MANDY NOLAN’S
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A SOBERING TALE
I love a glass of wine. 6pm is wine o’clock. It’s how I turn off from the day. There’s nothing I love more than a glass of red while I’m making dinner. Except, it’s never one glass, rarely two. More like three, sometimes four. If I am out socially, it’s more like seven. Who knows – I often lose count. I am a good time girl. I’m the life of the party. I’m outrageous, and funny and rude. I love to talk. A lot. And repeat myself. And dance. And laugh. Not so big on listening though. They should put that in the adverts ‘Warning: alcohol affects your ability to listen’. For me drinking is social. It’s hanging out with the girls. It’s dinner. It’s on the balcony enjoying the dusk with my husband. It’s Christmas Day. It’s Boxing Day. It’s Friday night. I’m not an alcoholic… yet – although I reckon if alcoholic was midnight; I’d be quarter to 12. Like most people I know alcoholism is in my genes. My father was an alcoholic. He drove drunk into another car, killed himself and an innocent man. He was 30. I’m 53. I’ve not drunk for long periods of time. I’ve never woken up hanging out for a hair of the dog. I’m not a day drinker. I don’t sneak booze. I’m socially acceptable, so I must be okay. Mustn’t I? Alcohol dependence can sneak up on you. It’s part of every occasion. It’s part of Australian culture. It’s part of our daily routines. You’re not judged for having a glass of wine. It’s classy. It’s what ladies do. It’s easy to fall into bad patterns with your social drinking. Particularly when you’re busy. It’s an easy way to slow down and relax when you’re running at pace. It’s a boozy weekend away for your brain. A delicious inebriated fuzz. Except, you pay. You pay with your energy levels. You pay with your poor sleep and your 3am wake ups where you conduct a shame audit on what you said to who, who you repeated a story to ten times, and who you fell asleep on. I stopped once for a few years. I had gone through a long period of unhappiness and had got into a habit of having a bottle of wine when the kids went to bed and
STARS BY LILITH ARIES: With Venus and Mars in clean up your act mode, little things mean a lot right now; meaning fuss and bother if you don’t attend to them, appreciation and reciprocation if you do. In business, since you can be generous to a fault, don’t embark on anything new by undercharging. TAURUS: If you’ve been doggedly holding onto a particular POV, and feeling somewhat boxed in, there’s nothing at all to stop you widening your mind’s horizon. Or opening up to new, unusual or untried ideas. Don’t engage with trolls, time wasters and energy vampires this week; do something daring. And caring… GEMINI: Look who’s thinking big, spending generously, and attracting attention with their entertaining presence! But be warned it’s a combustible week, full of drama-queeny behaviour and egos on parade. Sure you’re ready to gun the engines and blast off, but with five slow-moving outer planets in retrograde, a measured approach works best. CANCER: The Lion’s fiery drive adds a dose of outgoing oomph to this week’s fortune cookie, inviting you to life outside the Crab cave. Weekend new moon encourages expanding your options by letting go of constricted or limiting expectations, because right now existence just isn’t in the mood to cooperate with boring, ordinary wish lists.
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ringing friends for a chat. Drink dialling. The iPhone could do with a blood alcohol app so that it locks out after .05. If you can’t drive, you also shouldn’t phone. After one night I rang my friend sheepishly and confessed: ‘I don’t remember hanging up’. She said ‘That’s because you talked for about an hour and when I said something you fell asleep.’ So I’ve stopped. It’s not hard actually. I’m not struggling. It’s been two weeks and I already feel clearer. I am sleeping better. I feel more relaxed. I’m getting up for a sunrise walk most mornings. I’m more efficient in my workday. I haven’t felt a single twinge. I have tripled my water intake. I’m enjoying being sober. I approached it as something I was going to do that was positive for my health, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out.
Like most people I know alcoholism is in my genes. My father was an alcoholic. He drove drunk into another car, killed himself and an innocent man. He was 30. I’m 53.
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The only thing I would like is another word for sober. It means serious, solemn. And I don’t like ‘straight’ either. I might as well say I’m boring. And I actually feel a lot less boring. When I go out now I shut up and I listen to people. Of course, most of the people I am listening to are drunk. But I can’t complain. I feel, in some strange way, that it’s my karma.
This week’s Sun, Mercury and weekend new moon in Leo want to do it big, Mars and Venus in Virgo want to do it right…
LEO
LEO: Sun, Mercury and annual new moon in Leo sashay down the astral catwalk this week putting your talents on display and giving you permission to shamelessly self-promote. During which, you may question a deeply held belief. Does it need releasing for something that better fits the person you’ve become? Time to raise the bar?
SAGITTARIUS: With Jupiter retrograde in the sign of groups don’t be surprised if some collaborations cool, while others come up for consideration and assessment. But don’t let this stop you from engaging with people in whichever parts of the world you’re able to, and connecting with like-minded friends, even at a distance.
VIRGO: As Mars and Venus in Virgo continue dealing you romantic realists the charm card, why not take advantage of their energetically sexy and affectionate vibes? Leave aside all the heavy lifting and emotional processing you’ve being doing lately, and take some personal space to enjoy this super-simpatico synch-up in your sign.
CAPRICORN: The current transit asks Capricorns ‘Could you go farther faster by teaming up, by merging your assets and resources?’. And it comes with a caution about projecting your own standards onto others… If this week aggravates your natural stubbornness, that will only limit your enjoyment of this fun-loving transit, so stay negotiable.
LIBRA: This week’s astral mandate is aptly expressed by Libran author Ursula Le Guin: Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. Use this time to streamline your routines, your budget and schedules and for creating new habits to keep you balanced…
AQUARIUS: Plenty of positive possibilities and exciting potential on this week’s Aquarian storyboard. But Augusts’ vibes are quite fixed, and when the planets dig in their heels, humans tend to follow suit. If people are too strongly committed to their own agendas – best you don’t join them, lest stubbornness become a stumbling block.
SCORPIO: As this week’s romantic antics exercise your theatrical talents, admiring fans might find you so dramatically attractive that small acts of humility may be necessary to counteract ego-inflation. Should someone pry into your private life or invade your boundaries (so not your favourite thing), advise them kindly what’s not up for discussion. Resist using the sting
PISCES: Mars and Venus in Virgo, your opposite sign on the zodiac wheel, help Pisceans employ their emotions and feelings more effectively. Pisces like to be of service, and as a mutable sign you excel at shifting things around. This week your practical application of love might be moving someone’s viewpoint.
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