MILLENNIALS ARE HAVING BABIES, SO OF COURSE WE’RE CALLING THEM “PARENNIALS”

By Liz Carey

Our little bundles of joy aren’t little kids anymore. That’s right, the millennials, the generation born between 1980 and 2000, are grown up and having kids of their own. Dubbed the “parennials” by the New York Times, this new generation isn’t anything like the parents who came before them.

While we’ve been busy maligning their self-centeredness and their addiction to selfies, they’ve been getting on with their lives. And by all accounts so far, they’re putting their own stamp on parenthood.

First, they’re not going to be turning to us for advice, they’re much more likely to just Google it. Having spent almost their entire lives with personal technology, they are likely to look online for help with parenting, according to Zero to Three, an organization that has been studying new parents since 1977.

So much for that “I don’t need Google, because my mom knows everything mug” for Mother’s Day.

But the downside to that is many parennials feel overwhelmed by all the information available out there, and confused by which resources they need to pay attention to. A study by Zero to Three and the Bezos Foundation called the National Parent Survey, found 84 percent of the parents of young children they interviewed turned to articles specifically aimed at helping parents, but only 49 percent of them found them to be helpful.

Oddly, the survey also found that while 88 percent of them turned to their mother for parenting tips, only 68 found that advice particularly effective. But good old mom ranks up there as the number one source of effective tips. Not surprisingly only 32 percent found the advice they got from “good parenting portrayals on television” or “social media” effective.

At the same time, the study found, parennials feel completely judged for their parenting skills. A whopping 90 percent of moms and 85 percent of dads feel judged, and nearly half of all moms and dads say they feel like they are judged all the time or nearly all the time.

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The dilemma, parennials said, is what to do about it. As one respondent to the study said, “If you discipline your kid, another parent might think you’re being abusive. If you don’t discipline your child then they might think you don’t care about your child.”

Speaking of self-centeredness, the generation that grew up posting their every movement on social media is now posting their child’s every step on social media too. From giving children Twitter accounts at birth, #letshearitforanotherbrittany, to an endless array of “themsies” – pictures of their kids – parennials are just as social media savvy with their progeny as they were with themselves.

But, surprise, surprise, they may not be able to pay the bills. For millennials who got out of college just as the recession hit, there are big bills like student loans to pay, and few resources to pay them with, especially if the kiddos are relying on the gig economy for income. As a result, more and more these millennial parents are relying on their baby boomer parents to help them out.

You know what that means, right?

Yes,… they’re never moving out of the basement and they’re bringing the pitter patter of little feet with them.

And on top of that, they’re going to fact check you when you tell them putting bourbon on a baby’s gums will relieve the pain from teething.

The good news, though, is that the millennials, more than any other generation, seem to be the generation that really seeks to find a work/home/ family balance. According to a PwC study on millennials in the workplace, 71 percent of said work demands interfere with their personal lives. In fact, 15 percent of male employees and 21 percent of female employees say they would give up some of their pay and slow the pace of promotion in exchange for working fewer hours.

This isn’t a sign of laziness, the company said, but more one of millennials finding balance.

“While working through and excelling during such demanding times can have significant rewards in an employee’s future career (e.g., rapid skill development and advancement within the firm), millennials are largely unconvinced that what they would have to give up is worth such a sacrifice,” the study found. “Millennials value work/ life balance, and the majority of them are unwilling to commit to making their work lives an exclusive priority, even with the promise of substantial compensation later on.”

Maybe we can all take a page from their play book on that one.

While the rest of us have been busy drinking the hater-gade on the millennials, as parents, they’re changing all sorts of things we thought parenthood ought to be. But then again, they’ve been changing how we see a lot of things.

And with 82 percent of children born each year to the parennials, it’s not a trend that’s likely to stop soon. v