J-TERM ISSUE 02.01.22 ELMHURSTLEADER.COM
Leader
The Leader’s Love Guide
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
EDITORIAL BOARD GIANNA MONTESANO/ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OLIVIA JANICKE/ COPY EDITOR JASMINE LILLIS/ GRAPHICS EDITOR JARED BOEKENHAUER/ NEWS EDITOR RYAN WINDLE/ ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR ERIC LUTZ/ FACULTY ADVISER ASSISTANTS SARINA OKRZESIK/ Assistant Copy Editor STAFF HANNAH HORN PRINCESS GONZALEZ ESPARZA RACHEL FRATT NICHOLAS REDMOND KAY LOVING EMMY SHAFFER KWEEN JEÁN LUCIA GAVIRIA NUMAIR YOUNUS MINH NGUYEN OLIVIA RILL CONTACT US THE LEADER NEWSPAPER Elmhurst University 190 Prospect Avenue Elmhurst, IL 60126 Office: 630.617.3320 General Inquires & Letters to Editor: leadernewsec@gmail.com ADVERTISE WITH US: theleaderadvertising @gmail.com ABOUT US The Leader is the student-run newspaper to the students, faculty, and administrators of Elmhurst University. The Leader is not submitted to any person or organization for prior approval. The contents are the decision of the editor in agreement with the editorial board. Opinions expressed in The Leader do not necessarily reflect those of the paper or its staff and are not intended to represent those of the EU atlarge. No text, photos, or art can be reproduced without direct permission of The Leader.
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NOTE FROM THE EDITOR Dear reader, The last time you saw an issue from us it was your run-of-the-mill, standard newspaper. This is not that. For the new year, and with the certain pink and red heart holiday taking over retailer shelves, we bring to you the 2022 dating issue. Our writers worked over J-Term to bring you the best playlists, research on dating during COVID-19, and the right tips to impress your astrology boo. We hope you enjoy this issue as much as we enjoyed planning and putting it together for you all. Happy reading, Gianna Montesano, Editor-in-Chief
COVID-19 AND ITS IMPACT ON MODERN DATING PHOTO BY Chau Phan GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
Lucia Gaviria
Talking to the love of your life or just a spontaneous fling has become a way for people to combat the loneliness that comes with isolation.
Staff Writer Despite the dangers of in-person dating during the COVID-19 pandemic, dating apps have reported an increase in user activity during the past two years. OkCupid saw a 700 percent increase in dates, Tinder recorded its highest number of swipes in a single day: 3 billion, and video calls through Bumble increased by 70 percent. “I have been using dating apps for a while now, but being stuck at home just increased the time I spend on them exponentially,” said Vanessa Martinez, a local Tinder and Bumble user since 2015. Just like Martinez, thousands of people around the world report using dating apps significantly more since the beginning of the pandemic. PAGE 01
“I can’t deny that when it comes to meeting for a date in-person, it still seems very scary to me that I might contract COVID[-19] from going out on the date. I always find myself in the dilemma,” Martinez said. “I never know if I should go and risk the chances of contracting the virus or putting myself first.” It can be scary to meet a match in person, but for some, the thought of discussing the logistics around meeting is even scarier. A lot of assumptions can be drawn based on simple things, such as social distancing preferences, and the conversation in itself is awkward. Going on dates may not present a threat to everyone who uses dating apps, however the CDC claims being around someone for more than 15 minutes in “close contact,” or less than
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six feet, increases exposure risk. Meaning, most in-person dates fall in this category. In addition, interacting without masks — to talk, kiss, or eat — puts you at greater risk, as does having your date take place indoors.
THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
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FIVE WAYS TO DATE DURING AN ENDLESS PANDEMIC
As for the location of the date, people must be more selective about where they choose to meet. Pre-pandemic, 51 percent of men preferred to meet a woman at a restaurant on a first date. Currently, restaurants, specifically those with indoor seating, are ranked as the fourth riskiest place to contract COVID-19, so people have had to become more creative with their dates. Many apps, like Bumble and Hinge, have added new features to their apps such as the ability to send voice notes, in-app calling, and interactive games for couples to get to know one another without leaving their homes. Many users of dating apps have discussed hearing their partner’s voice is a big part of why they want to meet in person. These needs are fulfilled with the features dating apps are now offering, making users more likely to spend more time in the app and less time in high-exposure areas. “One time, I decided to shoot my shot and discuss vaccinations with one of my Tinder matches to see if it would be safe to go on a date,” Martinez said. “To sum up the story, he completely assumed my political standing based on my decision to get vaccinated and called me every curse word in the book. Needless to say, we didn’t hit it off.” Dating in 2022 requires the logistics of masks, social distancing, and vaccination statuses to be discussed. It is no secret COVID-19 has also been politicized, and despite it being a cultural norm to not talk politics on a first date, people will inevitably have to break the taboo and indirectly discuss political standings. Thus, the new aspects that are involved with dating during COVID-19 can make it more stressful for both parties involved. “At the end of the day, it was an unpleasant experience. But if I was looking for a life-time partner, sooner or later we were bound to discuss our standing with regards to COVID[-19]; the idea of going on a date just accelerated that process and showed me that I didn’t want to be with him,” Martinez said.
Internet Photos
GRAPHICS BY Princess Gonzalez Esparza & Jasmine Lillis
Jared Boekenhauer
meals together. A FaceTime dinner gives you the protection of being in your home alone, while still getting to spend time with your quarantined loved one. How romantic.
News Editor Dating for anybody can increase the heart rate and cause a nervous jitter, but those tremors get worse when it is possible that your date has been exposed to, or has, a deadly virus which you can bring home to your loved ones. There are, however, various ways to only have one concern on your mind during that much longed for date, five ways, actually:
3. Houseparty
1. Use the group watch feature
For those comfortable enough to be in-person, an outdoor patio dinner is a special way to have a romantic night, without jeopardizing your health. If you search for “romantic patio dining” on Yelp in Chicago, you will get various options of places to dine outdoors in a romantic setting.
Yes, various streaming platforms, from Hulu to Disney+ have a group watch feature so you can enjoy your favorite movies or TV shows from afar with your date. Whether it is a first date, and you are watching something they love, or a 50th date and you want to binge watch a show with your significant other while they quarantine, group watch never fails. 2. FaceTime dinner A simple idea, but one that works well. Simply do a FaceTime dinner — you can even cook your PAGE 02
Houseparty is an app which can be downloaded straight to your smartphone. It includes various games from UNO to Quick Draw. Simply download the app, create an account, and enjoy playing games with that special someone from a distance. 4. Patio Dinner
5. Mini-golf Once the warm weather begins to settle in, outdoor mini-golf is a classic way of having a fun and easy date night. With so many minigolf locations outdoors, you can safely social distance, while competing against your date in an intense, or casual, game of minigolf. 02/01
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
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WHAT TO WEAR: FIRST DATE EDITION FIRST DATE PLAYLIST
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Ryan Windle Arts + Culture Editor This collection of songs reminds me of all the emotions one may feel on a first date, from the excitement beforehand, to the travesty that may occur when it ends.
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(You Drive Me) Crazy Britney Spears
Emotions
Mariah Carey
Butterflies
Kacey Musgraves
Kiss Me
Sixpence None The Richer
Love Story (Taylor’s Version) Taylor Swift
Golden
Harry Styles
Heart to Break Kim Petras
Kiss Me More
Doja Cat feat. SZA
Sexxx Dreams Lady Gaga
ghostin
Ariana Grande
GRAPHICS BY Hannah Horn & Jasmine Lillis
PHOTOS BY Ron Lach
Marisa Sandoval Staff Writer Your outfit can make or break the mood for the first date — you’ll want it to be simple, yet eye-catching for your potential new partner. Here are two easy outfit ideas, ranging from fancy to casual. If you’re going to a nice dinner, wear either a black or red dress. The two colors, red and black, are known to make a statement and start conversations. If you decide to wear a black dress, have some type of bold color shoes. For a red dress, you can never go wrong with a simple black heel or wedge. With either dress, you must have accessories. If the dress is low cut, add a long-layered necklace. Bracelets are also a nice touch to add, as well as a ring or two. To finish the outfit off, have a shoulder bag that either matches or makes a statement. PAGE 03
If the date is more casual, you still should make a statement and have the outfit flatter you. The best thing for a casual date is to not go overboard. Wear a nice pair of jeans, with a top in the color that looks the best on you, but make sure it reflects who you are. Bodysuits flatter everyone and pair very nicely with jeans. This outfit can be put together with nice clean shoes, preferably white if you can. White shoes make the outfit stand out and they go with almost everything. To accessorize, add some bracelets and earrings to add some sparkle, a little goes a long way. For hair, if a slicked-back ponytail looks good with this outfit, do it. However, any way you want to wear your hair will be perfect for this first date. Those are some outfit tips for your first date, each type of date has a different outfit requirement so make sure you dress accordingly. Have the conversation starter be about your amazing outfit, and hopefully your partner appreciates all the thought you put into it.
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HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR NEW BAE WITH THE BEST THIRST TRAP Internet Photos
Ryan Windle Arts + Culture Editor The sun goes down and something else rises up; it’s thirst trap time. There is no shame in my game admitting that I am one to send a thirst trap. If the mood is right, I am more than willing to send a scandalous picture to anyone asking. Starting out, I never knew how to take a good thirst trap. I would try to copy what I saw other gay men doing on Twitter, but it never seemed right to me. I hated how I looked and it wasn’t flattering at all. Of course, finding your right angle is a life-long journey and you may change it up. For me, I still can’t find a good angle of myself and I change it daily. Make sure you know what way to position your camera best, it will help you later while snapping pictures. It is important to note that everyone has a different level of what they are comfortable sharing with others, our bodies are sacred and we all have different ways we want to share them. Do not let anyone pressure you into sending something you do not want to send. First, you must have a nice, clean background. You do not want anything in the back being a distraction and have the receiver’s eyes focused elsewhere in the photo. Just a note for people who have a penis: Please stop just getting it hard on the toilet and sending a pic from that angle. No one wants to see your dirty toilet and the underwear at your ankles. Also, do not fear the shower. It is an underrated spot when taking a thirst trap. After you get over the fear of your phone getting wet, you truly can do a lot. The water makes your body look extra sexy in pictures.
GRAPHICS BY Rachel Fratt & Jasmine Lillis
On the topic of backgrounds, the right lighting is essential. You do not want the lights to be too dim or too bright, you have to find the perfect balance. Using the flash on your phone is a no, it oversaturates you and draws too much attention. My best tip is just to get a lamp with warm light and just let it shine on you. This will make your body glow and will help draw the focus. This truly changes the game, once I learned this my thirst traps elevated to a whole new level Sending thirst traps is not all about sending your naked body. Having good underwear/lingerie can make for an amazing picture. I believe everyone should have a couple of sexy pairs of underwear to show off, for the bedroom and these traps. For me, as a gay man, jockstraps are my go-to when I want to look and feel my best. As angles are important, so are the poses you do. Whatever feels comfortable and right at the moment probably will look the best on camera. Do not try to stick your non-existent ass out, it still will look as flat as ever (trust me I know). Changing up the poses are also important, you do not want to have the same pose in every picture or you may get blocked for being too boring. Do not reveal all right away, teasing the receiver is what makes it fun. Trying all these different poses will help build the excitement for the grand reveal. Keep teasing until you feel like it is the right moment. Teasing with videos is very fun and captivating, do not be afraid of branching out with a video. The most important thing, on top of being comfortable, is to have fun. Once I learned not to take this seriously, I started receiving better results. I like to think of it as taking these pictures for myself, and other people just are getting the pleasure of viewing them too. There is no right or wrong way to take a thirst trap, as long as you feel sexy about what you send that is all that matters. PAGE 04
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XXX RATED PLAYLIST
Ryan Windle
Arts + Culture Editor Put this playlist on when… well… you’ll know when the mood is right.
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Lingerie Lizzo
Love to Love You Baby Donna Summer
Blow
Beyoncé
LOVE FOOLISH TWICE
Streets
Doja Cat
Sweet Spot Kim Petras
Wild Side
Normani feat. Cardi B
Ungodly Hour Chloe x Halle
my hair
Ariana Grandede
TAIL
SUNMI
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
HOW TO BUILD YOUR DATING PROFILE Numair Younus Staff Writer When you decide to join the online dating community, it can feel overwhelming. There are so many different dating apps and it’s hard to create a profile unique to each platform. Before you decide to put yourself out there you have to understand that not all dating apps are the same. You should find out which dating app is best suited for your needs, and in doing so you’ll be able to find the right person for you. The most important and first thing you need to do when creating your dating profile is to choose your photos. Choosing the right photos for your profile can make your profile more appealing to others and can be the best way to introduce yourself — it’s the first thing everyone notices.
You don’t want people to assume what you look like and have a different impression of you, you want people to see you for who you are and like you as a whole. You want to stay away from photos that change the way you look or filter your face in any way as that may seem “unnatural” and give off the impression that you are not a “real” person. PHOTO BY Cottonbro
A lot of people are suspicious when looking at profile pictures. Even though millions of people use dating apps, there are also a lot of fake accounts or bots online; it’s something to be careful about since you don’t want people to suspect you of the same thing. If the dating app you choose has an option for you to verify your profile picture, it’s safer to go ahead and complete this step to build a better profile. The best pictures to introduce yourself are pictures of you doing the things you like or a hobby you enjoy doing, as this makes you more “likable.” This is not just limited to people who have outdoor hobbies or people who live a very outgoing lifestyle. It can also be a picture of you with things you care about or enjoy talking about. If you enjoy watching anime or reading comic books, maybe you want to show that in your profile. Maybe you really like drawing or decorating your room. That’s something someone else also might enjoy, so you want to show that in your profile pictures to find people who have the same interests and hobbies as you. If you are given the chance to add multiple photos and you are not sure which pictures to choose, here are some of the best pictures to include in your profile. One good photo to include in your profile is a full-body photo, a picture that shows your beauty in its entirety and overall shows who you are. You don’t want people to assume what you look like and have a different impression of you, you want people to see you for who you are and like you as a whole. GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
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Also, another picture you might want to include is one of something you’ve experienced. It may be a picture of you on vacation or even something you’ve done like going skydiving or ice skating. This will make your profile pics seem more engaging; it may be something that draws people into your profile. Another key thing to keep in mind when choosing the right photos is to make sure they are as recent as possible and close to what you look like now. I recommend keeping the photos one or two years old at the most; anything else might be catfishing. After you’ve finished choosing the best pictures to represent you, the next step is of course your bio. When creating your bio you want to make sure it’s something that catches attention, draws people in, and tells them what you’re looking for. A lot of people try to use movie quotes or have some cheesy pickup line in their bio, but it looks corny and turns people away. A lot of people have the same idea as you, and most people use the same cheesy pickup lines. It’s better to have a more interesting bio. Some ways to create an interesting bio are by asking a question or including something that allows people to have a conversation with you. Having a bio that lists some of the things you like to do is something that will help your bio stand out. A lot of people on dating apps aren’t giving much thought when they swipe left or right; they judge your profile based on the few seconds they spend looking at your pictures and reading your bio, that’s why these steps are important. Getting a good match will take time, and it’s not because your photos suck or your bio sucks. It just takes a little time to get noticed by the right person, so you have to be patient. When you match with someone and you want to take that initiative, you want to stand out from others and have an interesting starter. Try to start a conversation with something that is engaging, questions always lead to good responses. After you have done all this, you should be successful in your online dating adventure. You’ll find a lot of people and you might even find the person meant for you. Have fun, be safe, and make sure to enjoy your experience.
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
worries, we are here to help you imprint your appearance in your crush’s mind. Here are five useful tips that you can use to keep your date interested. 1. Avoid yes/no questions
FIVE TIPS TO ENSURE YOUR MATCHES AREN’T TALKING TO A WALL PHOTO BY Denise Duplinski GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
If your conversation seems to have died down, the best solution here is to start asking thoughtprovoking and open-ended questions. Go with questions that require thought. These will not only keep the conversation flowing smoothly, but also show that you are genuinely interested in their story and are eager to know them better. To show that you have been paying attention, ask about something they brought up before. For example, ask “how was the concert last night?” or “what happened with that job interview?” You can also use questions such as “tell me more about XYZ” or “what’s your opinion on...” However, when starting a new topic, keep it light and avoid sensitive topics like politics or religion. You can also ask about their interests, hobbies, backgrounds, or their sense of humor.
Minh Nguyen Staff Writer
2. Be a bit flirty and cheeky
No more letters and pigeon posts. The rapid emergence of dating apps have entirely changed our modern dating lives. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and Grindr have paved an easy path to love, and changed the way people approach it. We can easily talk to the person we like by just swiping the screen. And as the saying goes — easy come, easy go; interest for each other on dating apps can quickly fade with time too. No
Let us not forget that you are both on a dating app. Being a bit flirty is important, since you want to show them you are interested. Try dropping some subtle but not too obvious hints that you are into them. For instance, you can start a conversation with something like, “I saw something that made me think of you.” The key here is trying to be original and genuine. Stop overusing those pick-up lines on the internet.
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3. “Flattery will get you everywhere” Do not be shy about giving compliments when you want to spice things up. Everyone loves receiving compliments. These will make your crush feel good and in turn, make them more likely to respond to your messages. It could be something simple like “I like the color of your eyes” or “I love the way you smile.” Once again, these compliments should be genuine and straight out of your heart. Another small tip is try adding your date’s name to the end of every compliment. This will help you personalize your message and make it more meaningful. 4. Share pictures People love looking at pictures. Since you are both just talking to each other online, your dayto-day pictures will be helpful for your crush to know who you truly are in real life. Also, do not be afraid to ask them to send pics, too, just don’t get pushy or ask for something they are not comfortable sharing. 5. Offer a new platform While texting with your crush is a great start to beginning a new relationship, it can often be misleading because you cannot see your match’s emotions and gestures. Consider offering them the usage of other platforms as a way of communicating, such as a phone call or FaceTime. This is great for when things get dry through messaging. You can say something like “Hi, do you want to FaceTime?” or “I would love to hear your voice. Can I call you?” Trust me, talking on the phone will give out a completely different vibe.
THREE CLASSIC ROMANCE NOVELS TO GET YOU FEELING LOVEY-DOVEY The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Love Story by Erich Segal
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someone crosses a line, block them and report it to the service. After doing all the vetting you deem appropriate, you may want to meet up in person. However, do not rush. Safety tips say that people should take their time before moving the conversation off any app. Be on the lookout for any red flags.
GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
PHOTO BY Khao Vo
HOW TO STAY SAFE ON DATING APPS Nicholas Redmond
Specific aspects of your daily routine are not to be given out indiscriminately. Also, everything ranging from your home address to your social security number shouldn’t be revealed either.
Staff Writer 91 percent of college students use dating apps. For every left and right swipe, each of those 91 percent should be safe to cuff or hook up consensually. It should go without saying that safety should take priority. Four of the most popular dating apps, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and OkCupid, have taken steps to produce as many safe meetups as possible. You may not be able to dictate a person’s actions, but you should be able to protect yourself. Under their respective dating tips, dating websites mention withholding any money and financial information, as people may claim to be in an emergency when they really are not. Once a wire transfer has been made, it is nearly impossible to reverse or trace it. Another tip is to protect your personal information.
Dating sites suggest keeping the conversation on the app. They have safety precautions such as safe message filters that scan for harmful or illegal behavior; the point being that people should get to know someone first before moving the conversation out of a place designed to keep interactions safe. One way people can be safe is by staying wary of long distance and overseas relationships. People can claim to be stuck somewhere and need financial assistance to leave. These dating apps specify that if someone is hesitant to meet in person or even call, they may not be who they say they are. We all have listened to our gut at some point in our lives — for online dating, it should not be any different. If something seems strange or
“I think it’s better to date in person, but in my case I checked out the online dating world because of COVID[-19] and it was ok,” says Elmhurst University junior political science major, George Willer. “I ended up going out with one girl I met online. In my opinion, it’s best to start with small talk and slowly get to know the person without getting into deep and personal things that could stir someone away from you.” It will be both parties’ safest bet to meet in a public place and to stay in a public place. If the date pressures you to any private spot such as their home, end the date. David Castaneda, EU junior sports management major says, “don’t give out personal information, take it slow, meet in a public place.” EU senior psychology and philosophy major Elizabeth Hynes says, “for me when I’m meeting, usually what I do when I’m meeting someone for the first time or in person is to try to meet in a public area.” If at any point the decision to meet up has been made, make sure to tell friends and family members your plans and where you are going. “I will also always text my friends and family. If I’m going to meet this person I don’t know, then I’ll just share my location with [them].” Hynes said. “When you’re meeting someone for the first time, it’s good to be aware. I need to watch out for my safety.” Having planned to meet up with an online date,
RED FLAGS TO AVOID: Gianna Montesano, Editor-in-Cheif LOVE-BOMING EARLY ON WHEN YOU TWO MATCH “YOU UP?”
CALLING THEMSELF AN ALPHA
REFERRING TO WOMEN AS “FEMALES”
RESPONDING LATE AT NIGHT DISREGARDING YOUR BOUNDARIES
WANTING TO USE SNAPCHAT TO COMMUNICATE
THEY LISTEN TO JOE ROGAN OR FOLLOW DAVE PORTNOY 02/01
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be in control of your own transportation. If something happens, people should be able to leave whenever they want. Either driving yourself or having a backup plan (such as a friend to drive or a ride-share app) will be helpful. Drugs and alcohol can impair judgement and their effects vary from person to person. If the date pressures you into consuming drugs or drinking more than you are comfortable with, do not be afraid to hold your ground and end the date. Most dating safety tips advise users of their apps to always know where their drinks are coming from and where their drink is at all times. Make sure drinks are directly poured by the server or the bartender. As a general rule of thumb, keep personal items on at all times as well. It is also important to know that anyone can change their mind at any time. If you feel uncomfortable, you have every right to leave. No one has dominion over anything you do, so no one should be pressured to stay. Get up and go if you want. For some, it may be safer to swipe right on someone if that person may know someone you yourself know. Keely Mulcahy, a senior psychology major, says, “I won’t go out with someone unless I know someone who knows them.” No matter your sexual orientation, everyone is entitled to safe travel. However, dating apps acknowledge that no area is without potential risk. Some countries have developed laws that target people from the LGBTQ+ community, even going as far as criminalizing dating-related communication between same-sex individuals. These countries have been known to use law enforcement to act as members for entrapment. Most apps have a toggle option to prevent users from showing their location. These apps suggest utilizing it if anyone decides to connect with people in these countries. Exercise extra caution and look up laws in the area. Consent, consent, consent — protect yourself and potential sexual partners. Dating apps advise people to know their status regarding STIs. Communication with sexual partners is key. No one is owed sex and consent can be withdrawn at anytime. Check in routinely. Do not proceed if your partner is uncomfortable, unsure, or if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
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HOW TO HAVE THE BEST TINDER HOOKUP HMMM...
GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
Internet Photos
Ryan Windle Arts + Culture Editor While some people are on Tinder trying to find new love, many are on the app with the sole purpose of hooking up. There is no shame in finding people on Tinder to hook up with. Sex is something that humans crave and the app makes it very easy for you to find potential people to hook up with. After a Tinder date, you may find yourself in a situation where you want to hook up, and I am here to give you some of the best tips that I have to make it a memorable experience. I want to put a disclaimer: What works for me may not work for you, and that is completely okay. Everyone’s body is different and enjoys sex in its own unique way; if you try something new and you don’t like it that is completely okay. Everyone has their own preferences, do not feel discouraged. There is no specific definition of what a hookup is, and each hookup is different from the last, so I will try my best to cover everything that may happen — from first base to home run. The most important thing before any hookup is to discuss your boundaries first. While it may be uncomfortable, it is very important to do. You are the owner of your body, and you know what it wants; you are allowed to express what you want and what you do not want. Speaking from experience as someone who has not always set boundaries, you want to do this so you do not walk away traumatized. If at any moment you are not catching the vibe anymore, you have the right to speak up and stop. Do not let anyone continue just for their pleasure — you are supposed to enjoy it as well. How can we enjoy a Tinder hookup? My best tip: PAGE 08
PLEASE GET OUT OF THE DAMN CAR. I cannot even fully express my hatred toward hooking up in a car. It is so uncomfortable — half of the time because you are maneuvering your body in a weird way to make it work for both of you. And cleaning it up after, do not get me started on that pain. This may be because I am 6-foot-2 and most car hookups always have my head bumping against the ceiling. After talking to some of my friends, I found that not a lot of them have enjoyed their hookups in the car either, and they are much shorter than I am. Of course, it is the most convenient place if you are wanting to do it right after, but try your best to avoid the car. It shocks me how people want to get straight to hitting it without doing anything beforehand. To me, kissing is an absolute must because it always can get you in the correct mood. Jumping straight to it does not bring excitement for me, and it always makes me feel as if they want it to be a quick experience just to get it done. As well as people not wanting to kiss, it always throws me off when people ignore oral sex entirely while hooking up. That is what can get you most excited and it helps you relax more, which is important. Of course, discuss boundaries with your partner, but to me this is an essential aspect of a hookup and I think everyone would benefit from it. Safety always comes first and there is no excuse here. Make sure a condom is being worn if you get all the way there. While your partner may say they are all good, you never know and it is better to be safe than sorry. It may dampen the mood, but in order to have the best hookup you have to put your mind at rest and your safety first. 02/01
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
ELMHURSTLEADER.COM
FINDING MY FIRST LOVE THROUGH TINDER it was the summer of many firsts for me. My first date also happened to be the same day as my first kiss, and truly after that day, I wished that I was able to have this experience at an earlier age. It felt almost embarrassing to finally start living at the age of eighteen, but it was a very monumental moment for me. I finally knew the joy of love, and it made me even more desperate to find Mr. Right. In May of 2020, after the first quarantine period, I was swiping everyday trying to find a boyfriend. After many weeks of swiping, I finally found someone. Internet Photo
GRAPHICS BY Rachel Fratt & Jasmine Lillis
Ryan Windle
I was not allowed to have one.
Arts + Culture Editor
I was so jealous hearing all my friends share stories about their first relationships, first kisses, and losing their virginity. I knew I was never going to have the experience I dreamed of, I only could live vicariously through others.
Never would I have thought that my index finger would be the reason I found my first love. Online dating is scary; creating a profile to be judged by others is no easy task. Everything has to be perfect, from the pictures to the bio to even your favorite song. Swiping seems to be a whole new monster; while you fear the judgment of others, you are also judging everyone harshly to try to find the perfect match. I have always been fascinated with online dating platforms. I made my first Tinder account when I was 15, hoping to meet more people like me. I was not surrounded by any LGBTQ+ youth and I felt as if the only place I could find anyone was online through these apps. I did not want a boyfriend when I first downloaded the app, my main goal was to make friendships with other gay teens in my area. Of course I was far too young to really find anyone my age, so I gave up on dating platforms for a while. No one realizes the privilege straight people have when it comes to having these experiences at a young age. Since they are surrounded by many like them, they are able to experience what the media feeds us of what a “normal” teenage experience is like. I too wanted a love story, but 02/01
As I got older, the desire to have a boyfriend only grew stronger. I was not going to find someone in my area so I returned to Tinder after two years, eager to have the summer of my life with my newfound love.
I AM NOT ASHAMED I MET MY FIRST BOYFRIEND THROUGH TINDER.
Swiping again, this time with a set of new eyes, I was enamored with all the LGBTQ+ people on my phone screen. I only knew two other gay people when I graduated high school, so seeing so many in my area made me quite happy. While I did not have the summer of my dreams, PAGE 09
I am not ashamed I met my first boyfriend through Tinder. While I glanced at just a couple of pictures of him on my phone, I almost fell in love instantly and was so grateful we matched. We had an amazing relationship, and we never would have met without Tinder. I instantly got butterflies, we started messaging more and more every day and eventually went on our first date. Within moments of him getting in the car, I knew that we were going to have a beautiful story. I finally was going to experience the love that all my peers told me about, and it was so much better than I could have ever imagined. Nothing lasts forever and this story has sadly ended. I will forever be grateful for this experience, and I am thankful that the internet provided me with this amazing gift. It taught me so much, and now I know what I truly am looking for. While finding love may be at the front of my mind while swiping on numerous dating apps, I also am looking for friendship. Since there are not many gay men around me, I am able to meet so many through these apps, and I have created some amazing friendships based off of a Tinder match. Now, I am at an age where there are possible suitors almost everywhere I go, and at any moment I can look up and find the one. Still, I stay drawn to these apps to help me find new people every day. While my first story may have failed, another love story may currently be in writing, and I can thank it all for the glory that online dating has provided me.
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
HOW I LEARNED TO ACCEPT MY BISEXUALITY Jared Boekenhauer
as seeking attention.
News Editor “I think I’m bisexual. Like. Actually,” I texted a friend on Nov. 10, 2021. This was the moment I accepted, after a year of searching and thinking, that I am bisexual.
Around the time I was working through the mental gymnastics of discovering myself, a close friend of mine came out as non-binary. They posted about it on social media, and made a YouTube channel dedicated to discussing the LGBTQ+ community (they also came out on this YouTube channel).
The whole experience of discovering who you are in terms of sexuality and gender identity can be challenging and overwhelming, and it is an ever changing process. You can go through life thinking that you have to find the “one right answer.” But the reality is, sexuality and gender identity are fluid, so there is no “one right answer.”
They faced unfair criticism, and still held fast to their true identity. This endurance in the face of adversity was admirable to me and it allowed me to see that it does not matter what people think, the only thing that matters in discovering one’s sexuality or gender identity is who you know you are.
I lived as a straight male my whole life until my 20s. Yes, my 20s, until I began to realize my attraction to more than just women. I started to notice men in a way that was beyond platonic, and it got me to question: “What if I am not straight? I mean, I cannot be anything but straight, I would not be with anyone but a woman, right? Or would I?” Which got my mind sprinting.
The love and acceptance my non-binary friend gave themself was something I had finally recognized was necessary before I came out to others. Once I accepted myself, I could come out to my family (who, by the way, were fully supportive).
These thoughts began in the winter of 2020. I can remember Christmas shopping and thinking to myself, “these fellow shoppers can see me as not straight. I do not feel straight. I am different.” But then as I seriously considered the thought of me being “not straight,” I became deflated by the paranoia that nobody would believe me, and that eventually these thoughts would just disappear. As the year went on, however, the thoughts did not just disappear into the void of thoughts that come and go; they held fast, clinging to my brain. I would notice men I found attractive, and again, and again, and again. I was also plagued with the fear that I would be accused of “seeking attention,” an accusation which is unfairly placed on many in the bi community, and that the only way to avoid this was to find the objective “right answer.” And if I ever did accept myself, there would be the persistent struggle of coming out without coming across
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While writing this column, I officially decided to come out to everyone on my friend’s list on Facebook. This includes my extended family, and my friends (close, and not so close). While typing that post on my computer, I was shaking, as each letter of “coming out as bisexual” finally ended up on my screen. I clicked “post” and it was done. As many in the LGBTQ+ community have rightly pointed out, everyone’s story is different, and it is only the individual person who can discover their sexual orientation or gender identity. Acceptance of who you are is one of the many keys to being happy. And just as there is no one way to live life, you are allowed to express yourself and be who you are. For every person who may judge you, there is always someone who will validate you, respect you, and love you for who you are. Simply know that there is no wrong answer when discovering who you are, even if it takes a while, do not worry about fitting others’ standards of sexuality and gender identity. PAGE 10
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
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LET’S TALK ABOUT IT — LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
PHOTOS BY Cottonbro
Kween Jeán
stronger than your mind.
Staff Writer
Long-distance relationships require work, trust, and patience but when you really think about it, what relationship doesn’t? So, if you really like this person, love even, and you want to make your relationship work, here are a few ways you can ensure your long-distance relationship has a fighting chance of survival despite the distance.
To be blunt, long-distance relationships have a bad reputation. Usually, everyone’s first response is that it won’t work out, it’ll be short-lived, and, overall, it’s just a waste of time. There are various reasons why people look down on long-distance relationships but don’t fret. Their opinions are merely projections of their own insecurities. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, and even non-dating social media apps have closed the gap between differences in geographical location. The person of your dreams might be 500 miles away, but thanks to the internet, connecting with others is a lot easier. Long-distance relationships and Gen Z go hand and hand. Don’t throw in the towel and quit the race before it even begins; understand that it’s not mission impossible. So, before you spazz about how difficult it’ll be and worry about how a long-distance relationship can work, let’s start by validating a few emotions, shall we? Straight-up, long-distance relationships can be scary, especially if your love language is either physical touch or quality time. Craving intimacy is a natural desire in relationships and phases of feeling lonely, bored, and even insecure are inevitable. But don’t underestimate the power of your heart. Believe it or not, it’s definitely capable of being
First, talk with your partner. As we all know, communication is key and it is a fundamental piece to any healthy relationship. FaceTime and phone calls are already imperative, but even more so when it is your only form of communication. Discuss what your preferences are and when the best time to reach out is. Some relationships require consistent communication while others honor a stronger sense of autonomy and need limited conversation. If you bond over music, share songs with one another. Also, sending funny tweets and Instagram posts is a fun way to stay in contact throughout the day. It even gives you more topics to talk about which sounds like a win-win. Another way to have a successful long-distance relationship is by doing activities together. Watch a movie with one another, cook dinner, or do something as simple as running errands. Video calling with a planned agenda is a great way to keep calls productive. This way you aren’t just staring at the “paused” screen, which isn’t fun for anyone. Well, unless that’s what you are into.
er, having a trip planned relieves a lot of stress on the relationship. After all, you both deserve a reward after equally putting in the effort to keep your connection afloat. Still, it’s important to stray away from treating your visit like a vacation. Yes, you can have a few dates planned, which is extremely healthy for any relationship, but keep in mind that just being in each other’s presence is enough. Stay in for a few nights and enjoy one another’s company. Also, don’t forget the little things. Popping out is fun, especially for capturing fire Instagram posts and sappy date night TikToks, but remember you can still find moments of intimacy when cooking breakfast together, working out at the gym, or having a game night. This next step might be the most important aspect in all relationships — maintain your independence. Although, being without your partner may feel like a part of you is missing, at the end of the day you were your own person before you started your relationship. Continue to live your own life. If anything, use the time apart to become a better person, and in return, you will show up even better in your relationship. With effort, trust, and effective communication, you might surprise yourself with how well everything goes. Long-distance does not have to signal the end of your relationship and it shouldn’t discourage you from starting one either.
Next, plan a visit to see each other. Unless your money grows on trees and even if it did, you don’t have to visit all the time; howev-
KISS ME THRU THE PHONE
Ryan Windle, Arts + Culture Editor
1.
Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen
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cherry blossom by Kacey Musgraves
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Doughnut by TWICE
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party 4 u by Charli XCX
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Thinking Bout You by Ariana Grande
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Enigma by Lady Gaga
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THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
BE YOUR OWN SUPPORTER, FIVE TIPS TO BEGIN YOUR SELF-LOVE JOURNEY PHOTO BY Mart Productions GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
Gianna Montesano Editor-in-Chief The way self-love is portrayed on social media is revolting, with straight-sized individuals — who are influencers for being attractive — showing off their insecurities, slouching, and not having a flat stomach because of their forced hunchback of Notre Dame-esque posture. “Tell yourself you’re hot, fake it till you make it” is the advice spewed out, but does it work when you have decades-long insecurities caused by not looking like those people telling you to “fake it till you make it?” Absolutely not. In my self-love journey the past 10 years, these five tips have helped me more than any beauty influencer could. I’ve come into my power and recognized that just because I don’t have the same button nose, sharp jawline, or size four body doesn’t mean I am any less valuable than those who do. Delete social media and look back on yourself The pinnacle of all hurt should not be a part of your life when you are trying to fall in love with yourself. Seeing people smaller or bigger than you that you view as more attractive will set you back in your journey. Comparing yourself is the enemy and trying to replicate others is as well. Take the time off social media to develop your own personal style influenced by what makes you feel good, not what is in. If you feel confident in your own style, that is one step to success. Be your own point of reference. Compare yourself to old habits you used to take on; were they good or bad? How have you changed from when you had those habits? Are you stronger, weaker, the same? Reflect and thank yourself for growing into who you are today and apologize to yourself for how you treated yourself in the past. You deserve
compassion and validation, but the first person it must come from is yourself. Date yourself If you’re used to being wined and dined by strangers, but still feel crippling self-loathing, it’s time to get off the dating apps and take yourself out. Or if you hate going out alone, make it a challenge to be comfortable being by yourself. Go to a park with a blanket and read in the afternoon by yourself, have a lunch date for one, or go to a movie. While it may be awkward and filled with side-eyes and comments from friends telling you it’s weird, just remember self-investment should be treated highly in all forms, not just green juices and $200 gym memberships. Seeking comfort and company in yourself is one of the hardest things, but at the end of the day you have to realize you come into this world alone and you’re going to leave it alone. Get comfortable with being by yourself because you’re the only companion you have. Don’t look at yourself While the self-love movement is heavily centered around looking in the mirror and telling yourself you’re a beautiful, sexy force to be reckoned with, it’s not always the best thing. Challenge yourself to not look in any mirror or take any pictures for at least a week. Not focusing on your physical appearance can help you become less aware of what you look like and help you go throughout the day not stressing about every centimeter of your body. Ignoring what’s on the outside will help shift the focus to what’s on the inside. Journaling While this is the most cliche advice, it is the most useful tool to help document your journey to loving yourself. Write a letter to yourself a year from now, focusing on how you want to feel. Write a letter to yourself in your hardest time, when your insecurities were at their worst, and PAGE 12
apologize to that version of yourself. Healing starts from within, it can’t be fixed overnight nor by listening to a self-help podcast. Alongside journaling, use this tool as a way to document why you have felt insecure throughout your life. Was it a person or an event? Was it the media you consumed? Allow yourself to build a blueprint of your life that will dictate what or who you need to cut off, find media that is reflective and conducive to your growth, and set yourself up for success with a timeline of when you would like to see yourself change internally. Change your language Negative self-talk is a beast and a difficult habit to break because it easily becomes ingrained in conversation with friends and family. Reverse the switch on it. Each time you find yourself wanting to say something negative about your appearance, think back to when you were seven years old. Would you tell them they’re ugly, fat, or stupid? No, you wouldn’t. Why allow yourself to be your own hater just because you’re older? You’re still the same person in the same body, desperately seeking compassion and love. Grant yourself that. Once you let go of talking about yourself negatively, you will find you won’t be comparing yourself to others as much because you will realize your insecurities slowly start fading away with each positive word you feed yourself. Also, refrain from commenting on how other people look because you should not talk badly about others to lift yourself up. The competition between you and your social media feed is internal and a result of the patriarchy. Finding self-love and appreciation for the creation that you are is not going to happen in a week, and it shouldn’t. Shatter your old preconceived notions of what you think is beautiful and realize beauty is everywhere because it is unique. 02/01
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LOVE AND SPIRITUALITY
PHOTOS BY Polina Tankilevitch
Staff Writer Did you or someone else recently ask for your birth time? If so, you may or may not be entitled to financial compensation. Astrologically, the Age of Aquarius signifies the expansion of consciousness. This shift, beginning in late 2020, subjected the world to a mindset devoted to discovering truths. These truths led to an increase in political reform, technological advancements, and most importantly, the appearance of mainstream spirituality. Sometimes, the addictive tarot love readings and overgeneralized sun sign compatibility findings are nothing more than a deceptive way of romanticizing toxic relationships. Depending on the reader, messages can contain truth, and, disregarding pseudoscience scrutiny, birth chart interpretations do provide insight for numerous aspects of life. Nevertheless, the energy spent focusing on the TikTok algorithm and engagement-seeking YouTubers could be utilized in a more beneficial manner: developing self-love. Valentine’s Day has its own way of reminding us of the positive, higher vibrational aspects of love and the repressed negative experiences we hope to disintegrate from our memory. In this seemingly never-ending battle, the mind and heart aim to assert dominance over one another. Until balance is reached through healing, some people will always be hesitant to admit that we, as humans, all crave unconditional love. 02/01
GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
To attract the love you desire, you yourself must reflect that love internally. How could you possibly expect this love when you do not even express it to yourself? Despite the rapid growth in popularity of these terms, karmic relationships, soulmates, and twin flame relationships are too often mistaken for one another. Through the haziness of misinformation, retaining an understanding of various romantic relationships gives insight into your current connection. For singles seeking a partner, it remains the same.
Soulmates typically produce good karma as this connection is not the first encounter with each other on Earth — even if you don’t remember it.
To briefly discuss these three relationship types, a karmic relationship pertains to people you have unresolved karma with. Karma is the sum of the cause and effects of your past life actions. Oftentimes, one of your parents may be a karmic, but romantically-speaking, a karmic partnership PAGE 13
reveals our toxic tendencies. The uncomfortable, negative emotions associated with relationships result from this connection. Repeating a cycle from our past lives, common themes such as codependency and the resulting fear-based traits will continue appearing in these connections until the behavior and underlying trauma are rectified, or in the process of healing. Moving to a more fairytale-like relationship, soulmates derive from your soul family. From mentors to friends to lovers, and even to grandmother-granddaughter relationships, soulmates are platonic or romantic, usually described as people you feel you have known before. Soulmates typically produce good karma as this connection is not the first encounter with each other on Earth — even if you don’t remember it. Familiarity is often a characteristic of this type. Both individuals vibrate at similar frequencies, resulting in shared passions and interests, and qualities exemplifying feelings of “home.” This connection is endearing, light, typically positive, and inclusive of someone who attempts to follow your love languages. There are ups and downs, but overall, two of these individuals work through relational issues with ease. Twin flames, formally known as divine counterparts, encompass the concept of the divine feminine (DF) and divine masculine (DM). This is the rarest connection, as less than five percent of the world’s population are twin flames. People obsess over this type, clinging desperately to their false perception of it. Unless you are on the twin flame journey, you will never truly understand the significance of being a divine
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counterpart. Not including the origin of twin flames, unlike soulmates, these partnerships are two individuals who share halves of the same soul. Often mistaken for karmic relationships in terms of the “running and chasing” stage (which promotes elevation through discomfort), divine counterparts are catalysts to each other’s spiritual awakening upon separation.
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THE RECIPE TO LOVE: A LOOK INTO EACH VENUS SIGN PHOTOS BY New York City Library GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
The DF and DM have the power to utilize their time apart to heal childhood wounds, generational trauma, and of course, to discover the depths of self-love. These individuals were created to raise the vibration of the Earth rather than just falling madly in love with one another. Twin flames will only physically reunite when and if there is divine intervention. In the midst of societal pressures enforcing romance at every corner, it’s important to keep your self-identity intact. Your self-awareness and introspection serve as preventative measures against cultivating unhealthy soul ties. To attract your ideal partner, first, you need to become the ideal partner for yourself. Discover your true passions and interests. Figure out why you operate the way you do. There may be habits you want to break or tendencies you want to unlearn. On the other hand, there may be experiences you have always wanted to try but talked yourself out of. Liberate yourself from the shackles you enforce on yourself or others enforce on you. Learn to respect yourself. Get comfortable with your fears and anxieties. Befriend your ego, including the emotions you may be ashamed of. To those deserving, express the love they wish to receive. Investigate your pet peeves. Create and implement boundaries. Do what brings you joy, and if it’s unattainable right now, start the process to reach those goals. Become your own best friend. Give yourself the love you were deprived of, the love you so desperately sought. In terms of love and spirituality, one of the most important relationships to honor is the bond you form with yourself. On this journey, ask yourself: How do I become a better version of myself every day?
Gianna Montesano Editor-in-Chief Venus is more than a Greek goddess and a planet in our galaxy; it’s the archetype for how we love in astrology, what we find beautiful, and how we want to be loved. Understanding astrology at a base level is crucial to understanding the complexities of your birth chart and how Venus transits between the 12 houses and signs. Astrology can be traced back to 2,400 years ago by the Babylonians with the development of the 12 signs everyone subscribes to. However, astrology is more profound than your sun sign — the sign under which you were born. Modern astrology follows Greek mythology and the planets to devise characteristics of what each planet represents under the sign. Venus is a planet that dictates love, beauty, sex, and fertility modeled after the Greek goddess of love. Venus transits in each of the signs’ houses for 23 days before moving on, dictating the overall tone of those 23 days for your life depending on which house and sign Venus falls in. If you want to know where Venus falls in your chart, look up your birth chart online by typing in your birthday, time of birth, and location of birth for the most accuracy. Once you know where your Venus lies, here is how each sign works alongside Venus. Aries Venus Blunt. There is no better way to describe Aries PAGE 14
Venus, who is intense, passionate, and direct with those that they find endearing. They’re not one to wait around because Aries Venus has to have you when they want you; otherwise, they will move on. They’re natural flirts and are charismatic individuals. Being alone has never been an issue for them because of how much they pull and keep their lovers wanting more. Taurus Venus Venus rules the sign of Taurus, so those who have a Taurus Venus are walking love spells, entrancing everyone with their beauty, romance, and sensuality. They are romantics from the moment they find out what romance is, spoiling their lovers in every way with luxurious gifts, food, memories, and euphoric feelings, if you know what I mean. They are pleasers first, humans second. If you break their heart, they will never forget you or move on. Gemini Venus Communication and intellect are vital for any Gemini Venus in a relationship. They need to feel heard and need somebody on the same level of intelligence. A Gemini Venus won’t care if you’re done up to the nines, they care if you’ve read all of Michel Foucault’s library and then some. However, they do get bored quickly, so you have to communicate and meet their needs to keep them around constantly.
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CRYSTALS TO IMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIFE GRAPHICS BY Jasmine Lillis
Rose Quartz for bringing more love into life.
Red Tiger Eye for elevating passions.
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Continued from PAGE 14 Big-eyed and big-hearted, Cancer Venus individuals fall hard and fast, and dwell forever. They’re known for giving their lovers their all.
These fiery centaurs are fiends for freedom, excitement, and spontaneity in their relationships. While Sagittarius Venus likes to roam the streets freely, they are looking for their life partner who will be down to do anything with this sign to keep the passion alive.
They are emotional lovers who cannot fathom losing you, only loving you no matter how you treat them. They value commitment and security in their life and they expect just that so if you fall for one, it’ll be hard to have them let you go.
They don’t like feeling restricted, but they want to feel like they belong to somebody who does not suffocate them or hold them back. Sagittarius Venus individuals have an itch to constantly grow and explore their world.
Leo Venus
Capricorn Venus
Adoration is the game and Leo Venus is the name. A Leo Venus must be the center of attention in their lovers’ life. Constant validation and adoration are not only a suggestion but a requirement. They are magnetic forces and draw in people like a fly attracted to honey.
The mind masters of the zodiac, these individuals will allure their partner by exhibiting self control, stability, and responsible behavior. They have an amazing front, it will be difficult to pick them apart because they are so rigid. However, a Capricorn Venus in love will reveal themself to be the softest and understanding individual, willing to do anything for their partner in private, but keep up a facade in public.
Cancer Venus
Bright, passionate, and confident are a few words to describe Leo Venuses and they want to feel that way all the time. They will put their partners on a pedestal, but the partner cannot forget who is the monarch of the relationship — the Leo Venus. Virgo Venus Analytical and calculated, Virgo Venus has one goal in mind and it is picking the most perfect person in the room and finding a way to fix them. A closed-off demeanor often leaves people questioning if they actually like you or not, but communicating and expressing emotions isn’t their strong suit. Libra Venus
Carnelian for self-empowerment, boldness, and joy.
Similar to Taurus Venuses, Libra Venus individuals are ruled by the planet and love to be loved. A Libra Venus thrives in relationships and often is looking for their mirroring self in their partner. They can be pretty particular, but their fine tooth combing will often result in them feeling as validated and loved as they feel they should be. Scorpio Venus A strong magnetic pull allures lovers into the presence of the dark, sultry, and passionate Scorpio Venus. Intimate beings, they love privacy and keeping their partners and desires all to themselves. Their relationships from the beginning are a whirlwind, transformative, and can be kind of destructive. Sagittarius Venus
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Aquarius Venus There is nothing an Aquarius Venus craves more than having a deep mental and emotional connection with their partner. Aloof at times and extremely detached, it may be difficult to gauge whether or not an Aquarius Venus will want you or not. They’re not ones to verbally express their desires for you. They rather comment on your intelligence, personality, or vulnerability. Connection is vital for these air sign lovers, often seeking out romantic relationships with their friends since the bond is already there. Or they pursue their love interests as friends first because if there’s one thing this Venus sign loves, it’s a friends-to-lover trope. Pisces Venus Rose-eyed and daydreaming into a new reality, Pisces Venus are some of the most entrancing and charming Venus signs. They love the idea of love, cooking up scenarios with their crush, and polluting themselves with delusions. They often fall in love with the idea of the person instead of the person themself. Pisces Venus are also thoughtful lovers, willing to go to the ends of the Earth for their lover with extravagance galore and dates that could remind you of a princess movie. They are lovers first and realists second, living in their rose-colored world.
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HOLLYWOOD RELATIONSHIPS WE NEED FINDING YOUR FLATO TALK ABOUT VOR, THE EPITOME OF 2000S DATING SHOWS
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Ryan Windle Arts + Culture Editor
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Olivia Rill Staff Writer Have you been paying attention to your favorite celebrity relationships? Well I definitely have, and it is no secret that right now some of our favorite celebs are falling in love. After the Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello breakup, everyone needs a spark of hope again. Not sure what your FYP looks like, but it seems like a few too many perfect couples are ending things these days. In an effort to boost spirits, let’s take a moment to explore three couples that the world cannot get enough of. Which couples do we love and need to talk about? Starting with none other than the most recent Spiderman and MJ, Tom Holland and Zendaya: Need I say more? After a lot of assumptions, some sleuthing, and a few Instagram posts, it has been basically confirmed this couple is the real deal. Holland is turning into America’s sweetheart and Zendaya is a powerhouse of a woman. Both deserve nothing less and I am here for it. Next up, Hollywood’s newest couple: Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian. These two seem to be the most talked-about couple at the moment.
GRAPHICS BY Rachel Fratt & Jasmine Lillis
While some say this is an unforeseen match, a lot of people are shipping the two together. There has been an increase in paparazzi pictures these past few weeks along with the couple’s SNL appearance, which is proving to make Kanye West, Kardashian’s ex-husband, a bit angry. West recently released a song called “Eazy” as a diss track to Davidson. All in all, the couple is entertaining and if they are happy, I cannot judge that In an exciting turn of events, Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox just recently sealed the deal with a ring on Fox’s finger. This is the couple many thought would not last, but after dating for two years, they finally have decided to get married. Whether you do or not, there is no denying they are a statement of a couple and it is exciting to see their families coming together. Keep an eye out for wedding content coming soon, it sure will be interesting to watch. As for the rest of our celebrity couples, well, we’ll just have to wait and see. The world is ever-changing, and so are couples. Let us enjoy the bliss of these happy couples while we can. While this was only scratching the surface of favorite couples, keep watch as relationships are always budding along with new speculation on who is dating whom. PAGE 16
While most people watch dating shows to see people falling in love, I am only interested when there is iconic reality TV drama present. “Flavor of Love” is one of the first reality dating shows, airing on VH1 in 2006 for three seasons. It follows a group of girls attempting to win rapper Flavor Flav’s love, but this show was made for the drama. I cannot express my love for this show. I found this show on YouTube my freshman year of high school and have been hooked ever since. When you hear me talk, nine times out of ten you will hear me quoting this show; it is TV gold that has shaped me into the person that I am today. This show gave us the icon and legend, Tiffany “New York” Pollard, who truly is the backbone of this show. Every time Pollard is on the screen she says something memorable. I cannot tell you how many times I quote “does it look like I give a fuck because I don’t.” It is so funny to watch these girls try to win over this rapper they obviously don’t want to be with. They really are there to have a good time on TV, making some money. Since this is the first show of its kind, the drama seems so authentic, which makes it all the better, there truly is no dull moment. This show is mandatory viewing. All the episodes are very easy to find, and truly will be the best TV you ever will watch.
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EDITORIAL She’s witty, flawless, iridescent, and whimsical. She’s strong, resilient, and omnipotent. To many, she would be the dream woman. To us, she is The Leader. The Leader is looking for some new matches, and we are hoping that you swipe right on joining us. While our typical editorials may attempt to invoke change on a campus-wide level, this one is an attempt to change your life. To be completely upfront, we need people to help us on The Leader. We are hoping that some of you lovely readers want to join us in a long-term relationship. There are so many aspects of what we do here at The Leader, it strictly does not just come down to student journalists. We are a safe space for anyone on campus, with members of our staff varying in different majors. We have journalism majors, English majors, and computer science majors all a part of our staff and we are looking to diversify it more. In journalism a voice is important, and we want to create a staff that reflects various voices to continue the tradition of having a robust newspaper where readers feel reflected. Without the team of editors and our faculty adviser, The Leader would cease to exist. It’s readers and writers like you that keep us alive and published, but we need your continued support and participation. Being on The Leader is like being in a relationship. She’s always on your mind, you devote your days to her, and you work on creating work that will build her up.
THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
editors are through the dating profiles shown, there is so much more to our staff than you could ever imagine. When you see us all walking as a group on campus, there is no denying that we are having a good time. If you want to stalk our social media pages, as anyone does when they first match with someone, our Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter are all under the handle @elmhurstleader, or check out our Spotify @leadernewsec. If you want to set up a date or have any questions, email gmont0454@365.elmhurst.edu. With any dating profile, of course, this is just a tease of who we are and what we do at The Leader. Anyone is welcome to join us on a “date” at our meetings every Tuesday in Old Main 107 from 11:45 a.m. to 12:45 p.m. We hope you don’t end up ghosting us, and we are looking forward to meeting you soon.
ELMHURSTLEADER.COM
Letter to Editor Submissions Letters to the editor can be submitted below or sent to leadernewsec@gmail. com. Letters must include your full name and Elmhurst University affiliation. All letters should be 300 words or less in length. The editors retain the right to edit letters before publication. Don’t forget to spell-check! The Leader is the student-run newspaper speaking to students, faculty and administrators of Elmhurst University. The Leader is not submitted to any person or organization for prior approval. The contents are the decision of the editor in agreement with the editorial board. Opinions expressed in The Leader do not necessarily reflect those of the paper or its staff, and are not intended to represent those of EU at-large. All text, photos and art cannot be reproduced without direct permission of The Leader.
DATE THE LEADER EDITORS
Gianna Montesano, Editor-in-Chief
Olivia Janicke, Copy Editor
Human encloypedia when it comes to astrology and psychic when it comes to reading men.
Whether I like you or not is, unfortunately, unclear to both of us.
Jared Boekenhauer, News Editor
Ryan Windle, Arts + Culture Editor
Avid reader and a lover of horror movies.
Too slay for a one sentence bio, follow my ig @ryan_windle to learn more.
The Leader stands out amongst other organizations because we’re unique in our mission — unbiased reporting to provide accurate news to the campus community with no prior review. Throughout the years, The Leader has collected numerous prestigious awards for the work published each year in statewide competitions against other universities such as Northwestern University and the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Only a fool would pass up having these accolades under their belt. While you can get a glimpse of who each of our
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ELMHURSTLEADER.COM
THE LEADER’S LOVE GUIDE
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ADVERTISEMENT
Your Column Here ur o y e H av ard e h voice
Writ nu an e ab o ut ce d is su e s
C O N TA C T GIANNA MONTESANO @ gmont0454@365.elmhurst.edu
TO AUDITION FOR A COLUMN
CARTOON BY Jasmine Lillis
When I was little, I spent countless hours fantasizing about my future partner.
I was a die-hard romantic consuming a daily diet of romantic comedies and unattainable fairytales.
I love the way Juan rolls over with laughter when hearing a wellexecuted joke.
And I love the way his brain pieces things together.
I hoped and dreamed for a too-perfect hero to enter my life.
Gladly, I've grown out of that phase, so imagine my surprise when I met my special someone.
Which feels pretty cringe to say now.
I love the way Juan's eyes light up when he smiles.
And the way he stands up for the things he believes in.
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Juan is not a perfect person. We're two imperfect people, but together we fit.
I hope this upcoming Valentine's Day you are with your significant other or, if not, you're happy and feel loved.
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JOIN US AT OUR WEEKLY MEETINGS ON TUESDAYS FROM 11:45 A .M. TO 12:45 P.M. IN OLD MAIN 107 (OR SOMETHING)