Fighting cancer together

Girls’ friendship began during hospital stays

BY CONNIE WIRTA

The three girls never would have met at school because they live in different communities. Their ages — 10, 12 and 14 — may have been a barrier. But fighting cancer has made them good friends.

Ella Mahnke, Ella Smith and Nathalia “Nat” Hawley call themselves the “8 West Club” because they met on that floor at Essentia Health-St. Mary’s Children’s Hospital in Duluth. Each girl spent lots of time there receiving cancer treatments, dealing with side effects or fighting illnesses caused by a compromised immune system.

While some stays were scheduled for treatments, others were serendipitous. One girl got sick and headed to hospital only to find another one already there. Soon the girls and their parents were keeping in touch, both in and out of the hospital.

“It’s nice to come here and still have your friends. You have someone to talk to and do things with,” said Nat Hawley, a 14-year-old Duluthian who was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer.

One of Nat’s recent hospitalizations coincided with a treatment session for Ella Smith, whose room was just next door. The girls move easily between each other’s rooms, always aware when someone doesn’t feel well enough for a visit. They chat, watch videos and play games. Often, they head to the unit’s new solarium, where they can do the arts and crafts that all three love.

“It’s hard for all of us, but it’s easier to do it together,” explained Nat. “You feel a need to talk to somebody so it’s great to have people like the Ellas — somebody you can talk to like a regular friend who sees this as normal. That’s what makes it easy.”

“It’s nice that we’re friends because we relate on all this treatment-related stuff but we can also normalize things for each other,” said Ella Smith, who is 12 and lives near Cook, Minn. She was diagnosed with leukemia.

“When I tell my other friends, it’s awkward because they can’t imagine how it feels,” explained Ella Mahnke, who is the youngest at age 10 and lives in Proctor, Minn. She was diagnosed with Ewing’s sarcoma.

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Dr. Ross Perko, an pediatric oncologist and hematologist at Erick Peter Person Children’s Cancer Center in Duluth, says he and the hospital staff encourage their young patients to interact if they’re feeling up to it. “The biggest thing is that they feel they’re not alone, especially when they’re preteens and teens,” he says.

Dr. Perko explained children can become isolated during treatment, especially when their compromised immune systems mean they can’t go to school or be around friends. While kids and parents often get to know one another during hospital stays, he said this trio has formed a special bond.

Gwyn Schrecengost, Ella Smith’s mom, says being together is comfortable and the girls feel accepted. “They’re not afraid of each other’s bald heads or tubes or IVs,” she said. “At their age, girls are self-conscious and they’re not being looked at as funny. They fit in. They don’t stand out.”

“The girls don’t have to hold back with one another, they can open up and be who they are,” said Katy Augusta, Nat’s mother. “They’ve found someone who truly understands and whom they truly trust.”

“The girls have bonded quite well,” said Brian Mahnke, Ella’s father.

The trio enjoys spending time together outside the hospital. They’ve attended camp and joined each other’s birthday parties. They celebrated the end of Ella Mahnke’s chemotherapy with a surprise party in the Pediatric Unit’s solarium. Nat decided to fill balloons with confetti. “We popped the balloons, and the confetti flew everywhere,” she recalled. Among the party photos on Dr. Perko’s phone is one that shows just his red athletic shoes and a floor covered with confetti. “That’s was a really good day,” he said with a smile.

“If I hadn’t gotten sick — which would have been great — I never would have been able to meet all these wonderful people,” says Ella Smith. “What we learned mainly from each other is we all go through hard things but we help each other remember that we can do it and we’ll be fine. We’ll live. We’ll be good.” —

MDT

Connie Wirta is an editor for Essentia Health marketing. She wrote this for Moms & Dads Today.

A Look Forward At Baby Names

If you are expecting a child and don’t want to pick a name on the “most popular” list but still want to be a trend-setter who is ahead of the curve, the team at Names.org has some suggestions. The website released predictions for the 15 fastest growing baby names in 2018. These are not the most popular names right now found at the top of the list, but the wild cards and fastest growing. The trends suggest these names are on their way up.

15 Fastest Growing Names in 2018

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