www.echo.net.au/soap-box
MANDY NOLAN’S
SOAPBOX
HIPSTERS ARE DEAD. WHAT’S TRENDING NOW‌ With apologies to anyone who’s been giving up their weekends to grow a turmeric beard or bang up a palette cot for their newborn‌ the hipster movement is over. The slow cooked meat, eating your eggs from a breadboard and macramĂŠing your pubic hair into a stubby holder for your craft beer era is over. Thank you. You’ve given me more than you know. Not just endless jokes at your expense, but damn it if you don’t run a fine cafe. You made flannelette shirts so expensive, farmers had to start wearing hi vis instead. I would like to thank you for really improving the general appearance of chinless men, and for making my tattoo-free body something unique. You see, clean skin is the new tattoo – I’m now graphically deviant. Years from now, young people will gasp at the shocking sight of my un-inked arms. They’ll recoil muttering ‘how disgusting.’ They’ll know I was an old lady with a story. The hipster trend has been at peak zietgeist for well over a decade. It’s clearly time for a new trend. Who decides? The young. They decide. They have always decided. As soon as old people start adopting your trend, it’s dead in the water. I don’t really do trends anymore – it’s too much effort, and I’m too worried I’ll look like a try-hard. Unfortunately, being a try-hard has never been on-trend, otherwise Christians would be cool. There was a time however when I was a shameless trend follower. Trends are usually about fashion, music, haircuts and lifestyle choices. It’s never just fashion alone. My first major trend adoption was a three week attempt at being ‘punk’. This involved buying lace-up black boots and hand drawing an Anarchy sign on them, dying my hair black and shaving the sides and wearing lots of eyeliner. I joined an Anarchist group who met at a place called Annares; named after the planet in Ursula Le Guin’s Hainish Cycle, which was settled by Odionian separatists in exile from its double planet Urras. This ambiguous utopia was populated by surly-faced Brisbane punks, who knew a Queensland Summer was too hot to wear rubber, but pushed on. Makeup sweated off faster than you could apply it. I also did the typesetting for an anarchist publication – the only article I remember was about why it was our duty to shoplift to bring down capitalism. I could overthrow David Jones one stolen g-string at a time but I lost interest‌ well, I got caught subverting the dominant paradigm. So I tried being a mod. This meant having to watch Quadrophenia and relate to angst-ridden postal workers – hence the Vespa. Girls sat on the back. Mod boys were too small to contend with a girl like me. When I sat on the back, the front wheel no longer touched the street. So I became a grunge-swampyfeminist. A Goth. It involved growing armpit and leg hair and telling everyone to get fucked. I was a natural. Except, staying pale was a problem because I have naturally olive skin. Oh how I longed for the pallid complexion of the unwell. I learnt how to dance in a lurching backwards forwards motion, and I got to listen to Nick Cave, which I actually liked, and a whole bunch of bands I used to pretend to like. I secretly loved Bruce Springsteen. Trends are exhausting and have this cult-like effect of curating your hair, your mind and your mix tape. So what’s post-hipster? Urban creatives? (Yuccies) Cutesters? They’re adults who dress like little kids wearing beanies and teddy backpacks. What about Normcore? That’s mum jeans and slippers, and unfashionable outdated bumbags and pyjamas. Hang on‌ I still wear that shit‌
I have a trend prediction. I’ve seen a lot of young people in mullets. I have to admit they look good. Old people in mullets look like they’re on parole, young people look like they’re on a Paris catwalk. It’s soft bogan. Bogan Goth. Eco-Bogans. What do you think? What is your trend prediction for 2020?
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CWA – THE COUNTRY WITCHES ASSOCIATION FIRST MEETING! Welcome to the inaugural first meeting of the CWA! The (dis)organisation everyone’s been waiting for! The Country Witches Association! Tired of waiting for change, creative women around the world are getting ready to stir the political cauldron – bringing comedy and music to the boil, to facilitate dangerous dialogues and uncomfortable collaborations! Irish troubadour and Country Witch founding member Ă ine Tyrrell says, ‘If you’re not doing something the church would have burnt you for 400 years ago, then you’re just not witching properly‌ or enough‌ or at all!’ Comedian and co-founder Mandy Nolan believes it’s time for a movement for busy women who love tea but can’t be bothered baking cakes. ‘As performers we
Purple Rain, Purple Rain Purple Rain, Purple Rain Purple Rain, Purple Rain I only Wanted to See you Bathing in the Purple Rain – Prince
www.echo.net.au/byron-echo Byron Shire Echo archives
get a bit tired of sticking to the rules, so the idea of the CWA is to unleash our more deviant selves. This is a creative space to navigate topics at a deeper level than you’d do in a traditional pub format. Everyone in the entertainment industry has to play it safe but we don’t want to. Playing it safe is boring. And it just won’t bring change. We really want to stir the pot on stage and in the audience.’ The CWA First Meeting format invites the audience to participate by becoming members and suggesting
topics for the Agenda, for Mandy and à ine to discuss. This will be one of the show’s highlights as it has an unscripted, improvised format decided by the audience. The content will form the basis of the CWA podcast, to be recorded as part of this innovative live show at the Brew House Theatre, at the Byron Brewery on Friday 20 December. Limited tickets – $25. Doors open 7.30pm, show 8pm. Tickets on mandynolan.com.au or ainetyrrell.com
THIS WEEK
OPEN MIC NIGHT
HOUR
W/ HARRY NICHOLS
4-6PM
STREET LEVEL
HAPPY
DOVI | GOOSEBUMPS
NAUGHTY PRINCESS | Z.I.V
BOOGS MARKET MEMORIES
DRAPHT
HAPPY
L33ZE
ROUND TOWN PRESENTS
KAISER SOUZAI
YETI | PRIMAL SUSPECT
HOUR
4-6PM
HAPPY
HOUR
4-6PM
FREE
BREWERY TOUR 2PM
FREE BREWERY
TOUR 2PM
MILTON MONTENEGRO | KAI NOON
FOR MORE DE TAILS VI S I T W W W .BYRONBA YBRE W E RY.C OM.A U mĹ&#x;ưĕŔćĕſ ÇŠÇŽÇ˝ NJǧǨǰ The Byron Shire Echo 35