracle is a search engine rather than an encyclopaedia.

In this way, the demise of literature as we know it has been catalysed by

technology - the unfortunate birth of the e-Book reader threatens to make the reading of a paperback as obsolete as watching a VHS. In this way, it’s not difficult to see why students no longer feel the need to borrow and read books when information is so readily accessed at the click of a mouse. 40 per cent of the UK population regularly use libraries, so the loss of 1000 nationwide is devastating.

Acclaimed author Will Self believes that “libraries are a cultural resource of universal benefit that shouldn’t be subjected to the crude calculus of cost-benefit analysis.

What they should do is provide access to as many books as possible for as many people as possible.”

Under the coalition government, these cuts to free learning facilities threaten to turn back the clocks to the Thatcher years, only this time it’s the educational rights of the public that will be privatised.

As students campaigning against the restriction to education, publiclending libraries and the immeas-

urable value of reading should be included in our thoughts as we look beyond the parameters of our degrees to the resources provided by the state.

If it were not for these cuts, perhaps the newly disillusioned generation of would-be students, could have drawn reassurance from the film Good Will Hunting in which the highly intelligent Will gains a university-standard education that costs him “a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library”. So perhaps if we are to support the cause of free education, we should champion the preservation of libraries alongside our University, and we can hope that future generations will go on to take a leaf out of our book.

Courier Online

Make your comments on any issues raised this week online at www.thecourieronline.co.uk

What next for Sudan as partition looms?

Lindsay Mackenzie

Southern leaders, northern government, and the international community must take responsibility to prevent conflict after January’s succession referendum.

A mere nine days after the start of the new year, the world is set to see the emergence of its newest country: South Sudan. Or at least, that was the plan.

A referendum on the possible succession of South Sudan is a key piece of the Comprehensive Peace Agreement (CPA) that in 2005 brought an end to the north-south civil war.

Separate from the more recent conflict in Darfur, the civil war was Africa’s longest and one of its most deadly, claiming an estimated two million lives.

The date of the succession referendum - January 9 2011 - has been known for six years, yet preparations are hopelessly behind schedule. Registration of South Sudan’s roughly eight million citizens only began in mid-November. Ballot printing has not begun. Critically, border demarcation in the oil-rich centre of Sudan has yet to be determined, despite now having less than a month before the vote.

Threats abound. Southern leaders have repeatedly stated that they will not tolerate delaying the referendum, while members of the governing party in Khartoum have publically questioned the validity of the results because of registration “irregularities.” Both sides have publically agreed to maintain peace, while quietly building up arms and military forces along the yet-to-be-determined border, just in case. North-south peace is clearly in jeopardy.

The important question about the referendum is not if the south will vote to succeed; it is well known that Southerners are expected to vote

The best of the online comments: A Scientist – ‘Primate court battle rocks med school’, News, 29/11/10 “I wonder what the students cited above were actually told. Asking people about their opinion regarding cruelty to primates will evoke different responses compared to if you tell them research is being conducted to help people with spinal cord injury, Parkinson’s, or other diseases for which there is no cure and without animal testing ever will be. Also, it is worth putting all these numbers into perspective. It is much more worthwile drawing people’s attention to the huge number of animals killed for what we call ‘green fuels’ (derived from soy and corn in the Amazonian rainforest – before you can plant these, you have to clear the forest and therefore habitats), or animal use as pets, or meat. These uses serve very egoistic purposes whereas the relatively low number of animals used in research has potential benefits for hundreds of thousends of people. These benefits are more important than being able to enjoy a juicy steak or enable someone to drive to work: it means people do not have to die, or can lead a more independent life.”

Matthew Pearson- ‘BA in burgers next on the menu for McDonalds’, Comment, 6/12/10

What could the potential partition of Sudan mean for the future generations of a country already torn by war, famine and poverty?

overwhelmingly in favour of independence. The question is whether or not the north will recognize the result and allow the south – along with its vast oil resources – to leave peacefully.

The majority of Sudan’s oil is located in the south. Oil extraction now accounts for approximately 95% of the country’s total revenue. Oil revenue has caused conflict since extraction began in earnest in 1999.

The south blames the north for taking its oil and keeping most of the money in Khartoum – a place that, seeing as there are still no roads connecting the north with the south, most southerners will never have the means to even visit. Khartoum spends 74 per cent of its oil money on the army, weapons and “internal security,” leaving a quarter left to develop Africa’s largest country.

Yet for all its eagerness to blame the north for its problems, the Government of South Sudan (GOSS), has also failed its people.

The arms pile-up at the border is virtually the only thing the GOSS has to show for six years of semi-

autonomous governance and more than $6 billion of oil and aid money.

The GOSS has admitted to spending about 70 per cent of this income on the arms and military pay and pensions, despite being one of the least developed places on earth. According to Historian Richard Cockett, some health indicators are actually worsening in the South - previously controlled diseases such polio, leprosy and measles are reemerging.

Malnutrition levels teeter near 50 per cent. Education is totally inadequate – 90 per cent of South Sudan’s girls are illiterate. Infrastructure is limited to government buildings in the southern capital of Juba. 30 miles of paved road exist in all of South Sudan.

The current leadership risks replicating the very things it despises about the north – a focus on development in the capital to the detriment of the periphery. It claims that its excessive military spending is necessary to achieve independence should the north renege on recognizing referendum results. Yet ironically, in attempting to protect itself

from the north, it has become more vulnerable to violence from within the south itself. In 2009 there were more deaths due to conflict in South Sudan than in Darfur; 2500 people were killed as a result of inter-ethnic and resource-related violence.

The international community has also failed to live up to its commitments. Consumed by the crisis in Darfur, those parties that helped to broker the CPA – notably the United States – have neglected to enforce it, including pushing for adequate preparation for a trouble-free referendum. Western governments have to find new ways of pressuring the north to recognize the results of the referendum, and the south to start acting like the independent state it wants to be by providing for all of its people, not just those in Juba.

The referendum is a crucial last chance for all parties involved to belatedly take responsibility and for once to put the well-being of the people of Sudan ahead of political and financial agendas. If not, we risk beginning the new year with the ugly return of an old war.

“This article seems to stink of pre-established bias and snobbery in the author’s own job tastes rather than one based on sound thought and evidence. McDonalds are creating a system, which would mean that people from less privileged backgrounds are not necessarily deterred from entering higher education by the thought of a £30 000 debt. I do not see why we should not let a company mix together two things which, in the end, most employers are looking for; commercialism and education. Moreover, higher eduction does not automatically give you the ability to transcend directly into a business. It merely points you towards the right path, teaching you the theory and leaving the rest to your own determination and personal potential. At least Mcdonalds and other businesses that have their own tailored degrees are offering real business experience intertwined with educational development. It is indeed a two-sided agreement with both parties benefiting. Employees of companies are not hypnotised into thinking that their company’s brand is the best. It is a core belief in and knowledge of the product that will mean people will want to stay within the company.”

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

11

Would you want to live forever if you could? Mind your Yes Emily Sargent

I will ignore the arguments as to why you might not want to live forever (loneliness... boredom... a disintegration of the meaning of life...) in favour of the far more important ones in support of an extended life expectancy; flying, time-travel, and Katie Price’s face/boobs circa 3016: Freak. Show.

An initially scary thought maybe, but then if you could take everyone along with you - why not? You can live to see your grandchildren grow up, fulfill more ambitions and satisfy burning curiosities, e.g. whether or not the events of I, Robot are actually going to happen. (Pretty confident they will, by the way).

I am being extra nice to my toaster and other appliances just in case, and keep up an extensive daily correspondence with Will Smith. He seems to be useful in these scenarios.

No direct response yet, but I’m sure like me, he’s just too busy preparing for the perils of the future by hand-welding iron shutters, getting incredibly buff and training his alsatian. (I will be documenting my own efforts in these departments and reducing them to a montage for the eventual film).

And seriously, who wouldn’t want a flying car? Every day would be like a morning at The Jetson’s.

Also - going on holiday? Get yourself down to Uranus - that’s where

the 18-30s will be hanging out - and where they will film Coach Trip.

Something more sophisticated your style? Well then hit Saturn, one of our Gas Giants - where Sandals have relocated. With extreme interior pressures and average temperatures of minus 174 degrees Celsius coupled with the thick smog of a pungent gaseous body, it’s the perfect getaway for you and your spouse.

Forget fireworks - in the evening you can put on one of our complimentary bike helmets and head on down into the extremely high winds to observe an atmospheric rocky debris and dust shower.

Plus how useful will Pluto be when we can visit regularly? It will be the perfect place to put annoying people when they need time to think about what they’ve done.

Robert Pattinson, for example, might rethink his acting career if it meant escaping Kerry Katona and Jason Donovan serenading one of Iceland’s prawn rings. 50 Cent, who tweeted after falling off a “peddle bike”: “it feel like i got a headache in my leg” (seriously), could be left in a container with Pavarotti GoCompare until he agreed never to use lollipop euphemisms again.

Madonna would be there, obviously, doing the splits in a crotchless purple thong whilst licking her toes provocatively. And why not?

You’re only 79.

Some people who can’t afford to get their whole bodies cryogenically frozen think they can just get a portion done. A finger, or a head, say.

This would not satisfy me. Not at all. How would I manoeuvre a flying car if I had only been able to afford to save one eyebrow? The perks of the future would need to include friends (i.e. Will Smith), family, and a fully functioning body.

No Amy Jordan

“Do you really want to live forever?” My answer is a resounding no.

I definitely do not want to be forever young.

With Harvard announcing that they have been able to reverse the ageing process in mice, the botoxloving, plastic surgery fans can cheer and celebrate at the prospect of not just an eternally young face, but an eternal life. I cannot help but wince at the prospect of this. The thought of living anywhere past 100 sends shivers down my spine, but living forever? Well, that’s unbearable!

First and foremost, what on earth would you do with yourself? There are only so many films you can watch, rounds of golf you can play, or people you can visit before becoming utterly fed up. We all like to think that retirement will be a blissful time, catching up on the great books that Richard and Judy have recommended and taking up all the hobbies that should really have only been pipedreams, but my fear is the harsh reality of retirement will be boredom.

Secondly, I want to grow old. As much as I enjoyed nursery, I looked forward to going to ‘big school’.

As much as I enjoyed ‘big school’, I wanted to go to sixth form. Now at university, I want to go into the next, new and exciting phase of my life: unemployment.

As The Courteeners say “You’re not 19 forever, pull yourselves together”. We cannot expect any part of our lives to last forever; humans just aren’t designed that way. Growing old is part of human existence, in fact any life form’s existence, and we just have to accept it.

On a practical and more serious note, with an ageing population and difficulties funding pensions, housing and healthcare for the elderly, do we really want to deprive those most in need of these resources by making our lives even longer? On top of this, we will be playing with nature and who knows the detrimental health consequences this could have.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, what will happen to the phrase ‘you only live once’? Whilst still technically true, by making ourselves live forever, we will be in turn killing spontaneity.

There will be no pressure to do anything because it is the last time you visit a place, or the first time you meet someone. Everything has the possibility of falling into a banal heap of homogenised experience.

Although we may not be dead, romance (in the traditional sense) most certainly will be: no knights in shining armour, no spontaneous gestures and no outrageous dates just because, well, you do only live once.

A world in which I could outlive a tortoise, my grandchildren would look the same age as me and Channel 4 being forced to start reruns of How I Met Your Mother may be some people’s ultimate dream, but it sounds like my idea of a nightmare.

Live forever? I’d rather be dead.

Life on Mars closer after unprecedented finding Elliot Bentley

You may need to sit down for this one. Scientists at NASA have discovered bacteria able to use arsenic in place of phosphorous in cellular structures, including DNA! Exciting, right?

Hmm. Perhaps not. Unfortunately for a discovery of this magnitude, the underlying science is fairly complex – perhaps not for anyone who took Biology beyond GCSE, but for anyone else it’s just a bunch of words that mean very little.

Rumours circulating before the paper was published in Science suggested that NASA was about to unveil some form of “alien life”. Unfortunately for conspiracy theorists, this discovery is not proof of little green men in Area 51 or existence of UFOs. What it does mean, however, is that the likelihood of finding life on other planets has rocketed up, as well as being an eye-opening example of just how weird life can be.

DNA is, of course, the instruction manual within every organism – one of the few constants within life as we know it. It is made up of six basic elements: oxygen, hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, sulphur and phosphorus (which make up 99 per cent of the human body overall). From

The discovery that arsenic can exist in cellular structures like DNA suggests that life on many ‘inhospitable’ planets may be possible

bacteria to sea-horses to humans, this is the structure of DNA in all organisms on the planet. Well, we thought it was – until NASA’s recent discovery.

Bacteria were found deep beneath a lake in California that, when put under pressure, use arsenic – a notoriously poisonous element – in place of the phosphorous. So, for novelty appeal alone, this is gobsmacking.

How does this affect the likeliness of finding life on other planets, then?

Well, the discovery of bacteria able to grow without phosphorous (an element previously thought to be

entirely crucial to life) means entire planets, thought previously to be far too toxic for life to grow on, now look well-nigh fertile and green.

It’s also evidence that life may exist in alternative forms than to life on Earth – organisms with their own types of DNA and their own unique chemical structures (a bit like the aliens in that film Evolution).

Arsenic is chemically similar to phosphorous, so it makes sense that it is able to take phosphorous’ place.

In fact, the very reason arsenic is so toxic is that it takes the place of phosphorous in key molecules in

the body, preventing important chemical processes to be carried out.

By mechanisms currently unknown, these bacteria are not only able to survive with very high levels of arsenic present, but thrive on it.

Many have already come out criticising NASA’s work as being inaccurate, and the paper is now to be thoroughly dissected by the scientific community to confirm the discoveries. That said, if their research is proven to be reliable – and in science, reliability is everything – it could shake up how we think about life itself.

manners Katy Covell Columnist

I’m fed up of the library - its general aroma; the unnecessarily loud tannoy announcements; useless hand-towel dispensers; and incomprehensibly and unexplainably hot stairwells.

Admittedly much of this angst will be the result of my having spent far too much time cocooned in one of the individual ‘cubby’ desks; sporting countless jumpers in an effort to keep frostbite at bay, and crying into my thermos flask as I read the same line of some absurdly highfalutingly written JSTOR essay, over and over again.

Yet I have found myself comforted by the fact that - as Zach Efron and team so beautifully put it - “We’re all in this together”.

Yes, we may be pallid, spotty, sleep-deprived and grouchy, but at least we’re all in the same boat; supporting each other in our mutual presence and consideration for each others equally unenjoyable situation. Or so I thought.

For there are those (ironically, the ones who are rarely to be seen amongst the Robinson bookshelves and should therefore be the most snowed under with work) that seem to visit the library purely to advertise how relaxed and assignmentfree they are.

I mean what reason could there be for repeatedly clacking back and forward around the entire cluster of desks - peppered with over-worked students - in a pair of flip flops, other than to draw attention to themselves with their ‘I’m so chilled, it might as well be summer’ attire?

Add this to the fact that it’s currently fluctuating between zero and minus seven degrees centigrade outside, and the sense of outrage at the blatant bragging of such smug folk triples.

Perhaps I am being a little too hasty in assuming that these tootsieliberated folk are without academic work; for it could just be that the flip-flops only make an appearance as their snow boots and woolly socks dry over the radiator out of sight.

But even if that is the case, the fact is that the ‘clack’ which sounds upon every step that the flip-flop wearer takes, is mightily distracting for those bent over their books.

So you’ve got cold and wet feet?

Bring your slippers or a spare pair of socks, a lavender scented heat pack that’s been nuked in the microwave. Hell, bring a duvet if you want! Use whatever lights your fire (oh the wit), I honestly don’t care as long as it doesn’t brake other peoples’ concentration.

But there’s another problem. If all of those dastardly, glorified-sandal wearers were to switch to a more silent-environment-friendly footwear, the tranquillity would still be disrupted; just by another noise.

Of course you could argue that this is inevitable - that the loss of one noise will only serve to highlight another still present.

So, to be blunt: girls you do not need to wear your noisy bling, charm bracelets and anklets in the library. If I want Tinkerbell, I’ll get the Hook DVD, thanks.

12

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Comment

Playboy products no proper education for children Susie Beever

Few would argue against the fact that sex is everywhere these days.

It’s hard to walk down the street without seeing some sort of advert that doesn’t involve David Beckham, Paris Hilton or some alternative blonde bombshell with the IQ of 19, laid out in a sultry pose to promote the latest underwear or perfume that we all so desperately need.

Even the tamest of family films these days are incomplete without the occasional sexual innuendo or otherwise - I remember all too clearly the awkward “I’m just going to get a cup of tea” moment when watching Keira Knightley and Dominic Cooper getting cosy in The Duchess, a 12A, with my mother.

And don’t even get me started on the dog-on-heat of an icon that is Lady Gaga. It’s an evident yet sad fact of our times: sex sells.

No matter how badly your perfume label is selling in times when everybody seems to be tightening the purse strings, stick a girl in her underwear on the label and it’s almost guaranteed that sooner or later the stuff will be selling like hotcakes.

However, the increasing need to do so now seems to stretch to children’s brands; it seems perfectly acceptable for Charlize Theron to get excited and take off her clothes for Dior perfume, but to sell Playboy pencil cases to 12-year-old girls in trainer bras? Really?

“Even the tamest of family films these days are imcomplete without the occasional sexual innuendo” Children’s Minister Sarah Teather said this week that parents are ever facing a “Tidal wave of pressure from sexualised marketing to children”, and an inquiry is to follow investigating whether there should be rules over what should and shouldn’t be aimed at children, with young girls the most likely to be targeted.

This stretches to “Porn Star” Tshirts and padded trainer bras.

Clearly the latter is hardly a mark of ‘sexualisation’ of children’s brands; every girl will remember the special occasion that was her first bra from Tammy girl, and the frustration that went with its size, ‘28AA’.

Few girls of course will admit to stuffing them with cotton pads, but it’s something all 12-year-olds do - a rite of passage, if you like. However, I seem to remember that as a young girl, proudly sporting a T-shirt saying ‘I Love Chocolate’, not, on the

contrary ‘I am a Porn Star’.

My mother would have killed me if I came home from WHSmiths at 13 with a Playboy pencil case.

As it seems though, times have clearly changed. At an age where S Club were singing about ‘reaching for the stars to make your dreams come true’, popular artists like Lady Gaga now need to sing about ‘let’s have some fun and take a ride on your disco stick’ to make their mega bucks. And surely everyone remembers the uproar over that Shakira video. It’s a shame, but a harsh reality.

But what does this recent sexualisation of branding mean? Many would argue that it is a sad reflection of the change in today’s society, and some would even label such a trend as ‘vile’ and ‘unacceptable’, that is, if the Daily Mail is your cup of tea.

Evidently, sex has always been something of a controversial, nevertheless, existing issue within children’s culture. However, it becomes one that is less and less inescapable as society craves more and more the ‘shock factor’ in order to remain entertained.

What raised eyebrows in our parents’ days would pass with a mere smirk in today’s less prudish and more Americanised culture. But with the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in Europe, it is an issue that cannot be ignored.

It is right for children to be properly educated about sex at a reason-

ably early age; after all, the less it is discussed the more children will be curious. 11-year-olds should not be learning about the ‘birds and the bees’ by listening to the Sunday night chart show; it’s just not right.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate extreme political correctness and the idea of ‘cotton wool kids’ whose parents complain about Katy Perry bearing too much cleavage in a cameo in Sesame Street.

I hate the word ‘inappropriate’ and any other euphemisms for ‘sleazy’. And furthermore I hate how easily the word ‘paedophile’ is

thoughtlessly thrown about in this day and age.

However, it is hard to ignore the influence of music videos and teenage magazine features which are ‘wallpapered’ about the media brandishing overly sexualised images which are accessible to children barely in their teens; surely the notion of ‘lap-dancing kits’, which are set to hit the Christmas lists of schoolgirls this year, is enough to raise concern that we are becoming far less prudish these days in our attempts at marketing to our younger generation.

Is Playboy branding on many everyday items available for children just a step too far?

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

13

Festive fun: from Christmas markets to NYE destinations > page 14-18

Sex & Relationships blind date

Dangerous Liaisons

Matt Green & Jess Ambler

#9 Gift Giving

He said: I went into the date with something to prove to myself...that I had it in me to behave like a true gent...something which you wouldn’t really associate with me! This wasn’t the first blind date that I’ve been roped into so I can’t really say I was particularly nervous. Just a last minute worry that the weather would affect the plans for the night and that height might prove to be an issue. To my relief, neither caused a problem.

Having texted Jess the day before I’d had a bit of time to organise the date. As we made our way down to the ice rink at the Centre for Life, we soon found out we had quite a few things in common. Conversation flowed freely as it did all evening.

Our ice-skating skills, on the other hand, were hardly top-drawer!

Staying upright was seen as an achievement with both us displaying our limited ability on the ice to each other’s amusement. All in all though it was a good laugh.

As the ice-skating was brought to an end ahead of schedule due to the weather, we wandered over to Gusto for a bite to eat. As we trudged from the snow into the restaurant, we could tell we were a bit out of place as both of us were sporting wellies. But we didn’t let this faze us in the slightest. The conversation at this point took a turn towards each other’s drunken shenanigans which proved interesting to say the least.

After a pleasant meal, we headed across to Pitcher and Piano for a cheeky cocktail or two, or in my case a cocktail, Jägerbomb and a bottle of Hoegaarden. Not the best combi-

Pamela Mardle Columnist

nation! The atmosphere was pretty low-key in Pitcher but this gave us more time to get to know each other and do a bit of people watching. The last stop of the evening was Revolution, where the banter and boozing continued.

I don’t know whether I was able to pull off the role of a true gent but one thing’s for sure: the blind date was an experience to say the least.

Jess is a lovely lass who was up for a laugh and was dead easy to get on with. I hope I made a lasting impression and that she enjoyed the evening as much as I did.

She said: Being a fairly shy and quiet person I never thought I’d see the day I’d be going on a blind date. However, with Courier contacts it looked like my fate was inevitable and I found myself agreeing to a Thursday night

of ice skating and drinks.

Meeting Matt for the first time really took me by surprise and he didn’t quite fit with what I had been told to expect. His scarf wasn’t even purple! He kindly greeted me with a hot chocolate and we headed towards the ice rink. I didn’t question our route until I realised he’d started leading me down some ominous, dark alleyways. Fortunately there was no ulterior motive and Matt had actually just gone the wrong way but played it off by claiming a ‘magical, mystery tour.’

The skating was fun but with us both being only one step up from Bambi we were more inclined to stick to the corners and talk. I found out Matt was a medic, played football and was L.A.D positive (his words not mine). The self-proclaimed LAD status lead us through into dinner and he was happy to share a drunken story, or 12. Gusto at the Quay-

side was his chosen venue for our meal and was a real treat for a Bistro girl like myself.

After our meal the night turned to cocktails and we popped over to Pitcher and Piano to get our fix.

Conversation still flowed well and there was many a laugh including the special moment Matt gave me his own rendition of a Backstreet Boys’ classic complete with dance moves. Revolution was our last stop for a couple more drinks before I persuaded Matt for a taxi rather than the suggested ‘banterful’ walk home in the snow.

Matt was a complete gent and cannot be faulted on his effort. It was a different way to spend my night and I won’t hesitate in saying it was the best/only blind date I’ll ever go on.

He was a nice guy but there was no romantic connection; I was happy to go home to my duvet rather than his suggested spooning sesh.

madame vs monsieur

K.VONG

Our agony duo Madame & Monsieur talk marriage, money and making a mistake My boyfriend and I have recently become engaged. Yes, I know we’re young but it has just always seemed so perfect. However, when applying for a graduate job with Argos I came to discover that my 18ct White Gold Princess cut diamond solitaire ring also goes by the product code 204/6244. I love my fiancé, but I don’t want to spend my life knowing my husband bought my engagement ring by getting a numbered ticket and waiting on a plastic chair, whilst watching someone collect a lawnmower and a six-man tent.

What do I do?

ever, if he takes you back to Argos you need to give it up. Find yourself one of those gilet-clad rah boys with the blonde hair and you won’t have this problem.

Monsieur

Madame

Return it, then pretend you dropped it in the snow. Or down a drain if this silly Anglish weather finally changes. When he complains hint that if he’d bought you the right size in the first place it wouldn’t have happened. Men are incompetent when it comes to receipts, you’ll easily be able to find it in his sock

drawer or underneath a mug of tea. Luckily, in this situation you’re hardly likely to bump into anyone when demanding a refund either - unless you keep the company of middle aged couples with young children that is. Or inbreds. Put the money towards the wedding fund if you’re too racked with guilt to keep it and buy him The Inbetweeners as an extra Christmas present. How-

Merde! This is an embarrassing situation for both of you! You’ve chosen a man who has all the class and style necessary to buy jewellery from Argos, and he has bought an engagement ring from possibly the least desirable shop in known existence!

Part of me wants to say that love is immaterial and it really doesn’t matter what is on your finger, but what a load of rubbish that would be!

This ring is supposed to be shown off; and no matter how expensive or beautiful it looks, its origins will tarnish it forever. But I see no other way of dealing with this apart from just accepting your ring for what it is, and even writing that sentence makes me grimace. Joyeux Noël!

‘Tis the season to be jolly: whoever coined this phrase forgot about the hell of present buying.

Parents, siblings, friends: all quite enjoyable, as long as you have money and know you won’t be outdone by their over-generosity.

But buying for a boyfriend? The thought of it brings me out in hives. At what point is it necessary to buy presents for each other, and does the price/ amount increase with relationship status?

If presents are exchanged so early on in the relationship, it’s advisory to stick to token presents.

Two tickets to see Lady Gaga next summer may be slightly presumptuous and frankly terrifying for the poor lad. Next time, a crate of Bulmer’s and comedy Mistletoe for his Christmas party will probably suffice. On the other hand, if you’re one half of a more serious couple, a sock for his iPhone and a bar of Toblerone will probably knock his ego and make him question whether he has been reading the signals wrong for the past 18 months. You might as well have given him a card featuring a blue teddy emblazoned with the words “to a special friend”.

It’s best to pick up on the small things mentioned without him realising that there is potential for them becoming part of the tree’s foot warmers come Christmas morning. (This is a particularly female trait; to get the message across to guys, it is inherent that us girls keep a magazine open on the Chanel No. 5 advert or you risk receiving bubble bath and yet another cuddly toy.)

Being so organised however could backfire due to the fact that it has been six months since said gift was mentioned and it is either no longer wanted, on sale or cool.

This especially applies to computer games – he doesn’t want Call of Duty four once the fifth, sixth, twentieth versions have come out.

It always has to be even too; the image of the morning arriving and your pile looking like David to his Goliath is cringe-making and ultimately exposes you as a cheap skate. And then there are the weird present patterns some people have: one main present, then five smaller packages; a stocking and a splash-out; or even 30 tokens. One ex arrived bearing a puppy-dog-sized basket with all shapes an sizes of gifts, from DVDs to perfume.

Extremely thoughtful, but my woolly hat and scarf didn’t quite measure up.

14

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Lifestyle

food & drink

Newcastle-Upon-Dine: bring on the competition

Lifestyle challenges Ben Parkin, Alice Clochet, James Hackett and Jo Johnston-Smith to create a festive feast...

The dishes James:

Course 1 - Pancakes For my course I decided to go for something that is a bit different for a starter, but something that everybody loves. At least everybody I know loves pancakes! I made them with sugar and lemon juice to give them that extra flavour.

Ben:

Course 2 - Shepherds’ Pie I wanted to make something that would really warm people up when they came into the kitchen out of the cold. I thought a cottage pie would really suit people’s taste. I just hoped that it would be to everybody’s fancy!

Alice:

Course 3 - Ben and Jerry’s I didn’t have much time to prepare my course, so I sort of cheated and bought some Ben and Jerry’s.

Everybody loves B&J’s, and I thought we could eat it out of the same tub to get conversation going.

Jo:

Course 4 - Hot Chocolate with Baileys I thought a warm drink would end the meal happily, and give everyone a bit of warmth in their bellies. I added Baileys to make it a bit cheeky; we’d all had a few during the meal, so what harm could it do?!

Ben

Jo

Alice

I’m not the biggest fan of pancakes, but James really made a good effort with it and I found the course quite interesting.

One of the ones I had was a little bit burnt, but generally it was a very good dish.

The pancakes were nice, but they were a bit filling for a starter.

Plus I don’t think I’ve ever had pancakes as a starter before.

I guess James was trying to be inventive and different, but I wasn’t loving the idea.

I really enjoyed the pancakes.

I never really eat pancakes, but they tasted nice and were cooked very well.

None of them were burnt or undercooked, but it wasn’t the most amazing or original thing I’d ever tasted.

Jo

Alice

James

I loved the cottage pie. It was really tasty and I hadn’t had it in years!

It was such a great idea for a winter meal and it was cooked nicely too.

I couldn’t give it 10 though, due to the smoke in the kitchen.

Ben’s course would have been nice if the cooker didn’t decide to set fire and make the meal taste a little smokey.

The rest of the course was cooked nicely, but I have to admit, I’ve had much better cottage pies in my lifetime...

I really enjoyed Ben’s dish. Cottage pie was the perfect thing for a winter pickme-up. The only problem was that the oven decided to start smoking, and this caused a nasty smell during the meal.

James

Ben

Jo

Ben and Jerry’s was such a simple idea. It was great, a bit of chocolate ice cream... much better than if she’d made it herself.

Wasn’t presented greatly, just in the tub with a load of spoons.

To be honest, I like Ben and Jerry’s but I would have liked a bit more of an effort for a desert.

We had to eat all the ice cream out the tub with a tea spoon each...at least put it in a bowl!

Ben and Jerry’s!!!!

What more could you want from a dessert?

It’s everybody’s favourite indulgence, even if they say it isn’t. I could have done with a tub to myself...I didn’t want to share.

Alice

James

Ben

I really enjoyed the after-meal drink. It was the perfect ending to the meal and it tasted amazing. I’ve never tried alcohol in a warm drink and surprisingly it was really nice.

This wasn’t the best of courses. I don’t like Baileys, and there was no alternative.

I had one sip and thought it was going to ruin the meal I’d already had.

She could have just made me a cup of tea.

A bit of alcohol was just what I needed at the end of the meal; a perfect way to end the evening.

Lovely, warm and creamy... what more could I want from a night?! Someone to come home with me!

The final scores

21/30 winner

22/30 19/30

21/30

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

Food

15

Lifestyle

food & drink

Reviews: the best of the Christmas Menus reviews Francos

Harriet Webb tests top brands of mulled wine; the perfect drink for the festive season

1 Brentwood Mews, West Jesmond 0191 281 3434 Franco’s is one of those unassuming Italian restaurants, not screaming at you along Osborne Road with tacky banners. Even walking through the beautifully snowy outside terrace I knew that this restaurant would be just a little bit special and we were excited about the Christmas meal in store.

Stepping in from the snow, we were immediately greeted warmly by the staff, who rid us of our wet, snowy coats and suggested having a drink at the bar before looking at the menu. We had a bottle of Pinot Grigio, in a very unusually shaped glass, and perused the Christmas menu while munching on some olives we’d kindly been offered. We were even given the opportunity to choose some music and play DJ. Despite them not being adverse to our suggestions of cheesy Christmas music, we decided not to do this, for the sanity of our fellow diners.

7/10 Sainsbury’s Mulled Wine, Taste the Difference £3.99

A menu with a difference: Franco’s lovely Christmas menu offers a combination of traditional and Italian dishes at affordable prices.

Ordering was tricky because there were so many wonderful options. In the end I went for the Pate di Fegatini, (chicken liver pate) and my dining companion went for the one of the fishy options of smoked salmon and prawns in Marie Rose sauce.

We were pleasantly surprised at the size of the starters. I had plenty of pate and my companion’s plate was towered with the smoked salmon and prawns. There were other parties enjoying the Christmas menu and we eyed up their battered king prawns and bowls of soup, and they looked equally as huge.

The mains also did not disappoint.

On arrival of the Tacchino Di Natale (turkey with all the trimmings) my companion despaired at the possibility of not being able to fit dessert in. The plate was piled high with everything you would have expected of a traditional Christmas dinner, and tasty too. The sea bass I had chosen was lovely and flaky and had just the right amount of dressing. We again peered over to the other tables and their rib eye steaks with homemade chips looked equally as appetising and well presented as our own dishes.

My companion was determined to complete the Christmas menu properly and for dessert chose the Christmas pudding with rum cream, while I opted for the more traditional Italian tiramisu. Both were moist and flavoursome and if there were patterns on the bowls, they would have been scraped off. For £22.50 we had an absolute feast.

All in all, the presentation of our meal was excellent, and this attention to detail, alongside a great atmosphere and customer satisfaction and attentiveness, will definitely ensure that I return to Francos.

E. WILSON

reviews Firenze

This was “rich and warming” as described on the bottle. You could taste the spice and citrus, adding a festive zing. A little on the bitter side, so not one for sweet tooths.

4/10 Tesco Mulled Wine £2.99

This tasted too much like plain warm red wine; bitter and lacking those much desired sweet festive flavours. This bottle is drinkable and after 75% of it was gone it actually tasted quite palatable.

8/10 Marks and Spencer Mulled wine £3.99

7 Osborne Road, Jesmond 0191 281 2136 As an Italian, Firenze stands out, hidden away in its own courtyard, it had my attention from the beginning. Some may think: “Another Italian restaurant in Jesmond, what does it really have to offer?” But Firenze’s Christmas menu was a tongue-tingling, festive sensation.

Running in from the cold we were warmly welcomed by the staff who immediately showed us to our table that overlooked the restaurant and bar. From the moment we sat down, the restaurant already had a warm and friendly atmosphere that was comforting and relaxing. There were plenty of smiles from both staff and other customers.

We were left to get settled and then a member of staff came to take our drinks orders which were promptly brought to our table. When considering that we had gone to the restaurant to try their Christmas menu, I was quite confused as to what an Italian could serve for a Christmas meal. It turns out I shouldn’t have

compare the market

This was a delicious blend of mulled wine with the perfect amount of sweetness.

A reasonably priced bottle of plonk for upmarket M&S and a very worthy silver medal winner.

An affordable treat: with three courses for £18.95, Firenze’s original and fresh Christmas menu offers great food at affordable prices.

had any doubt, as the menu was interesting and yet still traditional.

After ordering, our starters came swiftly and were mouth-watering just to look at. Due to the cold weather we thought that soup would be a good choice to take the chill off from our journey. Sampling both the winter broth and minestrone soup really warmed through my body and got my taste buds tingling for the next course.

Shortly after we finished our starters, the mains were served and I could already feel my mouth wanted to dive straight in. I ordered pan seared chicken breast, the chicken

was cooked to perfection and the creamy sauce that accompanied it was delicious. Probably one of the best things I’ve ever tasted if I’m totally honest.

My friend ordered the braised beef casserole, which was “tender, juicy and flavoursome”. All the mains were served with roast potatoes and vegetables that complimented the meals, especially the duck fat roast potatoes. But who doesn’t love a good roastie?

And the desert was still to come on top of all that. Even though I felt full after the two courses, I really wanted to sample something sweet. We

both went for a bit of chocolate and ordered the chocolate and Cointreau torte with ice cream. Despite being full, it was the perfect cherry on top of a perfect meal. I could eat there every day if I had the option to.

The Christmas menu is an absolute steal for students on a budget, with three courses coming to £18.95. As it’s Christmas and you’ve been busy buying presents for other people, why not treat yourself?

Firenze is somewhere that I would highly recommend to you and your friends and I will definitely be eating there again.

9/10 DIY: Schwartz Mulled Wine Spices 6 pack £1.19 Do it youself!

I added sugar, spice sachets, brandy and oranges (like the instructions tell you). This was a festive treat as the delicious scent of spices wafted through the kitchen.

16

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Lifestyle Life

life

#9 Free Festivities

The best of the Christmas markets

Sarah Bennett Columnist

Georgie Denny sees what Durham’s Christmas market has to offer

The Penny Pincher

So, I’ve had fun in the snow, careering down a hill on Town Moor, not on a sledge but on a cheap, bright orange survival bag. Plus, being a country girl, I love any opportunity to wear my wellies but after a while, daily life gets disrupted and just annoys everyone. It’s still pretty, the many icicles that adorn the rooftops especially, but if this delays me from going home for Christmas I will be unhappy!

Now I know everyone’s loans are now hitting the very dregs of the bank account, so this week everything I’m listing is free, maybe a bit obvious, but free none the less.

Snowball fight: yup, if it’s still here, get a bunch of your friends (or your family if you’re back home) and do it. Make sure they’re happy with the obligatory ‘in the face,’ ‘down the back’ routine first though!

Christmas carols: I know some people don’t like church, and I’m not really a churchgoer, but around Christmas, I won’t lie, it is magical; I go to the Christmas Eve service at home every year. Who can forget the Christingle service either? You know, the one where you have a candle stuck in the orange, and all the sweets that your teachers told you not to eat until you got home.

Shameful advertising, but tonight (Monday November 13) there’s a Christmas concert being put on at St. Thomas’ Church by the Civic Centre, starting at 5.30pm and Newcastle University Wind Band are also joining in the fun, so come along!

Home-cooked food/visiting the grandparents: I love cooking but there’s nothing like my dad’s Christmas dinner (usually accompanied by a strange yet edible concoction every year) to make me feel like I don’t ever want to cook again.

I like visiting my grandparents at this time of year too, as they inevitably end up feeding you until you feel like bursting, which keeps you going while you’re waiting for your January loan to arrive.

New Year’s Eve: stuck for ideas?

Or planned it months in advance?

Try and find some fireworks near you, if you, like me, don’t want to sit and watch everyone in London and Edinburgh looking smug because they are there. If you’re sticking around Newcastle for New Year’s, they make a whole afternoon of it.

Starting at 2.30pm, there’s music and dancers around Monument, who parade to the Civic Centre at 5.15pm, and at 6pm, there are fireworks and fireballs at the Civic Centre. I was in Newcastle last New Year’s Eve and it was a great experience, everyone filling up Barras Bridge to watch the fireworks.

Whatever you’re up to this Christmas and New Year, enjoy it and I’ll be back for more penny pinching in the New Year!

With less than two weeks until Christmas, my festive-ness really needed a boost. So, on a snowy Friday morning I set off with two of my housemates to the annual Durham Christmas fair. Set against Durham’s stunning Cathedral, the two large marquees are filled with festive treats that will lift your spirits.

If you’re an ethical shopper, Black Yak do a stylish range of Fair Trade winter wear sourced from the Himalayas and Nepal (www.blackyak.co.uk). For Harry Potter fans there is a bizarre stall selling various Hogwarts-esque paraphernalia.

There are stalls selling pretty Christmas decorations and cards, but my favourite bits in markets are always the food stalls, particularly the ones with testers. The Hot Stuff Chilli Company makes a range of spicy marinades, sauces and dips that will tickle your taste buds and snap you out of the winter blues! Try the Kick Ass marinade made with the world’s hottest Naga chilli. The Yorkshire Dale Cheese Company have some great stocking fillers for cheese lovers; a personal favourite the snowman shaped Wensleydale for £1.50. For Christmassy cupcakes, The Cupcake Company, based in South Shields, do a delicious selection. Corn Again put a contemporary twist on popcorn with flavours such as fennel and chilli, honey and mustard, and garlic and herb which make for sophisticated and original party nibbles. Sunnyhills country café and bistro, based in Belford, use only locally produced goods to make inexpensive hearty Christmas hampers, perfect presents for foodies.

For us, the best stall of the day was the Fentimens ‘botanically brewed beverages’. The rustic bottles are filled with delicious thirst quenchers. Our favourite was undoubtedly Rose Lemonade, infused with Bulgarian rose oil. Serve over ice with a splash of gin and a slice of lime for a Christmas cocktail. We headed back to Newcastle, laden with presents, free from winter blues and feeling suitably festive.

Kat Bannon explores Newcastle’s Christmas Market After three years in Newcastle, the Christmas market on Grey Street is a quintessential part of the student festive experience. With over 50 stalls selling food, clothing and trinkets from across various ponds, it is an exploration of culture that creates a warm, fuzzy feeling, helping to alleviate the fact you’ve spent your weekly Morrisons fund on a loaf of bread and a crepe.

Although it’s clear the authenticity of some stalls beats that of others (a bit of icing and malteaser topping doesn’t disguise the fact those muffins are from Costco) the overall merging of French cuisine, Norwegian beer and Dutch cheeses creates

A. DEWING

Three of the best: the Christmas markets in Newcastle, Durham, and Leeds offer a spectacular range of gifts, food and festive treats=

a sophisticated Christmas shopping experience that provides a much needed relief from the glaring lights of Eldon Square.

There’s something about the cakeshaped slabs of Belgium chocolate reminiscent of potent soap displays in Lush that cause you not to hesitate when you’re paying double the price per 100g than Odeon’s pix ‘n’ mix. The same goes for the variety of mini pasties stuffed with chocolate and pistachio, vanilla creams and almond toppings. Macarroons are more delicately arranged than the brownie display in Starbucks.

Although you need to remember that no matter how good they smell, if you’re not partial to a bit of coconut they’re probably not going to change your mind.

Meanwhile the honey roasted nuts are a firm favourite. Just be careful.

The guy behind the stall has a photographic memory; try not to swing by for freebies more than twice.

A Christmas market minus Hog Roast stand would be like Christmas dinner without pigs in blankets, and Newcastle doesn’t fail to deliver.

Boasting apple sauce and stuffing, the temptation of a signature ‘Belly Buster’ is too hard to resist.

If you’d rather opt for something more adventurous, then the paella stall, the German sausage is definitely worth a try.

In terms of the gift selection, the variety of native Indian inspired clothing, jewellery and trinkets are an essential purchase for any awk-

ward relative. Alternatively, you can pretend your poncho was a peace offering from a local when you were backpacking across the Himalayas during your gap ‘yah’.

Unfortunately, if you’ve still to get your Christmas shopping ball rolling you’re going to have to head to the slipper section of M&S, for the Toon waved goodbye to the Market last weekend. However, just having finished its eighth year, it looks set to return for many years to come.

Sarah Bennett visits Leeds and Dresden’s Christmas markets Having spent my year abroad in Germany last year, I experienced the wonders of German Christmas markets, or “Weihnachtsmarkts.” I was lucky enough to go to the one in Dresden, the Streizelmarkt, which literally means the Stollen market, Stollen being the German Christmas cake.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t visit this year, so I headed to Christkindelmarkt in Leeds. Leeds market was relatively small in comparison to Dresden, but there was a good selection of stalls, including wooden crafts, which included traditional wooden Nutcracker figurines and also the German candle pyramid.

These are decorative wooden pyramids which have figurines that

move due to the heat from the candles set at the bottom. Coincidently, Dresden market has the largest one of these in Germany.

Other wares on sale in Leeds were Berliners (doughnuts) in various flavours, traditional metalwork gifts and also, my personal favourite, the Nussknacker, where they sold various different nuts covered in a burnt sugar coating and the heart shaped gingerbreads declaring Ich liebe dich. Having done the legwork and research last year, I chose a 100g cone of pecan nuts and I was instantly transported back to the streets of Dresden.

One more thing I had to visit in Leeds was the Bierkeller. In here, out of the snow, there were rows and rows of benches, like the kind you would find at Oktoberfest, where many people were sitting and enjoying mugs of mulled wine, or Maßkrüge (large, one litre glasses) of beer. I chose to have heiße Schokolade mit sahne (hot chocolate with cream) with a shot of amaretto.

This warmed my heart as I had only made this wonderful discovery last year in Germany.

This market felt German, mainly because most of the stall holders were from there, which was nice.

Also the commas signifying the prices of £3,50 instead of £3.50 gave the whole place a very continental feel. I do hope to return to Dresden market at some point in the future, but for now, Leeds has made me a very happy person.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

Life

life

Feel your best during the Festive season The snowy North East winter is upon us, and we need to look and feel our best for the festive season.

In the run up to Christmas, I love burning the candle at both ends; late nights out, far too much booze, and assignment deadlines can all have a detrimental effect on our health and appearance.

A visit to Wendy Chin, Skin Care and Beauty consultant, will sort you out. There is a host of health and skincare, festive makeup tips and treatment ideas that will ensure you’re fighting fit and looking great.

Starting with health: drink at least two litres of water a day throughout the party season. A glass of water when you have been partying helps counteract the dehydrating effects of alcohol. You will also feel the benefits of this the following morning when the hangover is not so bad. Not to mention that water keeps you feeling full, and this may prevent unnecessary snacking on calorie laden mince pies.

As cold weather dries out your skin, water helps keep it hydrated, giving it a youthful glow. Dryness can lead to flaky skin which can block pores and lead to spots, something you definitely don’t want on Christmas day for mum’s much loved family photos.

Counteracting the bad with the good can also come in the form of exercise. Metabolic resistance training in the style of a quick 30 minute circuit style session, high on intensity and low on time can keep you burning calories for the next 36 hours and get rid of more of that unwanted festive fat. Exercise also releases endorphins which not only make you feel good but look good too.

Finally stock up on some healthboosting antioxidants found in fresh fruit and vegetables or Berocca (“you but on a very good day”).

Cranberries are a great health food and include Vitamin C and flavonoids which can act as anti-inflammatories (think turkey and cranber-

ry sauce!). These ingredients are not only great for the skin but also help to strengthen the immune system which can be compromised by late nights and cold mornings.

When trying to look fabulous this season, skincare and make up are some of the easy ways to look gorgeous. Giving your skin some extra TLC with a good skincare regime or even treating yourself to a professional facial followed by a good night’s sleep will all help in the pursuit of glowing skin. Skin cells turn over more quickly when you sleep, so if you don’t get enough, your skin won’t renew itself and will start looking dull.

Embarking on a good skin care regime may sound tedious but it is one of the most important parts of maintaining your skin’s health. Your skin is not a smooth surface like a sheet of glass but is full of fine lines, pores and sebaceous glands, so it needs looking after.

Wendy Chin along with a handful of heroic Mary Kay products, recommends five easy steps: cleanse, tone, exfoliate, moisturise and additional eye cream to prevent those fine lines turning into deep wrinkles before your 70s.

Wendy, a trained dermatologist recommends Mary Kay products from professional experience she feels the “ingredients make sense” within effective skin care regimes.

After the five steps to baby soft skin, applying my make up properly is the next step to looking glamorous. Not just that rush job of lip balm and mascara which I usually chose on a day-to-day basis. Wendy demonstrates a simple but beautiful makeup regime starting with a mineral foundation (allowing the skin to breath) which is matched to the colour of the neck all the way to eye shadows which match the colour of your skin and eyes. Wendy says, “Colour can change your look - and your outlook. It’s all about you.”

A small hint: if you’ve got blue eyes don’t rock the blue eye shadow.

Mary Kay products are perfect

Look your best this winter: Wendy Chin helps girls look good during the festive season

for looking good this winter, giving your skin that extra shine and removing rough edges. A product called ‘Satin Lip’ is every girl’s Christmas stocking dream: one tiny blob exfoliates, plumps, smooths, gives you a natural line and stops lipstick from bleeding.

Beauty and Skincare consultant Wendy offers a free customer pro-

file, skin and colour consultation, giving you an insight to a new glowing you. So why not give it a go?!

There is a wide range of other treatments available such as massages, facials, nails and much more - it’s a perfect Christmas treat!

For more information or to pick up a last minute Christmas gift, visit: www.

Harriet Webb

Give a goat: Lucy Johnson and Olivia Mason debate ethical giving at Christmas I can’t count the number of times I’ve been given a dodgy Christmas present by a distant relative who hasn’t seen me for so long that they think a shoddy scarf and cheap bubble bath are what I’d like most for Christmas. If you’d seen me in the last three years you’d know that I wake up pretty late most mornings and as for knitwear, I’ll probably only wear it for about two weeks in December; I’m particularly inept at dressing for the weather.

If I’m honest, I’d much rather they spent their money on something more worthwhile; fair enough, if you buy a family in Nepal a goat it’s very unlikely I’m going to see much of it, but the use they’ll get out of that goat will go much further than any cut price make-up set will with me.

The price of one goat for a family is £25, equivalent to the price of half your average leather wallet, or your favourite perfume. I know you were really excited to get that

new pair of Uggs or a new iPod, but whilst you’re unwrapping them this Christmas morning, spare a thought for the kids on the other side of the world, who are feeling lucky enough to live to your age, never mind worrying what they may or may not get for Christmas.

Visit the Oxfam website and you’ll find a range of ‘unwrapped’ gifts, ranging from £5, your basic fertiliser, to £1700, which is what you’ll have to fork out if you’re really keen on building a classroom in a third world country.

Maybe you should give Oxfam a look when you’re generating your Christmas list this year. Instead of jotting down that aviator jacket that you’ve been lusting after for the last few months – be a bit selfless for once, stop complaining that your grandma bought you socks for the third year running and be a little grateful this Christmas.

Picture the scene; it is Christmas day and a 13-year-old girl is opening her presents. Her brother has already opened his and received, to his huge delight, a Playstation. The girl now turns to her own gift and finds it looking slightly smaller, but not holding this against it tears it open.

A few leaflets pop out alongside a certificate declaring: ‘Congratulations you have sponsored a wolf!’ Amusing she thinks but what have I actually got? Her mother is confused, ‘this is your present dear; ‘don’t you like it? I thought you loved wolfs?’ I will leave you to imagine how the scene continues.

OK I admit it the girl in that scene was me, and my version is slightly dramatized but the bare facts remain the same; a perfect example of ethical giving gone wrong.

When a middle-aged adult opens their gift of a goat, yes feigned joy may appear on their face but do you

VS

honestly believe that is what they really want? Reverse the scene and put in their place a 13-year-old girl and I assure you she will make the fuss they want to.

At the root of every human’s kind exterior is a selfish ogre who wants things just for themselves, even if it is only socks.

The second major flaw with ethical giving is that you see no results and cannot even really guarantee you have helped anyone.

All you have is a piece of paper and a certificate, sounds like the biggest scam in human history to me. At least I could go and visit my wolves if I had so desired, which I didn’t by the way, but how many people will be able to visit the African family they donated the goat to?

Are people really struggling with present finding that they have resorted to buying a present for someone else? Maybe we should all write a list; omit goat and fill with an item we actually want.

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Lifestyle

Victoria Mole reviews Clusters Bespoke Jewellery 246 Whitley Road, Whitley Bay. The key to a woman’s heart is usually silver, covered with jewels, and is typically worn around her neck, wrist, or in special cases, her finger.

With the gift-giving season under way, the pressure is on to find the perfect gift that is sufficiently exclusive and requires just the right amount of thoughtfulness.

The newly relocated Clusters Bespoke Jewellery in Whitley Bay is a must-visit when Christmas shopping to indulge a particular lovedone (even if that loved-one happens to be yourself). Selling jewellery from brands such as Hot Diamonds, Dogeared and the beloved Pandora, it is a boutique to browse bewitched.

Previously situated in a more hidden part of Whitley Bay, they have as of Saturday December 4, moved into the heart of the area.

After spotting the window display, it was instantly apparent that I had found the right place. From the snowflake motifs on the window to the sparkling red baubles floating amongst the glass display cases, I was already entranced before entering.

During the opening event, the shop was full of chicly presented members of staff assisting customers, who were admiring pieces in the mirror that they’d tried on and lusting after one accessory after another.

When shops stock more ‘expensive’ brands, the staff and the merchandise can be intimidating, however the staff in Clusters were welcoming and helpful. I was soon introduced to the promoter of the event, Gaynor Edwards, I was instantly put at ease by her friendly manner.

The first thing that I was shown was the watch display. I was informed of how, along with the majority of products in the shop, they can be customised. As the name would suggest, you can request that jewellery be adorned by clusters of gems and personalised engravements.

There are no limits to how personalised the jewellery can be, anything that physically can be incrusted into a ring or pendant, could be. The shop not only makes jewellery, but it also offers a repair service, making it a first port of call for any jewellery-related necessities.

A charm is a wonderful present idea for anybody that owns a Pandora bracelet, especially due to the introduction of specialised Christmas charms. Gaynor showed me one particular charm, a tiny reindeer sleigh, that has been very popular this year.

My favourite selection of jewellery had to be Dogeared, a new range from California. There are a selection of ‘wishing charms’ and ‘karma beads’ that are ideal for a superstitious loved one. With prices starting at £18, you will receive a beautiful presentation bag and a card detailing what power they possess. For a present that will put a permanent smile on the receiver’s face, Clusters is a must.

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Lifestyle

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Travel

travel

Lapland: A winter wonderland?

Andrew Curry plans a trip to the Arctic to pay Santa and his hard-working elves a visit over Christmas

The Courier’s top five New Year’s Eve destinations Olivia Mason finds the UK’s hottest spots to see in the New Year Edinburgh Hogmanay may sound obscure but it is really just Scotland’s New Year, and where better to celebrate it than in the country’s capital. Edinburgh boasts a concert featuring performers such as Biffy Clyro, KT Tunstall, and Tommy Reilly, to name a few.

The evening also features fireworks over the castle, a street party and a ceilidh. On the 30 December there is also a torch-lit procession through the city. This promises to be a good night; just wrap up warm!

London To be where the party is really at you need to head to London Town.

Choices in the capital are aplenty.

For the true hipsters, head to The Old Blue Last’s impressive 12-hour house party. If that’s not enough choice indie legends Sonic Youth will be performing at ATP’s NYE celebrations. Blitz Party are even having a 1940s ball for those who wish to dress up for the occasion.

And if you’re not too hung over the next day there is a carnival through the streets of London!

Santa’s Grotto: The heart of Lapland, where children and adults alike pay a visit to the big man of Christmas himself. One of the many attractions Lapland has to offer for visitors.

There is a war going on. A subtle, psychological war between adults and children that simmers below the surface and is never mentioned directly. On the one hand is the adult’s insistence that every year a strange, red-clothed man slides down our chimneys and delivers presents to the deserving tykes. On the other is a childish inquisitiveness that poses innocent, yet maddeningly tricky counter questions such as ‘how’ and ‘why’?

Recently it has been swinging the adult’s way with the new Coca Cola advert, Fenwicks Christmas windows and East 17 making everyone feel the festive spirit. There are, however, always a few families that decide to go that extra yard and really out-do everyone.

Rather like the annoying American next door neighbour who has an 80 foot high, glow in the dark, neon singing Santa statue on their rooftop, some families decide that Christmas in England is just not enough.

The six feet of snow in Newcastle and the -11 degree temperatures in Sunderland just isn’t enough for some families who simply have to have their festive fix. Instead, they jet off to Lapland, yes Lapland! To

enjoy Christmas Day. Now, I’m a massive fan of cultural heritage; I’ve been on all the school trips to Hastings and the Somme and I’m a big believer in the theory that if you want to get to know an historical figure, you have to go to their cultural home. Every child knows that Santa and his elves hang out in Lapland in the Artic Circle, chilling out and making presents and so, if you really love Christmas, that’s probably the place to head.

Entertainment ranges from Husky sled riding, Reindeer Safari, and the chance to meet Santa in the sky, as you try to spot his sleigh in flight There are, however, one or two problems for the budding Christmas holiday-goer. The first and foremost is the fact that it’s in the Arctic. The Arctic. That freezing cold barren landscape in the north of Finland,

about 100 miles north of civilization.

The other problem is the price. A brief bit of research shows that the prices for the average 2.4 child family start at £832 for a week. Whilst this does include flights, it still works out at around £60 per day to see some ‘happy elves’ wrapping presents and a man dressed up as Father Christmas.

However, the elves are not happy; apparently smiling constantly gets tiring and they are confronted with the idea of wrapping for the next over enthusiastic child who comes their way. Other entertainment that’s offered is Reindeer Safari and Husky sled riding.

Now, I’ll be honest. Reindeer Safari does not sound all that great compared to the African variety. The sun setting on the savannah behind a fresh kill and feasting lions would tend to eclipse a bunch of Reindeer shivering in some snow, occasionally falling over when they get overenthusiastic.

Husky sled riding sounds quite exciting but, if you’ve seen the film Iron Will, you’ll join me in thinking twice about riding some sleds without fruit cake and Kevin Spacey for support.

If you’re still resolved on finding Santa and his merry men, and your family is still keen to get the most out of any festive experience, there is one option still available. It is the ‘Meet Santa from the Sky’ experience and, from what I can gather, involves flying around on a Boeing looking for Santa.

The premise is that you get a ‘45 minute pre-flight entertainment show’ and then go flying in the clouds in search of Santa’s Sleigh.

Once you ‘locate him’ with the help of some friendly flight attendant elves, he appears in the aisle (hopefully when the seatbelt signs have been switched off) and proceeds to give out gifts, festive cheer and some advice on the nearest emergency exits and the best ‘brace’ position.

All in all, there are many fun, new and exciting ways to get yourself geared up for Christmas. You could fly to Lapland, play with elves and watch some reindeer. You could cruise around in Omega Holidays’ chartered 737 looking for an Unidentified Flying Object... OR you could stay in, crack open the Bailey’s and mulled wine, save yourself £800 and watch the Muppet’s Christmas Carol on repeat. Any takers?

Birmingham Want a big city without the hustle, bustle, and expense of London? Birmingham is the perfect solution. Set in the heart of the Midlands, it is ideally located and comes complete with a lively nightlife. Mark Ronson is DJing at Gatecrasher’s NYE spectacular. The Penthouse is going New York on you and hosting a Masquerade Ball, while the Custard Factory hosts Ravelogy to bring you one of the country’s biggest drum and bass events. With tickets much cheaper than London for most events, this is definitely a good alternative!

Newcastle How about the fine city we all live in? No need for a hotel and you already know the good clubs. Digital is hosting a huge club night that will definitely be full of cheese. World Headquarters are going all out with eight hours of non-stop music, featuring Inertia’s resident DJs and themed décor that they promise goes all out. NewcastleGateshead are hosting a Winter Carnival down Northumberland St, complete with a snow queen.

Alternative Had enough of the city and fancy something a bit different? Many country cottages offer New Year packages and with locations all over the country sleeping 2-20, a more personal gathering may be perfect to see the cold night through. Many Youth hostels also offer New Year packages, Stratford upon Avon being one such example, offering an evening of fancy dress and entertainment complete with bed and breakfast and an evening meal.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

19

All wrapped-up in knitwear > Page 21

My fashionable life: the clothes show

Fashion Editor Lauren Girling and Matthew Keefe recount their search for a glamorous outing L GIRLING

Fashion at the movies: a spectacular show, fabulous outfits and a great shopping day

As it is the final edition of 2010 and most of us will be travelling home for the holidays, it seems only fitting to share a sartorial tale of drama, designs and lots and lots of driving...

For fashionistas of all ages and budgets, the annual pre-Christmas pilgrimage to the NEC in Birmingham for the

Clothes Show Live was once again upon us. The all-encompassing fashion mecca houses stalls of some of the finest independent and mainstream brands in the country as well as showcasing innovative designs in creative catwalk displays.

With a different fashion experience for everyone, it is a shopper’s paradise. You

can imagine as soon as the platinum tickets, boasting front row seats at the main fashion show were released, we couldn’t refresh the website quick enough to express our excitement.

However, the whole trip wasn’t exactly a glide down the catwalk, more of a Naomi Campbell-esque tumble. Setting out in Jesmond, prepared for the fourhour drive the day before the event, we had barely gone a mile when the arctic conditions of late caused our little Nissan Micra to get stuck in the snow, taking half an hour for the two of us to dig it out – who said the life of a fashion editor was glamorous? Undeterred by this, we set out in our slightly soggy Sunday best and after nearly five hours of sat nav confusion, managed to reach a friend’s house to stay the night.

With the best intentions, alarms were set, eager to be at the venue early. However, practice and reality are often diametrically opposed, as our host for the night kept us awake with his snoring, so the early start we wanted was disappearing due to tiredness. At midday, we were finally at the NEC and ready to shop.

The merits of going to a convention such as this on the final day is that some, if not most, of the traders are wanting to sell all their stock so there is a bargain to be had. I managed to buy a gorgeous asymmetric lipstick-red chiffon dress for the bargain price of £6. Sporting the must-

have colour of the season combined with a flattering, romantic cut, it was not only a shopper’s luck but destiny that I was to have the garment. Occurrences like this were happening all over the convention hall as Matt managed to find a bargain vintage menswear buy that was a perfect fit and meant for him.

I learnt the lesson not to waste all mymoney right away as, in the vintage gallery, there was an amazing tweed oversized riding blazer that was a really great cut – a garment I couldn’t resist, but as it is hard times for the majority of the student populace and I had already bought out many of the stalls, I had to give it a miss.

By far the highlight of the day for both of us was when we got to practise our “I’m cool on the frow (front row)” bit at the fashion show. The theme was “fashion at the movies,” exploring different genres through costume. Western, military and space-age collections graced the catwalk as they are omnipresent as themes for other fashion weeks. The looks were styled in the most part as ensembles that we could wear in our everyday lives, yet modelled by professionals.

As this show is not just a spectacle but a genuine fashion production, more often than not, the looks featured in this show become prominent on the high street, as past experience has proved.

The master of ceremonies was the stylist supernova Gok Wan. The com-

bination of the affordable ready-to-wear garments with music performances, celebrity comperes and shops to die for makes the Clothes Show a unique experience, truly accessible to all and not just reserved to the “fash pack.” It just bears testament to the notion that style can be found in any kind of guise. As for myself and matt, our day in our own little fashion world had ended and thus began the 4 hour drive home – whoever created the Monday 9am seminar concept obviously didn’t know where to shop!

L GIRLING

What’s hot and what’s not: winter goes to print Victoria Mole discusses polka dots, floral and plenty of leopard in pursuit of the perfect print CATWALKING.COM

This year print has made more of an impression in the world of fashion than ever before. It is bigger, bolder, brighter and fashionistas everywhere are stating, through their striking wardrobe choices, that the only rule in pulling off a particularly effervescent print is having the confidence to do so. It is the season of fur-style coats and feathers; Autumn/ Winter 2010 embodies a vivacious animalesque look that is bringing life to the runway. The approach is to appear composed whilst your outfit shouts fierceness. Everyday outfits in compliance with the season’s trends are, out of practicality and reservedness, only a shadow of the runway collections. In regards to this new trend, are women too conservative in the way they wear prints? Is it suppression of expression or is it a matter of aesthetic taste and the opinion that overpowering prints are too gaudy?

There is the timeless floral print that has always appealed to women’s feminine tastes, however the recent notion is that florals must be given more attitude by combining with bolder pieces. Furthermore there are the classic prints such as the polka-dot, pinstripe and check.

Pinstripe is appearing in Chanel this season both horizontally and vertically, in

dresses with contrasting colour stripes and lace detailing. Also vertical pinstripe shirts have been emerging more prominently in the market for women, the traditionally masculine look has a decided sophistication, not to mention being figure-flattering, on a woman.

Print is not just limited to clothing, Miu Miu have designed a pair of vibrant canvas sandals that are peppered in polka dots. Paul Smith’s latest catwalk show boasts a new kaleidoscope twist on check with technicolour tetris-style patches. Classic check is featuring and always has featured on handbags - this look will never fade from fashion. On the other hand the recent emergence of leopard print in accessories poses the question of whether 2010’s prints are becoming too much.

It would be, in the opinion of most women, wrong to rival a leopard print with a different print from the cat family. However that is not the case for Roberto Cavalli, who has designed a pair of knee-length pony skin boots that are half leopard and half tiger print. Moreover the recent boom of leopard print accessories has taken on an orange tinge that surely can’t be matched with anything other than block dulcet tones? In stylist

Anne-Marie Curtis’ shoot for the December edition of Elle, photographed

by David Slijper, the most outrageously contrasting prints are combined. She has taken the concept of triple-threat and consistently joined three different prints together. These vary from floral to geometric shapes and from monochrome to tie-dye-esque. There is no subtlety about it and it reflects fashion’s attitude of pushing limitless boundaries.

The fact remains that fashion is not always what looks appealing, but an exhibition. For some women they might feel secure taking risks and standing out; for most women attractive and comfortable is sufficient. If a compliment is a more appealing reaction than raised eyebrows, then sticking to the tried and tested “safe” prints is the way forward. It doesn’t have to be boring; a colour coordinated outfit featuring an intricate floral print will never fail to look charming.

Prints can work on any item of clothing or accessory as long as they are matched correctly. If accessories are heavily patterned then you should let it overshadow the outfit and keep it simple. This season’s must-have items to invest in are something leopard print and something pinstriped; when coordinated correctly

these are a definite fashion success.

BOOHOO.COM

Florals: a print suitable for everyone

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Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Fashion Winter warmers

Staying cool by keeping warm Katie Lauren Henry looks at how to create a well-knit outfit

Tim Perkin examines male knitwear trends this season

It’s official, I can honestly say I hate the snow – call me a scrooge if you will, but it’s cold, wet and makes getting to Sinners an absolute mission. The single good thing that can come of this massively inconvenient (albeit very picturesque) weather? Knitwear. With subzero temperatures frosting the streets of the Toon, there has never been a better time to don that chunky knitted cardigan and stay snug. With this freezing climate showing no sign of leaving us anytime soon, chunky knitwear is surely not going anywhere either. Whether it be a comfy woollen dress or that guilty pleasure festive jumper, the fashion world has gone crazy for these winter-warming pieces. Knitwear played an integral role in many of the Autumn/Winter catwalk shows of 2010, with labels including Dior and Michael Kors going wild for the woollies.

So with the grim onslaught of another freezing Newcastle winter just getting into its stride, I’ve decided to discuss what us lads can wear to keep warm but still look cool this winter (forgive the weak pun but it was just too easy).

Firstly I have to get off my chest one of my biggest bug-bears in life, and that is boys who still insist on wearing t-shirts and little else when it’s like a scene from the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back outside. Seriously, I saw a guy sauntering down Osborne Road last week who was wearing shorts and flip flops in mid November.That is mental! I don’t know whether it is out of some misguided sense of masculinity that needing to wear a coat is seen as some sort of weakness, but to the boys out there that do it, you don’t look hard so there’s no point.

Blue arms are never a good look boys.

Rant over, I just think that the point is especially pertinent seeing as winter offers a great opportunity to wear some seriously cool threads. Personally, I much prefer the fashions of winter to those of summer as the idea of layering and adding accessories allows us to create more unique styles.

As my Mum always nags me “You must get yourself a decent coat!” and a good quality coat is the starting block for looking good and keeping warm this winter. As you will have noticed ,the Barbour-esque quilted jacket is massive around campus at the moment and apart from being really warm it perfectly treads the line between being casual and having that smarter edge. Alternatively pea-style coats are still great for having a slightly more tailored effect, and look perfect with jeans and a chunky scarf.

The key to looking good this winter is the accessories that you wear with your outfits. In my opinion stick to the humble beanie for headwear in most cases. I prefer beanies in more muted tones and avoid getting them too big as you don’t want to end up looking like a Rasta who is missing their dreads.

When it comes to choosing knitwear, there’s one simple rule to follow – if it was acceptable in the 80s then chances are it’ll look great in 2010.

Vintage cardigans and jumpers are without a doubt the way forward when it comes to knitted pieces. With their bead and sequin embellishment (and the enchanting idea that there’s a story behind the garment to which you now lay claim) vintage pieces of knitwear seem to have that little something extra.

When it comes to choosing knitwear, there’s one simple rule to follow – if it was acceptable in the 80s, then chances are it’ll look great in 2010. If we’re talking jumpers and cardigans, it’s safe to say the baggier the better. If you do prefer something a little more body-hugging you can always team your knitwear with a waist belt to define your body shape.

The phrase ‘knitted by nanas’ has never been more fitting at present, as we have been witnessing (for quite some time now) the rise of granny fashion. Now, I’m not suggesting you go and get yourself a perm and fill your evenings with trips to the bingo and re-runs of Diagnosis Murder, but if your nan does happen to have any knitted gems hidden away amongst her tabards, be sure to trade her for them (for say a run to the supermarket perhaps!).

If you’re not ready to fully commit to the knit, why not try some accessories to warm up a dull winter outfit. A trusty knitted bobble hat is the Peter Pan of accessories - year after year it’ll look great, never aging. Failing that, why not try some quirky knitted leggings?

Living in Newcastle, there is an air of expectation that we should be hardened to adverse weather conditions. No. Can you honestly say that you enjoy being blue (that is, physically AND emotionally) from the cold? Or would you rather grab a granny cardigan, stay warm and look great? Whether it is chunky or fine, knitwear is a good alternative for the big chill. So why not reach for a cardi, your pjs and curl up by the fire, the perfect remedy for the cold nights.

Pea-style coats are still great for having a slightly more tailored effect and look perfect with jeans and a chunky scarf.

Another great asset in the war to keep warm is the scarf. Basically the bigger, longer and chunkier, the better. If you can wind it round your neck five times it’s a bonus! A debate raging amongst my friends at the moment is whether boys can get away with wearing Snoods, that woollen hood/scarf combo originating from the washer women of central Europe. My advice is go for it lads as long as it is worn purely in its scarf capacity, not as a makeshift hood as this would be a serious fashion faux-pas for the fashion-conscious guys of the Toon.

All in all boys you know what style suits you so just remember to keep warm this winter as in truth, even wearing a full length purple fur, 1970s Brooklyn pimp-style jacket you will look less of an idiot than those shivering their way to the library.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

21

Winter warmers Fashion

Cardi-can or cardi-can’t?

The big debate geek. Stay safe with patterned and Resident mens- ner chunky knit cardigans because if it’s wear expert, Tim alright for Beckham, it’s alright for you.

Perkin discusses Kat Bannon exthe man cardi plores the lighter A heated debate has been warming up side to the male the cold weather in my house ever since I posed the question to my housemates cardigan debate “can boys ever wear cardigans?” There

Photography: L.Bel, S.Peacock and M.Miskinis Styling: M.Simon, K.Henry and K.Short Models: A.Wentworth Waites and L.Bel All garments stylists own

have been proposals, rebuttals and all manner of discussions on different situations where a boy might be able to wear the aforementioned article of clothing.

After a week of these discussions we still remain a house divided on whether cardigans are a “yay” or a “nay”. A stalwart of grandfathers everywhere, the cardigan has had a noticeable return in the last few years championed by celebs such as Justin Timberlake, Jude Law and the ever-sartorial David Beckham.

If you’re wearing cardigans, you’re running with a pretty esteemed crowd.

But here lies the rub of our debate.

I would describe me and my friends (and the majority of male Newcastle students) as having a casual style. There is no doubt we care what our threads look like, however, there is a trend not to appear too fashionably “stylised”. This, I fear, is still down to the male stereotype that anyone being too fashionable is seen as effeminate or “gay”. I’ve certainly experienced it when buying a new cut of jeans, I was told by supposed friends that I looked like the sixth gay member of One Direction. Ouch.

I feel that cardigans as an item of clothing fall squarely into the category as being seen as overtly ‘trendy’ and that is what puts a lot of people off them. David Young, a 3rd year Fine Art student, said, “I don’t wear cardigans as my style is generally more streetwear and I see cardigans as having a much sharper, formal image.”

Cardigans also come in a vast range of styles which complicates the debate.

A broad feeling in my house was that when it comes to cardigans, the thicker, the better. Big, chunky knit cardigans are infinitely better than their thinner counterparts, especially when facing the current weather. 3rd year Ed Barton-White said, “I ‘d be quite happy to wear a thick knitted cardigan maybe with a hood but would avoid thin cardigans. If it looks like it could be used by a girl to cover her shoulders while wearing a dress then it’s generally not a good look. A type of cardigan that came in for general derision was the All Saints-style long thin cardigan that everyone I spoke to agreed was way too effeminate and looked like it should be worn by a girl wearing leggings.

Designers that are producing some really nice items this winter include River Island and H&M on the high street.

However, if you wish to avoid bumping into someone with the exact same item around every corner, hit the net, with designers such as Carhartt and Paul Smith offering serious cardigan action, albeit with slightly higher price tags.

So cardi-can or cardi-can’t this Christmas? A huge amount of it comes down to personal style and whether you have the confidence to pull it off, but I say go for it lads; release your in-

Knitwear – men wear? Leaving senior school was meant to mean you boys could toss that school-badge emblazoned jumper-look in the bin alongside your Chemistry books and Power Rangers lunchbox. Although you may have advanced from mother’s home-made knitting patterns to the M&S “back to school” range it doesn’t make it necessary to make that added step to granddad’s wardrobe.

The recent male knitwear history is a brief one: the lad cardigan first appeared as an essential companion to an Arctic Monkeys gig. Most commonly light grey and fitted with flat plastic buttons and raised seams, they were once teamed with skinny jeans and Converse in the classic attire of the recently-graduated from-puberty indie kid.

Then originality inevitably became conformity, and, (admittedly, I borrow this phrase from Frankie Boyle), they began to adorn any shaved monkey that has been kicked through Topman. The problem remains, however, that obviously men need to be able to wear some form of knitwear besides the impractical cream jumpers found on cricketers, but what is the solution?

The recent male knitwear history is a brief one: the lad cardigan first appeared as an essential companion to an Arctic Monkeys gig.

This has now stepped onto a different track: overlarge turtle-neck jumpers.

Really? Unless men intend to hide their heads inside those unnecessary folds of fabric, I’d rather they were left to the female of the species.

Meanwhile, the plastic-toggled, furlined hooded jackets with crocheted panels may keep them toasty, but if we have to relinquish the cosiness of our faux fur jackets they’re going to have to be introduced to the meaning of the word compromise.

However, every man needs a Christmas jumper. Maybe Bridget Jones didn’t seem too partial to Mr Darcy’s, but Colin Firth definitely had that look all wrapped up in a nice shiny festive bow.

I draw the line at Father Christmas and full zip-throughs but there’s something about the sight of a man with candy canes and reindeer across his abdominals which makes any girl wish she’ll be finding more than just toiletries under her Christmas tree. Otherwise, leave the knitted look to our pensioners, who are the only ones that can do with the extra layer that is often favoured by women.

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THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

Listings

Listings

what’s happening on your campus? monday Students in Free Enterprise Present...

Cheese and Wine Fundraiser

Kaffeccinos, 54-56 Grainger Street, 19:00-22:00, £8 minimum donation

RAG Jailbreak

Information Meeting

Hershel Lecture Theatre 2, 17:00 How far away from Newcastle do you think you can get in 36 hours? How about with no money??

Jailbreak challenges you to get as far away from Newcastle as possible in 36 hours, without spending a single penny on transport! You’ll have to talk/charm your way onto cars, buses, trains, planes and whatever else you can manage - run if you have to! The winners are the pair who get furthest away in the 36 hour period. If you think this sounds fun, come along to our RAG Jailbreak information session and find out more.

Coup d’État

Stein Bier Keller, Quayside Newcastle, 20:00, FREE Welcome to the new night for all of Newcastle’s Bohemians, Pirates, Punks, Poets and Rebels. Expect to hear an alternative soundtrack of electro, disco, funk, indie, post punk, alternative, hip hop and global beats to keep the dance floor rocking.

Live music and alternative sounds will be brought to you from some of the finest bands and DJs on the Newcastle University scene, brought together to push things forward at the ultimate party.

There will be live music from Collide, The Basingstoke Encounter, The First Assault, TeaStreet, along with Djs including Will Reynolds, Chris Render and Hedd Thomas will bring you an alternative soundtrack from around the globe.

1. Poetry

Itchy Feet Christmas Special End of Term Bonanza WHQ, 22:30-03:30, £5/£6/£7

Itchy Feet is back for a Christmas bonanza and we’re going all out with festive enthusiasm...

We’ll be shaking things up a bit with Will and the People playing their Ska and Reggae infused feel good tunes alongside our resident Itchy Feet DJ Leo Bedford for some classic Itchy Feet funtime.

For those who like the old, there is a mix of Swing, Sould, Funk, Rhythm and Blues , Rock ‘n’ Roll and Jazz to brighten up the cold nights and to get your feet moving. so get your dancing shoes on and see out the end of term in style.

The ticket prices will be going up to £7 (£6 guestlist) on the door but there are a limited number of early bird tickets for £5. Check out the music at http://www. itchyfeetonline.co.uk/ or http://www. myspace.com/willandthepeople.

For tickets of anymore info email us at newcastle@itchyfeetonline.co.uk.

wednesday Cutting Edge Art Exhibition

Star and Shadow Cinema, 19:0022:00 Cutting Edge is an art exhibition to protest the emphasis on cutting the arts in education. The policies of the Con-Dem government threaten art and culture, in their attempt to prioritise business and science and cheapen the humanities. Arts and culture are not only important in education, but in society as a whole.

We are holding an art competition, with all of the pieces submitted making up the exhibition.

Anyone is free to enter a piece of work, in any medium they wish to use.

For more information or queries about either the event and the competition, check out the Facebook group ‘Cutting Edge Art Exhibition’, or feel free to contact exhibition.cutting.edge@ gmail.com.

Stan Calvert

POST PONED Due to the adverse weather conditions Stan Calvert has been cancelled. It will be resceduled for March 2011.

thursday Do you want your event advertised in The Courier?

This listings spread is for you. A place for students and societies to advertise any events that they are organising. From team trials, recruitment drives, fund-raising and charity nights, to live music and art shows - we want you to know what is going on around your university campus - and more importantly we want you to be able to let others know about it too!

To get details of your event published in these pages, all you have to do is email the date, time and location of your event with a short description of what it is and who it is for to: courier.listings@ncl. ac.uk, or stop into The Courier office at Park Terrace.

Christmas Carols There are a number of carol services going on around Newcastle this week so get into the festive spirit and celebrate end of term and the beginning of the Christmas period

Bands and DJ’s from Newcastle University

Your City:

Students in Free Enterprise are a charity that use business skills to make a positive impact on deprived communities. SIFE Newcastle has three ongoing projects; two local and one international. The individuals include farmers from a co-operative in Rwanda, local asylum seekers and refugees, and the parents and carers of Howdon and Wallsend.

This night is to raise money for the charities SIFE Newcastle represent. For an £8 minimum donation there will be Northumberland Cheese and wine on arrival, musical performances from community music projects and University students, and stalls selling Queen Bee Candles and Purple Bell Design Christmas gifts.

To top it off, there is free entry into a raffle, with promises of prizes such as restaurant vouchers, hotel breaks and much, much more.

tuesday

Listings Editor : Ciara Littler - courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk

Jesmond Parish Church, By Jesmond Metro Tuesday 14, 8pm, Wednesday 15, 8pm, Thursday 16, 8pm, Saturday 18, 5pm, Sunday 19, 4pm, 6pm and 8pm

Ceremony of Carols, Newcastle Cathedral, Monday 13, 19:00 The RGS Senior Choir will perform Benjamin Britten’s Ceremony of Carols, and the service will also feature traditional carols and readings. Mince pies and drinks will be served afterwards. Tickets are not required.

Throughout this week, join Jesmond Parish Church for the celebration of their 150th Anniversary Carols.

There will be a short informal service at the church with a carol singing choir and thousands of candles.. Everyone is welcome so bring friends, flatmates and anyone else to see off the end of the semester.

The Cathedral Church of St. Nicholas, Tuesday 14, 18:00

Northumbria University will be holding its annual Christmas Carol Service at the Cathedral Church of St Nicholas on Tuesday December 14 from 6pm. The service is open to all and we ask for all guests to register interest by contacting pr.events@ northumbria.ac.uk

Our top events happening in Newcastle this week 4. Theatre/ Film 2. Art 3. Comedy

Slam Poetry – Masterslammer: The Professionals Tyneside Cinema, December 13, Doors 19:30, Starts 20:00, £4

Tyneside will have the best of the North’s poetry slammers battling out for the £100 BIG money prize. Poetry Slams are a highenergy, fast and furious competition between performance poets. Each slammer will have three minutes to wow the audience with their words and performance.

It’s poetry, but not as you know it. To register email jeff@zebrapublishing.co.uk.

Northern Stage Theatre Design

John Bishop Live

Spanning more than 15 years of work, this is the first public exhibition to highlight Northern Stage’s contribution to contemporary theatre design. Tracing their creative journey from drawing board to stage, the exhibition will include a variety of media including flatwork, scale models, sketchbooks, photography, film, installations and costumes. Check out http:// www.northernstage.co.uk for more information.

The multi-award winning comedian and star of Live At The Apollo, Michael McIntyre’s Roadshow, Skins, Mock The Week and 8 Out of 10 Cats, performs his brand new show. Don’t miss the man that the Evening Standard names as “A gloriously gifted storyteller”. This open, funny and clever shows promises to brighten up your winter blues. It is freakishly hilarious. To book tickets visit the City Hall website at http://www.

Gallery North, Northumbria University, Until January 13, FREE

City Hall, December 16, 19:30, £20

The Nutcracker - broadcast live from the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow -Tynside Cinema, December 19, 16:00, £15-£20

The Nutcracker is an entrancing seasonal fairy-tale based on the novelette by E.T.A. Hoffmann, telling the story of one Christmas Eve, when young Clara creeps downstairs for one of her presents, and finds herself in a magical world of adventure….

An unmissable festive event – screened exclusively in The Classic.

Gibside Christmas Carols by Candlelight, Saturday 18, 19:00, £10 Enjoy the candlelit atmosphere and fantastic acoustics of Gibside’s Georgian chapel, with traditional carols, mulled wine and mince pies. Get a taste of the country on the edge of the city at this stunning 18th-century forest landscape garden and nature reserve.

St. Thomas’ Church, Haymarket, opposite King’s Gate, Monday 13, 17:30 Everyone is welcome to the University carol service. There will be wine and mince pies and the carols will be followed by a concert by the University Wind Band.

5. Music/ Fun Lucy Farrel’s Christmas Party The Cumberland Arms, December 14, 20:00, £5

Lucy Farrel is throwing a lovely folky festive party! She and Jonny Kearney, along with Rachel Newton and Emily Portman, are performing some Christmassy songs, along with a few of their own. Support comes from fiddler/singer Scott William Albert Hartley. To complete the festive party, there will be a wonderful story teller, spinning yarns to the sound of munching mince pies, before Ceilidh band, King Cole take to the stage.

friday NCS Christmas Night Out Starting at Madisons, Ending in Venue 20:30

Newcastle Computing Society wants to see off this semester with an awesome night out.

There is a fancy dress Christmas theme so don’t forget to dress up.

Suggestibles Pantso

The Cumberland Arms, Doors 20:00, Start 21:00, £15 Yep! An improvised pantomime with goodies and baddies and prizes galore, plus pies, mulled wine, Xmas cheer and sing-a-long-asuggestibles till the early hours! Firmly established as a Xmas must do, it’s recommended you book early. Don’t miss your chance to see the hottest comedy ticket in town. Even those scrooges out there will be pleasantly surprised by the comedy genius of this praised group of performers The Guardian calls them ‘one of the hottest comedy tickets in the North East’. Head down and judge for yourself and set yourself up for a Christmas of laughter and fun!

Please visit the website for more details http://www.thecumberlandarms.co.uk/

NUTS present Hercules The Panto Premier Inn Newcastle, New Bridge Street, NE1 8BS December 12-14, Doors 19:00 - Performance 19:30 , Tickets on sale on the door, £6.

The festive fun continues this week with the panto seeing off the winter term with a bang. Don’t miss the last NUTS show of the term; it promises to be a great night, full of fun, frolicks and togas. NUTS brings you the Panto in the form of the twelve labours of Hercules. Join Hercules, the biggest LAD in Greece, his socially awkward best friend Theseus and warrior princess Hypolita as they take on murderous goddesses, cross-dressing kings, fourheaded beasts, lions and minotaurs and hinds (oh my!)

What more could you want? A lifesized camel? No problem.

Don’t miss one of the most exciting and hysterical shows to be set in Ancient Greece this year!

Written by NUTS’ very own Patrick Robertson and Matthew Doyle, this is a show not to be missed to brighten up the end of term.

24

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Life & Style

Looking for some inspiration for your Christmas list? We review the must-have boxsets > page 37

art

Cracking Christmas shows The Arts team have brought together the best winter shows, featuring musicals and pantomimes to put you in festive spirits Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Whitley Bay Playhouse

Jack and the Beanstalk Journal Tyne Theatre The Journal Tyne Theatre concludes the year with a traditional and seasonal pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk. This production which has been written and directed by the famous Brendan Healy is brought to life by local specialists, Newcastle Panto Limited. The company has an excellent reputation for creating all-round fun pantomimes with actors originating from the area. It is exhilarating to see such a local production rather than bringing in supposed celebrity cameos in order to attract audiences. Instead, this pantomime is a fun filled adventure for all ages, with dramatic developments at every turn. Despite the theatre’s city centre location, it can often be overshadowed by other venues. Therefore this is the perfect time to discover a new hidden gem this Christmas in terms of the theatre and production. Jack and the Beanstalk will no doubt be a wonderful show that helps set the Christmas mood for the season, providing an entertaining start to the holidays.

If you’re feeling brave enough to leave the house, a trip to the coast’s Whitley Bay could offer you more than a chilly walk on the beach. The town’s famous Playhouse is currently hosting its seasonal pantomime Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. One of the best-known and most exciting fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm, the story promises action-packed fun, as well as lots of tacky, yet fun audience participation. After the highly acclaimed Jack and the Beanstalk in 2009, the producers of Snow White hope for another success with their new Christmas pantomime.

The show features performances by M.I. High’s Jonny Freeman and Waterloo Road’s Lucy Dixon. So put on some warm clothes and let your inner child have a fun night out!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is on at the Whitley Bay Playhouse until January 3 2011 Lisa Bernhardt

Jack and the Beanstalk is on at the Journal Tyne Theatre until January 2 2011

Robin Hood Theatre Royal

Juliet Armstrong

Mother Goose People’s Theatre To end the term on a true yuletide high there is nothing better than a full-throttle pantomime, and Mother Goose promises nothing else but true Christmassy fun. Mother Goose is possibly the oldest tale to be turned into a pantomime, but is still a classic that entertains many every year. The Good Fairy Faberge owns a magical goose named Priscilla, however the Bad Fairy, Cacophony, wants to take the goose off Faberge. So the Good Fairy sends Priscilla off to live with the kind, old Mother Goose. But Mother Goose really wants to be beautiful. Can the evil fairy persuade Mother Goose to give up Priscilla in return for the youth and looks that she desires?

The story presents lots of fun action that will entertain all, in a way that only a good panto knows how. The pantomime assures to be a real festive time, bursting with surprises and adventure that will fill people with the Christmas spirit ready to go home for the holidays, and will be well worth battling the snow for.

Mother Goose is on at the People’s Theatre in Heaton until December 19 2010 Sally Priddle

Song and dance: Newcastle has a huge variety of pantomimes being performed all around the city this winter

White Christmas Sunderland Empire Are you dreaming of a White Christmas? The Sunderland Empire’s festive offering promises tap dancing, celebrity sparkle, a live orchestra, and the unforgettable songs of Irving Berlin.

This musical is packed with the composer’s hits, including ‘Holiday’, ‘Blue Skies’, and of course, the much loved, and much covered, ‘White Christmas’. Based on the 1954 film starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, the musical tells

the story of two World War II U.S. friends putting on a show in a Vermont Inn, and finding love in the process.

Stepping into the shoes of the Hollywood greats are Tom Chambers of Holby City and Strictly Come Dancing fame, Adam Cooper, a principal dancer of The Royal Ballet and star of Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake, and Dallas’ Ken Kercheval.

Going by Tom Chambers’ spectacular dancing which won him the Strictly title in 2008, we can be sure that this musical will be a visual treat.

The million-pound production of

White Christmas has toured in the UK and internationally, including an impressive Broadway run, to critical acclaim and audience delight.

Berlin is widely believed to be one of the greatest American songwriters of all time, with over 1,500 songs, 19 Broadway and 18 Hollywood scores to his name. This musical promises to recreate that Golden Age in the North East this Christmas.

White Christmas is on at the Sunderland Empire until January 1 2011 Lucy Hadley

Panto has arrived at Theatre Royal for the winter season with the production of Robin Hood. Starring in the production is hilarious father and son combination Clive Webb and Danny Adams - a duo that is becoming a regular feature for Theatre Royal, packing in plenty of laughs. Audiences are arriving in their droves to Robin Hood proving the genre of pantomime is still a cherished theatrical tradition. Nobody can fail to love an evening that offers constant entertainment with comic slapstick humour. Robin Hood promises to be a fantastic production, with amazing sights to dazzle the audience and create that magical spark this Christmas. With fantastical sets and the return of 3D technology, the Theatre Royal’s panto is not to be missed, particularly if the raving successes of their previous pantomimes are anything to go by. The show offers everything that can be expected from a pantomime, with audience participation offering plenty of opportunity to help shout out “He’s behind you!”. So head along for a night of Christmas entertainment that even Scrooge could not resist.

Robin Hood is on at the Theatre Royal until January 15 2011 Juliet Armstrong

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

25

Arts Culture Arts Editor: Stephanie Ferrao - courier.culture-arts@ncl.ac.uk

art

Winter blues begone Rosie Tallant on a Christmas exhibition that brightens up the season Now that the Christmas period has begun, any true Scrooge will want nothing more than to build a cosy igloo for one, far away from the horrors of the Fenwick’s musical window display.

However, it may be best to hold off on the giant snow sculptures for the time being, as University Gallery has recently opened its Christmas exhibition, and there isn’t a singing Santa in sight.

The sheer diversity of the work on display by the dozen or so artists involved in this year's exhibition is staggering. From the obvious snowy landscapes to gritty urban sketches, with some sun-soaked Roman hills thrown in for good measure, this group of artists from across the continent have something to satisfy even the frostiest of Christmas cynics.

Traditional seasonal fare is on of-

fer, perhaps a tad predictably, from the Scandinavian artists. Ornulf Opdahl's exuberant images of children playing in the snow are brought to life by contrasting dark blue shadows, whilst Frans Widerberg gives a fresh take on Nordic myths through striking images of imminent storms.

The wintry theme is contrasted by the work of Angela Hughes, whose classic images of the weathered walls of a Roman Villa are guaranteed to make you long for an impromptu holiday. This is an exhibition that covers a huge variety of landscapes, from urban horizons to the wilderness of the northern countryside.

The cityscapes seen through the eyes of Harry Bell and Peter McGlynn present the North East's raw and understated beauty, whilst the lyrical, abstract works of Tom Moore are so clearly rooted in wild

northern landscapes.

Moore's abstract work is echoed by both Maureen Stephenson and Geoff Farley, who make natural events unnatural in their work by disrupting flowing water and covering saplings, exploring the effects winter has on natural processes.

Farley’s light-filled studies of plastic pipes that enclose saplings are as conceptual as they are visually stunning, and give a unique perspective on winter weather.

The eclecticism and originality of the ideas and images offered by University Gallery's 2010 Christmas Exhibition means that there is certainly something to be enjoyed by everyone, whether you're in the festive mood or desperate to find a river to skate away on.

University Gallery's Christmas Exhibition in on until December 23 2010.

The dark days are over: University Gallery injects bold colour into the wintry season

books

Stocking-filler special: comedy gift books Universally Challenged

What the Hell are You Doing?

An Idiot Abroad

A Simples Life

David Shrigley Canongate £20.00

Karl Pilkington Canongate £16.99

Aleksandr Orlov Ebury Press £9.99

The best, and most memorable responses to TV game show questions are often not those that demonstrate genius or real talent, but those that make you laugh out loud or think “Did they really just say that?!” Universally Challenged brings together the most entertaining of those stupid answers. As the pressure piles on, it’s understandable that some of a contestant’s general knowledge will fly out of the window, but some of the answers are just priceless.

Who could possibly forget the man who answered every final round question of Family Fortunes with the word “turkey”?

In the run-up to Christmas, inevitably there are stress-inducing situations when it seems impossible to find that perfect gift. However, maybe the answer is a darkly comic collection of cartoons, in the form of What the Hell Are You Doing? Shrigley is a surreal artist and is very influenced by music and comedy, thus this book is also wide ranging in its material. From page to page it has the ability to charm or induce cringing, disgust or delight, but it is definitely a stocking-filler that will bring pleasure to anyone and everyone this festive season.

What sort of holiday do you go on if you’re not all that keen on travelling?

Stick to a Lake District mini-break?

Or be persuaded by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant to go and see the Seven Wonders of the World? If you can imagine that doing the latter would produce some hilarious results, then An Idiot Abroad should be first priority on your Christmas list this year. The book is travel anecdotes from the Sky 1 programme which aired earlier this year. There are plenty of pictures of Karl suffering for his art, trekking across the Great Wall of China with a handkerchief wrapped round his head.

A Simples Life is the latest addition to the ever popular genre of celebrity autobiographies. This book recounts the life of TV’s most famous meerkat, Aleksandr Orlov. Expect all the gossip from Aleksandr’s youthful days spent in the African desert, to his account of how he amassed his fortune and set up a comparison website in Russia. For novelty value alone this book should be well received in stockings come Christmas morning, if the blatant cashing-in on the advert’s popularity is overlooked. Besides, his dry humour and broken English does lend him a certain charm.

Since 1961, the publication Private Eye has been a prominent critic of politics and current affairs, steeped in controversy and satirical humour. Its famous annual brings together select pieces from the year into a large edition rife with political commentary, humorous cartoons and biting satire. This year’s is rife with hot topics such as the coalition government, rising student fees and other political scandals. The 2010 edition is an enlightening retrospective of the blunders and controversies that have passed. As a humorous and relevant read, it is a must-have stocking filler this Christmas.

Rachel Hill

Jeremy Trotter

Chris Binding

Wendy Roby Michael O’Mara £7.99

Ellie Wilson

Catherine Langley

Private Eye Annual 2010

Private Eye Publications £9.99

26

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Culture Arts

arts debate

The BALTIC: does it live up to its reputation?

Aimee Philipson and Danny Kielty are at loggerheads over the creative worth of Gateshead’s iconic contemporary art gallery YES I’m not a massive fan of museums.

There’s no amount of city break itineraries, free entrance incentives or formaldehyde cows in the world which will change my mind, but there is one converted flour mill I could happily wander around every Sunday afternoon until I graduate and that’s the BALTIC. Gateshead’s home of contemporary art has some of the strangest, wittiest, intelligent, thought-provoking, crazy exhibitions I’ve ever seen and with a lovely restaurant, a great shop and amazing views over the city, it’s the perfect place to take visitors again and again.

However, some people - both art connoisseurs and those who hate art - argue that the BALTIC is incomprehensible, boring, too “out-there” and wastes the huge space it has at its disposal, meaning that people are often put off visiting the museum or that those who do venture in, don’t understand what they’re looking at.

I have to admit there is a lot of space, and yes some of the exhibitions are bizarre, like Damien Hirst’s Pharmacy and the less said about Malcolm McLaren’s erotic exhibition the better, but if you read the curatorial notes on each exhibition, open your mind to the new ideas and just enjoy the crazy images and structures, a trip to the BALTIC can be as relaxing as a walk along the Tyne.

It’s not just for art buffs either; the BALTIC can often be a Pandora’s Box of controversial issues and deep social, political and psychological ideas which are opened up by the various artists.

For anyone who saw Jenny Holzer’s LED installation, the A Duck for Mr Darwin series and Nancy Spero and Kiki Smith’s feminist exhibition will know what I mean.

The best thing about the BALTIC is that you never know what to expect when you visit. I’ve seen exhibitions including war crime allegations lit

The BALTIC is the second largest contemporary gallery in Britain, but does it make the best use of it’s potential space or is it wasted?

up in LED lights, videos of crowds in Hong Kong and huge collections of butterflies.

Whether you’re an art student, a politics student or just have a free afternoon, a trip to the BALTIC is well worth your time.

NO Contemporary art divides people, and the BALTIC is no different.

Fundamental to the cultural revival of Newcastle-Gateshead after the post-industrial decline, it certainly

cuts an imposing presence along Tyneside.

But whilst many people sing the praises of the former flour mill, I can’t help feeling that (even allowing for the divided opinions on the quality of contemporary art) the BALTIC is not making the most of

its position as a leading cultural institution in the North East.

Everyone is likely to come across things that they love and hate in equal measure whilst sifting through the photos, films and other installations in contemporary art galleries.

With this in mind, criticism of the BALTIC in terms of the quality of the art it exhibits is rather fruitless.

Instead, the BALTIC seems to misunderstand the effective ways of using its capacious space to show off the art itself. Every floor space looks exactly the same.

If like me you refuse to use the rather snazzy lifts in favour of the clanging metal stairs, it feels more like you’re about to pick up power tools from a B&Q warehouse than going to look at artwork – it’s all rather sterile.

Granted, most art galleries have the staple white-washed walls and fake wood flooring, but in a gallery the size of the BALTIC, the artworks feel more like the last things left in the rooms by the removal men during a house move, than accessible, cutting-edge work. Take the TATE Modern for example. Its entrance, the Turbine Hall, is a massive space but as Ai Weiwei’s recent work Sunflower Seeds 2010 shows, big space needn’t mean less accessible art.

However, the BALTIC does occasionally get it right. Earlier this year, Jenny Holzer’s LED light installations all took up massive amounts of space. Simply the fact that the darkened rooms dragged the LEDs into focus made it an extremely powerful installation visually, regardless of whether or not you deciphered its “meaning”. Having said this though, the inconsistent use of the BALTIC’s gallery space to showcase its works just isn’t doing it any favours in winning over more followers of contemporary art.

Whilst I’d expect to find black and white photos set against whitewashed space in a newspaper from the early twentieth-century, I’m not sure it works for a contemporary art gallery in the twenty-first.

art

No distance left to run: do we know reality from the surreal?

Ever had the urge to recline on a sofa or collapse on a bed at IKEA? How about prepare an entire meal there?

Possibly not, but that is precisely what one young Czech artist has done as part of Distance zkreslena, an exhibition that explores the boundaries between real and virtual environments.

Showing at the Vane Gallery, this is the first UK exhibition by Czech curator Anna Slocarova, who was responsible for the running of the gallery Armaturka (a creative space for young artists) and is now on an

Erasmus scholarship based at Vane.

Distance zkreslena consists of the work of five young Czech artists and one British artist, who are all university students, graduates or arts faculty assistants. The title combines an English word that is commonly used in Czech with a Czech word that means biased or distorted, giving the impression of blurring the borders between reality and fiction.

Central to the exhibition is George Hladik’s performance video, Welcome to our home, which explores the powerful nature of advertising that uses ideas of home.

Filmed at an IKEA outlet in Prague, the video shows Hladik and a friend attempting to live in one of the furniture layouts, until they are removed by security personnel.

Hladik’s work demonstrates the theory behind the exhibition; that our understanding of the real world is being informed and directed increasingly by the virtual.

All of the artists involved in this work strongly communicate the idea that our obsession with virtual reality means that we are missing out on real life experiences, such as handling a real book with pages or

immediate and personal conversations.

Virtual social interaction is explored in Frantisek Janys Novotny’s work, which uses an intimate conversation between lovers to show how communication can be distorted through an online translator.

The computer’s interpretation of human emotion and meaning allows Novotny to follow the progressive mutation of words as they are repeatedly translated, and demonstrate how different virtual communication can be.

Distance zkreslena also looks at

how sat-nav systems can distort our true perception of distance, as well as how technology can actually enhance our perception of reality, as opposed to warping it.

This exhibition addresses an issue that is relevant to every student studying in Britain today, and the wide variety of media used to communicate its message makes it all the more fascinating.

Distance zkreslena is on at Vane Gallery until December 18 Rosie Tallant

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film

Film Editor: Adam Williams - courier.culture-film@ncl.ac.uk

feature

It’s a wonderful film Chris Taylor on whether Frank Capra’s classic film is a festive treat

It’s a Wonderful Life is one of those confusing Christmas films. The message of Christmas is there; goodwill to all men, love of family, sharing and caring and so on, but the premise involves the attempted suicide of a man. Not very joyful is it? But there’s something about Frank Capra’s Christmas classic that makes it just that, a Christmas classic. It shot from being a box-office flop to topping the charts of polls such as AFI’s Most Inspirational American films with a number of Oscar nominations.

Based on The Greatest Gift, a short story by Philip Van Doren Stern, It’s a Wonderful Life centres on George Bailey. A selfless banker at Bailey Building and Loan Association who swiftly becomes more troubled as he fails to help people when ruthless slumlord Mr. Potter threatens him with a warrant for

his arrest on charges of bank fraud.

As George stumbles towards the bridge to throw himself to his death on Christmas Eve, prayers from his family and friends reach God who assigns Clarence Odbody, Angel Second Class, to save him and, in the process, earn his wings. The first half of the film is told in flashbacks, with Clarence reviewing George’s life. He looks at the wide number of selfless deeds George has committed throughout his life. Be that saving his younger brother at the cost of his hearing, taking over the company from his father at the sacrifice of his college education or sacrificing his honeymoon with his childhood crush Mary to save the company from collapse due to its significance of the people of Bedford Falls and the cheap housing it provides for the working classes. The film then reaches the starting point again, with George about to throw himself from the bridge. Clarence saves George, revealing himself to be George’s guardian angel. To prove this, he takes George to an alternate Bedford Falls to show how

the people of the town would have lived had George never been born.

Nightclubs, poverty and Mr Potter rule what is now known as Pottersville. George, realising the error of his ways, wishes to live, knowing how much he has affected the lives of the common folk.

It’s a Wonderful Life is, by all understanding, extremely corny. Yet there is something which keeps people coming back year after year to sit by the fire around Christmas time. It’s hard not to love this tale of how one man’s actions can change the lives of an entire town. The tale of how it came to be is rather unusual. The story on which it is based, The Greatest Gift, was published as a 21 page booklet and distributed as Christmas presents, with only 200 available. One of these fell into the hands of Cary Grant, who demanded it be adapted into a film. RKO Pictures then sold the rights to this relatively unknown story to Frank Capra, who had already made his mark with such films as Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It’s said that Capra immediately had James Stewart, frequent

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The recipe for a Christmas classic Rachel Hill looks at the necessary ingredients for a Christmas classic ‘Tis the season to watch television, and in December it is family Christmas films that rule the airwaves.

But what is it about these often cheesetastic films that fills us with that warm, fuzzy feeling and makes us wonder if Santa really isn’t real?

And what makes classics like Home Alone essential yuletide viewing and others something that we want to gift to someone else at the earliest opportunity? If you want to be a connoisseur of festive films, here’s the perfect recipe for a classic festive film. The first ingredient is snow, and lots of it. The set of a festive film is never complete without a good sprinkling of the white stuff. It adds that instant Christmas feel and it is so much warmer to enjoy looking at it on the screen than to bother trekking out in your winter woollies Then add some ludicrous costumes that simply couldn’t be used in any other film. The secret to the success of the movie Elf isn’t because of the witty one liners and fabulously funny acting, it’s because Will Ferrell spends the entire time in green tights and a pointed felt hat.

Throw in a couple of talking puppets, whether they’re animals, toys or even vegetables. Anything that shouldn’t normally be animated should be brought to life at this time of magic, and the sillier the better; talking snow in Frosty the Snowman was good but the singing cabbage from A Muppets Christmas Carol was

great. Another essential component is the actor Tim Allen. He’s been in a numerous Christmas films and is more than likely on the set of yet another Santa Claus sequel right now.

Aside from his voiceovers in Toy Story, Allen seems to be one of those actors they roll out especially for the holiday season. There’s not many of us who will get into next year without watching Allen at least twice.

Remember to add a healthy serving of over-acting.

Christmas films are the one time actors get to forget all that method acting and just let loose. In fact, over-acting is probably written into the script. The result is the many strange faces of Jim Carrey’s Grinch and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s over exuberant performance in Jingle All the Way and I’m sure no one would have it any other way. Then wrap it all up with some heart-warming messages about family values. Forget the iPad and designer clothes that you’ve been dropping not so

subtle hints about; in the world of the cinema it’s all about doing things for other people, learning to love the irritating and downright embarrassing relatives and singing carols round a log fire. Most importantly Christmas is not about materialism…although the character must end up with a giant pile of expensive presents anyway.

Lastly, make sure you don’t add too much reality. Christmas is a time we can safely revert back to a mental age of around 8, and watching novelty fairytale characters on the screen is the best way to do it. So what any director should steer clear of is anything that can’t be nicely candy coated. Sadly someone didn’t tell that to Troy Miller when he created his 1998 feature, Jack Frost, about a dad who gets killed in a car crash. Admittedly he comes back briefly as a snow man but let’s just say there’s only a big pile of slush left by the end, and that does not make for festive fun.

What a banker: James Stewart’s character works in the ruthless financial industry

collaborator with Capra, in mind for George Bailey. It’s honestly quite difficult to see anyone else filling the role. Stewart has a loveable yet troubled quality about him, which made him so fantastic in films such as Hitchcock’s Rear Window and, as previously mentioned, Mr Smith Goes to Washington. It’s Capra’s direction, alongside Stewart’s brilliant performance as George Bailey that manages to capture the human spirit and make this one of the quintessential Christmas films. Having both characters be rivals in the world of real estate makes it more down to earth and thus more relatable. It’s

predictable, yes, but the journey to that ending is what makes it worthwhile. In between the flashbacks and the alternate realities is the genuineness of the human soul and the effects goodwill towards all men has on other people. Capra may not have seen it as a Christmas film but it captures the spirit of Christmas almost perfectly. Even for someone who doesn’t believe in angels, the message is still there.

It’s a Wonderful Life is screening at the Tyneside Cinema until Christmas Eve, a full list of the Tyneside’s Christmas events are on our website.

film five Alternative Christmas Films 5) Silent Night Deadly Night Charles E. Seiller’s seminal 80’s slasher redefined Christmas with a tale of a boy who witnesses his parent’s death at the hands of a thief in a Santa suit. Subject to huge controversy, censorship and hostility at the time, it has gained huge cult status and ‘video nasty’ notoriety as a true alternative Christmas classic.

4) Gremlins Joe Dante’s mischievously dark comedy ruptures the stereotypical Christmas movie with a relentless and anarchic glee. As a relentless, violent and hilarious anti-Christmas movie, it breaks clichés in a shocking way. Surprisingly, writer Chris Columbus later wrote the more wholesome Home Alone films.

3) Nightmare before Christmas Tim Burton’s animated tale portrays the macabre pumpkin king Jack Skellington, living in a dream world ‘Halloween Town’ of ghouls and macabre creatures. After finding a portal to ‘Christmas Town’ his elation at the style and feel of Christmas leads him on a mission to apply

it back home. Beautifully rendered stop motion animation and Danny Elfman’s hypnotic score make it a unique filmic experience.

2) Bad Santa In Terry Zwigoff’s hilarious black comedy, Billy Bob Thornton embodies the complete antithesis of the ‘movie Santa’. He plays an alcoholic, womanizing, career criminal all the while working as a mall store Santa.

Despite having predictable moments of sentimentality, a brilliant lead performance from Thornton, creates the perfect alternative to the usual clichéd festive dross.

1) Die Hard Despite being an action film, Die Hard is still somewhat of a festive institution. When terrorists take over the Nakatomi Plaza building, the hostages only hope is the heroics of misfit Willis. With memorable one liners and villain Hans Gruber, it follows the standard Christmas film tropes of family, good vs. evil and the persevering human spirit.

Chris Binding

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film films of the year

The year in review

Elliot Bentley, Luke Hearfield, Burhana Islam, Emily Mitchelson, Phil Moody, Joe Skrebels, Chris Taylor, Jeremy Trotter, Liz Tucker and film editor Adam Williams take a look at the last twelve months in cinema Inception Inception was the most innovative and thrilling film of 2010. With an all star cast and helmed by the creative genius Christopher Nolan, Inception has such an intrinsic plot, managing to persuade the audience into accepting the premise that one can enter a subject’s psyche and discover the secrets of their subconscious which is a completely riveting and universal idea. Instead of taking the easy route with a simple story, Nolan completely immerses

us within a conceptual web of fantasised thoughts and barrier-breaking ideas. To explain the plot completely would be the equivalent of teaching a child loop quantum gravity in ten minutes, but the basic plot follows Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his team of special dream extractors. They enter people’s dreams in order to plant an idea in the mind of the target, which will reveal the exposition of information for the person whom hired them. This film is sophisticatedly complex, with its dream within dreams concept and multifarious terminology. Not since

The Matrix has a film delivered such original magnitude and required so much attention to understand, but still has such a jaw dropping impact on the audience. Yet within all the grandeur and confusion of the story one is never bored, mainly because just about every aspect of the film is done with such professionalism.

The chain reaction of jumping from dream to dream, whilst being handed a hefty dose of innovative visual stunning set pieces like the folding and flooding of buildings or the stand-out lack of gravity corridor scene is enough to give any-

one goose bumps. An original head tripping tale with brilliant sub text, Inception is a film which not only entertains but is thought provoking.

Blurring the lines between reality and dream world make it not just a great film of the year, but a bar setter for future films. LH

A Single Man

Kick-Ass

Easy A

It’s very easy to reduce A Single Man to what’s superficial. As the directorial debut of Tom Ford, best known for revitalising Gucci’s fortunes in the ‘90s, the stylised imagery is understandably spectacular. Beautiful top-down shots of organised belongings, incredible architecture and perfectly dressed actors abound and every shot is a joy to behold.

But Ford’s greatest imagistic achievement is one that reflects the true emotional depth of the film. As we follow George Falconer (a careerbest performance for Colin Firth) his moods are reflected by the saturation of the image, by turns washed out in depression and incredibly vivid in happiness and lust. It’s this meshing of visuals with story that demonstrates the beauty of A Single Man. Based on Christopher Isherwood’s novel of the same name, the film tells the story of an English professor living in Los Angeles in the ‘60s who has decided that this day

A marvellous take on clichéd super hero movies, Kick-Ass has been a phenomenal hit this year, surprising critics and audiences worldwide, granted not always in a positive way. Based on Mark Millar’s comic book, the story is one that we can all relate to, being the naive mystery of adolescent day-dreams. It takes the simple idea of ‘why can’t I be a superhero?’ and shows a believable attempt at the concept.

Our leading man is the teenage, sexually frustrated, comic book enthusiast David Lizewski who, without the aid of any super powers or training in fighting becomes a masked vigilante. However he soon finds out the clichés are in fact real and being a superhero isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. What follows is a thrilling ride of playful comic book irony along with a gritty but playful attitude towards social anarchy.

This terrific story is one of the stand out movies of 2010. LH

Every so often a teen film comes along which redefines the genre for a new generation. Following in the footsteps of Clueless and Mean Girls, relative newcomer Will Gluck’s film ticks all the boxes required for a great teen movie, complete with knowing references to 80s movies like The Breakfast Club.

After lying about losing her virginity to impress her friend, quiet student Olive Penderghast gains a notorious reputation at her high school and is keen to play up to this in order to retain her new-found notoriety and popularity, with obvious consequences.

Emma Stone, best known for supporting roles in Superbad and Zombieland shows her great talent in a breakout performance as the lead, while the supporting cast are well selected with Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson revelling in their roles as Olive’s overtly liberal mother and father. AW

will be his last. After struggling to cope after the death of his long-term partner Jim (Matthew Goode) and not being allowed to attend his funeral, George uses the day to get his affairs in order, reminisce about his time with Jim and spend time with those he wants to say goodbye to.

Each actor in the small cast gives perfectly pitched performances with Julianne Moore (doing a pseudo-impression of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson) as George’s lifelong friend Charley and Nicholas Hoult as the curious,

flirtatious student Kenny particular standouts. This single day in Ford’s capable hands then becomes tender, moving and at times far warmer and funnier than the subject matter would imply, whilst never ceasing to charm and intrigue the viewer with some truly practiced camerawork. By all means judge A Single Man on its visual merits, but expect to be equally moved by a story of deep humanity, one that will resonate with most. JS

The Social Network When word spread that there was to be a movie based around the popular social networking site Facebook back in 2009, critics everywhere had looks of confusion on their faces.

Why does such a thing deserve a film? Then, as more details were slowly revealed, the mood changed.

First David Fincher, director of Se7en, was set to direct, then Aaron Sorkin to write. People were beginning to realise why they should get excited about this.

Then the cast was announced.

Soon, anticipation for this film was at an all-time high. And the finished product certainly delivered. It truly is a combination of some extraordinary talents. Jesse Eisenberg as Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg was, beforehand, known as the “other Michael Cera” due to his roles in Zombieland and The Squid and the Whale. But The Social Network brought out a sociopathic side to him which made his role both sympathetic yet spiteful. From the opening scene involving a break up with Zuckerberg’s girlfriend,

It’s been a good year...

Erica, you can tell that Eisenberg has made Zuckerberg his own, with slight facial expressions adding to the hidden menace. From this point on, Zuckerberg goes on to create Facebook with the help from Eduardo, his roommate played by the superb Andrew Garfield, and Sean Parker, played fantastically by Justin Timberlake, with betrayals and ruined relationships along the way. But all this was not without some help.

And that help came from Aaron Sor-

kin, writer on The West Wing and A Few Good Men, known for his “mile a minute” dialogue. Punchy, hilarious and extremely fast paced, Sorkin made ordinary courtroom scenes into some of the most interesting dialogue exchanges of the year.

The Social Network managed to defy all expectations with the most subtle use of CGI this year and some fantastic dialogue and performances, becoming another fantastic addition to the resume of all involved. CT

There’s been a huge variety of films released in the last 12 months, starting with the fantastic British independent film Fish Tank and the chilling but enthralling Shutter Island. Instant pop-cultural classic Kick-Ass shortly followed, which put the ‘comic’ in comic timing and gave a breath of fresh air on the usual superhero niche-styled film.

Those who argue that this year has seen a lack of innovation or originality will note that half of the most popular movies of this year are sequels; however sequels are not always lesser movies to originals. How many of us didn’t emotionally reconnect with the magic of the Toy Story franchise? Making over $1 billion dollars worldwide, Toy Story 3 is arguably not only one of the best films of the year but a masterpiece of modern day storytelling. It’s definitely been a year for blockbusters and Christopher Nolan’s follow up to The Dark Knight didn’t disappoint. Inception was highly enticing, managing to

show the wonderful escapism of a dream world reality and still be enthralling enough to provide plenty of high octane action sequences.

Some of the smaller independent films also deserve mentioning, like Another Year by acclaimed British director Mike Leigh which had some very serious issues behind the haze of false perceptions.

Looking between the lines of social protocol and the actions of people who suffer misfortunes was a truly moving form of artwork.

Closing the year came some incredible features that made us laugh, cry and stunned. David Fincher’s latest take on traditional sociological habits looked at the creation of Facebook and has become just as popular as the website itself, The Social Network is already generating Oscar buzz. To put the cherry on top we finished with the phenomenal first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. We may not have had a film to redefine cinema, nonetheless there were still some brilliant films that will very likely end up in our Christmas stockings. LH

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Film Editor: Adam Williams - courier.culture-film@ncl.ac.uk It’s been a bad year...

In the cinema multiplexes this year, the best films have been hidden by the large number of sub-standard sequels and remakes that have been released. The lack of original ideas that have come from the main studios has helped make 2010 one the more disappointing years in cinema. The year began with the Oscar contenders A Prophet and Crazy Heart which came out in January gave it a good start. Soon though, the sequels began to emerge. As Toy Story 3 and Harry Potter 7 have shown, they can match the quality of earlier instalments. But the same amount of care and effort was not put into most sequels, with Twilight 3 and Shrek 4 lacking the certain quality that made the original so popular. Again, Sex and the City 2 and Saw 7 merely traded off an established name and offered noth-

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

ing new. With the UK in recession, the Conservatives in government and Spandau Ballet back on tour, it seemed the 1980s had returned in 2010. This was true none more so than in cinema, where a host of films tapped into 80s nostalgia. A sequel to the 1987 Wall Street was the perfect opportunity for a sharp satire on the current economic situation. However, Money Never Sleeps failed to be the critique it should have been. Also out was a remake of The Karate Kid, merely re-telling a familiar tale. At least though it had some merit, unlike The A Team, which showed that nostalgia alone is not enough on which to base a film. The Expendables with its rolecall of faded 80s action stars did surprisingly well and was a nod to simpler times pre-Jason Bourne.

All these films have simply used the concept of an old classic and tried to update it for the 21st century. A weak association with a

better film however is no guarantee of success. 2010 has been the year where the name of an A-list actor emblazoned on the poster no longer assures success. The Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz summer blockbuster Knight & Day didn’t match expectations at the box-office. Alice in Wonderland was also eagerly

anticipated due to its pairing of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. The result though was mildly disappointing, and its post-production conversion into 3D contributed little to the experience. The tagline ‘in 3D’ became a widespread trend as studios tried to cash in on its novelty value (and higher ticket price).

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Let’s be honest, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was never cut out to be a summer blockbuster. Based on a relatively obscure Canadian graphic novel full of homages to video games and anime, it was hardly a surprise when it failed to recoup its humungous $60m budget.

Breaking type, Michael Cera plays Scott Pilgrim, a slacker in a band going nowhere who mumbles awkwardly through much of the script (yeah whatever, but he‘s good at what he does). When he dumps his high school girlfriend for neonhaired Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), Scott unwittingly incurs the wrath of the seven evil exes who rule her love life. This is where the film gets a bit nutty: in order to continue dating the mysterious Ramona, Scott must defeat each of her seven exes in one-on-one

combat. This videogame-inspired structure leads to a series of mindblowing fight scenes that draw upon Street Fighter, Final Fantasy and martial arts movies. If these weren’t enough ingredients to an alreadypacked film, Scott Pilgrim is topped off with an excellent soundtrack - including several original tracks written by Beck, Broken Social Scene and Metric for the film’s fictional bands (which are all named after obscure NES games, of course).

If it all sounds too good to be true - you’re right. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a flawed gem of a film, its second half spoilt by too many fight scenes. Characters are introduced and then killed off within about ten minutes in the noble aim of staying true to the books. Its commercial failure, however, is more likely a symptom of its originality. Universal’s risk-taking may have failed to light up the box office, but Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is already becoming a cult favourite on DVD. EB

Four Lions

A Town Called Panic

Toy Story 3

After being rejected by both the BBC and Channel 4 for being too controversial, Film4 took on the risk of this low-budget comedy following Jihadi Islamist terrorists from Sheffield and were rewarded with surprisingly impressive box office figures of almost £3million, as well as nominations in five categories at the British Independent Film Awards.

The debut feature film from Chris Morris follows a group of young Muslim men who have decided to become suicide bombers with hilarious consequences. The five wannabe terrorists are sympathetic characters and delightfully stupid, particularly Waj played by the compelling Kayvan Novak who repeatedly compares their ascent to heaven to jumping the queue for Rubber Dingy Rapids at Alton Towers.

This sheer insanity of the fanatics’ lifestyle runs throughout, with the group continually mocking Western failings from Gordon Ramsay to Mini Babybels. Four Lions is far from a tear-jerker with Omar’s son and wife being cheerfully resigned to him becoming a martyr. What is most surprising though – apart from it being a comedy about terrorism and that someone dared to make it - is that it follows the group to the very end. PM

This surreal stop-motion animation sadly didn’t create much of an impression at the box office when it was released in early October but is definitely one of the most charming films of the year.

Made using real plastic toys, the film follows the lives of Cowboy, Indian and Horse. The refreshingly crazy plot begins when Cowboy and Indian accidentally order 50,000,000 bricks instead of 50 when trying to build a barbeque for their friend’s birthday. The increasingly peculiar storyline then takes them to the centre of the Earth and the arctic conditions of the North Pole, via a mechanical penguin filled with eccentric scientists. Describing this film as strange doesn’t begin to tell the tale.

Lovingly created by co-directors Stéphane Aubier and Vincent Patar with a assortment of Luxembourgian, Belgian and French funding, this is a truly original and genuinely hilarious film. The characters are taken from a series of shorts the pair created a decade prior to getting their chance on the big screen.

Alongside other releases such as The Illusionist, Mary and Max and Chico and Rita, this year really proved that animated films don’t necessarily have to be aimed at kids. AW

Andy has grown up, and so have those who were first there to experience the original Toy Story adventures. However, with the immense success of the third instalment – it becoming the highest grossing animation film of all time, with box office sales surpassing $1billion - it is clear this did not stop them watching it. Once again the plot follows the lives of Buzz Lightyear, Woody and their friends as they face an uncertain future with the prospect of Andy going to college.

After a misunderstanding, the toys are left stranded at a children’s day care centre, where we encounter a number of loveable and charming new characters and of course, the cutest villain of all time.

A dramatic rescue mission follows and with a heart wrenching finale, we see the toys take on a new chapter of their lives as Andy embarks on his. Pixar have continued in creating the perfect blend of top-class comedy, mixed with tear-jerker moments that cater to all audiences, and have successfully passed on the spirit to a new generation of viewers. With the rumblings of a possible fourth film in the franchise, it’s no wonder they want to cash in on what is already a considered a classic addition to the series. LT

Despite rather meek reviews by critics, the latest Harry Potter stormed to the top of the box office with global ticket sales already surpassing other Potter films. In keeping with the trend of the franchise, the film is much darker than its predecessors.

Here we have a grim tale of murders, ethnic cleansing and torture. Harry Potter is tasked with finding and destroying the remaining Horcruxes in which fragments of Voldemort’s soul are entombed. The Ministry of Magic has fallen to the Deatheaters and the film permeated with a sense of tension and dread. The series has come a long way since Christopher Columbus’ Philosopher’s Stone adaptation.

Arguably, David Yates has been victorious in supplanting Alfonso Cuarón’s The Prisoner of Azkaban as the best of the franchise so far.

Screenwriter Steve Kloves is also immensely successful in satisfying the more ‘hardcore’ Potter fans by comparatively retaining much more of the book. The film is jam packed with much loved and decorated British actors, whose performances are extremely enjoyable, and dramatic cinematography by Eduardo Serra makes much of the film a visual spectacle. EM

Clash of the Titans, a remake of the 1981 original, was the worst culprit with its lazy retro-fitted 3D visuals.

The upcoming sequel to Tron, also an 80s classic, should hopefully use the visuals of 3D more effectively.

The best releases of the year were notable in having not been derived from a pre-existing film. Kick-Ass, Inception and David Fincher’s Social Network were not only original ideas but did not rely on the fame of the lead actor. 2010 has had neither a surprise hit such as Slumdog Millionaire, nor an intense drama like There Will Be Blood, or even a comedy to match the wit of Juno.

Directors who consistently produce offbeat hits, such as David Cronenberg or the Coen brothers, notably did not even release a film this year.

Perhaps 2011 will prove more interesting, but with the likes of Big Momma’s House 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and Transformers 3 it remains to be seen. JT

The Kids Are All Right It’s safe to say very few independent films make their mark against mainstream cinema, but director Cholodenko breaks the mould and creates what could well be the year’s most notable indie flick.

The story follows the lives of two gay mothers Jules (Julianne Moore) and Nic (Annette Bening), alongside their kids, who spontaneously decide to seek out their biological father (Mark Ruffalo).

Once in their lives, he shows Jules that there’s more to love than being a lesbian. It seems a new man can make all the difference. Ultimately is it possible for this unconventional family to remain so? The film is truly unique, and with both Moore and Bening collaborating beautifully together, Cholodenko shows us that the Hollywood tradition is completely underrated.

Ruffalo delivers his most convincing performance yet and shows us that he’s not just a typical love bird after all. The production is light hearted and coloured with humour leading to a few genuine laughs in the audience.

Showing us that big budgets aren’t the only way forward, The Kids Are All Right is a true reflection of contemporary cinema. BI

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film film of the week Monsters Director: Gareth Edwards Cast: Whitney Able, Scott McNairy Runtime: 94 mins Anyone who goes into Monsters with the idea that it is going to be extremely similar to Cloverfield is going to be severely disappointed.

Advertising makes it out to be a carnage filled monster movie full of explosions, tense scenes in dark places and a massive monster intent on destroying everything. But this is not the case. Instead, Monsters feels much like a mixture between Close Encounters of the Third Kind and, of all things, Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation. It sounds strange but it absolutely works creating a unique monster movie that is both beautiful and intense.

The film is set in an alternate Mexico where a US spaceship crashes and releases an infection that creates a number of unsavoury creatures. Andrew (McNairy) is a photojournalist exploring South America who, after an attack by one of these creatures on a hotel, is tasked with finding his boss’ daughter Sam (Able), who was a victim in the attack. He then needs to bring her home, in hopes of winning over her dad to get some of his photos published. Of course, this journey home doesn’t go as planned and the two find themselves having to travel through the infected area, where the creatures roam free, in order to get home. The monsters take a back seat, only appearing every so often to cause mayhem, and it’s here where you can draw similarities between Close Encounters and Lost in Translation. It’s very much a road movie of two characters who, on the way, discover themselves.

It focuses more on the growing relationship between Sam and Andrew than it does on the creepy al-

ien creatures. The dialogue and the acting aren’t that great. At points it feels rather cheesy and, looking at the filmography of the two actors, their past works haven’t been too stellar either. It’s good enough to drive the story along and make us feel for the two characters and their survival; they’re likeable and their chemistry is believable, however it just feels a bit cheesy. But it’s not this which makes Monsters such a great film. It’s the work of director Gareth Edwards that truly sets Monsters apart from other films. For starters, every other member of the “cast” are locals who were roped in on the fly to do their part. This adds a real authenticity to the place, making this infected Mexico seem real, almost in the same way alien Johannesburg felt very real in District 9.

Edward’s field, however, is CGI and this is where the creatures themselves come in. The secret to a good monster movie is to have a detailed monster, but not to show it off. The element of mystery is what makes

opens with a US drilling expedition to discover an ice block 500 metres underground, funded by a comically stereotypical billionaire. Once unearthed, bodies start to mount and sacks, radiators and children start to vanish in an isolated rural village.

Much like Home Alone, the parental figures are blissfully unaware of the events happening around them, distracted by the tangible realistic terrors of poverty and starvation as their livestock is mysteriously butchered. Enter the brilliant Onni Tomilla as the child protagonist who, along with his widowed father, sets out to solve the mystery and confront the horrific force sweeping over the town. The film strange hybrid of horror and comedy work exceptionally well. The ironic usage of Christmas one liners are there, as well as childish antics and a great father son dynamic. However the horror element is incredibly effective, building tension and anticipation until the reveal of Santa as a naked, skeletal like old man. Helander’s

take on Santa Claus is deeply unsettling, stripping away the commercial ‘Coca Cola’ gloss and presenting a feral, catatonic man whose eyes light up at the sight and smell of ‘naughty’ children. After capturing and attempting to sell Santa back to the billionaire, an inspired plot twist opens the film to a wider horrific scope and ambitious climax where hundreds of axe-wielding Santas are lured across the snowy wilderness by a helicopter carrying sacks of writhing children. Ridiculous set pieces like this undermine the films realism but are thankfully balanced by a fairytale charm and strangely saccharine ending.

Although the films climax evidently suffers from budgetary restraints, the set–piece in the closing five minutes is pure satirical genius. As a allusion to Finland being ‘the home of Santa Claus’ during the closing credits suggests, director Helander presents Santa’s true origins in Finnish folklore as a direct challenge to the commercialised Santa firmly

is reminded of the devotion she has for the family business, especially their horses, and decides to take it over. After obtaining the ownership of what she regards as a prize-winning foal, Big Red, Penny must now find a suitable trainer. Finally deciding on the outlandish French-Canadian Lucien Laurin (Malkovich), they begin a tough journey to get to the top. Money issues and the eventual death of her father, takes its toll on Penny who is constantly fighting the overly-sexist, male dominated horse breeding establishment, while also facing the gender role society has placed her in.

Will these struggles be worth it in the end? All in all this a typical Disney film, over-romanticising the role of the ‘Southern Belle’ and the dramatic situation in which Penny Chenery found herself in. The director is also known for being a little loose on historical facts (Pearl Harbour), however he does well in representing the cult-like following this

race horse had in its time.

One of the major failings of this film is its lack of context. It never really touches on the way in which the Vietnam War divided the country and the revolutionary role Ms Chenery played in women’s position in society. The script and acting is also, at times, unintentionally laughable.

The horse whisperer-like relationship between the creature and its owner, along with a poorly delivered performance by the majority of the cast made the film uncomfortable to watch. However, arguably the most bizarre aspect of the film was that of Malkovich’s character.

Apart from the obvious question of why he was starring in a Disney horse film in the first place and the questionable wardrobe, the constant ramblings in French left me baffled and slightly annoyed.

In truth you get what you pay for in this film. The film is suitable for the whole family and is entertaining (even when it is not meant to be).

them intriguing. But, although the monsters are seen (especially near the end), they’re portrayed more as creatures on Earth trying to go about their lives, than as misunderstood aliens, only fighting back when provoked.

If you were to take the aliens out, Monsters would still be a gorgeous film. Edwards’ manipulation of light, depth of field and the lush greenery of this infected Mexico due to the alien terraforming creates an absolutely beautiful, almost postcard like look at South America.

Verdict: Monsters is definitely not the B-movie monster movie it has been advertised as. And yet fans of romance might be put off by the aliens. It is a gorgeous piece of film making that puts a number of big budget films to shame and is worth checking out for the stunning cinematography alone.

Chris Taylor

in cinemas Rare Exports Director: Jalmari Helander Cast: Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Tommi Korpela Runtime: 77 mins Although the ‘subverted Santa’ genre has produced some intelligent comedies such as Bad Santa, deconstructing such a cultural figure is fairly overlooked and rarely pursued concept in film. Finnish director Jalmari Helander blackly comic feature debut Rare Exports, puts the genre back on track pursuing a folkloric orientated interpretation of Santa as a satanic child abductor.

Adapted to feature length from an initial set of online cult shorts, the films careful balance of sentiment, horror and humour render it a future cult classic and a must see alternative festive film. The narrative

Secretariat Director: Randall Wallace Cast: Diane Lane, John Malkovich, Amanda Michalka Runtime: 116 mins Secretariat is a self-titled biographical film based on the life of the most famous American race horse of all time, who went on to win the Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing in 1973. The plot is centred on the housewife Penny Chenery (Lane), who is forced to return to Virginia, back to her family owned stables when her mother dies. Witnessing the poor health of her father, Penny decides to stay at the farm to overlook the business while getting ready to sell it. However, against both her husband and brother’s wishes, she

rooted in film and popular culture.

As the closing credits show Santas domesticated, trained and shipped around the world, the meaning of the film’s title takes on a hilarious significance. However, scenes of death, paedophilic undertones and gratuitous full frontal male nudity ensure that Rare Exports will never become annual family viewing. A very rare export indeed.

Christmas film at heart, with its fantasy, miracles and ‘happy’ ending.

Despite the relatively unknown cast and budgetary restraints it is a testament to director Helander’s style and creativity, putting a devilish spin on movie Santas. Not for children.

Chris Binding

Verdict: Behind the horrific subtext, Rare Exports is a traditional

On the other hand, I believe Disney are slightly confused with which demographic they are attempting to appeal to; slightly boring for young children and not enough depth for those a bit older. Therefore, you are left with the question: what is the point?

Verdict: With a real-life story which lacks much reality and a plot which lacks suspense, this

film doesn’t tick many boxes. Rumours of an Oscar nod for Lane are as amusing as the performance she delivers the film may be about the greatest race horse of all time, but this movie is certainly not one of the greats.

Liz Tucker

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

31

Music Culture

music interview

Hats off to the song-Smith Joe Skrebels talks to local hero Paul Smith about his solo venture and looks back over the music of 2010

“I don’t really listen to indie rock, it’s quite an embarrassing genre to be labelled in with. I’ve always tried to subvert that and do something quite different to a lot of those bands.” As he says this, Paul Smith smiles, but refuses to let on to who he’s referring to. This seems to be his main concern in talking about his new solo album, Margins – he doesn’t want to be known as simply an indie artist. The Maxïmo Park frontman sits comfortably on a leather sofa in trademark hat (tonight it’s a black trilby) and continues: “I’ve grown up listening to Smog and Cat Power... For me, making this record felt very natural because it was just what I was doing whereas Maxïmo Park to a certain extent is a brilliant compromise for me... It becomes such a hybrid of sounds and ideas that it’s got nothing to do with you other than one fifth of it. That’s the best thing about collaboration: you end up with something that’s completely away from the starting point of one person’s idea but with these songs they’re as natural as I’ve ever felt on a stage. “This natural feeling comes perhaps from the length of time Margins has been in the making. The first song Smith recorded for this album, ‘While You’re In The Bath’ is the one most removed from his previous output, and was written in 2005 as Maxïmo Park were at their popular zenith, touring their first album, A Certain Trigger. This might seem at odds with what his musical ideas seemed to be at the time, but Smith reiterates that as a musician you have to “let yourself do whatever feels natural at the time”.

This seems the mantra for Margins, an album of ideas not only dissimilar from his band work, but occasionally from each other. As explanation, Smith says, “Music is great when it’s spontaneous and also when it’s well-produced and the craftsmanship element comes in. I like both of those methods and it doesn’t make sense to limit myself to one or the other.” As a solo artist then, Smith’s

moodtape 10 Songs to get you in that Christmas mood!

The Darkness - ‘Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)’ According to rumour Justin Hawkins wrote this song so he could make a rude double entendre and win a bet with his mate.

X-Mas Allstars Feat. Fab - ‘Last Christmas 2010 (Solid Sleep Trance Mix Edit)’ Coming to a festive taxi cab near you!

musical ideas, rather than a specific artistic persona seem at the forefront. “I can’t fit all the songs I write into Maxïmo Park and because I like all the songs I write – well most of them, the bad ones never get heard – I just want to keep writing different kind of songs... I’m not sure if it’ll be to everybody’s taste but you’ve got to follow your desires. I see it as a parallel to Maxïmo Park, it’s just another thing that I do and I hope to do many other things that are different to Margins.”

As it is, it seems the album is to many people’s tastes – the tour has been successful all over Europe and he finishes it tonight in style with a sold-out show at The Sage Gateshead. He knows the venue intimately having helped open both halls with shows by Maxïmo Park, and says this contributed to his decision to end the Margins tour here.

“I come to concerts here on a regular basis so I know that it’s a good venue, I know that it’s quite appropriate for the album I’ve just made...

It’s got such amazing acoustics that it suits more textured music and I hope we can provide those textures.” But it can’t just be the venue that brought him back to the North East. As he explains, “People tend to support you when you come back home so it’s been nice to have this to build up to...ending here made perfect sense to me. “This might be the end of Margins, but it’s certainly not the end for Paul Smith as a solo artist – work has begun on a follow-up already.

“In the last few weeks we’ve recorded loads of new songs on tour and some of them won’t just be demos. We’ll keep the vocal track or the guitar – just work the same way as I have done on Margins.” He’s got bigger ideas on the horizon too, saying, “I just wanna keep writing different kind of songs. I’d like to work with a woodwind group and strings.”

But this being the final Courier issue of the year, I can’t let Mr. Smith leave without asking what his fa-

vourite album has been this year.

Enthusiastically, he says he can’t really decide: “There’s a few records – I enjoyed the Wild Nothing record [Gemini] and the Phosphorescent record [Here’s To Taking It Easy] which has got one of the best songs of the year on it – ‘The Mermaid Parade’. It’s about a guy getting divorced and it’s amazing - great imagery and Neil Young style guitars which I really like. Jim O’Rourke’s The Visitor, that’s an amazing record.

Too many records. ”So has 2010 been a good year for music for Paul Smith? “I think every year’s a good year for music.

Sometimes people bemoan the lack of whatever they want but I like too many styles to be limited to those things... Music is just this thing in the air and sometimes you get it right and you pluck at it at the right time and others you’re not in the right mood.” It seems Paul Smith is always in the mood for music, and that’s what makes Margins the eclectic collection it is.

listings Monday The Human League at The Sage. £25. 7.30pm.

The Synthpop outfit from Sheffield tour the UK again, playing their signature mix of electronic-New Wave to their fans young and old. You will definitely recognise some of their popular material from the 1980s, but listen out for their newer song ‘Night People’ which has the same attitude as the album Dare.

Tuesday The Pogues at The 02 Academy. £30. 7pm.

As traditional as paper hats and Christmas dinner, The Pogues may not be as known for their other material, but it’s as full of life as the ir global Christmas hit. ‘Fairytale of New York’ is always a memorable sing-along, amongst other classics such as ‘Dirty Old Town’.

Wednesday Angelos Epithemiou and friends at The 02 Academy. £15. 7.30pm Any fans of the show Shooting Stars will be familiar with this comedy character. His Christmas show promises to be indescribable to anyone who doesn’t attend. There will be jokes, stand up acts and songs throughout this evening of oddities. Bizarre doesn’t come anywhere close to describing it.

Thursday Rub a Dub Dub: The Big Bath at The 02 Academy. £10. 10pm.

This popular club night features one of its best line-ups so far. The late starter features some of the biggest names in Dubstep, including Skream, Shy FX and Decibel. It will be a late finisher as well as a late start, so don’t burn out too early!

Friday The Little Comets at The Head Of Steam. £tbc. 7pm.

The four-piece from the North East play their indie rock sound in a great little venue. Come down and show your support for one of the rising talents in the local area. They should be playing a similar set list to their successful appearance at KFest in July this year.

Always in the mood for music: Paul Smith credits his love of many musical styles for the creation of his solo record, Margins

Bing Crosby - ‘Here Comes Santa Claus’ Perfect for getting ready to do Christmas shopping or, alternatively, this is also a good listen during a Christmas-based killing spree.

Bob Dylan - ‘Must Be Santa’ A track from Dylan’s outstanding debut album Christmas in the Heart which reinvented folk music.

Perry Como - ‘Winter Wonderland’ It’s cold and really hard to go anywhere outside but the man has a point: it looks very pretty.

Louis Armstrong - ‘Zat You Santa Clause?’

This song makes me think Louis still believes in Santa. But who says he’s not real…. right?

mas’ When Christmas dinner is over and you’re picking at nibbles, after you said a few hours before that you’d never eat again.

John Holt - ‘Santa Claus Is Coming to Town’ Reggae and crimbo go together like rice and peas.

The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl ‘Fairytale of New York’ It’s a classic even if it’s overplayed.

My task for you is to try and not listen to this song on Christmas day.

The Ink Spots - ‘White Christmas’ Have a sing along! Or if that’s a bit pathetic, just listen to it alone in your room.

John Lennon - ‘So This Is Christ-

Saturday JLS at The Metro Arena. £30ish.

7.30pm.

Having been the most successful act to come runners-up in the X Factor, the boys can seem to do no wrong with their mass appeal, constant media coverage and new album Outta This World. Tickets are selling fast, even with the constant addition of new shows, so grab yours fast!

Listen to the Moodtape on our website - www.thecourieronline.co.uk

Sunday The Quireboys at The 02 Academy. £15. 7pm.

The lead singer hails from Newcastle, and the whole band has strong ties with the area, giving this gig a great homecoming vibe to it. The hard rock band that fuses blues with glam rock will be performing tracks from their entire back-catalogue that dates back to 1990.

Rowan McCabe

Chris Scott

32

Culture

Monday December 13 2010

Music

THE COURIER

music

2010: The Roundup 10 LCD Soundsystem

9 The Black Keys

8 Joanna Newsom

7 Vampire Weekend

6 Deerhunter

Even if you think you haven’t heard LCD Soundsystem’s album you will undoubtedly recognise several of the tracks. This Is Happening may be their last album but by goodness have they gone out with a bang.

James Murphy has delivered an album full of punchy hits that seem to reflect his differing states of mind perfectly; Murphy explains everything is not just plain sailing but there is some serious stuff that needs addressing. ‘Drunk Girls’ edges towards an almost spoken rant of the state of society and ‘You Wanted A Hit’ criticizes the X-Factor culture of mainstream music. ‘Dance Yrself Clean’ mixes more mellow LCD, reminiscent of older albums, before launching into a heavier bass. The album itself is a journey for the listener, crossing different, genres and making clear Murphys enthusiasm for post-punk with its more brash tracks. Murphy’s soft vocals create ambient tracks while he almost shouts along to some of the heavier tracks. Muphy has grown up from his days of catchy tracks such as ‘All My Friends’ as cynicism catches up with him. He also has that crown as New York’s king of post-hip everything to uphold. This album cements that crown and is a listening delight.

Why does Brothers deserve its spot in the top ten albums of the year?

The answer is simple, because it is the sound of a band at the top of their game. The Black Keys deserve to be resting on their laurels by now.

The past eight years has seen them release five albums which, alongside The White Stripes, have resurrected the blues genre, and brought almost universal acclaim. This would be enough for most bands and yet although Dan Auerbach’s vocals are just as gravelly and soulful and Patrick Carney still hits the drums harder than any other drummer out there, Brothers is better than anything they’ve ever done. Lead single ‘Tighten Up’, with its perfectly crafted whistle-along rhythm, sounds like a 60s classic recorded today, whilst storming opener ‘Everlasting Light’ sees Auerbach’s spine-tingling falsetto vocal perfectly complimented by a broader instrumental backing. The record never loses pace with the all guns blazing soul of ‘Next Girl’ balanced by delicate numbers such as ‘The Only One’ and its broader sound is a winning formula for The Black Keys. Whether you’re an old fan or a new listener this isn’t just The Black Key’s best album; in my opinion, it’s the best album of the year.

Coming in at three discs, two hours and eighteen tracks, this is perhaps the longest addition to the top ten.

But the length is what gives it so much charm because, despite there being 18 tracks, each one is a magnificent story. Many bands don’t make this many good songs in their career yet Joanna Newsom has managed to do it in one album. Of course, with this much music, there are bound to be some more, shall we say, wandering tracks with ‘No Provenance’ feeling pretty aimless at times. But for every ‘No Provenance’, there’s a ‘Good Intentions Paving Company’ or a ‘Baby Birch’, the latter being one of the more heart-wrenching songs on the album.

Compared to Ys, her previous album, Have One On Me is much more accessible. Many found themselves alienated by her quirky voice but, after an incident with her vocal chords, her voice seems much more tamed. The quirk is still there, but not as obvious as before.

It’s unlikely that you will listen to the album from start to finish, but doing so is a huge reward. New experimentations with her sound make each track a treat to listen to.

Newsom may be one of the best female singer-songwriters out there right now.

This may be the band’s “difficult second album” but from the way the whole album flows throughout, and how it has been presented and recorded suggests it was an almost effortless process. It was released in January and quickly received a huge amount of positive attention with high praise by the press, and despite its early release in the year, it still gets played regularly by music fans. It is certainly a memorable album with some incredibly catchy tracks such as the lightning-paced ‘Cousins’ and of course the effervescent ‘White Sky’.

Contra seems like a more solid album than their first and it’s clear they have tightened up areas that were a bit loose in their debut. In particular, the lyrics seem to have been focused on, with a clever nod to one of The Clash’s early singles in the track ‘I Think UR a Contra’.

The simplistic yet effective album cover is becoming a bit of a theme of the band’s (although you’d hope the recent legal controversy around it won’t), as is the way they seem to construct brilliant tracks that all stand out in their own way. This entire album is neatly put together and deserves a place in the top ten albums of the year simply because of its uniqueness.

Of the ten albums in this list, this may be one of the less well-known.

It’s not an album that’s received the kind of commercial success that others here have – you’re not going to be seeing Deerhunter headlining Reading any time soon at any ratebut Halycon Digest is an album that demands your attention. Bradford Cox, Deerhunter frontman and prolific solo artist under the name Atlas Sound, is one of the most distinctive and unique songwriters of recent years, and on Halycon Digest his talents shine brighter than ever.

Shearing away much of the noise of previous Deerhunter efforts, what’s been left here are eleven superb songs, ranging from the whisper-quiet, hypnotic ‘Sailing’, the sepia-tinged nostalgia of ‘Basement Scene’, to the luxurious, epic soundscapes of ‘Helicopter’ and ‘Desire Lines’.

It’s an album that demands your time, but slowly sucks you into its unique orbit. Combining elements of shoegaze, electronica, punk and singer-songwriter folk, Halycon Digest is one of 2010’s most distinctive albums – the kind of album, quite simply, that gives you hope in guitar music. It’s experimental, it’s addictive and it packs a true emotional punch.

Olivia Mason

Jack Kidder

Chris Taylor

Chris Scott

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

This Is Happening

best song

James Blake The Limit To Your Love To some, this might seem like something of a perverse choice. Instead of that chart smash everyone knows, that underground hit that made a new star, that song that you’ve been singing in the shower for months, this is the song of the year? And it’s a cover?

But let me explain. James Blake, for those of you who’ve missed his incredible string of EPs, singles and performances this year that have turned him from an unknown to British dance music’s greatest new hope, is not a man who does the expected, and his genre-smashing CMYK and Klaviwerke EPs are required listening.

‘The Limit To Your Love’, however, is something else entirely.

Taking the superb Feist track as a launch pad, he transforms the origi-

Brothers

nal’s dramatic flourishes into strident minimalism. It opens only with Blake’s powerful vocals and sparse piano – if the whole cover took this approach, it’d have been great. But when the chorus transforms into almost primordial bass, as Blake’s voice warps atop itself, it hits harder that you could imagine.

‘The Limit To Your Love’, quite simply, is a phenomenal act of subversion. Singer-songwriter convention collapses at the altar of the dancefloor, yet the emotional force of the song claws its way back on top. Nobody has merged such disparate disciplines before, certainly not to such success.

In a year that’s ending with political strife and freezing cold, this is the perfect soundtrack. Reflective and sad while it’s also forward looking and brave, nothing else this year can come close.

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

Have One On Me

Contra

best album artwork

Weezer Hurley

There are some album covers that grab you even before you’ve had a chance to listen to its contents: beautiful works of art in themselves, worthy of hanging in an art gallery, that have had weeks if not months dedicated to their creation to provide an additional layer of depth to the music. The cover of Weezer’s Hurley is not one of them. Instead, Hurley is an anti-cover. Not in the sense of The Black Keys’ boring minimalism but that it’s just a photo of the guy from Lost’s face. Sure, his smile is a bit crazy and the character is quite iconic but frankly, the cover is ridiculous. So why am I choosing Hurley as the cover of the year?

Because there’s clearly method to Weezer’s madness. A cover as crazy as Hurley is prime meat for the internet, who will take any excuse to

tweet “WTF is about Weezer’s new cover??? #LOL”, and indeed the blogosphere lit up overnight. To tone down the cynicism a little, Hurley’s cover sums up the band well: geeky, fun and irreverent. It’s eye-catching and iconic, and has (again) proved Weezer to be the kings of silliness.

Elliot Bentley

Halcyon Digest

editors’ top tens: Joe 1. Meursault - All Creatures Will Make Merry By turns harrowing, beautiful and vitriolic, this album from the Edinburgh five piece is a perfect mix of experimental Kid A electronics and simple folk instrumentation. It may have slipped under the radar, but is well worth checking out.

2. Harlem - Hippies 3. Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest 4. The Morning Benders - Big Echo 5. Laura Marling - I Speak Because I Can 6. Sleigh Bells - Treats 7. Mountain Man - Made The Harbor 8. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs 9. Beach House - Teen Dream 10. Good Shoes - No Hope, No Future

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

33

Music Culture

music

With 122 albums voted for, we count down The Courier music writers’ favourite albums of 2010 5 Foals

4 Sleigh Bells

3 Gorillaz

2 The National

1 Arcade Fire

The Foals’ second album Total Life Forever offers the world a new perspective on the Foals’ unique indie atmospheric style. The album presents a playful twist on Foals’ sound, with each track displaying a different aspect of their style and taste. Despite this disparity the album retains the euphoric spirit that is essential to the soft texture of the band. The songs are upbeat and not only are they easy to listen to but it is easy to appreciate the talent and depth that has gone into each track.

The album opens with the emotive eruption of recent single ‘Blue Blood’ that conjures wonder for the listeners, and shows the growth in the hypnotic, supple yet provocative voice of lead singer Yannis Philippakis. The track ‘Spanish Sahara’ epically builds into a chillingly powerful song that captivates you and truly stands out on the album.

Total Life Forever should be classified as one of the greatest albums of the year as they effortlessly develop and change their style brilliantly from their debut album Antidotes, and execute this new effort with acute perfection. The relaxing, sensitive yet compelling songs resonate in a way that only Foals know how to do, justifying their arrogance to their critics.

What an apt name for one of the most unashamed musical pleasures of 2010. Sleigh Bells’ debut album Treats is just that – a collection of tracks that are sometimes sugary sweet, often bitingly acidic, addictive, are known to cause extreme fits of hyperactivity, and that leave you with a banging headache. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you mixed huge, bouncing hip-hop beats, syrupy pop vocals, and hard rock riffs with massive amounts of attitude and sex appeal, Sleigh Bells is the answer.

From the drill-sampling riff of opener ‘Tell ‘Em’ to the final reverb and cymbal crash of the closing title track, Treats delivers an uncompromising sound pushed to its limits that appealed to many critics and listeners, including this year’s Courier writers. It’s a totally thrilling listen, crammed with incredible moments that come together in a highly satisfying whole.

Treats is undoubtedly one of the best of the year – there’s nothing else out there quite like it, nothing that delivers the same adrenalinepumping excitement combined with an underlying pop sensibility. Sure, these Treats may rot your teeth, but, damn, it’s worth it for that sugar rush.

Put talents like Snoop Dogg, Mos Def and De La Soul on an album and you’ve got an instant hit. That’s exactly what Gorillaz did this year when producing their third studio album Plastic Beach. Three years in the making, the album is definitely one of the year’s best; despite only charting at number two, the tracks are of consistently great quality.

Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett allowed Gorillaz to evolve into a project, employing many artists to create this long awaited album.

Tracks like debut single ‘Stylo’ and ‘Melancholy Hill’ along with ‘Rhinestone Eyes’ are amongst the best on the album. I personally enjoy ‘Superfast Jellyfish’, which contains a sample of a 1986 Swansons microwave commercial of ‘Great Starts Breakfasts’ and features Gruff Rhys and De La Soul parodying fast food brands. I can’t help but feel that Plastic Beach is Albarn doing what he was able to do outside of Blur and The Good The Bad and The Queen; which let him produce an album with a massive mix of genres and artists and turned Gorillaz into a collective, rather than just a band.

After hearing previously unreleased single ‘Doncamatic’, I can’t wait to hear more from Albarn and Gorillaz next year.

High Violet is, simply, a brilliant release from a dizzyingly talented band. Excuse the basic summary, but the reason it should sit so proudly here is because the songs are just so good. But the triumph of the album isn’t just down to the quality of The National’s musicianship, vocals and lyrics. Though that’s unwavering, it’s matched by the depth of the record, which rewards every listen with something previously unnoticed. It plays like every second has been crafted and considered, and each track provides something different: ‘Terrible Love’s’ breathless crescendo, the carefree infectiousness of ‘Bloodbuzz Ohio’ or the stunning ‘Sorrow’. Throughout, Matt Berninger’s whirlpool-deep vocals are stronger than ever, perfectly flanked by the Dessner twins’ guitars and Bryan Devendorf’s superb drumming. Unsurprisingly then, High Violet’s content is supreme live – I was lucky enough to see the band recently and they included a mesmerising, acoustic rendition of album-closer ‘Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks’. If you’ve not heard anything

by The National this record is as good a place to jump in as any. After the acclaimed Alligator and Boxer, High Violet sees them again extending their incredible purple patch.

Could there be any other winner, really? Arcade Fire’s latest work rode its tidal wave of hype like a pro (unlike Neon Bible, which got sucked under by the undercurrent of first album Funeral). The album may be a scathing criticism of Arcade Fire’s own fanbase, but that doesn’t seem to have bothered the public or The Courier’s writers. It’s another step towards world domination by a band only just beginning to dry off after being drenched with hype (I promise that’s the end of the marine metaphor). It’s difficult to identify exactly what qualities set Arcade Fire so far above their peers. Is it the strength of their songwriting? The cryptic yet evocative lyrics? Their iconic, epic sound? Régine Chassagne’s sexy French-Canadian voice?

It’s all of these things, but The Suburbs somehow becomes more than just the sum of its parts.

If any criticism could be levelled at The Suburbs, it’s that it’s just a bit too long – but with tracks like ‘Rococo’, ‘Modern Man’ and ‘Ready to Start’, each deserving of Indie Anthem status, who cares? It’s the sort of album that brings back memories of teenage years and the highs and lows of youth and growing up, all while pushing the boundaries of rock music.

Sally Priddle

Ben Travis

Lucy Johnson

Martin Flynn

Elliot Bentley

Total Life Forever

editors’ top tens: Polly 1. The National – High Violet Few records have come close to match the amount of plays that this emotional number has racked up on my iTunes. From start to finish, it captures what few artists are able to do, drawing the listener in to their own private world and mediating shared experiences. I Love.

2)Foals – Total Life Forever 3)Sleigh Bells – Treats 4)Vampire Weekend - Contra 5)Arcade Fire – The Suburbs 6)Les Savy Fav – Root For Ruin 7)Best Coast – Crazy For You 8)LCD SoundSystem – This is Happening 9)Laura Marling – I Speak because I Can 10)Belle and Sebastian – Write about Love

Treats

Plastic Beach

best music video

Hot Chip I Feel Better

Choosing the best music video from 2010 has been pretty tough. We’ve had celebrity cameos, such as Bruce Willis in Gorillaz’ ‘Stylo’ and Kristen Bell in Yeasayer’s ‘Madder Red’ videos, famous directors, such as Spike Jonze for Arcade Fire’s ‘The Suburbs’, raw emotion in a simple video, as found in Janelle Monae’s ‘Cold War’ video, or just downright weirdness. The final decision came down to a mixture of three of those categories.

Directed by comedy genius, impersonator extraordinaire and Twitter king Peter Serafinowicz, starring children’s TV presenter and standup comedian Ross Lee and containing a hell of a lot of downright weirdness, the video for Hot Chip’s ‘I Feel Better’ is one of the more stand out videos from 2010.

Allow me to attempt to explain what you’ll see if you look it up.

It starts off simply enough with a manufactured boy band version of the geek chic Hot Chip. After some teenage girl swooning and suggestive dancing, a bald monk-like man floats in killing the band members (by firing lasers out of his mouth, obviously), only to revive the band with himself at the forefront - all wearing white suits. As the crowd accepts this new band, a floating head comes in and destroys the band, the crowd, the actual Hot Chip and the stage.

After sweeping the internet, it spawned its own meme with the much-loved ‘Cancer Jesus’, as he was sensitively dubbed, popping up all over the web. It makes no sense and it features lasers and a floating head. What’s not to love?

Chris Taylor

High Violet

The Suburbs

worst artist

Michael Jackson Really.

The death of Michael Jackson left the magnum opus of a rotting corpse for the desperate vultures of major labels to feast upon once more.

The death of Michael Jackson highlighted everything wrong with pop music in the 21st century. Whilst it’s true the majority of the milking occurred preceding last year’s festivities, in the first quarter of 2010, Michael proved his immortality by continuining to litter the frontlines of HMV and Tesco. His death denied the opportunity for an onslaught on pop music in a time when it was needed most. Instead of injecting a new lease of life into pop one last time when it was needed most, the dream died with the King. The Michael Jackson brand has now become a laughing stock and looks set

to continue with the posthumous release of Michael – a move even collaborator will.i.am has condemned.

We will never look back on the likes of Bieber, Pink and Rihanna with the same sense of timeless pride that our parents can with the starts of the 80s; music as an artistic entity is losing its direction. Michael Jackson is the worst artist of 2010 simply for dying and leaving us with the fallout of a broken culture.

Stuart Edwards

34

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Culture

Music

albums Girl Talk All Day

The master of mash-ups is back. In the two years since Feed The Animals, Girl Talk has continued to absorb yet more musicians into his encyclopaedic mega-brain and his gift to humanity is another hour-long mix of rap, rock, pop, metal and electronica, all set to bouncing hip-hop beats.

Opening with a blend of Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’ and Ludacris’ ‘Move Bitch’ (an unconventional mix, to say the least) and including within its 372 samples Lady Gaga, Madness, Aphex Twin, T-Pain, Rhianna, U2 and even John Lennon, Girl Talk’s choice of songs - or expert mixing skills - never fails to delight.

The album, like all of Girl Talk’s back catalogue, essentially consists of one giant song divided fairly arbitrarily into individual tracks. It works best in a single listen, and Girl Talk’s notoriously short attention span means that whenever you might feel even a little bit tempted to turn it off, he’ll chuck in some Daft Punk. Or some Supergrass. Or

music

the top 5

‘Paint It Black’. It’s difficult to stop, honestly.

Look further though, and you’ll see Girl Talk’s work is so much more just than a demonstration of the breadth of his iTunes library.

Somehow he combines these tracks in a way that complements both to the extent that they sound even better than the original. Whether this is achieved by matching up similar rhythms, similar themes, or simply by supernatural powers attained in a mysterious storm is unknown to me.

It may essentially be more of the same - and if you know Girl Talk already you’ll know what to expect but for the uninitiated it’s a wonderful pop music ‘best of’. Though his appeal may wear thin in the future, for now Girl Talk has undoubtedly himself found a glorious little niche to carve out. The most mind-blowing feature of All Day is the fact that, despite that his records are made entirely from samples of other people’s songs, they retain a distinctive Girl Talk sound - celebrating the universal joy of music itself.

Oh, and did I mention the entire album is free at illegal-art.net/allday/?

The Christmas Special!

1. John Cage – 4:33 Of the many contenders for the coveted title of Christmas Number One this year, surely the most bizarre and appealing has to be the Cage Against The Machine campaign’s bid to get John Cage’s infamous minimalist composition ‘4:33’, consisting of three movements of silence, to the top. And really, what could be more perfect than a moment of quiet and reflection at Christmas?

2. The Ronettes – Be My Baby John Cage’s piece is far from the only oldie going for gold this year.

Another notable Facebook campaign is to get this Phil Spector produced classic, with an opening drum beat that’s inspired everyone from the Motown label to The Jesus & Mary Chain, a new burst of life.

Elliot Bentley

Black Eyed Peas

Josh Groban

Guilty Hands

Stateless

Following the smash hit The E.N.D, The Black Eyed Peas are back and moving somewhat in a paradoxical direction as the new album is labelled The Beginning. The title’s supposed meaning is to imply that their most recent work is ‘the beginning’ of a new era of sound within the music industry.

However one can’t help but feel that they’ve stumbled into an eighties retro bar whilst writing this album.

Mixing classic snippets like “I’ve had the time of my life” from Dirty Dancing brings ‘The Time (Dirty Bit)’ to life with a blend of autotune to transform it into a modern day club track. Some tracks are undoubtedly worthy of chart success like ‘Someday’ and ‘Don’t stop’ the party, which have catchy rhythms and roaring chorus lines.

‘Fashion Beats’ is extremely engaging as it constantly feels like you’ve just upped one life in a Super Mario game. There’s a disappointing lack of Fergie’s vocals on a majority of the tracks, missing vital chances to boost up certain songs like ‘Do it like this’, which felt a little bland for such an innovative band. However a decent mix of past and present styled music makes this album worth a listen.

Unsurprisingly, Josh Groban is ridiculously famous in America. I say unsurprisingly, because America has produced such musical genius as Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, and Paula Abdul, the list is continuing.

Therefore, in some circumstances, it is not wise to look to America for ‘the next big thing.’

Cruelly tricked into thinking Josh Groban would be another John Mayer, the moody, atmospheric cover doesn’t hint at the horrors that lie within. This album is a bizarre mixture of opera singing, such as the ‘L’Ora Dell’Addio,’ and ‘Disneyesque’ power ballads such as ‘If I Walk Away’ and ‘Higher Window,’ taking the listener not only by surprise, but is also surprisingly gripping, considering how ridiculous the song combinations are.

Groban induces that staring-intonothing mind blank that tricks you into thinking you’re enjoying his music. You probably won’t be. On a more positive note, this album is perfect for Christmas. It is, as the cover suggests, somewhat atmospheric (look to ‘London Hymn’ for an example of this) and perhaps could, at a stretch, be quite good background music on a winter’s day. Or, it could be a good stocking filler for someone you don’t like.

If you were to tell most bands that their debut album had completely depressed you they would not be happy. Guilty Hands however would be ecstatic. This dark album is far from normal with songs about graveyard sex and the burning of a suspected child abuser offering an example of the twisted gothic style of the band.

Guilty Hands’ ominous brand of electro pop sounds like a funkier version of the White Rose Movement, which is generally not my personal cup of tea. Though Desire on a Short Leash particularly disappointed me due to the hype surrounding the album after the band’s success in winning a £15,000 record deal in 2009. All of the songs are extremely self-indulgent and though some boast an impressive combination of sounds, instruments and electro effects this is often lost to the irritating repetitive vocals of the lead singer. These dark-confusing lyrics put to synth bass lines give the idea of dance songs for the clinically depressed.

If you are not angry at the world or your parents, you will not appreciate this album, which is released in February. Most people will be completely baffled and disheartened by Guilty Hands.

As a band of DJ Shadow acolytes, Stateless have been dogged by that association since day one. Their contemplative, full-band trip-hop style was interesting, critically wellreceived but immediately familiar.

It seems to be that realisation that’s pushed the band to expand their sonic repertoire beyond the merely familiar for their sophomore album.

Matilda is a minefield of musical influences from beginning to end – Middle Eastern guitar hooks, the unmistakeable bass sound of dubstep, folky interludes – it’s all in here. It’s certainly an intriguing listen, but after a few tracks you begin to pray for some cohesion. No track is really allowed to stand out because the sound here is so changeable, never allowing for a truly catchy chorus or a melody to settle in. In fact, it takes until the final track, ‘I Shall Not Complain’ for anything to really catch the ear, and it borrows several ideas from the best track on their first album, ‘Bloodstream’, anyway.

There’s no doubt that Stateless have been proactive in trying to improve their sound and carve out a niche for themselves, but in doing so they’ve stopped sounding like someone else, and ended up sounding like too many people at once.

Amelia Wareing

Kieran Flynn

The Beginning

Luke Hearfield

Illuminations

Desire on a Short Leash

Matilda

Joe Skrebels

3. Shane MacGowan & The Priests – Little Drummer Boy Next up, here’s a man with past form at this Christmas hit lark; Shane MacGowan. Teaming up with The Priests (and yes, they are actual priests – wonder what they had to say about Shane’s imbibing?) to cover ‘Little Drummer Boy’, it’s no ‘Fairytale of New York’ but it’s an interesting listen regardless.

4. Wyatt/Atzmon/Stephen – What A Wonderful World In which three musical legends collaborate to produce a haunting, beautiful take on the Louis Armstrong standard. One of the most remarkable tracks you’ll hear all Christmas.

5. Kunt and the Gang – Use My A As A C Last but not least, here’s the most obscene wannabe Christmas charttopper of this, or indeed any other, year. Irrepressibly smutty and mind-bogglingly catchy, he’s also recorded an updated version with lyrics about Nick Clegg ‘receiving’ the Conservatives. Nice.

Mark Corcoran Lettice

The Courier Online!

For exclusive reviews of album releases and live gigs from around the city,as well as specialist blogs and the Top 5 and mood tape playlists, head to the music section of The Courier website: thecourieronline.co.uk/music

35

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

Culture

TV & Radio

tv & radio

tv highlight

TV & Radio Editors: Lynsey Fawcett & Ellie Wilson - courier.culture-tv@ncl.ac.uk

soaps

Royal Variety Peformance

Coronation Street:

Mon, Thurs, Fri on ITV1 Becky meets Kylie and threatens to kill her if she ever sees her again, will Kylie do what she’s told?

The reality of the tram crash hits home as the tearful residents gather to lay to rest the first of the victims and an investigation into the case of the explosion uncovers a gas problem at The Joinery.

The Royal Variety is back for its 82nd celebration with Michael McIntyre hosting.

Thursday 8pm, BBC1 It’s that time of year again when the finest musicians, comedians and performers that British entertainment has to offer come together at the iconic London Palladium to light up the stage in the presence of Their Royal Highnesses, The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall. They will gather to celebrate the 82nd annual Royal Variety Performance.

This year sees award-winning comedian Michael McIntyre try out his hosting skills as he introduces an all-star comedy line-up onto the London Palladium stage. With acts such as Liverpool’s king of comedy John Bishop; Edinburgh Fringe Festival ‘Best Newcomer’ Sarah Millican; new talent Jack Whitehall and everyone’s favourite East End geezer Micky Flanagan.

If that wasn’t enough, The Royal Variety also treats us to a greatly anticipated reunion of Take That; who will perform on the show as a five-piece band for the first time since 1994. As well as this, singing sensation and nation’s sweetheart Cheryl Cole will take to the stage with an exclusive performance of ‘The Flood’, taken from her second number one solo album Messy Little Raindrops. To top off this feast of

tv previews

Alan Carr: Chatty Man Monday 10pm, Channel 4

Eastenders

Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri on BBC1 Janine lies to a suspicious Pat about where Ryan is, whilst back at the flat she is drugging him and keeping him locked out of sight from Stacey.

Ben is released from jail and when Phil reaches out to him he is rewarded with a punch in the mouth.

Glenda is pushed down the stairs by a mystery attacker and winds up Ian and Phil by suggesting it’s someone who knows about their affairs.

Variety: A host of celebrities come together again to entertain the Royals as well as the nation and there is something for everyone

popular music’s best, urban trio NDubz will be rapping for the Royals, as they make their Variety Performance debut.

Commenting on this year’s line-up Michael McIntyre has said “I am unbelievably excited to be hosting The Royal Variety Performance this year at the London Palladium in its centenary year. It is a dream come true.”

With acts like last year’s Britains Got Talent winner’s Spellbound performing a brand new routine and

The Million Pound Drop Live Wednesday 8pm, Channel 4

top-class ice-skater and two-time winner of Dancing On Ice Daniel Whiston, Michael is right to be excited.

Staying true to its name, The Royal Variety Performance yet again showcases its devotion to diversity in entertainment, with the people’s tenor Russell Watson delivering a powerful performance of ‘Parla Piu Piano’, while the Chelsea Pensioners will give a heart warming rendition of ‘If You Were The Only Girl (In The

Festivals Britannia Friday 9pm, BBC 4

World)’. This year’s Royal Variety also marks the 25th anniversary of Les Miserables with performers from the show, including Alfie Boe, singing a medley of songs from the smash-hit musical.

This year’s line-up promises to be a good one, whether you’re a lover of top-class British comedy or a theatre patron, there truly is something for everyone.

Marianne Spence

David Suchet On The Orient Express Sunday 9pm, ITV 1

Emmerdale

Weekdays 7pm on ITV Rhona and Paddy go for a scan and receive some devastating news about the baby. Chas suspects Carl has ended his affair with Eve and has second thoughts about her plan, until she sees them talking.

Katie is frustrated by Andy’s jealousy and Hazel worries she won’t be able to adapt the house for Jackson in time for Christmas; until a mystery benefactor pays for it.

Hollyoaks

Weekdays 6.30pm on C4 Mercedes ponders whether to take the sum of money Carl has offered her to get away from Riley.

The school disco proves a nightmare for Jasmine, as Fern prepares to reveal her secret to everyone. Sinead confides in Diane after reading Amber’s diary and with her secret closing in Jasmine finally reveals ‘Jason’ to her family. Plus catch a special late night episode on Wednesday 10pm C4.

Neighbours Since parting ways with the fastfading Justin Lee-Collins, comedian Alan Carr has gone from strength to strength. His post-JLC career includes stand-up comedy and friendly banter on his Radio 2 show. But arguably his most successful work is his Channel 4 show, Chatty Man. The ‘celebrity getting a chat show’ bandwagon is getting fairly large, but Alan Carr’s show has a fresh feel to it, and most importantly it’s really funny.

At the start of the new series, Alan is joined by the cast of The Inbetweeners, who are plugging the show’s DVD box set in time for Christmas – not that the show needs publicising.

Also on the sofa is David ‘The Hoff’ Hasselhoff, as well as heartthrobs Colin Farrell and Jim Sturgess, who talk about their new movie The Way Back. Music comes from Cee Lo Green, who performs his new single ‘It’s Ok’, which would be an understating way to describe Chatty Man. Adam Rummens

The Million Pound Drop Live sees Davina McCall giving members of the public the chance to win an incredible life changing one million pounds.

This Christmas, the series returns for a special to be aired over four consecutive nights. Contestants answer questions and place a lump of money on the answer that they think is correct from a starting bank of a million pounds. But should they be wrong, they then lose that money.

The first show of the Christmas special stars a famous mother and daughter team, who aim to raise money for a charity of their choice.

But will they be able to hold onto their million pounds as they answer eight tough questions. Will they have what it takes to beat The Million Pound Drop?

Earlier this year, four couples beat the Drop to take away amazing cash prizes and viewers can play along online with virtual money at the same time, so get ready for some high tension excitement.

Festivals Britannia is a ninety minute documentary exploring the emergence and evolution of the British music festival scene. It traces the history of the festival in three parts: Something in the Air, Ramble On, and A Rush and a Push and the Land Is Ours.

From its origins in early jazz festivals at Beauliue and the first Isle of Wight festival, through to the present day, the programme takes a look at the increasing commercialisation of festivals with big business and TV broadcasting playing a bigger role. It traces the ebb and flow of British festival culture over the past 50 years and examines the tension between people’s primitive desire to come together and the desire of the state, to stringently police these often unruly gatherings.

A central theme of the documentary is the ongoing argument about British freedoms, which is brought to life through a fantastic soundtrack celebrating fifty years of popular music.

Ayse Djahit

Marianne Spence

In this documentary, David Suchet takes a trip on the Orient Express, the train made famous by the iconic novel from Agatha Christie. David immerses himself in the beauty of the train and talks to staff about how they keep the train running and their high quality service.

David’s journey across Europe results in an exploration of the glamour on board, as well as immersing himself in the culture of the different locations, which include Venice and Prague.

The documentary also touches upon the incident that brought about Agatha Christie’s inspiration for her novel when, in 1929, the train was stuck in snow for 10 days and the passengers and staff only survived with the assistance of the locals.

To complete his fascinating journey, David touches upon a family matter; how his family’s journey from Eastern Europe intersects with the rail route of the Orient Express.

Maria Moffatt

Weekdays 1.45pm & 5.30pm on Five Paul sides with Sam and pays a private investigator to uncover some crucial evidence against Steph. In court, Sam is suspicious of Libby’s testimony and puts pressure on Karl to reveal the truth.

Donna asks Kate to take her to the site of the crash to gain closure after losing Ringo, while Chris encourages Summer to tell Andrew how she feels about him, but will she do it?

Home and Away

Weekdays at 2.15pm & 6pm on Five Alf is delighted when his daughter Roo returns. Bianca’s decision to marry Vittorio is disrupted when she dreams about Liam and when he returns with a new girlfriend, she resolves to marry Vittorio as soon as possible.

Sid breaks the news to Marilyn that her ‘end date’ still stood and Ruby is thrilled when her driving instructor kisses her, but is heartbroken when Nicole later spots him with another girl.

Lynsey Fawcett TV & Radio Editor

36

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Culture TV & Radio

tv & radio nsr

The year is drawing to a hasty close so what better time for a quick recap on everything that Newcastle Student Radio has been busy with this semester.

There has of course been the monumental move into Park Terrace; we are now located on the ground floor. In the upheaval of the move we managed to unearth one local artist’s disturbing poster design for the station.

Words truly fail me, but for those who are intrigued come and take a look on the shelf in our office.

Another major event for NSR this semester was our involvement in BBC Radio 3’s Free Thinking Festival this November. It was a fantastic weekend where we got to meet and interview a range of lecturers at the event from Fiona Shaw to Kevin McCloud as well as producing two speech shows live at the festival, all content is up on our website: nsrlive.co.uk January 28 will see NSR’s first club night take over World Headquarters, which is the last day of exams, so what better way to celebrate than with DJ sets from three major Kitsuné linked artists: CHEW LIPS, You Love Her Cos She’s Dead and Punx Soundcheck. The night will be incredible so keep your eye on our website for ticket sales information.

The event is run in co-ordination with trendy London based PR company The Playground.

We are broadcasting up to and including the December 17 with plenty of festive inspired shows and then will be off air until February 8 2011.

If you are interested in applying for a show next semester then please send a description of what music and features you would like to include in your show to: nsr.production@ncl.ac.uk , please note that ALL current shows will also have to re-apply!

Louise Morris Station Manager

xmas radio The Official Chart With Reggie Yates Sunday 19 December 4pm, Radio 1 Once again Reggie Yates will reveal who has managed to get the coveted UK Christmas No.1 spot, in a very special edition of The Offical Chart Show.

Last year we expected X Factor winner Geordie Joe to grab the spot, as previous X Factor winners have done every year, but after a Facebook campaign, Rage Against The Machine’s re release of ‘Killing in The Name’ managed to beat him in the final hour. Could we see the same again this year? With more contenders than ever, such as Take That, Coldplay, Ellie Goulding and obviously the 2010 X Factor winner, it’s anyone’s game!

BBC Sports Personality Of The Year Sunday 19 December 7pm, BBC RADIO 5 LIVE The BBC return to crown 2010’s Sports Personality Of The Year. Live from Birmingham, John Inverdale

radio highlights

My Teenage Diary Tuesday 6.30pm, Radio 4

Steve Lamacq’s End of Year Music Quiz Friday 4pm, BBC 6 Music

Teenage diaries can either bring back happy memories of your younger years or be the most embarrassing and cringe-worthy thing you ever wrote. When I recently reread mine I realized it was most definitely the latter. It was filled withoverly dramatic woes of friendship drama, heartbreak and schoolwork (apparently I really hated English).

In a new Radio 4 show we get to hear how celebrities will react when they revisit their teenage diaries for the first time. Will they, like me, want to burn it or will they happily reminisce?

The first to read an excerpt from her teenage diary is Sheila Hancock, best known for her stage career and her most recent role as Mother Superior in Sister Act. I am sure her diary is going to be more interesting than most, considering she began her theater career at 17 and was performing on the West End by her early twenties.

The show is presented by the hilarious comic Rufus Hound (from Celebrity Juice) and promises to be the prefect antidote to cold December evenings.

The six part series begins on December 14, and will continue into the New Year, and will undoubtedly be worth listening to. Be warned, you may be tempted to revisit your old teenage diaries; can you cope with reliving those embarrassing times?

As we come to the end of 2010 (how quickly time flies) we will all be reminiscing over the highs and lows of the year.

This is also the time of year when music and news quiz shows fill the radio and TV schedules and attempt to test just how observant we have really been and what we actually remember from 2010, BBC 6 Music is no exception.

On December 17 Steve Lamacq (the Zane Lowe of the 1990s) will be hosting a live three hour interactive quiz broadcast from the famous Maida Vale studios. The quiz will be testing the musical knowledge of the studio audience and viewers at home.

The show will also feature live musical entertainment from the band Suede (the alternative rock band often cited as kick starting the Brit Pop movement), who will be performing some of their classic tracks and chatting to Steve about the year of their reformation and what they think 2011 will hold for them.

So if you think you are knowledgable about music from 2010, why not get your friends together and take part in the quiz?

If that isn’t enough of an incentive, the quiz also ends with an indie disco which promises to get you dancing and in the festive mood. I am not saying it will, that’s just what it promises.

Rosie Daly

Rosie Daly

comment Hit US show Castle is currently on its third season, which is no surprise considering how fantastic it is. It took just one episode for me to be hooked!

Season one, episode one starts with mystery writer Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) having just killed off his main character and suffering from writers’ block. Inspiration unexpectedly strikes when he is pulled in by the police to assist with their investigation after discovering that he has a copycat killer. Trying to manage a childish and disobedient Castle is tough for control freak detective Kate Beckett (Stana Katic) who finds Castle irritating. Although favouring different methods, sparks fly as their investigative styles merge together to solve the case. At the end, Castle uses his friendship with the Major to continue their partnership; he uses Beckett and their time together as inspiration for his next set of novels and claims he needs to do research.

As we continue to watch the characters, we see Beckett’s initial frustration with Castle develop into a tightly knit partnership, with hints of romance running through! The

Mix – Arcade Fire And The National Sunday 19 December 8pm BBC 6 Music Arcade Fire and The National take over evening 6 Mix this week.

They are two of the bands destined to top the critics’ list of 2010’s best albums, having both released new ones this year. Arcade Fire released The Suburbs and The National High Violet, with the latter winning Q Magazine’s Album of 2010 award last month.

Arcade Fire’s multi-instrumentalist Richard Reed-Parry, and brothers Aaron and Bryce Dessner, have been friends with The National ever since meeting on the American rock circuit.

In this special show, the guys team up to play a selection of music that has been the soundtrack to their friendship as well as choices from artists they like.

Kylie Minogue's Line Of Enquiry Saturday 25 December 3pm, Radio 2 The glittering pop princess has the world at her feet, she started out as Charlene in Neighbours before blossoming into the pop diva we’ve all come to love.

In this special Christmas show, Kate Thornton chats to Kylie and asks questions that the Radio 2 listenters, as well as presenters, are dying to know.

In this interview Kylie reveals that she’s just like everyone else and likes nothing better than getting into a comfy tracksuit after a hard day’s work.

Maria Moffatt

tweets of the week Lauren Laverne From now on, dropping the cbomb in radioland shall be known as “Doing the bad Naughtie” Stephen Fry My first time on Ryan Air. It’s very, um... that’s to say it isn’t ...

How can I best put this? Yes. Well, there you are, you see.

Peter Serafinowicz I’ve been staying out of the lime light recently, in favour of more

Lynsey Fawcett picks the radio shows to listen to while tucking into your turkey reports backstage with Clare Balding, Steve Parry and Steve Bunce, as well as speaking to many special guests.

Radio 5 cover the awards live as they happen, so even if you’re out and about or stuck in heavy snow traffic, you can still find out who will grab the coveted title.

Contenders include Olympic gold medallist Amy Williams, heptathlon champion Jessica Ennis, England cricketer Graeme Swann and for the first time in his career, jockey Tony McCoy.

chemistry between Castle and Beckett is electrifying as they can’t help but wind each other up, playfully tease each other and often become jealous when the other is attached or has a love interest. We’re always left wondering: will they or won’t they? Fillion and Katic play these roles brilliantly as they not only make their on-screen partnership believable but enjoyable to watch.

Castle has everything you could wish for in a detective drama; all the twists and turns that come with a murder investigation, classic comedy and budding romance. From the witty moments between Castle and Beckett to the intense life threatening moments of the characters, Castle is a joy to watch.

With Castle’s outrageous theories and Beckett’s cynical attitude, you can always ensure you’ll have some fun when you sit down to watch Castle. Whether you’re catching up or starting from the beginning, go and watch it now! You can catch up with the most recent episode on the internet every Monday so don’t miss it! I never do!

She lets us in on her life and in a touching serious chat she recalls her cancer battle and how she dealt with it. If you ever wanted to know the real Kylie, this is it.

Edgar Wright, Nick Frost And Simon Pegg Saturday 1 January 10am BBC 6 Music The film-making comedy trio host this special BBC 6 Music show as we welcome in 2011.

They’ve worked together on many projects, like Spaced, Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz. But now they bring their love of music to the radio to entertain us for three hours as we nurse our hangovers from NYE. Listeners can ring in and choose some tracks to help kick-start what we hope to be a cracking year. The trio will also share some tales from their years filmmaking in the US. We all know Wright, Frost and Pegg provide laughs and we will all want a bit of light-hearted fun to welcome the new year.

modern methods of lighting.

Jedward If we were babies again we would hide our nappies because they have really good insulation and would keep everyone warm in the snow.

Victoria Coren If I were an XF voter, I might be a bit cross at these manipulations.

As a professional gambler, I say: thanks Simon, for the free money.

37

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Culture TV & Radio

tv & radio xmas tv

Ellie Wilson sums up the best festive TV treats you shouldn’t miss over the holidays

100 Greatest Toys With Jonathan Ross Sunday 19th Dec 6pm, C4 Ross presents a three hour countdown of the nation’s favourite toys and games.

Inventors and makers of the games featured are on hand to comment on their creations and successes, as well as talking heads from today’s celebrities about how the toys impacted their youth.

Paul O’Grady’s Christmas Friday 24th Dec 9pm, ITV1 Paul is joined by the legendary singer Bette Midler, who will be chatting and performing. He’ll sing with Cilla Black as the pair perform ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ before she joins him on the sofa. Popular Emmerdale actor Danny Miller, boxing champion David Haye and The Soldiers will be joining in the fun too.

Ruth Jones’ Christmas Cracker Monday 20th Dec 9pm, BBC2 Ruth Jones makes her UK debut hosting her own show this Christmas. Her Christmas Cracker is the first for four specials which will be spread throughout the year, incorporating musical performances, sketches and interviews.

Special guests on this festive treat will be Ricky Gervais, Miranda Hart and Will Young.

Cinderella Saturday 25th Dec 3pm, BBC2 For me, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a vague attempt at being cultural while struggling to stay awake post-Chrismas dinner.

Birmingham Royal Ballet’s performance of Cinderalla promises to be a soothing and magical treat for all the family on Christmas afternoon.

Christmas With Gordon Wednesday 22nd & Thursday 23rd Dec 8pm, C4 These two programmes will feature the most delicious Christmas recipes, cooked by one of the world’s greatest chefs at home, with the help of his family. Gordon demonstrates his perfect Christmas and Boxing Day meals, with the help of his daughters Holly and Tilly.

boxsets

Doctor Who Christmas Special - A Christmas Carol Saturday 25th Dec 6pm, BBC1 In a new interpretation of the Dickens classic A Christmas Carol, The Doctor must save Amy and Rory from being trapped on a crashing space liner. To do this is he has to save the soul of a lonely old miser (played by Michael Gambon), but is the richest man in Sardicktown beyond redeption?

The Royle Family - Joe’s Crackers Saturday 25th Dec 9pm, BBC1 After last year’s failed Christmas dinner attempts from Denise, the party moves back to the Royle household and Barbara is snowed under after Jim is put out of action due to an unfortunate incident in the precinct. The recession has its effects as Dave and Denise worry that their gift of a fridge magnet will be overshadowed by Anthony’s offerings.

Agatha Christie’s Marple Monday 27th Dec 9pm, Wednesday 29th Dec 8pm, ITV1 Two new Marple mysteries are coming to our screens. In Secret of Chimneys Marple must solve the mystery of a missing diamond, and must solve a troubling case for an old friend of hers in The Blue Geranium.

Ad of the Year Thursday 30th Dec 9pm, ITV 1 An hour-long special that celebrates the best adverts that have been broadcast on British TV screens in 2010, and reveals some of the stories behind them. Ben Shephard narrates a countdown of the top 20 adverts as voted for by viewers.

Interviewees include opera singer Wynne Evans of Go Compare fame.

Family Christmas: Gordon Ramsay is helped by his daughters to cook a festive feast

Our writers review the boxsets you should all add to your Christmas lists

The Big Bang Theory

Lost

Desperate Housewives

House

For the nerd inside everyone!

The Big Bang Theory has become a worldwide success. Created by Chuck Lorre (Two and Half Men) the series follows the tales of four hapless physicists who may be academic elites, but struggle with ordinary social tasks. With the help of their level headed friend Penny, they experiment with many different theories, formulae and theses in order to become more socially accepted.

This is a series that is not afraid to be smart in both plot stories and writing. It has a charming cast of characters including Leonard, the love sick genius, Sheldon, the anal outsider, Howard the romantically null Casanova and Raj who lacks the ability to speak to women.

Watch and laugh at the gang in the first 63 episodes of the hilarious sitcom. When all they know is isotopes and quantum loop gravity, it takes a little education from Penny to learn how to party, how to dress and generally have fun. The series throws plenty of complicated physics jargon at you, yet it doesn’t distract from the brilliant comedy. Already receiving critical acclaim by winning a People’s Choice Award and Jim Parsons (Sheldon) picking up a best actor Emmy award. The series is fantastically innovative and is not afraid to be daring. This box set is perfect for anyone who enjoys a lovable group of characters trying their best to fit in.

Watch the entire epic story of Lost this Christmas from its phenomenal opening scene, to its magnificent final moment.

Uncover the secrets of what caused flight 815 to crash, what ultimately drew the passengers together, and re-live their mind-blowing journey as they fight to rewrite their own fate. Delve into a world of time travel, alternate realties and monsters and watch the castaways’ gripping battle for survival. Lost provides us with a unique insight into the essence of human nature itself, as we watch the survivors deal with a life of no rules, luxuries or constrictions of society.

The set is a mysterious island and immerses the viewer into the lives of main protagonists Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley and Locke throughout this rollercoaster ride of a production. The Emmy, BAFTA and Golden Globe award winning drama has won a loyal fan base and worldwide critical acclaim. Lost is far from a one dimensional action drama; simultaneously dealing with science, religion and relationships, there is a character for every viewer to relate to and call their own.

Experience a landmark in the history of entertainment with Lost: the Complete Collection, featuring every episode of all six seasons. Television and comedy just don’t get any better than this!

I didn’t start watching Desperate Housewives until summer 2009.

Big mistake! I’d just moved into a new flat and all my flatmates were watching it, I had no idea what was going on, but I was intrigued.

Luckily, two of my flatmates had all of the series on DVD and it took me only two weeks to watch them all... yes, it is as good as you’ve heard!

Now each time the new series arrives on our TV screens, I am one of those people who wait with anticipation to see what new and exciting plots they have in store; they never fail to deliver. This dark comedy revolves around the supposed domestic bliss of the housewives on Wisteria Lane. Each series brings something new; we’ve already had plots of murder, romantic rivals and entanglements as well as a child being swapped at birth. Of course, it wouldn’t be the same without the mysterious neighbours who arrive in Wisteria Lane at the beginning of every series. Who are they? What are they hiding? As the drama unfolds throughout the series we piece the final bits of the puzzle together until the horrifying truth is revealed to us in the last episode.

If you have never seen it and you love your drama, there is no doubt that this is the boxset for you! See what all the commotion is about and start your addiction!

He’s not the warmest of doctors. His bedside manner is as comforting as a bicycle seat going down a gravelly hill, and he’s more arrogant than Simon Cowell and Tom Cruise put together. However Doctor Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) is a twenty first century Sherlock Holmes, with the ability to solve the most baffling of medical mysteries that other doctors would avoid.

House is one of the most popular running dramas on television. Following the cases of House and his medical team, the series looks at the complexities of both the bizarre medical situations and House’s own personal issues. Burdened with a crippled leg, he masks his pain with an addiction to painkillers and his anti social behaviour, distancing himself from co-workers, his boss and even patients in order to solve his puzzles. Described as a ‘Maverick of the medical industry’, House continually defies the establishment, without thinking of the consequences, resulting in top notch TV drama.

House has more twists and turns than the Amazon River, witty dialogue, and intriguing character relationship developments. Hugh Laurie gives reliable, plausible performances, displaying just how versatile an actor he is. This boxset is a perfect gift for anyone whose mind enjoys a good boggling, along with a hefty dose of dark humour.

Luke Hearfield

Simon Riddlesden

Maria Moffatt

Luke Hearfield

tctv

It has been a crazy first term and if your recollection is slightly hazy then have no fear, the student TV station TCTV documented the highlights, from Freshers’ Week to political debates.

The shows, which are available to watch on the station’s own YouTube channel, start by documenting the first impression of freshers as they move into halls. The presenters ask the nervous looking first years if they’re making friends and how they’re feeling. I think we can all assume that those freshers probably aren’t so innocent anymore.

My personal favorite of the freshers videos is TCTV: Last 24 hours of Fresher’s Week which starts with a rendition of ‘Lost that Loving Feeling’. Proof that if you give anyone a megaphone they transform into the Righteous Brothers or at least think they do.

While the daytime Freshers’ Week videos are interesting, the nighttime antics are more entertaining, cue lots of swaying, drunken ‘are you recording this?’ comments. All are keen to reassure us they have met the best friends ever…

Next on the TCTV schedule is Bigg Market Banter episode one and two.

Both could give the infamous ‘Charlie bit my Finger’ a run for its money as the funniest thing on YouTube.

Especially the moment when the presenter asks a student ‘Would you ever go to Northumbria?’ To which he replies ‘Well I do, so thanks…’

TCTV’s last show is a serious segment about the Browne Report and the students opinions of it. The shows are artistically shot with upbeat soundtracks and are definitely worth a watch, if only to see if it can help you piece together some of those nights out.

After such a strong start it will be interesting to see what 2011 holds for the television station.

Rosie Daly

38

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Culture Puzzles

puzzles Across 1. Highly flammable liquid mixed with gasoline used in fire bombs (6) 4. Noise made by an animal, can often be for help (3) 5. 1996 action film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Kruger (6) 11. Popular trebles bar in Newcastle or a type of fungi (8) 12. Small island off the South coast of Australia (8) 17. A place in the quadrangle that houses history, music and marine engineering departments (9,8) 19. Small narrow boat, typically human powered (5) 20. A sibling’s daughter (5) 22. Capital of Peru (4) 23. Salient piece of equipment used in fishing (3) 24. To spoil or deface, an ancient building (4) 25. Colossal feeling of sudden fear and anxiety (5) 27. Dramatic theatre combining musical performance, commonly performed in Italian (5) 31. 1981 hit for the band Journey (4,4,9)

38. Being an equal distance apart for an infinite length (8) 39. An ordered list of times at which things are planned to occur (8) 40. An upward curve in the middle of a road (6) 41. Long flat device used in a winter sport (3) 42. Dutch brand of satellite navigation systems (6)

Down 1. Devoid of feeling (4) 2. Diversion from everyday activity that occupies time and thoughts (7) 3. Former currency of Italy (4) 6. Italian city (4) 7. Red wine-based drink popularised in Spain (7) 8. A public way for the passing of vehicles (4) 9. Long, thin, feathery scarf (3) 10. Car for hire (3) 13. Device used to de-crease clothes (4) 14. The point at which a line intersects a coordinate (9) 15. Deserted, no longer inhabited

word link Find the word that can be placed between these words to make two new words or phrases

CAR

DUMMY

DOWN

WEAR

FIRE

SETTING

SWEET

WALL

TRANSFER

CLEANER

phone in Use the clues and the keypad to find the answers to the grid using the week’s theme to help you. For example the number 3 in a clue could be D, E or F. This week’s theme is American Presidents

Across

Puzzles Editor: Andy Pitkeathley - courier.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk (9) 16. Colloquial term for small or light aircraft (4) 17. To express approval, often by clapping (7) 18. The act of hunting or shooting with firearms (7) 19. Restriction on a number or amount, limit (3) 21. Significant period of time (3) 26. Short message, paper currency (4) 28. Cut and organise components of a creation ready for presentation (4) 29. A rearrangement of letters in a word to give another word (7) 30. A completed loop or course (7) 32. Surpassing the usual, particularly in scope or size (4) 33. French for “she” (4) 34. Large container often found to store beer (3) 35. A type of display found in watches, computers and televisions (3) 36. City in Nevada (4) 37. More than one working together for the same goal (4)

word steps

sudoku

Work your way down the steps from MILK to WAKE by filling in each step with a genuine four-letter word.

As you take each step change one letter of the previous word keeping the rest of the letters in the same order.

The aim of this puzzle is to fill each box so that each column, each row and 3×3 grid contains the numbers 1-9 just once.

MILK

WAKE Down

1. 5366339 2. 64966 4. 2546866 3. 5462656 6. 732426 5. 62262 7. 47268

The clues below will help but they may not correspond to the order of the steps.

Clues • First name of Tyson • Measure of distance • Create or invent

Last week’s Sudoku answers

andy’s number cruncher Keep your brain in shape by trying to complete these sums as fast as you can without using a calculator

+1

59

Divide Multiply Square by 6 by 1/2 this

MEDIUM

59 Last week’s phone in answers

logical

Double this

HARD

59

+5

-1

Divide Divide by 8 by 0.5 Cube this

=

Cube Divide 75% of 37.5% Square Times by 33 this of this root root by 1/8

=

+2

25% of this

+6

What does this say?

logic problem

Square 1/3 of this root

=

Square root

A traveller comes to a fork in the road and doesn’t know which path to take to reach his destination. There are two men at the fork, one of whom always tells the truth while the other one always lies. He doesn’t know which is which. He may ask one man one question to help find his way.

What one question should he ask, and to which man?

answers Word Steps: Milk, Mile, Mike, Make, Wake Number Cruncher: Easy = 6, Medium =8, Hard = 99 Word Link: Crash, Under, Place, Corn, Window Last week’s Logic Problem: The bookworm travelled sixteen inches.

If you stack the books numerically by volume number then the front cover of one would be on the right and the back volume of 10 would be on the left.

Last week’s Logical: Figure it out

EASY

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

39

IntraHurricanes Mural Round-up feel > Sport, the pages Loko-motion 40-41 SportsEditors: Editors: Paul Christian, Gavin Tom James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Sports Paul Christian, JamieJamie Gavin and Tomand James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

> Intra Mural Football, page 40-41

Sports Editors: Jono Taylor, Wills Robinson and Kat Bannon - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

A league of impatient businessmen

Sports Editor Jono Taylor reports on the growing demand for instant success within football

Chris Hughton’s controversial dismissal from his post as Newcastle United manager last week epitomised everything that is wrong with the game - the sport has become a financial war of attrition Last week saw the first managerial casualty of the 2010/11 Premier League campaign, and it was one that epitomised everything that is wrong with the beautiful game. Despite getting Newcastle promoted from the Championship with an impressive 102 points last season, as well as masterminding victories at the Emirates, Goodison Park and a 5-1 demolition of rivals Sunderland this campaign, Chris Hughton was controversially sacked by chairman Mike Ashley seven days ago; a decision that was nothing short of baffling.

According to Ashley, Newcastle United, who Hughton had led to 12th in the Premier League before being shown out of the seemingly revolving door of St James Park, needs “an individual with more managerial experience” to “take the club forward”.

The tenuous statement infuriated the Geordie faithful, who now appear to have found their festive pantomime villain this Christmas.

The way Hughton was treated at Newcastle is nothing short of appalling. Moreover, it showed blatant disrespect and ruthlessness to a true gentleman of the game. Hughton may not have been the most outspoken manager, but he conducted both himself and his team with pro-

fessionalism and dignity.

After taking charge of training last Monday morning, Hughton was randomly called into a meeting with Ashley early afternoon, and unceremoniously relieved of his duties by 2pm. Neither Hughton nor the players knew what was about to unfold.

Both Kevin Nolan and Andy Carroll publically expressed their dismay at the decision, while Sol Campbell warned that the decision would inevitably have an adverse effect on the team’s morale. The criticism of Ashley’s conduct towards Hughton extends beyond the world of football, with Lord Sugar recently telling the BBC that Ashley treated Hughton “very badly”.

After Hughton had cleared his desk and made his way out of St James Park for the final time, I managed to catch up with the 51-year old last week, who despite showing clear disappointment with Ashley’s callous judgement, spoke with grace and pride upon his experience at the club.

“The fans have been absolutely fantastic throughout my time here.

All I can say is that it has been an absolute pleasure to work at such a magnificent club, and I wish the club all the best in the future.”

The decision to axe Hughton was a ludicrous one - his winning percent-

age at the club’s helm throughout his 14 month tenure was an extraordinary 56 per cent, and despite being widely tipped for the drop this season, Hughton led largely the same side that was relegated in May 2009 to mid-table safety.

The overwhelming fact is that football has become a ruthless game, run by businessmen who solely seek personal profit. With the amount of money now pumped into the game, football is the most lucrative and profitable business in the world, and the demand for immediate success has now intensified to an inconceivable level.

Mike Ashley sacked Chris Hughton when the club were sitting 12th in the league. For a club that has endured such a turbulent recent history, most fans throughout the country would concur that avoiding relegation would be a terrific season for the North East club. It is therefore baffling what Ashley’s expectations are.

After publically tightening the purse strings in the summer, it seems that the Newcastle hierarchy wanted the side to be pushing in the upper echelons of the division with the same side that got relegated only a season earlier.

The fundamental truth is that businessmen like Ashley, who have

bought football clubs solely to make profit and then jump ship, know nothing about the game, and rather, are causing more damage than first perceived. Ashley’s handling of Hughton, if done in any other area of profession, would not be acceptable - it is the equivalent of a shop manager calling the newly-awarded ‘Employee of the Month’ into his office, and firing them on the grounds that they will be unable to maintain their level of performance throughout the year.

The beautiful game has shown itself to have a truly ugly side. You can now count on one hand the number of Premier League managers that have been allowed both the time and resources to build and stabilise their football clubs for the long-term. ‘Long-term’ can no longer be found in the game’s dictionary - it has been replaced by the unrealistic and unattainable demand for instant success.

With the recent foreign investment pumped into Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United, amongst others, the Premier League has now evolved into a financial war of attrition. The valuation of even the most mediocre players has rocketed, and it shows no sign of stopping. It is so easy to roll off the tongue - “Torres is going to Chel-

sea for £50 million.” £50 million I hear you say? It is an astronomical amount of money that could bring a Third World country out of poverty.

Despite the financial plight that we all face, football and its businessmen continue on oblivious, both disinterested and ignorant to the consequences of their actions.

Football used to be the game of the working class. Even the hardworking can no longer afford to take their kids out to a football match.

With ticket prices exceeding £50 at a number of stadiums throughout the league, it is important to take a step back and ask ‘is it worth it?’

Last week’s sacking of Chris Hughton epitomised everything that is wrong with the game. A true gentleman who has put in so much time and effort into his job over the last 14 months can just be dismissed at the click of a chairman’s fingers, on any grounds that they see fit. The demand for instant success is something that will never leave the game, and will continue to tarnish the image of football for generations.

I sincerely hope that Mike Ashley and his fellow businessmen are enjoying themselves in this financial merry-go-round, at the expense of the innocence and integrity of the game that we all used to love and cherish.

40

Sport Intra Mural football mid-season review

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Who’s top of the table for New Year? Mid-

Despite the weather disrupting the last few weeks of play, The Courier gives an overview of Wednesday Football Division 1 Dan Robinson Not unlike our nation’s very own Premier League, Intra Mural’s top tier has been a mixed bag in which anyone can beat anyone. Of course, another very English element has played its due part, with the weather offering its very best efforts to interrupt and prevent a clear reading of the table as Christmas approaches.

Dyslexic sit top of the pile after dishing out a 6-1 hammering over

Castle Leazes in their last match, but with two defeats already served up, their position looks somewhat in doubt.

Co-manager Salisu Mohammed, however, believes that his side has what it takes to strip away the Medics (formerly Garnett) and sitting just below them despite playing only two games, with talisman Laurence Jackson hitting 12 goals already this term.

He said: “We’ve removed Dyslexic’s connotation with mediocrity and have shown we can be the heavyweights in this division.

“We’re set to welcome back IntraMural veteran Darren Harbinson from injury, and with the winter backlog of fixtures we can push on and take this league with both hands.”

After a stuttering start, where they looked “more like Derby County ’08 than Barca 2010”, according to vice-captain Nick Moss, Barca-LawNa look in good form to recapture the glory days of old after winning six in six across the Wednesday and Saturday fixtures. Moss added: “With star signing Jamie Hurworth having scored more goals than Paul

Wadhams has girls, we’re more distant than ever from our early season goal drought.”

Castle Leazes, meanwhile, have seen a reversal of fortunes recently, and manager Tom Pearson is looking wearily below rather than above after early hopes for a title surge.

He commented: “After a good start our form has dipped off a lot and we are struggling to play with fluency.

Especially after some heavy defeats, we are hoping that this winter break will have been good for us so we can start afresh and look to secure a mid-table slot”.

The newly promoted teams have endured mixed prosperity this season. While Boroussia Forsythe look set to go straight back down with no points and a minus 17 goal difference, Pearson has tipped Henderson Hall for the title.

With most of the league in for a shot at the championship, perhaps the Medics’ grip will finally be loosened on the biggest trophy in Intra Mural football. In which direction it is going is uncertain, but it promises to be an exciting ride when 2011 arrives.

Wednesday Football Division 2 Harry Slavin As we reach the halfway point in Intra Mural football this season, Division Two has already proved itself as the most exciting and unpredictable league within the Intra Mural competition.

As it currently stands there are six teams out of the seven in the division who can realistically harbour hopes of promotion with five teams sitting on seven points and the Medics Seconds just a point behind.

Of the five teams on seven points, it was Crayola who set the early pace, winning their first two games in style before a draw and a loss allowed the rest of the pack to catch up.

Lokomotiv and The Hurricanes, the two teams who lost their position in the First Division last year, have both made promising starts to their campaign for an instant return, although it has not been as easy as the pair would have hoped. Lokomotiv have struggled for consistency but happily sit top of the pile on goal difference, while The Hurricanes have just about managed to turn around a disastrous start to the season which saw them succumb to defeat in their first two matches.

Ecosoccer and Aftermath make up the five teams who sit on seven points, both proving that they are more than capable of going toe-totoe with the two demoted giants as both have already claimed three points from one of the pair.

Aftermath captain Chris Haywood however appeared supremely confident: “We’ve definitely got one of the best teams in the league. Division Two is so open, so I’m still very optimistic about our promotion chances”.

Despite being a point off the pace sitting in sixth position, the Medics Seconds have a great to deal to be confident about as they are the only team left in the division who can boast an unbeaten record having picked up one win and three hard fought draws.

Whilst almost all the sides in the division prepare for a promotion push in the second half of the season, spare a thought for the one team that most definitely is not. Olympic Mayonnaise have failed to pick up a single point so far, their keeper having endured the horrid task of collecting the ball out of his net no less than twenty times in only four games. It looks safe to say that it’s a one horse race for finishing bottom of the table and Olympic have made a fine start in a bid to capture that position.

While the break will serve as a

The Hurricanes are keen to maintain their push back to Division One, fighting off strong competition from the likes of Lokomotiv and Crayola above them nuisance to some teams looking to far to take all three points off the far, as well as having the leakiest de- league seem to be shaping up to gather momentum, others see it as leaders, and I’m sure will be mount- fence. However, they will no doubt be the three that will also occupy an opportunity to rest up and pre- ing a title charge of their own come give 100 per cent next term in order those positions at the end of the seapare for the long push of next term. springtime. to turn their season around, and son. Bayern Music, Happy Feet and One such man is Andrew Selby, The brilliantly named AR U Shav- have the consolation of not being Barca Juniors are picking up points captain of the Hurricanes, who be- ing a Laugh are the reigning cham- bottom. That dubious honour goes and showing they do have the abillieves the break will serve his side pions, and are currently hot on the to Jesmondino who, despite manag- ity to produce performances which well for the sole purpose that it “has Magic’s heels in third, and are the ing two draws, have been deducted can compete with the others in the just given time to test our tactics on only unbeaten team left in the di- three points after fielding an ineligi- league, but they are failing to comthe new Football Manager”. Wheth- vision, with just the solitary goal ble player. Nevertheless, they have pletely reach their level. er his team can actually emulate the conceded. A superb 7-1 thrashing also looked good in the cup, and Happy Feet in their second year in success he has bestowed in his be- of Olympic Mayonnaise in the cup caused a huge upset in knocking this division have not been able to loved Huddersfield town, we will prove that they have the ability of out First Division strugglers Borus- improve on the unsuccessful season have to wait and see. turning the draws into wins, with sia Forsyth. they suffered last year. They find captain Greg Holmes hoping to themselves at the wrong end of the Wednesday Football Division 4 Wednesday Football Division 3 achieve a second consecutive divitable, and will have to hope for a sion triumph. post-Christmas improvement next Jimmy Booker “Solid, but unspectacular” is how Ed Johnson semester. fourth place Boca Seniors manager The season so far in Division Four Intra Mural Division Three has so Stephen McNeill has described their Newcastle University’s Intra Mu- has certainly been unpredictable, far proven to be a closely fought season so far, but they have only ral set-up has thrown up a mixed proving that it is no push over, and league, with competitiveness, cup been defeated once, which I’m sure bag of teams in this year’s Division remains fiercely competitive. With shocks and controversy defining the will provide a very solid foundation Four, guaranteeing the varied start results such as Ian FC beating the division. for them to push on next term. to the season will continue after the current cup holders The Hurricanes FC Molesok lead the way at this Real Mechanical are another team Christmas break. in the first round last month, a tight moment in time, currently boasting who boast a respectable start to the Roman Villa, a second-year vet- second half of the season is a certhe most fruitful forward line and campaign. Despite lying in fifth eran of the league, has started as tainty once the Christmas break is best goal difference overall in the place overall, they have a game in the early pace setters, winning four over. league. Skipper Thomas Walgate hand of teams above them, and, like out of four and hence brushing past has praised their solid start and is Boca, have only tasted defeat once, all opposition in the league. MeanWeb Exclusive confident of pushing for glory at the as well as flying into the next round while league newcomers Beavers end of the season. of the cup with a 6-0 demolition of Beavers Beavers, Ian FC, and Never For full Intra Mural match Brown Magic lie in second place Bayern Music.

Been Athletic have also made solid reports, go to www. by a single point and with a game Politic Thistle have fared less well, starts by netting two wins apiece. in hand. They are the only team so having failed to obtain a point thus The bottom three teams in the thecourieronline.co.uk

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

Intra Mural mid-season review

41

Sport

season review of Intra Mural sport

football, hockey, netball and newly established basketball in anticipation for next semester Men’s Rugby Union Dan Robinson Depending on current form, the winter break can be a respite or a hindrance. For Larrikins it is most definitely the latter. Having chalked up five wins in six matches, their rhythm which has established them as genuine title contenders has certainly been interrupted.

Captain Brad Cliff has been pleased with his side’s performances, as the campaign reaches its half-way point.

He said: “So far this season, we feel we have played very well.

“I hope that, when the weather improves, we can continue our good form and challenge for the league and hopefully put together a good cup run as well.

“Key to our success this year has been the dominance of the pack in many games, in particular second rows Al Freeland and James Gadbury. The kicking of flanker James Hamilton has also proven to be important in victories this year.”

Meanwhile, a few close defeats have dented Armstrong’s hopes for a high-placed finish. Captain Ben White-Hamilton, however, remains determined for a strong end to the season.

He said, “This season has been a bit disappointing so far, but we’re still doing reasonably well and to finish in the top three would be a good achievement. We’ll have a few key players back by then so we should hopefully do well.”

The season has also been a struggle so far for the Agrics, with captain Callum Stark pointing to the officials as a major factor in their poor early season form.

“We feel we haven’t performed to the best of our ability with some

key decisions going against us in big games.

“For us there is no ‘I’ in team and everyone pulls their own weight.

Having said this, Rob “the dog” Gribble has been a force to be reckoned with at Number 8”.

While the Agric Seconds look set to battle it out with the Uni Freshers and Law Blacks to avoid a rock-bottom finish, the title race promises to be a thrilling ride for the rest of the season with three teams all in with a solid chance.

Larrikins have joined the usual suspects, champions Cheeky Ladies and cup holders Titans, in leading the hunt for the Intra Mural crown, with the latter no doubt favourites with a 100 per cent record in this campaign and a 149 goal difference to boot. But with all three still to play each other, and an ambitious chasing pack hot on their heels, the 2010-

11 rugby season is far from over.

Mixed Hockey Kat Bannon Group A With the arctic temperatures preventing play for the past two weeks, there have only been three games apiece for each of the six teams. Currently sitting top of the league due to goal difference is the Law School with six points, claimed from Mojo and MLS. However, with only three points between them and the bottom of the table sides MLS and Agrics, top spot looks to be within any team’s reach.

Despite holding fort at sixth position, captain of MLS Laura Smith is keeping positive: “Despite being last in Group A, I’m

Intra Mural league tables Football

Hockey

Netball

Wednesday Division One

Group A

Tuesday 1pm-2pm

Dyslexic Untied Henderson Hall A Medics 1sts Barca-Law-Na Castle Leazes Real Politique Borussia Forsythe

P 5 4 2 3 5 3 4

W 3 3 2 2 2 1 0

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 2 1 0 1 3 2 4

F 16 6 10 13 5 5 7

A 9 3 1 6 14 5 24

Pts 9 9 6 6 6 3 0

F 11 10 8 13 10 7 2

A 5 6 5 11 11 3 20

Pts 7 7 7 7 7 6 0

F 12 3 5 11 6 5 4

A 7 1 1 11 6 13 7

Pts 10 9 8 6 5 0 -1

F 20 13 11 9 13 6 8

A 7 10 7 6 22 11 17

Pts 12 8 7 7 4 2 1

Wednesday Division Two Lokomotiv Crayola Ecosoccer The Hurricanes Aftermath Medics 2nds O. Mayonnaise

P 4 4 4 5 5 4 4

W 2 2 2 2 2 1 0

D 1 1 1 1 1 3 0

L 1 1 1 2 2 0 4

P 5 4 4 5 4 4 4

W 3 3 2 1 1 0 0

D 1 0 2 3 2 0 2

L 1 1 0 1 1 4 2

Wednesday Division Four Roman Villa FC Beavers Ian FC Never Been Ath. Bayern Music Happy Feet Barca Juniors

P 4 5 4 4 5 4 4

W 4 2 2 2 1 0 0

D 0 2 1 1 1 2 1

L 0 1 1 1 3 2 3

P 3 3 3 3 3 3

W 2 2 2 1 1 1

D 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 1 1 1 2 2 2

F 6 4 4 5 4 4

A 4 3 3 5 5 7

Pts 6 6 6 3 3 3

Group B

Wednesday Division Three FC Molesok Brown Magic FC AR U Shavin A Boca Seniors Real Mechanical Politic Thistle Jesmondino

Law School NUSSC The Mighty Ducks Mojo HC Agrics MLS Hockey

Larrikins The Green Sticks Red Chester HC Toon Raiders Oral Specialists Pink Panthers Biosci H. Legends

Agrics NUSSC Mansoc B Mansoc Biology Engsoc Com.Honours Soc Lawyers Netball

P 8 7 7 7 7 6 8 6

W 7 6 5 4 3 1 1 0

D 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 1 1 3 4 5 7 6

Pts 30 24 22 16 12 4 4 0

Saturday 10am-11am P 2 3 3 2 2 3 3

W 2 2 1 1 1 1 0

D 0 0 1 1 0 0 0

L 0 1 1 0 1 2 3

F 7 6 8 2 2 2 0

Pts 6 6 4 4 3 3 0

Toothfairies Agrics Time Team Mansoc NUSSC Cougars The History Girls Senoritas

P 7 7 7 7 3 7 4 6

W 6 5 3 2 3 2 0 0

D 1 1 1 2 0 1 0 0

L 0 1 3 3 0 4 4 6

Pts 26 22 14 12 12 10 0 0

W 6 5 5 2 3 3 1 1 1 0 0

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 1 1 4 2 2 4 3 2 3 4

Pts 21 18 18 13 10 9 6 5 3 2 1

Goeballs Northern Monkeys Medics DOCS Larrikins NWR Netball The Accravals

P 7 7 8 8 6 7 8 7

W 6 6 4 3 3 2 2 1

D 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 0

Group B Group B definitely proves the most exciting of the two with a more varied share of the spoils. The undefeated Larrikins currently narrowly claim the top spot over The Green Sticks by a single point, although if the words of captain Christopher Childs are anything to go by they don’t feel their position is too uncertain: “The pace at which the current team plays is breathtaking and at times majestic. Upfront Kate Crawford is clinical and decisive whilst Nick Macann provides the artistry in midfield. A self-confessed maverick, Pridge is capable of outlandish feats of brilliance. Larrikins are undoubtedly league contenders.”

Considering their position at bottom of the league with no points the rather ironically named Biosci Hockey Legends have suffered three 2-0 defeats at the hands of The Pink Panthers, The Green Sticks and Toon Raiders. Although Red Chester HC boast the greatest goal difference, there is only one point between their third position and The Pink Panthers in sixth.

Toon Raiders and Oral Specialists also have a game in hand so on four and three points apiece this could cause some serious upset come 2011 and an improved climate.

Despite the belief that the netball Intra Mural league is a bit of a ‘friendly throw about,’ the teams taking part this semester actually pivoted upon that suggestion, as they’ve displayed some serious fighting spirit.

Netball

Saturday 11am-12pm

Rugby Union P Titans 6 Larrikins 6 Cheeky Ladies 6 Engines 6 Southern Fairies 5 Agric 1s 5 Armstrong 5 Medics 4 Law Blacks 3 Uni Freshers 3 Agric 2s 5

A 4 5 3 0 2 7 6

still optimistic we can work our way up the league after the New Year.

We have a strong team with a good selection of players from first year to fourth year. The team works well together, but we just have to make our attacks more vicious to score more goals!”

Typical of the unpredictable nature of Intra Mural sport, MLS caused upset back in November by claiming their three points from then top of the league The Mighty Ducks in a late 1-0 victory.

Also claiming six points but falling behind on goal difference lies NUSSC and The Mighty Ducks in second and third position. The confidence of Sam Harris-Wright, captain of NUSSC, is more than apparent: “Having narrowly lost the final last season, we feel we can do equally as well if not better ourselves this time around. Along with some outstanding new talent from our new goal keeper Drew Johnston and fresher James Jordan we feel finishing within the top three of our league and making the final is easily achievable.”

L 0 1 3 5 3 4 5 6

Pts 26 24 18 12 12 10 10 4

Jessica Roberson This semester 24 teams have been established within the University, demanding two separate leagues to accommodate them. Despite varying levels of ability, there is no doubt that every team wants to secure a place as close to the top of their table as possible.

The Saturday league sees the Goeballs and the Toothfairies taking the lead in their separate divisions with an even 26 points each. However, the Goeballs need to keep it up next

semester as the cheeky Northern Monkeys are hanging around very close behind them with just two points difference.

Meanwhile in the Tuesday division the Agrics take the top spot with an impressive 30 points, crowning them champions of both the Saturday and Tuesday leagues.

Nevertheless, it’s still all to play for next semester with fixtures beginning again after exams, and with a fresh boost of energy, top of the table could be anyone’s taking. If the match between the Agrics and the Lawyers in the Tuesday league was any reflection, then the reigning champs’ near loss at the hands of the team bringing up the rear on the leader board shows that no one can get too comfortable.

Regardless of a confident start to the teams finishing the semester with the most points, there’s no doubt that other squads are proving a threatening presence as they slowly move up the table. The Medics in the Saturday 11am-12pm league are hot on the heels of the frontrunners in their division. They displayed potential to become the dark horse of their league with a surprising result in which they drew 9-9 with the current leaders, the Goeballs. It looks like things are going to heat up following Christmas after all.

Basketball Jimmy Booker A new competition has emerged this year in the form of Intra Mural Sunday Basketball, with five teams fighting for the honour of being crowned champions of this pioneering tournament.

Current leaders Team 2 are the only team to boast of a 100 per cent undefeated record, with three classy wins out of three. As top points scorers as well, they have quickly established themselves as a force to be reckoned with, and the team that everybody has to beat.

Second placed Caracals boast the best goal difference within the league, largely down to a 60-23 thrashing of Hoops I Did it Again.

An additional, albeit narrow, three point victory over Boomshakalaka has given them a very good foundation for the rest of the season, but they succumbed to the power of Team 2 in their only defeat of the campaign thus far.

Centurions sit in the comfort of mid-table, with a win and a loss to their name. Skipper Roger Hamilton-Martin believes their chances of title glory are good, and they boast the league’s stand-out player in guard Nikos Vasiliadis, but has also acknowledged that they will need to beat Team 2 in order to stand any chance of this.

Tied at the bottom are the aforementioned Boomshakalaka and Hoops I Did it Again. Despite their inventive team names, neither side have registered a victory so far this season, so it will be interesting to see the outcome when these teams finally meet.

However, both teams have shown potential, with both of Boomshakalaka’s defeats being by narrow margins, and Hoops I Did it Again feeling that they are really starting to come together as a team, and are both adamant they will improve on their slow start next semester.

42

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Sport BUCS

Charities benefit from Stan Calvert 09/10 wash-out B.CARLIN

Siobhan McTernan In the run up to the most widely anticipated university sports competition in the North East, it is natural to look back over previous years to view the record of both institutions in the Stan Calvert Cup. However, when reviewing the 09/10 competition we see a huge victory for Newcastle alongside the disappointment of not having a Rugby League and Union finale.

There were many disappointed fans last year, when they could not see the showpiece fixture of the monumental event.

After the rugby fixtures were cancelled due to waterlogged pitches, the organising committee consisting of Newcastle and Northumbria University members decided not to refund programme prices. Instead they gave the money raised from programme sales to the charities that had been unable to collect due to the cancellation.

This summer, Athletic Union Officer, Charley Wright, was proud to present cheques for £438 to the two Athletic Union nominated charities of the competition, the Myles Robinson Memorial Trust and Right to Play. He said of the donations, “I’m so happy to be able to donate this money to such deserving charities.

Although the event earlier this year was a washout, good has come from it with these donations and we look forward to welcoming vol-

unteers from both charities to the 10/11 event.”

Myles Robinson was a dedicated member of the AU, playing regularly with the Water Polo team to a high standard, also playing golf and skiing when possible. Myles tragically passed away in an Alpine ski resort last Christmas after apparently losing his way on the way back to his accommodation. The charity set up in his name puts its donations towards teaching children in Africa about sport and its values. Visit www.mylesrobinson. co.uk to donate.

Right to Play is an international humanitarian and development organisation currently working within 23 different countries, mainly in Africa and Eastern Europe.

The charity uses the transformative power of sport and play to build vital skills and improve the lives of children driving social change in communities affected by war, poverty and disease.

If you are in a sports club or simply someone who would like to get involved then please get in touch with Jay Turner at j.e.k.turner@ncl. ac.uk. For more information on the charity please visit www.righttoplay.co.uk.

Representatives from the Myles Robinson Memorial Trust and Right to Play will both be collecting at this year’s Stan Calvert competition finale at Gateshead International Stadium when the event takes place in March next year.

After last year’s Stan Calvert wash-out, all of the money raised from Gateshead programme sales has been donated to charity

Boat Club triumphs over North and South Andrew Curry The past two weeks have seen great success for NUBC. Whilst most other sports have been huddled indoors due to the dusting of snow on the ground, the Boat Club have been training in earnest to keep themselves top of the game.

Whilst even they admit it has been a little chilly of late, nothing warms the soul like two BUCS gold medals and a trouncing of both UL and Durham.

First up, on November 27 the annual Rutherford Head was held in our own backyard in Newburn.

Usually this race is reserved to an old fashioned slugging match between us and Durham, with neither team fielding their strongest VIIIs, preferring to use this race as a trial match to see who is the fastest and who is the nastiest.

Not so this year. Our ‘friends’ from the University of London decided that they’d like a taste of Northern steel and so rocked up with three powerful VIIIs ready to take the Tyne by storm.

Not wishing to be out done on home turf, we decided to stack our crews to the max and try to field some dangerous combinations.

The flu virus and a couple of late injuries meant we were far from fully prepared, but we still felt comfortable of doing some serious damage.

The first VIII, stroked by Murray Wilkojc and with legendary NUBC alumni and Boat race Winner, Henry Pelly, powered down the course and edged both their purple clad rivals, UL and Durham into second and third. A strong victory and a powerful marker to lay down for the coming season. Both UL and

Durham are considered some of our top competition and to beat them so convincingly with such little preparation was pleasing.

The Second and Lightweight VIIIs were also racing strongly, engaged in their own private battle down the course. However a late crash between the two saw two serious injuries and meant that neither was able to record their true times. Still, strength in depth is apparent and other universities will beware these crews, come the proper racing in March.

The following Wednesday saw the annual North East Indoor rowing competition, where competitors from all over the county race over 2k on the rowing machine, in what is generally considered to be the toughest fitness test in the sport.

Although the event was cancelled, all it meant was they didn't have to trek down to Durham to show the world what they were made of.

Instead we elected to do it in the warmth and comfort of our own gym.

All of the squad impressed with a number of Personal Bests and some record-breaking times. Nicholas Buckle, Ben Gourlay and James Dickinson impressed for the Lightweights and George Rossiter and Will Perham did the Heavyweights proud.

Sam Arnot’s 6.01 and Rebecca Sparling’s 7.14 also saw them take gold in both the Heavyweight men’s and Lightweight women’s events respectively, in convincing fashion. These are two seriously impressive results and show promise for an outstanding results at the GB trials next December. Watch this space.

THE COURIER Monday December 13 2010

43

BUCS Sport

NUWPC close in on semis Netball round-up Water Polo Stuart MacManus

Newcastle 1sts Lancaster 1sts

20 1

Newcastle 1sts Bradford 1sts

10 11

Newcastle played host to a round robin tournament, in order for their final two BUCS games to be played.

First they would tackle Lancaster and then Bradford, with a win in both guaranteeing automatic promotion next year and a path to the BUCS semi finals in February.

Newcastle dictated the fixture from the off, with Alex Smith capitalising on a ‘power play situation’ early on. Goals were aplenty and the home side finished the first quarter 7-0 up.

The home side made it 10 before the visitors hit back with their only goal of the match. Double third quarter goals from Terry Clarke and fresher Mike Grantham took the lead to 16.

Newcastle sealed the match in

emphatic style from a lofted long ball from Grantham, leaving Stuart MacManus to tap in, finishing the game 20-1!

Confidence was high as the home side lined up to play Bradford in their second BUCS game of the day.

This was always going to be the toughest game of the group stage and would probably be the decider, to see who would gain promotion next season.

McManus and Smith got the scoring off the mark, whilst Bradford’s Maltese international got one back, leaving the score 2-1 going into the second quarter.

The Men’s Water Polo team still top their league table despite their narrow defeat to Bradford two weeks ago

Newcastle dealt with the opposition’s target man well, keeping the Bradford goal tally only to four,

while managing to bag three goals of their own.

With the score at 5-4 as half time arrived, it was set to be a hard fought second half. A hat-trick from MacManus summed his form in the game and a goal for Sam Arnot trumped the three scored by the visitors.

Newcastle were two goals up going into the final quarter and the pressure was constantly mounting.

They continued to double mark the visitors’ hit man exceptionally, but weren’t able to stop Bradford scoring three to Newcastle’s one, leaving it 10-10, with just minutes remaining on the clock.

A late sin bin for the home side was taken advantage of by Bradford, as they went on to score a late winner.

Although the Royals were bitterly disappointed with the final result, Newcastle managed to secure second place in their first round group and could still top the table, which would lead to promotion into the top tier.

Altogether, two solid wins and a close fought defeat will see Newcastle progress to the BUCS semi finals in February.

Leeds hopes Squashed Men’s Squash

Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

3 1

Tom Oldfield at the Sports Centre It was a cold day on the courts at Richardson Road on a snowy December day, as the Men’s Squash Firsts took on Leeds Firsts. The cold weather outside meant freezing conditions on the courts, with several of the players opting to wear thermals as their normal shorts didn’t prove to be sufficient protection against the elements.

With Leeds only turning up with four players instead of the standard five, Andy Thomas, Newcastle’s number five seed was given a well deserved rest. First on was the number four seed Marc Pass who quickly disposed of his opponent in clinical fashion, with a comfortable 3-0 victory. Next up, Colin Wilson, playing in his Robin Hood sweat shirt, seemed disheartened by the quality of squash that was possible on such cold courts. He only dropped one game throughout the match through a lack of concentration. The captain, after he put the solitary lost game behind him, then quickly disposed of his veteran opponent 3-1. Tom Oldfield, next on

court, was still stiff from the previous night’s Premier League’s fixture. He played with a similarly easy style dispersing of his opponent 3-1 as well. Finally the eccentric, pink headband wearing, University number one seed, George Marley, came up against stiff opposition with a player, who relished the cold courts, hitting nicks from all over. Unfortunately George lost 3-2. All in all, it was another impressive performance from the invincible Men’s Firsts. It seems a shame that most of the squad won’t be around to witness premier league action, which is where the men are destined to play.

Blades undone by Lancaster Men’s Fencing

Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

116 123

James Kinnear at the Sports Centre Having visited Wetherby Services more times than the people who actually work there, due to the unrelenting onslaught of away matches, Newcastle Blades Men’s Firsts were understandably looking forward to a home match against their old rivals Lancaster.

The previous fixture, in deepest darkest Lancashire, was a difficult match that Newcastle lost. With this in mind the Men’s Firsts strode into Multi-Purpose Room A full of tenacity and purpose. Lancaster turned up having braved the icy death trap known as the A686 and it was decided between captains that Sabre would be the first weapon, followed by Foil and Epee.

As usual Sabre started well for

the Blades, with captain Patrick Navein sweeping aside his opponent effortlessly with a 5-0 victory, Rob Walker added to the total, with an impressive performance that combined fantastic bladework with undeniable grace. Jimmy Mullen continued the positive start with the weapon, finishing with a score of 44-33 in Newcastle’s favour with a final 5-1 victory in the final bout for Patrick “Lady Killer” Navein.

Foil was up next and something that the Blades approached with an air of apprehension, due to their weakness in this category. This was made evident by the fact that after three bouts the score was 15-4 to Lancaster. James Kinnear however began a resurgence that brought Newcastle back to 15-20 to Lancaster, with Rob Walker bringing the score even to 25-25. Chris McAleer then emerged on piste as a dominant force to continue the fast paced and even foil matches. The weapon was to end 40-45 to Lancaster after a comeback from their impressive German foilist.

Finally, Epee was the last weapon to be contested and one in which Newcastle had to get to 38 in order to win, yet this was not to be.

After valiant efforts by the squad, with Rob Walker bringing some specially honed Sabre skills to the weapon; along with an incredibly impressive single fight back from Dan Grant (hot off the back of his win at the Royal Navy Individual Championships), the weapon eventually fell 31-45 to Lancaster and therefore the match finished 116123 to the opposition.

The close match was yet another that has become hallmarks of the league this year, and Newcastle will be looking to reflect on the positives rather than the result. Newcastle Blades Women’s Firsts team, however, recorded an incredible victory of 135-45 over Leeds Met Firsts at home, the squad led by Captain Holli Prescott, Jennie Tillot, Laura Mason and Lisa Schiller was in unstoppable form and continued their undefeated season as their push for promotion continues.

who caught some cracking interceptions. The girls have floated like angels through yet another round of the cup.

Harriet Needham at the Sports Centre

Newcastle 1sts Durham 1sts

22 52

Newcastle 3rds York 2nds

48 36

There was even more heartache for the Royals this week. The game started positively with some excellent shooting from Laura Harvey at goal shooter and Hannah Swainson at goal attack, and for the first ten minutes, the girls matched their opponents goal for goal. The visitors began to pull away with a goal shooter who could shoot from anywhere, even with constant pressure from Newcastle’s Sally Burden.

Mia Archer sparkled in defence with countless interceptions and real drive all down the court, earning herself a well-deserved ‘player of the match’. The team have improved so much this season with an outstanding performance against the Poly last week. With Stan Calvert postponed next week, there is now even more for the girls to improve.

There was a freezing atmosphere for the girls to play in, with it being even colder than the weather outside. It was a real struggle for the match to get going in such conditions, but the Royals began to improve as the game went on, with great team work all down court and some lovely play by the defensive unit. Anna Rosenberg, at goal attack, shot superbly against a tight defence and earned herself player of the match. Laura Wilson at goal shooter again shot perfectly and converted numerous amounts of tough goals. The match really began to pick up in the second half as the girls started to properly warm up. It was a good, solid performance from the girls, with victory seeing them through to the next round of the cup.

Newcastle 2nds Sheffield 3rds

Newcastle 4ths Sheffield 1sts

45 36

The girls cup tie against Sheffield proved to be a difficult game from start to finish, with both teams scoring on each others’ centres and the home side never letting the seconds pull away. The opposition were frosty from the first whistle, but it did not dishearten the girls who pulled away in the fourth quarter, gaining the win they truly deserved. The opposition voted Anna Dickinson at goal attack as the star player for the day, who, along with goal shooter Emma Richardson, scored fantastic goals against a tall Sheffield defence. The opposite shooters struggled to deal with the presence of Charlotte Dodsworth at goal keeper and Sassa Hamilton,

29 53

It was a strong start for the fourths this week and lots of pressure being applied to the opposition by everyone with great communication by the whole team. Although Freya Cromarty at goal keeper and Tori Martin at goal defence did not relieve pressure from the opposition’s shooters, they continued to convert and finally began to pull away. Sophie Kennedy, the Royal’s player of the match, played fantastically, moving down the court and constantly supporting every team member. A few silly mistakes, however, meant that Sheffield pulled away to victory. Now Newcastle have a lot to focus on as the season continues after Christmas.

L.MACKENZIE

The performance with the Epee weapon was proved to be the downfall of the Blades

44

Monday December 13 2010 THE COURIER

Unfair Dismissal ?

Chris Hughton, another vitcim of the football business , page 37 Sports Editors: Paul Christian, Jamie Gavin and Tom James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

Sports Editors: Jono Taylor, Wills Robinson and Kat Bannon - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

Stan Calvert taken off this year’s Christmas list Uni-Poly showdown postponed until the end of March due to snow Kat Bannon Sports Editor Much to the disappointment of students from across both Newcastle and Northumbria University, regardless of whether they were directly involved in the head-tohead or not, the decision to postpone Stan Calvert from December 15 until March 30 was made last Wednesday.

The judgment was reached in a meeting of the event’s organising committee. This consisted of AU officer Charley Wright, Performance Sports Manager Fraser Kennedy and Northumbria’s equivalent, as well as Gateshead Council and Stadium staff.

Despite the fact the weather was meant to improve, which would have given the pitches a chance to thaw, it was not conceivable that this would fully happen. Unless the temperatures increase over the week, only a single layer of snow and ice will be removed at most.

Although many experts in having pitches prepared in extreme circumstances were present, both institutions expressed concern over damage to the playing surfaces including artificial pitches which require extra care, whilst the safety of competitors could not be guaranteed.

Newcastle sealed their third consecutive victory over Northumbria last year, after the Poly were forced to endure a humilating 83.75 to their 32.25 point defeat in the first Sunday showdown. As well as moving from February back to its original place before Christmas this year, it was transferred back to a midweek event after complaints from Northumbria. Hosting the event at a weekend meant many of their top players were unable to compete due to obligations with their other clubs.

Photographs of the cup with last year’s AU Officer Vicky Tyas have become synomous with highlighting the sporting success of Team Newcastle, despite slipping out of the BUCS top ten last season. However, Charley Wright will have to postpone his hope of claiming the cup as his own until before Easter, which will mark the 17th time the Universities have come head-tohead as Newcastle hope to make claim to a fourth victory in four years.

The event was established in 1994 after the sudden death of Stan Calvert, the first Director of Sport at Newcastle University and former Chairman of the Northern Sports Council.

Last year the event was originally set to feature an unprecedented 23 sports before Rugby Union,

Rubgy League, Women’s Rugby were amongst those cancelled due to typically unpredictable North Eastern weather. After athletics and cross country joined the ranks last year clay target shooting and gymnastics feature as this year’s additions, although they will have to hold on a few more months to make their debut.

Performance Sport Director Fraser Kennedy is, given the circumstances, happy with the decision made last Wednesday. Resigned to the fact that nothing else could have been done he is thankful that the event can be rearranged: “There is no point running the risk that all the outdoor fixtures and the main event could be cancelled on the day next week. It would mean that those in stage three next year would be participating in the full Stan Calvert experience for the first time come 2011. This would cause the intense rivalry between the Universities to disintegrate. Therefore it made sense to rearrange the event as a whole.”

His only fear at the moment is that, if the event is to take place on March 30, people will be leaving for Easter in advance: “sportspersons have to stick around; we need everyone available.”

Regardless of the Poly whitewash last year, he is also keen to stress that Team Newcastle can’t afford to be complacent. As current records of BUCS and friendly fixtures against Northumbria stand there is little to suggest we have a definite edge over the Poly, but instead are under pressure to Also, on the practical side of the event organisation, it was necessary for a ‘better safe than sorry’ approach to be adopted in order to prevent the loss of funds. The decision needed to be made a week in advance in order to give enough notice to hospitality side of the main event taking place at Gateshead Stadium, as extra food and drink was obviously going to have to be available in advance for supporters and players: “We couldn’t take the chance to be out of pocket with regards to funding as both Gateshead Stadium and Gateshead Council.”

Despite obvious disappointment, AU Officer Charley Wright is keen to remain positive: “It’s a real shame that we can’t get the competition played before Christmas, but at least in March 2011 we will be guaranteed a full event schedule so we can really show the Poly who is boss!” Both urge everyone to keep training over Christmas as much as possible.

However, two sports which don’t find the weather too disconcerting are Ice Hockey and Skiing, and so

B. CARLIN

The emblematic Stan Calvert Cup will remain in the Team Newcastle trophy cabinet until next year when weather conditions will hopefully permit it to take the journey across the Tyne to Gateshead Stadium to witness Newcastle’s fourth consecutive victory

their fixtures have remained intact.

Face off occurred at 10.45pm last Sunday at Whitley Bay Ice Rink.

Meanwhile Skiing is due to take place this Tuesday 14 December at 7.00pm at The Silksworth Ski Centre, Sunderland.

Programmes and t-shirts will be on sale from Charley and various other places from mid-March – there are a limited number so make sure you don’t miss out on the oppotunity to wear the Team Newcastle slogan with pride when both players and fans come face-to-face at Gateshead.

Stan Calvert past champions: 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002

Northumbria Newcastle Northumbria Newcastle Newcastle Newcastle Northumbria Newcastle Newcastle

2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010

Draw Newcastle Northumbria Newcastle Northumbria Newcastle Newcastle Newcastle