Everyone Needs Help at Sometime

everyone Needs Help at Sometimeby Dorothee Birker • KCR Community Resources

Let’s be real … everyone needs a little help now and again. Over the past two years (yes, sorry, but I am going to reference the pandemic, even though we are all tired of hearing about, talking about and living it) we have been tested on so many levels, and many of us may be experiencing mental and emotional fatigue. I know I am. It has been hard to navigate it all. I am doing my best, but I feel stretched too far. Even without a global pandemic, our personal circumstances can at times conspire to create a perfect storm on a very personal, individual level. When that happens, where can we turn?

For 39 years, KCR Community Resources has been providing a critical community safety-net for everyone: the Crisis Line. This easily accessible resource is available for anyone personally dealing with a crisis or supporting someone who is facing challenges. Help is available by phone 24/7 at 1-888-353-2273 and by text to 45645 between 1:00-9:00pm PST. Highly trained and caring volunteer Crisis Line Responders are at the end of that line, waiting to be there and be present for individuals in the community experiencing emotional or situational distress, relationship issues and social isolation. The Crisis Line Responders’ active listening skills, empathy, compassion and patience make all the difference for someone when they are in crisis. Since August 2021, through a generous grant from the Kiwanis Legacy Fund through the KGH Foundation, the Crisis Line has expanded to include texting as well. Texting is a great option for anyone, but especially for youth as texting is definitely a preferred communication tool for them. When a child or youth is in crisis, it is often difficult to talk about it or to say it out loud and it is easier to express their emotions through text. All information shared by phone or text is kept completely confidential so anyone can feel safe getting in touch. Crisis Line Responders pride themselves on providing that safe and private space for people. Recently I had the opportunity to speak with some of the Crisis Line Responders about their experiences. They of course did not share any information about their calls but they were able to share with me their own feelings about being a part of this incredible resource in the community. Our conversations really highlighted for me that I do not need to fear reaching out. I do not need to fear judgement or rejection, but instead I can be certain that the person on the other end of the line, truly cares and truly wants to help. “There are very few resources in our community that are available 24/7, and I knew I wanted to be a part of something that could change so many lives,” shared one responder. Another one said “This is one of the most rewarding volunteer positions. It can be challenging, but there are no words to express how it feels knowing that you’re making a difference.” The Crisis Line is not just for people who are in crisis themselves, but can also be a great resource for people who are supporting another individual who may be struggling. Trying to be there for someone can be very challenging and having support through that journey can be very helpful. KCR Community Resources also offers an incredible resource for those who are struggling through the Suicide Prevention Handbook (available online at www.kcr.ca/publications/). Recognizing that we all have a role to play in preventing death by suicide, this booklet offers critical and accessible information, helps you to recognize warning signs, to know what to say and when and how to take action. We may not always be aware of what is going on for others, but it helps to understand what factors make someone more or less likely to consider or attempt suicide and what the warning signs look like for someone contemplating suicide. What are the warning signs? • Suicide can affect everyone regardless of gender, race, income and family background. Someone thinking about suicide usually feels intense and overwhelming emotional pain characterized by sadness, anger, guilt, shame, emptiness and hopelessness. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to know when someone we care about is thinking about suicide, but there are some signs to be aware of. Dramatic Changes in Behaviour • You may notice that the person is no longer taking care of themselves, complains of exhaustion and neglects their personal appearance. Or someone who is ordinarily cautious

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is suddenly engaging in risky behaviour such as reckless driving or sexual promiscuity. Dramatic mood changes and any significant behaviour changes may be cause for concern.

Problems in School • A dramatic drop in performance or grades, falling asleep at their desk, emotional outbursts or other uncharacteristic behaviours may signify that something serious is going on. Excess Substance Use • Alcohol and other drug abuse appear to be significantly linked to increased risktaking and suicide attempts. If you notice your friend’s alcohol and drug use increasing, this behaviour could be a concern to address. Withdrawal from Life • Withdrawing from classes, friends and family, sleeping too much (or too little) and visiting or calling to ‘say goodbye’ can all be suicide warning signs to take seriously. Giving Away Possessions • Someone who has decided to attempt suicide may start giving away their possessions, such as clothing, books or other valuables.

Concerning Verbal Statements • A person who is thinking of suicide may make comments such as “life is not worth it,” “you would be better off without me,” “I wish I were dead,” “I don’t know if I can go on,” or “you won’t have to worry about me for much longer”. These statements should always be taken seriously. Comments about having no reason to live, feeling trapped, experiencing unbearable pain, feeling hopeless or in despair, and stating an intent to hurt or kill oneself are all warning signs of serious suicide risk. Gathering Materials • Individuals making a plan for suicide may seek a means to kill themselves. For example, they could look to purchase firearms, weapons, rope, extra medication, drugs or poison. They may also search online for ways to end their life. Again, signs of suicide look different for different people, but the above list can be good indicators that something more serious may be going on. If someone you care about displays any warning signs, it’s important to take these threats seriously. To help, consider offering emotional support, listening and encouraging your friend to reach out to a professional, such as a counsellor or a Crisis Line Responder. It’s okay to need help - many of us do at some point in our lives. Whether you, or someone you are close to, is having thoughts of suicide, feeling overwhelmed, or just need someone to talk to, there is someone that is available and ready to help 24/7... by phone or text. Please consider reaching out. Here is one of my favourite quotes from the Crisis Line Responders: I start my calls with a thank you to the person calling because I know how hard it is for them to call and I am genuinely grateful that they did. Then I listen. That is the biggest thing. We all just want to be listened to. If you need someone to listen, call the Crisis Line at 1-888-353-2273 and by text to 45645 between 1:00-9:00pm PST.

Need help?

Contact the

Crisis Line at 1-888-353-2273 and by text to 45645.

Dorothee Birker is the Communications and Development Coordinator at KCR Community Resources, a multi-service agency that fosters diversity, collaboration and resourcefulness by tailoring services to meet community, family and individual needs . They do this in four overarching areas: Family and Adoption Services, Employment Services, immigrant Services and Community Services, which houses the Volunteer Centre of the Central Okanagan .