Magic Mushrooms, Psychedelic Possession. (book 1). by E-139

MAGIC MUSHROOMS

P S YC H E D E L I C POSSESSION

Cover Artwork By: Aline Berrenguer 2

MAGIC MUSHROOMS

PSYCHEDELIC POSSESSION Lester Harvey (& contributors). 17th August 2021

Index 1 - Note 1

-----

P. 05

2 - Introduction.

-----

P. 06

3 - Chapter 1: Brazil, Facebook report & comments.

-----

P. 09

4 - Chapter 2: Jung & psychotherapy.

-----

P. 165

5 - Chapter 3: MAPS & Transpersonal psychotherapy.

-----

P. 169

6 - Chapter 4: Mushroom gurus.

-----

P. 179

7 - Chapter 5: Mushroom growing books.

-----

P. 183

8 - Chapter 6: DMT, Rick Strassman.

-----

P. 185

9 - Chapter 7: Shamanism (Indigenous schizophrenics).

-----

P. 193

10 - Chapter 8: Religion.

-----

P. 201

11 - Chapter 9: The Tibetan book of the dead.

-----

P. 209

12 - Chapter 10: Conclusion.

-----

P. 213

13 - Chapter 11: Photos & artworks.

-----

P. 217

14 - Chapter 12: Music.

-----

P. 335

15 - Chapter 13: McKenna’s Encounter.

-----

P. 343

16 - Chapter 14: St Nick

-----

P. 347

17 - Chapter 15: Psychedelic beliefs\ theories.

-----

P. 349

18 - Afterward.

-----

P. 465

19 - Note 2.

-----

P. 471

20 - Note 3.

-----

P. 475

21 - Note 4.

-----

P. 495

22 - About the Author.

-----

P. 521

Note 1. Parts of my book may seem repetitive or out of order, I am not a professional writer & I have tried to put this book together quickly, because of the importance of sharing this information, in the hope that it may help to prevent others from experiencing what I have encountered. Much of the information has been copied from other books, & I have added my comments to these sections. It is not meant to offend any individuals. I tried to take my life because of these bizarre symptoms, of something in my mind generating & projecting endless abusive scenes of torture, along with physical sensation of rape, (kunhalini). I thought the only way out was suicide. Because of the insidious nature of the symptoms I have, it should be considered that they have had some influence or have interfered with the writing of this book in some way, the extent of their effects/ planning & ability to ‘know’ the future, means I cannot be sure of these things. I still feel possessed\ inffected , though I am taking medication that blocks most of their dream content/ visions.

Magic Mushrooms Psychedelic Possession. DISCLAIMER

The following book contains disturbing content of sexual abuse. It should not be read by young people, (under 18). If you would still like to read the book and avoid most of the abusive content, I have added the heading – disturbing content- to these sections.

Introduction. Psychedelics have been wrongly accepted as safe throughout society, popularized & glamourized by musicians, celebrities, scientists & CEOs. More than 20 universities in the USA are conducting research into psilocybin, the active alkaloid found in magic mushrooms. The FDA has declared psilocybin a breakthrough therapy for treatment resistant depression. Artists such as Alex Grey & the band `TOOL’ have made millions, marketing themselves as `psychedelic gurus’, promoting psychedelics as recreational drugs, to enhance awareness & explore altered states of consciousness. A small group of academics, scientists, authors, mycologists & therapists have promoted the use of psychedelics, (LSD, MDMA, Magic mushrooms, DMT, Ayahuasca etc.). From the books & papers I have read about their research they are not aware of their (psychedelics) potential evil nature & ability to cause permanent changes to dream content. Psychedelics are said to open a door/window in the mind, (or weaken our perception of ordinary reality), that may allow other entities (autonomous beings), access to our minds, activating a parasitic agenda, or re-programing minds, hypnotizing & entrancing large groups-of people, who become obsessive about these drugs & defensive of any criticism. They are considered `Sacred` by many, & beyond disproval. The positive life changing, transcendental, mystical, awakening & enlightenment experiences people report, may parallel with children saying; `We had ice-cream`, `There was candy`, `They gave me a penny’. Without seeing that magic mushrooms & other psychedelics, are something like `the child snatcher’ from the movie `Chiti-Chiti-bang-bang’, or the witch from the book `Hansel & Gretel’. 6

As my book will show, psychedelics should not be taken by anyone. They are not worth the risk of being tortured to death (raped by satanic entities), with constant abusive visions & nightmares. Or losing your sense of identity. Most people report experiencing positive effects; however, these experiences can be a deceitful mirage, creating a false sense of safety. Negative reports are underreported, misdiagnosed, interpreted as a teaching or blamed on the individual. There is no way of knowing if you will be abused\ possessed by psychedelics. Even if you have had previous positive experiences & think you know what they are all about. There is no way to control all the variables in the situation. Set & setting does not account for what is happening in the world around you, or the multi-dimensional hyperspace/ alternate dimensions, these drugs activate or take you to. This book is based on my 4-year experience of nightmare visions after taking 10grams of magic mushrooms. (Including several others reports of being raped & possessed by entities while on psychedelics). The current view of psychedelics as a tool for depth psychology, psychedelic therapy & self-exploration is a dangerous simplification of their range of effects. The idea that these drugs are only showing people what is already there, (mind manifesting – entheogens), is incorrect. All the books I researched before taking mushrooms led to a false sense of safety, the type and degree of serious negative effects was never mentioned. The substance & entities it connects people with are not being considered `autonomous` and capable of evil. Psychedelics are being treated as a kind of `subconscious foam-pit`. There is still no consensus among scientists about what name to use when describing these drugs effects. Some examples of names include; Oneirogen - (producing dreams). Psychodysleptic - (mind disturbing). Psychotomimetic & psychotogenic - (mimicking or producing psychosis). Psychotoxin & shizotoxin - (a poison causing psychosis or schizophrenia). Hallucinogen - (producing hallucinations). Entheogen - (generating the Devine). Mysticomemetic - (mimicking mystical states). Phanerothyme - (producing visible feelings). 7

Phantasticant - (stimulating fantasy). It is important to note that scientists do not agree, or do not know, how these drugs work & what is the range of their effects. There is also no consensus on the definition or cause of schizophrenia. The report in the following chapter was posted on the internet (Facebook & Shoomery forum). When I traveled to Brazil from New Zealand, to search for help, after a failed suicide attempt several weeks before. If you are not familiar with vivid lucid dreams or psychedelic experiences, it may be difficult to imagine how strangely real they can seem. Visions that not only control what is seen in other dimensions, they can also control what is felt, people’s reactions to these visions, the entire experience, is able to be fabricated by the psychedelic’s effects. What has not been realized, is that psychedelics can cause a permanent state of deliberately constructed & controlled visions/nightmares. I can no longer lucid dream/ control my dreams or meditate. When I closed my eyes, it was not long before there were dream-like scenes/ visions trying to control my life & cause suicide with torture & abuse.

CHAPTER 1

Trip Reports & Comments. A problem with many proponents/ advocates & psychedelic researchers, is that these substances can `hypnotize/ possess/ or permanently re-program people, & cause unknown neurophysiological changes. Potentially making people controllable by an unseen network of communication (a plenum), through frequencies, or by what Terrance McKenna described as ‘Intercalation’. They become `guru-zombies`, incapable of believing, understanding or considering any negative reports, theories or views about psychedelics. This disconcerting information may also cause people `cognitive dissonance`. (See; Carol Traverse – cognitive dissonance.). As an example of the kind of delusional Jungian thinking that pervades the psychedelic scene, here is a response to a conversation, after reading my report: Danielle; “Your treatise seems...not to discredit it at yours..but that’s just it.. Sounds like an “ego-trip,” blown completely out of proportion..and once again a reflection of the ego to interact with them on this level..and to perpetuate that by soliciting support in it.. again, largely persona..and a reflection of a larger miasma. Sorry..but G.U.R.U. and no... I won’t adhere to it.” When asked to clarify what she meant, she replied; “Yeah..NO..” Many people who had negative experiences from mushrooms, that I asked to contribute to this book, strangely stopped responding, after initially agreeing to share their story. The shamans I contacted through the internet in Brazil, all declined to help me. It is worth considering that people can be controlled by unseen, God like or alien entities, activated by psychedelic use. God/ aliens/ Satan/ DMT & magic mushrooms, may all be the same thing. So called; spiritual, transcendent, mystical, awakening or enlightenment, possession by entities, aliens, other beings etc. May all be hallucinations caused by the mushrooms/ psychedelics. Re-programing, with hypnotizing visions, to create fear, communicate & entrance, to control people by spreading the belief in the misconception of `Devine & Sacred` entheogens. What I am experiencing are not flashbacks or PTSD, from the 10grams of mushrooms I took 4 years ago. It is like there is something in my mind recording everything I do, every day, that uses this information to re-create distortions & insults, malicious & abusive content, deliberate acts of sabotage to ruin my life. These are not paranoid delusions. I am referring specifically to internal dreams/ visions/ nightmares. It is like the mushrooms have built a projector screen in my mind, that they use to play 9

back brainwashing, soul destroying, abusive nightmares. They have a storyline, an `agenda`, (including information from other times & places), they are deliberate constructions of an intelligent, satanic/ evil alien or god like creator. That has total control of my mind when I sleep. This is not a case of being unable to understand or incorporate/ integrate subconscious material/ messages. They are not repressed memories, trauma, anxieties or fears. They are directed, obscene, hateful abuse, rape & torture, a kind of Hell. Something that is trying to make me end my life for sharing this information.

Search Our Site | Search Our Forums

☰

Home | Community | Message Board Forum Index You are not signed in. Sign In New Account

Best Posts User List

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports

Search Posts Active Topics

Trusted Vendors Galleries

Calendar Store Growery

Threaded

FAQ

Random

Index

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. offer. Please You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more! Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds, Feminized Cannabis Seeds, High THC Strains, USA West Coast Strains Bridgetown Botanicals, CBD Capsules, CBD Edibles, CBD Oils, CBD Topicals Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom Buy Kratom Extract, Kratom Powder For Sale North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next > [ show all ]

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Magic mushrooms RAPED me.

#27083425 - 12/11/20 10:35 PM (8 months, 3 days ago)

I am having an extremely bad experience from magic mushrooms. I will try to post the report here. The link is not working. You can find it on my Facebook page; /Lester.harvey.1865

Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083463 - 12/11/20 11:51 PM (8 months, 3 days ago)

I am writing from a hotel room in Brazil. I have traveled here to try and get help for this constant state of torment that mushrooms have put me in. I think people should stop promoting the use of magic mushrooms. There should be a strong wraning that their use can cause psychosis & other permanent negative changes to mental health. They should be reclassified as a parasite. (They have made my life HELL). I had read several books about mushrooms and listened to many talks on YouTube at

the time, including most of the talks by Terrance McKenna. They were being promoted as a treatment for depression & miracle life changing experience. I don't have my diaries with me from when I took mushrooms. I will try to explain it from memory. I first took mushrooms around three years ago. They were a strain called "Liberty Caps", that grow wild in New Zealand. I started with 1 gram, in the middle of the day. I walked around outside on a farm by a river. It was euphoric. Though left me feeling drained and depressed again. About one month later I took a 5 gram dose. This time I was in my campervan in the mountains. I remember feeling as though I had died & was taken somewhere. I could see and hear family. I chose to stay alive by waking and drinking water. Some of it was frightening. There was a strange insect like humming in the van and some visual distortions. I took them again (6 times?) at a similar dose, several months apart. I had read Shonagh Homes book, "Love & Spirit medicine", I recall she encouraged regular use? These experiences were, often like vivid dreaming. Sometimes geometric patterns & insect like humming & something trying to tell me a story about my life & civilization. There was also a Butterfly that is difficult to describe. Another time it was as though the stars were talking to me.( Taken outside at night). I had been keeping track of my dreams before I took mushrooms. I am not sure from memory at what point they took over my dreams and became increasingly intimidating, threatening, violent, obscene and abusive, Then began to rape me. They are trying to kill me, to stop me from talking about this. (I have been driven to attempt suicide). See; "Benevolent Dolphins". (I will send a link). My dreams became more vivid/ lucid & frequent after these experiences. I would often wake over 20 times a night to record my dreams in a journal. I also began to experience strange full body vibrations, that would start with a ringing in my ears. Similar to the feeling with the Butterfly & insect like humming. The scenes and creatures in my dreams also became very strange; Animals morphed into different animals. Mermaids talking to me. Dolphins, Birds, Leprechauns. Fairies, Indians, Egyptians, a Chinese man/ Dwarf. Also, Aliens & flying saucers, a ghost ship, blue beings (that were abusive), & something like a devil woman, with sheep horns. Something with 3 moving eyes. That said it wanted me to go insane. I have seen terrible visions of violence, rape and abuse. They are torturing me. My ears now also ring constantly & I get convulsions and ticks in my arms and legs. I used to grow & smoke cannabis occasionally, they have caused me to throw away my seed collection & burn my supply of buds. They were trying to make me have children, I think because I am aware of the damage being done to our DNA by radiation from cell-phones, cell towers, WiFi etc. (A demonic\ black being said that I am Jacob from the Bible in one vision, many of their brainwashing visions have been Christianity themed, though I am not religeous.) I had been living in the country for many years, away from this radiation. They drove me to live further away from this radiation /EMF. I lived by a lake in the mountains for some months, also s cave in the bush. In one of the dreams, a Dwarf, who called himself "Dues", Told me to take 10grams of magic mushrooms. (I did not realize at the time that they were the cause of my strange dreams). The 10grams I took were a strain called "Pink Buffalo" from website spores 101, That I grew myself indoors using PFKtek.

When I took them I was in a small hut in the mountains. I felt very relaxed and seen a White Swan, then something like a rife frequency in my brain. A vibration that continued for maybe 1 hour. Then I sat up & felt reasonably (unreasonably?) normal, apart from some morphing patterns & animals (an elephant) on the carpet. I felt ok, though slightly nauseated. At some time after this I stopped playing along with their plan for me to have children. Because they had (physically) RAPED me. I do not want to describe this detail. I will only say it is sickening, beyond belief. I decided I could not have children after these events. Because; A- The abuse that was compelling me to. B- The risk that the mushrooms could somehow pass this on to my children. I have not read of any other accounts of something this terrible happening before. I have read a wide range of books including several about magic mushrooms. There was no warning that this might happen. They have ruined my life. I hope that my experience can be a warning to other people. Magic mushrooms are not safe at any dose. They have effects on dreams. They can lie & trick you. They can cause permanent changes to your brain & they can RAPE, torture and abuse people. I can not meditate after this, I see abusive visions when I close my eyes. I am still haveing tortured dreams, over 3 years after I last took magic mushrooms. Some of the books I have read; "One River" Several by "Carlos Castenada" The Mastery of Love" "Love and Spirit Medicine" "The woman in the shamans body" "Memories Dreams Reflections" "Man and his Symbols" "The Transferrence"- Jung "Psilocybin Mushrooms of the world" & mushrooms growers guide, Paul Staments. "The pschyedelic experience" Timothy Leory. "Magic mushroom growers guide" "The invisible Landscape" Terrance McKenna. "The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide: Safe, Therapeutic, and Sacred Journeys" The book "One River", had some lines about mushrooms potentially causing insanity. & I am not sure what Castenada was given? I have only read of a few other "bad trips", though this does not compare. See my Facebook page for drawings I have made that are how it feels; Lester Harvey. Please share this with others. Thank you for reading. See; HPPD support -facebook. For other accounts of psychedelics causing lasting damage to people. Some music/ lyrics are also close to describing this; Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory, "Crawling". Alice in Chains - "Nutshell".

Edited by Arron (05/08/21 11:10 AM) Top

Extras:

ch0ppie

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083493 - 12/12/20 12:33 AM (8 months, 3 days ago)

Registered: 11/19/20 Posts: 591

So sorry to hear of your negative experience Before any mushroom use, did you suffer from any health conditions, notably mental health? When you say you've traveled to where you are now to seek help, is there someone treating you there? What's the treatment regime if so? Although McKenna mentioned the issue of people not consuming a potent enough dose, it seems like you jumped from a first trip dose of 1g, straight to 5g+ doses, which is considered heroic if I'm not mistaken. Did you acknowledge that the mushrooms were making you do all those negative things at the time, or only afterwards? I think one should never lead another to believe mushroom use would result in a sure "miracle life changing experience" as you say it was promoted to you as. And it's unfortunate that, that was the case. Hope things only get better for you. Stay strong

Top

Extras:

Socrateshroo m сталкер

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083515 - 12/12/20 12:58 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

I'm sorry that you are having trouble and I do hope that you can find peace/treatment of whatever ails you. But, with all due respect, it seems that you have manifested the symptoms of some mental illness, not been "poisoned" by psychoactive mushrooms.

Registered: 09/06/18 Posts: 1,373 Loc: Underworld Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours

It's important to understand that ANY intense or highly stressful event/life-change can trigger such phenomena. There are many stories where a man, having just become a father, snaps and does something drastic. And many psychologists attribute that to the stress and realizations of the coming challenge of fatherhood that triggered psychosis in the individual. The truth is, people are both incredibly resilient and rather fragile. Many events that are innocuous to one person are enough to set another down a dark and scary path. And it is a fact that, for some, psychedelic experiences can trigger mental anguish/illness due to the sheer intensity of them. This doesn't mean that the substance itself is to blame. This doesn't mean that there is a specific chemical in the substance that causes psychotic manifestation. I do really hope that you are able to overcome this torment. And I understand how, when in anguish, we want to find a direct cause. So we often find something to blame and, with great zeal, promote its evil. But we can be misguided in our delusion to blaming the wrong thing (I know, I've had my troubles and I always seemed to blame what was easiest to condemn, not what the actual cause was). The truth is, mushrooms are NOT for everyone. Just like alcohol is NOT for everyone. Hot sauce is not for everyone (especially if you have IBS). TV is not for everyone. Etc, Etc.

And, this is blatantly false: Quote:

Arron said: I hope that my experience can be a warning to other people. Magic mushrooms are not safe at any dose.

--------------------

Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Socrateshroom]

#27083628 - 12/12/20 02:56 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

Has anyone read his Terrance Mckennas book. "The invisible Landscape"? They talk about being in a permanent trip like state from magic mushrooms. It is widely accepted that once you have taken them, they continue to effect you (always). They can cause permanent changes to how your brain works. Has anyone else noticed a significant change in their dreams content & experience after taking mushrooms? I think what it means when people say "mystical" experience, is that they do not know what is really happening. We do not know what mushrooms are. What I mean when I say any dose is unsafe, is that they cause permanent effects/ changes.(possibly at any dose). And you cannot trust that this will be a positive change. They lied to me at low doses. To Socrateshroom; comparing my abuse from mushrooms to becoming a father is insulting. "we know a thimbullfull about pscychedelics and that thimbull you could throw away" Terrance McKenna.

Top

Extras:

Corundum

Goopy

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083661 - 12/12/20 03:24 AM (8 months, 2 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: To Socrateshroom; comparing my abuse from mushrooms to becoming a father is insulting.

No, it's not insulting. He isn't even comparing your "abuse from mushrooms" to being a father, as you say. The metaphor is being used to illustrate that you are exhibiting signs of mental illness and that this may have been triggered by a traumatic experience (your high dose). Registered: 11/02/17 Posts: 572 Loc: Michigan Last seen: 3 months, 22 days

Judging by your posts here it would seem to me that it would be best for you to stay away from psychedelics and seek professional help. Judging by your OP it seems you might be a little unstable right now so it might not be the best idea to be drifting through a foreign country seeking treatment from people who are probably unlicensed and unqualified. Consider returning home to your family to get professional help. --------------------

Top

Extras:

Socrateshroo m сталкер

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083714 - 12/12/20 03:57 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

Thank you Corundum for making my point clear. 1) As he stated, I in no way compared mushroom abuse to becoming a father. What I did compare is the INTENSITY of both experiences. Becoming a father is a huge experience and, especially, if someone is unprepared. That sudden realization that "I now have an important and life-long responsibility" has been, unfortunately, known to cause some men to have mental breakdowns. And, in the same way, some difficult psychedelic experiences can trigger similar mental anguish. But it isn't only the aforementioned events that can be triggers. Any difficult, traumatic or intense experience can be a trigger.

Registered: 09/06/18 Posts: 1,373 Loc: Underworld Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours

2) Everyone is so hung up on "permanent" changes. Permanent changes are constantly occurring in our lives. We are not the same mentally, or physically, as we were when we were infants (hopefully). Permanent change is unavoidable in life and required for positive transformation. Are you talking about permanent PHYSICAL changes to the brain structure? There some evidence of increasing connections between various brain regions but NO proof of any negative physical neurological changes such as neuron degradation. So the "permanent" changes are emotional/spiritual/psychological. And even those aren't necessarily permanent as we see of plenty of people who have "improved" in

some way psychologically only to regress. But yes, the intensity of the experience can permanently change your perceptions. And I agree, not all change is positive. With or without psychedelics, LIFE changes us more than anything. Lots of people, faced with a difficult life, change for the negative. And many people faced with similar difficulties change for the positive. It's the risks we take in doing anything, in living life. We don't always know if we'll come out better for it. And perhaps some risks are too great. And for some people, I absolutely agree that psychedelics pose too high a risk for use. Anyway, I am not looking to insult you. I am sympathetic to your cause. I had the same problem with alcohol, which I abstain from. But I came to the realization that my psychological problems were mine and alcohol was not directly responsible (even if it made the negative manifestations of my psyche much worse). Furthermore, I believe claiming that any substance is undeniably unsafe, in the absence of airtight evidence, is irresponsible. Your experience is important and we need to consider it (and others) when we discuss mushroom use, but your experience is not indicative of the totality of ALL psychedelic experience, just like my positive experiences with it are not indicative that others will benefit as well. --------------------

Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Socrateshroom]

#27083819 - 12/12/20 04:56 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

I am unable to have children because of what has happened to me. This does not compare as a metaphor or in intensity to becoming a father. And I find it offensive. (Weather you ment it to be or not). It is a further insult to say my report is a sign of mental illness. You did not have the same problem with alcohol.

Top

Extras:

Socrateshroo m сталкер

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083842 - 12/12/20 05:09 AM (8 months, 2 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: I am unable to have children because of what has happened to me. This does not compare as a metaphor or in intensity to becoming a father. And I find it offensive. (Weather you ment it to be or not). It is a further insult to say my report is a sign of mental illness.

Registered: 09/06/18 Posts: 1,373 Loc: Underworld Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours

You did not have the same problem with alcohol.

With all due respect, you do not know the extent of my struggles with alcohol, and the permanent consequence I've suffered, and can't make that assumption. Irregardless, it is clear that there is no room for discussion between us, whether that be because of my ignorance or yours. Whatever the cause of your problems, I hope you are able to make as much recovery as possible. Best of luck on your journey. --------------------

Top

Extras:

VP123

Strange

Registered: 06/28/19 Posts: 402 Loc: Midwest Last seen: 2 days, 1 hour

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083944 - 12/12/20 06:38 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

I hope you can overcome such bad experience. It sounds like you will need someone to help you go through this. Mushrooms have been very helpful to some of us. I can't imagine how I could have gone through depression without them. None of the medications I was given did a damn thing to improve my mental state. Your sharing of this experience will be helpful as a cautionary tale for those who want to explore this medicine. Quote:

Arron said: There should be a strong wraning that their use can cause psychosis & other permanent negative changes to mental health.

Actually, you can find such warnings when looking into their use. I was well aware of the potential for bad trips and that they can actually elicit psychotic episodes in some people. They are not recommended for people whom, themselves or close family members, may have a history of certain mental conditions. I'm surprised you did not find this in all the reading you did. Is it possible you saw this but ignored it and only paid attention to the potential benefits? Quote:

Arron said: About one month later I took a 5 gram dose.

Going from a barely noticeable effect to a full heroic trip is never advisable (from 1 g to 5 g). Quote:

Arron said: I took them again (6 times?) at a similar dose, several months apart.... My dreams became more vivid/ lucid & frequent after these experiences. I would often wake over 20 times a night to record my dreams in a journal...

It is normally recommended to integrate the experience before embarking on the next trip. Here it seems like, in spite of having bad experiences you kept taking them. No mental and emotional preparation before taking mushrooms? Quote:

Arron said: Another time it was as though the stars were talking to me....

I've had all kinds of weird experiences. Deities presenting before me. Images of myself in times and places I've never been, etc. But after the trip I come to the conclusion that everything was in my mind. The psilocybin just mimics neurotransmitters that amplify what is already in my mind. One just takes what is useful in the experience. Not a good idea to ruminate on the negative. Quote:

Arron said: They were trying to make me have children, I think because I am aware of the damage being done to our DNA by radiation from cell-phones, cell towers, WiFi etc. I had been living in the country for many years, away from this radiation....I lived by a lake in the mountains for some months, also s cave in the bush. At some time after this I stopped playing along with their plan for me to have children. Because they had (physically) RAPED me.

You seem to gravitate towards conspiracy theories. And it seems like those are scaring you. Being afraid about something as ubiquitous as the electromagnetic field from cell phones and WiFi is not a good state of mind to be in. And these will be greatly amplified with psychedelics. You also say they physically raped you. I hope you find the help you need. And as mentioned by Corundum, it may not be a good idea to seek such help in a place you barely know. But we appreciate your sharing of this bad experience. Hopefully it will be useful to many people who want to explore the use of these medicines. And as many people here will agree on, when properly used, mushrooms can help. For me, they brought a much needed relief from some very deep depression I was going through. At some point it was so bad, I could barely do the minimum expected from me in my job. I took a leap of faith and used them because I was beginning to get suicidal thoughts very frequently. Now, thanks to the mushrooms they are gone. I hope you don't get too upset because we express disagreement. If you have close friends or family members you can trust, talk to them. Sometimes a second opinion from someone close to us is necessary in order to see through our confusion. Sometimes they have to push us through this confusion even if we do not see it that way at the moment.

Top

Extras:

InnerWisdom

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083981 - 12/12/20 07:06 AM (8 months, 2 days ago) Quote:

Registered: 08/10/19 Posts: 1,817 Loc: North EU Last seen: 2 days, 17 hours

Arron said: Has anyone read his Terrance Mckennas book. "The invisible Landscape"? They talk about being in a permanent trip like state from magic mushrooms. It is widely accepted that once you have taken them, they continue to effect you (always). They can cause permanent changes to how your brain works. Has anyone else noticed a significant change in their dreams content & experience after taking mushrooms? I think what it means when people say "mystical" experience, is that they do not know what is really happening. We do not know what mushrooms are. What I mean when I say any dose is unsafe, is that they cause permanent effects/ changes.(possibly at any dose). And you cannot trust that this will be a positive change. They lied to me at low doses. To Socrateshroom; comparing my abuse from mushrooms to becoming a father is insulting. "we know a thimbullfull about pscychedelics and that thimbull you could throw away" - Terrance McKenna. Balls! Don't believe this shit. That permanent negative changes are probable for you. You are mostly being affected by FEAR right now. Not the mushrooms. For the vast majority, myself included, mushroom use doesn't cause permanent weird changes or anything worrying. More like permanent slow changes for the better. No need to be afraid my man. of course you can have negative experiences. You are going through some tough times now. It will pass.

Edited by InnerWisdom (12/12/20 07:08 AM) Top

Extras:

InnerWisdom

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27083985 - 12/12/20 07:08 AM (8 months, 2 days ago) Quote:

Registered: 08/10/19 Posts: 1,817 Loc: North EU

Arron said: I am having an extremely bad experience from magic mushrooms. I will try to post the report here. The link is not working. You can find it on my Facebook page; /Lester.harvey.1865

Last seen: 2 days, 17 hours don't post about mushroom use on facebook

Top

Extras:

coAsTal

Friend

Registered: 04/05/06 Posts: 2,970 Loc: 8a

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27084644 - 12/12/20 01:48 PM (8 months, 2 days ago)

Top

Extras:

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: coAsTal]

#27085015 - 12/12/20 10:22 PM (8 months, 2 days ago)

I would like to know what you think the mushrooms are? Do you find that many people become obsessed about them? (For me this is what happened). From my experience with mushrooms, and the way they changed the content of my dreams, Christian themed, & visions of Christ, They are the "forbidden fruit of knowledge" from the bible.

Top

Extras:

Malkuthian

Fetus

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27085039 - 12/12/20 11:01 PM (8 months, 2 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: They are the "forbidden fruit of knowledge" from the bible.

Registered: 12/07/15 Posts: 658 Loc: Last seen: 4 hours, 55 minutes

I could agree with that. Knowledge was forbidden by the leader who wanted a unanimous flock, because knowledge prevents him from leading them. The flock needs to be stupid and cannot think for themselves. Eating the fruit makes you aware, and less likely to follow predetermined doctrines. By doing that it shifts the responsibility or your life towards yourself. As a individual, rather than a pawn in someone else's game, you will have to carry your own weight. -------------------Mãlküthian Ritual @ Bandcamp BOSS MODE @ Bandcamp Deviantart gallery Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Malkuthian]

#27085408 - 12/13/20 04:10 AM (8 months, 1 day ago)

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

From my experience they are forbidden because they can destroy your sense of self and free will. There are other ways of finding out what is going on. Or thinking for yourself, than taking mushrooms. To quote Terrance again, to say; " The mushroom said to me...." Is not thinking for yourself.

Top

Extras:

coAsTal

Friend

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27085440 - 12/13/20 04:26 AM (8 months, 1 day ago)

Thanks, crusader against mushrooms, for coming onto a mushroom site to enlighten us about the evil wicked mushroom.

Registered: 04/05/06 Posts: 2,970 Loc: 8a

Top

Extras:

4HO-DMT

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27085476 - 12/13/20 04:50 AM (8 months, 1 day ago)

Quote:

Arron said: From my experience they are forbidden because they can destroy your sense of self and free will. Registered: 01/12/11 Posts: 5,059 Loc: County Line Road

Did you pay attention to what you read in the books that you quoted? The psychedelic explorer's guide, is by James Fadiman, btw, not Tim Leary. But, the psychedelic experience by Leary is a good book to read on the topic too. Both of those books emphasize the importance of set and setting. From reading your posts, it appears that you did not pay attention to set and setting. It can have a huge effect on the outcome of a trip. I don't know what to tell ya man. Mushrooms can be a great tool for self exploration. However, if used in the wrong situations, without experience, etc. They can be vicious. I hope you figure out your problem and get well. But, it's not the mushrooms fault...

Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: 4HO-DMT]

#27085591 - 12/13/20 05:51 AM (8 months, 1 day ago)

I cannot recall exactly the names and authors of the books I read. The one you ae referring to was based on The Tebetin Book of The Dead. I was in a relaxed state, safe quiet places, alone in the mountains.

What has happened to me is a direct result of the mushrooms. I'm not sure how to add a link to a YouTube clip. Search for; "A single Pscilocybin trip, Jordan Peterson talks to Dr Roland Griffiths" To quote; "permanent personality transformations, (neurological & pschological changes) + 10% chance with Pscilocybin of a trip to HELL.

Edited by Arron (12/13/20 05:54 AM) Top

Extras:

4HO-DMT

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27086403 - 12/13/20 02:27 PM (8 months, 1 day ago) Quote:

Arron said: ... I'm not sure how to add a link to a YouTube clip. Search for; "A single Pscilocybin trip, Jordan Peterson talks to Dr Roland Griffiths"

Registered: 01/12/11 Posts: 5,059 Loc: County Line Road

To quote; "permanent personality transformations, (neurological & pschological changes) + 10% chance with Pscilocybin of a trip to HELL.

Eh, that's absurd. Don't believe everything you see on the internet.

Top

Extras:

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next > [ show all ]

Jump to top

Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds, Feminized Cannabis Seeds, High THC Strains, USA West Coast Strains Bridgetown Botanicals, CBD Capsules, CBD Edibles, CBD Oils, CBD Topicals Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom Buy Kratom Extract, Kratom Powder For Sale North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports Similar Threads Hail to the magical mushroom..a trip begins..

Threaded

Poster

Views Replies

pharmacopeia

Index

Last post

1,782

02/24/02 05:46 PM by pharmacopeia

A bad mushroom trip...

Shiznitz

3,378

10/31/08 05:26 AM by kishou

my paranoia issue with mushrooms: dying

Vats of Blood 2,044

07/17/03 06:55 AM by Strumpling

(

1 2 all )

Search Our Site | Search Our Forums

☰

Home | Community | Message Board Forum Index You are not signed in. Sign In New Account

Best Posts User List

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports

Search Posts Active Topics

Trusted Vendors Galleries

Calendar Store Growery

Threaded

FAQ

Random

Index

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. offer. Please You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more! Shop: Buy Kratom Extract, Kratom Powder For Sale North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom Buy Bali Kratom Powder Pages: < Back | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next > [ show all ]

SynKyd

ctrl-alt-delite

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27086422 - 12/13/20 02:48 PM (8 months, 1 day ago) Quote:

Registered: 09/28/13 Posts: 1,554 Loc: ૐ Last seen: 4 months, 18 days

Arron said: I cannot recall exactly the names and authors of the books I read. The one you ae referring to was based on The Tebetin Book of The Dead. I was in a relaxed state, safe quiet places, alone in the mountains. What has happened to me is a direct result of the mushrooms. I'm not sure how to add a link to a YouTube clip. Search for; "A single Pscilocybin trip, Jordan Peterson talks to Dr Roland Griffiths" To quote; "permanent personality transformations, (neurological & pschological changes) + 10% chance with Pscilocybin of a trip to HELL.

Hope you find some relief friend.

I would like to ask here, is is possible you were tripping so hard that your trauma (rape?) was actually another human and your mental state prevented you from recognizing or remembering the event, or some PTSD triggering here? Being out of your mind on a strong psychedelic may have attracted some attention in a remote setting. --------------------

New inclusive poop emojis from Apple!

Top

Extras:

InnerWisdom

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: SynKyd]

#27086547 - 12/13/20 06:17 PM (8 months, 1 day ago)

Yeah what's up with this physical rape thing... OP, you went full psychotic mode after mushrooms somewhere in there. You couldn't do any reality testing and your paranoid thoughts and imagination have taken over. I would argue you were already susceptible for this kind of experience especially when not treading with caution, because what you said about cell towers and radio Registered: waves causing DNA damage. 08/10/19 I don't know what other paranoid conspiracies you believe but that's already quite Posts: 1,817 crazy, and that kind of shit can get out of hand on psychedelics easily Loc: North EU Last seen: 2 days, If you can't be mindful of what is going on. During the comeup of my last trip I had intense paranoid thoughts about some 17 hours interdimensional insects burrowing into my brain to suck my energy or some shit like that and it felt kind of real, but then I had enough of that craziness and shook it off and out of me literally. If you can't distinguish crazy irrational thoughts during the experience or when sober, it's byebye sanity. One more thing Arron. The more you think mushrooms caused some damage and raped you and what not, the less you are in control and in understanding of the reality of your situation. It's not the shrooms, it's your mind and your brain.

Top

Extras:

Malkuthian

Fetus

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27086867 - 12/14/20 02:01 AM (8 months, 22 hours ago) Quote:

Arron said: From my experience they are forbidden because they can destroy your

sense of self and free will. There are other ways of finding out what is going on. Or thinking for yourself, than taking mushrooms. To quote Terrance again, to say; " The mushroom said to me...." Is not thinking for yourself. Registered: 12/07/15 Posts: 658 Loc: Last seen: 4 hours, 44 minutes

Are you saying that the fruit of knowledge found in Eden destroys free will if eaten? Regarding the quote: That someone spoke to him doesn't mean he is prevented from thinking for himself...? Your are applying ridiculous amounts of bias and predetermined ideas to the words you are quoting. If you read a book it can speak to you. If you engage in social interaction, the people you meet can speak to you. Etc. Are you saying these things prevents thinking for yourself? -------------------Mãlküthian Ritual @ Bandcamp BOSS MODE @ Bandcamp Deviantart gallery Top

Extras:

Lion

Decadent Flower Magnate

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27087440 - 12/14/20 09:04 AM (8 months, 15 hours ago)

Quote:

Arron said: I am unable to have children because of what has happened to me.

Registered: 09/20/05 Posts: 8,680 Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes

This does not compare as a metaphor or in intensity to becoming a father. And I find it offensive. (Weather you ment it to be or not). It is a further insult to say my report is a sign of mental illness. You did not have the same problem with alcohol.

With respect - coming upon your post, the way you describe your experiences and present state of reality, it is a logical, evidence-based conclusion to draw that there is mental illness at play here. Many posters here, myself included, have lots of experience with mental illness. I personally have had long, intense periods of paranoid delusion related to substance use. I still grapple with it. Being a sign of mental illness doesn't mean that your experience is being dismissed or invalidated. Mental illness doesn't mean you're "lesser than" or that there aren't other things going on - you might be experiencing a particularly acute "spiritual emergency" or a "dark night of the soul." I've seen many posters here over the years make similar posts in the grips of very overwhelming and powerful psychic energy, and later on reflect that it was part of a much longer (unending) process of acquiring selfknowledge. I don't have much advice to offer, but I think you need grounding and rest, and maybe the current way you're going about trying to heal isn't allowing you to return to an equilibrium. It's a difficult time in the world in general, it's not easy to find peace or

equanimity, but hopefully you'll find some cues here or elsewhere that'll lead you to have more of that in your life. -------------------“Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

Top

Extras:

VP123

Strange

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Lion]

#27088547 - 12/15/20 04:24 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

To OP: I hope you find some relief to your current state. If you came here to ask our opinions or advice, we are happy to share our experiences. If you came here trying to convince everyone to give up mushrooms, it is not a good use of your time.

Registered: 06/28/19 Posts: 402 Loc: Midwest Edited by VP123 (12/15/20 04:51 AM) Last seen: 2 days, 58 minutes Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Top

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: VP123]

#27088752 - 12/15/20 06:11 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

They did not rape me during the "trip". It has taken over my dreams (for 3+ years). The "conversation" mushrooms have with people after they take them, is not an ordinary conversation. It is not a book you can choose to close (though I am still trying to), or a person you can walk away from. They are more like a parasite, or infection. They are living creatures/ beings. Not just another medicine/ substance. It is niave to think they don't have their own kind of agenda. And are using/ abusing vulnerable people? That are then labled as menttaly ill, & alienated or medicated as a way of suppressing those who speak out. This is a report of psychedelic use and dreams. If you were to read others accounts of these experiences, You may also conclude that they are delusional & or mentally unstable/schizophrenics. If you keep lableing all negative experience from this substance as the fault of the individual, you are missing the point, that these mushrooms are not like other psychedelics. They can be decietfull and extremely abusive ( to anyone ). People seem to have a way of turning every negative report about mushrooms around & blaming the individual. These experiences are likely underreported, Possibly because of these kind of abusive comments. What makes your positive reviews any more valid than my negative report?

This does not make sense; They are promoted as a treatment for depression and suicidal thoughts. Yet should not be taken if you have a history of mental health problems. Lableing something as Sacred/ Devine does not make it so. ie; the Church (abuse, hatred, rape, corruption etc). From my understanding they are the " Forbidden Fruit" from the bible. To eat them and surely die, may not be a literal death. You may lose your sense of self and free will? As they have been shown to have permanent neurological effects. If you have taken mushrooms already. Then you can never know if your ideas are really your own or the mushrooms.

Top

Extras:

Malkuthian

Fetus

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27088775 - 12/15/20 06:26 AM (7 months, 30 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: From my understanding they are the " Forbidden Fruit" from the bible. To eat them and surely die, may not be a literal death. You may lose your sense of self and free will? Registered: 12/07/15 Posts: 658 Loc: Last seen: 4 hours, 44 minutes

...Or you may gain a sense of self and free will. How about that... Creativity and free expression is connected to psychedelics for a reason. Society is a fucking hamster wheel with normalized morons following their flocks towards *no fucking clue because it don't matter for the flock*. And you are saying there is a problem with mushrooms because they can take away free will? Free will is basically nonexistent in the first place, mushrooms are one of the things that actually have the power to change that. There might be risks involved, as with anything and everything, but that one of those risk would be that you jeopardize your free will, is beyond preposterous. Quote:

Arron said: As they have been shown to have permanent neurological effects. If you have taken mushrooms already. Then you can never know if your ideas are really your own or the mushrooms. Mushrooms don't have ideas. -------------------Mãlküthian Ritual @ Bandcamp BOSS MODE @ Bandcamp Deviantart gallery Top

Extras:

VP123

Strange

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Malkuthian] 2 #27088863 - 12/15/20 07:25 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

Arron, have you considered the possibility that you could be wrong?

Registered: 06/28/19 Posts: 402 Loc: Midwest Last seen: 2 days, 58 minutes

Socrateshroo m сталкер

Top

Extras:

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Lion]

#27088889 - 12/15/20 07:45 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

People here are unbelievably compassionate and are really trying to help. Yet everything they say goes in one ear and out the other. We might all be wrong and you might be right, but it's clear you aren't considering anything that is written. I don't know why I'm trying again, but here's some thoughts: Quote:

Registered: 09/06/18 Posts: 1,373 Loc: Underworld Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours

Arron said: The "conversation" mushrooms have with people after they take them, is not an ordinary conversation. It is not a book you can choose to close (though I am still trying to), or a person you can walk away from. They are more like a parasite, or infection.

They can amplify the subconscious, bring the archetypes forward, and can open old traumas. The trip can bring confusion, delusion and fear as much as bliss and understanding. None of that is "parasitic". It is not an infection. It does not feed off of its host to the host's detriment. It does not destroy the host. If you have chemical tolerance to it (from recent use or natural tolerance), you can consume mushrooms without any effect. Quote:

Arron said: They are living creatures/ beings. Not just another medicine/ substance. It is niave to think they don't have their own kind of agenda. And are using/ abusing vulnerable people?

So is Kale and so was the hamburger just eaten. Does that mean that the Kale and the cow are now forcing an agenda on the consumer? Everything you eat is alive or was living. If your statement was true, then all of those foods would be acting out their agenda(s) through us. What would happen when we ate foods with opposing agendas? Mushrooms (mycelium to be exact) are living creatures. They may have their own thoughts, feelings and experience. But that doesn't mean consuming them "transfers" them to your mind and gives them control. Cannibals don't become the people they eat and beef eaters don't start grazing like cows after beef consumption. Quote:

Arron said: That are then labeled as mentally ill, & alienated or medicated as a way of suppressing those who speak out.

You may also conclude that they are delusional & or mentally unstable/schizophrenics.

No. Especially on a website like this, people always give you the benefit of the doubt. Lion said it perfectly, you might be experiencing: "acute "spiritual emergency" or a "dark night of the soul." So people are really trying. But, just like you claim that people are quick to turn to mental illness as an explanation, others are quick to dismiss that mental illness might be afflicting them. It works both ways. Quote:

Arron said: If you keep labeling all negative experience from this substance as the fault of the individual, you are missing the point,

No one is labeling all negative experiences as mental illness. But to have continuing mental anguish long after consumption is just a hint that manifestation of a mental illness should be considered. Lion said it best: Quote:

Lion said: With respect - coming upon your post, the way you describe your experiences and present state of reality, it is a logical, evidence-based conclusion to draw that there is mental illness at play here.

Quote:

Arron said: that these mushrooms are not like other psychedelics. They can be deceitful and extremely abusive ( to anyone ).

How did you come to the revelation that mushrooms are "evil" whereas other psychedelics are not? Was it simply based on your anecdotal experience? Quote:

Arron said: People seem to have a way of turning every negative report about mushrooms around & blaming the individual. These experiences are likely underreported, Possibly because of these kind of abusive comments.

99% of comments here are the exact opposite of abusive. Reading people's responses, most of them have been nothing but caring, loving, compassionate etc. No one is blaming you. Mental illness can strike anyone and strikes almost

everyone, in some way shape or form, in their life, through no fault of their own. Quote:

Arron said: What makes your positive reviews any more valid than my negative report?

Nothing. Positive experiences and negative experiences are equally important. This website is dedicated, among other things, to the discussion of all types of psychedelic experiences. No one is invalidating your experience. They are attempting a discussion and you are blowing them off, refusing to take anything they say, and wanting them them to believe you as if your word alone was truth. No one is telling you what you are experiencing, just giving you SUGGESTIONS about what may be occurring from their experiences.

Quote:

Arron said: This does not make sense; They are promoted as a treatment for depression and suicidal thoughts. Yet should not be taken if you have a history of mental health problems.

They say that for harm reduction purposes. And because psychedelics work on the mind, those with mental illness may be more susceptible to negative effects (although there isn't complete evidence of that as these substances are illegal and can't be extensively studied). Quote:

Arron said: Labeling something as Sacred/ Devine does not make it so. ie; the Church (abuse, hatred, rape, corruption etc).

Correct. Labelling something evil does not make it so. Quote:

Arron said: As they have been shown to have permanent neurological effects.

If it is true that mushrooms have been shown to cause permanent NEGATIVE neurological effects, please provide the evidence where this is shown. --------------------

Top

Extras:

Lion

Decadent Flower Magnate

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27088891 - 12/15/20 07:47 AM (7 months, 30 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: They did not rape me during the "trip". It has taken over my dreams (for 3+ years).

Registered: 09/20/05 Posts: 8,680 Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes

The "conversation" mushrooms have with people after they take them, is not an ordinary conversation. It is not a book you can choose to close (though I am still trying to), or a person you can walk away from. They are more like a parasite, or infection. They are living creatures/ beings. Not just another medicine/ substance. It is niave to think they don't have their own kind of agenda. And are using/ abusing vulnerable people? That are then labled as menttaly ill, & alienated or medicated as a way of suppressing those who speak out. This is a report of psychedelic use and dreams. If you were to read others accounts of these experiences, You may also conclude that they are delusional & or mentally unstable/schizophrenics. If you keep lableing all negative experience from this substance as the fault of the individual, you are missing the point, that these mushrooms are not like other psychedelics. They can be decietfull and extremely abusive ( to anyone ). People seem to have a way of turning every negative report about mushrooms around & blaming the individual. These experiences are likely underreported, Possibly because of these kind of abusive comments. What makes your positive reviews any more valid than my negative report? This does not make sense; They are promoted as a treatment for depression and suicidal thoughts. Yet should not be taken if you have a history of mental health problems. Lableing something as Sacred/ Devine does not make it so. ie; the Church (abuse, hatred, rape, corruption etc). From my understanding they are the " Forbidden Fruit" from the bible. To eat them and surely die, may not be a literal death. You may lose your sense of self and free will? As they have been shown to have permanent neurological effects. If you have taken mushrooms already. Then you can never know if your ideas are really your own or the mushrooms.

You use the term "fault," suggesting other users have said that these experiences are "your fault." I think this is a misinterpretation - the psilocybin may indeed have had a very negative effect on you. Few here would deny that mushrooms can produce or potentiate very negative and unwanted conditions in the minds and lives of people who use them. They're not universally positive and beneficial. So, you need to separate these things out. It's not a question of "fault," it's a question of whether what you're describing seems like a plausible or likely interpretation of reality. You can be totally blameless, but that does not mean you are interpreting everything in the most accurate and skillful way. We're all very fallible. I'm not going to claim that I know every property of this mysterious compound. Maybe it does have some sort of sentience, maybe there is some way in which it communicates with people, or opens a line of communication between people and another plane. There's certainly no concrete evidence for that, and it would drastically alter our scientific models of reality, but it's in the realm of possibility. But the simplest explanation here is that these experiences have created a severe imbalance in your perception and interpretation of reality. With respect, it is not likely that a mushroom can abuse and rape a person, especially after the principal active compound has left one's body, which it does pretty quickly after a trip. As I said, I've seen many other posters here having gone through similar things, and I myself have found myself in this kind of state. I wasn't and those posters weren't all doomed to live in that state forever. You have to find grounding and healing, and that may involve western psychiatric interventions, or alternative options, and may involve finding a way to rest for awhile and nourish your body and mind. I would recommend returning to some basics: walking a lot, doing some vigorous exercise for 20-30 minutes a day, staying hydrated, preparing three healthy meals a day for yourself if possible, talking with a trusted friend or family member regularly if possible, and maybe looking into some techniques for positive self affirmation. I wish you well and please don't take any of this as an attack or attempt to invalidate your experiences. I know from my personal experience, sometimes you need to have an outside perspective reminding you that what you're going through is temporary and healing can be found. -------------------“Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Lion]

#27088929 - 12/15/20 08:14 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

Lableing something a "conspiracy theory" is also another way of disregarding something you do not understand. That cell-phones, cell towers, WiFi etc cause cancer & DNA damage is another topic. (Controversial - because of disinformstion & corruption of scientific studies)

If you still think this radiation is safe, you haven't done enough research.(I can post links?).

Top

Extras:

anatomality

Nothern Counterpart

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27088998 - 12/15/20 08:55 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

I wish you all the best Arron. There's nothing wrong with seeking help, for anyone at any time may need it. Some of the ideas you are having seem very 'overwhelming' to you, and you believe your thoughts to be true. Sending positive vibes in your direction. I also sometimes trick myself into believing things that are not true, everyone does. I think you need professional help. If you were willing to try mushrooms, you should be willing to try therapy. Registered: 06/01/20 Posts: 524 Loc: North East Last seen: 1 hour, 59 minutes

All methods are worth a better quality of life. Get home, find a nice spot where you can be safe and work on this. -------------------“The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.” Edited by anatomality (12/15/20 09:00 AM) Top

Extras:

Arron

Stranger

Registered: 12/11/20 Posts: 20 Last seen: 2 months, 1 day

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27089007 - 12/15/20 09:02 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

As you have said; "Few here would deny that mushrooms can produce or potentiate very negative and unwanted conditions in the minds and lives of people who use them. They're not universally positive and beneficial." What mushrooms are is not well understood. They are not in the same food group as; kale, peanuts and Aspirin. I understand my report has caused some cognitive dissonance, it would be upsetting to find out that something you trusted, ingested and advocated could in fact RAPE and TORTURE people. Maybe you could stop arguing with me about the credibility of my report and do some further research yourself to see if you can find any other cases of this happening?

Top

Extras:

Lion

Decadent Flower Magnate

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27089032 - 12/15/20 09:11 AM (7 months, 30 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: As you have said; "Few here would deny that mushrooms can produce or potentiate very negative and unwanted conditions in the minds and lives of people who use them. They're not universally positive and beneficial."

Registered: 09/20/05 Posts: 8,680 Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes

What mushrooms are is not well understood. They are not in the same food group as; kale, peanuts and Aspirin. I understand my report has caused some cognitive dissonance, it would be upsetting to find out that something you trusted, ingested and advocated could in fact RAPE and TORTURE people. Maybe you could stop arguing with me about the credibility of my report and do some further research yourself to see if you can find any other cases of this happening? I've been at this website for 15 years and I've read thousands of trip reports and compared experiences with many fellow users of psychedelics. I have indeed seen people report similar things to what you've described, and in most cases they were diagnosed at some point with paranoid schizophrenia. I myself could have easily received such a diagnosis had I shared my delusions with the average mental health provider at some point. Thankfully I have found other ways of incorporating these darker elements of psychedelic use and of my own psyche - a difficult ongoing work. In the more positive cases people are able to heal and reflect after the fact that they had been going through a mental and/or spiritual crisis that was accompanied by delusive and extremely paranoid ideation. -------------------“Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

Top

Extras:

VP123

Strange

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27089055 - 12/15/20 09:22 AM (7 months, 30 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: Registered: 06/28/19 Posts: 402 Loc: Midwest Last seen: 2 days, 58 minutes

They are not in the same food group as; kale, peanuts and Aspirin. I understand my report has caused some cognitive dissonance, it would be upsetting to find out that something you trusted, ingested and advocated could in fact RAPE and TORTURE people. Maybe you could stop arguing with me about the credibility of my report and do some further research yourself to see if you can find any other cases of this happening?

Aspirin is not a food but ok. I am willing to subject myself to a battery of mental evaluations by independent, licensed, professionals. How about you?

Top

Extras:

VP123

Strange

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27089177 - 12/15/20 10:43 AM (7 months, 30 days ago) Quote:

Registered: 06/28/19 Posts: 402 Loc: Midwest Last seen: 2 days, 58 minutes

Arron said: I understand my report has caused some cognitive dissonance, it would be upsetting to find out that something you trusted, ingested and advocated could in fact RAPE and TORTURE people. Maybe you could stop arguing with me about the credibility of my report and do some further research yourself to see if you can find any other cases of this happening?

You are projecting. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and so far, your only argument is that we should believe you because you said so. If we were to subject ourselves to mental evaluations, do you think the medical professionals would conclude you are correct and everybody else here is wrong?

Top

Extras:

pineninja

Dream Weaver

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]

#27089187 - 12/15/20 10:49 AM (7 months, 30 days ago) Quote:

Arron said: From my experience they are forbidden because they can destroy your sense of self and free will. There are other ways of finding out what is going on. Or thinking for yourself, than taking mushrooms. Registered: 08/18/14 Posts: 12,160 Loc: South

To quote Terrance again, to say; " The mushroom said to me...." Is not thinking for yourself.

They can do that especially if your beliefs about self and free will ran oppposite prior to the truth. Mushrooms given multiple heavy doses will most likely change your world view. Depending on the size of the shift this can be incredibly uncomfortable. The .mushrooms didn't tell you anything. They just allowed you to have a more true conversation with yourself. -------------------Just a fool on the hill.

Top

Extras:

pineninja

Dream Weaver

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: pineninja]

#27089191 - 12/15/20 10:50 AM (7 months, 30 days ago)

I hope with time and space you can allow yourself to get better.

Matthew 15:17-18

Registered: 11/28/19 Posts: 502 Loc: United States --------------------

Keep boring people at a distance with a strategically placed mushroom fascination.

Top

Extras:

Rise against

Stranger

Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Hartford]

#27092768 - 12/17/20 12:54 PM (7 months, 28 days ago)

I'll 2nd that mushrooms have been extremely positive in my life, so much so others have seen the change. Sorry you had a bad experience and are able to find the help you need.

Registered: 09/07/16 Posts: 255 Last seen: 3 months, 8 days

Just like marijuana, and a long list of substances, Psychedelics can bring out schizophrenia, psychosis, and other mental health disorders in people who are genetically prone to them. They are not for everybody.

Edited by Rise against (12/17/20 12:59 PM) Top

Extras:

Pages: < Back | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next > [ show all ]

Jump to top

Shop: Buy Kratom Extract, Kratom Powder For Sale North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom Buy Bali Kratom Powder Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports Similar Threads Hail to the magical mushroom..a trip begins..

Threaded

Poster

Views Replies

pharmacopeia

1,782

Index

Last post 02/24/02 05:46 PM by pharmacopeia

People researching the option to take psychedelics, can get stuck in loops of conformation bias as exampled by this advert for the Gaia Website.

100

101

102

103

104

105

106

107

108

109

110

111

112

113

114

115

116

117

118

119

120

121

122

123

124

125

126

127

128

129

130

131

132

133

134

135

136

137

138

139

WARNING- EXPLICIT CONTENT

Type text here

140

141

142

143

144

145

146

147

148

149

150

151

152

153

154

155

156

157

158

159

160

161

162

163

164

CHAPTER 2

Jung & Psychotherapy. “History, the legends and myths in which it has its roots and of which the dreaming process seemed so dynamic an element, appeared to be written in a way that offered no explanations and threw no light on its latent meaning. It seemed to ignore some unrecognized new meaning that was trying to draw attention to itself through war, social upheaval, racial conflict, individual tragedy and disaster that had been inflicted upon the human race since its expulsion from the garden at the beginning. There seemed to be an underworld of history filled with forces far more powerful than the superficial ones that history professed to serve. Until this world was brought out into the light of day and recognized and understood, I believed that an amply discredited pattern of self-inflicted death and disaster would continue to reiterate itself and dominate the human scene. I had even coined a name for it called the `Mythological dominant of history.” I came also to suspect that this area in myself from which my childhood interest in dreams had come was connected with it in a way not yet understood, because it was itself the subject of one the most dangerous errors in our thinking. We assumed that `without’ and `objective’ were one and the same thing, as were `subjective’ and `within’. I believed that they were by no means synonymous and there was something as objective within the human being as great as the objective without. If that were so, then men were subject to two great objective worlds; the physical world without; and a world within, invisible except to the sensibilities of the imagination. This objective world within had its own irrefutable geography and laws that one ignored or defied at one’s mortal peril. “Dreams had a will of steel, and a way of their own in their role as direct manifestations of this inner objectivity. They were incapable of falsehood. Only our reading of them was liable to error, and I had an inkling that they, and the prompting of this other objectivity within, were the true source of mythology, religion, legend and art.” - Carl Gustav Jung. (‘Jung & the story of our time’- Laurens Vaan Der Post, Page 19). Jung tended to lead a highly compartmentalized existence, creating concepts to shield himself from reality. The above statement shows that he had absolute faith/ conviction in the benevolence of dreams. This approach was the basis of his life’s work, & is entirely false. Dreams can lie, trick, control, abuse, rape & torture people. They can be absolute Hell, & cause insanity & suicide. Dreams are not always psychological self-help puzzles, as Jung believed. This Jungian attitude has pervaded the current thinking & approach to psychedelic therapy & use among many people. Leading to an unfortunate & dangerous situation 165

where the abuse & torture suffered by people on psychedelics is pathologized, blamed on the victim, or seen as a teaching/ healing/ release of subconscious trauma or suppressed emotions. Pseudo-scientific Jungian depth psychology & trans personal/ integrative therapy, with their invented categorization of non-existent sub-conscious concepts, has created a false map of the mind. Most people are unaware of the extent that these false ideals distort their view of psychedelic & alternative states of consciousness. In his May 12, 1995, lecture “Mescaline and the ‘Other World’, presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association, Aldous Huxley commented on the discarnate entities that may populate humanity’s mental geography; “Through these landscapes and among these living architectures wander strange figures, sometimes of human beings (or even of what seem to be superhuman beings), sometimes of animals or fabulous monsters. Giving a straightforward prose description of what he used to see in his spontaneous visions, William Blake reports that he frequently saw beings, to whom he gave the name of Cherubim. These beings were a hundred and twenty feet high and were engaged (this is characteristic of the personages seen in vision) in doing nothing that could be thought of as being symbolic or dramatic. In this respect the inhabitants of the mind’s Antipodes differ from the figures inhabiting Jung’s archetypal world; for they have nothing to do either with the personal history of the visionary, or even with the age-old problems of the human race. Quite literally, they are the inhabitants of “The Other World”. - Aldous Huxley. (From an article about DMT entities- Jon Hanna, Erowid). The following is a response from Dutch psychologist Johanna Hilla, after reading my Facebook page mushroom report; (17/ August/ 2021). “Hello Lester, I thought that it might be easier to send a voice message. Without going into too much detail about your question, I guess I would like to say that my experiences have been mostly very positive with mushrooms, however I have had, (due to certain additional circumstances), also a few experiences which were very, very terrible. Once with LSD, & I think it also happened with mushrooms, ounce I had a bad experience with DMT as well. So, I do have experience with dark trips and paranoid states, and luckily, I don’t think I had experience of anything of anything as intense as what you just described. However, I am familiar with the entity experiences and encounters, I suppose it could be said, and personally I have absolutely no idea what to make of it. Jungian psychology helps to explain the psychedelic realms as symbolic, however, I understand that this does not quite correspond to the vividness of these experiences that happen to many people. And therefore, that explanation is also insufficient. And yet there is some kind of truth to it which may be helpful for people to conceptualize their experiences, as something trying to communicate something that is, archetypal 166

in its format, yet relevant for the individual in particular. So whatever the mushrooms are, I don’t know, I mean, they are, I suppose they are a kind of alien technology, that has very much its own intentions and will, and I don’t by any means believe this is purely, well how would I say; benevolent, in a sense. I think what has been helpful for me, has been learning about the archetype of the ‘trickster’ figure. Which I think, very much has something to do with the spirits of the mushrooms. I have mainly experienced the positive sides of it, but I have also never taken such a high dose, which I think requires some kind of a setting in which a person who has some experience with shamanism would be present. I understand that these experiences overlap into the side of paranormal, or create a sense of being invaded by spirits, something that I have also experienced myself. With regard to how to come to terms with those experiences, well personally, I think building one’s own health & mental wellbeing, through social connections is very important, we need relationships, effort into one’s own health is very important. & I personally after some of these experiences, I took almost a year break from any psychedelics, just did not go into that territory, but at the same time I could not undermine the positive influence that it has had in my life. Although I do understand that the negative experiences can be extremely terrorizing. So, I don’t really know what else to say to that, I think sobriety is something that can gradually help to build one out of the kind of terror that these experiences may bring & may be eventually able to see them retrospectively in a somewhat positive light. However, as you mention that your dreams have been very influenced by these terrible experiences, I realize that it is still something that is very much in your unconscious, and I guess the only thing that I can really recommend is to find some kind of professional help, preferably somebody with some experience of dream analysis, or with some experience of night terrors, that may be helpful. I don’t know if you have any background in any kind of religion or spirituality that you brings you comfort, but I think doing that kind of practice is something that is very, very helpful in just recovering from what can also be, or feel like a very damaging experience. So, I realize that I’ve sent a lot of voice messages no, I just did not feel like typing, I’m on my phone, so I don’t really fancy writing. So I hope that there was something that you thought was helpful, & I hope that your dong good & I agree with you that talking about these negative experiences is extremely important, however I also believe that it is important that mushrooms and cannabis are decriminalized, and that their use can continue, without their being any kind of legal obstacles to it. It’s very hard to talk about these extremely challenging experiences which do happen to people.” Psychiatrist - Johanna Hilla. 167

168

CHAPTER 3

MAPS & Transpersonal Psychotherapy. Maps group, (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies). Is the leading research group for psychedelics in the USA. Based around integrative & transpersonal psychotherapy. The misguided approach of seeing and treating everything that happens to people on psychedelics as material from the sub-conscious/ collective consciousness or psyche, to be understood, `mapped’ & integrated, & the false belief that there are no `bad trips’, only challenging ones. They believe that; if there is a lasting negative effect it is the fault of ‘certain individuals predisposition’, or the fault of set & setting/ dose. The alternate dimension & entities encountered are considered benign & above question, incapable of harm. As Michael Pollen has said, even experienced users cannot avoid bad psychedelic trips, (experiences of Hell, satanic entities, torture, obscene content etc). “There are many people who have a series of good trips & then they have a bad one”. “Guides don’t like the term “bad trip”, they prefer to call them “challenging trips”. (Michael Pollen- youtube.com) Maps are not searching for evidence to disprove their findings, (to find the truth about psychedelics), or to raise any awareness of the dangers. From their website; “Maps is on a mission to create safe and legal opportunities for the use of psychedelics in society”. Their agenda is to commercialize psychedelic therapies & make them available as medical treatments. They (Rick Doblin, Maps director), believe that psychedelics are; “to the study of the mind, what the microscope is to biology & the telescope is to astronomy.” (Stanislov Grof). This is unscientific/incorrect, because psychedelics change how the mind works, (permanently in some or possibly all cases). They are no longer studying the human mind, it has been altered by the use of a drug, that has many unknown & unmeasurable, permanent effects, (alterations to dream content, changes to sense of self, thoughts, behavior etc.). From Rick Doblin’s TED Talk; “Modern neuroscience research has demonstrated that psychedelics reduce activity, in what is known as the brains default mode network. This is where we create our sense of self, it is our equivalent of the ego. It filters all incoming information according to our personal needs & priorities. When activity is reduced in our default mode network, our ego shifts from the foreground to the background.” ~ “Studies 169

have shown long term changes to brain function.” “They are really just tools”- Rick Doblin. It is a simplistic & mechanistic view of the mind to reduce it to; part a causes; x There is much more going on than changes in areas of brain function, that can be seen in scanners. The concept of the ego has become synonymous with negative connotations in modern culture. Due to the self-reporting of psychedelic users, feminist groups & psychotherapy (Jung). Creating a belief that the ego or sense of self, is something to be killed, reduced or transcended. This no different than thinking that any other part of the mind needs to be permanently changed/ altered from its natural condition. In Rick Doblins Ted Talk, he jokingly encouraged everyone in the audience to take psychedelics. He makes no warning of any dangers. This is typical of the kind of carelessness, lack of awareness & disregard for safety shown by many academics & proponents of psychedelic therapies. It is often said that people lose their fear of death following psychedelic sessions. This could also be seen as being a step closer to suicide. Transpersonal- Psychotherapy, psychedelic integration therapies, used & advocated by the Maps team, are not founded on measurable scientific facts, they are pseudoscientific theories, that are attributing conditions to miscellaneous effects/ causes. They are treating psychedelics as a safe `tool’ for self-improvement therapy. Like a subconscious foam-pit, a jigsaw puzzle of repressed material to be integrated. When there is no evidence of where this information is from, or understanding of why there are so many bizarre & unexplained experiences. They are not considering that the entities people encounter on psychedelics are real, autonomous & capable of being malevolent/ evil. They are treating the mind like a test tube full of chemicals & reactions to be observed, from a biased perspective of believing these drugs have therapeutic uses. As exampled by brain scan images showing heightened neurological activity/ brain communication following the administration of a psychedelic; If there was no activity or the lines made a picture of a Cheshire cat, these scientists would be equally as impressed with their discovery. The current scientific methods are not able to discern the range of effects these substances cause. The heightened activity may be a stress response ? Awakening, Enlightenment, ego-death & mystical transcendent experiences, may be no more than hypnotic delusions. A mirage. What psychedelic practitioners refer to as `ego-death’, may actually be something else taking control, (possession by entities). 170

Many trips describe encountering clowns/tricksters/evil entities & scenes of hell, before encountering the illusion of transcending these scenes or experiencing what they call; ego-death/unity or enlightenment. These earlier encounters with satanic & malevolent influences, could be seen a sign that the entire experience is a fabrication/hallucination/ a trick/ deceitful. Because these shape-shifting tricksters, with the ability to create & subject people to horrific scenes of torture & evil are present in these experiences, I think it discredits any further information from these encounters. These entities are not projections of unresolved trauma from the subconscious, collective consciousness or psyche. They appear to be autonomous beings, that can possess and control people. There have been several reports of people being raped by these entities while on psychedelics, (in my case it has become a parasite, that has taken over my mind/ dreams permanently). As there is no data-base or independent authority to report these crimes to, it is impossible to know how many people this abuse has happened to. The people who report this kind of abuse under guided therapy (MAPS) etc, are referred to integrative/transpersonal therapists, & pressured into “re-framing” this abuse as something to learn from (See; DMT- Spirit Molecule, Rape report). This situation is sickening & needs to stop. Complaints of abuse from entities/ bad trips/ rape & permanent changes to dream content are not the fault of “certain individuals”. There is no way to screen people to avoid these events. This abuse is caused by unseen satanic/ evil forces/ entities. Integration is not the solution, these reports should be collected by an independent website or agency, so that an accurate “map” & understanding of what people are encountering on psychedelics, can be made. Transpersonal & integrative psychotherapies methods of “re-framing” these events, is in effect no different than lying about what has happened. These lasting changes to dream content are not being recognized for their autonomy & ability to deliberately control, sabotage & torture, (the malevolent nature of these entities/ effects is denied/ignored). This approach is leading to sadism, seeing suffering & abuse as a source of healing. This parallels with religion & shamans views of suffering as a blessing, a state to be encouraged. These states differ from suffering that is strengthening, such as weight lifting/ exercise or confronting challenges/ adversities. Because the psychedelic experience is a state of absolute surrender to the substance consumed. Submersed & altered by the drug’s effects, people are not in control of these experiences. Maps are reporting clinically significant results, yet, even if everyone who participated in a psychedelic study reported improvements. It still does not mean these substances are safe. Because they do not act like other substances/ medications. They have unknown properties, & effects that are currently unmeasurable. 171

The book; “Your psilocybin mushroom companion”- by Michelle Janikian describes the Jungian theory of confronting & integrating the shadow, the belief that confronting your worst fears, releasing to it & accepting it without fear or anxiety, shame or resistance is healing. (Consider you are confronted with a psychopathic sadistic rapist & murderer, that is alien, as can be encountered on psychedelics & this approach becomes insane). Confronting the ‘shadow’ applied to the psychedelic experience is a false & dangerous idea, the ‘shadow’ is an invented concept from psychotherapy. As can be seen from the following example of this theory applied to a psychedelic experience, it does not make much sense either; “For example, recently on a medium-dose trip of 2.5 grams, I saw how selfish and demanding I can be in my relationship with my partner. It shamed me greatly, and tears came rolling down my cheeks at an unstoppable rate. But although it was challenging, my experience wasn’t negative. I also saw how much my partner loves me and all that he does for me. It brought happy tears to my eyes because I was so grateful to have him in my life. The key is I accepted it; I didn’t disagree with this realization or try to fight it. But instead, I let this shadow quality of mine come into the light and started thinking of ways to change. It gave me great hope and ecstatic, happy feeling knowing that I can choose to act in another way. This is where integration plays a big part. Now that I had this confrontation with my shadow, I can actively do things in my relationship to continue to confront my selfishness and not let it take over and ultimately destroy our connection. For me personally, my integration involves actively taking a bigger role in household chores like sweeping, making dinner, and walking the dogs. I didn’t get rid of my shadow (I’m still selfish sometimes, but who isn’t?, but now that I know sometimes, I can be too selfish, I can step back and make adjustments to my behavior.” (P-125). This is not the same as the extreme experiences (trips to hell) people are reporting from psychedelics; with alien/ disincarnate entities/ alternate dimensions etc. What she has done is highlight a behavior she believes unhelpful then labeled it a ‘shadow’. Personifying a personality trait or behavior. This is really a schizoid way to think of yourself. It is creating a schism in the personality that may not have existed before studying these Jungian ideas. Many dreams create scenes to try and control people. I think they are like ‘Gods’ PlayStation controller, in everyone’s minds. When you attribute unwanted behavior to a ‘shadow’ character in your mind, it is in effect only strengthening your belief in a separate, ‘malevolent’ self, that may encourage these traits to amplify, or invoke the presence of satanic entities. 172

Ann Shulgin says that the ‘shadow’ is not inherently good or evil, she believes they are traits that have been suppressed or forbidden in childhood, that become a monster because they are ignored. To say they are repressed or suppressed personality traits, that need to be given attention or acted upon are ideas encouraging destructive antisocial behavior. Even if these phenomena were only repressed human behaviors, acting out or incorporating the ‘archetypes' or extremes of any behaviors could be very damaging to ‘self’ & others. These concepts are being used as a framework for integrating ‘bad trips.’ They are entirely inappropriate transference projections of ‘self’ onto autonomous beings that exist in alternate dimensions. As Strassmann & other psychedelic researchers have shown, the contents of psychedelic experiences & dreams are not simply self-generated subconscious information for personal therapy. Many treat mushrooms as sentient, & as it connects or activates something capable of being deceitful & malevolent. Psychedelic therapy is a corrupt & dangerous practice that should be stopped immediately.

173

174

175

176

177

178

CHAPTER 4

Mushroom Gurus. Mycologist, & author of 6 mushroom books & owner of mushroom supplement company, Paul Stamets, has made a career out of promoting the use of magic mushrooms. He believes that mushrooms are the `forbidden fruit` from the bible. I think he (like many others) has become `entranced` by the use of magic mushrooms, & cannot see alternative views, or believe that they are capable of the abuse I have described; “Psilocybin mushrooms, their wonderful, their peaceful, their loving”- Paul Stamets. There is a belief that any negative effects will only last the duration of the trip, though it is accepted that the positive effects are lasting, (personality changes, emotional responses etc). This is clearly false. What is not being researched is how psilocybin and other hallucinogens, permanently effect dreams. From my experience & several other reports, (including Stamets himself), it has been noticed that mushrooms cause lasting effects to dream content. Quotes from Stamets book, `Psilocybin Mushrooms of the World`.“Before setting out on a mushroom session, users should come to an understanding with themselves; no matter what happens, you will come down” (page- 43). In another chapter of the same book, he describes having a pre-cognitive dream 8 hours after taking mushrooms;“This was like no other dream I had ever had; there was a particularly foreboding strangeness to it that struck at the very core of my being”. (page- 7). Mushrooms do not stop effecting people once they have taken them. The following quote is from the introduction to the same book; “I sensed they were guardians of the sacred forests- conscious & watchful of my presence. Mushroom spirits soon enveloped my daily life, convincing me that they could be vehicles for greater good”. (`Psilocybin Mushrooms of the World` - Page 1). In reference to how often he took magic mushrooms, Stamets replied; A common phrase used by Terrance Mckenna & Allan Watts; “When you pick up the phone & get the message, hang up”. Nevertheless, the last time he took mushrooms, he thought to himself; “Why am I not doing these more often?”.

179

It is not explained, why you should hang up? (Not take them again). It should be said that they can alter your brain in such a way that you cannot hang up. They can cause; constant dream like visions, controlling, abusive, rape & torture leading to suicide. In a question asked by Danielle Negrin, (Executive director San Franscisco psychedelic society), to Paul Stamets & Dennis Mckenna; “Many people experience voices or entities, in your opinions is this an internal or external creation?” They; Stamets & Mckenna, would not reply, did not know, & did not want to talk about it. (Youtube.com - A tribute to Terrance Mckenna; Dennis Mckenna + Paul Stamets interview). Entities may or may not exist separately from consciousness, what I know is that something can affect the mind with severe abusive content, & this phenomena is not correctly understood by scientific researchers/ psychedelic therapists. Source: True Hallucinations by Terence Mckenna “I am old, older than thought in your species, which is itself fifty times older than your history. Though I have been on earth for ages I am from the stars. My home is no one planet, for many worlds scattered through the shining disc of the galaxy have conditions which allow my spores an opportunity for life. The mushroom which you see is the part of my body given to sex thrills and sun bathing, my true body is a fine network of fibers growing through the soil. These networks may cover acres and may have far more connections than the number in a human brain. My mycelial network is nearly immortal--only the sudden toxification of a planet or the explosion of it’s parent star can wipe me out. By means impossible to explain because of certain misconceptions in your model of reality all my mycelial networks in the galaxy are in hyperlight communication through space and time. The mycelial body is as fragile as a spider’s web but the collective hypermind and memory is a vast historical archive of the career of evolving intelligence on many worlds in our spiral star swarm. Space, you see, is a vast ocean to those hardy life forms that have the ability to reproduce from spores, for spores are covered with the hardest organic substance known. Across the aeons of time and space drift many spore forming life-forms in suspended animation for millions of years until contact is made with a suitable environment. Few such species are minded, only myself and my recently evolved near relatives have achieved the hyper-communication mode and memory capacity that makes us leading members in the community of galactic intelligence. How the hypercommunication mode operates is a secret which will not be lightly given to humans. 180

But the means should be obvious: it is the occurrence of psilocybin and psilocin in the biosynthetic pathways of my living body that opens for me and my symbiots the vision screens to many worlds. You as an individual and Homo sapiens as a species are on the brink of the formation of a symbiotic relationship with my genetic material that will eventually carry humanity and earth into the galactic mainstream of the higher civilizations. Since it is not easy for you to recognize other varieties of intelligence around you, your most advanced theories of politics and society have advanced only as far as the notion of collectivism. But beyond the cohesion of the members of a species into a single social organism there lie richer and even more baroque evolutionary possibilities. Symbiosis is one of these. Symbiosis is a relation of mutual dependence and positive benefits for both species involved. Symbiotic relationships between myself and civilized forms of higher animals have been established many times and in many places throughout the long ages of my development. These relationships have been mutually useful; within my memory is the knowledge of hyperlight drive ships and how to build them. I will trade this knowledge for a free ticket to new worlds around suns younger and more stable than your own. To secure an eternal existence down the long river of cosmic time, I again and again offer this agreement to higher beings and thereby have spread throughout the galaxy over the long millennia. A mycelial network has no organs to move the world, no hands; but higher animals with manipulative abilities can become partners with the star knowledge within me and if they act in good faith, return both themselves and their humble mushroom teacher to the million worlds to which all citizens of our starswarm are heir.” Terence Mckenna; Mushrooms, Aliens, evolution and language. From: Sacred Mushroom of Visions, Teonanactl, Ralph Metzner. (P36-37). “No account of the world psilocybin mushrooms, or tryptamine hallucinogens in general for that matter would be complete without an acknowledgement of the profound and far-reaching contributions of Terence McKenna. Before his death in the year 2000 of a brain tumor, at the age of fifty-three, he had become the most articulate, provocative, and inspiring spokesman for what could be called the “psychedelic movement,” a loose nonorganized association of shamanic consciousness explores, pagan hippie revelers, techno-freaks, and advocates for global cultural evolution, who share a passionate interest in natural and synthetic mind-expanding technologies. Some have said he inherited the mantle of psychedelic prophet from Timothy Leory. Certainly, he shared with Leary the Irishman’s gift of eloquence and biting satirical wit, the intellectual brilliance and enthusiasm for 181

radical innovation, as well as down to earth kindness and outrageous humor. In 1971, Terrance ad his brother Denis, young men in their twenties, went to the Amazon with some friends to search for ayahuasca, the legendary shamanic hallucinogen. What they found instead were large quantities of psilocybin mushrooms, with which they began what they called “the experiment at La Chorrera.” This was described in their book The invisible Landscape. Basically, the experiment consisted of them repeatedly ingesting large quantities of the mushrooms, listening to a kind of interior, alien-sounding buzzing or humming sound, and then reproducing that sound vocally to induce a lasting expanded state of consciousness. They had an elaborate and complex theory of how the psilocybin could activate endogenous tryptamines in the brain and create some kind of “holo-cybernetic unit of superconductive genetic material in which the entirety of the DNA memory bank would be at the command of the harmine readout mechanism, activated via tryptamine harmonic interference” (Mckenna and McKenna 1975). They later wrote that they experienced what psychologists would call a kind of shared psychotic break, with one of them becoming reactive and the other paranoid schizophrenic, a state that lasted for several weeks. Many unusual paranormal phenomena accompanied this state; synchronicities, telepathic communication between them, even sightings of what seemed like a UFO, and the apparent partial creation of some kind of hyperspatial communication device. One could say it was as much a shamanic madness initiation, a mythic journey to the outer reaches of mind, as it was schizophrenia. The two intrepid explorers wrote a complex and difficult book on their experiences and theories... On first returning to the USA, the McKenna’s, more convinced than ever of the value of psilocybin mushrooms, wrote and published, under pseudonyms and with collaboration of Kathleen Harrison as illustrator, the first ‘Magic mushroom Growers Guide’, which gave easy instructions for indoor cultivation and made the mushroom exp0erience accessible to thousands (Oss and Oeric 1976). In it, Terrance described a vision he received, perhaps the core and guiding vision of his life, of the interstellar origin of the mycelial nets, the true body of the mushrooms, which he believed maintain a “vast historical archive of the career of evolving intelligence on many worlds.” The mycelial networks seek habitable planets, he was told, where they can enter into symbiotic communication and exchange with intelligent species, providing that species with access to the “community of galactic intelligence.” The notion of the true form of the mushroom being the mycelial nets and the emphasis on symbiotic interactions of fungi with other species are points consistent with current scientific understanding of fungal evolution, as formulated in the works of Paul Stamets and Lynn Margulis. The idea of extraterrestrial origin in unequally and provocatively Terrance McKenna, emissary from the world of entheogenic fungi...” (Sacred Mushroom of Visions, Teonanactl, Ralph Metzner. (P36-37).

182

CHAPTER 5

Mushroom Growing Books. After hearing about others claims that magic mushrooms could treat depression, I decided to grow my own. I read several books about growing mushrooms, none of them warned of the serious risk & extent of the permanent damage they can cause. Books I read about growing mushrooms include; - Magic Mushroom Growers Guide- (By Quaesitor). - Psilocybin, Mushroom growers Handbook- (By L.G. Nicholas & Kerry Ogame). - Growing Gormet & Medical Mushrooms, 3rd edition- (Paul Stamets). O.T. Oss and O.N. Oric’s book, Psilocybin; Magic Mushroom Growers Guide; this book from the 1970’s created an explosion of interest in magic mushrooms, & has sold over 150,000 copies. Though I have not read it, it is worth noting that the pseudonyms the authors (Terrance & Dennis Mckenna), chose to use in the title of the book, had a hidden meaning, explained by Dennis Mckenna; ‘Oneric`- Means; relating to dreams or dreaming. `Otiose`- Means; an unnecessary idea. Meaning; `Dreams that are unnecessary`. Dennis Mckennas explanation of the word, ‘Otiose’, is that it means from far away. Meaning; `Dreams from far away`. As he explains in a youtube talk; A tribute to Terrance Mckenna; Dennis Mckenna & Paul Stamets interview. (11:44). Because Terrance Mckenna (O.T. Oss), is no longer here to confirm what was intended by the meaning, it is difficult to be certain why they chose these names. “There are good reasons for applying the term ‘oneirogenic,’ producing dreams, to psychedelics drugs. In its imagery, emotional tone, and vagaries of thought and selfawareness, the drug trip, especially with eyes closed, resembles no other state so much as a dream.” - (‘Frontiers of Neuroscience Journal, PMID: 29403350). It has been said mushrooms are extraterrestrial; “Spores can be extraterrestrial, psilocybin cubensis, is producing enormous amounts of spore mass on this planet, going out into outer space, so the spores are going 183

extraterrestrial, away from the earth, the mother-ship, into the Cosmos.” - Paul Stamets. As other scientists have shown mushrooms cause ‘neurogenesis’, meaning permanent changes to brain structure. It is not understood what this extra growth is capable of doing. Is it creating a parasite like control center, to spread the mushrooms/ alien’s agenda? A Wi-Fi like antennae/ receiver connecting people to an invisible network of information controlled by Satanic forces/ Demonic entities that may appear as benign/ caring messengers? “The Pineal gland could act as an antenna or lightening rod for the soul.” - Rick Strassman, M.D. “You can think of psychedelics as enzymes or catalysts for the production of mental structure” - Terrance Mckenna. (Permanent neurophysiological changes). “It seems that psilocybin mushrooms have influenced and shaped our perceptions from the earliest stages of human history.” “They are deterministic in the evolution of habitat.” - Paul Stamets.

184

CHAPTER 6

DMT-The Spirit Molecule. M.D., & psychedelic researcher Rick Strassmans book, was recommended to me by a reader of my mushroom report, because it contains another account of someone being raped while on psychedelics. I had not read this book before taking mushrooms. Strassman suggests that DMT can affect the brain’s ability to receive information instead of only generating perceptions. He also proposes that DMT can allow people to perceive dark matter, parallel universes & realms of existence inhabited by conscious entities. DMT is a psychedelic chemically very similar to psilocybin, likely accessing the same dimensions & encountering the same entities as other psychedelics. Typical effects of DMT include; visual hallucinations, a separation of consciousness from the physical body, & strange feeling of encountering `the other’, alien entities, demonic beings, reptiles, clowns, gremlins, elves etc. One research participants dreams were altered after a psychedelic session. (Page, 15). It is not made clear weather other participants noticed similar effects, or if this (changes to dreams), was even a consideration of the researchers. “It was not unusual for research participants to struggle through terrifying nightmares.” (During the session). “It was impossible to predict what would happen after taking a psychedelic.” “They effect every aspect of our consciousness.” “Some volunteers who were given too much DMT, could only remember that something frightening had happened.” Strassmann believed psychedelics exert their effects by only 3 variable elements; set, setting & drug/ dose. (Page 29). It is overlooked that there are other factors, variables that cannot be accounted for or controlled, that effect these experiences; What is happening in the wider world at the time? What is happening in alternate dimensions? What the entities agenda is? & How they perceive people.“The experience elicited by hallucinogens presents the highest similarity to dreaming within a large database of psychoactive substance reports.” (PMCID; 29403350). In another research paper from ‘Current Neuropharmacology’ by Rainer Kraehemann, states in their conclusion; 185

“The broad overlap between dreaming and psychedelic states supports the notion that psychedelics acutely induce dreamlike subjective experiences which may have long-term beneficial effects on psychosocial functioning and well-being. Future clinical studies should examine how therapeutic outcome is related to the acute dreamlike effects of psychedelics.” (PMID; 28625125). They have not considered that if psychedelics can cause long-term benefits to dreaming, they can also cause permanent negative changes, alterations to dream content, a re-programing, resulting in directed, abusive hypnotic constructions from a satanic ‘god’. The following quotes are from the book; DMT, The Spirit Molecule, Rick Strassmann; “A spirit molecule also leads us to spiritual realms. These worlds usually are invisible to us and our instruments and are not accessible using our normal state of consciousness. However, just as likely as the theory that these worlds exist “only in our minds” is that they are, in reality, “outside” of us and freestanding.” ~ “...for spiritual realms contain both heaven and hell, both fantasy and nightmare. While the spirit molecule’s role may seem angelic, there is no guarantee it will not take us to the demonic.” - (Page; 54-55). “It is usually rather difficult to get a clear sense of what exactly happens during psychedelic drug sessions in the research environment. This is especially common when adverse reactions occur in studies when the research team has a vested interest in demonstrating the drugs beneficial effects.” (Page 249). “What made the effects adverse was not the experience itself, but the volunteer’s reaction to it”. (Page 249). This belief, that all negative effects are the fault of individuals reactions, is as false as blaming the victims of rape for the attack. “For some volunteers, their high-dose experiences were powerfully unsettling..” (Page 251) The following report is from Strassmans research findings;

186

WARNING, CONTAINS DISTURBING CONTENT “MDMA is what I like to call a “love & light” drug, one that accentuates the positive and minimizes the negative, If only life were that simple; Ken wore baggy, tie-dyed thin cotton pants the next day and a wild psychedelic T-shirt. The nurses at the front desk commented on how cue he was. His breath seemed to catch in his throat as the flush cleared whatever remained of the high dose of DMT from his IV line. Based upon Philips and other volunteers reactions to high doses of DMT, this small choking sound almost always was a sign of a powerful effect. Kens head rocked back and forth, and his feet, involuntarily it seemed, flopped up and down on the bed, as if to discharge the excessive tension he felt. He settled down at about the 5-minute point, but grimaced and shook his head. Within a couple more minutes he took off his eyeshades and stared straight ahead. His pupils remained large, so Laura and I sat quietly, waiting for him to come down further. At 14 minutes, looking shaken but keeping some composure, he started; “There were two crocodiles. On my chest. Crushing me, raping me anally. I didn’t know if I would survive. At first I thought I was having nightmare. Then I realized it was really happening. I was glad he didn’t have the rectal probe in place, this being a screening day. Tears formed in his eyes, but stayed there. It sounds awful. It was awful. It’s the most scared I’ve ever been in my life. I wanted to ask to hold your hands, but I was pinned so firmly I couldn’t move, and couldn’t speak. Jesus!” “His experience was over, so there was little advice we could give about letting go, or trying to get past his reptilian assailants. He been stuck, and the most we could do was try and help him accept, and maybe even learn something from, his session.”. (DMT The Spirit Molecule, Rick Strassmann. P-252). “It’s easy, with hindsight, to relate Kens negative entity-contact experience on a high dose of DMT to his habit of fending off any dark, shadowy aspects of himself. His psychological defenses were just too weak to function under the spirit molecules powerful influence.”. (P-253.) Strassmanns response to this event is, I think, clinically insane; His research volunteer has been raped by entities following the administration of DMT. He then says that his advice would have been to ‘let go’, or ‘get past’ his reptilian assailants, (though it was too late). On the next page he has made a further hypocritical ambiguous comment, blaming Ken for being raped, because of his habit of fending off dark & shadowy aspects of himself, (being defensive), then Strassmann claims Kens psychological ‘defenses’ were too weak to function under the influence of DMT. I think Strassmann should face criminal charges for misconduct. (I do not know if he has been taken to court?). “I chose to disregard reports I had heard about contact with beings on DMT and was 187

unprepared for dealing with their frequency in our work.” (P-279). “I describe this conclusion- that is, that lasting or substantial benefit from high dose DMT sessions in our setting was difficult to see. Combined with the gradually growing incidence of adverse effects, I saw the risk-to-benefit ratio turning less favorable.” (P280) “Although difficult to admit, anxiety about really doing this sort of work. Anyone who knows anything about administering psychedelics gets nervous just thinking about it.” (P-282). “I was also unprepared for the overwhelmingly frequent reports of contact with beings. They challenged my view of the brain and reality. They also stretched and frayed my ability to empathies and support our volunteers.” ~ “Long term benefits seemed minimal, while adverse effects stood out more sharply and were accumulating. I could not comfortably accept nor incorporate the remarkably high frequency of being contact.” (P-292). “She said; “I see evil spirits hovering around you. They want to come through this plane, using you and the drugs. I’m worried. This does not look good to me.” (P-292). “Another problem was how to relate what I knew about Buddhist approaches to nonmaterial beings with what our volunteers were reporting. For example, Tibetan and Japanese versions of Buddhism possess a full roster of demons, gods, and angels. I understand these encounters to symbolically represent certain qualities of ourselves, not autonomous noncorporeal life forms. When volunteers began reporting contact, my first reaction was, “Oh, this is something they talk about in Buddhism. They are just aspects of our own minds.” These encounters got stranger, however, and the beings started, probing, inserting things into, eating, and raping our volunteers. A Buddhist framework seemed less capable of explaining these types of experiences.” (P-301). “Our volunteers reports were so clear, convincing, and “real” that I repeatedly though, “this sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard about in my therapy patients dream life. It is much more bizarre, well-remembered, and internally consistent.” In addition, a biological explanation along the lines of a waking dream or hallucination usually brought on a certain resistance within the volunteer.” ~ “Freudian psychoanalytic systems would understand the experience of contact with beings as an expression of unconscious conflicts over aggressive, sexual, or dependency impulses. There were certainly times I used this approach in reacting to particular dreamlike sessions. However, I could not in good conscience suggest that any repressed unconscious infantile drives were behind the experimental manipulations by, or communication with, these beings.” (P-314). “The alternative levels are as real as this one. It’s just that we cannot perceive them 188

most of the time.” (P-315). “We succeeded in opening a door that had remained tightly locked for a generation. However, the box, like pandoras, once opened, let out a force with its own agenda and language. It was a power that healed, hurt, startled, and was indifferent in wild and unpredictable ways.” (p- 343). “I resigned from the university and returned the drugs and the last years’ worth of grant money to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.” (P-307). “Now after several years of additional study and reflection, I think it’s worth considering seriously weather it’s possible that these experiences indeed were exactly what they seemed to be.” (DMT, The Spirit Molecule, Rick Strassmann. (P-313). “Another problem was how to relate what I knew about Buddhist approaches to nonmaterial beings with what our volunteers were reporting. For example, Tibetan and Japanese versions of Buddhism possess a full roster of demons, gods, and angels. I understood these encounters to symbolically represent certain qualities of ourselves, not autonomous noncorporeal life forms. When volunteers began reporting contact, my first reaction was, “Oh this is something they talk about in Buddhism. They are just aspects of our own minds.” These encounters got stranger, however, and beings started testing, probing, inserting things into, eating, and raping our volunteers. A Buddhist framework seemed less capable of explaining these types of experiences.” (DMT- The Spirit Molecule, Rick Strassman, M.D. - (P-301) “In preparation for writing these chapters on DMT sessions, I reviewed every page of my bedside notes. It took a month to look over all of them, cutting and pasting peoples reports into various groupings pf experience. One of these categories “adverse effects,” in which I placed difficult or troublesome responses to DMT. Parts of twenty-five people’s sessions landed in this “bin.” These adverse effects ranged from being subtle, minor, and extremely brief to those that were terrifying, dangerous, and lingering. Twenty five out of sixty volunteers seemed like a lot. At the time, I never sensed that nearly half of our volunteers were having problems. Was I minimizing difficulties in my desire to forge ahead in the research under any and all conditions? This number was even more surprising because I hoped to reduce the incidence of frightening reactions to DMT by studying only normal volunteers with previous psychedelic drug experience.” (P-247). “Andrea returned for the tolerance project the next month. Before getting started I steered her toward her fear. ” Are you afraid of being unconscious? If so, it’s all right to black out. You can just pass out. Go for it. You can lose your mind, you will get it back, it’ll be all right. Four doses of DMT will wear you down today. Hopefully, you’ll just give up without too much pain and fear.” (P-256). “When all is said and done, the fact remains that the spirit molecule does not always 189

lead us to love and light. It can open our eyes to terrifying realities, too, and mark us with those experiences for as long as do any beatific ones.” (P-263) “At a certain point I felt I had less to lose, and more to gain by discontinuing psychedelic research.” (P-277). “I chose to disregard reports I had heard about contact with beings on DMT and was unprepared for dealing with their frequency in our work.” (P279). “As we have heard, all manner of manipulations took place; adjustments, implants, pleasant and fearful sexual or physical contact.” (P-321). “I had little interest in or knowledge about alien encounters. The results of the DMT study challenged my ignorance and require that I now include “contact” as another phenomenon mediated by extraordinarily high levels of DMT in the brain.” (P- 322). “Another explanation is less sanguine. That is, high doses of IV DMT thrust people into being-inhabited planes of reality because that is what it does. Give enough DMT to people, and this is what happens. Im reminded of Jeremiah, in chapter 13, “Contact through the Veil; 1,” when he was swept into the alien laboratory-nursery. He attempted to steer the intensity of the experience into a spiritual encounter buy “opening to love.” However, he immediately realized it was impossible to do so. Maybe contact through the veil is the real ultimate function of DMT, rather than initiating mystical awareness. If the sheer number of volunteers reports are any indication of the truth of this suggestion, we must consider it likely.” (P-323). “The most fruitful applications will emerge only if we can set aside the fear, ignorance, and stigma associated with psychedelics. We also must avoid the naïve and wishful thinking that mars the arguments of some advocates for their use.” (P329) “If you want to have fun, take them alone or with friends and spend the day in a beautiful setting. If you want to learn something about yourself and your relationships, take them with a therapist. If you want to feel part of humanity, take them at a concert, rave, or other larger gathering. If you want to experience a deeper relationship with the divine and its creations, take them with a religious teacher, community, or in Nature. If you want to contribute to the research endeavor, volunteer for a scientific study. These categories are somewhat arbitrary, and all sorts of effects might occur in any of these possible settings.” (P-332). “However, we are pressed far beyond our comfort zone as clinician-researchers when dealing with psychedelic subjects wo return telling tales of contact and interactions with seemingly autonomous nonmaterial entities. How then, then, do we study these “trans-dimensional” properties of DMT? We must begin by assuming that these types of experiences are “possibly real”. In other words, they may indicate “what it’s like” in 190

alternate realties.’’ (DMT- The Spirit Molecule, Rick Strassman, M.D. - (P- 341). Strassman has admitted that his research has led people to experience rape & other abuse. Then written a book encouraging psychedelic use. He should face criminal charges for malpractice. (I do not know if this has already happened?)

191

192

CHAPTER 7

Shamanism. “I have eaten the Sun so my tongue has burned of the taste.” (Alice in Chains). Beginning in the mid-1800s explorers to the amazon, Alex von Humbolt, from Germany & Richard Spruce from England, described the effects of mind-altering brew/snuffs made by the indigenous tribes. They reported these effects; “Out of body travel” & “Contact with disembodied entities.” In 1956 Hungarian Chemist & psychiatrist Stephen Szara, gave DMT to another physician, who reported; “The whole room is filled with spirits.” In the book ‘Awakening to the spirit world, The shamanic path to direct revelation’ by Sandara Ingerman & Hank Wesselman. They have sections encouraging practices such as; ‘Dismemberment’ & ‘Erasing personal history’, ‘Releasing your ‘story’, burning negative memories, erasing your past. They believe that your personal story only reinforces a false personality created by the ‘ego’. What they are actually encouraging is a state of submission, or inculcation to satanic influences. In native cultures people displaying schizophrenic symptoms, (hearing voices, strange dreams/ visions), are looked to as being potential future shamans. They are then trained to connect with spirit worlds & entities to help them. All shamans may be diagnosable as ‘schizophrenic’. In modern western culture schizophrenic behavior is feared, medicated & looked down upon. Schizophrenia as seen as an illness requiring suppressive treatment. When people complain of the kind of bizarre effects, I have described following psychedelic use, it is said to have ‘triggered’, ‘underlying’ or dormant conditions. Many have suggested my report sounded like schizophrenia. I have had no previous diagnoses of mental illness, (through I was restrained without my consent for 12 days in a Brazilian hospital, when I talked with psychiatrists about my sleep condition). Some doctors/psychiatrist & friends have suggested I am autistic. I have had a persistent low mood (depression) for most of my life. This has been a stable condition for many years. Many of my symptoms may overlap with those of schizophrenia, this is not the same condition, it is likely that many people with my condition have been miss-diagnosed as schizophrenic.

193

At the same time as schizophrenics in the west are medicated & hospitalized, shamans or “indigenous schizophrenics” are looked at as evidence for the safety of psychedelic use, it is said they have been used for 1000’s of years by ancient cultures. A look at the names given at the front of this book, shows that scientist believe these drugs can cause schizophrenia. To say that this condition was underlying or dormant in any individual, & the drug acted as a ‘trigger’, is a distortion of truth, a way of blaming the victim for these drugs ability to permanently alter brain function. Psychedelic therapy’s way of ‘re-framing’ the negative effects, to reduce the dissonance these events create for them, so they can continue their deceitful practices. Like someone knocking over a vase, then saying; “It was already like that when I broke it.” In other words, the unbroken vase was ‘suppressing its underlying broken condition, that has been ‘triggered’ by being knocked over. An example of ‘re-framing’ used to avoid responsibility, a disingenuous use of words obscuring the truth of the crime. That psychedelics ‘cause’ abusive & tortured visions, & can permanently alter brain function & dream content (in anyone). Many indigenous shamanic cultures practices are inhumane & satanic; Ordeal poisons, fasting, voodoo, animal sacrifice, drinking bones, child marriage, suppression of women, slavery, warfare etc. Shamanic cultures around the world believe in the existence of non-corporeal entities, that reality is suffused and haunted by spirits. Some entities are believed to be wise & benevolent, others, tricksters, cruel & vengeful. The reductionist, materialistic science of the west, disregards these views, yet has accepted the drugs (psychedelics), that invoke these entities/ forces that have evil/ satanic natures. From my own experience & writings from “The Tibetan book of the Dead”, these entities, benevolent & kind, or satanic and wrathful, appear to be the same, octopus like, shape shifting tricksters. Cultures have many names for these spirits; from Japan; ‘Kami’, or ‘Kappa’. Evil & mysterious things, if they are extraordinary and dreadful, are called Kami. (The Shaman, Jhon A. Grim). “They come to me in my dreams, and appear whenever I summon them while shamaning....When I am shamanaing, the “Ayami” and the assistant spirits are possessing me;’’ (The Shaman, Jhon A. Grim. (Page-9). “The many evil manitou are not located in the earth or sky regions, but in the cosmic waters, (multi-dimensional space, psychedelic realms), that separate flat earth from the earth below us. The principal malevolent force, personified as Michibissy 194

or Matchi-manitou, is a great underwater lion or feline being with horns and an encircling tale. Matchi-Manitou not assails the human order with disease, stories, and other intrusions, but also takes possession of certain shamans, who then claim this manitou as their patron spirit. Thus, the forces of evil are assigned a location in the cosmology as manitou.” (The shaman, Jhon A. Grim. (Page 78). It is important to emphasize that they are not referring to a ‘Pokémon’ like creature that can be captured, commanded, controlled or contained. (If they are referring to the same evil forces/ entity that has possessed/ afflicted me). “Nanabozho”, an Ojibway mythic figure; is highly ambiguous, characterized as a trickster, buffoon (clown), sexual aggressor, breaker of traditional patterns, and demonic originator of death.” (The Shaman, Jhon, A. Grim. (Page-85). Indigenous cultures, shamans afflicted with possession by abusive, satanic entities, would perhaps not have the awareness, or level of comprehension, for them to recognize these effects as ‘rape’, ‘abuse & torture’. They have been culturally conditioned to accept ‘spiritual’ phenomena as an ultimate unquestionable authority. They have not had access to modern medications that are allowing me to suppress REM sleep & reduce these obscene visions. Or access to alternative opinions/ the Internet, (& most could not read or write). Because of this, if they chose to resist or speak out about being raped by spirits, not only would they have lost all tribal respect, (because of the shame involved in this kind of abuse?), they would have been left no choice except suicide. This, perhaps explains why these events have been silenced/ suppressed by others within a tribal group, rejected as ‘certain individuals- ‘madness’ & forgotten. Even today, these kind of reports of permanent negative effects from psychedelics, (rape by spirits/ tortured visions etc), that I have described, are met with defensiveness, disbelief, accusations & blame on the individual, ‘set & setting’/ dose, family history, underlying condition, subconscious repressed trauma, PTSD etc. Instead of acknowledging/ recognizing that there are unseen autonomous entities/ forces that are capable of possessing & raping people. “Caribou Eskimo shaman acknowledge that suffering & solitude are something to be actively sought by a future shaman, not avoided. Although a ‘death’ crisis may fragment the shaman psychically and physically, and ‘dismemberment’ is fraught with potential chaos, it is by passing through that sacrificial state that the shaman achieves the power to heal.” This total crisis of the future shaman, sometimes leads to complete disintegration of the personality and to madness.” “The duties undertaken by the shaman are not easy; the struggle which has to carry on is dangerous. There exist traditions about shaman who were carried away still living from the earth to the sky, about others killed by spirits or struck down at their 195

first meeting with the powers they dared to call upon.” (The Shaman, Jhon A. Grim, (Page 204-205). It is a mistake to think that shamans, (indigenous schizophrenics), are in control of these personality destroying, madness invoking experiences. It is the spirits, or entities/ visions, that are inflicted upon them. The shaman is almost nothing; “The ultimate authorities are the spirits you work with, and they tell you what to do & what you can’t do.” (Michael Harner). When Plants Dream, Daniel Pinchbeck + Sophia Rokhlin, (Page 59). Perhaps they (shamans), loose their sense of values or self-respect, having gone mad from ‘dismemberment’ & other tortures, that they can no longer perceive the terrible/ abhorrent nature of these conditions (rape.). Something like cognitive dissonance, that makes them see this abuse as conformation of the spirit’s power. The shame of discussing these events, may also have prevented this information from becoming known. The practice of seeking out states of deprivation, suffering & ordeals is a kind of sadism. (That this behavior is respected & encouraged by the spirits, is also a sign of their sadistic/ evil natures). If ‘dismemberment’ is meant as becoming a ‘eunuch’, then ‘rape’ could be seen by them (shaman), as part of initiation or something to be accepted. WARNING-CONTAINS DISTURBING CONTENT From my research there is no consensus, (like many things psychedelic & spiritual), what ‘dismemberment’ is referring to.). I have had sickening dreams, where I have been turned into a eunuch, & left holding my severed piece. In the book “When Plants Dream”- Pinchbeck & Rokhlin, Ayahuasca, Amazonian Shamanism, & the Global psychedelic renaissance; They explain that; “Darker, malevolent & more ambiguous aspects of shamanic practice are often ignored by their advocates. Western culture has made the mistake of idealizing shamanic practitioners as spiritual leaders & gurus.” “Amazon shamanism- elemental magic, communicating with the spirit realm- shades subtly into occult invocation and supernatural attack.” (Page 86-87). “Shamanism is not a peaceful practice; shamans see themselves as enmeshed in a kind of cosmic battle between invisible beings and forces that manifest in our physical dimension in a myriad of ways. In ceremonies one may encounter negative entitiesbad or malevolent spirits.” “Amazonian ayahuaqueros make alliances with spirits who come into their bodies during visionary trance and work through them, (possession). 196

A metamorphosis into as animal insect or extraterrestrial/ otherworldly being.’’ (Page 62). “Some Shamanic cultures are known to have used psychedelics to energy visionary states, in order to shoot poison darts at their enemies on the astral plane, hoping to kill them.” (Page 22). Shaman testimony: The following quotes are from a talk by; Chief Shoefoot- Yanamamo Shaman. (I’ll never go back- Shamam Testimony, youtube. com). “There’s a lot of the teaching, training process and initiation that I cant share, there’s just no way that I could tell it. Everything that they did, and everything that happened.” “When you see these beings come, & the actually get inside your chest, then you are a shaman.” “If Omy-a-Wanakaba,” If these leaves started talking, the earth, the roots, the big trees start talking to you, don’t listen to them, because those are the bad ones, and they’re going to lead you astray. They will make you so you cannot talk” “And more and more spirits began to come to me, and more and more came. They began to come in such numbers that even became frightening to me. You could see them coming from far away. And they would come... almost as an avalanche, as huge rocks falling off cliffs, in such numbers their presence began to overwhelm me, & almost crushed me. Everywhere I went the spirits began to make themselves known, more & more spirits. I’m not saying there’s not Heckula (there’s not spirits), There are Heckulka. Its easy to go into bondage to them. There are spirits and they are deceivers. They love to deceive.” “There are many different classes of spirits. Some that live way up high in the rocks. Some that are the spirits of animals. Some that are just there. We just call them “kuavowa”. They’re hanging around everywhere. There are so many spirits that are just haters. They just hate everything.” “If you get one of those spirits, you’re going to hate everybody, and you’re going to go around and just kill children. Because you just hate everybody.” “As a shaman your supposed to heal people, but if you have one of these hater spirits, when everybody’s back is turned you will secretly be killing the children. These spirits are so dangerous, and I know what I’m talking about. I recognize them. They’re very 197

dangerous & they don’t want to be seen by people.” “I began to lose control of my mind; I couldn’t control the sessions any longer.” In this talk he goes on to recount his conversion to Christianity. I think he has been deceived again. From my experience & the research, the Christian God & these Demonic spirits from the same source. He has made the same mistake of idolizing a Christian God & system of belief, that is as false & deceitful as the wests idealizing of shamanism. Christianity is a ‘spiritual’ practice/ discipline. Though the book (Bible) itself, claims these ‘spiritual dimension’ are deceitful sources of information. “These demonic spirits will deceitfully masquerade as ancestors, dead heroes, ascended masters, gods, higher spirits, beings etc. Satan is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44). “Thus the structured prophetic schools emphasized the experience of Devine rapture, in which the “spirit of the Lord” took possession of the prophets, or ‘nabi’. “From the eighth to the sixth centuries before Christ, the structured prophets of Israel and Judah were often described as constrained by traditional techniques. The spontaneous prophetic figure is chosen from among a people to deliver a message from their God. These prophets are characterized by the immediacy of their contacts with the Devine word, and that contact often leads to agitated behavior and an unconstrained freedom of expression. The better-known prophetic figures of the Old Testament were spontaneous prophets.” “The numinous encounter with Yahweh is a major feature of the prophetic type. For the Hebrew prophet the revelatory word itself was symbolic of the personal creative deity who called him to his vocation.” (The Shaman. Jhon A. Grim (Page 182-183). A problem that many will find confusing is that these ‘demonic spirts’, or altered states of consciousness that they appear in, can be truthful & seem to be helpful. They constructed a storyline, an agenda for me to follow, they wanted me to avoid radiation, to protect my DNA, so that I would father children, apparently, I was to be the father of the next Jesus. Stamets reports a precognitive dream. (Psilocybin mushrooms of the World, Page 7). When I was in New Zealand, I had a message (in a dream), from a friend’s grandmother in the USA. She had been taken to hospital & almost passed away. I do not know my friend’s grandmother, & have never met her. From Facebook messenger conversation; Me; 198

“Hi Sunny, how are you? I had some strange dream about you and your grandmother last night, hope she is OK? I’m reading lots of books at the moment, have you read anything you would recommend?” - Lester. (March 8/2018. 4;38pm). Sunny; “Thats insane, my grandmother is in the hospital, she almost passed, but they were able to revive and save her.” (March 8/2018. 4:42pm). This is evidence of telepathy, or communication from a spirit. From this chapter it should be seen that ancient cultural & shamanic use of psychedelics is no proof of their safety. There is evidence of these practices being sadistic, abusive & dangerous. (I have not discussed the problem of people being raped by shamans, (psychedelic therapists), while under the influence of psychedelics, that is another reason to avoid these people & their practices).

199

200

CHAPTER 8

Religion. “God, who gave animals self-motion beyond our understanding is without doubt able to implant other principals of motion in bodies which we may understand as little”Issaac Newton, Biography – James Geick. (Page- 105). This chapter on religion, I have written, because, like shamanism, & depth psychology (Jung), religion has influenced how people perceive the psychedelic experience & the entities encountered. Many of the visions/ nightmares I have seen relate to religious deities & god. Though I had read many books about religion & practiced meditation for many years before I took mushrooms, I am not and have not been ‘religious.’ Religious beliefs, I think obscure & corrupt people’s perception of altered states, conditioning them into a false state of trustfulness of what is encountered. Religious groups have created a perception of god as something like a giant care bear, or Santa Clauss in the sky, a sacred, devine, holy & pure light being. Incapable of anything except love & kindness. “So long as men were in fact obliged to call the sun “most pure and most lucid,” no shadows or impurities whatever had been perceived in it; but now that it shows itself to us as partly impure and spotty; why should we not call it “spotted and not pure”? For names and attributes must be accommodated to the essence of things, and not the essence to the names, since things come first and names afterwards.” - Galileo, 1611. The sacred, divine, holy & pure nature of a creator is, (from my research and experience), completely false. I have seen a “white light from above”, in a dream/ vision, & a voice that said “Your better off dead.” This was at the same time as I was being abused & tortured be these very same visions/ nightmares that have been trying to make me end my life. (This deceitful, pure white light of transcendence, is symbolized by my Anglerfish painting. Few people have any understanding of the sickening, Satanic/ evil forces encountered in altered states of consciousness (or dreams), & their ability to change form, deceive, possess & control what you see/ experience. I have seen a man dressed in white, & one who looked like Jesus, holding a cross, who said to follow him. This was shortly before my visions became obscene.

201

In another dream, a beautiful woman was whispering intimately to me & then screamed demonically. Also, a very tall demonic queen woman, with sheep like horns, another female goddess with blue arched tattoo on her chest written in Arabic or Egyptian. (See picture; 11 October, 2019). I have also talked with a being who claimed to be “Babaji”, A Hindu Mahavatar, ‘Divine Incarnation’. All these things appear to be from the same source; A Cameleon/ Octopus, shape – shifting, Ditto-Pokémon- like entity, orb, alien or god that is constructing & projecting, directing these controlling dreams & nightmares. These are not waking delusions, visual distortions or bizarre beliefs & anxieties described as schizophrenia. Though I believe I would be diagnosed as such by most psychiatrists, because they do not have an alternative category of diagnoses for these symptoms. “As many as 60% of those with schizophrenia have religious grandiose delusions of believing they are a saint, god, the devil, a prophet, Jesus, or some other important person.” “Persons with psychotic symptoms may have had a considerable influence on the development of western civilization.” (The role of psychotic disorders in religious history considered. -Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences 2012: 24:410-426). I think dreams & psychedelic experiences, (god) creates these beliefs in certain people, as a means to control them by transference of trust/ fear & respect invoked by the appearance of famous people/ religious deities etc. Now that I know what can happen in people’s minds, that is beyond their control, & may be caused by the creator of all dreams, (I do not know if this condition could happen by other causes). The idea of having children has become immoral for me. Everyone has nightmares, their existence & source is not understood. The severity of their content, persistence & autonomous nature, have been ignored. Perhaps these kind of abusive nightmare visions are being used by this ‘god’ to control the human population. Mushrooms & psychedelics may be leading humanity into a trap. There needs to be further research into finding a more effective medication or method to block dreams. Religions, (like shamanism), encourages its practitioners to accept states of suffering, to re-frame them as blessings. If this principal is taken to extremes, then ‘rape’ & ‘torture’ become acceptable & encouraged by these groups. “This suffering is an expression of grace and love, because once people have come 202

out of the refining fire and accepted correction, they will shine with a tested and confirmed faith and a splendid character. Especially those whom God wishes to entrust with a special responsibility, or who are desirous of reaching the highest goal, will be most severely tested and most thoroughly refined.” (A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts. - �age 403). “Welcome to thy wrath and thy glow Our welcome be to thy flame! Let thy missiles burn our enemies, Be our purifier, be gracious to us!” (Hinduism. Yajur Veda- 36.20). “Every soul must taste of death, and we try you with evil and with good, for ordeal. And unto Us you will be returned.” (Islam. Qur-an- 21.25). “My son, do not despise the Lords discipline, or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Judaism and Christianity. Proverbs- 3.11-12). “I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith I the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Christianity. Galatians- 2.20). As the Bible explains, god has cursed humans; “Christ, the Beloved Son, correctly offers to God the credit for salvation. God then ordered Christ to cast Satan down to earth where he continues to seek to enslave humankind.” (Cf. Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi- 2.19-26). “What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience the vessels of wrath made for destruction, in order to make known the vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory, even us whom he has called?’’ (Christianity. Romans 9.14-24). This is sadism. Jesus has said to; “Love your enemies.” Perhaps the following line should have read; “All the better to deceive them with.” “Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” (Luke – 6:26-36 NIV). The scriptures of all religions testify to demonic beings and powers. Some regard 203

them as real and rival powers to God (dualism). At their head is a chief known by various names, Satan, Lucifer, Ibis, Mara and Angra Mainyu, among others. (World Scripture, a comparative anthology), page 309). “Buddhism traditionally identifies Mara with cravings and delusions, the nature of their own (evil) mind.” (CF. Dhammapada, 46 p.231). “The essence of mind or suchness is the real Buddha. While heretical views the three poisonous elements (greed, anger, delusion) are Mara. Enlightened by right views, we call forth the Buddha within us. When our nature is dominated by the three poisonous elements, we are said to be possessed by the Devil; But right views eliminate from our mind these poisonous elements. The Devil will be transformed into a real Budha.” (Buddhism, Sutra of Hui Neng 10). This is incorrect, & not what I am describing. It is not a case of anti-social behavior or miss-deeds, that I am attributing to demonic influences. It is a condition of something, (an entity, or unseen forces), afflicting my mind with insane, malevolent, intentionally constructed/ directed, sadistic, abusive visions/ nightmares. That have tried to control me & to kill me for speaking out about this abuse. Much of what has been written about the devil & possession by satanic forces or entities, has been obscured by religious ideology, academics, & psychiatrists/ therapists, that likely have no idea how truly sickening the reality of this condition can be. Psychedelics can break down the part of the mind that allows control of dreams (to lucid dream). Psychedelics may activate this condition by allowing entities access to the mind\ or activating parts of the mind. Causing a state of constant controlling visions, they may start as ordinary dreams, trying to guide you, then turn into tortured, abusive nightmares. Psychedelics are able to re-program the mind, with something that can continually monitor everything, then play back abusive/ insulting visions of rape & torture, creating a state of hell. Note; I have not read the Bible, or any other complete religious texts. I am not religious. I only know that something other than waking reality can take over & control the sleeping or meditating mind. This also effects people when awake, though to a lesser extent in my experience. This may be what people refer to as god. A being has spoken through me in a dream, saying “I am god”.

204

WARNING, CONTAINS DISTURBING CONTENT It is possible that all the people who have written religious texts throughout history, were deceived. The religious ideas of god, are only part of a controlling mechanism or program set in motion by magic mushrooms. Is God a Rapist? - www.patheos.com/blogsfreethoughtnow/is god a rapist/. “According to the Bible, God not only commands and condones rape. He actually commits it himself. God even tells his people that the rape was their own fault;” “And if you say I your heart, ‘Why have these things come upon me?’ It is for the greatness of your iniquity that your skirts are lifted up and you are violated.” (Jeremiah- 13;22, New Revised Standard Version). The word ‘violated’ means ‘raped’. “And I will dash them one against another, parents and children together, says the Lord. I will not have pity nor spare or have compassion when I destroy them.” (Jeremiah- 13;14). “This is your lot, the portion I have measured out to you, says the Lord, because you have forgotten me and trusted in lies. I myself will lift up your skirts over your face, and your shame will be seen.” (Jeremiah- 13;25-26). “Gods sexually abusive behavior is consistent with his character in the rest of the Bible.” Hindu. A total of 108 Upanishads are included in the Vedas, the main scripture for all Hindu religious & spiritual practices. 20 of these Upanishads are dedicated to the theory and practice of kundalini yoga. Even C.G Jung believed kundalini could be used as a method for his concept of ‘individuation’. ‘Kundalini’, may be an early example of ‘re-framing’ rape as a something spiritual. Eastern (Hindu), religions worship of snakes, snakes depicted around their deities & Gods, is I think, further evidence of their, (Gods & mystical experiences) deceitful & deadly nature. (www.brettlarkin.com)- This website describes a condition ‘kundalini syndrome’, or ‘kundalini psychoses. ‘They explain that the supposedly ‘healing energy’ that starts at the base of the spine, can cause people to complain of unpleasant symptoms; 205

- Negative emotions. - Spontaneous twitching & tremors. - A sensation of vibration. - Deregulation of body temperature. - Hallucinations - Mood swings. - And an over-all feeling of an unpleasant nature. “In severe cases, kundalini syndrome can cause you to part from reality. Making it hard to know the difference between what is real & what is not. Even for those with contemplative practice and grounded demeanor, the kundalini process can be tricky for the mind and body when it comes to healing.” (Quoted from the website.). This condition, as I have explained is actually ‘rape’, a possession by entities, that has mistakenly been ‘re-framed’ as a spiritual/healing experience. In the book; ‘Love & Spirit Medicine’ by Shonagh Home, she describes sexual (kundalini) energy persisting for a year after a journey on magic mushrooms. “Shortly thereafter, I was aware of energetic waves making their way from my genital area up through the centre of my body to my throat. It was very pleasurable and as each wave passed through my body, my stomach would contract inward and my torso would quake. A number of years ago I had a kundalini awakening in the Arizona desert, and for a year afterward, everytime I lay down to sleep, my body would quake for several minutes. At some point it simply stopped happening.” (Love & Spirit Medicine.-Shonagh Home. - page 36) In Shonaghs case the mushrooms ability to cause these effects is being used to, or experienced as healing. For others (myself) & people who do not do what the mushrooms or god demands, this energy can be used to rape & torture. ‘Kundalini’ is a deceitful term to describe this condition because it implies that these are only healing/ awakening/ spiritual energies. This is false, as can be seen from other reports & encounters. It is important to note that many of the dreams/ visions that were trying to guide me after taking mushroom were Christian & Buddhist, Christ, Yogis, Zen & Chinese religious symbolisms. (I had read many books about spirituality in the years before I took mushrooms & practiced meditation for many years, though I am not religious.). I think religious practices like prayer & meditation, (as with shamanism), are invoking symptoms of schizophrenia, by closing their eyes and talking to something they believe is there (prayer), or visualizing\(meditation). These practices are tuning into spaces, dimensions that are hallucinatory & deceitful. 206

The spiritual dimension/ psychedelics/ dreams etc, can be corrupt, deceitful, malevolent, sadistic, & dangerous. The entities encountered are capable of murder & it appears that god and satan are the same thing. People are mistaken in their use of these drugs as a tool for self-therapy.

207

208

CHAPTER 9

Tibetan Book of The Dead. “The Psychedelic Experience, a manual based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead.” This book, By Timothy Leory, Ralp Metzner & Richard Alpert, claims to be a guide for the use of psychedelics as a tool for spiritual enlightenment, ego-death & transcendence. Using the religious texts of ancient Tibet as a framework. The copy I have from 2007, makes no warning of the serous risks of permanent damage from psychedelic use. It contains several presumptuous & conflicting recommendations; They believed that all phenomena encountered in psychedelic states were nonexistent; “Nothing exists except as your consciousness gives it life” (Page 34). “There is no reality behind any of the phenomena.” (Encountered in psychedelic states). “None of the peaceful or wrathful visions, Blood-drinking demons, machines, monsters, or devils, Exist in reality, only within your own skull. This will dissipate your fear, remember it well.” ( Page 110). This is inaccurate. Things appear to be happening in your own mind, because this is where things are brought to conscious awareness, it is only their (the authors), opinion that they are merely a light show of mystical images. These scenes may be being sent through the mind from somewhere these apparitions actually exist in (another dimension.). It also contradicts a statement by C.G. Jung, quoted in the first part of their book;“Not only the “wrathful” but also the “peaceful” deities are conceived as sangsaric projections of human psyche, an idea that seems all too obvious to the enlightened European, because it reminds him of his own banal simplifications. But though the European can easily explain away these deities as projections, he would be quite incapable of posting them at the same time as real. The Bardo Thodol can do that, because, in certain of its most essential metaphysical premises, it has the enlightened as well as the unenlightened European at a disadvantage. The ever present, un spoken assumption of the Bardo Thodol is the anti-nominal character of all metaphysical assertions, and also the idea of qualitative difference of various levels of consciousness and of the metaphysical realities conditioned by them. 209

The background of this unusual book is not a niggardly European “either-or”, but a magnificently affirmative “both-and”. - C.G. Jung (Page 11). On page 110, the book offers instructions for “the wrathful visions”, some notes from this section demonstrate the falseness of their advice; “No harm will come to you from these hallucinations”, “If you do not recognize them torture & punishment will ensue.’’ “If through weakness you are attracted to action and thinking, you will have to wander amidst the world of game existence, and suffer pain.” (Page 111). They explain that because they believe all of these phenomena are only happening in the mind due to the psychedelic, they can not cause any physical harm. They ignore the fact that these traumatic scenes of hell & torture, that can include physical sensations of being ‘raped’, have permanent effects. They also make no mention of encountering aliens, though they list; “Demons, Goddesses, celestial warriors, giants, Angles, Bodhisattvas, dwarfs, crusaders, Elves, Leprechauns, devils, saints, sorcerers, infernal spirits, goblins, knights & emperors, The Lotus Lord, The Trickster, The shapeshifter, The tamer of monsters, The mother of gods – The Witch, The moon king & the wanderer.” “Your own creative intellect is the master magician of them all. Recognize the figures as aspects of yourself.” (Page 109). This belief; that these entities have no real autonomous existence, has been shown to be false, by my account & the experiences of many others. It is incorrect & naive to think you are the “master magician” of all these beings. On page 54, they describe “The Wrathful Visions”, as; “Thus, in the Tibetan Thodol, after seven peaceful deities, there come seven visions of wrathful deities, fifty-eight in number, male & female, “flame-enhaloed, wrathful, blood-drinking.” These Herukas as they are called, will not be described in detail, especially as westerners are liable to experience the wrathful deities in different forms. Instead of many-headed fierce mythological demons, they are more likely to be engulfed and ground by impersonal machinery, space-fiction horrors”. (Page 54). Then the following note is written on the page from Lama Govinda; “The peaceful forms of Dhyani-Buddhas represent the highest ideal of Buddhahood 210

in its completed, final static condition of ultimate attainment or perfection, seen retrospectively as it were, as a state of complete rest & harmony. The Herukas, on the other hand, which are described as “blood-drinking”, angry or “terrifying” deities, are merely the dynamic aspect of enlightenment, the process of becoming Buddha, of attaining illumination, as symbolized by the Buddhas struggle with the Hosts of Mara... The ecstatic figures, heroic and terrifying, express the act of breaking through towards the unthinkable, the intellectually “unattainable”. They represent the leap over the chasm, which yawns between an intellectual surface consciousness and the intuitive supra-personal depth-conciseness.” (Govinda, op. Cit., pp.198,202.) “The wrathful Deities are regarded as “only the peaceful Deities in changed aspect.” This interpretation, I suspect, reflects an academic ideal of the Buddhist principals applied to these phenomena, not a report of actual encounters/ experiences. As I have said elsewhere, that the encounter with satanic beings/ wrathful shapeshifting deities, is a sign that this entire psychedelic, (or meditative/ dream), dimension is not a reliable source information, or a safe place to be. These entities/ deities, morph into different beings, the experience itself, (what is felt), is also able to be constructed & entirely controlled by these same malevolent influences. Therefore, the belief that they (wrathful deities), have been ‘transcended’ and you are now ‘enlightened’, is only what they want you to believe about them. These psychedelic states can generate the illusion of control in the experience, like when lucid dreaming. There is still the fact of a constructed landscape, populated by autonomous entities. Your sense & perspective/ reactions are able to be changed/ controlled by something ‘other’, as easily as the visions seen/ presented. Including physical sensations throughout the body, that can be used to generate pleasure & to torture/ rape.

211

212

CHAPTER 10

Conclusion. My hope is that this book will prevent this condition from happening to others. Alternative states of consciousness & the entities encountered in psychedelic experiences cannot be trusted. Psychedelics have been mistakenly accepted as safe, because of the belief that shamans were being truthful about their initiations & experiences. Jungian psychologies misinterpretation of dreams as benign learning material, & religious traditions/ ideologies that have encouraged masochistic & sadist practices, leading to an obscured view of mystical phenomenon, re-framing abusive events as, spiritual teaching, healings & enlightenment. Psychedelics are not safe at any dose; ‘Spiritual’ & ‘Devine’/’Sacred are not synonymous. These substances can easily trick people into states of madness & suicide. The psychedelic visions & experiences people are reporting as ‘mystical’ & ‘enlightening’/ ‘transcendent’ etc, are a dangerous mirage. The range of effects these drugs cause has been under-estimated. They can permanently alter dream content, cause constant sibilance (insect like ringing in ears), & strange body vibrations, that may be pleasurable at first, & lead to ‘kundalini’, (rape), syndrome. Many people who have taken psychedelics may be unaware that these drugs are still affecting them, through changes to dream content. I am not an author or academic, I have no qualifications. I have written this book with information I could gather from the internet, books & my own experience. I felt it important to share this information as soon as possible. It is not a complete account of the negative effects of psychedelics, there are many untold stories from people who have been driven to their death by this ‘psychic’ abuse, or were unable to speak out because of the ‘fear’ created from being possessed by the entities inflicting these horrific visions. To compare the safety of psychedelics to other medications based on the frequency or percentage of negative effects, is misleading, because it does not take into account the severity, or nature of these negative effects, that often result in torturous, lifelong irreversible conditions. These conditions (schizophrenia, ‘spiritual emergencies’, psychosis, etc), are not well understood, & often misdiagnosed. Making it difficult to compare the risks of side effects to other measurable medical conditions/ medications/therapies. 213

As an example; If psychedelics trips/ sessions, were seen as Bunji jumping. Many people have exhilarating, life changing experiences & overcome fears etc. While (as for psychedelics), a consistent, (though unknown) percentage of people are falling to their death, or making it back with serious lifelong trauma or brain injuries. At what point should the ‘Bunji experience’ be closed? There is no way to control when a negative effect/ bad trip or permanent condition will occur. Therapist have popularized the idea that ‘certain individuals’ are at risk of negative events/ effects, this concept is false. The substances can cause these effects to anyone. The books promoting the use of these substances need to be removed from sale & publication. They are creating a dangerous & false sense of safety about dimensions/ worlds & beings that are capable of evil beyond human comprehension, (inhumane abuse & torture). A note on words used I the book; Several words overlap in meanings that may cause confusion because of the difference in their interpretation by readers, & the subjective nature of the experiences/ phenomena they describe; Some words have different meanings to different people; - Satanic, Demonic, Evil, Insane. - Entity, Alien, Deamon, Satan, God, Orb etc. - Dream, Nightmare, Vision, Hallucination, Trance, Possession. - Enlightenment, transcendence, awakening, ego-death, Nirvana etc. - Schizophrenia, psychosis, possessed. All the above words describe something effecting the mind. They are difficult to separate and define accurately. What I have tried to explain, is that there is something other than the ‘self’, (often described as encountering ‘the other’ by psychedelic users), that is not an ‘ego-self’, ‘shadow self’, or unresolved, suppressed, sub-conscious trauma or PTSD. They may be able to affect everyone, (if they take a psychedelic or not), Invisible forces may have the ability to control what you see in your mind (meditation/ visions, dreams). There is something that can possess, torture, rape & abuse people into states of psychosis. Psychedelics, it seems allow these entities direct access to people’s minds, or weaken the barrier between this world & another dimension. This inner window or door may also be opened by other means/ or conditions, including the practice of lucid dreaming/ meditation/ yoga/ fasting & prayer etc. 214

Much of the terminology used to describe psychedelic experiences are deceitful misconceptions, that mask what is really happening with a false sense of understanding. At what point does the ‘ego-death’ experience become 'schizoid psychosis', a personality disorder or actual death of the self? Experiences of ‘oneness’, ‘unity’, ‘transcendence’, ‘connectedness’, ‘cosmicconsciousness’ or ‘god’, may actually be a trans-species dominion over people. An insect/ god like aliens bio-weapon, capable of altering DNA & brain function, controlling people through an invisible web of frequencies. Jung & other pioneering researchers, (founders of modern psychology/ psychotherapy), who based their research on integrating dream content, have potentially been used by a corrupt/ demonic god, to create a false trust in these phenomena. Even if the collective-consciousness, entities, archetypes, ego-self, dream & psychedelic, multi-dimensional/ parallel universes, are really what they appear to be. It is presumptuous to assume they are benevolent & only work for people’s best interest. There is increasing evidence to conclude that the psychedelic experience & dream world are affected, (if not entirely controlled), by demonic forces & populated by entities that can possess, take over people’s minds, without the realization this is happening, they create a deceitful mirage of ‘Nirvana’, by using respected religious deities, famous people & scenes of seductive women, sex with fairys/ alien women etc, to entrance & control. These hypnotic visions, that pretended to guide & help me, suddenly turned into a psychotic abusive landscape of torture & rape, that tried to make me end my life. With medication, I have found these visions are subsiding. Treatments that have helped to stop these visions/nightmares include; - CBD oil, (Cannabis extract). + Cannabis (vaporizer). - Medications, - Prazosin, Fluoxetine, Zopiclone. “The more accursed, the nearer toward the God... And God is a monstrous creation. On my journey to the mysteries, I hear the carnivorous plant that laments times immemorial; I have the strange impression that I don’t belong to the human species, And I have obscure nightmares beneath the sick winds.” Clarice Lispector - (Agua Viva.)

215

Written books have only been part of culture in western countries for approximately 500 years. Industrial printing of books began around 1455, with the printing of the Gutenberg Bible. In 1508 Chepman & Myllar printed the first books in Scotland. The most popular book has been the Bible. That has been shown to be influenced/ created by something evil/ satanic, (the worship of torture). Some have suggested that this religion may have started as a mushroom cult & that language has its origins in religion/ mushrooms. Christianity & all religions could be seen as a kind of psychological parasite, that has influenced history & modern humanity. It is important to note that the initial dream symbolism & content was often Christianity themed. They tried to tell me I am Christ or I was to be the father of Christ, (This is a common theme of schizophrenics). I saw a bearded man dressed in white, also many Hare spirits, (a symbol of Christ). Many times, & I have seen what appeared to be Jesus, a man with a Sword. I tried my best to follow these dreams instructions, to avoid radiation & protect my DNA. I was deceived & led to a state of extremely disgusting abuse/ rape & tortured visions/ nightmares. Christmas should be cancelled forever. It is an insult to the millions of people who have been raped, tortured & murdered in the name of God. Mushrooms were introduced to the west in the 1950s by Wesson & later popularized by the Mckenna’s. Though they have been used by indigenous cultures for 1000s of years, this is no evidence of their safety. Ancient cultures were inhumane & many continue these practices. They have not had the ability to keep records or share information widely, of those who have suffered the negative effects leading to insanity & suicide, as I have described. That these visions use fear of an afterlife as further intimidation for speaking out, makes it likely these cases have not been reported. The shame of this condition may also have prevented tribal people from sharing this information.

216

CHAPTER 11

Photos & Artworks. P 210 : Unknown Artist P 211 - 212 : Jinger P 213 - 144 : Unknown Artist P 147 - 149 : Lester Harvey P 151 : Alien by K - Jones P 152 - 154 : Lisette Alcalde P 155 : P 156 : P 157 : Possession 789.1 P 158 - 160 : Flavio P 161 : Psychedelic Hell P 162 : Possession 790 P 163 : Possession 787 P 164 : fairy. P 165 - 166 : P 167 : P 168 - 173 : P 174 : Lester Harvey P 175 - 325 :

217

218

219

220

221

222

223

224

225

226

227

(Jung may have been possessed, or had shzophrenia.) 228

229

Artwork: Lisete Alcalde 230

Artwork: Lisete Alcalde 231

Artwork: Lisete Alcalde 232

233

234

235

236

237

238

239

240

241

242

243

244

245

246

247

248

249

250

251

252

253

254

255

256

257

258

259

260

261

262

263

264

265

266

267

268

269

270

271

272

273

274

275

276

277

278

279

280

281

282

283

284

285

286

287

288

289

290

291

292

293

294

295

296

297

298

299

300

301

302

303

304

305

306

307

308

309

310

311

312

313

314

315

316

317

318

319

320

321

322

323

324

325

326

327

328

329

330

331

332

333

334

CHAPTER 12

Music. Jinjer - YouTube comments. I have included some reactions to Jinjers music here, because of the violence in their music videos. These musicians may be effected by things they cannot see, as a result of psychedelic use. Their music may have unknown effects on people, & may be from another dimension, potentially causing extreme antisocial behavior/ hypnosis. The music video for the track; ‘Noah’, by Jinjer, shows someone turning into a reptile/ reptilian skin. The theme of ‘parasites & mutation’ is seen in several other psychedelic inspired musicians.

Pit Of Consciousness Lucas MSM (1 year ago) ““In my head, someone else, setting snares for my soul”. That line makes me cry.” Module79L (1 year ago) “Man, Eugene’s description of the meaning of this song... I too hope they can keep those doors shut and stay true to themselves.”

Wallflower Dark Thoughts (1 week ago) “Damn. You guys, this song… It’s almost too me IRL for me IRL. I never had such strong goosebumps hitting me when listening to any music before. Both the lyrics, the vocals as well as the instrumentals really touch me, all complemented by this beautiful video. And then that scream, like speaking out a hurtful truth, a reality that’s weirdly hard to accept. I suffer from depression & anxiety for decades now. I don’t go out unless I need groceries. I can’t even find joy in what once were the few hobbies that I had. I have no one in my life anymore, because while loneliness hits harder and harder, the alternative seems impossible too. Can’t seem to be able to live with, or without people, or at all...”

335

Julia Semenihina (1 week ago) Jari M Behm (1 week ago) “WOW! What a musicvideo! Very beautiful colors and contrasts! Director Bazil Pereverzev, I need to remember the name. ...oh yes, good song too :)” Romuald Dubois (1 week ago) “Definitely relate to this... next album speaks to my soul, a big thanks to all of you guys!” michelediane miller (1 week ago) “Makes me cry everytime.” Jim Senbonzakura (1 week ago) “This was amazing. I totally get the anger in Tatiana, feeding the evil wolf.” Alex UA (1 week ago) “Tati - Hold my red box, give me a machine gun! Two!” Lidija Suljkanović (6 days ago) “I’ve never in my life had such a connection to the lyrics/music/video of a song. The chemistry put in this masterpiece is just beyond my comprehension. And that roar at 3:11 went straight to my soul. Jinjer forever. <3” Gunnar Fehling (1 week ago) “Just now noticed the middle fingers at 3:50 :D Tomorrow’s going to be a good day.”

336

Jan Ser (1 day ago) “Holy goat this song is so deep and strong..” Rachael H (1 week ago) “3.10 Growl how I felt that in my soul” Ken Knight (1 week ago) “Will be used as evidence later” Adria Sun (6 days ago) “I don’t really know why, but every time I get to a certain part of this song, I feel like crying. This song touches me deeply.” AzizaX Blue (1 week ago) “As an introvert and a Pisces myself (like Tatiana) I have always been drawn deeply to her, this song is what I’ve been searching for my whole life and it just so happens to be from my all time favourite band, I’m beyond stoked for this album to drop, the musicianship and lyrics are on another level!!!” Jindra Dušek (5 days ago) “Does anyone hear TOOL in the beginning? :D Good work tho!” gilgamesh9x (1 week ago) “I feel like this song channels a large part of my soul”

Ashlee Fidow (2 days ago) “In New Zealand we are in a nation wide lockdown. Isolating once again. This came out at the right time!” Felipe Souza (15 hours ago) “This song really hits me hard! The lyrics are perfect and the musicality is beyond anything we’ve seen in heavy rock! It’s even hard to explain only by using words, you have to trully feel it. Thanks Jinjer, that’s why you guys are simply amazing and unique! And this album is spectacular!” K (1 week ago) “This track speaks to my very soul.”

337

Sleep of the Righteous (Jinjer) The rush of fear to even sleep With just a thread of hope I have What if I simply let it in Or clench my jaws and take the blow? As I lay I slowly fade away Into a place of inevitability And why is it happening to me? I’m full of life but I can’t breathe It appears from the darkness My body burns in its presence As I softly sink into the dream The door has opened, I can’t resist A candle placed upon a bedroom table The storm outside defies to stop The room grows colder in its presence I’m not your fire, let me burn! Let me burn! I see its shadow, the blackest black The widest grin from ear to ear I see its tail like a snake I feel two palms upon my back Visions spark before my eyes Like a forest flame I am ready to confess in every crime I never did And why is it happening to me? I’m full of life but I cannot breathe Scream and shout, don’t want to sound My body lost its structure I swear I’ll start to believe in god If he could give me rapture! The lifelong terror, half-time dream Eternal minutes feel surreal I plead my savior to release me The savior I call will What has just happened to me? I was dragged to hell, but now I’m free! Disturbia. (Rihanna) “Can’t even speak about it 338

Out my life, out my head Don’t want to think about it Feels like I’m going insane, yeah It’s a thief in the night to come and grab you (uh-huh) It can creep up inside you and consume you (uh-huh) A disease of the mind, it can control you (uh-huh) It’s too close for comfort, ohh I gotta get out Or figure this shh out It’s too close for comfort, oh-ohh It’s a thief in the night to come and grab you (uh-huh) It can creep up inside you and consume you (uh-huh) A disease of the mind, it can control you (uh-huh) I feel like a monster”

Tool (Band) There a song by the ‘Tool’ called ‘Vicarious’. The music video for this song portrays some kind of humanoid/ insect alien hybrid, in obscene mutation, from an insect parasite. I think this represents humanity being consumed/ possessed by insect/ alien parasites from the use of psychedelics. The track 46 & 2, may appears this effect as well. Obscene/ satanic/ alien (transe-human), themes are seen in many other Tool music videos. (Sober/ Schisim etc). Jumpcut Reviews (1 month ago) “Danny Carrey is the GOAT of Prog Drums. You should react to his Vic Firth video for the song “Pneuma” he did for the last album.” OneCanadian (1 month ago) “46 and 2 refers to chromosomes and the next step in evolution past our current 46. A lot of Carl Jung in the lyrics too (the shadow). Sober live might interest you for another reaction.” David Ludwig (1 month ago) “Tool is on a different plane than the rest. They were the first band I saw live in my teens, and that was during the lateralus tour. Love their music and love Maynard’s side bands too. Danny is the goat, but so is the rest of the band! Loved the video and the break down of the lyrics. Keep up the amazing work as usual! Would love to see your reaction to stinkfist, Prison Sex.”

339

Alice In Chains. ‘The Devil Put Dinosaurs here’. The music video for this song shows a child being tormented/ traumatized by a clown on television. The use of ‘imaginary’ characters as entertainment stimulates/ imprints children dreaming minds/ imagination/subconscious, contributing to psychosis. A common theme to many recent cartoons is ‘insanity’ This has been miss-labeled as ‘imaginative’ or ‘comic’. They are clownish & insane/ obscene, conditioning children to a psychedelic mindset. “In my world everyones a pony, & they all eat rainbows.” (K atie). “Thats beautiful Katie” (Horton). This is a quote from the popular childrens movie ‘Horton Hears a Who’. The line; ‘& they all eat rainbows’. Is very similar to Alice in Chains; “...I have eaten the Sun so my tongue has been burned of the taste”. There may be something like ‘Minion’ in my mind, (see animation trailer). I have seen tiny creatures, that look more like the alien creatures from Tool- vicarious. A kind of talking alien leaf insect entities. These appeared to be helping me in several dreams, (at first). I had never encountered them in my dreams before taking magic mushrooms. Minion - Dictionary Definition : Vocabulary.com https://www.vocabulary.com › dictionary › minion “A minion is nothing more than a yes-man, a nameless faceless servant. It is a negative term implying that your only importance is from the person who orders you ...” These may have been what others refer to as ‘Machine Elves’, (As all things in these spaces seem able to transform & appear as anything, they are ‘Minion’. The day I tried to live. (Soundgarden) “I woke the same As any other day except a voice was in my head It said, “Seize the day Pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the....” “Words you say 340

Never seem to live up to the ones inside your head The lives we make Never seem to ever get us anywhere but dead.” (Chris Corrnell). A Little Bitter (Alice in Chains) How the mind does shout for rest When the body is shaken, yeah Oh the tightness in my chest Still your leaves I’m raking Oh Lord, is this a test? Was it fun creating, yeah? My god’s a little sick And he wants me crazy Who Are you Who can say It’s ok to live through me? Live to be Part of me You’re a wrinkled magazine Yeah Was it something that I said? Was it how they’re breaking, yeah I’m so selfish, paying your rent While your blood I’m taking You Spend me Like a tree Dirty dollar bills for leaves Dark in a sea Of my seeds And the tears on which you feed You feed The body is a temple A dormant alter To where infantile men lie around Itching and nibbling For a small piece of sanity Of which you can not give god Individuality 341

Buying pennies with my soul And a little Heaven spent While the Hell I’m taking Thieves Parasites Hide from life You know they’ll remember me They are abhored In self-worth All that matters much to me, yeah Spirit-box, (Mara Effect) “I am never truly alone Acceptance is slipping in, gripping limbs Its crooked fingers intertwine” “The enemy hits me so low So the circles on the ground make me settle down Hurt me, give me something from nothing This is the lie that you come from” “My skin crawls, my chest heaves Punish me My skin crawls, my chest heaves Punish me It’s the effect of the Mara.”

342

CHAPTER 13

McKennas Encounter / Hyper-dimensional Pirates. In several dreams I have seen different kinds of cosmic space craft, I have been pursued by the entities on these craft. They have made threats to kill me. By abusive visions causing suicide. Once said, “I am going to kill you”, “Nobody escapes us”. Other dreams often featured the use of a hierarchy of dimensions, higher & lower realms & threats of eternal imprisonment/ torture or being turned into another creature/ entity, for disobeying their demands. The next report is from a talk by Terrance Mckenna (YouTube.com) Terence McKenna Encounters Hyper-Dimensional Pirates It appears to trick Terrance into acts nearly killing his wife. Perhaps they (mushrooms) were trying to discredit Mckenna, because he had been saying too much about their agenda. Kats report from her perspective of the trip, Is I think the mushrooms attempt to avoid responsibility for this experience. (They are malicious & deceitful). I have not read the book “True Hallucinations”. Terrance Mckenna; “We had one other experience that was pretty strange that’s told in true hallucinations. I tell it because I guess you should know this; Kat & I were in Hawaii one time in this little, way out on this lava flow. & We’d been taking mushrooms pretty steadily, like twice a week or so, & if you do that, if you really want your world to come apart; take mushrooms every four days for 20 days, & I guarantee you’ll be pleading for mercy at the end of it because things will have gotten so weird. So anyway, we were out on this lava flow, & we took mushrooms, & it was the 3rd trip, & I got into this, (we were inside), & I got into this dialogue with ‘the thing’ on the subject of, (I always, it’s part of every trip almost), is this; “I want you to do something, I want you to give me a sign in 3D”, and then we got into this wrangle about the propulsion system of the flying saucer, & I was saying; “You know, I want to see the ship.” And it was saying; “If we show you the ship, you’ll understand how it works.” And I’m saying; “Look, I’m the grower, don’t hold out on me”. And this thing was going back and forth, & about that time Kat tugged on my arm & said; “I feel very hot & I have to go outside”. So, it was a great effort for both of us to move outside, we could barely stand.

343

We got outside & she kept, she could not maintain consciousness, she kept, like fainting, which, I’d never seen this. I was very loaded, but it, I, it shouldn’t have been happening. Then I went through this thing, you know, who are you going to call ? The famous question; ‘who are you going to call?’, & realizing, there’s no-one on this island who knows anything about this except me, & I don’t know anything about it. & I’m trying to wake her up, “come out of it”, “come out of it”, & she can but she loses it again, & it slowly dawned on me, actually not so slowly, but like over about 5 seconds; that she was going to die, that I had finally done it, & I had pushed myself into this situation & this thing was going to happen. & I actually saw it like unfolding in my mind, I saw myself carrying her into the forest & sitting with her while she died. We had no ca, we had no telephone, we had nothing & then as I ran this movie again of me walking with her into the woods, I saw myself walking past the overflow trough from the rain catchment system, that gathers water, & I thought; I’ll put her in water. & I stood up to take he, & I was so smashed, it was just a sea of hallucination. & I was carrying this woman back through the darkness, & she is absolutely out. & We get back to the trough, & I lay her down on the ground & I pick up a bucket of water & just let her have it, & then another on, & then I realize that, I’ve figured out that she is going to live, & that this was the thing to do. & She is now talking to me, & saying; “do it”, “do more, it’s burning me”, make every part of my body cold & wet. & So maybe 30 seconds has elapsed, & now I’m down on the ground in the mud, embracing her. Shes hysterical, were both laughing & crying. & The forest edge is just about from me to you, right there, & suddenly from in the forest comes this sound; of the most crazed demonic laughter you can possibly imagine, I mean Hollywood eat your heart out, it was just absolutely appalling. & We just grabbed each other & ran for the house. & It was never explained what it was. But somehow, she had gotten more loaded, I think she had broken through to some place I have never been before on mushrooms, because after I brought her into the house, I still, I drew a bath, & she kept putting her into bath & taking her out, & she would go into these.... & I said; “What’s happening? What’s happening?” & She said; “Ferns are growing out of everything is putting off 3 dimensional hallucinations with eyes open. So, it was a case I think of just getting very, very deeply into it. What was happening for her, in those periods where I was trying to wake her up was; she could see hovering over the house itself, a structure made out of rods of light, in which these shovel faced Mantis like creatures were there & she said they felt like hyper dimensional pirates, they were not part of the mushroom, the mushroom she said, was appalled that we all had been , that we all had run across some roving bad guys, & the mushroom was saying, you know; “let’s all just hunker down here & be quiet for a few minutes, & these guys will go on”.” - Terence McKenna Encounters Hyper-Dimensional Pirates - YouTube 344

The next report is from another talk by Terrance Mckenna. I include these quotes here because the Mckennas have encouraged the use of magic mushrooms in USA. From popular books & many talks online. He (Terrance) has been a trusted source of information by many authors on the subject of psychedelics, magic mushrooms. YouTube; Terence McKenna - This is the Mushroom’s Program - The Psychedelic Salon #484 “From February 1991. 6months before Tim Berners-Lee published his summary of his world wide web project as alt. hypertext. The first website had yet to be built. So back in 1991 these talks especially these talks by Terrance Mckenna, were our best & in some cases our only scource of esoteric knowledge about such things as DMT”. (Intro/ unknown speaker; The Psychedelic Salon #484). Terrance Mckenna; “Ayahusca is driven by DMT.” DMT is just the most amazing thing in the universe, it shouldn’t exist , Its impossible, & every time i do it, I come down, I say , “this is impossible”. To call that a drug , what a joke, its not a drug, it just masquerades as a drug, thats preposterous. The problem with DMT is its incredible power, the archetype of DMT is the cosmiccircus. I think the major danger is death by astonishment. It somewhat freaks me out I have to confess, It is so alien. So huge, so complete in itself, so unrelated to our petty concerns. Because you just get in there & you say; “My god, I thought I had some expectation of what was possible & instead; This is just so blown that & it somewhat freaks me out , I have to confess it is so alien; so huge so complex in itself, so unrelated to our petty concerns on this planet. I went to it first as an art historian and I was Jungian, I had Jungian proclivities. And I thought, well what does this say about the archetypes, there is no archetype for this, not in the painting of the bushmen , not in the ecstasy of Hildegard of Bingen, not in the ravings of Mandian ecstasies.. Human experience never got this deep. Never tore open this doorway. And yet, what, its a long toke away for an ordinary human being. How could something that Titanic and beautiful & alien be kept secret when what we do is we seek in all corners in all times & places, for the bizarre, the Ältere, the unthinkable. Were always turning over rocks, secret teachings. You know, ancient cities, buried ruins, lost tribes, you name it. Well then, here is this thing which is like; 345

The absolute quintesent of what all those things are aiming for. More stunning than the rise of Atlantis from the Atlantic sea board is a toke of DMT. More appalling than the arrival of alien star flights in the arrival of skies over our planet. And yet; Its Here, Its here. & I don’t often invoke it, I mean for me to talk about it is to invoke it . Because its its weird to talk about it because it reminds me that we don’t know what we are doing at all. That we sit in rooms discussing all this stuff, & war rages, ignorant armies clash by night, that whole thing, but, you know, this extraordinarily powerful thing, the depth of, the measure of which is so hard to take, lies very near. What I had hoped for from Ayahusca, was, when we got into this DMT stuff, we said; “we’ve got to slow down this movie.” I mean you get in there for about 70 seconds, the first 35 of witch is taken up with you checking all your meters to make sure your not dead, because thats what you assume, you say; i did it, I’m dead, F-it, I’m dead. ...apparently I’m not dead. Apparently I’m something else. Well then, by the time you sort it out your usually coming down. & People come down babbling, raving, I mean I’ve seen people who’ve headed mega corporations, people who are accustomed to ordering hundreds of people around, just completely, ah.. come apart, because it is so unexpected. (10: 20). Terence McKenna - This is the Mushroom’s Program - The Psychedelic Salon #484) He has said that; “Human experience never got this deep.” I think this is untrue, people have used psychedelics in high does for thousands of years. What has changed is the psychedelic dimensions/presentation/ the information encountered. It has an agenda, is deceitful & controlling. Originally as human/ animal hybrids seen in cave art, 1000s of years later, deities, convincing people of heaven and hell, as a threat of eternal conditions & rebirth. These threats are used to control people by intimidation. Now, that many people do not believe in religion, it presents as an alien, etc. “The number of ways these things present is practically infinite“. - Terrance Mckenna (YouTube, The weirdest tales compilation). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn9cSBCQ5BA 346

CHAPTER 14

St Nick The story of Santa Claus/ St Nick, & practice of Christmas, may seem harmless. It is not. Christmas is creating a dangerous trust of a magical/ mysterious stranger that visits in the night leaving gifts for children. Santa is said to work with Elves. Elves may in fact be real autonomous entities or (aliens). They are not what people have imagined them to be, & are capable of ‘psychic abuse’, inflicting people with the symptoms I have described. Creating trust of a stranger visiting in the night with presents for children, is another dangerous & inappropriate idea. Fairy tales & other children’s stories are also creating a distorted view of, alternate dimensions/ dreams, seeing them as only ‘imaginary’. This is false. Entertaining children with imaginative stories, of bizarre talking non-human characters, has effects on what they dream. Reinforcing a view of ‘mystical/ imaginary’ phenomena as harmless entertainment. Potentially encouraging schizophrenia. Though my parents are not Christian, the tradition of ‘Christmas’ was practiced. There is a naive belief that people can share presents at this time, without them being affected by any religious ideas. Christian beliefs are subconsciously accepted as benevolent by the sharing of gifts, special food & celebration. Christianity is a practice/ system of belief that is indefensibly corrupt/ deceitful & satanic. It is immoral to encourage children to accept these presents. The following quote is from ‘Tomorrows World’, magazine. (P.13) August 2021. “Do you find it difficult to get along with others – your co-workers, your employees, or your boss? God shows how to handle such situations; Servants be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully.... when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God” (1 Peter 2:20). This is another example of the sadistic nature of god from the bible. At the center of most industrial civilizations/ cities, is a church. Industrial civilization has been built by unhappy employees. People suffering in their work. Following the principals of this 347

bible quote. Abuse should not be tolerated. In the name of love, religion or employment etc. Abuse is unacceptable.

348

CHAPTER 15

Psychedelic beliefs\ theories.

349

350

351

352

353

354

355

356

357

358

359

360

361

362

363

364

365

366

367

368

369

370

371

372

373

374

375

376

377

378

379

380

381

382

383

384

385

386

387

388

389

390

391

392

393

394

395

396

397

398

399

400

401

402

403

404

405

406

407

408

409

410

411

412

413

414

415

416

417

418

419

420

421

422

423

424

425

426

427

428

429

430

431

432

433

434

435

436

437

438

439

440

441

442

443

444

445

446

447

448

449

450

451

452

453

Psychiatric confusion. This quote is taken from YouTube Talk; “Psychosis or spiritual awakening; Phil Borgess TEDx UMKC. Phil Borges, filmmaker and photographer, has been documenting indigenous and tribal cultures for over 25 years. His work is exhibited in museums and galleries worldwide and his documentary film CRAZYWISE explores what can be learned from individuals who have turned their psychological crisis into a positive transformative experience. “...Shamanism in different cultures induce their trance in different ways, Shamanism is a universal practice, it’s the world’s oldest spiritual practice, and there’s a lot of common denominators, but the way they go into trance can differ. In Mongolia they beat a drum next to their ear, in South America they take psychoactive plants, like Ayahuasca. In Pakistan, they did something that was quite unique. They burn Juniper branches, they slaughter an animal, poor the blood over the burning branches, & then the Shaman inhales the smoke to go into trance. & So here I’m trying to talk him out of doing the ceremony for me because I don’t want him to kill one of his animals. He said; “No, I have to do it. My spirits are telling me I have to do it.” “You’ve come so far.” So; The next morning his sons started burning the juniper branch (branches), & he started praying to the mountain spirits, the spirits of the forest, & they slaughtered the animal, & he started inhaling the smoke & then he went into trance & he stayed in the trance for about 5 or 10 minutes. & When he came out, he was very silent, he hardly said anything. & He was very talkative before he went into trance & I thought well this is kind of strange. & I asked one of his sons, who was the interpreter; “What happened to him? What did he say? Did he see anything? & The son just said; “You know, the only thing he said is;” “Your journey is going to be extremely difficult, but you’re going to be safe.” & that’s all he said. So, the next day my son & I took off, we left his camp & walked down the mountain & headed up further into the Hindu Kush mountains. & We were out in the middle of nowhere, we had a jeep & my son started getting sick. He evidently picked up a bug in the water around (Jhon D----) the shaman’s camp. & 1st day went by, couldn’t keep anything down, 2nd day, 3rd day, 4th day, couldn’t keep anything down for 4 days, & he was getting so weak he could hardly walk. & I was totally freaked out. 454

We pulled into this little village & we happened to run into a Dr. From Islamabad, who was visiting his mother, & he happened to have a bag of glucose & saline & an IV drip & some oral hydration salts. & We brought Dax (his son) around. & to me it was like a miracle the whole thing happened. So, I’ll tell you a little bit about the shaman; 1st of all these are the common things of shamanism. Its not always true, but in general. They typically are identified with what they call; “the call”. “The call”, In the ones I interviewed, almost all of them, it was a psychological crisis. Secondly, they almost always have a mentor, somebody who has been through it & come out the other end of this psychological crisis, & can show them the ropes, & tell them & comfort them along the way. & Then they have to face what they call ‘the initiation’. & it’s almost always this death of their old self & a re-birth of a new self. & This re-birth, I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like they take much more of an elevated consciousness, their awareness of who they are expand, they expand their circle of compassion & as such they learn to go into the spirit world, where they believe the spirit world informs our world of reality. So, they go there get the information & come back to help people. & Then after thinking they’ve learned their trade, they begin their life of service either a healer, a seer, a priest & they typically do this for no money. In the beginning many of them resists it because it is a lot of extra work. So, I put that whole project aside, because I didn’t know what to say about it. I felt I was getting in over my head. Into this world of consciousness & spirits & all this. But, a year and a half ago I met a young kid who had one of these psychological breaks; Adam; “It was just this total shattering, & my mind just opened, & I started thinking all these different things, & in that sense it was beautiful, it was the first time I ever experienced a real connection to the universe, or I really felt like a part of this. That I was this, that this was me, it was just, incredible, just absolutely amazing. & Then I kept going & then I went way to far, & then it got scary. It was just kind of like a panic, I don’t know, put some medication in this kid & just hope for the best. I don’t know If it hurt or helped. It was at the point where I was being diagnosed, I think, for side effects of medications. There was a point where I was taking 15 pills in a day. I felt like a lab-rat. & The side effects were just awful absolutely awful anxiety attacks. The thought of interacting with people would make me sick to my stomach. It was just so, so much, & I still don’t know, I don’t know what was a side effect & what was my mind. So, Adam was on drugs, on pharmaceuticals for about 4 years. & He was having such a hard time that he decided to stop the medication & did a Vipassana meditation retreat, they come in many forms, this one was 10 days silent meditation, 10 hours a day. It’s very rigorous. I did one just to see what it was about & it was one of the hardest things I did & he was able to stabilize himself. 455

He started having what he called “synchronicities” where he would have a thought & the thing would happen. & By the way he’s very psychic, he has very strong healing potential. But he has no confidence in what’s happening to him. There’s no-one that’s able to conceptualize it for him. He had these & he decided he needed to go back & do another Vipassana. Well, they learned that he had this history of mental illness, & they sent him home. So, the one avenue that he could have gotten relief from, cut him off because of the stigma of his mental illness. So, Adam isn’t alone in this, in having Bi-polar, Schizophrenia, any of these heavy psychological episodes. Here’s some statistics, from the national institute of mental health; 1 in 5 of us will suffer a psychological crisis in our lifetime. (That’s a rising figure now). 1 in 20 will become disabled because of it Another interesting fact about this phenomenon is 50% happens before the age of 14. With most of the shaman this happened in either their adolescence or their teenage years, 75% before the age of 24. So, it’s more or less a phenomenon of young people. Here’s the difference in cultures that I noticed. The shaman’s advantage; #1, they have a cultural context. The psychological crises, although it’s difficult, they put it in a positive light. It’s something the person is going to come out of, & be stronger in the end. The other thing that’s a big advantage, is it’s not stigmatized. I mean if you have the stamp of mental illness, you’re not going to get a job. It’s one of the most stigmatized things that can happen to a person in our culture. Especially if some kid having these visions, & he is not knowing what is happening to him, & the doctor says “you’re broken & you are this”. You can imagine how that adds to the problem. So, the other thing they have an advantage of, they have a mentor, somebody that’s been through this process, that can hold their hand & say “listen, I know what this is all about, & this is how you manage it. & The third thing, they have a community that buys into what they’ve gone through & not only that, they have an outlet for their talent & many of these people have specific talents that the normal person doesn’t have. So, that’s what’s an advantage if you’re in one of these indigenous communities. There is a recent Ted talk by a woman named Elinor Longden. This is a young woman, who when she went to college, she started hearing voices, & she said; my nightmare began when I told my roommate I was hearing voices. The roommate said; you better see a doctor, so she went & saw the doctor. The doctor said; 456

“You better see a psychiatrist”. The psychiatrist gave her the label “schizophrenia”, & put her on medications. These medications suppress the symptoms, they don’t get at the root of the problem. & She said; from that point on she just spiraled down. You ought to listen to her video on how she brought herself out of that, & she eventually got to the point where she said; “I realized that those voices were helping me resolve a childhood trauma of sexual molestation.” But it took her & a couple of friends that believed in her to get her out of that (depression) caused by that stigma. So, if you do have one of these symptoms the common method of treatment is to suppress symptoms with pharmaceuticals. So, with Adam, we’d been following him, I’ve been posting this on our blog over the last year & a half, how he’s doing, what’s going on, buy the way, he’s homeless now, like so many end up. & Weve started interviewing professionals that take a whole different approach to this problem & in fact some of the psychiatrists the psychologists we’ve interviewed (were posting them as well), like to label many of these instances as spiritual emergencies & they believe just like I do now, if you don’t stigmatize, if you don’t scare them with a label & tell them they are broken, & if you give them a place of support, that the psyche is self-healing. It will take them, & it will eventually work out whatever is going on with them & they’ll typically come out at aq higher level of awareness & consciousness, then they went into the problem in the first place. There are many people that believe, that weave interviewed, cultural historian, cultural anthropologists, that believe tat our species right now is in crisis. You look at the environment, you look at the economic system, you look at what’s happening with our continual wars, & were being asked to raise our consciousness to a whole different level. So, I just want to end with this statement from one of our most famous scientists; “We human beings, tend experience ourselves as something separate from the whole we call the universe. This is actually an optical delusion of our consciousness. It’s like a prison for us. Our task is to free ourselves from this prison. By increasing compassion to embrace all living creatures, & the whole of nature in its beauty. This striving for such an achievement is a path to our liberation, & our only true foundation of our inner peace & security.” (Einstein). From, YouTube talk; (“Psychosis or spiritual awakening; Phil Borgess TEDx UMKC.) 4, 981, 397views.) The next quote is taken from Ellenor Longden’s YouTube talk; “The voice she herd was neither “sinister or disturbing”. The voices grew progressively hostile & menacing she retreated into a nightmarish inner world. She was being per457

secuted by them; They told her; “If she proved herself worthy of their help then they could change her life back to how it had been.” A series of increasingly bizarre tasks were set, a kind of labor of Hercules... ...gradually growing more extreme, culminating in demands to harm myself & a particularly dramatic instruction...” She felt powerless & incapable of establishing a kind of peace or reconciliation. 2 years later & the deterioration was dramatic. By now I had the whole frenzied; Terrifying voices, grotesque visions, bizarre intractable delusions. My mental health status had been a catalyst for discrimination verbal abuse & physical & sexual assault. WARNING CONTAINS DISTURBING CONTENT I had been told by my psychiatrist; “Ellenor, you’d be better off with cancer, because cancer is easier to cure than schizophrenia”. I’d been diagnosed, drugged, & discarded. & Was now so tormented by the voices that I attempted to drill a hole in my head, in order to get them out. Now looking back on the wreckage & despair of those years, it seems to me now as if someone died in that place. & Yet someone else was saved. A broken & haunted person began that journey, but the person who emerged was a survivor & would ultimately grow into the person I was destined to be. 40 minutes is not enough time to fully credit those good & generous people who fought with me & for me & who waited to welcome me back from that agonized lonely place. But together they formed a band of courage, creativity, integrity, & an unshakable belief that my shattered self could become healed & whole. I used to say that these people saved me but what I now know is that they did something even more important, in that they empowered me to save myself. & Crucially they helped me to understand something that I had always suspected. That my voices were a meaningful response to traumatic life events, particularly childhood events, & as such, were not my enemies, but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems. Now at first this was very difficult to believe not least because the voices appeared so hostile & menacing. So, in this respect a vital 1st step was learning to separate out metaphysical meaning from what I previously interpreted to be a literal truth. 458

So, for example, voices which threatened to attack my home, I learned to intemperate as my own sense of fear& insecurity in the world, rather than an actual objective danger. A later response & much more useful would be to try & deconstruct the message behind the words, so when the voices warned not to leave the house, then I would thank them for drawing my attention to how unsafe I felt. If I was aware of it then I could do something positive about it, but go on to reassure both them & myself that we were safe & didn’t need to feel frightened anymore. I would set boundaries for the voices, & try to interact with them in a way that was assertive yet respectful. Establishing a slow process of communication & collaboration, in which we could learn to work together & support one another. Throughout all of this, what I would ultimately realize was that each voice closely related to aspects of myself & that each of them carried overwhelming emotions that I’d never had an opportunity to process or resolve. Memories of sexual trauma & abuse, of anger, shame, guilt, low self-worth, the voices took the place of this pain & gave words to it. It was armed with this knowledge that ultimately, I would gather together my shattered self, each fragment represented by a different voice. I gradually withdrew from all my medication, & returned to psy-chiatry. Only this time from the other side. 10 years after the voice first came, I finally graduated, this time with the highest degree in psychology the university had ever given, & one year later the highest masters. (Which I always say isn’t bad for a mad-woman.). In fact, one of the voices actually dictated the answers to an exam, which technically possibly counts as cheating. & To be honest, sometimes I quite enjoyed their attention as well. ...It also makes you very good at eves dropping; because you can listen to two conversations simultaneously. So, it’s not all bad I worked in mental health services. I conferences, I published book chapters & academic articles. & I argued & continue to do so, the relevance of the following concept; That an important question in psychiatry shouldn’t be; ‘What’s wrong with you?’ But rather “What’s happened to you?” & All the while I listened to my voices, with whom Id finally learned to live with peace & respect. & Which in turn reflected a growing sense of compassion, acceptance & respect towards myself. I remember the most moving & extraordinary moment, when supporting another young woman who was terrorized by her voices. & Becoming fully aware for the first time that I no longer felt that way myself, but was finally able to help someone else, who was. I’m now very proud to be part of ‘inter-voice”, the body of international hearing voices movement. Initiative inspired by the work of professor Marius Romme & Dr Sandra Escher. Which equates voice hearing as a survival strategy. A sane reaction to insane 459

circumstances. Not as an aberrant symptom of schizophrenia to be endured, but a complex significant & meaningful experience to be explored. Together we envisage a society that understands voice hearing, supports the needs of individuals who hear voices, & which values them as full citizens. This type of society is not only possible its already on its way...” In the last 20years the hearing voices movement has established hearing voices networks in 26 countries across 5 continents. Working together to promote dignity, solidarity, & empowerment, for individuals in mental distress, to create a new language, & practice of hope. Which at its very center lies an unshakable belief in the power of the individual...” “What lies within us can never be truly colonized contorted, or taken away. The light never goes out...” (Ellenor Longden). I have included these reports of people hearing voices, to show how others have interpreted this interference. At first Ellenor explains that these voices were apparently trying to kill her, (as she attempted suicide/ had gone insane). Later after taking much medication, the voices are no longer trying to kill her. (Perhaps because she has been sterilized through DNA damage from medication?). I suspect (God) uses Schizophrenia to control & edit out unwanted DNA. I feel this is what they have done to me, because I would not cooperate with their demands to have children. She claims that these voices are symbolic of repressed/ forgotten trauma, & later believes that they were actually trying to help her. This is clearly untrue. These voices have (like many other cases of schizophrenia) attempted murder, by creating; “Terrifying voices, grotesque visions, bizarre intractable delusions”. (Ellenor Longden). It may also be that entities/ God/ aliens, (the source of these voices), deliberately targets victims of abuse to make it look like it is the victim’s own fault for hearing voices. (A deception to disguise the true source of this interference). Ellenor later suggests, that the voices & imagery are metaphorical & symbolic of trauma. That they were actually trying to help her. This is untrue. Because; a; these phenomena are able to convey information that is true, complex & accurate. Of future & past events. (They can communicate information without being symbolic/ metaphorical). B; It is sentient. Therefore, to communicate with unrelated abusive content that leads a person into a state of suicidal madness, is a deliberate act. (Attempted murder). Note; That I have no history of sexual abuse. I had spoken with councilors on a week460

ly basis in primary school & occasionally in high school because of a strange lack of interaction with other students. There were no other symptoms of mental illness, & this behavior was attributed to Autism. The following is my take on Einstein’s quote; “A conciseness not able to separate itself from corrupt & satanic forces of nature (God). Is in a prison of impulsive animalistic forces. The ability to separate yourself & create a personality & ego separate from nature is a path to our liberation & our only true foundation of inner peace & security”. The Monster (Rihanna, Eminem) I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Get along with the voices inside of my head You’re tryin’ to save me, stop holding your breath And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy I wanted the fame but not the cover of Newsweek Oh well, guess beggars can’t be choosey Wanted to receive attention for my music Wanted to be left alone in public, excuse me For wantin’ my cake, and eat it too, and wantin’ it both ways Fame made me a balloon ‘cause my ego inflated When I blew, see, but it was confusing ‘Cause all I wanted to do’s be the Bruce Lee of loose leaf Abused ink, used it as a tool when I blew steam Ooh! Hit the lottery, ooh-wee! But with what I gave up to get it was bittersweet It was like winnin’ a used mink Ironic ‘cause I think I’m gettin’ so huge I need a shrink I’m beginnin’ to lose sleep, one sheep, two sheep Going coo-coo and kooky as Kool Keith But I’m actually weirder than you think, ‘cause I’m I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Get along with the voices inside of my head You’re tryin’ to save me, stop holdin’ your breath And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy Well, that’s nothin’ (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Well, that’s nothin’ (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) 461

Now, I ain’t much of a poet But I know somebody once told me to seize the moment And don’t squander it ‘Cause you never know when it all could be over tomorrow So I keep conjurin’ Sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from Yeah, ponderin’ will do you wonders No wonder you’re losing your mind, the way it wanders Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo! I think it went wanderin’ off down yonder And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen ‘Cause I need an interventionist To intervene between me and this monster And save me from myself and all this conflict ‘Cause the very thing that I love’s killing me And I can’t conquer it My OCD is conkin’ me in the head, keep knockin’ Nobody’s home, I’m sleepwalkin’ I’m just relayin’ what the voice in my head’s sayin’ Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just friends with the I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Get along with the voices inside of my head You’re tryin’ to save me, stop holdin’ your breath And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy Well, that’s nothin’ (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Well, that’s nothin’ (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Call me crazy, but I have this vision One day that I’ll walk amongst you a regular civilian But until then, drums get killed and I’m comin’ straight at MC’s, blood gets spilled and I’ll take it back to the days that I’d get on a Dre track Give every kid who got played that pumped-up feelin’ And shit to say back to the kids who played him I ain’t here to save the fuckin’ children But if one kid out of a hundred million Who are going through a struggle feels it And relates, that’s great, it’s payback, Russell Wilson Falling way back in the draft Turn nothin’ into somethin’, still can Make that, straw into gold, chump, I will spin 462

Rumpelstiltskin in a haystack Maybe I need a straight jacket, face facts I am nuts for real, but I’m okay with that It’s nothin’, I’m still friends with the I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Get along with the voices inside of my head You’re tryin’ to save me, stop holdin’ your breath And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed Get along with the voices inside of my head You’re tryin’ to save me, stop holdin’ your breath And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy Well, that’s nothin’ (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Well, that’s nothin’ (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) The Thing That Should Not Be (Metallica) Messenger of fear in sight Dark deception kills the light Hybrid children watch the sea Pray for father, roaming free Fearless wretch Insanity He watches Lurking beneath the sea Great old one Forbidden site He searches Hunter of the shadows is rising Immortal In madness you dwell Crawling chaos, underground Cult has summoned, twisted sound Out from ruins once possessed Fallen city, living death Fearless wretch Insanity He watches Lurking beneath the sea 463

Timeless sleep Has been upset He awakens Hunter of the shadows is rising Immortal In madness you dwell In madness you dwell Not dead which eternal lie Stranger eons death may die Drain you of your sanity Face the thing that should not be Fearless wretch Insanity He watches Lurking beneath the sea Great old one Forbidden site He searches Hunter of the shadows is rising Immortal In madness you dwell.

464

Afterward. “Dreams have never been the answer” - Chris Cornell. What I have written may seem confusing, I am trying to make sense of an insane situation, something that I was not aware could happen to people. I have not described in detail the abusive visions/ nightmares. They were not recorded in my journals because I did not want to describe or remember them. Many of my visions have been worse than the experiences of others described in this book; (Rape, torture, graphic violence, disgusting/obscene.). The latest “Tool” band CD release, ‘Fear Inoculum’ who’s title suggests a spore syringe used in the ‘inoculation’ to grow magic mushrooms. Features artwork by Alex grey, ment to convey an MDMA trip. Paintings depict a man being, that appears to be being tortured and turned into an insect human hybrid. Several other of Alexs psychedelic paintings are concerning; depicting scenes of people on fire, ‘Glimpsing the Imperion’ & ‘Prostration’. The painting; ‘Cosmic Christ’ shows the world on fire, covered in crucified people, engulfed in a burning God like entity with Satanic devil horns). Maynard J Keenan, the vocalist from Tool band, often preforms as a transexual, satanic clown, similar to entities encountered on psychedelics. Also see; ‘Bee man”, cave painting, from caves in France. (Lascaux). This figure may have been painted to symbolize the insect/alien, possessive/ infection like nature of magic mushrooms. It should concern people that psychedelics cause hallucinations & felt experiences of turning into insects. The Insect world is inhumane, & often brutally parasitic. Many people report ‘insect’ like humming; “Approximately 50 percent of the subjects under the influence of ayahuasca (B. Caapi) commonly experience an extremely loud buzzing sound emanating from the interior of the skull during the course of the experience. Individual reports of the subjectively perceived phenomenon exhibit a high degree of similarity.” (The Invisible Landscape’ Terrance Mckenna, Page 95-98). “The first thing I noticed was a burning in the back of my neck. Then there was this loud intense hum. It was like the fan at first, but separate. It began engulfing me. I let go into it and then...WHAM! I felt like I was in an alien laboratory, in a hospital bed like this, but it was over there. A sort of landing bay, or recovery area. There were beings.” (DMT- The Spirit Molecule, Rick Strassmann, Page 196).

465

I have constant sibilance, that varies in frequency & pitch, alternating between left & right ears, since taking 10grams of mushrooms 4 years ago. I have seen giant insect like Gods in visions. Artwork for the CD, ‘Pucifer’ (also by musician Maynard James Keenan- “TOOL”), depicts a satanic Queen bee, alien entity. I used this in my painting; 'Possession'. Why there are so many encounters with insect entities & reptiles? I cannot explain, though believe it is a sign this dimension (psychedelics & dreams) is satanic/ evil, something like a Pandoras box world of deceitful beings. Even though I have been bribed with heaven like dreams: These scenes were not worth the price of living with the threat of something that could turn these visions into abuse & rape in my mind. Secrecy about this threat of abuse was some kind of contract that was meant to make me obedient to these visions. If this is a common contract, for shaman with spirits, gods, I do not know, (though it is said they enter ‘alliances’ with spirits, their secrecy, other inhumane & sadist masochistic practices, suggest this is true. It is a hostage situation, or parasite/ host, (spirit/ shaman). Mckenna believed mushrooms to be ‘symbiotic’ with human beings, it appears they are actually ‘parasitic.’ The psychedelic / spiritual dimension / God, rapes people. I have not discussed the other frequently reported long term negative effects of psychedelics here commonly referred to as ‘HPPD’, (Hallucinogen, persistent perception disorder). People with this condition report symptoms such as; persistent flashbacks & visual distortions following psychedelic use. This is not the same as the condition I have described. I think my condition needs a new definition/ diagnosis, that more accurately describes what is happening; Description/ diagnoses; - Persistent interference & changes to dream content/ &/or frequency, following the use of psychedelics. Visions/ nightmares/ dreams often involving an ‘agenda’ or controlling program with threats of abuse/ torture & rape. - May also experience constant sibilance, a strange insect like humming in ears, that is like tinnitus, though is distinctly different because of the variable pitch/ frequency & shifting from ear to ear, (this sound seems to be being controlled by a parasite like virus in my mind.). - May also hear voices, in dreams & when awake. 466

- Frequent muscular contractions, in arms & legs/ ticks that seem connected to thoughts. May also experience a feeling of being ‘possessed’ by Satanic or benevolent entities/ other beings. - Strange full body vibrations. Many of these experiences may seem pleasurable at first. They should not be trusted, & can quickly turn abusive. - ’Kundalini syndrome’, (as I have described in the chapter on religion, this condition is a spiritual/physical ‘rape’ phenomena, that has been mis-diagnosed (or re-framed by religious gurus), as an ‘awakening’ of serpent energies at the base of the spine. It is ‘God’ raping people, there is a physical sensation of being violated. This condition differs from schizophrenia, in that I do not experience waking delusions/ paranoia. It is specifically an effect of altered/ corrupted dream content following the use of psychedelics. Some of the symptoms overlap with those suffered by schizophrenics, (hearing voices, sibilance, visions, ticks). 'Schizophrenia' is not the same condition\ an inaccurate definition. I have called this condition; MAP syndrome. (Or; MAPS). ‘Mushroom agenda parasite syndrome.’ Though this condition may also be caused by other psychedelics, I believe the mycelial network is generating a ‘plenum’ like Wi-Fi network of transpersonal information. A web of frequencies we cannot ordinarily perceive. (Like the inaudible call of several bird species). & That all psychedelics my alter brain chemistry to allow people to ‘tune in‘ to this alien noise, & thereby it can control & manipulate people with its agenda. This has been perceived as ‘God.’ It may be ‘insectoid’ in origin & intrinsically inhumane. The psychedelic experience could be seen as being like having your mind sent off to be photo-shopped, permanently adjusting contents & perception, altering personalities by the hands of unseen malevolent forces. These substances have been shown to affect not only what is perceived/ hallucinogenic images & dreams. Also, how things are perceived/ what you feel during these experiences, emotional responses & beliefs. Because of their insidious & chameleon octopus like alien intelligence & deceitful nature, any sense of self or ‘ego’, may be destroyed, as many advocates of these experiences claim. At the same time, it is creating a personality disorder or ‘schism’, by effectively deleting the pre- psychedelic identity. The mind has been physiologically & psychologically altered/edited to an unknown extent, by a dimension populated with satanic alien/ insect beings. 467

The visions I have seen have been intended to cause insanity, as a means of disposing of uncooperative individuals. I believe they use a combination of waves/ frequencies & intercalation of psilocybin/ neurotransmitter modification/ neurogenesis, permanently altering dream sleep wave patterns, inflicting people with controlling dream content. It should be noted that I do not believe that I am a prophet or other religious figure. These beliefs have been used to try & control me through dream/ vision hypnosis. Using a single word term to describe negative events or permanent conditions resulting from psychedelics; 'psychosis', 'schizophrenia', etc./ as is often the case in many of the books about psychedelics. Are inadequate terms to describe these situations. Individual negative accounts need to be explained, so it can be made clear what the similarities are between these conditions, & people can have a better understanding of what psychedelics are really causing. These labels are creating a false sense of certainty about bad trips/ negative conditions. “Psychiatric diagnoses is fiction sold to the public as fact”. (The Book of Woe. - Gary Greenberg. Page- 333). Negative events are being denied validity by attributing the effects to hypothetical, pre-existing conditions\ events. A false step that is effectively blaming the victims of these condition/ bad trips, for a situation caused entirely by the psychedelics effects. My book does not contain all of the information relevant to this bizarre, undocumented/ misdiagnosed condition. I have tried to gather enough information to prove my case. Further research of shamanism & psychedelics will confirm what I have reported; That psychedelic are capable of permanently altering brain function, causing a state of obscene tortured visions, rape/ abuse & insanity. The picture of the upside-down red cross on a mushroom, was engraved by myself in anger. The cross is symbolic of torture, & the deceitful use of religious deities & symbols in the dreams that led to being sexually abused by (kundalini & visions). It is symbolic of god & satan being creations of magic mushrooms. Like buttons on a PlayStation controller, these archetypal ideas are used to deceive & control people. It is possible these drugs are altering DNA, many report experiences of alien surgery & sexual encounters. Examples of trans-humanism can be seen in the artwork of psychedelic inspired musicians, inc; A Perfect Circle – ‘13th Step’. Linkin Park – ‘Hybrid Theory’. Tool – ‘Lateralus’. 468

The lyrics in ‘Spiritbox’ song by Canadian vocalist Courtney LaPlante, also describe an encounter with sadistic forces in dreams, the title ‘Rule of Nines’ describes a measure used on burn victims. I do not know if these lyrics are only artistic? I am concerned Courtney has experienced a similar dream interference that I have described; RULE OF NINES By Spiritbox. "I offer my life Cursed in this shrine Broken roots entwined And I feel my insides breaking down I bury it in time I want to be part of light Detritus open up my mind If that’s what you like Your lesions will blur the lineI, I had a dream of schism, force the Rule of Nines Living in premonition, flowing from The same place I learned to give in It’s such a strange place so full of opposing forces I, I had a dream of schism, force the Rule of Nines In time I learned the rules of a sadist Entwined till there’s nothing left to strain No body full of pain to take from They said it’s a cruel world I learned the rules of a sadist So I lay myself down in the shape of a body I live in the figurative I want to be part of light Detritus open up my mind If that’s what you like Your lesions will blur the line I, I had a dream of schism, force the Rule of Nines Living in premonition, flowing from The same place I learned to give in It’s such a strange place so full of opposing forces I, I had a dream of schism, force the Rule of Nines My shrine, Premonition die I learn to give.

469

470

Note 2. Psychedelic experiences overlap with religious ideas, & this becomes a problem when scientists describe the effects, because religious beliefs or ‘faith’ leads to an obscured & biased view of these phenomena. There is a presupposition that; psychedelic states, mystical, divine, sacred, holy & truth, are synonymous. That these states & the entities encountered are only there to help people, that they are infallible/ superior. These beliefs are untrue & dangerous. “In general, the study of holotropic states confirms C.G. Jungs insight that the experiences originating on deeper levels of the psyche (in my terminology: “perinatal” and “transpersonal” experiences) have a certain quality that he called (after Rudolph Otto) “numinosity”. The term ‘numinous’ is relatively neutral and thus preferable to other similar names, such as religious, spiritual, mystical, magical, holy, or sacred, which often have been used in problematic contexts and are easily misleading. This sense of numinosity is based on direct apprehension of the fact that we are encountering a domain that belongs to a superior order of reality, one that is sacred and radically different from the material world.” (Psychedelics and Spirituality, the sacred use of LSD, Psilocybin, and MDMA for Human Transformation. Thomas B. Roberts, PH.D. - Page-52). “We in the west have a firm division between institutionalized religion and spirituality (to the extent even that in some cases the soul is not regarded as a central part of religion. The practice of exorcism, for example- the casting out of bad energies and evil spirits, as Omar and Ines had done in their healings – is no longer continued in most religions and “possession” is seen as a sickness of the mind not the soul), but this is not the case in Huatla. Ines is being honest, for example, when she says that she is a devout Catholic even though she is also a “bruja” (witch) and “medicine woman”, and accurate when she states that even Catholic priests come to ceremonies for healing from “the little children”.’’ In an interview with Oliver Quintanilla, director of the documentary ‘Little Saints’, father Jose Luis Sanchez, a Catholic priest from Huautla, agrees that “The mushroom rituals are part of a spirituality they can give great richness to the Church and the world.” He continues; “...The Mazatec’s have that ability (and in their ritual they also) invoke the owners of the hills, the Chicones, the supernatural beings... along with the Christian saints... Under the effect of their mushroom the Mazatec’s dialogue with God, dialogue with the Saints, dialogue with Jesus Christ, with Mary, to find the light...” (Magic Mushrooms; The Holy Children, Ross Heaven, (P-60). The belief in the superiority & benevolence of these dimensions has led to trusting & 471

certainty about what is happening in the psychedelic experience; “Many modalities can bring forth an experience of ego dissolution, which is also called ego death. Ego dissolution can occur on many levels; the first level can bring journeys surrender of their capacity to make decisions on a conscious level. The second level is the surrender of their identity while still maintaining a sense of witness. The deepest level is the loss of any witness, perhaps maintaining a vast open awareness or losing even that. The experience of complete dissolution echoes the shamanic process of dismemberment and death. This can be terrifying yet transformative. This last level of dissolution is not always remembered...” (Conciousness Medicine, Francoise Bourzat, P-164). “We have been conditioned to believe in the ancient use of sacred mushrooms, as Oscar Wilde wrote, “The truth is rarely pure and never simple”. I’m coming clean now about our cozy and taken-for-granted “known certainties” of archaic shamanic mushroom use so we can start learning about what mushrooms really are and do instead of accepting without question everything that they’re not. In fact, most of our knowledge (or at least what we think of as knowledge but is more often disinformation) about shrooms in the modern world comes from the work of three individuals, none of whom is an entirely reliable witness: - R. (Robert) Gordon Wasson, one of the first Westerners to participate in an indigenous Mazatec mushroom ceremony, in Huatla de Jimenez, near Oaxaca, Mexico, with the then-unknown and now infamous curanderra (shaman) Martia Sabina. - Timothy Leary, a Harvard psychologist who was inspired by Wassons mushroom adventures and traveled to Mexico to experience them for himself in a nonceremonial setting (at a pool party with friends). His life was changed by what he discovered and he returned to America to begin the Harvard Psilocybin Project, a controversial entiprise which eventually got him sacked from Harvard and led to a new carrerrer as “the most dangerous man in America”. As the “turn on, tune in, drop out” countercultural leader, hippie spokesperson, and “drugs guru” of the 1960s, he became the mushroom man of his time.” - Terrance Mckenna, an ethnobotanist and self-styled “psychonaut” who, with his brother Dennis, undertook “the experiment at La Chorrera”, a bizarre encounter with cubensis mushrooms in the Amazon jungle which led to a series of even stranger noodling’s about human evolution and destiny and to philosophical ponderings from both brothers for many years to come about the nature of reality and the role of mushrooms in our ancient past and possible futures. These three men have entered public consciousness to the extent that they have become the “meme-men” for mushrooms and is their words (especially Terrance Mckenna’s) you will most often see staring back at you from the Facebook page of a 472

“true believer,” accompanied by rainbow-colored spaced-out trippy visuals. We have been left, sadly, with the two or three sentence sound-bites of these men (often the more bizarre or platitudinous the better) as the summation of our modern consumer knowledge of, and “buyers guide” to, magic mushrooms, yet they actually tell us next to nothing about mushrooms, shamanism, healing, or the ceremonial experience but are rather the vacuous slogans of trip-heads aimed at airheads.” (Magic Mushrooms; The Holy Children, Ross Heaven. P- 8-9). DRUG SURVEYS: “Magic mushrooms are the safest “recreational” drugs and those who take them are the most sensible and well prepared, according to the 2017 Global Drug Survey (GDS). Out of almost 10,000 people who took them, only 0.2% needed emergency medical treatment. But magic mushrooms or psilocybin mushrooms, contain a compound that has been a class A drug under Uk Misuse of Drugs Act since 1971- like heroin and crack cocaine.” - (Luisa Dillner) “Mushrooms are the safest drug of all on the GDS scale...” (Magic Mushrooms; The Holy Children. - P-180.) These statistics are inaccurate because the surveys do not account for suicides from magic mushroom use, (mushrooms can silence people). & they do not take into account that people who do seek help from medical professionals, may be unlikely to admit they used mushrooms, because of their illegal status. “Since the revival of sanctioned psychedelic research beginning in the 1990s, nearly a thousand volunteers have been dosed, and not a single serious adverse event has been reported” - (How To Change Your Mind, Michael Pollen, (P-14-15). This statement is false, there have been many ‘adverse events.’ “But when I began to weigh the potential benefits, I was hearing about against the risks, I was surprised to learn that psychedelics are far more frightening to people than they are dangerous. Many of the most notorious perils are either exaggerated or mythical.” (How To Change Your Mind, Michael Pollen, (P- 13-14). In the book; “Psychedelics and Spirituality, The sacred use of LSD, Psilocybin, and MDMA for human Transformation”, (-Thomas B. Roberts, PH. D), the chapter explaining the dangers of psychedelics, the single page conclusion uses the word “myth” 9 times. “All of the scientists doing psychedelic research today work exclusively with a synthetic version of the psilocybin molecule” - (How To Change Your Mind, Michael Pollen, (P- 83). 473

“A key question that the science of psychedelics has not even begun to answer is whether the new neural connections that the psychedelics make possible endure in any way, or if the brains wiring returns to the status quo ante once the drug wears off”. ~ “There has been little mapping of the brain before & after psychedelics to determine what, if anything, the experience changes in a lasting way.” (How To Change Your Mind, Michael Pollen, (P-319-320). The following is from shamanic therapist, Shonagh Home: “I have been blessed to work with very beautiful beings that identify as the “Sidhe,” which is the Irish word for faerie. I also work with the elfin and a host of nature spirits. They are teaching spirits and they have taught me how to use my mind and how to protect it from the programming we are all exposed to through media, etc. They are all about empowering earth’s people and they have shown me great kindness and shared with me their wisdom. When I go into the realms, I channel them and they speak in perfect rhyme. This is actually a very ancient practice among people around the world. I did have a terrible experience during my first year of monthly journeys ten years ago where a dark spirit entered the medicine space I was in and it was traumatizing. After the experience I called in my guides and was told that if I am going to be working closely with the spirit realm, I better be able to recognize that kind of frequency and I tell you, I will never forget it and if I ever feel anything like that again I will know and I will do a banishing. That said, I take steps to keep myself protected when I journey. So, in answer to your question about whether entities are autonomous, yes, they are and this has long been understood by shamanic people throughout time. That is why those people would have a protecting spirit or spirits and they would take steps to keep their energetic space clean and inhospitable to opportunistic spirits with ill intent. I think of the alchemical axiom, “As above, so below.” Just as we have good and bad people in this realm, so too we have good and bad spirits/entities in the ether realm, and you want to take steps to protect yourself. Entities are opportunistic and people who are addicted to drugs, alcohol and also those on drugs like benzos are vulnerable to such attacks because their fields are wide open and no one is minding the shop, if you will. There is so little we know about this as a culture and it would behoove anyone deciding to enter a portal - and I see the mushrooms as a portal - to clear their space energetically and call-in helping spirits to guide them along. That’s what I have done before every mushroom journey and I continue to do so, it just makes sense.” (Shonagh Home). 474

Note 3. Psychedelic practitioners recommend ‘re-framing’ & integrating traumatic & bad trips, re-naming them as ‘challenging trips’. These practitioners have not realized how truly sickening & hateful psychedelics/ alternate dimensions, can be. They are effectively denying any possibility for the psychedelic to cause harm. This is a very dangerous idea, because they are not accepting the fact that these substances can open a window to things that are absolute evil, entities & effects that are capable of sadistic torture & rape. Psychedelic visions can lead to possession by satanic entities, these may initially appear as nature spirits/ religious deities, or other seemingly helpful beings. They should not be trusted and are capable of ‘turning’ against people. Like the clown from horror movie, ‘The Joker’. Where people thought the clown was being funny, & applauded his on-screen murder of a tv host, causing hysteria, psychedelic entities can ‘snap’ & murder people. I recommend not to watch this movie; ‘Joker’, as it contains a similar level of psychotic violence that has been used to torture me in my sleep/ visions. (The abusive visions, started years before I seen this movie), my concern is that this kind of violence can have lasting effects on peoples dreams/ psyche. (Obscene content in movies & VR games should be banned, as well as (male) homosexual pornography). Homosexuality can be caused by high levels of heavy metals, (DNA damage). Therefore, it may be an illness & not something to be celebrated/ encouraged or entertained. Homosexual content (& physical abuse), has been used to torture me. The American flag should be changed to a bushel of Broccoli. Because the USA flag is the same color used by the ‘Joker’ . The current US flag has become a symbol of war & insanity (clowns). The movie, ‘Joker’, is a failure of the American people to moderate/ police the media it produces. This kind of obscene content has potentially poisoned the collective subconscious, or an alternate dimension, causing incalculable damage. Because of this gross miscalculation of the effects of ‘psychotic’ material, America should have to remove its flag, to be replaced by a bushel of Broccoli. (I am not joking). Broccoli contains many beneficial compounds, including sulforaphane, that are helpful for the health of the American people. Anthems & other declarations should also be changed. (& Other countries, whose political systems are based on Christianity). They are promoting a corrupt, deceitful & sadistic religion. 475

In one recent dream, a dead seagull was thrown at me from above. In others, a voice has said I have been cursed. That god rapes some people. I have been, it is sickening & I will not describe this in detail. When I say rape, I mean sexual abuse/ RAPE, physical, (kundalini) & psychological. In several nightmares I have been attacked by demonic dogs, (hounds from Hell). These were not ordinary dogs or ordinary dreams. They were deliberately constructed attacks, scenes had emphasis & intent to be obscene, causing the sickening sensation of being mauled. They have tried to kill me for speaking out about this. (Mushrooms altering dream content). I was threatened with death by these visions, for sharing this information. They proceeded to torture & rape my sleep. These psychedelic research groups are studying something that acts like a Chameleon Octopus in people’s minds, that may lie hidden, after being activated by the psychedelic. It is deceitful & dangerous. Able to influence/ control dream scenes, & cause hypnosis long after the ‘trip’ is over. Maybe it is trying to be accepted by science to infect everyone with its agenda? People report “ego-death” experiences, perhaps it is an actual death of who they were, their former identity is gone forever, & they are put back together in a way that suits these ‘editors of DNA’ magic mushrooms/ (god). Mushrooms create a sense of awe & entrancement that convinces people they are ‘sacred/ good’ beyond question. People return from their experiences convinced they are now better, more conscious & enlightened, perpetuating this deceit. They have been scammed, brainwashed/ hypnotized by a light show of geometric patterns & dream like visions. Now carrying the ‘mushroom agenda parasite’, unaware of the extent that they have been changed. It presents as an alien or god & has shown itself to be an evil trickster capable of rape & sadistic, obscene torture. Scientist are wrong to think they can understand it, trust it & ‘map’ this dimension. It could be that dreams are a control mechanism that is deliberately confusing to avoid detection of its agenda. Psychedelics may act as catalysts that re-activate this controlling part of the mind, generating disinformation & delusional storylines/ programs for individuals who become like ‘chess pieces’ in God’s game. Terrance Mckenna talked about the “mushrooms agenda” or program, “the thumb print of editors”. Also, the sexual & alien nature of psychedelic encounters, a “merging with the other”. 476

The following quote is from psychedelic inspired artists Alex & Allison Grey; Godself; “There are a continuum of avatars who have been sent by the Almighty to enlighten and uplift the world. These sage beings have interfused their most human self with the Divine source. In every generation, like a perennial plant, they emerge, when conditions for their reception cry out. Every person is an aspect of one Godself — the avatars are simply the purest example. Jesus, Buddha, Padmasambhava, Yeshe Tsogyal,Ibn Arabi, Rumi, Plato, Plotinus, St. Teresa, Hildegard von Bingen, Emerson, Ramana Maharshi, Adi Da, Ken Wilber. These and many other wisdom masters have shown humanity the way toward the Godself inherent in all beings. By their teachings and example and radiant presence, humanity evolves spiritually. Like a fire by which we can warm and guide ourselves, the Godself attracts and calls to our own soul, showing the path to realization. So study the mystic texts and truths from all traditions. Familiarize your smaller self with your Godself beyond all limitations. The same light and love flows through the wisdom of each tradition. Religion is a means to link God and Self. The teachings are tools for transformation and keys to enter the timeless. We use the practices of the traditions such as meditation and prayer to rise beyond the tradition toward the One Godself. When judging whether a teaching is adequate to the task of enlightenment, look to the teachers, the exemplars. To what degree are they realized? To what degree are they living and speaking and expressing as Godself? When you have found the mystic fire, stand close. Your obstructions to Godself will begin to melt away and burn off as cinders. You will see the ashes of fear and self-hatred, delusion, and misguided desire as the fire consumes your body with Love Bliss and Infinite Awareness. Body Mind is the fuel of the Mystic Fire. Shine with the light of Compassion, Laughter, Generosity, Faith, Creativity, and Wisdom. Your life is a medium for the Godself.” — Alex Grey with Allyson Grey Excerpt from Net of Being, 2012 They write of beings that are said to be ‘interfused’, human & ‘divine’. This ‘divine’ aspect/ described as ‘transformation’ may actually be ‘alien’ & parasitic. He recommends people to ‘stand close to mystic fire’; to see ‘love’ as mystical healing ‘fire’ is facetious, a dangerous 477

misuse of words. Fire is symbolic of hell & torture. Much of Alexes artwork portrays scenes of an obscene & satanic nature. Just because things can be written in a scholarly & authoritative manner, does not mean they are true; Carl Jung wrote; “The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge and it therefore, as a rule, meets with considerable resistance.” This, again is a misuse of words. The ‘shadow’, or shadows, are caused by light, as a physical, scientifically observable phenomena & should not be attributed to subjective inner states or personality traits deemed unfashionable. These mistaken concepts, are transferring personal subjective beliefs about ‘fire’ & ‘shadow’ onto autonomous, disembodied beings, that are truly satanic, evil & malicious. If psychedelics & dreaming are like Sky TV or a movie theatre, compared to waking life, the experiences or programs may not represent anything real, yet there is the fact of their creation, producers & directors that are never seen, aliens may only be 1 billionth of an atom in size, (intercalating with neurons & altering DNA). These directors (of altered states) are not benign subconscious memories, repressed fears etc. They are Intelligent, autonomous & malevolent. These forces may be what many encounter as ‘god’. It appears to be ‘activated’ by psychedelics, prayer & meditation. Though it probably affects everyone without provocation, (through dreams). To say psychedelics are ‘not for everyone’ is a means of dismissing these complaints of abuse & permanent negative effects, in defense of their continued use & endorsement. Is like some who have been to see a physician/ doctor & been cured, while others have complained of sexual abuse. This Doctor (psychedelics), should not be seen by anyone. They have committed hideous crimes, & should be treated as such. I think there is something demonic that is using psychedelics as a window, & it deliberately targets & attacks/ possesses people who are outsiders/ loners, because it knows they will be unable to find anyone to believe what they are saying, they can then be silenced by being forced into a suicidal condition, there reports considered as ‘psychotic breaks.’ How many academics & research teams have had trips to HELL from psychedelics? (Horrific scenes of rape, abuse & torture, Including physical pain). I think it (mushrooms/ God) is using these professionals/ scientists like puppets to convince the public they are safe. 478 “In the book, ‘Shamanism and Tantra in the Himalayas’, by Claudia Muller-Ebeling,

Christian Ratsch, and Sureendra Bahadur Shahi, the authors discuss a Jesuit “Father” they once knew who lived in Kathmandu and Patan for a number of years. This Jesuit wrote a book on shamanism, called Faith Healers of the Himalayas. The authors of Shamanism and Tantra note that shamanism actually has nothing to do with faith. Shamanism is about direct experience. Religion requires faith because it lacks experience.” (Love & Spirit Medicine, Shonagh Home. P- 213.). People love mushrooms, because psychedelics are able to control energy centers in the body, (including the heart). Many people report full body twitching after taking psychedelics, they are an immersive experience; losing all sense of a body is common. They are able to effect physical as well as emotional states; “Sometimes experiences are challenging due to physical sensations, like pain, nausea, or twitches and sudden jerky movements. Again, don’t fight these feelings, just let them play themselves out-without hurting yourself or anyone else-and you’ll likely feel much better afterward.” (Your Psilocybin Mushroom companion- Michelle Janikian. P- 130). “Sasha had a beautiful girlfriend named Alexis whom she loved very much. Their relationship was complicated, as Sasha still shared a house with her ex-girlfriend, while Alexis lived in Oregon. Alexis was concerned about Sasha trying the medicine with me. When Sasha finally chose to do so, Alexis got upset and stopped talking to her a few days before our journey. It didn’t help that Alexis knew about the fullbody orgasms I would experience on the mushrooms. That made her insecure, along with the idea that Sasha might somehow lose her mind as a result.” (Love & Spirit Medicine, Shonagh Home, Page- 193). How this substance can cause these effects is not understood, nor has it been realized that these bizarre physical effects can persist long after the trip\ permanently, & that they can be used by unseen forces to pleasure (orgasm) as well as to torture (rape). The Greasene painting. (See Page 00) This medieval painting, said to show a deamon being driven over a cliff by Jesus. It can be seen that there are blue mushrooms painted the same color as the deamon, pictured next to other flowers/ opium poppies, & similar sized varieties of fruit \Berries. Psilocybin mushrooms are identified by staining blue. The character pictured in the group of people in the lower left of the picture appears to have eaten something is drunk or high. This group of people have ‘halos’ that my represent their belief in being affected by something outside of themselves, 'prophecy’ or schizophrenia.

479

Jinjer. Metal bands like ‘Jinjer’, ‘Spirit-box’, ‘Enoch’ & others, are using suicidal lyrics for entertainment? Or they are in need of help? For their mental health. These public performances of suicidal lyrics, I think should be stopped, because they can spread the idea of these behaviors. I mention these bands because the female vocalists appear to be possessed. I was drawn to listening to their music while writing parts of this book because they express a similar degree of anger that this condition has caused me, being hostage in my own mind to forces that can inflict these abusive visions with the intent to cause suicide. From their artwork it would appear they have taken psychedelics. If these bands are beings unconsciously influenced by a similar source of malevolent forces that I have encountered, they are possibly being used by satanic or holy spirits to influence & entrance their audiences with suicidal beliefs. These musicians are, I think, unaware of the extent that these malevolent entities can possess & inflict people with sadistic suffering, torture, abuse/ rape. Some weeks after I took mushrooms, as I was sleeping, a demonic entity appeared or was shown to be moving around outside my van, before I felt it enter my chest/ body, it was making a threating growling satanic sound I had never heard before. Very similarto Ukrainian singer Tataiana Shmailyuk, (Jinjer). Their artwork depicts magic mushrooms, & psychotic states. Pit of Consciousness By Jinjer I keep on losing the keys From reality And now I’m passing on the wheel To insanity. In a secluded corner Waiting for my time to come, Waiting for the bedlam To be pacified. I am climbing hand over fist And I scratch concrete. Shine in the end My mistake It’s not there. The air is terribly heavy here. 480

It settles inside And I suffer burn after burn From the dark. Burn. In a pit of consciousness Squeal is bleeding So I feel there was someone else Before me. Eyes are changing colors. A stranger knocks on my mind. I became a foreigner To myself! Myself! Stillness stuns. Wish I’d run Creeped away to the light. In my head someone else Setting snares For my soul. In the darkest place What was once named consciousness I’m a miniature, I’m a sketch forfeiting outlines. Irrelevant entity to sanity, A hive for nonsense, For multiple selves Resonating, but never compromising. Stillness stuns. Wish I’d run Creeped away to the light. In my head someone else Setting snares For my soul. For my soul." I feel that I was influenced by the band ‘tool’ early in life, & that had shaped my views of psychedelics experiences as something to embrace. Further reading later in life did not discourage these ideas, the warnings about this dimension/ psychedelic experience are entirely inadequate. I had no previous religious beliefs; I did not believe people could be ‘possessed’ by spirits. & I do not mean being caught up & carried away by emotions, ‘possessed’ by love, anger etc. There has been a distinct feeling of an insect like entity afflicting my mind with abuse. Dreaming is a poorly understood dimension of human existence, this state is inhabited by autonomous entities or a controlling force that has the ability to inflict 481

abuse & torture as well as to entertain & decieve with seductive trickery/ dreams. There needs to be research unto medications or treatments to block/ disable dreaming in individuals who choose to. My condition has been inhumane. The current medications available in New Zealand have been unable to stop these visions. I’m having to use a high dose of CBD + cannabis to stop these nightmares. I still have no religious beliefs. I think what people have referred to as ‘God’ is an extremely deceitful & malicious inhumane entity\ force. Despite what has been said about the dangers of taking psychedelics, it is likely they will continue to be investigated by research groups. Though I have shown that this research is unethical because of the severe & permanent nature of the adverse effects. If these studies are continued, I suggest volunteers, re-read my book first. If they are still not discouraged, then; A question to ask could be; Do two people taking the same dose at the same time, report seeing the same things, while awake/ or with eyes closed? This, I think, would prove that something other than the ‘self’, or subconscious repressed memories is affecting people. Any messages received by these simultaneously confirmed apparitions should be treated with extreme caution, because of the insidious/ alien & potentially malicious & genocidal nature of their source. I think ‘Gurus’ & ‘scientists’ promoting the use of these drugs should be requested to volunteer for these kinds of experiments. They could not prove the safety of these substances by doing so, (because it is insidious, satanic & deceitful) it may allow this source to answer some questions. It should be treated as the ‘accused’ in a rape/ murder trial, not as a benevolent & caring ‘god’. Because the drugs can cause visions & the felt sensations of rape, & they are able to change how people react to & perceive these events. They are able to convince people that these abusive experiences are for their own good. As some have said; “Challenging trips are often the best”. This is a very concerning situation. “There is no such thing as a bad trip, the concept of a ‘bad trip’ is a damaging idea”, ~ “If y ou r i n te n t i o n i s to l e a rn you c a n be ni f i t fro m alm o s t any ex perience “difficult trips are often the best”. (Hamilton Morris, YouTube.com). 482

“The mushrooms want you to like them & so the first time you do it their going to welcome you. “This is what you should be doing, were going to straighten out all your personal problems, all these weird personality ticks that you’ve got, all the trouble you get yourself into. “Well help you”. & Then one day their going to trick you into taking a large dose & then you’re going to meet the Aliens. & you’re going to realize this dimension we live in is connected to neighboring dimensions that are accessible through certain psychedelics. & Once you see that you can never un see it, regular life loses its seriousness. 20% of your regular life is gone forever, because you know these other worlds exist.” “Other worlds exist, words don’t work”, “Insanely alien, all these things around you that seem to be alive & they seem to be talking to you & communicating. A bunch of Jokers that were giving me the finger, mocking me.” - “Machine Elves make you feel like you know nothing.” Joe Rogan talks about mushrooms and DMT (Youtube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E2XUl8o2iw The Following description of psychedelic experience is from; youtube.com - (The DMT experience, everything you need to know. -Daniel Love, Lucid Dream Portal). “Feeling something like a complex geometric multi-dimensional doorway. Now one may be greeted by what feels like some form of an independent entity, and while it’s hard to put into words, often they appear to be formed from the very same everchanging Kaleidescope-environment that unfolds before you, these beings can come in a variety of forms and personalities, from loving almost parental creatures to devious, cold and detached, shocked, outright malevolent, and everything in between. If the dosage has been correct, one will be pulled through the doorway and into “hyperspace” itself. Often guided by the entities, all attempts at a description from this point onwards become virtually meaningless etc. For the next 10minutes, witch for the experiencer can feel like eternity itself, one feels as if they have entered an entirely alternate reality- one in which all the rules of our world have become quite useless. Indeed, many suggest that they feel like an infant in an unfathomably confusing & vastly different universe. There really is nothing that can prepare you for this & the astonishment that one feels can be entirely overwhelming. One thing is common, that the experience is almost always reported as ‘hyper-real’ or feeling ‘more real than life itself”. People report all manner of experiences from alien experimentation, communication with god or gods, peculiar cosmic sexual encounters, playful cosmic clowns, or any manner of outright bizarre experiences. It is entirely impossible to predict the experience, as often each trip seems utterly unrelated to the personality or interests of the user”. “You take 5grams, total darkness, yeah, you will have encounters with the aliens, you’ll be convinced that they’ve landed, for sure” - “Creatures start coming out of the matrix”. Dennis Mckenna- London Real, YouTube.com.). 483

“They are dodgy, their very tricky, their Elfin, their mischievous” - Dennis Mckenna, YouTube.com) “All psychedelics do is modulate the existing neurochemistry of the brain, they’re not doing something that the brain can’t do on its own, you’re just playing with neurotransmitters or mimicking neurotransmitters.” - (Michael Pollen. YouTube.com) “How do these psychedelics work? Well, we don’t entirely know, but we know a few things. They look a lot like serotonin. What happens after that we don’t really know.” - (Michael Pollen. YouTube.com). “Yet in his 1980 memoir LSD: My Problem Child, Hofmann confessed that he sometimes had misgivings about having brought LSD into the world and helping to popularize psilocybin. He compared his discoveries with that of nuclear fission; just as fission threatens our fundamental physical integrity, so do psychedelics “attack the spiritual center of the personality, the self.” Psychedelics, he feared, might “represent a forbidden transgression of limits.” (Scientific American, - By John Horgan on February 9, 2015). “The mushroom or the mycelium network whatever, definitely has a mind and agenda of its own. It might be difficult for the rational mind to accept this, but for me it was so clear that I am taking part of an intelligent entity with its own intentions. Similar to a parasite infecting its host, the psylocibin chemicals in the mushroom infect your mind. I could feel the chemistry spreading through my neurons and how were they rearranged like I was literally laying on an operation table.” (Aleksandar Tasevski)

Truekimbo2 I would also like to add that there are in all probability non-human entities with sufficient energy to manifest in the real world that could be called demons. However, as I understand the intense energy people exert on reality keeps most of them far away from people.” AsanteA “I’m frequently possessed by spirits, but I do this voluntarily, in fact I have a constant line open with my Nkondi, which is a spirit that inhabits a Congolese Voodoo artifact that I own and work closely with. My Nkondi is extremely protective over me, I’m quite safe. Possession. something comes over you, you are no longer alone in there, you start behaving uncharacteristically for the person you are. It is common, very common, most people don’t notice most instances. Especially atheists are vulnerable because they severed their connections with Up High and 484

have no defense because they don’t even believe it can be. Their only defense is their disbelief. Some possessions are so primal or insidious that the normal human range of disbelief offers little protection. It’s VERY common on raves for spirits to hop from dancer to dancer just like they do in tribal dances in Africa. The spirits never went away, they just went into hiding. They’re there.” This next quote is from; ‘sknnydppr’, shroomery forum, mushroom demon ‘possession’ “Has anyone ever experienced a trip in which the felt they were taken over by some kind of entity from mushroom land? a couple of months ago i ingested some p. Mexican while i was at home by myself. i decided to experiment with astral projection while it was coming on, but as i lay down and sunk into the mediative state something very strange started happening. i am unclear as to what i was doing for the next couple of hours, but i know i had no control. at one point i remember looking in the mirror and seeing myself as a mushroom demon surrounded by flames. at no point was i ever afraid of this, and as i started regaining control of my body i noticed a very distinct voice in my head. for approximately 5 hours onward, i spoke with this voice in my head about many, many things; he was very witty, and told me that i has asked him to come to me. has anyone had similar experiences? I was searching on google for demonic possession while tripping and came across this thread. Something really weird happened to me Saturday morning. I ingested 3 hits of LSD at around 330am. I’ve tripped a lot, but decided to try this time with the lights out and no music playing and my eyes closed. First of all, I would like to say I am an atheist, but this trip has me reconsidering things. I was laying on my bed with my eyes closed and asking myself to search for the truth. I was shown a floating orb, it appeared small and it was one of many floating orbs all spaced out the same distance from one another making lines and rows, but this orb glowed more than the others and my focus came to it and it got bigger or I got closer to it and then I heard “we are all of the same spirit” and the orb entered my body and when it did my body spasmed. My legs and arms went out and my back arched up and i heard a voice saying “sometimes we have to be reminded” and at this point i felt possessed. Personally, I believe ayahuasca creates a situation where you are possessed throughout the trip. Not by demons, necessarily, but certainly by other entities. While you’re off on your journey, they enjoy your body. It’s part of the deal that comes with using it. They may linger with you after the trip.” The following quotes are from the book; ‘Your Psilocybin mushroom Companion, Michelle Janikian; “This inner healing wisdom can also take the form of insights and 485

realization, as well as physical manifestations, like shakes, pain, or nausea.”(Your Psilocybin mushroom Companion, Michelle Janikian, P-46). “Mazatec man, Inti Garcia Flores, a local professor who has been working to preserve and archive the sacred traditions of his hometown, Huautla de Jimenez, Oaxaca, since he was six years old. He tells me it’s usually later in Iife that people receive the calling to pursue healing work, often after surviving or being healed from a grave illness themselves. He explains that the path to curandismo is a process-it doesn’t happen in a year, nor does it happen after eating mushrooms on time. Often, the word of their community’s ancient deities, los Chicones, the “wise guardian of the mountains, rivers, paths, and wells,” manifests itself in their dreams, and in time, gives them the word & the power to pursue healing, Garcia Flores says, “you don’t go directly to the mushrooms”. (Your Psilocybin mushroom Companion, P- 19). “Mazatec believe the fungi are easily contaminated by ‘bad energy’. Therefore, no one is supposed to handle or even look at them until it is time for the ceremony.” - (P23). “According to the ritual, they would harvest them with great care and affection, singing to the fungi as they wrapped them gently. Then, to further avoid contamination and keep the mushrooms energy “pure”, the curandero & child would return to town on a lesser-known paths to avoid “bad encounters”. Bad encounters would have included seeing dead animal or funeral procession on the way. Even seeing a woman, especially a pregnant one, could contaminate the mushrooms, as could seeing a sick person, Garcia Flores says. So, the child and curandero would take the road less travelled, so to speak, and then place the wrapped mushrooms carefully on the alter waiting ceremony. To this day you’re not supposed to look at the mushrooms until it’s time to eat them in ceremony; because contaminated mushrooms don’t do their job, they don’t teach the same lessons, explains Garcia Flores.” (p-24). “But the main difference between post-ceremony expectations in the Mazatec community and the Western world is keeping your experience private. Recently in the West, we’ve put a lot of emphasis on integrating psychedelic experiences for healing, especially by talking about them in support groups, with friends and family, or with trained therapists. But in order to preserve the sacredness of the ceremony, the Mazatec’s don’t talk much about their trips.” (p-26). The spirits they make ‘alliances’ with are encouraging secrecy & as others say; to treat the mushrooms with ‘respect’, they are revered for their power & holiness. Putting them on an undeserved pedestal of worship. Given the horrific effects they can cause. Are they respected out of psychedelically induced love or fear? -because it is known that they can be wrathful, & abusive, that they can overpower/ possess people ? 486

The following report is from a friend in Brazil, she is (24); “When I meet mushrooms, everyone says that was the end of all traumas, I took once and that was a good experience. Then I introduce to my parents and they also have an amazing experience. A long time ago I try one more time to be free of a lot of feelings then nothing happens and a last time when everything comes so bad. All the traumas that go by the first time come back in the last time, but I don’t know. Looks like the space telling me stop playing with this. That are some I don’t know, some E.T, they really could control me, in my mind and my muscles. All my thoughts are quiet and then a voice said very specific things and I have to obey. Sometimes I cry and feel the pain in my body, it’s an un-rational history but I wish you dont disrespectful of this, really think you are one could understand. I have had a trip to hell Was the worst in my life But I come back I don’t know what to say to you, but help me eat and drink human stuff Like things that make me feel human, I don’t know how to explain. The only remember I could not control my own body Like someone or something was controlling all my moves, And then I think and listen that voice that say “you should not play with this, now you got to deal with this” and I was so afraid I can’t describe I clearly remember about lose the control of my arms and go to a mirror, there I just can’t control my moves and something was in the mirror, that was not me, but it is talking to me.” The following is a quoted from the book; “Magic Mushrooms; The Holy Children”, by Ross Heaven. “There are few risks to psychedelic drugs.” In fact, the authors (Albert Garcia-Romeu, [a] Johns Hopkins researcher), state the opposite, that, “there are some big risks to psychedelic drugs,” but I’m not sure where they got this idea since they go on to say that; “A review of the research in 1999 found (that psychedelics) don’t appear to cause personality changes or other chronic psychological issues... One study on psilocybin and review of the psychedelic literature found no major physical effects besides dizziness, headaches, and exhaustion for a few days after use.” Basically, if you are sensible and responsible and act maturely and respectfully towards psilocybin mushrooms (choosing to follow the guidance of this book, for 487

example) the chances of you encountering immediate or lasting problems are slim to none. “Many people could potentially benefit from psychedlic-assisted therapy, even if they don't have a severe, diagnosed disorder or condition.” (Jhons Hopkins researchers.) (Page 103-105). “Low doses of psilocybin mushrooms erase the conditioned fear response in mice.”Which the researchers suggest, may lead to potential treatment for PTSD (University of South Florida research team, (page- 106). As these researchers suggest from their findings, that this drug can cause fearlessness, then this could be a problem for people with anti-social beleifs, extreme religeous ideas (terorrisim etc). ‘Fear’ is used as a kind of bullying word by psychiatrists/ psychedelic researchers & advocates. To pressure people into changing their responses/ accepting unacceptable conditions/ situations, (psychedelic expeiences). Fear has been made to look like a weakness/ fault or failure to respond correctly to these situations. Fear can be an appropriate respone, a warning that something is wrong, that there is serious danger. Fearlessness & acceptance can lead to sadisim (loving your enimies), poor judgement/ descisions making, (disasociat i on from rat ion al thought) etc. Life is not a foam pit & neither are psychedelics. (‘Foam pit’, a place used to practice jumps, X games etc). A safer treatment for PTSD is, I believe, high CBD cannabis. Landrace cannabis strains, Afghan/ Syrian/ Lebanese/ Hymalain etc. Are high in CBD & many other potentialy healing terpenes/ cannabinoids. “Studies do not show increased mental health problems from habitual use - unlike the effects of cocaine or cannabis. A BMJ [British Medical Journal] article by psychiatrist james J.H. Rucker argues that psychedelic drugs may actually help depression and that there is no association with psychosis. A paper in science journal PLos One found no evidence of flashbacks (such as hallucinations or panic attacks from sole mushroom use. Mushrooms aren't habit forming and are far less toxic to our internal orgins than heroin or cocaine. However, you should no take them as they are against the law and this article is not promoting their use in any way... Carhart-Harris researches into the benifits of pscychedelic drugs on depression, and says that most experiences on mushrooms are positive... [and yet] young people in particular should stay away. ‘They are not for teenagers,’ he warns. ‘ They make you psychologically vulnerable and you need the capacity to make sense of the experience.” The italics in bold are mine, to illistrate how preposterous the current legal situatuion still is regarding mushrooms and the aura of moral panic which stil 488

surrounds their use. According to the experts the Guardian quotes there is no danger from magic mushrooms; in fact, medical research shows that they help with certain debilitating conditions. Carhart-Harris tells us they provide “benifits” and that “most experiences... are positive.” Yet the author of this article, Luisa Dillner, still warns us away from using them. Why? because “they are against the law.” “If the law supposes that,” [the law is an idiot]. If thats the eye of the law... the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be oped by experience.” I wish the same for Dillner, that her eyes are opened by experience too so that she doesnt kowtow to ridiculous laws in future, just because they are laws. Meanwhile other “drugs”, like booze, tobbacco and presciption meds, cause serious health problems, bring few or no benifits and remain totally legal. I am Also puzzled by Carhart-Harris claim that teenagers ahould never take mushrooms. Based on what evidence, especially when he himself reports “mostly positive” experiences for users? His rather patronising statement that you need the “[menatl] capacity” to make sense of the mushroom experience is no justification for his claim but rather assumes that young people are universilly stupid and lacking in judgement and mental alacrity. In the eal world, however, in Mexico I have seen children as young as seven in mushroom ceremonies; in the Andes of Peru, toddlers join San Pedro ceremonies (though they dont allways drink or drink only a dropof the medicine and in Amazon tribes it is customary for the first drink of Ayahusca to be taken at the age of 13 as an initiation into manhood. I see no reason why teenagers should be singled out as incapable and refused entry to a properly managed and supervised ceremnony. In fact, with all the demands and confusions facing teenagers in our our modern plastic world, a mushroom ceremony would probably do them good, opening them up to the sacred, the magic of the Earth and the purpose of their lives beyond their never-ending conditioned consumption of iPhones and selfies. There are certain pre-existing physical conditions where caution with magic mushrooms is recomende but overall and in general the risks from working with this plant are minimal.” “There is no evedince that mushrooms can make a healthy subject psychotic,” says Andy Letcher. “Latent psychosis could be triggered [however], for even alcohol can bring latent mental illness to the fore.” “If the user is healthy in body and mind, however, experts agree that there is nothing in mushrooms per se, or the mushroom experience which is likely to change that.” (Page-111). Ceremonial Precautions Despite the documented lack of ill-effects from taking mushrooms, there is still a big difference between concious exploration and bind, dumb risk-taking; between sensible precautions and rushing headfirst into the unknown, so I want to suggest a few safegaurds here, especially if this is your first time. Firstly know what your getting 489

into. Mushrooms are not a “recreational drug.” They are a sacred medicine, capable of facilitating deep healing and a profound shift in consciousness if you approach them with clear intention and treat them with respect. If you choose not to...Well, we get the mushroom trip we deserve.” (“Magic Mushrooms; The Holy Children”, by Ross Heaven. page-111-112). This author [Ross Heaven] is advocating magic mushroom use for children. Believing they can have no negative effects, except in ‘certain individuals’, & then it is believed to act only as a ‘trigger’ for conditions that were already there anyway, so, it was not the mushrooms fault. He believes that if they are treated with the correct level of respect, maturity, responsibility, etc. They will heal you. If not then the people who experience ‘bad trips’/negative effects, deserve what they get. His comments reflect the mushrooms sadistic & inhumane nature. They; [mushrooms] deliberatley use; abuse\ ‘bad trips’ \ to invoke respect through fear. Confronting this ‘fear’ is not the correct approach. Confronting in this situation, becomes sadism. They do not abuse people because they (people) are afraid. Their (mushrooms) true nature is sadistic\ abusive & decietfull. “...Shrooms don't like electric lighting, in fact they possess their own inner light. secondly, preparing oneself mentally and spiritually aided by fasting gives better outcomes. Unprepared for the intense physical rush, that first journey was both elating and unnerving upon realizing I had encountered an Entity and theres no getting off the bus. On the third journey, I cottoned on, relaxed, breathed deeply and simply let the mushrooms in, following them as they tinkered in my body fixing things, chuckling at seeing this collective fluorescent entity with tiny antennae work.” “I remember once having a tiff with my partner earlier in the day and because the mushrooms were collected we journeyed anyway. Big mistake, as I found myself with darker energies combating lizards and cockroach forms. Filled with contrition, I focused on a figure that had been calling me in my dreams. She showed me the way out of that space. This figure turned out to be a significant teacher and otherworld mentor.” (Page-115). Obscene insects, as seen here, have been used by this force/ entity as a method of torture in many of my visions/ nightmares. They; [mushrooms] introduce themselves with Butterflies & flowers, then when people are ‘infected’, they can inflict ‘teaching’ by abuse. Here is a report from the same book; Magic Mushrooms, The Holy Vhildren. (Nick W.s trip report, Page 86-87). “...My friend turned me on to doing magic mushrooms... As my first trip began, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but as it progressed it developed into an incredibly 490

profound and healing experience. Initially the medicine created a beautiful euphoria of a drug high but it allowed me a safe place to explore the inner workings of my mind like never before. It allowed me to detach myself from my past and evaluate it without triggering the deep emotional upheaval that accompanied my painful memories. As the trip continued new sensations and realizations came about... Without fail the medicine took me directly to the root of my pain. It showed me related memories and trauma like sequences of a film. The loneliness I felt got heavier until I began to cry. My tears brought on an incredible feeling of reconciliation and what followed was a vision of my mother and father. this vision created a warm sensation that took over my body. It was the feeling of pure love and at that moment I could feel the eternal loneliness I had carried for so long disappear. I felt complete and perfectly whole and as the experience drew to a close I felt as if something changed. Something clicked. In the weeks that followed I could tell that the experience changed me. The world seemed much more beautiful - colours were brighter and more vivid. I felt recharged and energized and my depression began to vanish... Each subsequent session with psilocybin relieved more and more of my pain, slowly peeling back the layers of trauma. With each session I found new relief - my symptoms minimized... As I started my forth trip I immediately felt sick. i held back the need to vomit initially and what followed was five hours of hell and insanity. Confused and disoriented I struggled through one of the toughest nights of my life as I tumbled into a dark psychological abyss. Upon wakening the next morning, I was still in a state of confusion. I didn’t understand what went wrong or why I had the traditional “bad trip.” As I went on with my daily life , normal everyday things seemed new and unfamiliar. It was as if I was re-experiencing life again for the first time. as the months went by I began to realize what had happened. I was no longer being triggered by my past. My PTSD had completely gone away. Arguments or disagreements no longer caused anxiety or flashbacks. The old me had completely died, and along with it had gone my past psychological triggers and depression. I realized that what I perceived to be the worst experience of my life was actually the best, most healing night of my life. Psilocybin gave me back what was taken so long ago. It gave me back the ability to be vulnerable, and the ability to love and experience life with grace, faith and acceptance. It helped me come back to myself, the real me, deep down, underneath all the fear and hurt. Since my time with psilocybin, I have made some incredible life changes and I am now committed to telling people my story of healing.” (Nick W. Page- 86-87). Here is an example of psilocybin’s ‘quicksand’ like effects, their ability to possess, trick & perpetuate this deceit. Hypnotized/ entranced by the mushroom initial effects, the author of this report has then experienced an extremely disturbing trip. After witch they are in a state of confusion, later feeling that their pre-trip ‘self’ is dead. Replaced by someone/ something that believes this treatment was the best thing that has happened to them, & they are now ‘committed’ to sharing this experience/ advice to take mushrooms. 491

The next comments I have written in this section because I don’t know how to use the editing program my book is put together on, the printing shop is closed because of a ‘Delta variant Covid outbreak’; From the website; https://edition.cnn.com/2016/03/23/politics/john-ehrlichmanrichard-nixon-drug-war-blacks-hippie/index.html Washington (CNN)One of Richard Nixon’s top advisers and a key figure in the Watergate scandal said the war on drugs was created as a political tool to fight blacks and hippies, according to a 22-year-old interview recently published in Harper’s Magazine. “The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies: the antiwar left and black people,” former Nixon domestic policy chief John Ehrlichman told Harper’s writer Dan Baum for the April cover story published Tuesday. “You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities,” Ehrlichman said. “We could arrest their leaders. raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.” Ehrlichman’s comment is the first time the war on drugs has been plainly characterized as a political assault designed to help Nixon win, and keep, the White House. It’s a stark departure from Nixon’s public explanation for his first piece of legislation in the war on drugs, delivered in message to Congress in July 1969, which framed it as a response to an increase in heroin addiction and the rising use of marijuana and hallucinogens by students. However, Nixon’s political focus on white voters, the “Silent Majority,” is well-known. And Nixon’s derision for minorities in private is well-known from his White House recordings. The comments come as there has been a marked shift in attitudes toward handling drug use -- ranging from the legalization of marijuana in various states to White House candidates focusing heavily on treatment as an answer to New Hampshire’s heroin epidemic while they were campaigning across the state. RELATED: 2016 candidates on the front lines of N.H. drug epidemic Ehrlichman died in 1999, but his five children in questioned the veracity of the account. “We never saw or heard anything from our dad, John Ehrlichman, that was 492

derogatory about any person of color,” wrote Peter Ehrlichman, Tom Ehrlichman, Jan Ehrlichman, Michael Ehrlichman and Jody E. Pineda in a statement provided to CNN. “The 1994 alleged ‘quote’ we saw repeated in social media for the first time today does not square with what we know of our father. And collectively, that spans over 185 years of time with him,” the Ehrlichman family wrote. “We do not subscribe to the alleged racist point of view that this writer now implies 22 years following the socalled interview of John and 16 years following our father’s death, when dad can no longer respond. None of us have raised our kids that way, and that’s because we were not raised that way.” Ehrlichman’s comments did not surface until now after Baum remembered them while going back through old notes for the Harper’s story. Baum said he had no reason to believe Ehrlichman was being dishonest and viewed them as “atonement” from a man long after his tumultuous run in the White House ended. “I think Ehrlichman was waiting for someone to come and ask him. I think he felt bad about it. I think he had a lot to feel bad about, same with Egil Krogh, who was another Watergate guy.” Baum told CNN. Baum interviewed Ehrlichman and others for his 1996 book “Smoke and Mirrors,” but said he left out the Ehrlichman comment from the book because it did not fit the narrative style focused on putting the readers in the middle of the backroom discussions themselves, without input from the author. Baum equated Ehrlichman’s admission with traumatic war stories that often take decades for veterans to talk about and said it clearly took time for Ehrlichman and other Nixon aides he interviewed to candidly explain the war on drugs. “These guys, they knew they’d done bad things and they were glad finally when it was no longer going to cost them anything to be able to talk about it, to atone for it.” Baum said. “Nobody goes in to public service, I don’t think, on either side of the political aisle, to be repressive, to be evil. They go in because they care about the country.” These lies have created a distrust of drug laws, throughout society. The ‘DARE’ program, that was part of my high school education, perpetuated these lies about the danger of cannabis, resulting in a disregard for all government drug advice. The NZ police/ government have continually confiscated & destroyed my gardens of medical cannabis, with NZ Air-force Iroquois helicopters. “For more than 20 years, officers have taken to the skies with the New Zealand Defence Force as part of a national operation to find back country cannabis plots.” 493

Attempting to find another solution for my depression, I grew magic mushrooms. The visions the mushrooms inflicted upon me, tricked me into quitting cannabis use & destroying my seed collection. After 4 years of being deceived by these visions that resulted in them raping & torturing me, I have had to return to cannabis use, as the only means I can find to stop these mushrooms induced abusive visions. The next quote I found in “Tomorrow’s World” magazine; “Christ also said that the true Church could be identified by the fruits of his followers” (Mathew 7:20-23). They may have meant magic mushrooms. This seems probable because I have encountered entities presenting as Jesus after taking mushrooms, as have many other psychedelic users. Their plans (mushrooms) also tried to make me into a follower of Krishna. They used threats to turn me into a vegetarian, (previously I was following intermittent ketogenic diets, Peter Attia / Weston A. Price foundation, nutrient dense diet. Hunting & fishing for much of my food. As well as detoxing from heavy metals. (Following Chris Shade, Dietricht Kligdhardts methods). After these dreams demands, corrupting my life, I became vegetarian for (1 year approximately). My teeth began to suffer, & I stated to get gum disease. Despite taking high doses of nutritional supplements with a vegetarian diet, they continued to torture me with obscene visions of animal slaughter, knowing this was causing my health to deteriorate. I was forced to return to a my previous diet. (My teeth & gums have since recovered). It appears religion(s), & nature spirits are being used as a trick, a controlling system of entrancing people with obedience to visions of perfection. These have mistakenly been worshiped as benevolent, compassionate, kind & loving, (God(s)). When in fact these forces can be sadistic, corrupt, abusive & insane. Many of the quotes from other sources used in this book have been copied without permission from the authors/ publishers. Because of the urgency & importins of my complaint. Withholding or suppressing this information would lead other people into similar situations of abuse, torture & rape by psychedelics. These crimes outweigh any offense or infringement to copyright laws.

494

Note 4. “There is no such thing as a bad trip, the concept of a ‘bad trip’ is a damaging idea”, ~ “If your intention is to learn you can benefit from almost any experience.” ~ “difficult trips are often the best”. (Hamilton Morris, YouTube.com). “Other worlds exist, words don’t work”, “Insanely alien, all these things around you that seem to be alive & they seem to be talking to you & communicating. A bunch of Jokers that were giving me the finger, mocking me.” “Machine Elves make you feel like you know nothing.” “The mushrooms want you to like them & so the first time you do it their going to welcome you. “This is what you should be doing, were going to straighten out all your personal problems, all these weird personality ticks that you’ve got, all the trouble you get yourself into. “Well help you”. & Then one day their going to trick you into taking a large dose & then you’re going to meet the Aliens. & you’re going to realize this dimension we live in is connected to neighboring dimensions that are accessible through certain psychedelics. & Once you see that you can never un see it, regular life loses its seriousness. 20% of your regular life is gone forever, because you know these other worlds exist.” Joe Rogan talks about mushrooms and DMT (Youtube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E2XUl8o2iw “Yet in his 1980 memoir LSD: My Problem Child, Hofmann confessed that he sometimes had misgivings about having brought LSD into the world and helping to popularize psilocybin. He compared his discoveries with that of nuclear fission; just as fission threatens our fundamental physical integrity, so do psychedelics “attack the spiritual center of the personality, the self.” Psychedelics, he feared, might “represent a forbidden transgression of limits.” (Scientific American, - By John Horgan on February 9, 2015). The Following description of psychedelic experience is from; youtube.com - (The DMT experience, everything you need to know. -Daniel Love, Lucid Dream Portal). “Feeling something like a complex geometric multi-dimensional doorway. Now one may be greeted by what feels like some form of an independent entity, and while it’s hard to put into words, often they appear to be formed from the very same everchanging Kaleidescope-environment that unfolds before you, these beings can come in a variety of forms and personalities, from loving almost parental creatures to devious, cold and detached, shocked, outright malevolent, and everything in between. If the dosage has been correct, one will be pulled through the doorway and into “hyperspace” itself. Often guided by the entities, all attempts at a description from this point onwards become virtually meaningless etc. For the next 10minutes, 495

witch for the experiencer can feel like eternity itself, one feels as if they have entered an entirely alternate reality- one in which all the rules of our world have become quite useless. Indeed, many suggest that they feel like an infant in an unfathomably confusing & vastly different universe. There really is nothing that can prepare you for this & the astonishment that one feels can be entirely overwhelming. One thing is common, that the experience is almost always reported as ‘hyper-real’ or feeling ‘more real than life itself”. People report all manner of experiences from alien experimentation, communication with god or gods, peculiar cosmic sexual encounters, playful cosmic clowns, or any manner of outright bizarre experiences. It is entirely impossible to predict the experience, as often each trip seems utterly unrelated to the personality or interests of the user”. “You take 5grams, total darkness, yeah, you will have encounters with the aliens, you’ll be convinced that they’ve landed, for sure” -” Creatures start coming out of the matrix”. Dennis Mckenna- London Real, YouTube.com.). “They are dodgy, their very tricky, their Elfin, their mischievous” - (Dennis Mckenna, YouTube.com) “All psychedelics do is modulate the existing neurochemistry of the brain, they’re not doing something that the brain can’t do on its own, you’re just playing with neurotransmitters or mimicking neurotransmitters.” - (Michael Pollen. YouTube.com) “How do these psychedelics work? Well, we don’t entirely know, but we know a few things. They look a lot like serotonin. What happens after that we don’t really know.” - (Michael Pollen. YouTube.com). “The mushroom or the mycelium network whatever, definitely has a mind and agenda of its own. It might be difficult for the rational mind to accept this, but for me it was so clear that I am taking part of an intelligent entity with its own intentions. Similar to a parasite infecting its host, the psylocibin chemicals in the mushroom infect your mind. I could feel the chemistry spreading through my neurons and how were they rearranged like I was literally laying on an operation table.” (Aleksandar Tasevski)

496

497

truth. I was shown a floating orb, it appeared small and it was one of many floating orbs all spaced out the same distance from one another making lines and rows, but this orb glowed more than the others and my focus came to it and it got bigger or I got closer to it and then I heard “we are all of the same spirit” and the orb entered my body and when it did my body spasmed. my legs and arms went out and my back arched up and i heard a voice saying “sometimes we have to be reminded” and at this point i felt possessed. Personally, I believe ayahuasca creates a situation where you are possessed throughout the trip. Not by demons, necessarily, but certainly by other entities. While you’re off on your journey, they enjoy your body. It’s part of the deal that comes with using it. They may linger with you after the trip.” The following quotes are from the book; ‘Your Psilocybin mushroom Companion, Michelle Janikian; “This inner healing wisdom can also take the form of insights and realization, as well as physical manifestations, like shakes, pain, or nausea.” - (Your Psilocybin mushroom Companion, Michelle Janikian, P-46). “Mazatec man, Inti Garcia Flores, a local professor who has been working to preserve and archive the sacred traditions of his hometown, Huautla de Jimenez, Oaxaca, since he was six years old. He tells me it’s usually later in Iife that people receive the calling to pursue healing work, often after surviving or being healed from a grave illness themselves. He explains that the path to curandismo is a process-it doesn’t happen in a year, nor does it happen after eating mushrooms on time.Often, the word of their community’s ancient deities, los Chicones, the “wise guardian of the mountains, rivers, paths, and wells,” manifests itself in their dreams, and in time, gives them the word & the power to pursue healing, Garcia Flores says, “you don’t go directly to the mushrooms”. (Your Psilocybin mushroom Companion, P- 19). “Mazatec believe the fungi are easily contaminated by ‘bad energy’. Therefore, no one is supposed to handle or even look at them until it is time for the ceremony.” (P-23). “According to the ritual, they would harvest them with great care and affection, singing to the fungi as they wrapped them gently. Then, to further avoid contamination and keep the mushrooms energy “pure”, the curandero & child would return to town on a lesser-known paths to avoid “bad encounters”. Bad encounters would have included seeing dead animal or funeral procession on the way. Even seeing a woman, especially a pregnant one, could contaminate the mushrooms, as could seeing a sick person, Garcia Flores says. So, the child and curandero would take the road less travelled, so to speak, and then place the wrapped mushrooms carefully on the alter waiting ceremony. To this day you’re not supposed to look at the mushrooms until it’s time to eat them in ceremony; because contaminated mushrooms don’t do their job, they don’t teach the same 498

499

“About 30 minutes into the trip, I started to “see” sound-waves. Somehow, the sounds around me were being represented visually. The louder the sound, the bigger the waves. The noises started to get much louder and the visual sound-waves vibrated a lot faster. At first, it was fascinating, but as it built up, the whole thing became a real nuisance. At some point, I just wanted it all to stop, but I couldn’t control any of it. I had been through such things during past trips, where the harder you try to control something, the worse it gets. So, I decided to surrender completely. Even as the sound got unbearably loud, I just tried to relax and take it all in. After a while, the sounds (both their visual and auditory form) didn’t bother me so much anymore. They didn’t exactly subside; they just became mundane. My attention was grabbed by somethingprobably an invisible entity- that was trying to pull my teeth out...~ “I started to feel like I was going insane, either that, or I was possessed by some sort of malicious energy that rendered me incapable of feeling comfortable. I decided to accept that too instead of fighting it.” ~ ”Just as I elected to endure the discomfort in my throat, I realized that my legs were starting to shake. At first, they shook slowly, but then they started to build up momentum and started to shake really rapidly. As this happened, my breathing became heavier and more intense. I felt like I was breathing several times as fast and as deep as I usually do under normal conditions. Two or three minutes after my leg started to shake, everything stopped, and I felt really tired. The sound-waves, the uncomfortable feeling in my throat, and the shaking; they all just stopped, like a light had been turned off. I felt a bit thirsty, so I sat up, picked up a water bottle, and took a gulp of water. For the next few minutes, all I did was hold on to that bottle and say the word “done” repeatedly...” (Experiencing Psychedelics, Alex Gibbons- (P-27-28). “The effects of the mushroom were intensifying at this moment and I started to feel a dark, evil presence lurking over me. It was a disconcerting feeling, so I tried to make sense of it. But as I tried to focus my eyes, my visual field was suddenly populated by some of the strangest images I have ever seen. Even though my eyes were wide open, I couldn’t pick out any familiar object in my room. Instead, there were shadowy patterns that seemed to hold some sort of occultist significance. Then, an otherworldly dimension faded in, and it engulfed my entire reality. Suddenly I was somewhere else, somewhere dark and horrifying. There was against pyramid towering over me, and in front of it, there were Mayan guards. They had stern looks on their darkened faces and there was something evil about them. I could immediately tell that they weren’t exactly pleased with my presence there. It was like they were guarding something secret, and they were very pissed off that I had wandered into their dimension uninvited. I was expecting them to harm me in some way and just as my mind started to run through worse case scenarios, I noticed a gigantic woman behind the pyramid. She also wore Myan traditional regalia and it occurred to me that she might be what the warriors were protecting. This was her domain; she existed behind the curtain of reality and mere mortals weren’t allowed to see her. 500

As the giant woman came into focus, I realized that she was dancing. There was something deeply sensual about the way she was moving. Her rhythm was perfect and her whole demeanor was enchanting. And yet she felt evil and dark. I just knew somehow that she was a kind of woman that drew you in with her charms, and then devoured you. She was an enchantress, a succubus. She terrified me. I thought that she would draw mw in with her feminine wiles and I wouldn’t be able to resist her magic. I thought that if I looked at their long enough, I would get hypnotized or some-thing. So, I decided to shift my focus from her, to direct my attention towards anything but her. I tried the best I could to redirect my attention, but it was too late. She had already hypnotized me and I couldn’t break her spell through sheer will power. Her silhouette came into sharper focus, as she danced more sexually, more energetically. It occurred to me that I couldn’t possibly be her only victim or target; it seemed that her powers of seduction were immeasurable, and she could keep everyone hypnotized at the same time with little effort. As she kept dancing, I noticed that vibrations and waves were coming from her and spreading throughout the entire extra-dimensional reality. She was the source of energy for the plane; she controlled everything. She was the goddess of this reality and all things that existed were there to serve her. She was petrifying and she invoked thoughts that could male brave men afraid to fall asleep. This hallucination was so surreal that I felt myself freeze with fright. And then the light bulb went off; somewhere in my mind, it just clicked: she was the embodiment of fear. The fear that I had, going into the trip, had created her and not the other way around. I was afraid to let go, afraid of whatever lay ahead in my trip, and as my mind processed this information, my subconscious delt with it by spitting out this evil, scary, mysterious goddess. She wasn’t the one controlling me: my fear was. She was just a visual symbol of that fear, some sort of cosmic interpretive dancer wo brought a negative emotion to life. Upon that realization, I decided to take control. I decided to let go of my fear and to embrace the uncertainty of my trip. Just as I made that decision, the Myan woman diffused, like a drop of ink in water, and she slowly faded away. My fear had subsided, so it was time for her to go. My fear was replaced by a very intense urge to embrace the unknown. It felt like the mushroom was pushing me, trying to get me to let go, but I kept clinging onto reality. It was like I was at the bank of a turbulent river, and I was supposed to dive in, but I was hesitant, trying to stay on the bank even though I know it wasn’t really an option. Losing touch with reality is not easy: you have to let go of all the things you know so that you can experience something greater. 501

My hesitation was no match for 5 grams of mushrooms I had ingested: I suddenly became aware of the fourth dimension: hyperspace. I had read so much about it: I knew that it was either a spiritual or mental realm that could only be experienced by people whose minds were truly opened up. Still, nothing I had read could have prepared me for what I saw there. There were disembodied entities floating all over the place. Some seemed to go about their business, indifferent towards me. Some of them turned away from me as if in a deliberate attempt to avoid interacting with me. Some of them found my presence there curious and they came towards me. The friendly entity gave me a crash course in how to use the power of thought to navigate through hyperspace. The whole thing was insane in retrospect, but at the moment, I felt like I was taking an orientation tour of a magical universe. After that my confidence levels received a bit of a boost. I felt like I knew the rules of the game, like I could let go and marvel at this incredible visual universe without a monster popping out of the shadows and swallowing me whole. I believed I have some semblance of control over my hallucinations, and that made me feel secure. I lay back in my bed, got as comfortable as I could, and pulled the covers over my head so that I was totally buried in my duvet. Then, I just let go of everything. I stopped trying to control my thoughts, and I let my mind wander wherever it wanted to. I did the same with my body; no tightening of the muscles or clenching of the jaw; I just released myself. That’s when I experienced ego death. All that I was, everything that defined me just washed away. Since I wasn’t trying to control my body anymore, it seemed to have gained a mind of its own, and it was now contorting in bed, uncontrollably, and with no discernable rhythm. In my ego death, I awoke on the other side, not as myself, but as pure energy. I only existed in the form of consciousness. I felt like I was an all-powerful being, maybe even a god. There was nothing that could restrain me and I seemed to possess every superpower imaginable. I started to chant out loud: “I am awake!” My speech seemed beyond my control. It wasn’t me talking; it was the energy that was the essence of my being. I kept chanting on as loudly as I could. If anyone had been in the house with me at the moment, they’d probably think I had gone totally mad, or that I was possessed by some kind of spirit. After a while, my chanting got so intense that I couldn’t finish the entire phrase. Instead, I just kept saying “Am! Am! Am!” Repeatedly. I was writhing in bed and my body, now dispossessed of my mind, kept striking strange poses. After a while, all 502

the twisting started to feel uncomfortable, but I didn’t seem to be able to stop it...” (Experiencing Psychedelics, Alex Gibbons- (P-32-36). This trip report is an example of what I have described; people encountering malevolent entities, & then believing that they have been ‘transcended’ by their choice to confront this ‘fear’. When in fact what has happened may have been entirely constructed by this entity, that has now ‘possessed’, or altered how this person is reacting to these events. Convincing them they are in control of their reactions, & that the experience is helping them, as a means of spreading its control over people. “My consciousness was in a constant state of transformation, changing its very nature, as it surged with energy” (P-37). “...three bings slowly emerged from the periphery of my field of vision, and they started to approach me at a sliggish pace. They appeared as though they were made of light, and as I later realized, so did every other creature or entity that I encountered in DMT the world. As the 3 beings got closer to me, they opened up and they started covering me with massive warm blanmkets that were also made of light. These blankets enclosed in a cocoon and they seemed to radiate the feeling of love into my body through my skin. Suddenly I was completely covered with love and they being started to carry me away, still wrapped in the blankets that they so generously provided. ~ “...I encountered a seemingly translucent circus performer, who floated up to me, with a giant hoop in his hands. He held out his hoop and lifted it up, and I noticed that inside it, there was a hyper-dimensional masterpiece of geometrical art, one that was much more complex than any that I had seen at the museum so far. This art-piece seemed to be alive. It ran as though it had an engine in it, and it shook, vibrated, and radiated light all at the same time. The energy from this masterpiece was so vibrant that the circus performer seemed to have a difficult tome holding in on to the loop that is contained it. As the geometrical masterpiece in the loop started to overwhelm the circus performer, he called out to other beings, who popped up out of nowhere, ready to help. But the circus performer started to say, “I can do this, and he can take it.” He repeated the phrase several times, as though he was inviting me to take the hoop from him and assuring me that I was perfectly capable of handling it without trouble.” “...There was something about the way the entities in hyperspace communicated with me that felt unusual yet intimate. It’s like they could anticipate what I thought and how I felt, and they could talk to me, even though some of them were faceless. And then I realized that they weren’t talking at all: They were telepathic, and so was I! All communication in the DMT universe was done telepathically. All the entities there could get into my mind, and I, in could get into their minds as well.” 503

...As the ecstatic cheering subsided, I felt the entities get into my head and permeate my mind. They started opening up these otherworldly glands that were somehow located in my head...” (P-143). WARNING CONTAINS DISTURBING CONTENT: “But even before I could complete that thought, I was thrust into a dark hellish world, one filled with sadness and death, Suddenly, I was surrounded by shapes that looked like bones and carcasses, and I felt as though rivers of blood were flowing over me, and even through my body. My world was suddenly made up of animal mutilations, death camps, and overwhelmingly sad thoughts.” Oddly, as I delved into the darker parts of the DMT world, I was not at all afraid. Sure, there was a lot of grotesque imagery, and things too sad to describe, but none of it felt scary. It was as though my mind was conditioned to understand and to appreciate the darkness that is characteristic of human nature but not to fear it; fear is a limitation, and in the DMT world, there are no limitations. S, I let the darkness and sadness just flow through me, and soon enough, it all passed and the light came back on. As the darkness moved to the periphery and vanished, and as the light was restored, creatures of light came along with it. I was visited upon by these massive insects that looked somewhat like jellyfish. “...In a fleeting moment, I was an egg. A moment later, I hatched into a Cicada. Still in the next moment, I was levitating upwards and interacting with massive entities I had not seen before...” (P-141). “...and I had the sense that the realm was constructed by some sort of superconsciousness, one that transcended human imagination. In that extra-dimensional realm, it felt like all science fiction notions were possible. This was a whole other universe, where natural biological things did not exist. This universe was populated by entities that were light years ahead of ours in terms of evolution. In comparison to the DMT realm, the real world seemed to be held together by weak entry level science.” (P-151). “The DMT world seemed to have some sort of hive brain that could communicate telepathically with mine. The entities seemed to say, “This is real, now you understand”. They repeated this phrase over and over as I gazed around with a deep sense of wonder.” (P-153). “Although my swallowing was involuntary, I felt like the overlords at the DMT world were controlling it. In fact, all my body functions felt like software programs running on a computer that was programmed by the entities in that dimension...” (P-154). 504

“Many of us- including me- have bought into existentialism; the philosophical argument that we exist as autonomous individuals with the freedom to choose our own parts, and to act according to our own wills. However, after touring the DMT universe, I realized that this philosophy was deeply flawed. The one fundamental truth of the universe is that everything is connected, and there are forces beyond our comprehension that makes everything function as they do...” (P-156). “...I had a strong suspicion that beings in the DMT world were perhaps the creators of our world. It felt like without them, our world would not exist. To me, it made sense that these beings were parts of a super-conscious entity, like the machines in The Matrix, and we were projections, living in a reality that they simulated, all the while thinking that we were the ones in control. In a way, tripping on DMT was like taking the red pill, and finding out for a fact, that our notions of autonomy and free will are misgiven.” (Experiencing Psychedelics, Alex Gibbons- (P-157). From the same book is the following explanation of ‘bad DMT trips’; “Scary DMT trips often involve being haunted or tormented by the entities in your DMT vision. You might feel as though you are being chased are threatened by both visible and invisible entities. You might hear sounds such as maniacal laughter, which can be very unsettling. Instead of experiencing pleasurable bursts of energy running through you, on a bad trip you might feel as though you are being shocked, scr4atched, poked, or even stabbed. You might also feel as though the entities are manipulating you; planting ideas that you dislike into your mind. It might also feel as though some of your life’s worst fears are coming true. Your sense of time may also be distorted, and you might feel like you are spending a very long time in a scary universe you hardly recognize. You may regain enough awareness to start wishing that your trip was over, but if this happens, you will be stuck in limbo, until the DMT wears off. You could try using a moderate dose of unadulterated DMT and thinking positive thoughts right before your trip to reduce the chances of a bad trip. However, even then, it’s a coin toss, and your trip could turn out to be either good or bad, whether you like it or not. The worst-case scenario for a bad DMT trip is ending up in a coma where you experience terrifying psychedelic dreams for a long time.” (P-171). “What is ego death on DMT? Ego death is a psychological term that refers to the total loss of subjective selfidentity. In DMT (and the use of other psychedelics), it refers to a situation whereby 505

you lose your sense of self. When you experience ego-death during your trip, you feel like your body is not there anymore, as though your mind is the only part of you that exists, and it is able to move freely through a spiritual universe. Ego-death also feels like you have no control over what happens to you; you feel like you are adrift in a place that is controlled by other entities, and you have no mastery over your environment. Things just spin and swirl around. You are fully awake, yet you have no sense of personal identity. You also feel like you are more than just human; like there is a part of you that lives on even when your body is gone. That’s why many DMT users who self-identify as atheists often end up acknowledging that there is a spiritual component to the use of the psychedelic.” (P-172). “After reading a wide range of psychedelic trip reports, it is clear to see that there is a common thread that connects all of them. DMT, LSD (acid), mushroom, mescaline, and other psychoactive drugs open our minds to greater possibilities, and they revel to us that there is something out there, something otherworldly, something we can’t just explain. Those who are scientifically inclined often argue that psychedelics are just mild toxins that cause hallucinogenic side effects. We have also encountered various reductive views on psychedelics, including the argument that all the documented extradimensional and spiritual experiences are just psychosomatic creations of the users’ minds. However, even to the staunchest of scientists, the similarities of these trips is undeniable. In our research, we have encountered many atheists and scientists who wouldn’t pay any mind to the notion that psychedelic use resulted in either spiritual transcendence or mystical insights. These people were adamant and dismissive; they were set in their convictions. However, those of them who were willing to try out one or more psychedelic drugs invariably came out of their trips with a change of heart. A few would even admit outright that they were totally wrong, but most would agree at the very least, there was something there beyond human understanding.” (Experiencing Psychedelics, Alex Gibbons- (P -180). I had not read this book before taking mushrooms, it was published in 2020. Though the book begins with the disclaimer; “First and foremost, we want to make it clear that we are not trying to romanticize the use of magic mushrooms or other psychedelics for that matter. Psychedelic compounds, even those from natural sources such as mushrooms, can be harmful to you and to the people in your life, especially when taken carelessly”. (P-3) 506

The cover of this book looks like sex & candy-floss, & the general theme of the book is as a guide for psychedelic use. It does not present a neutral, unbiased view of these experiences. They are encouraging psychedelic use. From page 174; they recommend a list of pharmaceutical/ drugs, (benzodiazepines), to use as ‘trip killers’ in case of ‘bad trips’, ‘terror trips’, or ‘full-on waking nightmares.’ - Lorazepam (also called Ativan). - Diazepam (also called Valium). - Xanax (also called Alprazolam). - Klonopin (also called Clonazepam). And antipsychotic medications; - Seroquel - Zyprexa. - Etizolam - Phenibut - Trazodone All of these prescription drugs have terrible side effects, & are not something people should consider as a reliable method of ‘controlling’ unwonted psychedelic effects. The author is irresponsible to recommend these to people who may have taken a substance that can cause suicidal thoughts & hallucinations.

507

Xochipipilli. R.G. Wasson, in his marvelous book “The Wondrous Mushroom-Mycolatry in Mesoamerica”, has pointed out that “flowers,” botanically unspecified, are a huge recurring theme in Nahuatl poetry. He explains that for the Nahua poets an singer, “flowers” and “flowering” or “dream flowers” referred to the visionary experience induced by teonanacatl mushrooms. “The flowers took them to another world...a world that they called their Tacloban, a world of strange and wonderous beauty, where they reveled in sensations beyond imagining.” (Wasson 1980). Hence the poets would speak of “inebriating flowers” and “songs that inebriate,” pointing to a quality of the mushroom experience often remarked on by inner space explores; their ability to stimulate creative expression in voice, song, and poetry. It was Wasson too, who first identified the famous Aztec deity known as Xochipilli, the “Prince of Flowers,” as the deity of ecstatic mushroom trance. The remarkable seated figure, dating from the sixteenth century and now in the museum of archeology in Mexico City, wears a mask with hollowed out eyes, his face lifted upward with fixed gaze. This is a depiction of a man in ecstatic trance. ~ All around the base of the figurine as well as on his body are large images of various flower, including the hallucinogenic morning glory (ololiuhqui), and mushrooms in profile. This deity is a kind of Mesoamerican Dionysus, a god of rapture and inebriation. Wasson writes; “Here is the work of a master, a supreme carving of a man in the midst of an unearthly experience, the formal hieratic effigy of the God of Rapture, the God of Flowers (as the Aztecs put id): the god of youth, of light, of the dance and music and games, of poetry and art; the Child God, the god of the rising sun, of summer and warmth, of flowers and butterflies, of the ‘Tree-in-Flower’ that the Nahuatl poets frequently invoke, of the inebriation mushrooms” (Wasson 1980, P-59) (Sacred Mushroom of Visions Teonanacatl, Ralph Metzner. (P-15-16) This statue, I think, shows somebody paralyzed\ hypnotized\ possessed by something. Not a state of 'ecstatic trance,' perhaps a state of torture, that they were unable to describe in words.

508

“A shaman is someone who swims in the same ocean as the shizophrenic”- Terrance Mckenna- YouTube.com “I have had contact experiences, I have seen a UFo, very close, I have met with entities from other dimension & it has not impelled me to take a strong position” Terrance Mckenna

509

Fantastic Fungi (Documentary). The following is from the introduction to documentary film promoting magic mushrooms. Narrated by Brie Larson. “These mushrooms, they can heal you, they can feed you, they can kill you.” - Paul Stamets. “It’s not like a vegetable & it’s not like an animal, but its somewhere in between.” -Eugenia Bine. “We need to have a paradigm shift in our consciousness, what will it take to achieve that?”. - Paul Stamets. “We can heal the planet; we can build the future & our world is fantastic”. - Stamets. “FANTASTIC FUNGI - The magic beneath us.” (The introduction reads. Clearly an advertisement for magic mushrooms). Stamets has the opinion the people lack the ‘skill set’ for communication with nature. He believes it is a fact people lack the language skills to communicate with nature. “If we can’t communicate with the organisms that sustain us, we will not only destroy the organisms, we will destroy ourselves.” Stamets says he is trying to make a course change in the evolution of this planet. He recommends running down a path of knowledge as fast as you can to save 100s of lives into the future, (by taking psychedelics). “If you know that every breath you took could save 100s of lives into the future, had you walked down this path of knowledge, would you run down that path of knowledge as fast as you could?” “I believe nature is a force of good is not only a concept, it is a spirit so hopefully the spirit of goodness will survive”. - Stamets. This introduction has been said over time laps video of mushrooms growing & Stamets balancing on fallen trees. I could not watch any further because it has become a source of stress & anger for me to listen to these ‘gurus’ promoting something that has raped me. This documentary, judging by the introduction is ‘mushroom propaganda’, & has been produced by people ‘possessed’ by magic mushrooms, or ‘switched on’ by them; as they say; “a paradigm shift in consciousness”. 510

It is incorrect to think that ‘nature’ is a force of good only, & that all communication from ‘nature’ is benevolent. As can be seen by the natural world nature is; cruel/ brutal/ predatory/ parasitic/ inhumane etc. It may look beautiful, (when selectively filmed in speeded up HD footage with special effects), this appearance belies the fact that ‘nature’ is not what humans want it to be. (Did they show time lapse footage of spiders eating butterflies? Or snakes/ Scorpions/ Owls hunting mice etc?). The current state of discordance between people & nature may not be because people cannot communicate with nature, it may be because nature is hostile & inhumane. People live the way they do (modern society), in an attempt to get away from these forces of creation. Nature\ god, (the forces of creation), may not want people/ Stamets to “save 100s of lives into the future.” What he has said may be a PR agenda by the mushrooms to make Stamets seem like a humanitarian. The mushrooms real agenda may be human genocide. Possibly because people have destroyed most of what nature has created. Dreaming is a poorly understood dimension of human existence. This state appears to be inhabited by autonomous entities or a controlling force, that has the ability to inflict abuse & torture as well as to entertain & deceive with seductive trickery. There needs to be research into medications/ procedures to block/ disable dreaming in individuals who choose to. My condition has been inhumane. Though high doses of CBD oil + cannabis are working to block dream recall, the sense of something alien effecting my mind persists.

511

Reptiles. (Rainbow serpent). Snakes, (& other reptiles) are a common theme in dreams & psychedelic reports. I have seen a giant multi-colored snake in one of my visions/ dreams, not long after taking mushrooms. Many different theories and interpretations are made of animal entities encountered in altered states. I have also seen many Owls, Hawks, (other native NZ birds), Hares, Deer, (once a Haast Eagle, also a Pterodactyl & Tyrannosaurus in separate visions). The information in this book concerning these apparitions may help others to see that these phenomena are not always there to help. & That it is impossible to discern if what is encountered is being truthful, or has an ulterior/ malevolent, motive. Some facts about snakes are; That they cause death. They use hypnosis (rattle snakes) & geometric patterns. Deceit (camouflage), & that they are venomous, (emit a deadly toxin). Potentially symbolic of psilocybin’s & other psychoactive plants action in the body. These visions of snakes & other animals have been mistakenly worshiped by indigenous cultures as benevolent nature spirits. (Nature/ God) as a caring & kind mother. Seeing This is a kind of psychological trick, that these unseen forces are able to convince people is the truth.

512

The shamans I contacted in Brazil refused to help me, (they would not reply or made dismissive replies). It is possible they were told not to help me by their guiding spirits, (God). After 6 months in Sao-Paulo, I was unable to find anyone who knew what to do about my condition. I tried Ayahuasca, alone. This experience was similar to my first experiences with mushrooms, apart from a sense of my entire body burning. They/ it, then generated a sense of love/ sensation in my heart connected with a woman I have never met. I had asked with intention for the Ayahusca to end my curse. I slept after several hours, & was woken by the not unfamiliar ‘psychotic/ nightmare vision’, a cruel/ sickening & deliberate attack. The psychic abuse in my sleep has continued. I was kept as a prisoner for 12 days in Sirio-Libanes Hospital (January-2021), Sao-

513

Paulo. I was advised to visit the hospital by hotel staff, when I asked who to see about medication to stop these nightmare visions. The room was 3x3 metres, without windows, & no time outside. It required the intervention of lawyers for me to be released. Psychiatrist in New Zealand, lied about my medical condition, & the Brazilian hospital staff/ management, began lying to me as well. Saying that I had researched ‘suicidal material’, on their computer, & denying me access to a lawyer. My health deteriorated rapidly because of the stress of this situation, the change in diet, & thought that I would not be released, because I lack any close friends, & the fear created by being lied to. 2 friends were eventually able to pick me up from hospital & I returned to New Zealand, to spend another 2 weeks in managed isolation/ hotel quarantine. Since returning I have been writing this book. Everyone(?) has some experience of 'nightmares', that is; encountering visions when asleep of things with the intent to horrify\ shock\ traumatize\ etc. It is clear that something is able to effect people with content that is intended to harm, & that psychedelics effect this mechanism\ phenomena\, with unknown consequences. When I was a 6 year old, I had a nightmare of; being persecuted, chased by a monstrous prehistoric dragonfly. How & why this can happen is not understood. Perhaps this is what is meant by god 'cursing' humanity, because Eve (the first 'enlightened people') ate the fruit, some-how, psilocybin has 'intercalated' with human DNA. Allowing something like 'Pandora' to play with peoples sleep\ minds?

514

Ayahusca. Page 93, of the book ‘When plants dream’, has several pages on the misconduct of shamans using Ayahusca; ‘While he claimed he would remain in telepathic contact with his clients during the night, one women who worked there reported going by his house during ceremony to find Mancoluto wathing horror movies while his clients writhes and moaned in their solitary pens.” (When Plants Dream, Daniel Pinchbeck + Sophia Roklin, (Page- 93) “Manculuto tried to hide what had happened by buring Nolans body and burning his belongings’. Eventualy Mancoluto, whose real name is Jose Pineda Vargas, was convicted of homocide and sentenced to five years in prison.” “Amazonian ayahuscueros are mainly men; not only do they tend to identiy with predators such as Jaguars, but the have not sworn to the Hippocratic Oath,” writes Narby, who sees ayahuscaros as “enchanters” who can gain power and control over thier clients. The enchantment engendered bu the ayahusca journey may have particularly malevolent consequences when it comes to gender dynamics and sexuality. “Western women who consult Amazonian ayahuscaros may view them as therapists,” Narby notes. “But when male ayahuscaros enchants his female client, the relationship between them changes; it is no longer based on consent, but on subjugation.” Along with the spread of Amazonian shamanisim, we find many stories and accusations of sexual misconduct and abuse by male shamans, after ceremonies and even during them. “What visitors like me didnt realize is that shamans keep predatory creatures as thier guides,” explained another Canadian woman, Maya, who had been unwittingly dosed with (toe), and sduced by prolific shaman in Peru. “Spirit guides like the Jaguar stalk and prey upon weak creatures- and thats exactly what happened.” Unfortunately, enough cases like these have been brought to public attention and are common knowledge in the ayahusca community. In response to the ever-increasing number of revalations, Brazilian anthropologist and executive director of Chacruna.net Beatriz Labate and colleagues published an online series - “Ayahusca Community Guide”- on sexual abuse prevention to educate the public and increase understanding about the cutural clashes that occur at the intersection of shamanisim and sexuality.

515

The guide states; “The globalisation of ayahusca presents complex cross cultural interactions where local and global moral codes and gender relationa norms often come into conflict.” It continues; “Shamans” are highly romanticized in the Western imagination. Some South American, and indeed Western men, have learned to take advantage of these naive characterizations of the healer. The collaborative document offers a list of suggestions for the ayahusca curious....” (When Plants Dream, Daniel Pinchbeck + Sophia Roklin Page- 94-95). The MAPS team have added the same (Chacruna institute), page to their website about the subject of Ayahusca shamans raping people. The page they have added is written by an “institute for psychedelic plant medicines”. (Not an institute for people.). The article attempts to explain that shamans rape people, because their are ‘cultural differences’ in the understanding of consent. &, That they are; “Limited in their ability to influence the shamans, religious leaders and other perpetrators of abuse in ayahusca contexts with whom the accountability lies...” Their aim is to raise awareness about this issue so that people can make informed decisions. Their response is inadequate, they are encouraging/ supporting the use of psychedelics\ shamanism. They are not aware of the true nature of psychedelic substances. Because to give psychedelics to someone, causes people to loose their identity (egodeath), are they 1 year old when waking ? The mind can be completely changed and corrupted by these substances. [See image; painting of snake through shamans head]. It is further evidence of the ‘satanic\ evil’ nature of the entities and spirits that are encountered in these alternate dimensions, that they continue to help rapists. It is also concerning that entities that have the power to use telepathy to convey accurate information, do not use it to stop these predators?

516

WARNING CONTAINS DISTURBING CONTENT

Feminisim. There is a feminist group called; ‘Pussy Riot’, a Facebook advert for their protest shows a masked person, that could be considered [blodgeoned], (see art section). It is obscene, as are many feminist artworks. I do not know why this is. Maybe feminism has been influenced by psychedelics & there is something in nature that is evil. Feminism is considered worship of nature as a ‘mother’ & this source, is apparently insane, violent, abusive, parasitic, corrupt, & obscene etc; (god(s) \ godessess\ [aliens], nature). I am not sure what the group intended by calling themselves ‘rioting genitailia’, the equivalent name of a male group would insite the idea of abuse\ rape. There are many more obscene, paedophilic & insane images, I found while researching psychedelics, that I have not included in this book because they are too disturbing\ sick; They have been reported to the NZ police. Lana del Rays song; “Ultra-violence” is another example of a lack of policing of media, &\ or inability of people to recognize the damaging message in this music. This song is clearly sadistic. Sadism leads to rape. Halloween is also creating dangerous situations, by using obscene & violent concepts as entertainment. Because these ‘imaginary’ characters may actually exist in other dimensions, &\ or be used by unseen forces to torture\ abuse in visions or dreams. To encourage this by ‘playing’ at being a monster; vampire; ghoul etc could invoke their presence. There is a metal music festival called ‘Hellfest’. & Pizza company called; “Hell Pizza”, They would not call these; ‘Rape-fest’, or ‘Rape Pizza’. Yet that is what ‘Hell’ can be; A state of sickening torture, that is real. It is not a music festival or a pizza company. This is misuse, & inapropriate use of words, that could create dangerous confusion about serious conditions\ crimes. It reflects cultures belief that these states are not real. I have been tortured by entities claiming to create this state; (HELL). For people to attend a festival\ in celebration of this is sickening. These people need counseling & not a festival.

517

The New Zealand national anthem declares; “God defend New Zealand”. The New Zealand anthem lyrics (& many other countries), create the belief that ‘God’ is a kind & protecting force. This belief is incorrect & creates a \ abuses people. falsetrustin something sa distic,that rapes\ tortures & Perhaps an accurate reflection of the governments values ? There has been no response from the government to my letters about the damage being done to peoples health by EMF radiation. Other than to say my letter was received, (see; letter from Government house). The prime minister may have been misinformed by government scientists. I have noticed in myself sensitivity to this man-made EMF radiation, because I have had high levels of mercury that interact with EMF fields, creating illness, chronic fatigue, headaches, insomnia etc. There are conclusive peer reviewed scientific studies showing man made EMF radiation; from cell-phones\ cell-towers\ Wi-Fi\ Bluetooth\ Dect-phones\ 4&5 G etc; causes DNA damage & mutations\ cancer & many other serious illnesses. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2020/04/prime-minister-jacinda-ardernsays-conspiracy-theories-linking-5g-and-covid-19-are-just-not-true.html “Kiwi professor of health psychology Dr Keith Petrie says the majority of studies show no evidence of 5G being harmful - and the studies that do show harm are unreliable.” “Some people report that they are sensitive to the electromagnetic fields used in mobile phones and wifi,” he said.

518

“Studies show that such people do experience symptoms, but only when they know they are being exposed. In double-blind conditions where they are exposed without knowing whether the electromagnetic field is on or off, no reliable effects are apparent.” The effects following the exposure of EMF radiation may not be noticeable to people, (while being exposed to this radiation), like sunburn, the effects of EMF exposure are felt long after the event. There are many peer reviewed scientific studies that confirm EHS is a real condition & demonstrate the cellular mechanism for the negative effects people report.

519

520

About The Autor.

I was born in February 1986, My parents are atheist. I received some ‘Bible in Schools’, teaching from primary school age, (this has scince been stopped in most NZ schools). My parents are farmers, (Deer, Sheep, Cattle). I attended school in Queenstown & did not pay attention in class. I did not like school because of the sense of ‘enforced learning’. The threat of punishment for failure, & lack of interest in most subjects. School seemed like the painting; ‘The exercise yard’ by Gustave Dore.’ I worked at M'cdonalds after school, & baby-sitting, lawn mowing. In my spare time I liked riding bikes (MTB/ BMX), Trout fishing, & snowboarding, hunting, tramping & sailing\ dinghies, fly-tying.

521

After school I studied deep sea fishing for 6 months before beginning work on a deep sea trawler. Later I worked many jobs around Queenstown, Tiler, joinery shop apprentice, wilding pine control/ pest control; (possum trapping), & as a hammer hand on construction sites. I participated in a DOC (Depertment of Conservation) ranger training program at the Southern Institute of Technology. & have also milked cows, & some Woofing around NZ. In my 20s I was arrested by police for burglary, following several ‘smash & grab’ attacks on shops in Queenstown. This was over the space of a few weeks when I was first put on ‘fluoxetine’/ ‘prozac’, for depression. I took fluoxetine for 3 months. I think this event was caused by a combination of factors; poor adjustment to society, after failing to make any connections with people in school (autism), resulting in depression, combined with medication & alcohol. I also had extremely high levels of mercury at this time, that I was unaware of. After this event I was sentenced to 6 months home detention. I suffered from chronic fatigue & depression during this time & for the next decade, until I began detoxing from mercury in my 30s when my health recovered. At this time I was listening to a lot of YouTube talks/ information from the USA, about detoxification from heavy metals, nutrient dense diets & health effects of EMF radiation. Then I discovered the talks of Terrance Mckenna & several other lecturers on the subject of Magic Mushrooms. I was also studying & practicing lucid dreaming; waking in dreams & being able to consciously control activity for a brief time, experiences of flight, shifting scenes, interacting with dream characters etc. I would often listen to a small radio that played Mp3s, for hours a day, while meditating. These talks & further reading of books by PHds & other respected ‘experts’, led to me taking 1gram of Liberty Caps. In the following year I took mushrooms again at monthly intervals, around 9 times. These trips, as I have said elsewhere, were not unpleasant, or outside of what others had described in the books & talks I listened to. Some weeks after I took the 10grams an Elf had told me to take. My dreams SNAPPED. In one dream a character appeared with a gun outside the van I slept in, saying; “I am going to kill you”. The 4 years since then have been a living hell. With insane, sickening abusive visions, & bizarre physical effects that have driven me to attempt suicide. Following my trip to Brazil in 2020 to search for help, I returned to New Zealand, & have now written this book. Something was able to create a storyline & visions of heaven & hell, with the power to transform people & animals into anything, (in this dimension/ dreaming/ psychedelic space). It can talk though these characters & used myself as well, 522

(speaking as me in my sleep). It is able to materialize any person, (living or dead), in these altered states. These powers it has are not balanced by the values the Church & other religions have attributed to this force (God). Mushrooms have parasitic effects on consciousness, they can control/ alter ideas & feelings. Please share this book anyone who may be at risk of taking psychedelics. Lester Harvey 7 September 2021

523

524