ODL’s magazine by and for the LGBT+ community
Q10 Summer 2015
Pride in mind and body
Q competition - enter for your chance to win!
Activists on the ground, the real heroes of Pride ODL is supported by
Sing for Life
Jamie Reece spoke to London Gay Men’s Chorus Assistant Musical Director and qualified counsellor Chris Pethers about how singing can boost your health. There are absolutely health benefits to singing in a group, it’s not just about creating a beautiful sound!
Gay Men’s Chorus
Firstly, it’s a hugely social thing to do and great way to surround yourself with new people. From my experience, the bonds that you form with fellow singers are really strong, whether you’re harmonising or having a pint afterwards. That feeling of achieving together definitely gives you a sense of belonging! On top of that, singing keeps you in well-tuned condition. When you’re singing, your mind and body are working together in concert. While it may sound complicated, you can inadvertently learn other things that are useful in your day-to-day life, like great posture and breathing deeply. Focus and unwind. Joining a choir is also a great way to unwind. The concentration required to sing well means that you can find yourself fully ‘in the moment’. A positive side-effect of this is that you’re not worried or concerned about external things, there’s a natural relief from stress and anxiety. Finally, getting involved with a choir is affordable and hugely accessible. One of the best things about this activity is that anyone can do it. To start your own group, all you need is a leader. That said, if you’d rather join a choir that already exists, some research online will unearth a variety of local groups, so you can pick something that suits you – whether singing classical pieces, pop, rock or gospel. Find out more at www.singforpleasure.org.uk Whether you’re looking to do something new, stay active and healthy or just want to meet new people, joining a choir is a great thing to consider. Q London Gay Men’s Chorus - www.lgmc.org.uk Women sing East led by Laka Daisical - www.spitalfieldsmusic.org.uk or contact Chloe Shrimpton on 020 7377 0287 The Pink Singers - www.pinksingers.co.uk, Diversity Choir - www.diversitychoir.co.uk ‘Can’t Sing’ Choir classes at Morley College - www.morleycollege.ac.uk/courses/music/2216-cant_sing_choir For more information: Sidney De Haan Research Centre for Arts and Health www.canterbury.ac.uk/research-and-consultancy/research-centres/sidney-de-haan-research-centre/sidney-de-haan-research-centre.aspx
A warm tribute to Di Chapman
Di Chapman, co-founder of Arena 3 died in April, Ros Pearson remembers her. I met Di Chapman in 1989. I was making the documentary, Women Like Us about older lesbians for the Channel 4 series, Out on Tuesday. I had finally tracked her down, I was excited, she was more than reluctant. She and Esmee Langley had been instrumental in setting up Arena 3, a newsletter for lesbians which first appeared in January 1964. I wanted to know more. She was exceedingly wary of anyone wanting to film her, and not at all interested in sharing her history with some unknown feminist. Bizarrely, we hit it off, she made me guffaw with laughter at her tales and eventually agreed to take part. Di claimed they launched Arena 3 onto ‘a homophobic and unsuspecting public’ and it brought a wind of change. It was a lifeline from the start for lesbians, many of whom were isolated. After a while, women pressed for meetings. Di found a room in the Shakespeare’s Head in Carnaby Street and things moved on from there. She was a brilliant, humorous woman who touched the lives of many lesbians, including mine. Q Women Like Us and Women Like That will be shown soon at ODL Women’s Film night – check the Listings. You can contact Ros at rosalindpearson@honfleur.org.uk
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*Photo by Brenda Prince
Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
Q10: Looking After Mind and Body With PRIDE 2015 in mind and still smiling at the wonderful LGBTQ victory in the Irish referendum, we hope the summer issue finds ODL members in good spirits. Its theme of living life fully intends to encourage you to venture out, attend a new social event or inspire you to make desired changes in your life.
this does not mean all pleasures are lost or that new ones aren’t possible. Although commentators suggest that old people who live alone suffer, we beg to differ. What about the many who do so while sustaining deep friendships, being part of stimulating groups or members of organisations like ODL?
What does looking after mind and body mean? Popular media urges continuous self-improvement and suggests if we just did it right we could ban the ageing process. But what if we don’t want to pretend that age is only a number? Maybe we prefer to remain open to ongoing changes and challenges throughout our lives, accepting that this will throw up a variety of emotions: pleasure and sadness, hope and fear, mourning and celebration, acceptance and denial.
That said, Q would never be dismissive of growing social inequalities which impact our diverse LGBTQ lives, whether these are the result of racism, class divisions or anything else. Lack of money and services are major determinants of isolation or depression.
Q doesn’t want to overload ODL members with hectoring self-help advice. We do want to encourage members to participate to whatever extent possible to live fully. Part of ageing is learning to choose and prioritise our activities and goals, especially if energy and strength have diminished or partners or friends have died. But
tition: Q CompeSwimming or Walking mories Me
In our daily lives we often remark about how getting older produces a kind of invisibility unless we’re being blatantly patronised. Belonging to ODL can be part of fiercely resisting this. Q10 offers snapshots of a variety of ways ODL members and friends are flexing their muscles, tending their spiritual and intellectual lives, and joining together to demonstrate our ancient LGBTQ glory. Enjoy! As usual we urge you to write to Q. Please share your thoughts with other members in the next issue of Q.
We have one copy of the new book of walks: Wild Swimming Walks for a lucky ODL member who enters our competition. (See review on page 7.) All you need to do is send us a memory recalling a walking or swimming experience from your past (real or imaginary). Does it connect with you now as a lesbian, gay man, bi-sexual, trans person, or queer? Keep it brief – 250 words tops. Deadline: 10 August Send by email or by post, addresses on page 15 Winner to be announced and published in the Autumn issue of Q.
Go for a walk! ODL organises walks each month for women, men and mixed groups, info in the monthly listings: www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk/calendar-2/ Summer’s here - make the most of it!
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Active politics keep you healthy! Tony spoke to Ian Townson, who explains why, at 64 years old, he spends most of his time out on the streets, trying to engage people in conversation, and how it keeps him alive and well. I kept myself busy with campaigning ahead of the General Election in May. I was canvassing for Left Unity in Lambeth; it’s an anti-austerity party, that champions the interests of ordinary working people against attacks on jobs, welfare and services. Planning It’s proving to be a real challenge for me. Strict timing, coordination and forward planning with other members is necessary when setting up stalls and displays outside tube stations or at public meetings; making sure we have sufficient leaflets, posters, pamphlets, banners and tables with decent covers, to let people know who we are and to make a good impression! Listening Good communication skills are essential; explaining to people policies different to the established parties, listening carefully to them and understanding and discussing their concerns. Targeting a particular constituency in Lambeth we spend time visiting housing estates, as housing is an important issue in London. We hear that so called regeneration schemes sometimes disrupt and break up established communities. Satisfying I find it exhilarating speaking to people, either through a megaphone on the street, or to individuals, or in a more formal setting to groups at our public meetings. Public speaking is a real art and when making a formal presentation to a group of strangers, unfamiliar with our policies, it takes a real training of the mind to be rational, calm Members views about:
Ian campaigning
and coherent in such an unfamiliar setting. The response from members of the public has been extremely positive, with only one or two instances of hostility and it has become clear to me that many people are angry at the way they have been treated by the two main parties. Physical exercise One thing is for sure. This is not a tourist’s guide to London, sitting in ease on an open top bus. Scurrying along with a table and bags full of literature to set up stalls in various locations and tramping up and down stairs on housing estates keeps me physically very fit and alert. All in all canvassing is a great way to meet people and a fantastic confidence booster, as well as the satisfaction of getting across the message that a challenge to the existing run of the mill politics is possible. Q
HEALTH
“Our health is our own responsibility: call in professionals when they’re needed, but without accepting their suggestions uncritically.” “The low-fat diet is a nonsense, based on faulty and inaccurate science: it’s very unhealthy, replacing fat with carbohydrate and sugar, which we all tend to eat too much of anyway.” “Sugar is probably the number one enemy. Keep your intake well down, especially as it’s added to so many foods.” 4
Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
Serious Playground An absorbing hobby can be as relaxing and good for us as any medicine. Bernadette Halpin shares her love of drawing. When I was eight, my mum bought me a box of Rowney coloured pastels for Christmas – not childish chalks, but proper adult art tools. I still have them (half-used) on a shelf in my workroom. Now aged 60, I look back and realise that drawing is one of the few constants in an often chaotic life – not a career, not that lover, not even my favourite addiction. Whatever bad times I went through, I never gave up on drawing. Drawing is simple: all you need is something to make a mark with and something to make a mark on. Pencil to pad. Brush to board. Charcoal to cartridge paper.
In a French café, Bernadette Halpin
Friends who are Buddhists have their daily practice – time taken out from the frenetic course of life to meditate. Drawing is my spiritual practice. The one time I feel both deeply connected to the physical world but transcending it. Drawing forces me to look: to truly see the person or object I’m trying to capture in line. And that looking has become how I view the world: across the breakfast table, from the bus window, looking up from my desk in the office. Drawing can be solitary or communal: I sign up to regular workshops – and there we are, model naked in front of us, in silent struggle. Later over tea, with faces black as miners – charcoal gets everywhere – we share our efforts. As we grow older, age takes many things from us – but however old I am, I hope to keep drawing. In his 80s and bedridden, Matisse took a huge pair of tailor’s shears and cut out the vibrant paper shapes he’s best known for now. I’m no Matisse, but I feel blessed to have a talent that brings me such pleasure and peace of mind. Q *Serious Playground is a song by Laura Nyro that describes how I feel about drawing: both passion and play.
My Friend Fola, Bernadette Halpin
Go for a walk! Hiking Dykes has been organising walks since the late 80s, there are walks most weekends and during the week with older and younger women, contact: eleanorclark@yahoo.co.uk
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Calling time on the Black Cap? Jamie Reece examines the sad fate of one queer London’s iconic institutions.
In shocking news for so many of us, the Black Cap pub in Camden closed its doors on 12th April. The pub, which was one of London’s oldest continually operating LGBT venues, finally shuttered after a drawn out, months-long battle against proposed redevelopment. This happened despite a successful campaign by local activists to recognise the cabaret as a historic venue. While new details as to how the venue will be redeveloped are yet to be officially confirmed, its new owners have already stated that the Black Cap will transform into a new ‘restaurant/café-bar type establishment’ According to the Ham & High newspaper, the pub’s new owner, Paul McGill, the CEO of Camden Securities, agreed the terms for the future of the pub in December. McGill said the decision to close the Black Cap was made “long ago” and was out of his hands. Despite this set back, it has been heartening to see many of the gay community protest the Black Cap’s closure.
A week after the event, around 200 members of the protest group #WeAreTheBlackCap gathered to register their displeasure on the streets. In addition, a strong social media campaign using the group’s eponymous hashtag has raised awareness of the Black Cap’s plight and, through this, the continuing struggle of LGBTQ-friendly venues to survive in the capital. Q For more information on upcoming protests and how you can get involved: follow @weareblackcap on Twitter or visit www.twitter.com/weareblackcap. To sign a petition protesting the closure, visit www.change.org/p/the-new-owners-of-theblack-cap-reopen-the-black-cap
Do you ever feel lonely?
Ever felt alone in a world in which everyone else seems too busy to be interested in, concerned about, even aware of your existence? Do you know what it’s like to have nobody to collect you after a hospital procedure requiring an escort for discharge? To have nowhere to go, no visitors, no one to talk to or get a phone call from on Christmas Day, when others are buying and giving presents, surrounded by family, close friends, and pets, when you, condemned to spend it alone, have none of these? Research reveals that 1 in 11 adults (4.4 million) have no close friends; 1 in 5 rarely or never feel loved by someone else; and loneliness is deadlier than obesity. Older LGBT folk are no less vulnerable to abandonment than others. When an all-ages gay men’s social group in Soho (usually attracting around 15 people) recently focused on Loneliness, 120 people crammed in to the meeting. It’s that serious. But unless we ourselves do something about it, nothing will change. Embarrassing maybe, but first we must declare our condition and admit, yes, I am Alone In The World, and I Need Company. A current campaign runs ‘If you believe that nobody who wants company should be without it, join here: www.campaigntoendloneliness.org ’. I hope many of you will contact them and stress your LGBT needs! ODL Members willing to help others, or wanting to get more support themselves or wishing to learn more, can get in touch at: forafairerworld@gmail.com or call 07941191749. Roger Juer, ODL Ambassador and Camden LGBT Forum volunteer
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Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
A Walk from Hackney to Limehouse
Barbara walks along the River Lee from Hackney to the Thames.
This is the first in an occasional series of walks in and around London, all reachable by public transport. We start with a walk along the River Lee from Hackney Wick to the Thames. On the way you can see cormorants, coots, moorhens, ducks, geese and swans, and you might also be lucky as I was and be watching as a cormorant catches a fish. The banks are jammed with houseboats, and messing around on boats looks irresistible. The basics Starting at Hackney Wick overground station, walk south down the River Lee, through the Limehouse cut to Limehouse basin on the Thames (an easy one and a half hour walk), and if you’re feeling adventurous there’s the option to return on a different route via the Regents Canal past Mile End to Hackney’s Mare Street. If you end the walk at Limehouse basin, there’s the nearby Limehouse DLR station and buses towards Poplar or Canary Wharf, and Aldgate or Wapping. Hidden treasure The Hackney Pearl, a cafe and restaurant two minutes from Hackney Wick station, a gem of a place for pre- or post-walk food and drink. Lunch and literature (LGBT alert!) At Limehouse Basin, turn left and you can easily find your way to The Grapes on Narrow Street, overlooking the Thames; part owned by Ian
River Lea Walk, Limehouse basin McKellen, it has decent beers and food (serving lunch till 2.30). It appears, barely disguised, in Charles Dickens’s novel, Our Mutual Friend. A few directions Part of the Lee Valley walk, the route is well signposted. At the start, cross to the east, Olympic Stadium, side of the river. At Bow Road cross to the opposite bank of the river and again at Three Mills Bridge close to Three Mills. Take a map with you so you can find your way to and from public transport links. It’s a gentle walk with some steps, for access information call: 08456 770 600. Q
Wild Swimming Walks
A wonderful new book makes ambling near London easy, as Alison Read explains. Are you an armchair walker? Always thinking, ‘must get out of London more?’ Now a new book of walks has taken all the drudgery out of preparation. Wild Swimming Walks lists 28 walks easily accessible by public transport from London and each walk includes the chance of a swim. All the information you need on stations, distance, where to eat and places of interest is included in a beautifully produced book with specially taken photographs. There’s a handy chart covering all the walks which makes it easy to select one to fit your time and energies. It’s worth taking an OS map too. We did not swim in May but friends and I tested two walks and had a good time on both days: bluebells and spring greenery, estuarine mud and a mass of wildfowl to watch. There’s no special LGBT content in the book but in the churchyard at Blean we did wonder at the gravestone for Freda (Jim) Rivers. Does that inscription hide a story? Q Wild Swimming Walks Kenwood Ladies’ Pond Association Wild Things Publishing £14.99 Find out how to win a copy of this book in a special Q competition on page 3.
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Lonely or just alone? ODL member Brian Lamb considers the advantages of embracing both time to be alone and time to be with others. Everyone needs some space of their own and to be with other people. Human beings are social creatures who want to share ideas and experiences. So if you feel lonely, consider less of yourself and get out to meet others in whatever group you choose. Your very presence might cheer someone up (or it might not of course). There are often social barriers to getting out to meet people, especially for those of us who are disabled or frail. Changing this is part of Age UK’s campaigning work. On one occasion when I was exhausted, I felt apprehensive and fearful about meeting new people. Then I read in the Bible that “true love casteth out all fear”. When I realised this and adopted a more loving approach my fear completely disappeared. This approach became an important passport, enabling me to meet anyone. I happen to be a Christian but what you believe is up to you.
Belonging and communities Often the bad things in life are easier to bear if you share them. So too, if you share the good things, they get better. Is there any way you could brighten someone else’s day? Could you make someone smile today? The feeling of belonging to a community has far-reaching positive influences on well being – it’s not just that you feel better, you are better equipped to face adversities. Among other things, your immune system will be more efficient. It is generally recognised that people who live together are more able to cope with the difficulties of living, even if they lack provisions for basic needs. In the last issue of Q there was an article about gay squatting in Brixton. It was noted that as people moved into better living accommodation on their own, many of the benefits of living together were lost. Try to strike a balance between being alone and with other people. Being with other people is good for your health! I always remember that as I need other people, they need me too! Q
Bent Bars LGBTQ people are disproportionately criminalised and imprisoned, often suffering particularly harsh and dehumanising treatment. Begun in 2008, the Bent Bars Project puts people on the outside in touch with LGBTQ prisoners who would like help to overcome what is often a frightening, disorienting and very lonely experience. Being locked up gives the opportunity for some to think about who they are for the first time and we get regular letters from prisoners who are coming out, or who want to, for the first time when in prison. Some prisons have diversity officers who run open support groups, but others don’t even acknowledge the existence of LGBTQ Poster Design by A-K Pirata prisoners. Bent Bars doesn’t forget that some prisoners have committed serious crimes but they may still need our help. Currently we have a shortage of senior outside penpals for older prisoners and invite ODL members to become involved, either through the website: www.bentbarsproject.org or by attending an open meeting at London Friend, 86 Caledonian Road, London N1 9DN. We’d love to have you on the team! Chryssy Hunter
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Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
Dancing to the 5 Rhythms
Do you love moving to music? Feel out of synch with the dance scene? Want to move but need to do so at your own speed? Well, 5 Rhythms Dance classes might suit you. Gill Sampson who has attended classes for many years explains what it’s all about.
No standard to achieve, no pattern of steps to follow, just moving your body in response to the music at your own pace and in your own style. You are free to make it as aerobic or as gentle as you please, lying down is always an option! Your teacher won’t tell you what to do but with music will guide you through flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness rhythms, feeding in suggestions to keep you aware of your body and reminding you to breathe. Conscious dance can be relaxing and mood enhancing, a moving meditation giving a sense of groundedness and connection. Whatever emotional/physical state I arrive at the dance in I will feel different when I leave. The bottom line is always an uplifting dance with fantastic music! 5 Rhythms and my changing needs 5 Rhythms has supported me physically, emotionally and spiritually over the past 24 years, including through a serious illness in my 50s. I loved dancing at women’s discos in my 20s and 30s, spending whole evenings on the dance floor, but as I got older I began to feel out of sync and clubs seemed commercial. So I felt drawn to 5 Rhythms where I could recapture earlier joys without the fast lifestyle. In the last five years my physical strength and energy levels have decreased and I have times of really painful arthritis which affect my mobility. There is space for me to be my older self in my usual class and I’m by no means the only one, Some useful dance links www.joyfuldance.co.uk Over 60s class Swiss Cottage
www.acalltodance.com Lists all London classes
www.marywardcentre.ac.uk Over 60s class Holborn www.fullmoondance.co.uk Monthly women’s dance www.facebook.com/danceoutloudlondon LGBT weekly class
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but can only manage the first hour of a two or three hour class. There are two classes in London that address my situation, both for the over 60s A variety of classes In the past as a lesbian I have found some classes uncomfortably heterosexual and it has paid to shop around! These days there are many more lesbians and gay men dancing (and teaching) the 5 Rhythms all over the country and many different flavours of class to choose from. In London there is a weekly LGBT class and a monthly women only full-moon dance. 5 Rhythms has been an indispensable ingredient in my journey through middle age and now as I travel into old age. Q 9
Other People’s Germs
If catching a so-called minor ‘bug’ has the potential to seriously affect your health how do you get the message across to the public including health professionals! Jean Fraser, who lives with major lung condition, explains and asks us to take notice and take care. I live with severe emphysema and chronic asthma, managing both with the help of my GP, consultant and the community respiratory team here in Kent. Most of the time I live a nearnormal life, despite chronic breathlessness and frequent use of oxygen. But when I have a flareup I become seriously ill and may never recover my current level of functioning. So it’s crucial to avoid infection as far as humanly possible. You would think, wouldn’t you, that if people see me using oxygen they would keep a distance and not cough in my face as happened recently. You’d also think that if a respiratory patient goes for hospital tests, the staff would wear masks if they have a bug, knowing the clinical havoc potentially caused by passing on their germs. When I was recently in hospital with double pneumonia I asked the first nurse I saw if she was virus free. Oh no, she replied breezily, if I wanted someone who was I’d be waiting a long time as her team had all been down with flu. Now I’m not wanting special status here but it seems only common sense that on a mixed ward a virusfree nurse would attend the respiratory patients, knowing how compromised their lungs already are. Taking Care, Taking responsibility And herein lies the challenge: you have to be pretty assertive to claim a safe space in the world, or as safe as possible, for of course we can only do our best and accept that some infections will slip through. But infection control is a public health issue so why is there almost no education about it? Keeping safe currently relies solely on individual levels of confidence.
Jean at a ‘Save the NHS’ demo
I have no answer other than to stab the next person who sits down beside me at a social event and cheerfully announces, “I’m going down with something!” Catching a cold may be fine if you’re young and fit but it can be life and death for the elderly and chronically sick. The public needs to catch on but even more importantly so does public health education. Q
Top Tips for infection control • If you have a cold, if possible keep 6 feet between yourself and others • You can’t avoid every situation, but always let others know if you’re not well. • Protect your friends when you’re ill, hug with your face over-their-shoulder out of line of germs • Always cover your mouth and sneeze into your elbow; don’t sneeze or cough in anyone’s face. • Surfaces are heaven for germs; don’t spread ‘em - wash those hands and use your elbows to open doors • And if your immune system is compromised, don’t be scared to be assertive about your needs.
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Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
The POPPY Study: HIV and Ageing
Today many HIV-positive gay men are moving into the later-life zone. A new study is now trying to understand HIV in ageing women and men. Roy Trevelion, a member of the UK Community Advisory Board (UK-CAB) and an HIV treatment advocate for all people living with HIV explains. Researchers at the UK’s university hospitals are studying HIV and later life. They are trying to answer many questions. For example, how do patients and doctors juggle medication for agerelated conditions along with anti-HIV drugs? What effect does one drug have on another, and how well do our bodies deal with drugs as we age? Are HIV-positive patients more at risk from older people’s illnesses? One such study is called POPPY. POPPY is a tribute to the effectiveness of combination therapy. Combining three or more anti-HIV drugs suppresses the virus. HIV can’t do much damage if the virus is ‘undetectable’. So today people live long lives with HIV, and are – more or less – not infectious. It’s a boon! We know from reading Q that older people do have sex. Knowing you are far less likely to pass on the virus will certainly improve passion and romance. But older people – with or without HIV – develop age-related conditions. The ageing process means that different individuals grow older at different rates, and in different ways. Knees might not function properly, arteries might get clogged up, or lungs don’t take in enough air. What difference does HIV make on the ageing process? POPPY is investigating how older HIV-positive people age. It’s a new situation and questions have to be asked. Is it different from older HIVnegative people? How can doctors manage the interactions between anti-HIV drugs and other drugs for conditions such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol levels? POPPY participants are checked for a whole range of different conditions. Livers, kidneys, hearts, lungs, bones, and more, will all be given the scientific once over. Participants often say that
they’re having a health MOT. In a way they are. But they’re having these tests now to see whether there are differences in results after a few years. It’s capturing the ageing process in HIV-positive people so that doctors are prepared for future health issues. Right now, we don’t know what these issues will be, because HIV-positive patients haven’t grown older before. It’s recommended that results go to the GP as well as the HIV clinician. However, older patients – of all kinds – should make sure they take part in any treatment decisions. A test result might be a bit unusual, but not require extra drugs. We’ll have to work out if it needs medical treatment. Q
HIV-negative people needed for POPPY POPPY is still recruiting HIV-negative older men and women over 50 to the study. If you are interested in taking part please get in touch. Email: poppy@imperial.ac.uk Web page: poppystudy.org Telephone: 020 7594 3413
Go for a walk! On the internet you can find various LGBT groups who organize walks from London but we’ve not tested them; worth a look, but not LGBT specific: www.walklondon.org.uk which organises three weekends of guided walks a year; www.walk4life.info suggests walks starting from a chosen postcode; www.walkit.com plots a route for you between chosen starting points; and also gives you a circular walk, of chosen length, from a chosen location.
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Using Mindfulness to cope with ill health Through her professional and personal experience, Melanie Rendall, has learned to help herself and others live more comfortably with the symptoms of ill health. Here she describes her approach.
My role as a clinical health psychologist, put most simply, is to help individuals live as good a quality of life with illness and disability as possible. Unsurprisingly, this is often not a simple endeavour; our beliefs about health and how they subsequently influence our behaviours, thinking and emotions are driven by a myriad of psychological and social factors, as well as being shaped by culture, gender, and sexuality. Active Acceptance Key to adjustment is the notion of acceptance. This does not mean passivity or having to like something that may be fundamentally unpleasant, but rather, learning to live with our symptoms to the best of our ability and ultimately minimize their impact rather than expending unnecessary energy resisting, fighting, or trying to escape symptoms and realities that we can’t control. Primary and Secondary Suffering The suffering I often see is invariably a complex interaction of two things: primary suffering – these are the physical symptoms, such as noises experienced in tinnitus; hot flushes and night sweats in menopause; pain and fatigue in irritable bowel syndrome, or persistent pain and fatigue in fibromyalgia or arthritis - and secondary suffering, which is our response to these, including our thoughts, beliefs, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and emotions such as worry, anger or low mood. Shifting Secondary Suffering – my experience Working on alleviating secondary suffering can have a tremendous impact on primary suffering. I know this from personal experience having lived with tinnitus for several years. I have learned to understand how my thoughts, feelings and behaviour can ostensibly serve as a ‘volume control’ button, intensifying my symptoms at times or restricting my capacity to focus on the present moment. For example, I have learned to ‘catch’ unhelpful negative thoughts or predictions, or stop attempts to ‘shut out’ the noise, learning that the more I try to fight the problem, the more the mind zooms in to take a closer look, thereby tuning in more to the noise. Behaviours that we think are helpful, such as attempts to mask, avoid or drown out sounds can be working against us, stopping the natural process of habituation as the brain is relearning what it does and does not have to attend to. Applying aspects of mindfulness – which is increasingly being demonstrated to be effective in a range of chronic health conditions – was instrumental in helping me manage not only the noises, but the resulting negative thoughts and worries. And of course the technique can be used across a range of conditions. Q Further reading: Mindfulness for health: a practical guide to relieving pain, reducing stress and restoring wellbeing. Vidyamala Burch & Danny Penman
Gardening is a great way to get out and exercise; the focus and fresh air seem to divert anxieties and you get fresh veggies too. If you don’t have a patch to tend maybe someone in your area could do with some help? ask around, put a notice in your local library or check www.landshare.net/about
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Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
Salads - good for us and tasty too Tony Smith lists 10 ways of turning ordinary lettuce, cucumber and tomato into something more exciting. Try some of the following but as always, check for allergies and suitability for vegetarians and vegans.
• Olives - green or black, sun dried tomatoes, gherkins, artichoke hearts (in a jar with oil), mushrooms (in oil), red peppers (in a jar), your own oven roasted veggies (peppers, onions, courgettes, tomatoes), avocado • Chopped fresh - apple, pear, apricot, orange, melon, pineapple, strawberries, or dried fruit - sultanas, raisins, chopped apricots, peaches, cranberries, mango • Garden flowers - bergamot, day lily, nasturtium, marigold, pansy, borage, chives, clover, garden pea. To check safety go to: http://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/profile?PID=764 • Roasted seeds - pumpkin, sunflower, poppy, melon, sesame and nuts, whole or chopped - almonds, walnuts, cashews, peanuts, hazelnuts, pecans, pistachios, brazils • Grated or chopped - carrot, beetroot, spring onion, cauliflower, broccoli, mangetout, beansprouts, peppers, chillis. Fresh herbs - basil, parsley, mint, chives, coriander • Croutons, small pieces of pizza and cheese - shavings of parmesan, cubes of hard goat’s or other cheeses, feta, grilled halloumi, crumbled blue cheese
• Pieces of crispy bacon, ham, chicken, anchovies, prawns, rollmops, smoked mackerel or salmon • Tinned veggies - peas, green beans, broad beans, chick peas, butter beans, red kidney beans, asparagus, sweet corn Easy Dressing A dressing is what ties the salad together, whether it’s complicated or simple. The key to a salad dressing (like a salad) is to find the combination you like, so taste away as you create • Tony’s dressing choices: 5 tsp olive oil, 5 tsp balsamic vinegar, 1 tsp honey mustard, 1 tsp coarsely ground black pepper. Shake well before use. Ring the changes by varying the proportions. Use different vinegars, different oils, lemon juice. Try adding mashed up blue cheese or very ripe avocado, herbs, garlic, chili, or ginger before you shake it all up • Vinaigrette: A classic oil and vinegar dressing uses 3 or 4 parts oil to 1 part vinegar or lemon juice with salt, pepper, mustard, honey, garlic to taste Q
Summer Smoothies!
It can be challenging to make sure we’ve got the magic Five-A-Day included in our daily diets. However, to embrace the summer sunshine, Fiona McGibbon has come up with some ideas for simple smoothies to help you pack in the fruit and veg, keep your health in tip top shape and encourage you to start mixing your own tasty smoothies. The Iron Booster - To restore iron levels use this simple recipe of juicing a few carrots, a handful of cabbage leaves and good chunk of cucumber, add a glass of water and you have a great iron booster in a glass. The Black and Green - To keep the blood pumping and good circulation, try juicing a handful of blackcurrants with a helping of spinach – the potassium will help control blood pressure. The Green Giant - To help with achy joints, juice leeks, add an apple or two, a chunk of ginger, and some parsley – all which have great anti-inflammatory properties. Useful links on eating well: www.nhs.uk/Livewell/5ADAY/Pages/FAQs.aspx www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/smoothie
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Fundraising for ODL Tom Blackie brings us up to date.
The team has been busy working on a new application to the Big Lottery Fund for a grant to support ODL over the next four years. We’re extremely grateful to have had two large grants over the last seven years, and though it is unusual to be awarded a third grant we have been encouraged to apply: our first stage bid was submitted in April. We’ll hear if we’ve progressed to the second stage in early summer. New worker at ODL/Age UK Camden Recently Age UK Camden has appointed a parttime Community Fundraising Officer to support all its services, including ODL. The new worker, Claire Avant, is very experienced and will work alongside the existing team to support the ongoing Raise a Glass campaign and work with our community partners. Run to raise funds for ODL One big fundraising opportunity on the horizon is the London Pride Run 2015 on Saturday 15th
August and we’d like to thank London Frontrunners, who organise the event, for choosing ODL as their beneficiary charity! We’re hoping as many of our friends and supporters as possible will participate and help us raise crucial funds to support our work. Full details on the London Pride website www.pride10k.org Do you have ideas for fundraising? As ever, fundraising remains a real challenge, and we welcome any ideas, useful contacts or direct donations to help us to keep ODL services going strong. Please contact tom.blackie@ageukcamden.org.uk or call 020 7239 0400. To donate please visit www. openingdoorslondon.org.uk Also please sign up to our Raise a Glass campaign – again, details on the website. We also post a lot of our fundraising news on Facebook, through Twitter and we now have an ODL Instagram account – again you can link to them all through our website, and tell your friends about ODL. Q
Befriending in South London. The ODL Befriending service is expanding south of the Thames! Over the summer Paul Webley will be out and about meeting people, groups and service providers to start building a Befriending network. Paul has been the Befriending Coordinator for some time and he will be looking for ODL members who would like a Befriender, as well as volunteers who want to become a Befriender. Find out more from Paul at: Paul.Webley@ageukcamden.org.uk or phone: 020 7239 0400.
Trans Network London Meeting
Chryssy Hunter reports back. Trans* Network London (TNL) has been set up to co-ordinate the many trans* and gender nonconforming groups and organisations in the London area, to help network events across the capital and connect affiliate members and represents a more professional approach to community connectivity. TNL members discussed the wish of new Stonewall CEO Ruth Hunt, to engage with trans* communities for the first time. The limits of Stonewall’s campaigning philosophy were noted when it was revealed that although they thought they could engage on equal marriage for trans* people they considered the question of campaigning for gender neutral passports to be beyond the pale for our legislators and therefore of questionable worth. At a time when trans* and gender non-conforming people are becoming increasingly organised and visible TNL represents a wish to focus the huge amount of disparate energy of the many groups that represent our communities. Perhaps this represents a new cohesive voice in Trans* politics in the capital? Contact Chryssy for more information: Chryssy.Hunter@ageukcamden.org.uk 14
Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
Pets’ Corner ZoZo is my polyamorous proxy cat – his people live over the wall and I know he has other relationships and homes, but we get along just fine. No expectations or responsibilities on either side. We are similar, companionable but both like a room of our own: him for sleeping, me for getting on with stuff. We exchange occasional visits for full body massage, chat and affection – sadly the massage is one way. He has good manners, telepathic skills and will be extra attentive if I’m blue; he was around all day after the election result in May. He loves the garden, trees to climb, plants to hide behind and can sniff out chicken at 100 metres. How can I resist the charms of a cat that comes when I whistle? Alison Read
Your ODL Quarterly
Announcing a New Q Column: From the next issue Q will carry a regular Down Memory Lane page. Conjure up glimpses from your past to share with Q readers, whether light hearted, poignant, or evocative. If possible send a photo too. Maximum Length: 250 words, Deadline: Monday 10 August Send to: odl.quarterly@ageukcamden.org.uk or Tavis House address. A Competition: To kick off our new regular column, Q is offering a prize for the best submission to the new Down Memory Lane page. See page 3 for details. ODL Q11, the Autumn issue: All about Books and the Arts – write for us on your favourite LGBTQ book, picture, sculpture or maybe the first time you read or saw something which gave a hint that perhaps not all the world was as straight as you’d been led to believe. Thanks to Q10 Contributors: Jean Fraser, Roy Trevelion, Bernadette Halpin, Roger Juer, Ian Towson, Gill Sampson, Melanie Rendall, Rebecca Swenson, Ros Pearson, Brenda Prince, Chryssy Hunter, Taylor Love-Taylor, Vito E Ward, & Tom Blackie. Q editorial group: Tony Smith, Sue O’Sullivan, Mike Harth, Jamie Reece, Fiona McGibbon, Brian Lamb, Barbara, Alison Read & Adrian Johnson. Magazine design by Laura Salisbury: www.laurasalisburygraphicdesign.com © All articles, cartoons and photographs are copyright of the author, artist and photographer. The views and opinions expressed in ODL Q Quarterly are those of the individual contributors and are not neccessarily those of the editorial group, Opening Doors London or AgeUK Camden.
Opening Doors London Contact Details Opening Doors London (ODL), Age UK Camden Tavis House, 1–6 Tavistock Square London, WC1H 9NA Tel 020 7239 0400 Website: www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk Stacey Halls ODL Manager Email stacey.halls@ageukcamden.org.uk Paul Webley Befriending Co-ordinator Email odl.befriending@ageukcamden.org.uk Derek Freeman Campaigns & Policy Email derek.freeman@ageukcamden.org.uk
Liam O’Driscoll Development Co-ordinator Tel 020 7239 0446 Email odl.men@ageukcamden.org.uk Kate Hancock Development Co-ordinator Tel 020 7239 0447 Email odl.women@ageukcamden.org.uk Chryssy Hunter Volunter Coordinator Email Chryssy.Hunter@ageukcamden.org.uk ODL Quarterly Email odl.quarterly@ageukcamden.org.uk
Its easy to join ODL. Get in touch with Kate or Liam by email, phone or post.
Q10 Summer 2015
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A Recurring Walk Down Memory Lane
Thank you to everyone who contributed stories from the past to our last issue. As a result we’ve decided to have a regular page dedicated to your reminiscences and memories as LGBT youngsters, teenagers and adults. Please share a memory you cherish or one that makes you squirm with embarrassment - a glimpse of a meaningful (magical or painful) encounter or event which remains with you years later. Can you recall something that still makes you laugh? Send them all to Q. To tempt you to write for Q we have a competition. See page 3 for details. Keep your contributions to 250 words tops and send to Q at: ODL.Quarterly@ageukcamden.org.uk or the Tavis House address. Deadline for the next issue 10 August.
Down Memory Lane
Vito Ward remembers how she has campaigned all her life
I left my home in Northumberland on 24 January 1961 to travel to Reading and start my training in the Women’s Royal Naval Service. So much happened in the next ten years, mostly enjoyable and certainly adventurous. I availed myself of many opportunities including education and attained the rank of Petty officer. I would have become a Chief PO if they hadn’t discovered I was a lesbian. That’s another long story and chronicled in Clare Summerskill’s book Gateway to Heaven.
Looking back they did me a favour kicking me out; although difficult at the time I found strengths I never knew I had. Like friends, you don’t know how good some are until you’re in trouble. That was a big ‘outing’ and I never went back in the closet. Even when I volunteered for two years in Albania I managed to hook up with a few gay people and support their campaign. I cycled from Vietnam to Cambodia for another charity three years ago and it’s such a joy to enhance our LGBT network. Wherever I travel I try to connect somewhere with gay people but in China I failed! There are a few countries I won’t visit but will continue to support in other ways. As an ambassador for ODL I hope I can still contribute to making life easier for my older LGBT community and encourage everyone to come out and play.
The Vicar’s Daughter Taylor Love-Taylor evokes a long ago image of yearnings not yet articulated. As an only child, I always felt an outsider. In some ways it is hard to distinguish between that and other feelings of alienation. A picnic of family and friends, on the river bank: Elizabeth Dove (16 years older than I) with her Eton crop, box pleated navy blue suit, white shirt blouse and brogues I greatly admired. The first spontaneous gesture of affection I recall making, aged nine, is approaching her from behind, putting my arms round her and hugging her. I don’t remember more, but I feel it triggered an unspoken response from my mother that resounded through my life until I was 30. We have never discussed sexuality nor anything close to it, but I’m still in touch with Elizabeth Dove, who is 88. Always my secret role model.
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Taylor at ten years old
Opening Doors London (ODL) www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk