North Carolina Literature and the Other Arts
“‘Jingle Bells.’” “I can see where that would annoy you,” I said, frantically trying to think of what I could do to help. “No, I don’t mind; it’s just the chanting that gets annoying. One time the bass singer did scales up and down until I thought he would never quit. It drove me crazy.” My mother was all alone in a world in her head, and I could not think of anything to do about it. I had already learned from my research into the possibility of hospitalizing her to dry out that the alcoholic has to give her own consent to go to the hospital.
N C L R ONLINE
31
I was moved another time I called when she said, “You know that streetlight in front of my window? That seems to be where everybody stops to fix their cars. Two fellows stopped there the other night, working on their car, and I could hear them talking. The next thing you know, two more fellows joined them, and guess what?” “What?” “They all had Ozark accents! I almost yelled, ‘Where are y’all from?’ But it was three or four in the morning.” “What were they saying?” “I didn’t get out of bed, so I couldn’t tell. But I could hear them talking. They must have been from that group on the hill because what do you suppose they started singing?”
It was one of those times when she had not been answering her phone at all. I went through the phase of letting it ring, not fifteen times but fifteen minutes. When she did not answer after fifteen minutes, I went through the torment of a kind of paralysis. If she were dead, I guessed it would not matter, except dead for how long? But what if she were injured and could be helped? Should I call the police? But if I called the police, and she was only drunk, she would be madder than hops Mother Had a Secret (mixed media, collage on antique paper, 20x12) by Melinda Fine and never forgive me. Or should I just get in the car and go see for myself what’s going on? “I don’t know.” This time, after fifteen minutes, she answered, “‘That Ozark Smile.’ Why, I haven’t heard “Hello.” that song since I was a girl! Neosho was the county “Mom! I’ve been trying to get you at different seat, you know, and the Ad Club – that was like times all day and night. I was worried about you.” the chamber of commerce – used to have contests “You always suspect the worst.” for ‘That Ozark Smile Girl.’ They’d take the girls “Mother, I let the phone ring fifteen minutes around and bring them on stage at the Orpheum each time.” so you could vote. They’ve been singing ‘That “Well, I could be out in the backyard.” Ozark Smile’ up there all week now. That and “At 10:30 at night?” Christmas carols, but they sing those, I’ve told you, “I could be looking at the moon.” all year.” There was something about her answer that It made me so sad to listen to my mother’s detouched me. There was a certain innocence, even lusions because they revealed things she genuinely beauty, in thinking of looking at the moon. But loved – music and her Missouri hometown. it did nothing to make me feel better about her downward trajectory.
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST
There was a certain innocence, even beauty, in thinking of looking at the moon.