Strength
of
Sensitivity
A Conversation with Dr. Kyra Mesich
by staff reports “Being empathic is being sensitive to emotional energy. It is vital to understand empathic ability in order to fully, holistically understand yourself as a sensitive person.” In introducing her new book, The Strength of Sensitivity: Understanding Empathy for a Life of Emotional Peace & Balance (Llewellyn Worldwide), available in bookstores on May 8, local author Kyra Mesich, PsyD., says empathic ability is a profound reminder that we are all connected. However, it’s not always easy to cope with. “For highly sensitive people, empathic ability can feel like an invasion, leading to confusion, physical issues and emotional distress,” she says. “The Strength of Sensitivity explores the causes of empathic connections and provides techniques for developing and coping with sensitivity in a positive way.” Dr. Mesich’s new book follows up on what she presented in The Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide, which explored how it feels to endure the discomforts of being a sensitive, empathic person. The new book shares stories not only about the struggles of being an empath but also the triumphs, and it presents amazing research that explains how empathic ability works. It reveals tools such as flower essences, mindfulness meditation and visualization practice that effectively help sensitive people create healthier relationships with their empathic abilities. “In the 15 years since I wrote the survival guide,” she says, “I’ve learned a great deal about going beyond merely surviving and instead learned to evolve my experience as a sensitive, empathic person. Empathic ability can be developed and used more comfortably. The way you experience your sensitivity can evolve, and its gifts and benefits can outweigh the overwhelm. As sensitive people, our time has come to embrace who we are, carry ourselves proudly, and spread our influence to make a world a more peaceful, compassionate place.” She earned a doctoral degree in clinical psychology in 1995. A quest to understand sensitivity from a truly holistic perspective led her to study extensively in the field of integrative health. Her holistic training includes flower essence therapy, Reiki, hypnotherapy, yoga and meditation. Empathic experiences with clients plus frustration with the limitations of traditional talk therapy led her to integrate holistic modalities into her healing practice. She shared with us some insight into 12 www.edgemagazine.net
more reactive. There is greater blood flow in our brains in response to certain stimuli. So what I want people to understand is that sensitivity is a holistic experience for us: physically, emotionally and energetically. Why did you write a book for sensitive people? KM: If any group needs a boost in self-esteem,
it is sensitive people. We’ve been told our entire lives that we are weak, odd, and that we need to toughen up. We get dismissed with “Oh, you’re just being too sensitive.” Most sensitive people really do think there is something wrong with them because they are so sensitive, and they dislike being that way. I want every sensitive reader to know that he or she is not alone. Far from it, actually. Highly sensitive people are at least 20 percent of the population. We are strong in number and possess strengths in many misunderstood abilities such as sharp, quick perception, compassion, empathy and intuition.
What new perspectives does your book provide for sensitive people? KM: There are a lot of new concepts in The
Dr. Kyra Mesich: Author of a new book sensitivity, empathy and how the two are related. Your book is titled The Strength of Sensitivity. Are you a sensitive person? Dr. Kyra Mesich: Yes, of course. My work
began on the path of self-understanding. I was a stereotypical sensitive little girl and young adult. I cried easily. I was exhausted by crowded places. I couldn’t stand violence or negativity. I was picked on at school. I felt odd and misunderstood. Fast forward 25 years, and now I am a holistic psychotherapist who sings the praises of sensitivity. Sensitive people need to know that there is nothing wrong with us. In fact, the more we embrace and learn about our sensitivity, the stronger we become in body, mind, and spirit.
How do you define sensitivity? KM: I describe sensitive people as very
perceptive and aware of even the most subtle influences. We feel emotions deeply; experience strong reactions, and generally experience the world with more impact than less sensitive people. Sensitivity is often confused with shyness and introversion, but those are different things. Sensitivity is about keen perception and responsiveness. For example, it has been shown in scientific studies that sensitive people’s physiology is
Strength of Sensitivity. I challenge readers to really look at how they define themselves and to change the limiting beliefs we’ve been taught about our sensitivity. I address sensitivity from a truly holistic point of view — in addition to the physical and emotional, I don’t skip over the energetic and metaphysical. We need to understand who we are in mind, body and spirit if we are to become more comfortable with our sensitivity and access its strengths. That leads to a whole host of new ways to heal, recalibrate our sensitivity, and appreciate the importance of why we are the way we are.
Why has sensitivity been regarded as a weakness? KM: At some point in the history of humanity,
we made a collective shift to focus on the coarse physical and mechanical aspects of life. We separated ourselves from nature and sought to override subtle with forceful. We feared anything that we couldn’t readily see and understand. From that perspective, sensitivity was no longer valued and even viewed as a threat. Also, when sensitivity was defined through that limited, concrete mode of thinking, we lost the knowledge to understand the strengths of our finer, subtler, energetic aspects. Despite all that, sensitive people have always been the artists, visionaries, compassionate healers, and spiritual teachers, providing balance to society as a whole.