Never Take Your Child’s Learning for Granted

Never Take Your Child’s Learning for Granted by Erin Hussey • The Balsam School

1546 Bernard Avenue, KelownA 250-763-5100 www.starbrightokanagan.ca

We have all seen them portrayed in movies or Reading, and being read to, allows for insights into television shows - young parents panicking that memory, comprehension, potential vision issues, their child will not get on the wait-list for the and may even open the door to uncovering right daycare or elementary school. While often social challenges in the classroom if your child played for a laugh, these anxious caricatures has a strong emotional response to being asked reflect all parents’ concern that their child to read with you. Reading together is a rich may miss out on a strong and early learning bonding experience and an important source of foundation which we all believe (and much information to an engaged parent. research shows) sets the path for future success. Get involved in the school • The more a parent Learning outside of the home, from someone who knows about where their child spends the best hours is not family, is a relatively modern development that of his or her day, the better. Knowing the environment, the most parents reading this take for granted. For most of us, adults, the activities and the friends that your child encounter when our child turns five, it is a given that we send him or her off to each day is vital information that an engaged parent can use to better school. That first day of kindergarten begins a thirteen-year journey where understand and support their child at home. Attending school has a huge our child will spend the best hours of his or her day in the care of, and impact on your child, and being aware of what is inside ‘the black box’ learning from, someone else. makes for much more effective parenting. At school, children are rested, enjoy the best weather and the most Less ‘screen time’ and more ‘real time’ • To put it plainly, there sunlight hours of the day, and get to be with their friends. At the end of is little that is positive about a child spending time on a screen. While the day when they return home, you as a parent often find them tired, placating and amusing a child for short periods is necessary for most hungry and cranky. When you look at it from a productive and positive parents (and totally understandable!), please ensure that the vast majority hours perspective, parents make quite a trade off with school in the hope, and belief, that it will be worth it. For the most part, we accept that it is the teacher’s job to teach (and at least partially raise) our children Monday to Friday, for the ten months of the school year, with few questions asked. For many parents, school is a black box. Their child goes through the doors in the morning, comes out at the end of the day, and what * occupational Therapy happens in between often remains a mystery. Our schools in British * Physiotherapy Columbia are wonderful, and our overall education system ranks as * Speech and language one of the best in the world, however, nothing improves, and ensures, * Infant Development a child’s learning like an engaged parent. While most teachers and Program principals mean very well, and most children do just fine at school, I encourage you as a parent to not simply trust good intentions, but rather, * Supported Child Development Program observe and make note of concrete results. * Clinical Counseling

l ess screen time, more real time

Here are a few tips that any parent can employ.

Get to know your child’s teacher • Teachers are amazing people who are very busy! Many parents do not want to bother their child’s teacher and often wait until the scheduled parent teacher interview to discuss their child. While this can seem kind, it is a reactive approach. It is far better to proactively introduce yourself to your child’s teacher and check in regularly. Let your teacher know you are on his or her team, and that you want to know clearly how your child is doing so that you can best support learning at home. Most teachers I know love when a parent is a positive member of their team! Read at home • Not only is this a great way to connect with your child, reading is an indicator of how your child learns, is learning, and whether there are hints of any issues that you should further investigate.

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of your child’s hours outside of school are spent in real time. Physical, mental and emotional development requires a child to be engaged in the real world, not a virtual one. No matter how amazing building a structure in MineCraft may seem, from a development perspective it pales in comparison to building a sand castle by the lake. Be proud of mistakes and risk-taking • True learning happens just outside what we know. The process of moving from the ‘known’ into the ‘unknown’ to find out what is there takes courage, hard work and willingness to risk failure. As an engaged parent, encourage and praise effort and risk taking, not just successful outcomes. Resilient learners are the ones who will change the world. Model being curious • When your child tells you something, simply respond with, “that sounds interesting, tell me more,” and then take time to really listen enthusiastically and curiously to your child. This models the importance, and joy, of not just touching the surface of learning something, but digging deeper. It reflects to your child that you happily expect them to pursue learning, and that you are confident they have the ability to learn more. I can also guarantee that if this becomes part of your family culture you, will soon stop hearing, “good,” or “nothing,” in response to your question about their day at school. Let them know you were a kid once too • As humans, our first response to an experience, especially a negative one, is to assume that it is somehow unique to us and that it has never happened to anyone else. Children can easily internalize very normal and common experiences among peers, as something that is wrong with them. As you listen to, and

validate, your child’s feelings about a particular experience, offer them comfort by relating that you were a child at school too, and that all the things he or she is experiencing are part of growing up. Assure them that as their parent, you, and the caring adults in their life (teachers and other family members) are going to work together with him or her to ensure everything works out. Empowering No one will have a more profound support of your child, rather than just ‘fixing it for them’ will build their resilience and confidence and deepen their trust in you.

impact on your Make sure your child is rested and eating well •

child than Nothing affects our mood and ability to learn more you! than our sleep and diet. A healthy and consistent sleep routine and a nutritious diet will ensure your child is at their best to learn at their best. Remember you are your child’s number 1 teacher! No one will have a more profound impact on your child than you. All these tips are easier to write, than to do in this very busy world of ours. I know many parents feel that they just don’t have the time or schedule that allows for being truly engaged in their child’s learning, regardless of how much they would like it to be otherwise. Just start with the tip that resonates the most with you and see where it takes you. Happy learning! Erin Hussey loves creating learning communities . He is Founder and Principal of The Balsam School where the motto is, “We can do hard things!”