Till I Run Out Of Love

by: Daniel Ambe

Love should be the happiest feeling in anyone's lives. And loving a person should be the best thing that happens to anyone. Despite the hurt and challenges that come with it. But unfortunately, not being able to be with someone you love can equally be the worst feeling ever. And there exist several reasons as to the background of this feeling. It could be: fear of being hurt, lack of trust, the other person doesn't feel the same or because of consent. But in my case, it was health, the most unexpected reason. One beyond my control, one which therapy couldn't change.

There he stood, beautiful smile, curly hair, gracious laugh, heaven blue eyes and in all shades of perfection and particles of every thing good.

It was a Saturday morning in June of 2021. We had just come out of the park where we spoke about raising a family and where our home would be. Deep within, I knew it would dures were done on me and then blood transfusion processes. I saw myself taking 10-11 pills of medicines each day. There were so many that even an ODD person would feel sorry for me. Few weeks later I was due for a bone transplant. I felt over, I was done for. I had only heard about this from health education programs but here I was. Thoughts of how I might soon die or if I would ever find love for me.

But they gave me hope, told me I could have a family and they would walk me through it. "You're not alone" was the mantra I carried till I got older. And yes the procedures paid off, the pain in the joints lessened, I still experienced dizziness, fatigue,lowoxygenbutIfeltstronger; I was stronger. What felt like a curse turned out to be a blessing as I was able to inspire others to be better. They saw a reason to be stronger because this wasn't a curse as I showed. It was just another fever that required medication.

"Sarah…, Sarah!" as I snapped back into reality. And there we were sitting at the hospital lobby. I lookedatthismanthatIhadloved morethanmyselfandIfeltbroken and then he said "I have something to tell you". I said "me too, but go on babe". Thenhebegan…"babe,Iwasborn with sickle cell but…" With those words, a tear dropped and I, this time, stood up and walked away…