SPRING / SUMMER 11
I ntroduci ng a new s tyle of whisky for a new ki nd of whisky dri nker is the worlds first “Triple Malt� whisky, carefully crafted from three of the finest Speyside single malts in small batches of just 27 casks. On its own it is smooth and rich. However, this is a whisky that loves company and is a favourite of top bartenders.
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SS11 d es t in o signum by v er o ni q ue droulez SPRING / SUMMER 11
williamson shirt washed buoy orange check
williamson shirt washed buoy ORAnge check dapper trousers scrubbed vermillion twill
doyle jacket grey windowpane ferguson v-neck navy with linen dapper trousers skye blue twill
kirkwell waistcoat indigo herringbone holms shirt storm grey right: inver shoe stone canvas / meleze grain inver shoe blue canvas / mahogany
country calf full grain weekend bag sage
red teeth
had promised each other we’d
The pastor spread strawberry jam
keep them switched off. I picked
onto a scone and I watched him
We had watched each
up my phone and there was a
slowly, methodically, devour it.
other over the dinner
message coming through via
Jam on his fingertips, butter on
table, the breakfast table,
Bluetooth. It was from BLUE BILL. his nails. Bill told them that he and I had to use our handsets
the lunch spread. We had swum in the freezing ocean
Emmy was in the kitchen and I
for work, that they were not to
together. We had shared a couch,
bit the back of my hand to stifle
mind if we checked them. He
legs touching, as the sitting
a giggle. Bill sat with his legs
was casual. Eyes glistening with
room lights went down and the
crossed, typing into his phone,
bravado.
television played a forgettable
smirking. It said, with Bill’s
film.
trademark text message block
My pocket buzzes, I flip open the
capitals: I FOUND OUT THAT phone, my straight face fastened All under the watchful eye of
ON FRIDAY EMMY LEAVES
on. BEAUTIFUL GIRL, I
Auntie Emmy.
FOR THE MAINLAND. WE
WANT SOMETHING FROM
WILL HAVE THE HOUSE
YOU.
We slept in different bedrooms.
TO OURSELVES OVER
We didn’t creep around at
THE WEEKEND. CAN YOU
I wait five minutes before I
night as the house creaked and
WAIT THAT LONG? X I
respond: Something for the
shuddered from the weight of the
bit my knuckle and went to the
weekend…?
Hebridean wind.
toilet to laugh into the palms of my sweating hands.
Bill types immediately, keeping an admirably straight face: CAN
She had a cabinet filled with mini Mary Magdalens. She
On Wednesday a man came to
YOU SEE IT BULGING IN
told him once that a man and
visit. He was introduced as the
MY TROUSERS?
woman who lay together without
Pastor. He raised a single eyebrow Soon after, the pastor asked
matrimony would burn fastest
at us as if he knew something we
to look at the phone. I broke
in purgatory. On this island,
didn’t. Or something we did. Bill
the rich tea biscuit in my fist.
we came as friends, colleagues,
and I hadn’t been anywhere near
Bill handed the phone over
companions. Away for two weeks
each other. I imagined she would
calmly. I assume any trace of our
of relaxation. Walks, firesides
be waiting for us. That she could
conversations was beyond the
and drams of whisky.
smell it, this rancid passion in
technological understanding of
repose, languishing amongst the
the pastor. He tapped and fiddled
All the while, secretly,
stillness of her antique furniture.
with a look of bewilderment
hopelessly, punch-drunkenly
We didn’t dare. But this old man
broken only by the occasional
seething with desire for each
seemed keen to sit in the deathly
glance over to Emmy.
other.
quiet of Emmy’s Hebridean cottage sitting room and listen
Our Bluetooth conversations
Blue Bill. That’s what he called
to the clock ticking, the clink of
broke the tedium of the time
himself. A nickname for the
tea cups and saucers, pouring his
we spent indoors. But the week
real world and the virtual. We
gaze into ours.
wasn’t without its surprises. The night the pastor came to dinner,
learnt to communicate in a way that Emmy would never have
Bill took to sending Bluetooth
I slept poorly. I woke up in the
questioned. Bill started it, asking
messages while we sat there, the
night to an animal noise. An
me if I had checked my phone.
four of us, five if you count the
owl, a fox. Who knows what they
That the office may have rang.
doubting scowl of Emmy’s late
had up here. So many sounds
His look urged me to switch
husband from his omniscient
I’d never heard before, in that
my phone on, even though we
perch on top of the television.
wild, wild wood outside Emmy’s
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cottage. I lay awake and listened,
The pastor and Bill would see her
Western Isles, the latitude of
my mouth dry and my shoulders
onto the ferry. Soon there would
Portugal and the longitude of
chilly above the blankets. I don’t
be water between her and us. Bill
Nova Scotia, we are a million
know how long I lay, but it took
had Bluetoothed me as Emmy
miles from the world. And we
me a long time to summon up the gathered her coats. The pastor
have all weekend. We have
courage to take my empty glass
stood in the doorway glaring at
waited so long, curbed our
to the toilet to fill up with water.
me. HIDE AND FUCK? came
feeling. Here in a forbidden
the message from Bill. WAIT
house, Blue Bill and I will take
The upstairs corridor was
IN HER CLOSET. I’LL LET
this to the extreme. Stripped
small and narrow, and I crept
YOU OUT OF IT WHEN I
from the waist up, I shiver as
lightly along it, barely able to
COME BACK.
crushed velvet and creperie brush against my naked torso.
see. The toilet floor was freezing under my bare feet, and I ran
And now here I am, sixteen
the tap slowly by the feint light
going on forty, hiding in my
HERE COMES BLUE BILL,
from outside, somewhere a
secret boyfriend’s great Aunt’s
he will say.
moon or stars shone. Relieved,
cupboard. Among the heavy,
I returned to the corridor and
musky dresses and the ancient
I don’t hear him return. Don’t
gasped, dropping my glass on the
petticoats. Around my feet I can
hear the van. The whole world
carpet. At the end of the corridor,
feel stiff shoes and unidentified
is quiet and I’m alone in a
in the doorway, stood a feint
blunt objects. I daren’t move: as
cupboard. The first I know
outline of a figure, just visible
if she is in the house. But she
of him is a buzz in my palm
to my rapidly adjusting eyesight.
isn’t. I heard them leave, picked
and a glow in the dark of the
Emmy stood in the doorway to
up and driven off by the pastor
cupboard as the handset lights
her room, not moving, not saying
in an decommissioned post office
up. I jump, bumping an elbow
anything. I picked up my glass
van, Bill going to wave the old
on the door. I am standing
and breathed an apology, an
bat onto the ferry and make sure
awkwardly, half crouching, my
explanation, softly as I bumped
she’s five miles out to sea before
legs aching somewhere beneath
back into my room. Emmy stayed, he comes back, bolts the door
the adrenaline. Perhaps he got
silent, still. I couldn’t make out
behind him and leaps up the
dropped off at the end of the
her face or features. I closed the
stairs with his trousers round his
lane.
door and wrapped myself up in
ankles and a glint in his eye. I fumble for the phone in my
blankets. It was light outside The wind is up, the shopping
skinny jeans. Bluetooth is open,
forecast had spoken. Doorframes
and the message flashes up. I
Hide and Fuck. It’s a game we
rattle and the gusts push against
hold the phone up to my face in
used to play as teenagers. In the
the mizzened windows.
the light, frowning at the little
before I returned to sleep.
screen.
early days when our bodies were undiscovered mountain ranges,
I imagine how he will arrive,
we the explorers. When our
what he will say. The smell of
And as my legs crumple, as my
parents would go out, one of us
him stepping into the darkness
face burns with shame. As the
would hide in a cupboard for the
with me. The tread of his shoes,
windows rattle. The screen asks
other to find. A childish game
every step bringing him closer
me to accept a message from
which ended in an adult way,
to me. HERE COMES BLUE
RED TEETH
clothes torn off and satisfaction
BILL, the phone will say.
had there, on the floor of
COMING TO GET YOU,
whichever room we happened
GIRL. The older we’ve got,
to be in. The day had come for
the more protracted these
Auntie Emmy to leave the island.
games have become. Here in the
NEITHER AM I www.neitherami.com
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noble polo dry white dapper trousers skye blue twill inver shoe blue canvas /mahogany grain
inver shoe stone canvas / meleze grey inver shoe blue canvas / mahogany grain doyle jacket midnight holms shirt storm grey
law pocket tee dry white dapper trousers indigo herringbone
law pocket tee dry white dapper trousers indigo herringbone inver shoe blue canvas / mahogany grain jute belt natural cuenca panama with yacht stripe
C h e e r s t o t h e m e n o f t h e m a lt i n g s At one time, a “Monkey Shoulder� referred to a temporary injury suffered by malt-men when turning the barley by hand. Whilst our malt-men are among the few who still follow this traditional practice, fortunately the injury has been consigned to the past. Today, the name lives on in recognition of how malt-men once suffered for their art.
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SS11
Photographer OLIVER PILCHER WWW.OLIVERPILCHER.COM
art direction
d es t in o Veronique Droulez
HAIR
JUSTIN WILLIAMS
MAKEUP
Abigail McGrath
DIGITAL / RETOUCHER JULIA ESKELL
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY ROBERT JOHN PARKER
signum CAMERA ASSISTANT THOMAS AYERST
TALENT
ROB KNIGHTON @ NEXT UK MEG @ NEXT UK
TAILOR
ABDULLA KOK
SPECIAL THANKS TO LULU AND LUSH
15 LAMB STREET LONDON E1 6EA
by
& CHRISTIANA ROBERTS
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uk & rest of world
droulez Jim pickles – d.s.dundee star house
3 richmond road london, e8 3hy
TEL: +44 207 241 2448 JIM@DSDUNDEE.COM
SPRING / SUMMER 11
SPRING / SUMMER 11