Mandy Nolan’s
SOAPBOX
MAGICAL OUTDOOR THEATRE EVENT
S E E M O R E O F M A N DY O N E C H O N E T DA I LY W W W. E C H O. N E T. A U /S OA P - B OX
A FEW OF MY LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS
I thought that as you got older you became nicer. I think that’s old-person propaganda. I’m fast becoming an arsehole. As I get older I realise that if I were Julie Andrews singing a song to motherless children frightened of the storm, I wouldn’t be comforting them by crooning about paper packages tied up with string; I’d be bitching about how I never get paper packages tied up with string any more, I don’t have a doorbell or a sleigh bell, and if someone does knock it’s just the guy from the post office in his hi-vis vest delivering something one of the kids has bought through eBay and I’m going to have to pay for. I’m off carbs so schnitzel with noodles is a no-go for me. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes are generally oppressed by gender stereotypes and global warming is causing far too many silverwhite winters to prematurely melt into spring and, unlike Tony Abbott, I don’t think it’s some sort of Bureau of Meteorology conspiracy. I have a much longer list of my least favourite things than most. In a world full of people singing Let it Go, I am really focusing on sweating the small stuff. There’s just not enough attention to detail anymore. I am fast becoming allergic to the world. I don’t appreciate ibis – not the hotel chain; the native bird that’s evolved into some sort of giant flying rat that insists on turning what was already a mediocre al fresco dining experience into a mini-trauma by stealing a cold chip from the corner of my mouth. And then there’s the attentionseeking people who post shit on Facebook like: ‘Darling, I am the luckiest woman alive because you are so amazing’. And then all your friends ‘like it’ and feel like shit because their partner didn’t post anything about them on Facebook. I mean if you are lying in bed with Mr Fricking Amazing, tell him yourself and leave the rest of us out of it. I can’t stand people who actually enjoy exercise and talk about it like it’s a conversation subject I am remotely interested in. Are they just telling me because I’m fat and telling me how disciplined they are makes them feel better about themselves? I secretly wish they get attacked by ibis scavenging for Lorna Jane exercise wear.
I don’t like people looking at my groceries and thinking they just learnt something about me. Neither am I fond of people who smoke on the beach and then drop their butt in the sand, and then get in their hippy kombi with a sticker that says ‘Coexist’. Those new lightbulbs that cost $7 each and are supposed to last five years but always seem to blow within two months inflame a deep sense of electrified rage. I was devastated when I left my $300 hair iron in a hotel room and when I rang an hour after my departure to locate it the reception told me, ‘Housekeeping haven’t reported finding anything’. I hate that the bitch in housekeeping now has smoother hair than I do, especially after the other day when someone said to me, ‘Are you okay, Mandy; are you taking too much on?’ because my hair was frizzy and wild and I had to say, ‘No, this is what I actually look like’. I hate that I spent $300 to conform to a hair trend and I hate knowing that I will eventually spend it again because now I’m worried I look crazy. (I don’t mind being crazy, I just try to make sure my ‘look’ doesn’t match.) I hate group emails that tell me I am special that need to be forwarded on so that the sender can check that I respond to their emails. This never makes me feel very special. In fact, it makes me feel that I am someone that they don’t care about offending. I hate booking air tickets online for my family and being charged a credit card fee of $7.50 for EVERY transaction. With seven people that’s more than $50 in fees. I hate those automatic default buttons that make me give $2 to the ‘starkids’ – a photo of cute little poor kids that is supposed to make me feel some sort of compassion bonding with Jetstar and induce more brand allegiance. I would prefer the option to donate my credit card fees to aforementioned ‘star kids’ and make a real difference. I hate paying for a hotel room and then another $30 to park my car. I was complaining to a friend who said, ‘Oh well, they’re just third-world problems’. Yes, she really was that stupid, but it’s not her fault – she’s blond like me. Then an ibis swooped down and stole HER last piece of delicious deep-fried haloumi and suddenly things didn’t seem… so bad!
In this day of smart phones and internet dating, where so much is instant but so little is present, this has to is appealing.
Songs and instrumentals, some arrangements of well-known traditional and Piazzolla tangos, some composed. Music will range from sassy cabaret to Tell me about the players in beautiful and melancholic songs Tango Noir. and pieces with lots in between. They are all superb players and have We will chat between songs and forged musical careers and accolades there will be space set aside in their own right. They take my music for dancing. As I mentioned, all and ‘make it more’, which is the best the players are amazing and thing a writer could hope for. They I understand the piano in the are Phil Carroll on accordion, David Byron Theatre is really good and Paterson on piano, Atilla Kuti on violin so all the elements are in place and Caerwen Martin on cello (I’m on for a great night. vocals and mandolin). Byron Community Centre on What should we expect for your Friday at 8pm. Tix at the venue. show at the Byron Theatre?
North Coast news daily: www.echonetdaily.net.au
GIANT SOUNDS OF THE JUNGLE
Brisbane-based four-piece The Jungle Giants have been kicking some serious music butt this year. Just back from the US, the crew talk it up before their gig at the Hotel Great Northern on Thursday.
THUR.
22 OCT
First is to go to Hooters, then Shake Shack. We’re playing some CMJ shows in NYC first, and then moving around the country for a handful of other shows.
7
TH
LIVE ON LISMORE TRAIN STATION
How do you approach your live shows?
For me, energy is just as, if not more, important than tightness. I approach every show going, ‘Okay let’s see how crazy we can make Tell me how you guys came to be people. Maybe there are some people here who feel like going heading to the US? nuts but they haven’t found an We have been touring for years here in Australia and have always excuse yet?’ We want everyone getting into it. wanted to tour over in the states. We went to SXSW the year before What have been your show/ career highlights so far? last and had some insane shows. We met some crazy fans, and I’d say touring with Two Door we’ve really been hanging out to Cinema Club was a definite go back. highlight. We learnt so much What are your plans when you get over there?
ND
from those guys and got to play some insane venues. Big Day Out tour is also up there. One recent one is a show we just did about four days ago in Sydney. We played at the Enmore Theatre. It’s a huge wicked venue that we’ve seen heaps of bands at. I saw Dandy Warhols there. Anyway, we packed it out and played one of the best shows we’ve ever had. One of the best nights ever for us so far.
In association with African Leaf
Tickets:
2nd
$20
Friday October
(only at door) including a chance to Win 2 x 5 Day Bluesfest passes
What should we expect for your Byron show? PERIWINKLE PRESENTS
We’ve been putting heaps of time into our stage show, matching it with lighting in a way that is absolutely nuts. It’s a definite assault on the eyeballs, plus a nice mix of old and new tracks.
RUTH ROSHAN & TA N G O N O I R
The Cassettes
The Great Gordo Gamsby World's Strangest Strongman
The Pitt Family Circus
MC Shep Huntly
Simi Capelli
Swing On In Dancers
Saturday S tur rd da d ay O October cttobe 1 c 10 0F From r m7 7:30pm :3 30 0p M ullum Civic u C vic Hall Ha H allll Mullum D
8pm Friday, October 2 Byron Theatre, Byron Community Centre 69 Jonson St, Byron Bay
Tickets: byroncentre.com.au or call 6685 6807 Presale $25, Doorsale $29 www.ruthroshan.com
ts Ticke 5 2 $ $20 ird $ ly Bir Ear y
Light S L Supper u e a and nd Bar rD Drinks s available purchase. va v al b blle for p ur hase Live Music: Big BYO Live ve M usiiccc: Bossy us B Bo B Heart t 18+ 8+ Event v nt t No N B YO Y O
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Search: r h: h Pe P Periwinkle er er riiwin P Preschool hoo Events Ev E v nts ts Purchase P u ha a tickets at a www.trybooking.com/148391 t y kin om/ /11 8391 91
The Byron Shire Echo September 30, 2015 25