SOAP BOX S E E M O R E O F M A N DY O N E C H O N E T DA I LY W W W. E C H O. N E T. A U /S OA P - B OX
Is there anything you can’t use coconut oil for? Apparently not. As it turns out the humble coconut is the solution to all our first-world problems. Supermodel Miranda Kerr swears it’s the secret to being such a hottie. She reckons she can’t go a day without ingesting at least four tablespoons. She even drinks it in her green tea.
hair shampoos or medications. Coconut oil is the solution. It’s a chapstick for cracked lips, a deodorant, a sunscreen, a laundry detergent – and a toothpaste. And good news for mums: It’s also good for cracked nipples, torn perineums and nappy rash. It can even be used as a lice treatment; it can lower Gwenyth Paltrow likes to use it as cholesterol; and according to what the internet loosely refers a post-soak moisturiser; Angelina to as ‘research’ it can not only Jolie has it for breakfast; Jennifer prevent Alzheimer’s but can Aniston uses it to lose weight reverse it. Wow, all that medical because as we all know she is so research, all those clinical trials disgustingly fat. and all we had to do was change You can throw away everything grandma’s salad dressing? I you own and simply replace tried it on my nanna and she it with coconut oil. No need wasn’t impressed: ‘I’m not eating that shit’. That’s probably why for expensive lotions, soaps,
I’VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS
she never looked anything like Miranda Kerr or Angelina Jolie. For menopausal women suffering from the unfortunate condition known as ‘dry vagina’, may I suggest coconut oil? It’s also a wonderful sexual lubricant. (While I can see the merits, I don’t know if I’d want to use the same product for sex and toothbrushing as Nanna was eating on her breakfast.) And before you think I’m being too simplistic, don’t forget we can also use coconut water. It’s not just good for your internal organs; if you use it to wash the car it eliminates rust. I used it on my car and you won’t believe it, after just three washes my Toyota Yaris became a Honda Civic. Now two years on I’ve got a Porsche.
With coconut oil you don’t need to fluoridate the water. Just a couple of drops and everyone has white teeth and well-lubricated genitals. It even doubles as vaccination. Coconut oil is also apparently good for depression. It works by giving someone so much coconut oil they eventually say ‘No more coconut oil’ and you take it away and they suddenly feel a bit better.
even mop the floors in it. Sure, it’s slippery, but every time the kids fall over they get a full-body moisturising treatment. I even use it instead of petrol. The car won’t start, in fact the engine has seized, but the use of coconut oil has cut the emissions down to zero.
We’ve come along way since the euphemistic song I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts was composed as a novelty song Coconut oil is also a wonder drug in 1944. Coconuts and their for the gut. Feeling constipated? amazing byproducts could save the planet. Of course there is the Try the coconut water enema; little problem of coconut miles it’s a little disturbing and does and the subsequent negative put you off ever eating another impacts of transportation to chocolate-covered coconut Bounty bar but it sure is effective. import our trendy miracle oil. As it turns out our obsession I’ve substituted every product with coconut-based health in my house with coconut oil. I
products is impacting on the global supply used by millions of people in Asia and the Pacific. In fact we have been shaking so hard on their coconut trees that production growth is at least eight per cent behind demand growth. In Indonesia alone that would mean that an estimated 1.1 million acres would need to be planted out with coconut trees. I wonder what kind of impact that might have on existing forest or agriculture? We greedy first-world health nuts are consuming coconut water faster than ageing trees can produce. Once again the Third World becomes the quarry for our mass consumption – this time in the form of a coconut grove.
W I T H S P L E N D O U R H E A D L I N I N G E N T E R TA I N M E N T I N G E N E R A L T H I S W E E K , T H E R E I S S T I L L N O S H O R TAG E O F G R E AT G I G S A N D P R E- PA R T I E S TO S E E B E YO N D T H E PA R K L A N D S …
bossy beats and the hella-high shoes of Adelaide emcee Tkay Maidza as she continues to stomp her way to the top of the rap game.
FLIGHT FACILITIES HEADING UP THE HOTEL GREAT NORTHERN PRE-SPLENDOUR PARTY THIS THURSDAY
PRE-PARTY PARTY!
The Hotel Great Northern is having an official pre-Splendour party on the Thursday. Heading up the gig will be Flight Facilities. After their surprise release of their debut album Down To Earth, Flight Facilities show no sign of slowing down. The album catapulted to number one on the iTunes Australia chart, numbers one and two on the US and UK iTunes electronic charts
respectively and number three on the ARIA chart. Soon after, they set off on a soldout headline Australian theatre tour followed by a quick US and EU tour and a bus tour around America. With only a quick break at home to rework their live set, they’ll play Splendour and the Byron Bay Official Pre-Party before hitting the European summer festival circuit for a couple of months. Also on the bill is Tkay Maidza, who are armed with fast flow,
Selling out club shows faster than she slays her rhymes, it’s little wonder fans across the country have snapped up the chance to hear the creator of the self-confessed ‘brat-rap’ that has been the soundtrack to summer following the release of her latest single M.O.B. and her internet-crashing mixtape Switch Tape. As Tone Deaf declared: ‘2015 is Tkay’s year – we’re just living in it.’ Witness the fitness. The event will also include sets from Elliphant, the Swedish reggae-pop maverick; Vallis Alps, a Canberra/Seattle-based electronic duo whose music blends down-tempo, pianodriven melodies and acoustic
guitar with 80s pop synths and gritty trap beats to complement their half-nostalgic, halfforetelling lyrics; LK Mckay is a name might not have heard, but you’ve definitely heard the bouncy, technicolor beats…
from his new release Arrow To The Sun. This album is both more personal and universal than his previous works, and is completed just in time for him to carry it under his wing on a west coast USA tour in August.
All this and more on Thursday night at the Northern – doors 7.30pm.
The captivating spoken-word poetry of Thomas Keily will be opening up the evening, and food, chai and treats will be provided by The Rebel Alliance Cafe. Doors at 7pm for a 7.30 start, with a $15 entry. Splendid!
HEADING TOWARD THE SUN
The renowned Uki artist Murray Kyle is launching his new album this Friday night at the Civic Hall in Mullumbimby, so if you’re not swept up in Splendour, get on down for some heart-medicine music! He will be joined on the night by some fabulous Byron-based musicians including Rebekah Ray, Alice Night, and Walter Piccolruaz, performing songs
Fuchs, Safari DJs, Taya, 2 Towels and Secret Guests. Over two stages from 6pm till late. And it’s free entry to the public. Be at the The Brewery Thursday – 6pm start, free entry.
SAFARI SUITS US ALL ROUNDER
Clothing brand Afends and Sunday Safari productions are coming together to put on a wicked Splendour In The Grass Pre-Party. The big line-up of live bands and DJs features: The Babe Rainbow, Skegss, Pilots, Feeling Dave, Tim
MURRAY KYLE ALBUM LAUNCH THIS FRIDAY NIGHT AT MULLUM CIVIC HALL
A story about Bangladesh, the Bee Gees and a man who tried to fit the world in his head
HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY MARK SWIVEL
BYRON THEATRE
FRIDAY 24 JULY 8PM Tickets $20/$15 ($25 at the door)
Kathryn Jones Lil’ Gypsy CD Launch FREE SHOW
Saturdayy 25th Julyy – 7.30pm
Bosom Buddies Comedy Fundraiser
with Mandy Nolan Saturday 1st Aug – 6pm
Mullumbimby M ulllu ul lumb mbi bimb imby by Ex-Services Ex-Se Club | Club_Mullum | 6684 2533 58 Dalley Street, Street Mullumbimby M
Bookings: www.byroncentre.com.au Q&A afterwards - evening ends 10pm 32 July 22, 2015 The Byron Shire Echo
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