AskRachel
Write-offs, four-letter words and free samples Interesting fact: Jupiter and Saturn are going to conjunct in December. That happens every 20 years though, so I’m afraid we can’t blame this year on astrology. Dear Rachel, I have a sudden and irrepressible urge to lower my annual tax bill. I’m thinking that the spare room of the house is actually an investment property. All these Zoom calls must mean that my haircuts are now deductible. Money’s all made up anyway, so if I drop a zero there and move a decimal point here, who am I really hurting anyway? Besides, there’s somewhat living proof that I’ll never have to pay for my sins. What other tips & tricks do you have? – Eternal Revenue Service Dear Tic Tax, I know nothing about taxes, but I’m in! And you’re in! If we each tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on, and so on, then soon everyone will be in and there’s no way the IRS can audit us all. That’s basically the herd immunity everyone keeps talking about, right? Then we can start a huge circle-jerk of deductible expenses. I’ll consult for you, then Jimmy Noname will consult for me, and you consult for him, and we’ll all be rich. Just to be safe, let’s all run for City Council. Because you can’t prosecute a sitting councilmember. – A non-standard deduction, Rachel
Meet the author and climate change discussion with Laura Paskus, author of At the Precipice: New Mexico’s Changing Climate, and Mountain Studies Institute, free Zoom presentation, 6:30 p.m. Sponsored by Maria’s Bookshop. More info at: www.mariasbookshop.com
Wednesday07 Girls on the Run Fall Virtual 5k, Oct. 7-11. $15/individual, $50 for a family of four and $10/canine. To sign up or for more info, go to www.gotrwesterncolorado.org Backyard fruit harvesting with the Good Food Collective, Wednesdays, 5-7 p.m. Meet at Manna Soup Kitchen. Bring water bottle, face mask and boxes/bags for any fruit you want to take home. Info at: goodfoodcollective.org Free bokken (sword) and jo (staff) lessons, 5-6 p.m., Claire Viles Park. Masks required.durangoaikido.com Terry Rickard plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Free circuit workout, every Wednesday, 6 p.m. lead by physical therapist Andre Botha. Masks required. Ohana Physical Therapy, 130 Rock Point Drive, Unit C in the Tech Center. RSVP at: 970-247-7895. “Dangerous Venomous Critters,” free community education class, 4:30-6:30 p.m., Durango Rec Center. Pre-
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Dear Rachel, I got to thinking about brand names recently. Specifically, initialed ones. Does anyone know what AT&T stands for? Or H&M? I happen to know what BMW stands for, but it could mean Big Machine Wheeeee! and it wouldn’t matter. All these names literally mean nothing … and yet they mean something. I say them and you picture their products. It’s freaking wizardry, man. Like, why do we even use words and stuff? Huh? – Clever Acronym Dear Initials, IKR. Except, you know, every word is an abstract construct that applies meaning similarly to people across a swath of the population. You pretty much just described the magic of language with so much wonder that I can practically smell your kush. What next, a letter about how incredible it is that the light we see in stars up in the sky traveled for hundreds of light-years just to land in your cornea? – A four-letter word, Rachel
Email Rachel at telegraph@durango telegraph.com
Dear Rachel, It’s SO COOL that right now you can see Jupiter, Saturn and Mars all in the sky at the same time. You know what’s even cooler? I realized, staring up into the sky at the planets last night, and beyond them the Milky Way, just how incredible it is that the light we see in stars
up in the sky traveled for hundreds of lightyears just to land in my cornea. It makes me feel so special, almost chosen. Do you feel that too? – Child of Stardust Dear Child of the Cornea, Well, what were the odds of that? Did I miss the free sample day at the dispensary or something? Hate to break it to you, but those stars scatter their light particles like buckshot in every direction. The real wonder would be if the light never reached you at all. I can help you achieve that miracle, all for a simple consulting fee that you can write off as a legitimate business expense. – Twinkle twinkle, Rachel
sented by Durango Fire Protection District and Durango Parks and Recreation. Classes limited to 20; masks required. Registration: tosh.black@durangofireorg or 382-6014.
Lacey Black/Dale Elliott play ragtime and honky-tonk piano, thru Oct. 5, 12 noon – 2:30ish, daily at the Grand Imperial Hotel’s Lone Spur Cafe in Silverton.
Ongoing
Upcoming:
Sunnyside and Fort Lewis Mesa libraries are open, providing books, movies, music, audio books and internet service, Mon.-Fri., 2:30-7 p.m. or call 970-375-3816. Curbside service also available. Fort Lewis College 2020 Faculty Biennial exhibit, viewing every Wednesday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and by appt. thru Nov. 19. For info: www.fortlewis.edu/art-design/artgallery.
Durango Playfest presents “Actor’s Journal,” free recordings of original works, essays, poems, remembrances by various actors. Six new actors featured every month. www.durangoplayfest.org/actors-journal Durango Public Library Weekly Activity Kits available for curbside pickup every Tuesday. Kits include supplies for one project for preschool, elementary and teen-age students. A new kit is released every Tuesday while supplies last. Email reference@DurangoGov.org or call (970) 375-3380. PIVOT: Skateboard Deck Art exhibit, over 100 skateboard decks painted by 30 different Native American artists, on view by appointment through spring 2021, Center of Southwest Studies. swcenter.fortlewis.edu/
Jose Villareal plays, Oct. 8, 5:30 – 8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. “Resources for Creative Entrepreneurs to Survive COVID-19,” virtual presentation, Oct. 8, 9-10 a.m. Presented by Durango Creative District, First Southwest Community Fund and Southwest Colorado Small Business Development Center. www.durangocreativedistrict.org. Jose Villareal plays, Oct. 9, 5:30 – 8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. 12th Annual Apple Days Festival, Oct. 10 at the Durango Farmers Market. Visit www.goodfoodcollective.org/ apple-days to pre-order fresh cider.
Deadline to submit items for “Stuff to Do” is Monday at noon. E-mail your stuff to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com
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